CLUB lNTERVlEW

4 CLUB JANUARY / FEBRUARY 2009

Do your parents ‘help’ you whenever you want (and even when you don’t want!)? Then your parents may be ‘helicopter parents’1 – watch out, they may ruin your life!

1 ‘Helicopter parents’ is a new term to describe parents that interfere in all areas of their teenage children’s lives, because they hover around their children all the time.

before you read:Do your parents interfere in your life? Is this good? Why / why not?

I am the unfortunate owner of two ‘helicopter parents’. They keep a close watch, mainly over my school and social life – actually, I suppose that is my whole life!

There’s nothing my parents love more than to quiz all my teachers about my progress at school. Last

year, they tried to complete my GCSE2 coursework behind my back*, even though that’s not allowed. They even stole the coursework assignment from my bedroom after I had hidden it in order to ‘put the fi nishing touches to it’! But the worst and most embarrassing thing they’ve done in my school life was trying to get my maths teacher fi red* after she predicted that I would get a C in my maths AS3 exam!

Socially, my parents use my mobile phone as a metaphorical* dog lead in order to control my life from afar. At least

fi ve times a day at weekends, I receive a short call or text, asking me where I am, what I’m doing and when I’ll be home. This is incredibly embarrassing, especially when you’re in front of all your friends. I did try switching my phone off, only to see my mother walking across the park where I was with some friends. But even worse than that (if you can believe it) was the time my parents came to my friend’s party, so that they could keep an eye on* me.

These are just a few incidents out of a countless* number of embarrassing and obsessive things that they’ve done.

Despite all this, there are some upsides to having helicopter parents. For the last three years, I haven’t had to do any homework; I don’t even have to ask them to do it! A lso, my teachers are so afraid of my parents and what they might do, that they all treat me really nicely and never shout at me or give me detentions*!

JON GREET, 1 7, LONDON

CLUB asked two British teens to ‘spill the beans*’ on their parents.

They tried to complete my GCSE coursework behind my back!

ARE lNTERFERlNG PARENT

Comparisons THE REPORTPage 17

JANUARY / FEBRUARY 2009 CLUB 5

NTS RUlNlNG* YOUR LlFE?

LlZZY HARRlS, 1 9, BEDFORDSHlRE My parents give me plenty of freedom!

My parents are not ‘helicopter parents’ because they give me plenty of freedom and are not always interfering with my life.

Children develop a much better relationship with their parents if they do not see them as a

nuisance*. Parenting styles have changed a lot over the last twenty years. It’s true that the streets used to be a lot safer for children to be out on their own. But some parents have over-reacted! For example, they never allow their children to be out of the house by themselves.

I think it’s important for children to be given more responsibility as they get older. For example, I was given a rabbit as a pet when I was 12. I had to look after it myself. This showed me that it takes a lot of time and commitment to look after a pet, and it also helped prepare me for future responsibilities. If my parents had cared for it themselves, I would not have learned the same lessons.

When I got to the age of 14, when I asked for a lift*, my parents would negotiate with me (so that in return I would walk the dog or do the washing-up). I think this helped me

to understand that they are people aswell as parents and that I shouldn’t rely on them to be there at my beck and call*. In contrast, I watched other friends being chauffeured* everywhere, which meant it was a real shock when they left home!

My parents also encouraged my sister and me to help prepare the evening meal, so before long I had memorised most of the family recipes. I now prepare them at university much to my friends, appreciation, many of whom struggle* to turn on the oven!

I think there may have been some advantages for me if I had had ‘helicopter parents’. It would have meant fewer chores, help with schoolwork and perhaps they would have driven me around a bit more. But in the end you have to grow up and live your own life and that’s what parents should prepare you for!

Discuss it!Compare Jon and Lizzy’s lives. Use as if, as ... as ..., far more For example: Jon’s parents treat him as if he is a child.

2 GCSE = General Certifi cate of Secondary Education. An exam taken at 16.

3 AS Exam = Advanced Subsidiary exam. This is the fi rst half/year of an ‘A’ level exam. Advanced exam taken at age 18.

6 CLUB JANUARY / FEBRUARY 2009

THE REPORT

‘Helicopter parents’ is a new term used to describe parents who hover over every aspect of their teenage child’s life, rescuing them whenever possible!

*WORDWISE • ruin (v) spoil or destroy • spill the beans (idiom) tell a secret • behind my back (phrase) without your knowledge • fi re (v) make someone lose their job • metaphorical (adj) an expression which describes a person or object by referring to something that is considered to possess similar characteristics • keep an eye on (idiom) watch • countless (adj) more than you can count • detention (n) when a teacher keeps you at the end of school for bad behaviour • nuisance (n) annoying • give somebody a lift (phrase) drive somebody somewhere in your car • at someone’s beck and call (idiom) always willing and able to do what somebody wants • chauffeur (v) drive around • struggle (v) fi nd something diffi cult to do

1. It’s late and you are struggling with a homework assignment. What do you do?

a. Ask your parents to do it.

b. Ask your parents for some help.

c. Tell your teacher that you didn’t understand it.

2. You need a packed lunch for a school trip. What do you do?

a. Ask your parents to make it.

b. Ask your parents what to put in it.

c. Do it yourself without asking for help.

3. Your ex-boy/girlfriend keeps phoning you. What do you do?

a. Ask your parents to make up an excuse

saying you’re out.

b. Hide when the phone rings.

c. Tell him or her to stop phoning.

4. You get lost on your way to a job interview. What do you do?

a. Phone your mum!

b. Ask a passer-by for directions.

c. Look on your map.

5. You get a D in your homework. What do your parents do?

a. Hire a private tutor.

b. Help you with your homework each night.

c. Tell you to try harder.

THE ANALYSIS IS ON PAGE 15. A

They fl y into school to complain when you get a bad grade. They obsess over your school report. They help write your essays – and even your C.V. Sounds familiar? You’re the owner of helicopter parents! Good parents will naturally want to advocate for and protect you. But how far is too far? “Parents are becoming much more involved in all aspects of their [children’s] lives these days, “says Dr Paul Redmond, Head of careers at Liverpool University. “Some parents help their teenagers to get into university and some even help them get jobs when they graduate. I’ve had employers tell me that parents are contacting them with regard to their children’s’ careers – and some are even negotiating pay rises for them!”

Helpful or unhealthy?It may sound helpful – but is this healthy? Not at all. Helicopter parents can stop their children from learning to make their own decisions and to cope with failure – things that they need to learn in the real world. “It gives students confi dence when they can solve problems themselves,” says Rich Barbera from the University of Connecticut. And as for parents contacting companies about careers for their kids – well, that will just backfi re. “Employers want graduates who are self-reliant,“ says Dr Redmond. “It’s great to have support but sometimes it’s better to leave the parents at home.”

WHAT ARE HELlCOPTER PARENTS?

HOW lNDEPENDENT ARE YOU?Are you self-reliant or do you depend on your parents? Try our quiz to fi nd out.