“YetIfancyyoumusthavehadyourchancestomarrybeforenow?”saidJustin.“Yes,butonlytwice,andonewasamiddle-agedwidower.”

“I’mmiddle-aged,Emma,andImaybeawidower.”

Emmasaidinstantly,“No—you’renot,areyou?”Shetriedtoseehisface,butthemoonlightplayedtricks;hiseyesgleamed,whetherwithamusementorangershedidn’tknow.

“AndwoulditmakeanydifferenceifIwere,Emma?”

Shegaveuptryingtoreadhisexpressionandstaredoutofthewindowinstead.Afteramomentortwoshesaidwithperfecttruth,“Noneatall,”and,allthesame,wasextravagantlyrelievedwhenhereplied:

“Well,I’mnot.AsIsaid,IhavewaitedpatientlyandIthinktheyearsofwaitingwillbeworthwhile.”

RomancereadersaroundtheworldweresadtonotethepassingofBettyNeelsinJune2001.Hercareerspannedthirtyyears,andshecontinuedtowriteintoherninetiethyear.Tohermillionsoffans,Bettyepitomizedtheromancewriter,andyetshebeganwritingalmostbyaccident.Shehadretiredfromnursing,butherinquiringmindstillsoughtstimulation.Hernewcareerwasbornwhensheheardaladyinherlocallibrarybemoaningthelackofgoodromancenovels.Betty’sfirstbook,SisterPetersinAmsterdam,waspublishedin1969,andsheeventuallycompleted134books.Hernovelsofferareassuringwarmththatwasverymuchapartofherownpersonality.Shewasawonderfulwriter,andshewillbegreatlymissed.Herspiritandgenuinetalentwillliveoninallherstories.

THEBESTOFBETTYNEELS

WISHWITHTHECANDLES

CONTENTS

CHAPTERONE

CHAPTERTWO

CHAPTERTHREE

CHAPTERFOUR

CHAPTERFIVE

CHAPTERSIX

CHAPTERSEVEN

CHAPTEREIGHT

CHAPTERNINE

CHAPTERONE

MISSEMMAHASTINGSclosedhereyesandashudderranthroughhernicelycurvedperson;sheopenedthemagainalmostimmediately,hoping,ratherafterthemannerofasmallchild,thatwhatshedidn’twishtoseewouldbegone.Ofcourseitwasn’t.TheRolls-RoyceCornischeconvertiblestillgleamedblacklywithinayardorsoofherappalledgaze.Inother,happiercircumstancesshewouldhavebeendelightedtohavehadtheopportunityofviewingitsmagnificenceatsuchclosequarters,butnow,atthismoment,shecouldonlywishitontheothersideoftheworld,notherewithininchesofher,withthebumperofherhumbleFordPopular,thirdhand,lockedwiththepristinebeautyoftheRolls’ownsinglebumper.

ItsdriverwasgettingoutandEmmamadehastetodothesame,quiteforgettingthattheFord’sdoorhandleonhersidecouldbetemperamentalandhadtakenthatmomenttojamwhileshewasfiddlingwithit.Asshetuggedandpushedshehadplentyoftimetoobservethemanstrollingtowardsthem.Asmagnificentashiscar,shethought,eyeinghisheightandbreadthofshoulder,andherheartsankasshesawhishair,foritwasadark,richcopper,andredheadedpeoplewerenotoriouslynasty-tempered.Hermotherapparentlythoughtotherwise,forshesaidsoftly,‘Oh,Emma,whataremarkablyhandsomeman!’andEmma,crossbecauseshecouldn’tgetout,begantartly,‘Oh,Mother…’andwentonsilentlyfightingthedoor,which,tomakemattersworse,yieldedinstantlyundertheman’shand.

Shegotoutthen,allfivefootthreeofher,feelingalittlebetterbecauseshewasfacetofacewithhimeventhoughhereyeswereonalevelwithhistie.Shestudieditsrichsilkinessforalongmomentandthenliftedhergazetohisface.Hiseyes,shenoticedwithsomethingofashockweregreen,unexpectedlycool.Probablyhewasfurious;shesaidquicklyinherpleasantvoice,‘I’msorry,butIdon’tspeakDutch—itwasmyfault,’andsmiledwithreliefwhenheansweredherinEnglish.

‘Youwereonthewrongsideoftheroad.’Hespokecurtly,butEmmawassorelievedtohearherowntonguethatshehardlynoticeditandwenton,‘I’msogladyou’reEnglish,’andwhenhegaveherasuddensharplookandbarked‘Why?’ather,sheexplainedcheerfully:

‘Well,theDutchareawfullynice,butthey’renotvery—verylighthearted…’

Helaughednastily.‘Indeed?AmIsupposedtobelightheartedbecauseIhavebeenrunintobyacarelessgirlwhohasprobablydamagedmycar?Youareanappallingdriver.’

‘I’mnot,’saidEmmawithspirit,‘I’mquitegood,onlytheydriveonthewrongsideoftheroadandwhenIturnedthecornerIforgot—onlyforamoment.’Shereturnedtheicystarefromthegreeneyeswithacoolonefromherownhazelonesandaddedwithdignity:

‘Ofcourse,Iwillpayforanydamage.’Herheartsankasshesaidit;Rolls-Royceswereexpensivecars,doubtlesstheirrepairscostagooddealmorethanthelesserfryofthemotoringworld.Sheblinkedattheunpalatablethoughtthatshewouldprobablybefootingthebill—ininstalments—formonthsaheadandventureduncertainly:

‘Perhapsthedamageisn’ttoobad.’ThemanlookeddownanosewhichremindedherstronglyofWellington’s.

‘Probablyextensive,’hestatedevenly,hiseyesboringintohers.Emmadrewalongbreath—itwasn’tanygoodtryingtoguessatthecost;shethrusttheunpleasantthoughttothebackofhermindandremarkedpractically,‘Well,ifwecouldundothecarswecouldsee…’

Afaintconvulsionsweptoverthestranger’sface.‘Andhowdoyouproposeto—er—undothem?’Hisvoicewastoosmoothforherliking.Sheshothimadoubtfulglanceandthenwalkedpasthimtohavealook.ItseemedtoherthattheFordhadhadtheworstoftheencounter,foritsbumpersweredentedandtwistedandhookedundertheRolls’bumper.Emma,whoknewverylittleaboutcarsanyway,hopedthatitsenginewasallright.Shesaidnow,‘Ifwecouldliftyourcaroffmine…’

Theconvulsionreturnedbriefly.‘HaveyouevertriedtoliftaRolls-Royce,younglady?’Hisvoicewassilkyandwhensheshookherheadhewenton,stillverysilky,‘Youreallyarebird-witted,aren’tyou?’

Hehadcometostandbesideher,nowheliftedanelegantlyshodfootandgentlykickedthatpieceofbumperwhichtheFordhadwrappedroundtheRolls.ItfelltotheroadwithanapologeticclangandEmma,watchingitwithhermouthopen,didn’twaitforitslastrattlebeforesheburstintohotspeech.

‘Howdareyou—howdareyoukickmycar,justbecauseit’sold!’Shecouldhavebeenaccusinghimofkickinganoldladyfromherthrobbingaccents;hervoiceshookwithtemper;herquiteordinaryfaceseemedtohavetakenonamorevividsheen.Themanturnedtolookatheroncemore,intentlythistime,asifhewerestudyingsomethinghehadpreviouslyoverlooked.

‘Andhowdareyoudriveonthewrongsideoftheroad?’hequeriedmildly,‘anoffencewhichIfearinthiscountryisfrowneduponbythelaw.’

Asifsomedemongodhadbeenlisteningtohiswords,asmallwhitecarskimmedroundthebendoftheroad,madeasiftopassthem,andthenstopped.IthadthewordPolitiepaintedonitssidesandthefamiliarbluelamponitsroof,andifthatwasn’tenoughtoconvinceEmmathatDamocles’swordreallyhadfallen,itsdoorsopenedandtwolargesquaremenintheuniformoftheDutchpolicesteppedout,advancedwiththedeliberatestepoftheirkindandthenstoodtolookaboutthem.Afteraminuteoneofthemspoke,andEmma,supposingittobetheequivalentof‘Well,well,what’sallthis?’saidapologetically,‘I’msosorry,Ican’tunderstand…!’andthenturnedtothestranger.‘Doyouspeakthelanguageatall?’shewantedtoknow.‘Perhapsyoucouldmakethemunderstand.’

Helookedatherwithoutexpression.‘I’llseewhatIcando,’hetoldhershortly,andthenturnedtothetwopolicemenandbrokeintocrispspeech,notawordofwhichdidEmmaunderstand.Thepolicemencouldthough,theylistenedthoughtfully,inspectedhispapersandsmiledathimasthoughhewereanoldfriend.TheysmiledatEmmatooandthestrangersaid,‘Theywishtoseeyourlicence.’

Sheproduceditandthen,uponrequest,herpassport,andstoodpatientlywhiletheystudiedit,butherpatienceworealittlethinwhenthemanreceivedthepassportfromthepoliceandinsteadofhandingitbacktoher,hadagoodlookatithimself,therebycullingtheinformationthatshewasEmmaHastings,single,TheatreSisterbyprofession,hazel-eyedandbrown-haired,andthatshehadbeenbornatMutchleyMagnaintheCountyofDorsetonthefirstofMay,1945.Shelongedtotellhimhowgrosslyimpertinenthewas,butsincehehadapparentlysmoothedthingsoverwiththepolice,shedidn’tdare.

Hehandeditbacktoherwithoutawordandturnedtothepoliceoncemore,whowroteintheirnotebooksforawhileandthenlaughingwithhiminwhatsheconsideredtobeaquiteoffensivemanner,wenttoeasetheRollsawayfromhercarwhilethestranger,withoutsomuchasaglanceinherdirection,gotintotheFordandreversedituntiltherewasaspacebetweenthecars’bonnetsoncemore.Thisdone,thepolicesalutedherpolitely,madesomecheerfulremarktohercompanionandshotawayintheirlittlecar.AstheydisappearedroundthebendoftheroadEmmasaidaccusingly,‘You’renotEnglish—you’reDutch!Whydidn’tyousaysointhefirstplace?’

Thegreeneyestwinkledeventhoughhesaidgravelyenough:‘IimaginethatIwasn’tfeelinglightheartedenough.Itrustyouwillforgive

me?’Hewaslaughingatherbehindtheblandness.Shewentafieryredandsaid

stiffly,‘I’msorryIwasrude.Thankyoufor—for…’

‘Gettingroundthelaw?Thinknothingofit,younglady,althoughIfeelsurethatyouwouldhavemanagedverywellforyourself—ourpolicemen,whilebynomeanslighthearted,arekind.’Hisvoicewasmocking;EmmashothimalookofannoyancewhichheignoredashewalkedovertotheFordandleanedthroughitsopenwindowtospeaktohermother.Shestooduncertainlywatchinghimandlisteningtohermother’spleasant,stillyouthfulvoiceminglingwithhisdeepone.Presentlyhermotherlaughedandcalledfromthecar,‘Emmadear,docomehereaminute.’

Emmawent,reluctantyetdyingofcuriositytoknowwhattheyweretalkingabout.

‘Justfancy,’saidhermother,‘thisgentlemanknowsOudewaterverywell.IwasjusttellinghimthatweintendtobeweighedontheWitch’sScalesthereandperhapsspendthenight,andhetellsmethatthereisaverycomfortablelittlehotelthere.Wemightdobetterthanonenightandstayadayortwo—wecouldreachGoudaandSchoonhovenveryeasilyfromthere.’SheglancedatthestrangerforcollaborationandhesmiledwithacharmwhichEmmafoundstrangelydisquietingeventhoughthesmilewasdirectedathermother.

‘Youlikecastles?’heasked.‘YouhaveofcourseheardoftheperformancesofSonetLumièreatthecastleofWijkbijDuurstede?’HespoketoMrsHastingsanddidn’tlookatEmma.‘ItisonlyafewmilesalongtheriverfromSchoonhoven—youcouldperhapsvisitit;thereisapleasanthoteltheretoo—old-fashionedbutcomfortable,andtheserviceismostfriendly.’

‘Itsoundsjustthesortofthingwe’relookingfor,’exclaimedMrsHastings,andEmmasighedquietly;therereallywasnoneedforhermothertotakethismanintoherconfidenceasshewasobviouslygoingtodo.AmanwhodroveaRollsworthseveralthousandpoundsandworesilkshirtsandhand-tailoredsuitswasn’tlikelytobeinterestedinthesmallerhotelsinout-of-the-wayvillages;probablyhewasjustbeingpolite.Shecaughthermother’seyeandfrownedslightly,andthatladygavehertheinnocentround-eyedlooksheadoptedwhenshedidn’tintendtotakeanynoticeofherdaughter.‘We’vethreedaysleft,’explainedMrsHastings,‘andnotmuchmoney.’

‘Mother!’saidEmmainarepressivevoice,andavoidedtheman’samusedeyes.

Hermotherlookedunworried.‘Well,dear,’shesaidreasonably,‘anyonelookingatourcarcanseethatforthemselves,can’tthey?Besides,wearen’tlikelytomeetyouagain,arewe?’Shesmiledattheman,whosmiledbacksonicelythatEmmainstantlyforgavehimforlookingamused.Shelovedhermotherverymuch,butnowthatherfatherwasdeadhermotherneededsomeonetoprotectherfrommakingfriendswitheveryoneshemet.Shewentalittle

nearerthecarandsaidquietly,hervoicealittlestiff:‘Ifyouwillletmehaveyournameandaddress—sothatIcanpayyoufortherepairs…’

ShelookedsidewaysattheRollsasshespokeandcouldn’tseeanythingwrongwithitatall,butthatdidn’tmeantosaythattherewasn’tsomethingvitalandfrightfullyexpensivethatneededdoingunderitselegantbonnet.

He,itseemed,wasn’tgoingtogivehereitherhisnameorhisaddress.Hesaidmildly,‘I’llcontactyouthroughtheAAwhentherepairs,ifthey’reneeded,areready—thepolicehavealltheparticulars.’Andwhenhesawherworriedlook,‘No,they’lldonothingmore.Iexplained.Andnowallowmetomakesurethereisnodamagetoyourcarbeforeyouresumeyourjourney.’

Emmawentwithhim,topeerattheengineandwatchwhilehepulledatafewwires,which,shehadtoadmittoherself,shehadn’trealizedwereofanyimportanceatall,andturnedafewscrewswithlargehands—well-kepthands,shenoticed,withsquare-tippedfingers.Shetookagoodlookathisfacetooandsilentlyagreedwithhermotherthathewasindeedgood-lookinginaruggedway.Helookedupsuddenly,gaveheranothercoolstareandsaidunsmilingly,‘Trythelights,willyou?andthenswitchontheengine.’

Shedidasshewasbidandafteraminuteorsoheobserved,‘Everythingseemsallright—you’vegotawornplug,though.’

Hetookoutapocketbookashespokeandscribbledanoteandtoreoutthepageandhandedittoher.‘There’sagarageinOudewater,ontheleftoftheroadasyougointothetown.Givethistoanyonethereandtheywillputitrightforyou—it’sonlyatrifle,butitmaycausetroublelateron.’

‘Thankyou,’saidEmmapolitely,‘you’vebeenverykind.’Sheswallowedandwentonquickly,‘IapologizeforwhatIsaidabouttheDutch.Ilikethemverymuch.’

Hesmiledatherwithsuchenchantmentthatherpulsegalloped.‘Butyouwerequiteright;wearen’tlighthearted.Ihopeyouenjoytherest

ofyourholiday.’Henoddedinafriendlywayandwentbacktothecaragain,puthisheadthroughthewindowandwishedhermotheralongerandwarmergoodbye,thenhegotbackintohisowncarandsatwaitingforEmmatogo.Shedroveaway,ontherightsideoftheroadthistimeandwithoutlookingathim,althoughshewouldhavelikedtoverymuch.MrsHastings,havingnomixed-upfeelings,stuckherheadoutofthewindowandwaved.

WhentheyhadgoneamileorsoalongtheroadEmmastoppedthecarandinanswertohermother’sinquiringlook,saidsheepishly,‘Ijustwanttoseewhathe’swritten,’andopenedthenotehehadgivenher.Itwas,ofcourse,inDutch;evenifithadbeeninEnglishshedoubtedifshewouldhaveunderstoodawordofitsscrawledwriting;agoodthingperhaps,forhehadwritten:‘Givethiscara

quickoverhaulwithouttheyoungladyknowing.ChargeherforanewplugandI’llsettlewithyoulater.’ItwassignedwiththeinitialsJ.T.

Emmafoldedthepapercarefullyandputitbackinherpurseandhermothersaidthoughtfully,‘Hewasnice,thatman.Emma,whydon’tweknowanyonelikehim?’

Emma’sprettyeyestwinkled.‘DearMother,becausewedon’tmoveinthosecircles,dowe?Notanymore.’

‘Youlikedhim?’Emmachuckled.‘Mother,wespoketohimforabouttenminutes,andyou

didmostofthetalking.AsfarasIwasconcernedIwasn’tveryfriendlyandnorwashe.’

Hermothersighed.‘No,dear,Inoticed.Nevermind,perhapsweshallbumpintohimagain.’Shenoddedcheerfully,unawareofherunhappychoiceofwords.

‘Ohdear,Idohopenot,’saidEmma,andknewasshesaiditthattherewasnothingshewouldlikemorethantomeethimagain.Shesteeredthecarcarefullytotheothersideoftheroad.‘There’sthegarage,’sheremarked,gladtohavesomethingelsetothinkabout.

TheyoungmechanicsheaddressedinEnglishgrinnedanddisappearedtoreappearaminutelaterwithanoldermanwhosaid,‘Goodday,miss,’andwhenhehadreadthenoteshehandedtohim,lookedatherwithasmileandasked,‘Youstayatthehotel?’andwhenEmmanodded,wenton,‘DeWitteEngel—bythecanalinthecentrum,youcannotmiss.Theboywillcomeforthecar.OK?’

‘Oh,veryOK,’saidEmmawithrelief.‘IthinkIneedanewplug.’Themansmiledagain.‘Thatcomesinorder,miss.Makenotrouble.’Which

sherightlysurmisedtomeanthatshewasn’ttoworryaboutit.OudewaterwasratherlikegoingthroughadoorintoGrimms’FairyTales;

theroadwascobbledandnarrowandtherewas,inevitably,acanalsplittingitdownthemiddle,reflectingthegreatvarietyofgabledroofsoftheoldhousesliningit.Possiblybecauseitwassosmall,thelittletownseemedfullofpeople.Emmadrovecautiouslydownonesideofthecanal,crossedabridgeandwentslowlyuptheothersideuntilshereachedthehotel.Itwassmallanddarkandcoolinside,althoughthroughanopendooratthebackofthehallEmmacouldseetheMaysunshinestreamingontoasmallgarden.Therewasnoonetobeseen,buttherewerevoicesclearlytobeheardbehindseveralofthedoorsleadingfromthehall.Emma,obedienttoalargeplacardwhichrequested‘Bellen,SVP’,rangtheenormousbrassbellstandingbeneathit,andoneofthedoorsopenedandanelderlyman,notverytallbutimmenselythickthrough,appeared.

‘Weshouldliketostaythenight,’statedEmma,whowaseverhopefulthatthemanmightspeakEnglish.’Itwasareliefwhenhesaidatonce,‘Certainly,miss.Yourselfand…?’

‘Mymother.Howmuchisitforbedandbreakfast?’‘Twelveguldenandfiftycentseach,miss.Tworooms,perhaps?Wearenot

yetsobusy.’Heturnedroundwithsurprisinglightnessforsolargeamanandtooktwolargekeys,eachattachedtoachainwithabrassballonitsend.‘Youwouldliketoseethem?’

Theroomswereinthefrontofthehotel,overlookingthebustlingstreetanditscanal,andalthoughtheyweresparselyfurnishedtheywerespotlesslycleanwithwash-basinssqueezedintotheircorners.

‘Plumbing?’inquiredMrsHastings,wholikedherwarmbath.Theyfollowedthelandlorddownanimmenselylongpassagewhichendedinadoorwhichheflungopenwithaflourishtorevealanarrowtiledroomwithwhatappearedtobeawoodengardenseatupagainstonewallandabathshapedlikeacomfortablearmchair.‘Verynice,’saidEmmabeforehermothercouldcommentonthegardenseat.‘Wemaystaytwonights.’

Thelandlordnoddedandledthewaydownstairsagainandwhiletheyfilledintheircardsatthedesk,fetchedtheirbagsandtookthemupstairs.WhenhecamedownEmmainquiredhopefully:

‘Isupposewecouldn’thavetea?’‘Certainly,miss.’Hewavedahandlikeahaminthedirectionofthecoffee

room.‘Andperhapsaneveningmeal?’Whichseemedasplendididea;theladiesagreedwithouthesitationand

openedthecoffeeroomdoor.Itwasdark,justlikethehall,butinanoldandcomfortableway,with

windowsoverlookingthestreetandagreatmanylittletablesdottedaround.Therewerelargeupholsteredchairstooandabilliardtableinthemiddlewhichsustainedaneatlylaidoutcollectionofpapers.

Overteaandlittlewafer-thinbiscuits,theydiscussedtheirday.‘Averysatisfactoryone,’murmuredMrsHastings.‘Howmanymileshave

wedone,darling?’Emmasaidpromptly,‘Onlyaboutninety,butwedidUtrechtvery

thoroughly,didn’twe,andLeiden.IlikedLeidenandallthosedearlittlevillagesbetween.’

Hermotheragreedalittleabsentmindedly;shewasthinkingaboutsomethingelse.‘Doyousupposethatcarwasbadlydamaged,Emma?Iwasn’tverynear,butIcouldn’tseeamarkonit.’

‘NorcouldI,’Emmafrownedthoughtfully,‘andIdon’tquiteunderstand

whyhesaidweshouldhearthroughtheAA.ThattimeIbumpedintothosecows—youremember?—itwastheinsurancefirm,andI’msureyou’resupposedtoexchangenamesandaddresses.’

MrsHastingssaidbrightly,‘Well,heknowsours;Isawhimlookingattheluggagelabels.Isupposehe’llsendthebilltoyou.’Sheaddednotquitesobrightly,‘Shallwebeabletopayit?’

‘Ofcourse,’saidEmmasturdily,stiflingdoubts,‘itwon’tcomeforages,theyneverdo,anditwon’tbemuch.Don’tyouworryaboutit.’Shefrownedagain.‘Butwedidn’tseehimdriveaway,didwe?Supposinghecouldn’t.Perhapshe’sstillthere…’

‘Nonsense,’saidMrsHastings.‘Nowyou’reworrying;thatsortofcarneverbreaksdown.Let’sgoforawalk.’

Theyexploredthetownfirst,andthen,becauseitwassuchapleasantevening,strolledalongacountryroadwhichseemedtoleadnowhere.‘Apitywehavetogoback,’remarkedMrsHastings.‘It’sbeensuchalovelyholiday,Emmadear,andsosweetofyoutoletmetagalongwithyou.Youmighthavehadmorefunwithsomeoneofyourownage.’

‘Fiddlesticks,’saidEmmavigorously.‘I’velovedeveryminuteofit,too—I’mgladwechoseHolland,andifI’dgonewithsomeoneelsetheymighthavewantedtodothingsIdidn’twanttodo.We’veseenalot—besides,welikepokingaround,don’twe?’

Hermotheragreed.‘ShallwegotoGoudatomorrow?’‘Yes,andthedayafter,SchoonhovenandthenwecangotothatplaceWijk

somethingorother.There’senoughmoneyforustoseetheSonetLumièreatthecastle.WecangosouthfromthereintimetocatchthenightboatfromZeebrugge.’

‘Tendaysgosoquickly,’remarkedhermotheronasigh,‘butwithKittycominghome—anditwouldn’tbekindtoleaveheralone.It’sapityGregoryandSusancouldn’thaveher,butwithanewbabyinthehouse…’

‘Well,Icouldn’thavehadalongerholiday,anyway.SisterCoxishavingherfeetdoneassoonasIgetback.’

‘Poorthing,’saidhermother,andmeantit;shehadonlymetSisterCoxatHospitalfêtes,onwhichannualoccasionstheTheatreSuperintendentshowedonlythebettersideofhernature.‘Let’sgoback,I’mhungry.’

Theydinedatoneofthetablesinthecoffeeroomwithasprinklingofotherguestswhowere,however,notdiningbutdrinkingbeerorcoffeeandwhenthemoodtookthem,playingbilliardsaswell.Theygreetedthetwoladieswithfriendlinessandthen,withperfectmannersignoredthemwhiletheyate.ThefoodwasgoodalthoughlimitedinchoiceandEmma,whohadnoweight

problems,enjoyedeverythingshewasofferedandthensatbackwatchingtheplayerswhilesheandhermotherdranktheircoffee.Perhapsitwasbecauseofherobviousinterestinthegamethatshewasasked,inpeculiarbutunderstandableEnglish,ifsheplayedherself,andwhensheadmittedthatshedidandwasaskedifshewouldcareforagameshetookitassomethingofacompliment,forinnoneoftheotherhotelstheyhadvisitedhadsheeverseenawomanplaying.Shetookacueandgavesuchagoodaccountofherselfthattherewasalittleroundofapplausewhenthegamewasfinallyfinished,eventhoughshehadn’twon.Thinkingaboutitinherlittlebedroomlatershewonderedif,despitethelanguagedifficulty,sheshouldhavetoldthemthatshehadplayedwithherfatherforyearsbeforehedied,andwasconsideredsomethingofanexperteventhoughshewasn’twildlyenthusiasticaboutthegame.Shewentontowonder,fornoreasonatall,ifthemantheyhadmetthatafternoonplayedtoo;ifso,shewoulddearlylovetobeathim.Shesmiledatthesillinessofthethoughtasshewenttosleep.

TheywenttoGoudathenextdayandspentalongtimelookingattheTownHall,whichwasquaintandveryoldandbeinginthemiddleofthesquare,couldbeseenproperlybyjustwalkingslowlyroundit.TheywenttoSintJanskerktoo,becausetheguidebooktoldthemtoandwereverygladthattheyhadbecauseofitsquietspaciousnessandlovelystainedglasswindows.Whentheycameoutatlast,theywanderedoffintothelittlelanesandalleysarounditandstaredatthesmallancienthouses,huddledtogetherasthoughtosupporteachotherthroughthecenturies,andwhentheyfoundtheirwaybacktotheMarkt,theylunchedoffatremendouspancakeinarestaurantwhichlookedlikeaDutchinteriorpaintedbyPieterdeHoogh.Theyspentanhourexploringtherestofthelittletownandlookingatitsshopsandthengotintothecaragainanddrovethemileorsotothecomplexoflakesjustoutsidethetown,wheretheystoppedatacaféforcupsofmilklessteawhichtheydranksittingatalittletableoverlookingthewaterandadmiredtheboatsbowlingalongbeforethestiffbreezetheyhadcometoexpectinHolland.

‘Thecar’srunningwell,’remarkedMrsHastingsastheystartedback.‘Ihadnoideathatonenewplugcouldmakesomuchdifference.’

‘Yes,I’msurprised—it’salmostasthoughshe’sbeenover-hauled—it’ssurprisingwhatanewplugwilldo.Theyonlychargedfiveguldentoo.Imustgetthebumperfixedwhenwegethome.’Whichremarkledhertothinkofthestrangeragain.

ThenextdaytheytravelledthefewmilestoSchoonhoven,alongacharmingcountryroadwithlittletrafficuponitandawarmsunshiningdownontheflatgreenlandaroundthem,andspentthewholedaywanderinginandaroundthat

littletown.AgreatdealoftheirtimewastakenupwithavisittotheEdelambachthuisonitsmaincanal,watchingthesilversmithsforwhichtheplacewasfamousandsoenchantedwiththeirworkthattheyspentmorethantheycouldreallyaffordonsomesilverteaspoonsbecauseMrsHastingsdeclaredthemtobeexactlyrightfortheDresdentea-setshestillcherished.TheyparkedthecarinthetownandlunchedatthehotelontheedgeoftheriverandthencrossedbythenearbyferrytowalkalongthedykeonitsotherbankuntiltheyrememberedthattheystillhadtobeweighedontheWitch’sScalesinOudewater.Theywentbackthewaytheyhadcome,withthelittleriverrunningbesidetheroadthewholewayandthecarwindowsopentotheafternoonheatofthesun.Whentheygotbacktheyhadteaatthehotel,examiningtheirdiplomasguaranteeingthemimmunityfromawitch’sfieryendandthenmakingtheirplansforthefollowingday—theirlastday.

TheyleftOudewaterthenextdaywithregret.TheregretonMrsHastings’partwasforthecomfortsofthelittlehotelandthecheerfulbustleofthelittletown;Emma’swasforquiteanotherreason.ThefurthertheytravelledfromOudewaterthelesslikelyitwasthatshewouldeverseetheowneroftheRolls-Royceagain.

Theywentslowly,admiringthetrimlittlevillasastheywent;therewerebiggerhousestoo,notsoeasilyseenfromtheroad,butamileorsofromthetownEmmaslowedtheFordtoasedatepacesothattheycouldstaretheirfillatatallredbrickhousewithahandsomedoublestairleadinguptoitsmassivefrontdoorandrowsofenormouswindows.Itstoodinfullviewoftheroad,butwellbackfromit,andthebigirongateswhichledtoitstoodopen.

‘Mydear,thecurtains—itwouldtakemilesandmiles,’saidMrsHastings,andthen,‘I’dlovetoseeinside.’

Emmanodded.Thehouseattractedherinsomeway,itlookedalittleausterefromtheoutsideperhaps,butinsidesheimaginedthatitmightbeverybeautiful.Shesaidthoughtfully,‘Idaresaysomeofthecurtainsaretheoriginalonesputupwhenthehousewasbuilt.’

Hergazeshiftedtothegarden,veryformalandfullofcolour,andshecouldn’thelpbutcontrastitwiththesmallcottageinwhichhermotherlived,withitspockethandkerchiefofalawnatitsfrontandthesmallstretchofgardenbehind,probablyhermotherwasthinkingthesamething.Shepattedherparent’shandslyingonherlapandsaidcomfortingly,‘Nevermind,darling,thegardenathomeisverypretty.’Andtheysmiledateachother,rememberingthelovelygardentheyhadhadintheoldhouse,beforeherfatherdied.Emmamisseditstill;itwouldbeevenworseforhermother.Shetookafinallookandputherfoot,initsneatsandal,downontheaccelerator.

TheydawdledalongthedykeroadborderingtheLekandstoppedforapicniclunchbythewater,watchingthebargeschuggingtheirwayupanddownitsbroadwaterastheyate,andpresently,whentheyresumedtheirjourney,theycaughttheirfirstglimpseofthecastleastheyapproachedWijkbijDuurstede,itsroundredbricktowersstandingoutamongstthetrees,buttheminiaturetownitselftheydidn’tseeatalluntiltheyturnedofftheroadontoanarrowstreetwhichbroughtthemtoacobbledsquare,shadedbyenormoustreesandlinedwithtalloldhousesandahandfulofshops.Thehotelfacedthesquare;anoldbuildingwithabalconyoneithersideofitsdoorandcalled,ratherinappropriately,thoughtEmma,‘deKeizer’sKroon,’foritshomelyappearancehardlyjustifieditsroyaltitle.Butevenifthehotelwasn’troyal,theirwelcomewas.Theywentinside,straightintoavastroomwithabaratoneend,abilliardtableinthemiddleandanumberoftablesarounditswalls;mostofthesewerecoveredwiththelittlewoollenrugsEmmaratherliked,buthalfadozentableswerelaidfordinnerwithstarchedwhiteclothsandhighlypolishedsilverandglass.Standingproudlyamidthemwasthelandlord,alarge,genialmanwholistenedcarefullytoEmma’srequestforroomsandledthemthroughadoubledoorintoanarrowpassagewithanequallynarrowstaircase.‘Tworooms?’askedEmmahopefullyastheystartedtoclimb,thencametoanabrupthaltasheshookhisheadandbrokeintoregretfulDutch,holdinguponefingertoclinchhisargument,andthenbeckonedthemon.

Theroomwasatthebackofthehotel,withtwoenormouswindows,averyhighceilingandlargeenoughtohousethevastfurnitureinittwiceover.EmmastaredfascinatedatthebedwithitscarvedheadboardputtingherinmindoftheCoronationchairinWestminsterAbbey,greatlyenlarged,butthisawe-inspiringpieceoffurniturewasoffsetbyasmallbutmodernwashbasinandeverythingintheroomshonewithsoapandpolish,besideswhichthelandlord,ratherinthemannerofaconjurorproducingarabbitfromahat,flungopenadoorattheendofalittlepassagetodiscloseaverylargebathroomcontainingaverysmallbath.Theyagreedmosthappilytotaketheroomandpresently,whentheyhadtidiedthemselves,wentdownstairs,whereoveracupofteatheymadethelandlordunderstandthattheywantedticketsfortheSonetLumièreperformancethatevening.Itwasdisappointingwhenheshookhisheadandaftersomethought,said,‘Manypeople.’

‘We’llgoandseeanyway,’saidEmma.‘Perhapsthere’llbeacoupleofcancelledseats.’

Thecastlewasn’thardtofind,forthetownwassoverysmallanditsroadsfew.Therewasagateleadingtothegroundsaroundthecastlewithahutbesideitandamansittinginside,andwhenEmmaaskedaboutticketsshewas

delightedtohearthebeautifullypedanticEnglishwithwhichheansweredher.Sheexclaimedwarmly,‘Oh,howwellyouspeak,andhowniceforus,’andhesmiledandreplied,‘I’mtheschoolmasterhere,’asthoughthatexplainedeverything.

Emmasaidalittleanxiously,‘Theysaidatthehotelthatthereweren’tanyseatsleftfortonight.We’regoingbacktoEnglandtomorrowandweweretoldby—someonethatwereallyshouldseeit.’

Hestaredatherasshespoke;nowheaskedslowly,‘Someoneyoumet?’andwhenshenodded,wenton,‘ItjustsohappensthatIhavetworeturnedtickets.Howluckyyouare,ladies.’

Thepriceseemedverymodest,butperhapsitwasn’taverylavishaffair.Emmapaidupcheerfullyandafterafewminutes’talksheandhermotherwalkedthroughthegateway;itseemedagoodideatoseethecastlenowthattheyweresoclosetoit.Itwasanimpressivesight,eventhoughpartlyruined,andthetreesandshrubsarounditaddedtoitsimpressiveness.Theylookedtheirfill,andverypleasedwiththemselves,wentbacktothehotelfordinner.

Therewerequiteanumberofpeoplediningandevenmoredrinkingcoffee.Theysatinthewindoweatingasimplewell-cookedmealand,becauseitwastheirlastnightinHolland,drinkingaglassofwinewithit.Theperformancewastostartatnineo’clock,butlongbeforethenthelittletowncamealivewithcarsandbusloadsofpeople,andbythetimeEmmaandhermotherarrivedatthegatetothegrounds,therewasathrongofpeople.Ittookthemalittlewhiletofindtheirseats,butEmma,whohadaperseveringnature,showedtheirticketstoasuccessivenumberofpeopleuntiltheyatlengtharrivedatthem.Theyweregoodseats;themanatthegatehadn’texaggeratedwhenhehadtoldthemthattheywereinanexcellentposition.TheysatdownandEmmalookedaroundattheseaofstrangefaces.Notallstrangethough,forcomingtowardsthemwithanunhurriedstridewasthemanintheRolls-Royce.

Emma’sfirstreactionwasoneofpurepleasure,thesecond,satisfactionthatshehadputonthecoralpinksilkshirtwaister,anordinaryenoughgarment,butthecoloursuitedher,butitcouldhavebeenmud-colouredsackingforallthegooditdidher.Hisglancewasasbriefashispolitegreetingbeforeheaddressedhimselftohermother.ItwasthenthatEmmasawthathewasn’talone.

Amajesticmiddle-agedlady,beautifullycoiffuredandgowned,accompaniedhim,sodidatallwillowygirlwithglowinggoldenairandanoutfitwhichEmmawouldhavesacrificedhereye-teethtopossess.Heintroducedthemwithacoolcharmas‘Myaunt,MevrouwTeylingen,andSaskia,’whichdidnothingtoclearupthequestionastowhohewashimself.Themajesticladysmilednicely,shookhandsandsatdownbetweenEmmaand

hermother.HernephewtookaseatbesideMrsHastings,andSaskia,aftermorehandshaking,satbesidehim.‘Andthat,’thoughtEmma,sadlyputout,‘isthat.’

Itwashermotherwhoasked,‘Mayweknowyourname?Youhaven’ttoldus,youknow,’shesmiled.‘Idon’tknowwhatEmmacallsyou,butIthinkofyouasthemanwithredhair,andthatreallywon’tdo.’

Helaughed.‘Imustapologize.Teylingen,JustinTeylingen.’Hisvoicesoundedfriendlyenough,butEmma,fromwhereshesat,gottheimpressionthathehadbeenreluctanttotellthemandshecouldn’tbegintoguesswhy.Afterall,theywereleavingHollandinthemorning,andtheydidn’tevenknowwherehelived.Shewonderedifhermother,whohadnoinhibitionsaboutaskingquestions,wouldaskhimthattooandwatchedherframingthewordsonherlips,butMijnheerTeylingenmusthavebeenwatchingtoo,becausebeforehermothercouldgetthequestionoutheaskedheraquestionofhisownwhichpresentlyledtheconversationrightawayfromthesubject,andevenifMrsHastingshadbeencleverenoughtoslipherinquiryinagain,therewasnochancenow,fortheperformancehadbegun.

Itwasfascinating;Emmasatentrancedeventhoughshecouldn’tunderstandthewords,buttheprogrammehadanexplanationinEnglishanyway,andtowatchandlistenwasenough—besides,fromtimetotimetheauntwhisperedanexplanationortwowhichMrsHastingspassedontoEmmainaratherscampedfashion,butEmmahardlylistened.Shewasbackinthepast,herpleasantfaceenrapt.

Itwasovertoosoon.Shesatback,awareofthebustleofpeoplearoundherpreparingtogohome.

‘Youenjoyedit?”MijnheerTeylingenslidintotheseatjustvacatedbesideher,andEmmanodded.‘Lovely—justlovely,’shesaidinadequately,andsincehewassocloseanditwasreallythefirst—andlast?—opportunityofstudyinghim,tookagoodlook;olderthanshehadsupposed,eveninthelamplightshecouldseethathewasnearerfortythanthirty,despitethehairandthealertgreeneyes,paleintheuncertainmoonlight,andhisnosewasjustasshehadrememberedit—perhapsnotquitesoformidableasWellington’sbutcertainlyaverygoodcopyofit.Hismouthwasalittletoosternperhaps…

‘IhopeIcomeuptoexpectations,’saidMijnheerTeylingengently,andwhenshejumpedvisibly,‘That’swhatyouweredoing,wasitnot?Assessingmypoints?’Hesmiledwithrealamusement.‘Letmehelpyou.I’mforty,moreorless,myteethandmyhairaremyown,mynoseisanunfortunatefamilyappanage;Iamill-temperedattimes,fondofchildrenandanimals,likeprettygirlsandamusedtohavingmyownway.’

Emmablushedandwasgladthatthelightwaspoorenoughforittogo

unnoticed.Shebegan.‘I—I—thatis,Ididn’tmean…’Shecametoahalt,flustered.

‘Don’tapologize.Tellme,doyougohomewithyourmotherorreturntoyourhospital?’

Shewonderedhowitwasthathewasfamiliarwithherprofessionandthenrememberedthathehadlookedatherpassport.Feelingsheowedhimsomething,shereplied,‘IshalltakemymotherhomefirstandthengobacktoSouthampton,whereIwork.’

‘Youenjoyyourwork?’Shesupposedthathewasmakingconversation.‘Verymuch,’shesaid,and

wishedshecouldhavethoughtofsomethinginterestingtosay;normallyshewasbynomeanssotongue-tied;shefeltlikeayounggirl,uncertainandshy,andwonderedwhyheshouldhavesuchaneffectonher.Fortunatelytherewasnoneedtostrainherconversationalpowersanymore,forhisauntjoinedthem,toembarkonashortconversationupontheevening’sperformancebeforewishingEmmagoodbye.Saskiawishedhergoodbyetoo,casuallybutstaringatherthoughtfullyasshedidso.

MijnheerTeylingenmadehisfarewellswithacharmratherspoiltbyitsbrevity,andmarshallinghistwocompanionsbeforehim,disappearedintheoppositedirectiontotheoneinwhichEmmaandhermotherweretogo,withoutsomuchasabackwardglance.

Emma,withherarmtuckedintohermother’s,walkedbacktothehotellisteningtoherparent’sremarksabouttheeveningandaddingverylittleofherown.Nordidshehavemuchtosaylaterastheypreparedforbedinthelargeold-fashionedbedroom,althoughitseemedtoherthatMrsHastingsdweltwithunnecessarylengthonMijnheerTeylingen.Thefactthatsheherselfhadalmostnothingtosayonthesubjectdidnothingtoalterthefactthatlongafterhermotherwasasleep,herthoughtswerestillbusywithhim.

Theyleftthenextmorningandbegantheirjourneyhome,makingaleisurelytripsouthwardstoZeebrugge,andthenbecauseEmmalosttheway,havingtoracethelastfewmiles,tojointheendofthecarqueuewithonlyminutestospare.TheysleptonboardinacabintothemselvesbecauseEmmawantedtopushontoDorsetthemomenttheylandedandtherewasnohopeofgettinganyrestontheboatotherwise;itwascrowdedwithyoungandboisterousstudentsandalargepartyofelderlypeoplewhosang‘Kneesup,MotherBrown’,withagooddealofvigourandwithoutshowinganysignsofsettlingdownforthenight.

Theywerelastofftheboat,ofcourse,butstillsucceededingettingawaybeforeagoodmanyothercarsowing,declaredMrsHastingsvirtuously,totheir

honestfaces.‘TheCustomsmencouldalwaystell,’sheaddedsmuglyastheystartedonthelongtriphome.

CHAPTERTWO

EMMAwasinthetheatregettingreadyforthemorning’slist,whileSisterCox,theTheatreSuperintendent,stoodinthemiddleofthelargetiledapartment,watchingher.Emmahadbeenbacktwodaysanddespitethefactthathernicelittlefacestillborethelighttanshehadacquiredonhercreamyskinandthedustingoffrecklesshedespiseduponherordinarynose,herholidayinHollandalreadyseemedlikeapleasantdream.Shehadhadadayathomegettinghermothersettledinoncemore,organizingherownclothes,fetchingFlossiethespanielfromthekennelsandgettingKitty’sroomreadyforherreturnfrommedicalschoolbeforegettingthelittlecaroutoncemoreanddrivingherselfbacktoSouthamptontoplungeimmediatelyintothestrictroutineoftheatrework.Andforonceshehadwelcomedit,forwhatwastohavebeenaperfectlyordinaryholidayhadbeeninfactturnedintoadream—byMijnheerTeylingen,who,tohergreatannoyance,shewashavingthegreatestdifficultyindismissingfromherthoughts.Whichshehadtoldherselfrepeatedlyandsoberlywasridiculous;shewasnocallowschoolgirltoloseherhearttothefirsthandsomemanshemet,despiteherlackoflooks.Shewasneitherdullnordowdyandpossessedacharmwhichdidmoreforherthanallthegoodlooksintheworld;shehadneverlackedforboyfriendseventhoughtheirattitudetowardsherhadbeenofabrotherlynature,andshehadtwicerefusedoffersofmarriage,soitwasn’taquestionofbeingsweptoffherfeet.Itwasjust,sheadmittedtoherself,thathehadseemeddifferent.

Shesighedasshelaiduphertrolleys,andSisterCox,watchingher,sighedtoo,butforadifferentreason.Shewasacosy-lookingwoman,withblackeyeswhichappearedtohavenoexpressioninthem,butherdispositionwasbynomeanscosy.Theregulartheatrestaffdidtheirworkandkeptoutofherway;thestudentnurses,senttodotheirthreemonths’stintintheatre,trembledandshookforthewholeofthatperiod,countingthedaysuntiltheycouldgetawayfromherdespoticrule.Emma,however,despiteherquietmanner,hadadispositioneverybitastoughasSisterCox.Shehadworkedwithherfortwoyearsnowandwascompletelyunworriedbythatlady,bearingwithequanimityherbadtemperwithoutapparentill-effectsandtakingcarenottopassanyofitontothejuniornurses.ItwaspossiblybecauseofthisthattheTheatreSuperintendentoccasionallyshowedherhumanside,somethingshewasdoingnow.‘Two

months,’shewassayinginavoicewhichbodedillforsomeone,asEmma,havingarrangedhertrolleystoanexactnicety,proceededtolaythemupwiththeinstrumentsinthewirebasketsbroughtfromtheautoclave.‘He’lleatyoualiveinaweek.’

‘Morefoolhe,’saidEmmawithcalm,andlaidtworibraspatoriesneatlysidebyside,‘forthenhe’llhavenooneintheatreatall,willhe?Don’tworry,Sister,I’llnotbegobbledupbysomebad-temperedsurgeon—thoughonlyrumoursayshe’sbad-tempered,doesn’tit?Anyway,thelongeryouleaveyourtoes,theworsethey’regoingtoget.’

SisterCoxlookeddownatherfeetintheirhideouslywideshoesneededtoaccommodateherhammertoes.‘You’reright,’shesaid,hervoicesoundingcrossaswellasresigned.‘I’lltakethefirstcase,youtakethesecond;Staffcanlayupforthethirdwhilewe’rehavingcoffee,andforheaven’ssakekeepthatgreatfoolJessopfromundermyfeet.WhatpossessedMatrontosendherhere…’Shestartedforthetheatredoors,stilltalkingtoherself,andEmma,standingbacktosurveythefirstofhercompletedtrolleyswithallthesatisfactionofahostessdeckingherdinnertable,askedidly,‘What’sthishorror’sname,anyway—theonewho’sgoingtoeatme?’

SisterCoxrotatedherchubbyformslowlytofaceEmma.‘He’saforeigner—brilliantatchestsurgery,soI’mtold,butI’llhavetoseeitfirst.’Shesnorteddisdainfully.‘He’sgotsometechniqueorother—name’sTeylingen.’Sheturnedbacktothedoor,sayingasshewent,‘Redhair,soIhear,soyou’dbetterlookout,youknowwhattheysayaboutredhairandbadtemper.’

Emmastoodquitestill,lookingastonished.Itcouldn’tbethesameman;ontheotherhand,whyshouldn’titbe?Andifitwas,whatwouldhesaywhenhesawheragain?SheshookoutthesteriletowelforhersecondtrolleyandholdingitbyitscornerswiththeCheatlesforcepsflippeditopenwiththeeaseoflongpractice,allowingittofallpreciselyonthetrolleybeforebeginningthetaskofarrangingyetanothersetofinstrumentsuponit.Thisdonetohersatisfaction,shecoveredherhandiworkwithanothersterilecloth,tookoneall-seeinglookaroundthetheatreandleftit,castingoffhergownasshewentalongtothetinykitchen.Heretherestofthestaffweregathered,drinkingasmuchcoffeeastheyhadtimeforandwolfingdownbiscuitswithanairofnotknowingwheretheirnextmealwouldcomefrom.TheygottotheirfeetasEmmawentinandshesaidatonce,‘No,don’tgetup—you’llneedyourfeetthismorning.Staff,willyouscrubintimetolayupforthethirdcase?—It’stheoesophagectomy—I’llbetakingit.’

StaffNurseCollins,asmalldarkgirlwithlargebrowneyesinaprettyface,saidsimply,‘ThankGodforthat,Sister.MadMinnieseemsdeterminedtohate

thisprofessortypebeforehe’sevengothisnoseroundthedoor.She’sascrossastwosticksalready,she’llbereallyrattybythetimethemorning’shalfover.’

‘SisterCoxispreoccupiedwithherfeet,’saidEmmaquietly,notwantingtosnubStaff,whomsheliked,butmindfulthatshereallymustn’tallowthenursestocalltheTheatreSuperintendentMadMinnie—notinherhearingatanyrate.Sheturnedherattentiontotheothertwonurses.‘Jessop,countswabsforthefirstcase,please’—thatwouldkeepthepoorgirloutofSisterCox’sway—’and,Cully,youseetolotionsandtakethebitswhenthey’reready.’SheturnedbacktoJessop,alargegirl,naturallyclumsyandrenderedmoresobyMadMinnie’svendettaagainsther,butwho,inEmma’sopinion,hadthemakingsofagoodnurseifonlyshecouldstopherselffromdroppingthingsandfallingoveranythingwithinamileofherawkwardfeet.Emmasmiledathernowandsaidencouragingly,‘Thethirdcasewillbealongone,NurseJessop.Ishallwantyoutokeepmesupplied,andbereadytofetchanythingImayneed.You’dbettercountswabsforthesecondcasetoo,andbeverycareful,won’tyou,becauseIoftengetthetotalwrong.’

WhichwasagreatpieceofnonsensebutservedtoinflateJessop’ssadlyflattenedego.SheleftthemwithalittlenodandanothersmileandwentunhurriedlydownthepassagetotheofficewheresheandSisterCoxwrestledwiththeoff-duty,thestores,thesuppliesoftheatreequipmentandthelaundryandfromwheretheTheatreSuperintendentblasted,bytelephone,thevariouswardsisterswhohadn’tconformedtoherwishesconcerningthearrivalanddepartureofthevariouscaseswhichhadbeensentupforoperation.Occasionallyoneofthesisters,fumingoversomenewruleMadMinniehadimposedwouldcometearingin,tospendatempestuoustenminutesintheofficebeforeEmma,ifshewasonduty,calmedthetwoladiesdownwithtea.

Theofficewassmall;itwasalsocrowded.SisterCoxwassittingatthedesk,lookingmoreorbicularthanever,andmostoftheremainingspacewastakenupbythefourmenwithher.MrSoames,theseniorconsultantsurgeonoftheunit,wasleaningagainstthedesk,apparentlyunawareofSisterCox’scrosslooksatthepileofpapershehaddisarrangedindoingso.WithhimwerehisseniorRegistrar,WilliamLunn,sixfoottwoinchestallandnaturallyenoughknownthroughoutthehospitalasLittleWilly,andthesenioranaesthetist,MrCyrilBone,middle-aged,anattydresserandknowntochatupthenurseswheneverhehadtheopportunitytodoso—hewasalsoverygoodathisjobandpopularwitheveryone,evenSisterCox,whomhecouldbutterupinthemostextravagantfashion.ThefourthmanwastheowneroftheRolls-Royce,whodominatedthescenebyreasonofhisheightandsizeandautocraticnose,nottomentionthebrillianceofhishairandtheeleganceofhisdressandthisdespitethefactthathe

managedtoconveytheimpressionthathewasofaretiringdisposition.Emma,standingjustinsidethedoor,wasawareofallthiswithouthavingactuallylookedathim,shewasalsoawareofanalarmingpulserate.ItwasMrSoames,wholikedher,whosavedherfrommakinganypossiblefoolishandimpulsiveremarkbysayingatonce,‘Ah,Emma,meetProfessorTeylingenfromUtrecht.He’shereforacoupleofmonthstoshowussomenewtechniqueswhichIthinkweshallallfindinteresting.’

Emmaadvancedtwocautiousstepsandheldouthersmallcapablehand.‘Howdoyoudo?’sheaskedpolitely,andadded‘Professor,’hastily.

Hetookherhandbriefly.‘Howdelightfultomeetyouagain,Sister,’heremarkedinsuchamildvoicethatshegavehimafaintlystartledlook,tofindthegreeneyesstaringintoherswithamostdecidedtwinkle.‘Ihavebeenlookingforwardtothis,’hewenton,‘eversincewemetinHolland,’andexplainedtotheroomatlarge,‘Yousee,wearealreadyacquainted,’whichremarkwasmetwithachorusof‘Oh,really?’and‘Howextraordinary!’achorustowhichEmmadidn’taddhervoice,beingfartoooccupiedinrestoringhercalm.Itwasonlywhensherealizedthatfivepairsofeyeswerewatchingherthatshemanagedweakly:

‘Yes,it’sasmallworld,isn’tit?’andfollowedthisprofoundremarkwithamorebusinesslikeonetotheeffectthatthetheatrewasready.

ProfessorTeylingensaidatonce,‘Splendid.Ilookforwardtoamostinterestingmorning.’HesmiledatSisterCoxashespokeandtoEmma’ssurprisethatformidableladysmiledbackandgotoutofherchairwithashowofwillingnessquiteunusualtoher.Probablytheoldbattleaxewasholdingherfireuntiltheygotintothetheatre,wheretheprofessorwouldonlyhavetoaskforsomethingsheeitherhadn’tgotordidn’twant,forhertoflattenhim.EmmatooktheopportunitytolookathimashestoodtalkingtoLittleWilly—no,hewouldn’tbeeasilyflattened;itwouldremaintobeseenwhowouldcomeoffbest.Sheslidawayfromtheoffice,putonhertheatrecapandmaskandwenttosendthenursesintotheatre.Shefoundthembunchedtogetherintheanaestheticroomandsaidurgently,‘Forheaven’ssake—he’sabouttoscrubup!’

‘Notbeforehe’smettherestofthetheatrestaff,’interposedtheprofessor’svoicefromthedoor,andshewheeledroundtoencounterasmilewhichthrewherquiteoffbalance.

‘Ohwell—yes,’shebeganinadequately,andthenbecomingveryprofessionalindeed,‘ProfessorTeylingen,mayIintroduceStaffNurseCollins,NurseJessopandNurseCully—wehaveanursingauxiliarytoo,butshe’snotondutyuntilthisafternoon,andtwotechniciansandtheporters.’

Hesaidwithalittlesmile.‘Yes,ImetthemyesterdayeveningwhenIcame

roundwithMrSoames.Ifeelsureweshallenjoyworkingtogether.’Thesmilebecamebrilliantashewentaway,closingthedoorquietlybehind

him.Jessopspokefirst.‘Golly,Sister,he’ssmashing—hedoesn’tlookbad-

temperedeither—theysaidhewas.’Hertoneofvoicesuggestedthatifanyonethoughtotherwisetheywouldhavetosettlewithherfirst.AndCully,whowasalittleolderandalittlewiser,observed,‘He’squiteold,isn’the,butitdoesn’tnotice—itmakesthemedicoslooklikeschoolboys.’AndStaff,whowasengagedtobemarriedandshouldhaveknownbetter,asked,‘Ishemarried?’

‘I’venoidea,’saidEmmacalmly,‘andsincehe’sonlyhereforacoupleofmonthsanddoesn’tliveinEngland,thereisn’tmuchpointingettingturnedon,isthere?’Sheaddedinaquietlyseverevoice,‘Nowintotheatreallofyou,please—Sisterwillwantusalltogiveagoodimpression.’Shepausedasshewent.‘AndNurseJessop,dotrynottodropanything.’

ThefirstcasewasalengthyoneandMrSoamesdiditwiththeprofessorassistingandLittleWillymakinghimselfuseful.Itwastherepairofahiatusherniawhichinvolvedapartialgastrectomyandsomeexcisionoftheoesophagus.MrSoameswasgoodatit;hedidagreatmanyweekafterweek,andbeingfamiliarwithhisworkwascompletelyrelaxed—aswastheprofessor.Thetwoofthemtalkedastheyworked,frequentlyincludingLittleWillyandMrBoneintheirconversation,andevenSisterCox,whodidn’tagreewithtalkingintheatreunlessitwasstrictlybusiness,sothatheranswerswereshortandalittlesnappy.

‘Youdon’tlikeconversationintheatre,Sister?’askedtheprofessorathismildest.Sheshothimadarklingglanceoverhermask.

‘No,sir,Ican’tsayIdo,’shesaidhuffily.‘We’reheretowork.’ShesnappedherCheatlesangrilyaboveherheadandEmma,interpreting

theirclatter,noddedtoCullystandingreadywithherreceivertotakewhatMrSoameshelddanglingfromhisforceps.Heflungitlightly,forcepsandall,inhergeneraldirectionandshecaughtitwithadexteritywhichwouldhavedonejusticetoafirst-classcricketerinaTestMatch,anddisappearedinthedirectionofthesluice,acknowledgingMrBone’sthumbs-upsignwithasoundlessgiggle.Theprofessor,withoutlookingupfromthelittlebitofsewinghewasengagedupon,remarked:

‘Imustcomplimentyouuponyourdexterousstaff,SisterCox,’andwhenshegaveanimpatientgrunt,wenton,‘IhopeIshallnotputyououttoomuchwhileIamhere.IfindIworkmuchbetterifthereisacertainamountoftalk.Itisrelaxing,youknow—sovitaltoourwork,doyounotagree?’

EmmacouldseebythelookonMadMinnie’sfacethatshehadnowishto

agreebutfeltitexpedienttodoso.Afterall,thewretchedmanwasimportant,thoughwhytheyhadtobringforeignersintothecountrytoteachthemsomethingtheycoulddobettershedidnotknow.Emmareadhersuperior’smindlikeanopenbookandsuppressedasmileasSisterCox’seyeswidenedastheprofessorwenton,‘Idaresayyoufinditmostvexingtohavetoputupwithaforeignerforevenashorttime.I’msorrytohearaboutyour—er—feet.Itakeittheoperationistobequitesoon?’

Shelookedasthoughshewouldexplode.‘Intwodays’time,’shehandedhimagrooveddirectorwhichheacceptedpolitelyanddidn’tuse.‘You’llhavetomanagewithSisterHastings—bythetimeI’mbackyou’llbegone.’Hertoneimplied‘andagoodriddancetoo’.

‘Regrettably,’saidProfessorTeylingengently,‘butIamsureyouroperationwillimproveyouineveryway,SisterCox.’

MrSoamesmadeamuffledsoundbehindhismaskandMrBoneandLittleWillydealtwithsuddencoughsandthenurses,whohadtherestofthedaywithSisterCoxtoface,savedtheirgigglesuntiltheycouldgetdowntothedining-room,wheretheywouldrecounttheconversationwordforword,togetherwithathoroughdescriptionofthehandsomeMrTeylingen.

Theprofessoracceptedanotherneedleandgutintohisneedleholderandbegantostitchwiththefinickyconcentrationofaladyofleisureworkingatherpetitpoint,whileEmmanoddedtoStafftogoandstartscrubbing,readytoretiretoonecornerofthetheatreandlayupforthenextcase.Theprofessor,shenoted,wasameticulousworkerbutafastone,somethingwhichhechosetodisguiseunderadeliberatemannerwhichcouldbedeceiving.Hehadalso,toconfoundrumour,remainedperfectlygood-temperedthroughoutthelengthyoperation,thoughtherehadbeennothingtoarousehisire—nodroppeddressings,nolotionsplashedonthefloorbyJessop’stooquickhand;nothinginfacttospoilthecalmofthetheatre’satmosphere,onlyMadMinnie’startness,ofcourse.Emmahadgotsousedtoherthatshehadratheroverlookedthefactthatastrangercomingintotheircircleforthefirsttimemightfindherashadedictatorial.Shepickedupthedressinglyingreadyunderthetrolleyandarrangeditcorrectlyaroundandoverthedrainsandtubeswhichthetwosurgeonshadstitchedintothepatientwithallthecareofadressmakerstitchinginazip,awareasshedidsoofthecloseproximityoftheprofessortoher.

Theyhadcoffeeattheendofthecasewhilethenursesbustledaroundtheatre,readyingitforthenextcase,andStaff,sterileingownandgloves,waitedpatientlybyhertrolleys.Theoffice,thoughtEmma,washardlytheplaceforthesocialdrinkingofcoffeebyfivepeople.ShepercheduneasilyonthesecondchairwhileSisterCoxsatbehindthedesk,lookingmurderous,andthe

menloungedagainstthewalls,drinkingcoffeefartoohotandeatingbiscuitswithalltheenthusiasmofschoolboyswhiletheydiscussedthecasetheyhadjustfinished.Thatthetalkwashighlyinappropriatetothedrinkingofcoffee,orforthatmatter,thedrinkingoreatingofanything,didn’tworryEmmaintheleast;forseveralyearsnowshehadreconciledherselftotakingherrefreshmenttotheaccompanimentofvividdescriptionsofanynumberofunmentionablesubjects.Nowshelistenedwithinterestwhiletheprofessorexplainedwhyhehadfoundhismethodofperformingthenextoperationsosatisfactory—somethingwhichhedidwithanicelackofboasting.Shewentawaywhenshehadfinishedhercoffeeandstartedtoscrubupandwasalmostreadywhenthethreemensaunteredintojoinheratthesinks.

‘Takingthecase?’inquiredtheprofessoridly,andwhenshehadsaidthatyes,shewas,sheadded,‘Arethereanyparticularinstrumentsyouprefertouse,sir,oranyyoudislike?’

Hegaveherathoughtfullook.‘Veryconsiderateofyou,SisterHastings.Ilikeabladeandabladeholder—always.IlikeMacdonald’sdissector,ItakeasizeninegloveifyouhavethemandIpreferHibutanesolution.Thereisnoneedtobotheraboutthesetoday,thoughIshouldbegratefuliftheglovescouldbechanged.’

Emmasaid,‘Yes,sir,’andwentintotheatre.ShesentStaffforthecorrectsizeandstoodquietlywhileCullytiedherintohergownandthenopenedtheglovedrumsothatshecouldtakeherownsizesixes.Theoperationwouldbealongone—theremovalofanoesophagusinapatientwithcancer;themanwasstillyoungenoughtomaketheoperationworthwhile,severethoughitwas,andasithadbeendiagnosedingoodtime,therewaseverychanceofsuccess.Shewentwithouthastetohertrolleysandbeganthebusinessofcountingswabsandsponges,threadingneedlesandcheckingtheinstrumentsbeforemakingsurethatallthecomplicatedmachineryneededwasinpositionandthatthetechnicianswereready.SisterCoxwasn’tintheatre;shehadgonetoseetheorthopaedicsurgeonaboutherfeet,sothattheatmosphereofthetheatrewasagooddeallighterthanithadbeen,althoughtherewasnolet-upinthestrictroutine.EmmareflectedthatitwasnicetoseeCullyandJessopsorelaxed,andJessop,bysomemiracle,hadn’tdroppedanythingatall.

ThepatientwaswheeledinwithMrBoneathisheadandpropellinghisanaesthetictrolleywithhim.HewinkedatEmmaastheportersarrangedthepatientonthetableandshereturnedthewink,fortheyhadbeenfriendsforseveralyearsandindeedshewasoneofthefewwhoknewthathiswifehadbeeninanursinghomeforyearsandwasveryunlikelytocomeoutofit—awifewhomhedearlyloved.Thethreesurgeonswalkedinandbehindthem,Peter

Moore,thehouseman,whowascomingtowatch.Peterwasyoungandawkward,verycleverandjustaboutasclumsyasNurseJessop.Emmaheavedasighasshesawhim,forifJessopdidn’tdosomethingawful,hecertainlywould.

Shehandedthesteriletowelsandwatchedwhilethesurgeonsarrangedthemwithmeticulouscareandthenfastenedthemwiththetowelclipsshehadready.Theprofessoraskedplacidly,‘Iseverythingfixed,Sister?’—aquestionsheknewcoverednotonlytheactualoperationitselfbutthepatient’simmediateaftercareaswell.Shesaidbriefly,‘Yes,sir,’andprofferedaknife.

Hetookitwithouthaste.‘Good—Itakeitwe’reallready,’andmadeaneatincision.

Theoperationseemedtobegoingverywell.TheprofessordissectedandsnippedandprobedandcutagainandafteralongtimeheandMrSoamesstartedtostitchtheendresultstogether.Theywereperhapshalf-waythroughthisdelicate,veryfastprocesswhenJessop,abouttochangethelotioninthebowlstandbesidetheprofessor,madeoneofherclumsymovementsandlurchedagainsthim,pouringajugfulofwarmsalineoverhislegs,andforgoodmeasure,touchinghimwithherhand.Emmaprayedawordlesslittleprayerasshesaidcalmly:

‘Anothergownfortheprofessor,Staff.NurseCully,fetchanothersetofbowls.MrMoore,begoodenoughtostaybymeincaseIshouldneedanything.’ShehandedatetraclothtoMrSoames,andtheprofessor,afteroneshort,explosivesentenceinhisownlanguage,stoodbackfromthetablesothatStaffcouldtakehisunsterilegown.HenoddedtoMrSoamesbeforehewenttoscrubagainandMrSoamessaid,‘Right,oldchap,WillandIwillcarryon,shallwe?’

Nooneelsehadsaidanything—whatwastheretosayatsuchatime?PoorJessop,quiteovercome,hadfledoutofthetheatre,andEmmahadlethergo,forshewouldbeworsethanuselessnow,andagoodwholesomecryinthekitchenwouldrestorehernervemorequicklythananythingelse.

ProfessorTeylingencamebackpresentlyandStaffwithhimtorelieveanuneasyMrMoore,andtheoperationwasfinishedwithoutfurthermishapwiththementalkingamongthemselvesinadeliberate,calmmannerwhichEmmafeltsurethatintheprofessor’scasewasassumed,forshecouldsensehisrage,wellbatteneddownunderhisblandexterior,andfeltsurethatoncehehadfinishedhisworkhewouldmakenobonesaboutunleashingit.

Hedid,butnotimmediately.ThepatienthadgonebacktotheICUnit,thetheatrehadbeenclearedandgotreadyforthenext,luckilyshortcaseandEmmawasscrubbinguponcemorebeforeheappearedbesideher.Hewastednotimeonpreliminaries,but,‘Sister,youwillbegoodenoughtoseethatNurseJessopremainsoutofthetheatrewhileIaminit.Iwillnothavemypatients’lives

jeopardizedbyanursewhocannotdoherworkproperly.’Hepickedupanailbrushandgaveheracoldlook.‘PerhapsIshouldspeaktoSisterCox.’

‘Don’tyoudare!’saidEmmabeforeshecouldstopherself,andthenrememberingwhohewasadded,‘Sir,’andsawhislipstwitchfaintly.

‘Noone—Irepeat,noone,SisterHastings—tellsmewhatImaydaretodoornottodo.’

Nowshehadmadehimevenmoreangry.PoorJessop!‘Listen,’shesaidearnestly,quiteforgettingtosaysirthistime,‘don’ttellMadM…SisterCox.Youseeshe’s…shedidn’twantNurseJessophereinthefirstplaceandsoshethinksshe’snogood,andJessop’sscaredstiffofher.Iknowshe’sclumsyandslow,butifshe’sgivenachanceshe’llbeagoodnurseoneday.Giveherthatchance,I’llkeepheronswabcountingifyoulike…butifonlysomeonewouldtellhershe’snotafool.’Shesighed.‘Peoplearesostupid,’saidEmmaindignantly,andglaredathimoverhermask.

‘AndIamincludedamongstthese—er—stupidpeople?’Hesoundedinterested.

Her‘Yes’wasamumble.Shehadgotherselfintoafinemess.ProbablyhewouldrequestMadMinnietokeepheroutofthetheatretooandthatwouldleaveonlyStafftoscrub…andservehimright.Shebegantoscrubtheotherhandwithherusualthoroughnessandhadthebrushtakenfromherashetwistedherroundtofacehim.

‘Idon’tseemtobestartingoffontherightfoot,doI?’heaskedmildly.‘Idon’tmakeahabitofmakinggirlscry,youknow—butthepatientcomesfirst,don’tyouagree?Wouldithelpifweweretogoandfindthisnurseandendeavourtocalmherdown?Yousaysheisgoingtobeagoodnurse—whoamItodisputeyouropinion?’

TheyfoundJessopinthekitchen,squeezedbehindthedoorwithreddenedeyesandadeplorablesniff.Emmasaidatonce,‘Ah,thereyouare,Jessop.Ishallneedyouintheatreinaminuteortwo,sostopcryinglikeagoodgirl.Noone’sangry—here’sProfessorTeylingentotellyouso.NowI’mgoingtoscrubandwhenprofessorgoestoscrubtoogointotheatreandmakesureeverything’sready,willyou?’

Shewalkedaway,leavinghimtodealwiththesituation,andpresentlywhenshewentintotheatre,evincednocuriosityastowhathehadsaidtoJessop,whowasstanding,gownedandmasked,waitingforher.Theoperationwastobeacomparativelysimpleone.Thepatienthadsufferedastabwoundsomeweekspreviously,hadrecoveredfromit,andnowwasbackinhospitalwithanempyema.Nowhewasgoingtohaveaninchorsoofribremovedandadrainagetubeinserted—afairlyquickoperationwhichJessopshouldmanageto

getthroughwithoutdoinganythingtooawful.Emmacountedherswabs,signedtoJessoptotiethesurgeon’sgowns,checkedthecontentsoftheMayo’stableandhandedthefirstofthesteriletowelstoLittleWilly.

AquarterofanhourlatershewasclearingupherinstrumentsoncemoreandJessopwascarefullyunscrewingthesuckerjar.Themen,withabriefword,hadgone,StaffandCullywouldbebackintwentyminutesorsoandMrsTate,theauxiliary,wouldbeondutyinacoupleofminutes.Emmaputthelastoftheinstrumentsintooneofthelotionbowlsandsaid,‘Allright,Nurse,you’reoffatone,aren’tyou?MrsTatecanfinishthat,’andbenttodohersharpsasJessopsaid:‘Thankyou,Sister,’andploughedherwaytothedoor,narrowlyavoidingtwoelectriccablesandabucket,andthenturnedroundandploughedallthewaybackagain.‘He’slovely,Sister,’shebreathed.‘Hetoldmethatwhenhewasamedicalstudentheforgothewasscrubbedupandturnedonthediathermymachineandeveryonehadtowaitwhilehetookoffhisgownandhisglovesandscrubbedupagainandonhiswaybackhetouchedthesurgeon’sgown.Hesayshe’sneverforgottenit,andhesaid,’shewentonrapidly,‘thatyouhavetodosomethingawfullikethatjustonceandthenyouneverdoitagain,soI’mnottoworry.’

ShelookedratherimploringlyatEmma.‘Heisright,isn’the,Sister?’‘Yes,’saidEmmafirmly,‘he’squiteright,andhe’sbeenverykindtoo—you

realizethat,don’tyou?Youcouldhavedonealotofdamagetothepatient.SupposingProfessorTeylingenhadjerkedhishand—hewasstitching,remember?’

Jessoplookedcrestfallen.‘Yes,Iknow,Sister.I—IthoughtIhad—that’swhyIranaway.I’msorryIdid.HesaidImustneverrunawayagainbecausewe’reateamandwecan’tmanagewithouteachother.Ithought…thatis,SisterCoxsaidIwasanuisance…’

Emmastartedontheneedles.‘No,you’renot—you’lldoquitewell,especiallyifyourememberthatbitaboutoneofateam.AndremembertoothatSisterCoxhashadalotofpainwithherfeetandshe’sbeenintheatresolong,she’sforgottenjustalittlehowdifficultitisatfirst.’Shesmiled.‘Nowgooffduty,Nurse.’

Jessopwenttothedooragain.Atitshesaid,‘Goodbye,Sister—you’renice.’

Andlet’shopeIstaythatway,thoughtEmma,anddon’tgetlikeMadMinnie.Theprospectwasdaunting;sheclosedhermindtoitandbegantothinkaboutLittleWilly’sinvitationtogowithhimtoseethelatestfilmthatevening.Theyhadbeenouttogetheronseveraloccasions,butalthoughshelikedhim,thatwasasfarasitwentandshesuspectedthatitwasasfarasitwentwithhim

too.Shesupposedshewouldgo,andalongwiththethoughtcameaspeculativeoneastowhattheprofessorintendedtodowithhisevening,andwherehewasliving,andwithwhom.

IntheSisters’dining-room,whereshewentashorttimelater,shewasgreetedwithexpectantfacesandagreatmanyquestions.

‘Youluckydevil,’remarkedoneofhercloserfriends,MadgeFreemanfromMen’sSurgical.‘Isawhiminthedistancethismorning—thathair—andhissmile!’Shegroanedinatheatricalmanner.‘Atrendydressertoo.What’shelike,Emma?’

Emmalookedresignedlyatthecoldmeatonherplateandhelpedherselftotwolettuceleavesandaradish.‘Veryneatworker,’shestated.‘He’sheretodemonstratehistheoryabout…’Shewasstoppedbyaconcertedhowlfromhercompanions.

‘Cutitout,Emma,’oneofthembegged.‘Whocaresabouthistheories?Ishemarried—engaged?What’shisvoicelike?Doeshespeakwithanaccent?Ishe…?’

Emmapeeredatthepotatoes;beinglate,therewasn’tmuchchoice.‘Cold,’shepronounced,‘andhard,’andseeingtheastonishmentonherfriends’faces,hastenedtoadd,‘Thepotatoes,andit’snogoodaskingme.Idon’tknowathingabouthim,Ireallydon’t.He’sgotgreeneyes,’sheofferedasanafterthought,‘andadeepvoice.’

‘Darkbrownvelvetorgravelly?’someonewantedtoknow.‘Abitofboth,’saidEmma,havingthoughtaboutit,‘andhe’sgotalmostno

accent.’Sheappliedherselftoherdinneramidcriesofdiscontentfromhertable

companions.‘Well,don’tcarryonso,’sheadvisedkindly.‘He’llbegoingtothewardstoseehiscases,won’the?’

ShelookedatMadge,whobrightenedvisiblyandasked,‘What’shegotthisafternoon—somethingforICU,Isuppose.’Shelookedroundthetable.‘Margaretisn’there—she’llgetit.’

‘There’salobectomyathalfpasttwo;he’llbeusinghisnewtechnique,sothere’llbeanaudienceinthegalleryandthepatientwillgotoMargaret—she’sgottheothers.Whydon’tyougoupandseeher?Youmightbeabletomeethim,he’ssuretobeinandoutofthereforthenextfewhoursaftertheatre’sfinished.’

Severalpairsofsuspiciouseyeswereturneduponher.‘You’reverycasual,Emma.IfIwereyouI’dkeephimtomyself,’remarkedCasualtySister,astrikinggirlwithcorn-colouredhairandenormouseyes.

Emmahelpedherselftotreacletartandgavethespeakeraconsideringlook.

‘IfIwereyou,Sybil,’shesaidreasonably,‘Ijollywellwould.’Theafternoon’sworkwentperfectly,probablybecauseneitherSisterCox

norJessopwerethere.Theprofessorworkedsmoothly,hisquietvoicedetailingeverystageoftheoperationhewasperformingtotheaudienceinthescreened-offgallery.WhenhehadfinishedhethankedEmmanicelyandleft,closelyfollowedbyLittleWillyandPeterMoore.LittleWillycamebackaftertenminutesorsoandaskedEmmaifshehadmadeuphermindaboutgoingtothecinema.Itwas,hepointedout,arathersuperfilmandifshecouldgetawayintime…AndEmma,who,forsomereasonshedidn’tcaretonamefeltrestless,agreedtomaketheeffort.Twohourslater,astheywereleavingthehospitalbyitsmainentrance,theypassedtheprofessorcomingin.His‘goodevening’wascasual,buthisgreeneyesrestedthoughtfullyforseveralmomentsuponEmma.

Thenextdayhewasn’toperatingatall;MrSoamesdidashortlistandthenanemergencyonastoved-inchest.Theprofessor,Emmawasinformedatdinner,hadspentmostofthemorninginICUgettingtoknowthenurses…amostunfairstateofthings,someoneremarked,forMargaret,whowasincharge,washappilymarried.Madgehadhadavisitfromhimtoo,whichhadcausedhertogoalldreamy-eyedandthoughtful.

‘Heturnsmeon,’shesighed.‘Iknowhe’squiteold,buthe’sgotsuchawayoflookingatyou.’Sheaddedcomplacently,‘Ithinkhelikesme.Ishenicetoyou,Emma?’

‘He’sverypleasanttoworkfor,’saidEmmasedately,‘buthecanbequitestern—MadMinniedidn’tstandachancewithhim;agoodthingshe’sgoingofftoSickBaytomorrow.Bythetimeshegetsbackhe’llbegone.’

Shesufferedapangasshespokewhichwasalmostphysical.Kittywaswaitingforherwhenshecameoffdutythatevening,sittingonthe

bedreadingthelatestbookontheatretechniquewhichEmmahadjustboughtherself.Shegotuptoembracehersister,observing:

‘Darling,whataconscientiousgirlyouare—thisisonlyjustout.’Emmacasthercapontothebedandstartedtotakethepinsoutofherneat

topknot.‘Yes,Iknow,butthingschangeallthetime.Howareyou,Kitty?’Shesmiledathersisterasshedivestedherselfofheruniform.Kittywasfour

yearsyoungerthanshewasandbysomequirkofnature,althoughtheywerealike,Kittyhadbeencastinamorevividmould.HereyeswerebrownandfringedwithextravagantlycurlinglasheswhereasEmmahadtobecontentwithhazeleyesandlashesofthesamesoftbrownasherhairsothatshehadrecoursetotheaidofmascarawhenshehadthetimeandpatiencetouseit.Kitty’shairwasarichglowingbrownandhernosewassmallandstraight,whileEmma’stiltedatitsend.Theyhadthesamemouths,though,ratherlargeandturnedupat

thecorners,andtheybothhadthesamesweetsmile.‘Howdidtheexamsgo?’inquiredEmma.Kittywasasecondyearmedical

studentatoneoftheLondonhospitalsanddoingwell.‘Ipassed.ItelephonedMotheryesterday.Sheseemstohaveenjoyedherself

inHolland.Who’sthismanshebabbledonabout?’Shewenttothemirrorandbegantore-doherface.‘Shesaidyouhadan

accidentandyou’llhavetopayfortherepairs—pooryou!Look,Emma,Icanmanagewithoutthemoneyyousendmeforamonthortwo,perhapsthatwouldhelptopayitoff.’

Emmawasstrugglingintoherdressinggownandhervoicewasmuffledinitsfolds.‘That’sdecentofyou,Kitty,butIthinkI’llbeabletomanage.Ihaven’tanyideahowmuchitis—IsupposeIshallhavetoaskhim.’

‘Howcanyoudothat?’Kittywantedtoknow.‘Well,it’squiteacoincidence;he’sworkinghereforacoupleofmonths—

he’sacardiac-thoracicmanandtheyinvitedhimovertodemonstratesometechniquehe’sthoughtup—he’shadalotofsuccesswithit.He’sinourtheatre.’

Kittyputawayhercompact.‘Well,well,darling,howniceforyou—orisn’tit?’

Emmawasdoingupbuttons.‘Idon’tknowyet,’shesoundedcomposed.‘WaitwhileIhaveabath,willyou?Ishan’tbetwoticks.’

TheywentoutpresentlyandhadamealinthetownandthenwentbacktothehospitalcarparkwheretheFordPopularstoodratherself-consciouslyamongitsmoremodernfellows.‘Forheaven’ssake,gocarefully,’Emmabesoughthersister.‘I’llneeditwhenIgohomenextweek-end.Leaveithereonthewayback,asusual,willyou?I’lltryandpopdownforaminute.’

Kittygotinandstartedtheengineandsaidyes,she’dbeverycarefulandtookthelittlecaroutofthehospitalforecourtwithaspurtofspeedwhichcausedEmmatoclosehereyes.Kittyalwayshadthecarwhenshewenthomeunlesssheherselfwasusingit.Oneday,Emmapromisedherself,openinghereyesagaintowatchhersistergoroundthecorner,shewouldhaveanewcar—somethinglowandsporting,aSpriteperhaps.Shewentbackintothehospital,passingtheconsultants’carparkasshewentandpausingbytheprofessor’sRollstoseeifshecouldmakeoutanysignsofdamageonitspolishedperfection.Shecouldseenothingatall,butprobablyRolls-Royceswereinspectedfordamagewithmagnifyingglasses.Shepatteditsbonnetandthenrubbedwhereshehadpattedincaseshehadspoiltthepolish.AssheturnedroundshefoundProfessorTeylingenstandingbehindherwatching,sothat,takenbysurprise,shesaidweakly,‘Oh,hullo.I—Iwaslookingtoseeifanythingshowed,youknow—fromthebumpIgaveyou.’Shegavehimadirect

lookandwentoninacarefullymatter-of-factvoice,‘Ishouldliketohavethebill,sothatIknowhowmuch…?’Hervoicetailedawayunderhiscoolstare.

‘I’venoideaatthemoment,MissHastings,Iimagineitwillreachyouinduecourse.’Hesmiledsuddenly.‘Whowastheprettygirlwhodroveawayinyourcar?’

Andwherewashehidingtoseeus?thoughtEmmacrossly.‘Mysister,’shetoldhimshortly.

‘Oh?Alsoanurse?’‘No—she’samedicalstudent.She’sverycleveraswellasbeingpretty.’‘Andsheborrowsyourcar?’‘Well,ofcourse,’explainedEmmapatiently.‘ShecomesdownfromLondon

anddriveshomefromhere,thenbringsthecarbackonherwaytocatchthetrain.’

Itsoundedalittlecomplicated,butallhesaidwassimply,‘Why?’Shewasn’tgoingtotellhimitwascheaperthatway,soshesaid,faintly

irritatedathispersistence,‘It’seasierthatway,’andglaredathimincaseheshoulddisputetheexplanation.‘Besides,’shesaidwithfinality,‘itmeansshe’sfreetogowhereshelikesortakeMotherout.’

‘Andsoyouwalkuntilthecarisreturned?’‘Ihavegoodlegs,’observedEmmarashly,andwentpinkashesaidquickly,

‘Yes,youhave,quitedelightful,’andwhenshemadeasmallsound,saidinthemostcasualwayimaginable,‘Don’tletmekeepyou.’

Shewishedhimgoodnightratherstifflyandwalkedthroughthehospitalandoutofasmalldooratitsback,crossedtheinnercourtyardtotheNurses’Home,whereshejoinedherfellowsroundtheTVanddrankteashedidn’twant,andtriednottothinkaboutProfessorTeylingen.

Theymetagooddealduringthefollowingdays,butalwaysinaprofessionalcapacity.Iftheyhadexchangedhalfadozenwordsofordinaryconversationduringthattime,itwouldhavebeenagenerousestimate.MargaretandMadgehadfaredbetter—hehadlingeredforteawitheachofthemwhenhehadvisitedhispatientsduringtheafternoonsandtheyhadgleaned,betweenthem,quiteanamountofinformationabouthim,noneofwhich,however,castanylightuponhisprivatelife.NordidheshowanysignofdatingMadgeorSybil,whohadcontrivedtomeethimtoo.Consultantstaffweren’tinthehabitofaskingmembersofthenursingstafftogooutwiththem,butitdidn’tseemquitethesamewiththeprofessor;hewasaforeignerforastart,whichforsomereasonmadeadifference,andasfarastheyknew,hewasunmarried—butthereagain,theyweren’tsure.Itwasannoying;italsogavethemanunendingtopicofconversation.

ItwasacoupleofdayslaterthatEmma,notondutyuntiloneo’clock,decidedtogooutandbuyherselfadress.Shehadnomoneytospeakofandtheneedforanewdresswasn’tactuallypressing—itwasmerelythatshewantedtocheerherselfup.ShehadtriedtellingherselfthattherewasnoreasonwhyProfessorTeylingenshouldtakeaninterestinher;shewasperfectlyawarethatshewasneitherparticularlyexcitingasacompanionorevenpassablygood-looking,whichwasprobablywhyshewasonsuchexcellenttermswithmostofthemensheworkedwith,allofwhomwereprone,iftheytalkedtoherortookherout,tospendagreatdealoftimetellingherabouttheirgirl-friends.EventheoccasionaloutingsshehadwithLittleWillywerelikegoingoutwithabrotherandjustaboutasexciting,andshehadneverforgottenthatononeoccasionwhenshehadlistenedsympatheticallytosomeminorupheavalinhisday,hehadtoldherthatalthoughshewasahomelylittlebody,shewasoneofthenicestgirlsheknew.Hehadsaiditsonicelythatshehadn’thadthehearttobeannoyed.Shehadtakenagoodlookatherselfinthemirrorwhenshegotbacktoherroomandbeenforcedtoadmittoherselfthathewasprobablyrightaboutherbeinghomely—adetestableword,sheraged,tearingherclothesoffandbouncingintobed—justbecauseshehadn’tgotgreatblueeyesandmassesofcurlyhair;butherragehadn’tlastedlong,forLittleWillysoobviouslylikedher.

Shewalkedacrossthehospitalforecourtnow,tryingtodecidewhatcoloursheshouldhaveandhowmuchshecouldaffordtospend,andhalf-wayovertheRollsovertookherandslowedtoahalt.

‘MayIgiveyoualift?’ProfessorTeylingen’svoicewascasuallyfriendlyandwhenshesaid,‘No,thankyou,’surprisedherbyaskingherwhynot.

‘Well,youdon’tknowwhereI’mgoing,’shestated,ratherataloss.Heopenedthecardoor.‘Naturallynot.Youcantellmeaswego.’Hisvoice

soundedpatient,butEmmastillhesitated.‘Thethingis,’shesaidatlength,‘I’mnotsurewhereI’mgoingmyself—it’sshopping.’

Henoddedinanunderstandingway.‘Ah,no,ofcoursenot—howcouldyou?SupposeItakeyouintotownandyoucantellmewheretodropyou.’Headdedsuavely,‘Unlessyoudislikemycompany?’

Emma’susuallyserenefacebecameanimatedwithsurprisesothatshelookedsuddenlypretty.‘Dislikeyou?’sherepeatedparrotfashion.‘WhyshouldIdislikeyou?OfcourseIdon’t.’

‘Thengetin.’Itseemedfoolishtowasteanymoretime;shegotinandheleanedacross

herandshutthedoor,andwithoutbotheringtosayanymore,guidedthecarsleeklythroughthegatesandontothemainroad.Theywerewellintothecitybeforehespokeagain.

‘Couldyousparetimeforacupofcoffee?I’mgoingtotheDolphin,Icanleavethecarthere.’

Itseemedchurlishtorefuse—besides,suddenlythenewdressdidn’tseemimportantanymore.Emmathankedhimnicelyasheturnedthecarintothearchedentrancetothehotelandallowedherselftobeledintooneofthelargebow-windowedroomsfacingthestreet.Afterwards,thinkingaboutit,shewasunabletorememberwhattheyhadtalkedaboutwhiletheydranktheircoffee,onlythattheprofessorhadmaintainedasteadyflowofeasytalkwhichrequiredverylittleanswering.Whensheatlengthrosewithagarbledlittlespeechinwhichthankswereratherwildlymixedwithaquiteunnecessarydescriptionoftheshopssheintendedtovisit,shewasinterruptedbyhisquiet,‘Ishallbeintownmyselfuntilmidday.I’llwaitforyouhere.’

‘Oh,willyou?’askedEmma,astonished.‘ButIcangobackbybus—theyruneverytenminutes.’

‘Idaresaytheydo,’observedtheprofessor,notverymuchinterestedinthelocaltransportservice.‘Ishallwaitforyouhere.’

Shearrivedbackatfiveminutespastthehour,withoutthedressbecauseshehadbeenunabletoputhermindtothetaskofsearchingforitwiththeproperamountofconcentrationsuchapurchasedeserved.

‘I’mlate,’shebegan,breathless,towhichtheprofessorrepliedwithcalm,‘Forawomanwhohasbeenshopping,Iimagineyouareremarkablypunctual.Wheredoyoulunch?’

Shehadn’tgivenlunchathought—shewouldmakeacupofteaintheHomeandtherewerebiscuitsinatinsomewhereorother.Shedidn’tanswerashewovethecarlikeagleamingblacksilkenthreadthroughthefustianofdeliveryvansandlong-distancetransports.

‘Nolunch?’hequeried.‘Wemustarrangethingsbetternexttime.’Heglancedathersidewaysandshecaughtthegleaminhisgreeneyes.‘Andwhere’stheshopping?’

‘Iwantedadress,’saidEmma,‘butIdidn’tseeoneIliked.’‘Hardtoplease?’Hesoundedmocking.Sheheardthemockeryandwasstungintoreplying,‘OfcourseI’mnot.I

sawplentyIshouldhaveliked…’‘Youhavejustsaidyouhadn’tseenoneyouliked,’heremindedhersilkily.‘Well,’explainedEmmapatiently,‘it’snogoodlikingsomethingyoucan’t

afford,isit?’andaddedhastilyincaseheshouldpityher,whichwasthelastthingshewanted,‘Idon’treallyneedadress,anyway.’

Helaughedatthat,butitwaskindlylaughterandpresentlyshelaughedwithhim.Itwasastheywereturningintothehospitalforecourtthatheasked,‘When

doesyoursisterreturnyourcar?’‘Saturdaymorning,sothatIcangohomefortheweek-end.It’sabitofa

scramblereally,forshehastogetthemiddaytrainuptoLondon.’‘Whatdoesshedo?Leavethecaratthestation?’‘No,shebringsithereandparksitandleavesthekeyatthelodgeunlessI

canmanagetoslipdown.’‘BoxandCox,Isee.’Heopenedthedoorforhertogetoutandsmiledand

shesmiledtoo.‘Yes,itisrather,butitworksquitewell.Thankyouforthelift.’Itwasn’tuntilshewasscrubbingupforthefirstcasethatafternoonthatshe

begantowonderwhyhehadaskedallthosequestionsaboutKitty.Perhapshewantedtomeether—hehadhadaglimpseofherwhenshehadfetchedthecar.Asharppainpiercedheratthethoughtsothatshestoppedscrubbingforamomenttowonderatit.Thepainwasreplacedbyadullachewhich,whenshethoughtabouttheprofessor,becameworse.Itwasstilltheretenminuteslaterwhen,alreadyinthetheatrelayinguptheMayo’stable,shewatchedhimstrollinwithLittleWilly,gownedandglovedandmasked.Therewasnothingofhimtobeseenexceptinghisgreeneyesandthehigharchofhispreposterousnose,butthatdidn’tmatter.Sherealizedallofasuddenthatshekneweverylineofhisfacebyheart,justasshekneweverycalm,controlledmovementofhishandswhenheoperatedordrovethecarorpickedupacupofcoffee;shekneweveryinflectionofhisvoiceaswell.Sheclashedtwopairsoftissueforcepstogetherastherealizationthatshehadfalleninlovewithhimhitherlikeablastfromabomb.Suchafoolishthingtodo,shechidedherselfsilentlyasshelaidthenecrosisforcepsdownwithprecisecare,especiallyasshestillowedhimfortherepairofhiscar—itdidn’tseemrighttofallinlovewithsomeonetowhomsheowedmoney.Hewishedhergoodafternoonwithpleasantfriendlinessandsherepliedinlikevein,gladofhermasktocovertheflushwhichcreptuphercheeks.Theyplungedintotheirworkafterthatandtherewasnomoretimeforthoughtsotherthanthosetodowiththejobonhand.Andwhentheafternoonwasover,hewentawaywithacarelessgood-bye,scarcelylookingather.

CHAPTERTHREE

THEREwasnotheatreonSaturdaymorning;atabouthalfpastelevenEmmaslippeddowntothecarparktoseeifKittyhadgotbackwiththeFord.Shehad;shewasstandingbythelittlecarwithProfessorTeylingenononesideofherandLittleWillyontheotherandtheywerelaughingtogetherlikeoldfriends,butthemomentKittysawhershestartedtomeether,herprettyfacealightwithpleasure.

‘Emmadarling,howlovely!Ihopedyou’descapeforaminuteortwo.Iwasjuststandingheredoingnothingwhenthesetwo—’sheturnedasmilingfacetothemen,‘camealongandtheyknewwhoIwasatoncebecausewe’resoalike.Haveyoubeenbusy?Mother’slookingforwardtoseeingyou.’

TheyhadjoinedthetwomenasshewasspeakingandEmmasaidinherpleasantvoice,‘Hullo,Willy,’andthen,‘Hullo,sir.’Shegavehimafriendlyglanceasshespokeandtriednottonoticehowhardherheartwasbeating.

‘Gosh,’saidKitty,‘doyoucallhimsir?HesaidhisnamewasJustin.’Sheturnedtolookattheprofessor,standingwithhishandsinhispockets,ahalfsmileonhisface.‘Doyoumind?’sheasked.‘Ofcourseyou’resomeoneimportant,aren’tyou?’

‘Noneofusisimportantonourown,Iimagine,’heobservedmildly,‘andIverymuchprefertobecalledJustin.’HisgreeneyesflickeredacrosstoEmma,whowentalittlepinkbecausetheyheldlaughterintheirdepthsandshesuspectedthathewasamusedbecauseshewasalwayssocarefultocallhimsirwiththeformalityduetohim.Shesaidhastily,’Kitty,shouldn’tyoubegoing?Ihatetohurryyou,butifyoumissthebusyou’llmissthetraintoo.’

‘No,shewon’t,’theprofessor’sanswerwasprompt,‘I’llrunherdown.’Heglancedathiswatch.‘Onlyithadbetterbenow.’

Kittyflashedhimadazzlingsmile.‘Oh,good—Ididhopeyou’dthinkofthat.Good-bye,Will—Ihopewemeetagain.Emma,you’vealongweekendinafortnight,haven’tyou?I’llcomedownandmeetyouhereandwecangohometogether.’

Sheembracedhersisterwithlovingspeed.‘Thekeys,’sheaddedbreathlessly,andthrustthematEmma,‘andthankyouforthecar,Emma.’

EmmastoodbesideLittleWillywatchinghersisterskipalongbesidethemoredignifiedprofessortowheretheRollswasparked,thenwavedastheygot

inanddroveaway.WhenshelookedsidewaysatLittleWillyshewassurprisedtoseealookonhisfacewhichshehadneverseenbefore—excitement,disappointmentanddeterminationallmixeduptogether.

Heturnedtofaceher.‘Ididn’tknow,’hebegan,‘yoursister—whatalovelygirlsheis.I’venevermetanyonelikeher,onlyyou.’

Emmaunderstoodhimverywell.‘We’renotreallyalike,’shesaidkindly,‘onlytheshapeofourfacesandourmouths.I’m—I’makindofdimcopyofKitty,aren’tI?Sheislovely,andshe’sveryclevertoo.’

TheystartedtowalkslowlybackintothehospitalwhileshetoldhimjusthowcleverKittywas,becauseitwasobvioustoherunderstandingeyethathewantedmostdesperatelytoknow.

Buthewasn’ttheonlyonewhowasinterested.OnMondaymorningasshewaswrestlingwiththeoff-dutyintheofficewhileStaffgotthetheatreready,ProfessorTeylingenstrolledin,badeheragoodmorning,madeafewbriefremarksabouttheday’sworkaheadofthem,andthenwithoutfurtherbeatingaroundthebush,begantotalkaboutKitty.Itwasapparent,afterafewminutes,thatKittyhadtalkedtohimlikeanoldfriend,andEmma,sittingquietlyinherchairlisteningtohim,wondereduneasilyjustwhatshehadsaid,forKitty,althoughadarling,wasachatterbox.ButpresentlyEmmarelaxedalittle;itseemedthathersister,whiledisclosingtheirages,dislikesandvariouschildishepisodes,hadremainedreticentabouttheirfinances.Emma,forsomereasonwhichshedidn’tcaretodefine,didn’twantthismanwhohadcomesosuddenlyintoherlifetoknowhowtheyhadtocounteverypennyandwhataneffortitwasforhermothertoliveonhertinyincomeevenwithEmma’shelp—andleastofalldidshewanthimtoknowhowmuchbothhermotherandsisterdependedonherearnings.

Shelookeduptofindhimwatchinghernarrowly.‘Didyoueverwanttobeadoctor?’heasked.

Butshewasn’tgoingintoallthat.‘Goodnessme,no,’sheliedbriskly,‘I’venobrainstospeakof,’andhopedshehadsoundedconvincingbecausehesmilednon-committally.Buthecouldn’thaveknown—Kittywouldn’thavetoldhim,andanywayitwasallwaterunderthebridgealongtimeago.

Sheallowedasmallsightoescapeherandhesaid,‘YoumakeaverygoodTheatreSister,anyway.NowthatSisterCoxisnolongerwithus,youmustberatheroverworked.Howdoyoumanageaboutoff-duty?’

SheexplainedcarefullyaboutlongweekendsandshortweekendsandStafftakingtheshortlists.

‘Sothiswasyourshortweekend?’hewantedtoknow,andwhenshenodded,asked,‘Andhowlongisalongweekend?’

‘Thursdayevening,ifIcangetaway,untilMondayafternoon.Stafftakesthemorninglistandweplan—thatis,youplan,ifyoudon’tmind—alltheheavystufffortheafternoonsothatwe’rebothon.Itworksverywell.NowSisterCoxisn’there,Staffwillalternatewithmesothattheatre’scovered,andwe’veaparttimestaffnursetoo,who’sonwithStaff.CollinsandItrytobeontogetherfortheheavierlists.’

‘ButsurelywithSisterCoxaway,you’reworkingshorthanded?’Emmagavehimalevellook.‘Yes,butit’snotforeverandStaff’sverygood

indeed.’Hesmiledatthatandgottohisfeet.‘Aslongasyoucanmanage.’‘Ofcoursewecanmanage,’hervoicewasstiff,‘butifyouhaveany

doubts…’Shewasinterruptedbyhisquiet,‘Don’tgetmewrong.Ibelieveyoutobe

capableofrunningthetheatrewithyourhandstiedbehindyouifyouhadto,butyoushouldhaveadequatestaff.’

Hesmiledagain,thistimequitedifferentlysothatherheartgavealurchdespiteheroutwardcomposure.‘That’skindofyoutothinkaboutus.IfIfindIcan’tmanage,I’lltellyou,Professor.’

‘Pleasedo.NowImustfindLunnandhaveawordwithhim—I’llseeyoulater.’

Hewasgone.Shelistenedtohisunhurriedfootstepsgoingdownthecorridorandpresentlythegentleswishofthetheatreunitdoorsastheyclosedbehindhim.Butinsteadofpickingupherpenagain,sheallowedherthoughtstoidle;shewouldhavetogetusedtoseeingtheprofessoreachday,drinkingcoffeewithhim,listeningtohisquiet,deepvoice,watchinghisfaceandthewayhesmiled,seeingthelittlewrinklescomeatthecornersofhiseyeswhenhelaughed,steelherselftomeettheirpenetratinggreenwhenhelookedather.Shesupposeditwouldbepossibletodoallthatanditwouldn’tbeforlong.Shewasasensiblegirl,shetoldherselfithadbeencoincidencethathadthrownthemtogether—whatelsecoulditbe?ashermotherhadbeeneagertopointoutwhenshewenthomethatweekend.KittyhadtoldherallabouttheirmeetingbythecarandMrsHastingshadbeenfullofcarefullyputquestions—almost,Emmathoughtwithwryamusement,asifhermotherhadexpectedsomethingofthesorttohappen;certainlyshehadseemedtothinkthatthisunexpectedmeetingwouldbethebeginningoffriendship.Indeed,shehadsuggestedtoEmmathatshemightliketoinvitetheprofessorforaweekend,‘Sothathecanseesomethingofthecountry,dear,’observedMrsHastingsguilelessly.‘Besides,Icouldgivehimsomegoodwholesomefoodwithourowneggsandvegetables.’

‘Ithinkhegetsenoughtoeat,Mother,’Emmahadobserveddryly.Menwho

couldaffordtodriveRolls-Roycesweren’tlikelytoeatanythingbutthebest.‘Besides,dear,itisn’tquite…thatis,Icouldn’tverywellaskhim.Idon’tknowhimwell,yousee.IknowweworktogetherandIseehimalmosteveryday,butit’sdifficult…he’saconsultant.’

Hermotherhadnodded.Emma’sfatherhadbeenacountryGP;thenicetiesofthehospitalhierarchyhadmeantverylittletohiswife.Emmaexplainedcarefullyuntilshewassatisfiedthathermotherunderstoodthatconsultantstaffweren’treallyinthehabitofspendingweekendswithlesserfry.Shehadaddedconsolingly,‘Nevermind,darling,Kitty’ssuretobringsomeboy-friendshome,’andhadbeenstrickenintosilencewhenhermothersaid,‘Yes,dear,butIshouldlikeitverymuchifyoubroughtanicemanhomefromtimetotime.’

Emmasmiledatthememoryofhermother’swordsandlookedupasStaffputherheadroundthedoorandsaid,‘Theatre’sready,Sister.ShallCullyandJessophavetheircoffee—theothershavehadtheirs.’

Emmanodded.‘Yes,Staff,andgetyourselfacupandcomeinhereanddrinkit.You’llhavetoscrubandgetreadyafterthefirstcase—it’llbealongoneandthey’llwanttheircoffeeafterit.I’lltakethefirstandsecondandyouscrubforthelobectomy,willyou?’

Staffnodded,disappearedandreappearedaminutelaterwithhermugofcoffee.‘Sitdown,do,’saidEmma.‘Therearesomebiscuitsinthattin—JessopandCullybothwantthesamedayoffthisweek,isn’tittiresome?IwonderifitwouldhelpifIofferedoneofthemaweekend?It’syourstoo,isn’tit?Ishallbeallrightwithoneofthem,andMrsTate’sonwithoneofthetechnicians—Bob,isn’tit?MrSoamesisonholidayforaweek,too.Let’shavetheminandseeifwecanpersuadeoneofthemtochangehermind.’

Thepromiseofaweekendwasexcellentbait.CullyimmediatelygaveupherclaimtoJessop’sdays;theywentawayhappy,leavingEmmatodothenexttwoweeksoff-dutywithoutanymoredifficulties.ShehadjustfinishedwhenMrSoames,closelyfollowedbytheprofessor,arrived,andEmma,havingwishedthemabriefgoodmorning,wentawaytoscrub.

Thefirstcasewasgoingtobelengthy;theremovaloftheoutercoatoftheheart,thickenedbypericarditis—ahighlysuccessfuloperationinthehandsofaskilledsurgeon,eventhoughfullrecoverywouldtakesomemonths.Thepatientwasyoungtoo,MrBonehadtoldher,andhadexcellentchancesofanormallifeagain.Emmacheckedhertrolleys,laiduptheMayo’stableandstartedtothreadherneedles,ataskshehadjustcompletedwhenMrSoames,theprofessor,LittleWillyandPeterMoorecameintothetheatreandsheemptiedhermindofeverythoughtsavethosetodowithherwork.

Thedaysslippedoneintotheother,someoverfull,somenotsobusy,andit

wasononeofthesequieterdaysthatEmmawenttotheOrthopaedicWardtoseeSisterCox,pokingherheadroundtheofficedoorassheenteredittoaddresstheSistersittingatherdeskwith,‘Hi,Angie,how’slife?’andwentintothelittleroomtositontheedgeofthedesk.

‘Lousy,’saidthegirlbehindthedesk.Shelookedupandsmiledasshespoke.‘I’veanurseoffsickandIcan’tgetareplacement.’

‘Hardluck.How’sMadMinnie?’Herfriendraisedblueeyesheavenwards.‘Theworstpatientwe’veeverhad.

It’sawondershedidn’tdotheoperationherself.Thecarry-onwehad!Shesnapsandsnarlsalldayandmostofthenight,andwe’vegotherhereforatleastanotherweek.Whoevergetshernexthasmysympathy—howeveryoucanworkwithher,Emma…’

Emmachuckled.‘PoorMadMinnie!You’venoideahowquietitisintheatre.DoyouknowNurseJessopwasactuallysingingwhileshewasdoingthewashdown?andshehasn’tdroppedanythingfordays.’

‘Icanbelieveit.HaveyoucometoseeMinnie?I’llgiveyoutenminutesandthenputthekettleon.There’snothingmuchtodoforhalfanhour—visitors.’

Emmanoddedunderstandingly.Visitorsmeantholdingupallbutthemosturgentwardchores,withtheconsequencethateveryonehadtohurryalittlemoreaftertheyhadgone.

SisterCoxwasinaroomtoherself,sittingupinbedinano-nonsensenightgownandlookingbelligerent.

‘Sothereyouare,’shebegan,‘andhightimetoo.’Emmaofferedtheflowersshehadbrought.‘Hullo,SisterCox.Theyasked

menottocomeuntiltodaybecauseyouneededarest.I’mgladtoheareverything’ssosatisfactory—Ihopeyou’renotfeelingtoobad.’

ShesatdownbythebedandSisterCoxsaidgrumpily,‘I’mperfectlyallright.ThatSisterEmmett—you’reallfartooyoungtobe

Sisters.Inmydayweworkedatleastfiveyearsasstaffnurses…’SheenlargeduponthistopicforsometimeandEmmamadesoothinglittlenoisesfromtimetotimebecauseitwasnouseexplainingtoMadMinniethattimeshadchanged.AtlengthSisterCoxasked:

‘Well,how’sthatnewman?Rude,Isuppose—allforeignersare—andwantingthingswehaven’tgot.’

‘No,he’snotrudeatall,’saidEmmacomposedly,‘nordoesheaskforanythingwehaven’tgot.He’sbroughtsomeofhisowninstrumentswithhimanyway.HeandMrSoamesgetonfamously—they’vehadseveraldemonstrations.’

‘Huh,trampinghousemenallovermytheatre!’Perhaps,thoughtEmma,whenyou’vebeentheatresisterfortwentyyearsor

more,itbecameyours;thethoughtdepressedher.Shesaidquickly:‘Oh,no,theyhaven’ttrampedanywhere,onlyinthegallery,youknow.’She

didn’taddthatquiteafewlocaldoctorshadbeenintoo,nottomentionadustingofnurses.

‘Thatman,’theTheatreSuperintendentsoundedsuspicious,‘doyoulikehim?’

‘Yes,’Emmagottoherfeet,‘asamatteroffactIdo.Imustfly.I’monintenminutesandImustn’tbelatebecauseStaff’sgotatraintocatch.’

SisterCoxglaredather.‘Whatdoyoumean?Youknowverywellthatyoushouldbeoffthisevening.It’sFriday,isn’tit?’

‘AndStaff’sweekend—I’vegivenhertheeveningofftoaddtoit.’TheTheatreSuperintendentfrownedheavily.‘Nowlookhere,Sister

Hastings,I’llnothavemycarefulroutinealteredjustbecauseI’mnottheretoseeitcarriedout.Youshould…’

‘Yes,Iknow,’interposedEmmasoothingly,‘butwe’reworkingshorthanded,andStaff’sdonemorethanhershare.Shedeservesalittlereward.’

‘Oh,well,Isupposeyou’reright,’MadMinnieconceded.‘She’snotabadworker.’Sheaddedsurprisingly,‘Comeandseemeagain,Hastings,it’sabitlonely.’

Emmawenttothedoor.‘Yes,ofcourseI’llcome.CanIdoanythingforyou?Shopping?books?’

‘Notatpresent,butnexttimebringsomenotesofthisman’swork,willyou?’Shesoundedreluctant.‘IsupposeMrSoamesintendstousehisnew-fangledmethods,thoughIcan’tthinkwhy.’

‘I’llbringthemalongwithmewhenIcometomorrow.‘Bye,Sister.’TheolderwomansmiledreluctantlyandEmmawavedasmallcapablehand

asshewent.Therewasnothingmuchtodointheatrethatevening.Cullywascleaning

instruments,thetechnicianshadgonehomeandtheporterwashelpingoutintheAccidentRoom.Emmasatdownattheofficedeskandstartedtowriteouttheprofessor’stechniquesandspecialfoiblesinherneathandwriting.Shehadcoveredacarefullywrittenpagewhentherewasagentletaponthedoorandtheauthorofthesecamein.

‘Acase?’askedEmmainstantly.Shehadgoneadelicatepinkatthesightofhimandprayedthatitdidn’tshow—apparentlyitdidnot,forthelookhegaveherwasneitherlongnorsearching.Hesaidmildly,‘No,MrSoamesandIcameintoseethatfirstpatient.’Hesathimselfdownontheothersideofthedeskand

wenton,‘Whatareyouwriting?’Emmaexplainedandhesaidkindly,‘SoIamgivingyouagreatdealof

extrawork,amInot?ItwouldbeabetterideaifIwenttoseeSisterCoxmyselfandexplainwhatshewishestoknow.’

Emmagavehimastartledlook.‘Well—yes,Isupposeso,butI’mnotsure…’

Heinterruptedhersuavely.‘Iamawarethatshedoesn’tlikeme.Iamaforeigner,amInot?ShefeelsthatIhavenorighttobeherewithmynew-fanglednotions.NeverthelessIwillpayheravisit.’Hesmiledather.‘Whendoyouplantogoagain?’

‘Tomorrow,afterIgooffdutyintheevening.’‘Good—ifImayIwillcomewithyou.’Hegottohisfeetandshethought

forthehundredthtimewhataverylargemanhewas.‘Don’tworktoohard,SisterHastings,’hesaidashewent,leavinghertodo

noworkatallbutsitandthinkabouttheirconversation.Shewentoveritwordforwordseveraltimes,andfinallyandalittlecrosslyadmittedtoherselfthathehadsaidnothingatallwhichshecouldconstrueasinterestinherself—noteventhefaintestinterest.Shetoldherselfthatshewasbeingridiculous,fortherewasnothingabouthertoinvitehisinterestinthefirstplace.Emma,notpronetoenvy,foundherselfwishingforhersister’sgoodlooks.

Shewentoffdutypresently,atehersupperinthecompanyoftheotherSisters,watchedTVwiththemforanhourandthen,withtheexcusethatshehadaheadache,wentearlytobed.Contrarytoherexpectations,shewentinstantlytosleep.

Shewasawakenedjustbeforeoneo’clockbytheseniorrunner—aseniorstudentnursewhofilledtheurgentspotswhichoccurredonandoffallnight—whobeggedherinanurgentvoicetogetupimmediatelyandtakeanemergencycaseintheatre.

‘Here’sacupoftea,Sister,’saidherunwelcomevisitor,‘andNightSupersaysshe’seversosorrybutNightTheatreSister’sbusyinthemaintheatreandthereisn’tanyoneelsewhocantakethecase.’

ShelookedanxiouslyatEmma,whowassittingupinbedinaratherbeguilingnightieandwithherhairstreamingroundhershoulders,lookingquiteincapableoftakingthecupofteashewasbeingoffered,letaloneacaseintheatre.

‘Youdidhearme,didn’tyou,Sister?I’mgoingalongtothetheatrenowtoputthegeneralsetinandgetthegownsandgloves—couldyoumanagetenminutes?’

‘Makeitseven,’saidEmma,gulpingtea,‘andgetbothautoclavesgoing.’

Shewasasgoodasherword.Sheswungthetheatredoorsopenjustsixandahalfminuteslater,everybuttonofherneatnavybluedressdoneup,hercuffson,herpeter-shambeltfastenedbyitssilverclasp,onlyherhairhadbeenbundledupintoahastyknotunderthepristinewhitenessofhercap.Shewaspassingthehalf-opendooroftheofficewhensheheardtheprofessorsayfrombehindit,‘Inhere,Sister.’

Hewassittinginherchairbehindthedesk,buthegotupasshewentinandpushedhergentlyintoit.Willywastheretoo,leaninghislengthagainstonewall,wearingthegreyslacksandoldsweaterhereservedforrisingatnight.Theprofessor,however,hadquiteobviouslynotyetbeentobed.Emma,eyeingtheeleganceofhisdinnerjacket,wonderedwherehehadbeenandwithwhom,tohavehererrantthoughtsrecalledbyhisquietvoice.

‘I’msorrywehadtogetyououtofbed,Sister,butthecasecan’twait.Aman—anattemptedsuicide.Hejumpedfromahalf-finishedblockofflatssomewhereneartheharbour.Hisfallwasbrokenbysomerailings—miraculouslyhehasonlyaslightconcussion,althoughhischestinjuriesaremultipleandsevere.I’mnotevensurewhatwe’regoingtofinduntilwehavealook.’Hesmiledatherandlookedathiswatch.‘He’llbeupinfifteenminutes—doesthatsuityou,Sister?’

Emmawasalreadyhalf-waytothedoor.Shehadagreatdealtodointhattime—shewasn’tgoingtowasteanyofitinunnecessaryspeech.Shesaid‘Perfectly,sir,’andstartedoffbrisklytheatrewards.

Themanwasinabadway,buthewasyoungandstrongandhadawell-builtbody;hehadthreepenetratingwoundsinhischestwhichhadinsomemiraculouswaymissedhisheart.

‘Doublefractureofthreeribs,’observedtheprofessor,‘withashiftofthemediastinum—airinthepleuralcavityandagooddealoffreebleedingandIimagine,almostcertainlacerationsofbothlungs.’

HetooktheknifeEmmawasholdingreadyandasked,‘Ready,Sister—Lunn?We’lltakealookatthatleftsidefirst,Ithink.’Hemadeaneat,verypreciseincisionandsaidtoMrBone,crouchingoverthepatient’shead,‘Letmeknowifyou’reatalluneasy,oldchap,’andnotwaitingforananswer,becameimmediatelyabsorbedinhiswork.

Twoandahalfhourslaterthepatient,minussomepiecesofribandaportionoflung,wentbacktotheICU.Thathewouldmakeagoodrecoverywasduetotheprofessor’spatientandmeticulousmendingandstitching.Themenyawnedintheemptytheatreanddraggedofftheirgloves,thenstoodpatientlywhiletherunneruntiedtheirgownsandEmma,alreadybusyclearinghertrolley,asked‘Tea?’astheymadeforthedoor.

LittleWillypausedbriefly.‘Rather!I’llgetit,Emma—we’llgiveyouacallwhenit’sready.’

ShehadclearedbothtrolleysandtheMayo’stablewhentheprofessor,stillinhistheatreshirtandtrousers,appearedinthedoorway.

‘Tea,Emma,’hesaidcheerfully,andbecausehehadcalledherEmmashedroppedtheforcepsshehadbeencountingandwasgladofthemaskshewasstillwearingtohideherface.Shehadtotakeitoffwhensheleftthetheatrethough,andfollowedhimtotheofficewhereLittleWillywaswaiting,andalthoughshewasverytiredshehadtolaughatthesightoftheteatray.Theyhadusedthelargestteapot—theoneSisterCoxkeptforheroccasionalteapartiesofsixormore;theyhadleftthesaucersoffthetraytooandtherewasonlyonespoon.Andinsteadofthesugarbowltheweek’ssupplyofsugar,initstin,gracedthetable,asdidthemilkbottle.Moreover,therewasaplateofsandwiches.

‘Whereverdidyougetthose?’Emmawantedtoknow.Itwastheprofessorwhoanswered,‘Oneofthenursesonthefloorbelow—

shehadjustpreparedhertea,butshekindlyofferedthemtous.’Hesmiledatired,charmingsmilewhichsheknewwouldhavecharmedthepatients’breakfastbreadandbutterupstairstooifhehadsominded.ShesatdownandacceptedacupofteawhileLittleWillyspoonedsugarintoitsrichstrengthandtookoneofthesandwichestheprofessorwasoffering.Theymunchedcontentedlyforafewminutes,andthen,hermindstillonthepatient,Emmaasked,‘Willhedo?’

‘Idon’tseewhynot,’theprofessorloweredhiscup,‘providedwegetnopneumonia,sinusesorinfection.He’llhavetostayonthemachineforadayortwo.’

Shenodded.‘Doesanyoneknowwhyhedidit?’Shewasbusypouringsecondcups.

Theprofessor’sgreeneyesrestedbrieflyonhers.‘Helovedagirlwhodidn’tlovehimanymore;itbrokehisheart.WhatisityourJohnDonnesaid?“Ah,whatatrifleisaheart,ifonceintolove’shandsitcomes”.’

Emmastaredbackathim.‘Poorman,’shesaidsoftly,‘andofcourseyouknowthelastline—”Butafteronesuchlove,canlovenomore”.Hemusthavelovedherverymuch.’

Thegreeneyesdidn’twaver.‘Mendo—mostmen.Awoman—theirownparticularwoman—issowovenintothetapestryoftheirlivesthatshecan’tbecutout.’

‘Andthemysteryis,’remarkedLittleWilly,‘howthedevilsheevergetsintoitinthefirstplace.’

TheyalllaughedandEmmaputhercupdownandstoodup.‘Imustgoanddothesharpsandneedles.It’salmosttimetogetupandIhaven’tbeentobedyet.’

‘Thendon’tletushinderyou,’theprofessor’svoicewasmildandheldlaughter.‘Goodnight,andthankyou,Emma.’

Sheflewbackintothetheatrewheretheseniorrunnerwasjustfinishingthewashdown.‘Gotheminuteyou’reclear,NurseAppleby,’saidEmma,andfelltoworkoncemore,herheartabsurdlylightbecausetheprofessorhadcalledherEmmatwicewithinafewhours.

Therewaslittleofthenightleftforsleep.Shegotupatherusualtime,feelingterribleandpromisingherselfanearlynight.Shewouldbeoffatfive;shecouldseeSisterCoxonherwayovertothehome,makeapotofteaandpersuadetheHomemaidtofindsomesandwiches,thenretiretoahotbathandalongsleep.ShehadforgottencompletelythattheprofessorhadinvitedhimselftogowithhertovisitSisterCox.

Butifshehadforgotten,hehadnot.Attheendofthelongday,whenthelastpatienthadgoneandStaffwasbackfromtea,hesuddenlyappearedbesideherasshehurriedthroughthehospitaltowardsOrthopaedics.

‘Youforgot,’heaccusedgently,andshestoppedandlookedupathimguiltily.‘Yes,’shesaidcontritely,‘Idid—I’msosorry.’Andincasehefelthurtsheaddedhastily,‘IshouldhaverememberedonceIgotMadM—SisterCox,though.’

‘FromwhichremarkItakecomfort.I’llbeveryquick.’Hewas.Presumablyhelecturedagreatdeal,forhewasbriefandconcise

andveryclear.SisterCox,whowouldhavelikedtofindsomefaultwithhim,wasquiteunabletodoso;withinhalfanhourshewasforcedtoadmitthatsheunderstoodeverythinghehadsaidperfectlyandwhatwasmore,shecouldoffernoobstaclestothenewtechniquesbeingcarriedout.ItwasofcourseforMrSoamestodoashewished,butshecouldmakelifeveryunpleasantforeveryoneinthetheatre.EmmawasastoundedtoseeMadMinniesmilingattheprofessorandevenagreeingwithhim,andonceshelaughedoutloud.Emmaleftwithhimpresently,withSisterCox’sunexpectedinvitationtothatgentlemantoreturnwheneverhewished,ringinginherears.Onthestairsshepaused.

‘Butshedoesn’tlikeanyone,youknow—Ican’tthinkwhatyoudid.’Hehadstoppedbesideher.‘No?Nevermind.Ifyouaren’ttootiredwe’re

goingouttodinner.Idon’tseemtohavehadadecentmealforquiteatimeandIdaresayyouhaven’teither.I’llbeoutsideinhalfanhour.’

Emma,tornbetweenannoyanceathishighhandednessanddelightattheinvitation,hesitated.‘Thankyou,but—butI’mgoingtobedearly.’

‘SoamI,’heagreedplacidly,‘butIintendtoeatfirst.’Hesmiledandshefoundherselfsmilingbackathim.Theywentondownthestairsandatthebottomherepeated,‘Halfanhour,Emma,’andlefther.

Emmaputonthepinkdress;itwasawarmevening,shewouldn’tneedacoat.Sheputonhernewsandalstooanddidherhairtwiceaswellaswastingagreatdealoftimeoverherface.Atfirstshegaveitthefulltreatment,buthernicehazeleyeslooked,toheratanyrate,oddwiththeirlashesheavilymascaraedandtheeyelineradded.Shescrubbedherfacecleanagainandappliedthemascaraoncemore,thinly,leftherexpressiveeyebrowsaloneandusedonlyahintofcreamandlipstick.Atleast,sheconcededtoherreflection,shelookedthesameasusualandherkindoffacewasn’timprovedbyelaboratemake-up.Andanyway,theprofessorwouldn’tnotice.

Hewaswaitingforherwhenshewentdowntotheforecourtandherheartliftedabsurdlywhenhesaid,‘Ah,I’mgladtoseeyouwearingthatdress.Ithoughtitsuitedyouadmirably.’

Emmagotintothecar,sayingatrifleincoherently,‘Oh—didyounotice?Ididn’tthink—it’ssuchawarmevening.’

Towhichdisjointedremarkhewaskindenoughnottoreplytoatall,butembarkedonagentlemonologueaboutnothinginparticular,whichgavehertimetorecoverheraplomb.

Theyweretravellingoutofthecitysouthwardsandafterafewminutessheventured,‘Wherearewegoing?’

‘ToHamble—HambleManor—I’msureyouknowit.Beingbytheriverweshallbeabletogetsomeairaswellaseat.Didyouhaveapleasantweekendathome?’

‘Yes,thankyou,’answeredEmma,surprised.‘It’sonlyasmallvillage,butIlikepotteringinthegardenandseeingtothehensandtakingthedog.’

‘Itsoundsdelightful.’Hesoundedsincere;shewasencouragedtogoon.‘Itis—wehaven’tlivedthereverylong,notinthecottage,butofcourse

Mother’slivedallhermarriedlifeinthevillage—inanotherhouse.Wethreewerebornthere.’

‘Three?’Thequestionwassocasuallyputthatshewasbarelyawareofit.‘KittyandmybrotherGregoryandI.Greg’smarriedandhasapracticeina

villagenearDorchester.They—thatis,hiswifeSybiltoo—havejusthadababy.Aboy,he’sgotredhair.’Shestoppedandlookedathim,adding,‘Wealllikeredhair.’

‘Afortunatecircumstance,’murmuredhercompanion,‘forIhaveastrongfeelingthattherewillbeothersofyourfamilywithhairofthatcolour.’

Emmamadenosenseofthisremark;redhairwasn’tallthatcommoninthe

Hastings’history.Shedecidedtoignoreitandwenton,‘Well,itmakesanicechange,youknow.GregandIarebothaveryordinarybrownandso’sMother.Kitty’stheluckyone,we’reallratherproudofher.’

‘I’msureyouhavereasontobe—sheisindeedamostattractivegirl.Letushopeshewillfinishherstudiesbeforeshegetssnappedupandmarriedoutofhand.’

‘Butshewill,’saidEmmaseriously,‘finish,Imean—shepromised.Evenifshemarriedfirst,otherwiseitwouldbesuchawaste.’

Shedidn’texplainwhatthewastewouldbeandhedidn’task,andEmmawentontalkingaboutKittyforsomeminutesbecauseitseemedtoheratthatmomentthatshehadknowntheprofessorallherlifeandcouldtellhimanythingshewished.Itwasn’tuntiltheyweresittingovertheirCamparithatheaskedquietly,‘Won’tyoutellmewhyyoudidn’ttraintobeadoctortoo?Yourbrotherdid,yoursisteris,whyareyoutheoddoneout?’

Sheforgotthatshehadnevermeanttotellhimanything,certainlynothingaboutherself.‘GregoryqualifiedbeforemyfatherdiedandIwasallsettostart,butifIhadMotherwouldn’thavehadenoughmoneytoliveonandeducateKittyaswell,evenwithagrant—soIdecidedtobeanurseandIcan’tsayI’msorrynow.I’veagoodjoband…’

‘Kittyisabletogotomedicalschool,’finishedhercompanionsmoothly.Emmaputdownherglass,suddenlyawareofhowmuchshehadtoldhim.‘I

hadnointention—’shebeganseverely.‘Youdidn’t,’hisvoicewasplacid,‘Isaiditforyou.InanycaseIthinkIhad

guessedsomethinglikethat.’Hesoundedsounderstandingthatshesmileddespiteherdiscomfortandhesaidatonce,‘Let’seat—I’mhungry.’

Thedining-roomwaspleasantandnottoofull,andtheprofessor,althoughmostunassuminginmanner,wasoneofthosementogetinstantattentionfromwaiters.Emmasettledinherchairandconfrontedbythemenuwonderedwhattoorder.IfshehadbeenoutwithLittleWillyshewouldundoubtedlyhaveaskedhimwithoutembarrassmenthowmuchheintendedtospendontheirmeal—indeed,inallprobability,hewouldhavealreadywarnedhertochoosesomethingnottooexpensive.Butshehardlythoughtthattheprofessorwasamantotoleratesuchanactiononthepartofhisdinnercompanion,soitwasareliefwhenheasked:

‘Shallwestartwithicedmelon?IthinkI’llhaveacarpet-bagsteak,butIdaresayyouwouldprefersomethingalittlelesshearty.IfyoulikechickenIcanrecommendtheSuprèmedeVolailleRichelieu,andIthinkabottleofburgundywouldsuitusboth—Chambertin‘52shoulddonicely.Wecandecideonasweetlater,canwenot?’

HavingthussmoothlydisposedoftheirmealhesteeredtheconversationbacktoEmmaandherfamily,butthistimeshewasonherguard;shehad,shethoughtuneasily,talkedfartoomuchaboutherselfalready.Shecounteredhisgentlequestionswithsomeofherown,whichheansweredwithdeplorablevagueness,sothatsheknewnomoreabouthimthanshealreadydid.Shehadmoresuccesswhensheturnedtoanothersubjectthough,hewasmorethanwillingtotalkabouthisowncountryandprovedanamusingtalkeraswellasaninformedone.SheateherchickenwithaniceappetiteandwhenofferedFraisesRomanoffatethosetoo,butshedeclinedthebrandyhesuggestedwiththeircoffee,leavinghimtodrinkhis.Shewasn’toverfondofitanywayandshehadalreadyhadtwoglassesofBurgundyaswellastheCampari,acombinationwhichhadmadehersurprisinglylighthearted,butnotsomuchsothatshedidn’trealizethathertonguehadbeenlooseenoughforoneevening.

TheysatforalongtimeoverthemealandwhenatlengthEmmasaidwithregret,‘Ishouldgobacknowifyoudon’tmind—it’stheatrecleaningdaytomorrow,’whichremarknaturallyenoughledtothelistonMonday.

‘Avalvereplacement,isn’tit?’queriedtheprofessor.‘Anicechild—Ihopewecandosomethingforher.’

Emmagotintothecar,likinghimevenmorebecausehealwayssaid‘we’andnot‘I’.Theytalkedinafriendly,desultoryfashionfortherestofthejourneybacktothehospital,andwhentheyarrivedtherehegotoutofthecartooandwalkedwithhertotheNurses’Homefrontdoor,tookherkeyandopeneditforherandheldherhandforsolongthatforoneexcitingmomentshethoughtthathewouldkissher.Buthedidn’t;hegaveherbackherhandandsaidmerely,‘Adelightfulevening,sleepwell,Emma.’Soshesaid‘Goodnightandthankyou’quietlyandwentintothehome,throughtheratherbarehallandupthestairsandintoherroom,whereshesatonherbed,justasshewas,goingovereverysecondoftheevening;rememberingeverywordhehadsaidandeverysmileandthewayhiseyescrinkledattheircornersandhowbrightthoseeyeswerewhenhelookedather.Atlengthshegotupandundressedslowly,foralltheworldasthoughshewasn’tgettingupatseveno’clockthenextmorning,andevenwhenshewasinbedshedidn’tatoncegotosleep,foreverytimesheclosedhereyeshewasthere,behindtheirlids.

Sundaywasadulldayonduty;bookstowriteup,storestocheck,instrumentstoexamineandcleanandthelaundrytocheckformending.Mondaywasareliefalthoughthemorninggotofftoabadstart—Jessop,withinminutesofthefirstcasestarting,trippedoveraswabbucketand,becausethelittlegrouproundtheoperatingtableweresterile,noneofthemcouldstretchoutahandtosaveherfall,andTom,thetechnician,whocouldhavehelped,wasinthesluice.

Shewasabiggirlandshefellhard,lettingoutanear-splitting‘Ow!’asshedidso,sothatwhatwithherprotestandthebucketrollingaroundthetiledfloor,thenoisewasenoughtojustifythesurgeonsmakingaprotestoftheirown.InthesilencewhichfollowedEmmawaitedfortheprofessortosaysomething,butbeyondagruntandafewmutteredwordsinhisownlanguagewhichdidn’tsoundtoowrathful,hesaidnothingatall,andLittleWillyandMrBoneremainedsilenttoo.EmmaliftedaglovedhandandJessoplumberedtoherfeetbreathingheavilyandcamecarefullyclose.

‘Gettheswabsbackinthebucket,Nurse,’saidEmma,carefullycalm,‘andmakecertainyou’vegotthemall,thengooutsideandmakesureyou’renothurtanywhere—Tomwillcoverforyou.’

‘Yes,Sister—sorry,Sister,’saidpoorJessop,andEmma,hearingthemiseryinhervoice,saidkindly,‘Nevermind,there’snoharmdone,justtryandbeverycarefulfortherestofthelist.’

AninjunctionwhichJessopobeyedtothelettersothatbytheendofthefirstlong-drawn-outcase,Emma’susuallycalmnerveswereonedgefromJessop’spainfuleffortstobeamodeltheatrenurse.Whenatlastthepatientwasborneawayandthemenhadstrippedofftheirgownsandglovesandgonealongtotheofficeforcoffee,Emma,leavingthereadyingofthetheatretoStaff,followedthemwithsomemisgiving.OnlyasaintwouldoperatewithsomeonelikeNurseJessoppuffingandblowingaroundthetheatreandtheprofessor,shefeltsure,wasnosaint.Hewassittingbackwithhiseyesclosedwhenshewentin,butopenedthematoncetogiveheralongstaresothatshesaidhastily:

‘I’msorryaboutthat,sir—I’llputNurseinthesluicefortherestofthelist,butifIhadn’tallowedhertostayfortherestofthecaseshewouldhavelosthernerve.’

‘Quiteso,Sister,’agreedtheprofessorgravely.‘Ialmostlostmine,’andwhenEmmagavehimaguiltylook,hesmiledather.‘Don’tworry,Iwon’tbanishher,Idaresaythatonedayshewillproveherworth.’

Emmapouredthecoffee.‘Oh,thankyou,’sheexclaimedinarelievedvoice.‘I’mstillsureshe’lldowellonceshe’sfoundherfeet.’Anineptremarkwhichseteveryonelaughing.

Thedaywentbadlyallthesame,forthenexttwocasesprovedtobeoneswhich,howevergreattheprofessor’sskill,weren’tgoingtoprofitverylongfromit.Butthelastcasewasbetter;thepatientwouldhaveagoodchanceofrecoveryandtheresults,ifhedid,wouldbeentirelysatisfactory.Theprofessortookoffhismaskandgownforthelasttimethatmorningandleftthetheatre,tirednesscreasinglinesbetweenhismagnificentnoseandhisfirmmouth.‘Canwemanagetostartinhalfanhour,Sister?’heaskedoveroneshoulderashe

went,andEmma,alreadyfrenziedatworkontheinstruments,noddedcheerfully,knowingthatherlunchwouldbeahastilysnatchedcupofcoffeeandasandwichintheoffice.

Sheorganizedthework,sentStaffandCullyandMrsTatetoahurrieddinnerandturnedbacktoherownwork.Jessop,whoworkedfarbetteronherown,wasclearingtheatrewithawillasEmmafinishedtheinstrumentsandwentintothescrubbingroomtoputoutthegownsandglovesthenbackagaintopickoutwhattheywouldneedfortheafternoon’slist.Notverymuch,thankheaven;theyhadgotthroughtheheavycases,sotheafternoonshouldbeapieceofcake.Shewentintothesterilizingroom,addedtheinstrumentstothosealreadyinthewirebasketsreadyfortheautoclaveandwentbacktoseehowJessopwasfaring.ShehadfinishedandEmmasenthertoherdinnerasStaffandtheothersreturnedandshewasabletogoherselftotheofficewithhercoffeeandsandwiches.Shehadjustovertenminutes,timetofillinthebookassheate.Shewaswolfingdownthelastsandwichandpouringhersecondcupofcoffeewhentheprofessor,withthemerestpretenceofaknock,walkedin.

‘Whyaren’tyouatdinner?’hewantedtoknow.‘Notime,’saidEmma,hermouthfull,‘andImustgetthebookwrittenup.

Besides,’sheaddedtruthfully,‘IhateIrishstew.’Helaughed.‘IfIfetchacupmayIshareyourcoffee?’Shepointedwithherpen.‘There’soneinthewallcupboard.Doyouwant

somesandwiches?Haven’tyouhadluncheither?’‘Nothingtoeat.Icamebacktoseeifwecouldfitinarepairof

diaphragmaticherniathisweek.HowaboutWednesday?’Emmaleafedthroughthetidyheapsofpapersandnotesonthedesk.‘Yes,if

youdon’tmindstartinganhourearlierorworkanhourlater.’‘Wednesdaythen.We’llstartearlyifyoucanmanagethat.Now,ifyou’lllet

mehavethosecasenotesI’llgetthemstarted.’Shehandedthemacrossthedeskandhepulledupthechairandsatdown

oppositeher,takingupfartoomuchroom,hisvividheadonlyinchesawayfromher.Shestudiedhisdownbentheadcovertly.Therewasnosignofagreyhairandtherereallyshouldbe;hewasforty,afterall.HelookedupsuddenlytosurpriseherandtherewasagleaminhiseyeswhichsheimaginedtobelaughterasshebentherheadhastilyoverherownworkandkeptitsountilStaffputherheadroundthedoortotellthemthatthetheatrewasready.

Theafternoon,unlikethemorning,wentwithincrediblesmoothnesssothatshegotoffdutypunctuallyandafterchanging,wenttomeetLittleWillyintheforecourt.Ashehadfollowedtheprofessoroutofthetheatrethatafternoonhehadhesitatedandthenreturnedtowhereshewasbendingoveratrolley.

‘Howaboutamealout?’hehadasked,andlookedsobeseechinglyatherthatshehadinstantlyagreed.NowshegotintohisAustinCooperwaitingintheforecourtandexchangedacasualgreetingasheturnedoutofthegates,wheretheypassedtheRolls,whisperingpastthemintheoppositedirection.TheprofessorliftedahandingreetingandEmmalongedtostopandrunafterhimandtellhimthatshewasonlygoingwithLittleWillybecausehehadlookedsolonely—aridiculousimpulse,shechidedherself,forProfessorTeylingenwouldn’tcaretuppencewhoshewentoutwith.

LittleWillyturnedthecartowardsthecity’scentre.‘Thatmanworkslikeanox,’heremarked.‘ThisafternoonafterI’daskedyoutocomeoutheaskedmeifwehadadatethiseveningandwhenIsaidyes,hesaidhe’dgotnothingmuchtodo;he’dgoinhimselfandhavealookatthevalvereplacement.’Hecrossedasquareandshotdownasidestreet.‘WillPip’ssuityou?’

Pip’swasasmallrestaurantwhereonecouldeatsubstantiallyforamoderatesum.‘Fine,’saidEmma,andwonderediftheprofessorimaginedthatsheandLittleWillywerekeenoneachother.TheideaannoyedhersomuchthatshefrownedandLittleWilly,settlinghimselfoppositeheratasmalltablebythewindowaskedherifshefeltill,thenwithoutbotheringtowaitforareplywantedtoknowifhamsaladwouldsuither.Hismannerwassoabsentmindedthatshewasconstrainedtoask,‘What’sthematter,Willy?Doyouwanttotellmesomething?’

Hisanswerwasfartooquick.‘Lord,no,whatevermadeyouthinkthat?It’syourweekend,isn’tit?’

‘Yes,’saidEmma,andwaitedpatiently.‘Your—thatis,Kitty’scomingdownagain,Isuppose?’Sothatwasit.‘Yes,sheis,’saidEmmakindly.‘She’llbehereonThursday

eveningaboutfiveandInevergetoffuntilatleasthalfpast.IfyouseeherasyouleavetheatrewillyourushherovertotheHomeandtellhertogotomyroomandmakeherselfsometea?’

Hebrightenedvisiblyasshehadknownhewould.Hewastwenty-eightandshesuspectedthathehadn’thadagreatdealtodowithgirls.Hehadtoldheroncethathelikedherbecauseshedidn’tfrightenhimandshehadwantedtolaughthen,butsincethattimeshehadcometoknowthathewasfiercelyshy,butoncethatshynesshadbeenbreached,hewasaveryniceman.Shestarted,inthemostcasualwayimaginable,totalkaboutKitty.

ItwasThursdayafternoonatlast,thelastcasehadleftthetheatreandEmmawasbustlingabout,clearingupinahurrysothatshecouldgetawayontimeforonce.Staffwasbackfromtea,sowereCullyandMrsTate,sheonlyneededtogettheneedlessortedandStaffwouldtakeover.LittleWillyhadgonehalfway

throughthelastcaseandPeterMoorehadtakenhisplace;hehadleftthetheatretoo,walkingimportantlybecausehehaddonetheskinstitchesandwasstillglowingfromtheprofessor’s‘Verynice,Moore.’

FiveminuteslaterEmmaleftthetheatreandmadefortheofficetocollecthercloakandbag.Theprofessorwassittingatthedeskwritingandwithoutlookingup,saidquietly,‘Ah,Emma,dositdownaminute.’

Shesatreluctantly.Kittywouldbetherebynowandtimewasprecious.‘Relax,Emma,’saidtheprofessor,stillnotlookingup.‘Youhaveplentyof

time;you’regoingwithme.’Emma’snicelyshapedmouthdroppedopen.Shecloseditfirmlyandsaid

withequalfirmness,‘No,I’mnot.It’smylongweekend—I’mgoinghome,Kitty’swaitingforme.’

‘Iknow.Yourmotherhasbeenkindenoughtoinvitemefortheweekendtoo—Ihadaletterfromher,Ican’tthinkhowIoverlookedtellingyouaboutit.’Helookedvague.‘We’vebeenbusy,haven’twe,anditslippedmymind.Itseemssensiblethatyoushouldbothcomeinmycar,doesitnot?’

Emmagoggledathim,noddedwordlesslyandthenfrowned.‘HoweverbusywewereIcan’tthinkhowyoucametoforget,’shesaidseverely,andthenwasquitedisarmedwhenhesaid:

‘Totellthetruth,Iwasn’tsureifyouwouldliketheidea,butIverymuchwantedtomeetyourmotheragain.Itseemedwisetosaynothinguntilitwas—er—toolate.’

‘Well,really,’saidEmma,quiteexasperated,‘anyonewouldthinkthatIwasa—a—’Shepaused,atalossforwords.

‘I’msureyou’renot,’interposedtheprofessorinasoothingvoice,‘andIhopeyouwillforgiveme.’

‘WhyevershouldIforgiveyouforcomingtostaytheweekend?’‘No,fordissembling,’hecorrectedher,lookingsohumblethatsheburstout

laughing.‘Whatnonsenseyoutalk,’sheremarked.‘I’mgoingovertotheHometo

change.Whattimedoyouwanttostart?’‘ItakeitKittyisalreadyhere?Shallwesayhalfanhour?Lessifyoucan

manageit.I’llbeinthecar.’TherewasnosignofKittywhenEmmagottoherroom,onlyascrapofa

noteonthebedcovertotellherthatKittyhadgonetoteawithWillyandwouldbebackingoodtime.ButbythetimeEmmahadchangedintoaneatbluelinendressandre-doneherhairandpackedanovernightbag,therewasstillnosignofhersister,andEmma,knowingher,decidedthatshehadforgottenthetimeandwentinsearchofher.Shehadn’tfartolook.Kittywaswiththeprofessorand

LittleWilly.TheywereallintheforecourtbesidetheRollsandwhenEmmajoinedthemKittycriedhappily,‘Hullo,Emmadarling—look,I’vehadamarvellousidea.Willy’sfreeonSundayfromtenuntiltheevening,whyshouldn’thespendthedaywithus?I’vealreadyaskedhim,’sheadded.‘Justinthinksit’samarvellousideatoo.You’llcome,won’tyou,Willy?’

WillycastanuncertainlookatEmma,whosaidatonce,‘That’ssplendid—docome,Willy,’andturnedfromhisbeamingfacetocatchtheprofessor’seyeandwonderifdespiteitsblandnesshewasannoyedatnotgettingKittytohimselfforthewholeweekend.Butthat,shethoughtfiercely,wassomethinghecouldsortoutforhimself.AtleastitwasnicetoseeWillysohappyattheprospectofKitty’scompany.Helookedevenhappierwhenthatyounglady,abouttogetintothecar,putahandonhisarmandthankedhimwarmlyforhertea.

‘Willyfoundadearlittlecafé,’sheexplained,‘andwehadanicetalk.’Sheflashedhimabrilliantsmileandallowedherselftobeusheredinbythepatientprofessor,sayingatthesametime,‘SeeyouonSunday,Willy,anddon’tforget.’

IthadseemednaturalforKittytositinfront;Emmasankbackintotheleatherluxuryofthebackseatandwatchedtheprofessorstowingtheirbagsintheboot.Shewouldhavelikedtositbesidehim,buthehadn’tevengivenhertheopportunityofrefusing.ShewatchedhimfromthebackwindowashestoodtalkingtoWillyandwonderedwhathewassaying;somethingtodowithhispatients,shesupposed,andlookedawayquicklywhenheglancedupandcaughtherstaring.

Thejourneyhome,aftertheratherlabouredeffortsofherownelderlycar,seemedveryshort.Emmasatquietly,watchingthetwoinfrontlaughingandtalkingasthoughtheyhadknowneachotheralltheirlives,andalthoughKittytriedtodrawherintoathree-corneredconversation,itwasn’tverysatisfactory,fortheprofessorwasdrivingfastenoughtohavetokeephiseyesstrictlyontheroadahead.Hedrovewell,takingnounduerisksbutneverwastingtime.EvenwhenheturnedoffatDorchesterandhadtorelyontheirdirectionsthroughthecountryroads,hedidn’tslackenhisspeed;onlyastheyapproachedMutchleyMagnadidheslowdowntolookaroundhim.Thevillagewaspretty,withmostofitshousesgroupedroundthesmallgreenbeforethechurch.Itwasinahollow,sothatthelittlecommunitydiscovereditselfwithunexpectedsuddennesstothetraveller,andalthoughitwasnosizeatall,severallanesledbackintothehillsarounditfromitscentre.

‘Thefirstlaneontheleft,’instructedEmma.‘Thecottageisontheright.’ShewavedtooldMrsBeechleaningonhergardengate,astheypassed.MrsBeechwasinchargeofthepostofficeandgeneralstores;beforenightfall,

EmmaguessedthatthevillagewouldknowthattheHastingsgirlswerehomefortheweekendwithaman.MrsBeech,whohadagreateyefordetail,wouldhavenotedthecolourofhishairandthenumberofhiscarandthemoreobviousfactthatitwasaRolls-Royce.Emmasmiled.Itwouldgiveeveryonesomethingtogossipaboutfordays!

CHAPTERFOUR

THEcottagestood,smallandsturdyunderitsthatch,bythesideofthelane,fromwhichitwasseparatedbyanicelycuthedge,itsopengatetoonesideofthesmallgardengivinganypasser-byaglimpseofariotofflowers,colourfulifalittleuntidy.ProfessorTeylingenturnedtheRollsskilfullybetweenthewoodengatepostsandbroughtittoasilenthaltbeforethecottage’sstoutfrontdoor—adoorwhichwasimmediatelyflungopentorevealEmma’smother,aspanieldogandtwocats.Theanimalsrushedouttoinvestigatethevisitors,butMrsHastingscontentedherselfwithawelcoming:

‘Thereyouare—howcleverofyoutogetthecarthroughthegate.Emmahastotrytwice,don’tyou,dear,quiteoften.’

Emmagotoutofthedoortheprofessorwasholdingopenforherandcaughthiseye;thegleaminitcompelledhertosayatonce,‘I’mconsideredquiteagooddriver,’aremarkwhichdidhernogoodatall,forthegleambrightenedwickedlyandhemurmured,‘ButIhaven’tdisputedit,haveI?’

TheystoodintheporchforamomentwhileMrsHastingsembracedherdaughtersandgaveherhandtotheprofessor,whotookitandsaid,‘It’smostkindofyoutoinviteme,MrsHastings.’

‘EversinceEmmatoldmeyouwereatthehospital,I’vewantedto,butEmmasaidthatconsultantsdidn’tmixwiththenursesanditjustwouldn’tdo,butwhenIthoughtaboutitIdecidedthatitwasaloadofrubbish—notyou,Emmadarling,justthesillyidea.Whyshouldn’tyoumixifyouwantto?’

Theprofessorsmileddownather.‘Whynotindeed?Iquiteagreewithyou,MrsHastings,andIhopeforastartthatyouwillcallmeJustin.’

‘OfcourseIshall.Nowdocomeinside.YoucanfetchthecasespresentlyandIdaresayyoucanmanagetogetthecarintothegarage,thoughit’llbeabitofasqueeze.’

Sheledthewaydownthesmallflagstonedhallandintothesitting-room,warningtheprofessortomindhisheadbecausethedoorwayswerelowandtheceilingdippedalarminglyhereandthere.

Theroomwascharming.Ithadbeenfurnishedwiththesmallerpiecesoffurniturefromthedoctor’shousewhenithadbeensoldathisdeath.MostofthemwereRegencyperiod,buttherewasanoakchestofconsiderableageandaCaroleanworktableaswellasacomfortable,rathershabbysofaandapairof

old-fashionedeasychairsflankingtheinglenook.TherewasagooddealofchinatooandsomenicelittlepiecesofNailseaglassontheinglenookshelf.Theroomranfromfronttobackofthecottageandfrenchwindowsopenedontoasmallgardenbehindthecottage,itslawninneedofmowing,thesurroundingbedsfullofflowersofeverysort,givingamostpleasingpicture.

Theprofessorraisedhimselfcautiouslytohisfullheightandlookedabouthimwithinterest.‘Delightful,’hesaidsoftly,andMrsHastingssaid,‘Yes,isn’tit?Itseemedsmallafterthehouse—youpasseditasyoucamethroughthevillage—QueenAnne,oppositethechurch,butI’maloneagooddealofthetime.Sitdown,do,’shewavedhimintooneoftheeasychairs,‘andhavesomesherry.EmmabroughtabottlebackfromHolland.’Shesatdowntoo,rattlingonabouttheholidaytheyhadhadwhileEmmapouredthesherryandhandeditroundandthensatherselfdownbytheopenwindow,alittleapartfromtheothers,joiningintheconversationpleasantlyenoughbutnotmakinganyattempttodrawattentiontoherself.Presentlyhermotherexclaimed,‘Supper—Imustgoandseehowit’sgettingon,’andEmmagottoherfeetandsaid,‘I’llgo,Mother—isitanythingspecial?’

‘No,darling.There’sachickenintheovenandatrifle.Whileyou’relookingatitI’lltakeJustinupstairsandhecanputthecaraway.’

Emma,onceinthekitchen,stayedthere.Shehadmadesurethateverythingwascookingasitshould,andtherewaslittleenoughtodo,butiftheprofessorhadcomeinordertoseemoreofKitty,shemustgivehimthechancetodoso.LittleWillywantedtoseemoreofKittytooandEmmacouldn’treallyblameeitherofthem;Kittywasprettyandgayandgreatfuntobewithandshelovedherfartoomuchtoaspiretorivalry—besides,itwasn’tverylikelythattheprofessor,orLittleWillyforthatmatter,wouldbotherwithasecondglanceinherdirectionwhileKittywasaround.Shesighedandbegantodishup,drapedinhermother’sapronandwithherhairalittlewispyfromthewarmthofthelittlekitchen.

Shewaskneelingbeforetheoven,gingerlyremovingthechickenontoaplateshewasholdingwithonehand,whenthedooropenedandtheprofessorwalkedin.‘Whydoyoudisappear?’hewantedtoknow.

‘I’mnot,’repliedEmma,andfrownedatthechicken,whichwasprovingtiresome.‘I’mdishingup.’

Hegotdownonhiskneesbesideher,tookthekitchenforkfromherandspearedthechickenneatlyontotheplate,tooktheplatefromher,transferredittotheplatewarmerandclosedtheovendoor.

‘Thankyou,’saidEmmapolitely.‘Justin,’heprompted.

‘Justin.’Theywerestillkneelingsidebyside.‘Thoughitreallywon’tdo,youknow—onMondayI’llbecallingyousiragain.’

‘Onlyinpublic,’hesuggestedmildly.Hegottohisfeetandpulledhertohers.‘AndIshallcallyouEmma—afterall,IhavethoughtofyoubythatnameeversinceIsawyourpassport,andIcanseenoreasonwhyIshouldnot,canyou?’

Emmawasstrugglingwiththeapron.‘No,notifyouwantto.’Shemadehervoicesoundmatter-of-fact,andwentonfumblingwiththeapronstringswhichhadgothopelesslyknotted,andheturnedherroundtountiethem,thenturnedherbackagainandbeforeshecoulddoanythingaboutit,kissedheronhermouth.

‘Well,’saidEmma,‘Ineverdid!’‘No?Inthatcaseallowmetorepeattheaction.’Whichhedidwithan

expertiseshemighthaveexpectedfromagood-lookingmanofforty.‘Ididn’tmeanthat,’shesaidsharply,hidingdelightanddisquiethopelessly

entangled.‘It’sanexpressionof—ofsurprise,’shewentonrapidly.‘I’vebeenkissedbefore,youknow.’

Hegaveherasmile,faintlymocking.‘Butofcourse.Arenotallgirlskissed,justasallmenkiss?’

Shesaid,incurablyhonest,‘Well,somegirlsgetkissedmorethanothers.IfIwereamanI’donlykisstheprettygirls.’

Heshookwithlaughter.‘Butyou’renoman,mydearEmma.Whatisthatmostwisesayinginyourlanguage?Beautyisintheeyeofthebeholder.Mendonotsharethesametastes,youknow.’

‘No—well,Iwouldn’tknow.I’mgoingtodishupthevegetables,’Emmastatedfirmly,andliftedasaucepanfromthestoveandwasthankfulthatatthatmomenthermothercamein,saying,‘Justin,asyou’rehere,willyoucarve?Youmustbeanexpert.’

Hiseyesnarrowedwithamusement.‘Iimagineyoucoulddescribemyworkascarving,’hecommenteddryly.‘Ishallbegladtooffermytalents,suchastheyare.’

Emmaescapedthen,uptothebedroomshewouldhavetosharewithKittybecausetheprofessorwasinhers.Shedidherhairandre-didherfaceinanefforttocoolhercheeksdownalittleandpresentlydescendedthetinystaircasetopresentaserenefacetotheotherthree—aserenitywhichshemanagedtopreservefortherestofthatverypleasantevening.

Shewasupreallyearlythenextmorningandcreptdowninherdressinggowntothebackdoor,toflingitwideandlettheanimalsoutandthenputonthekettle.Shemadetea,hadahastycup,thenwentbackupstairstodressinold

slacksandshirtwhileKittyslept.Inthekitchenoncemore,shedrankasecond,moreleisurelycupandwentintothegardenandthencetothesmallpaddockwherethehenswere.Emmalikedthehens,sheknewthemallbynameandtheywereasmuchpartofthefamilyasthedogandthecats,sothattherewasneveranyquestionofkillingandeatingthem;theywereallowedtodieofoldage,which,whilenotbeingveryprofitable,gavebothEmma,hermother,andofcourse,thehens,satisfaction.AndthehensrepaidthembylayingeggswithcommendableregularitysothatMrsHastingswasabletoaddtohertinyincomebysellingthemtovariouspeopleinthevillage.

Emmarolleduphersleeves,letthehensoutintothepaddock,andstartedtocleanthehenhouse,ataskwhichshedisliked,butitsavedhavingtopaysomeoneelsetodoit.Itwasadelightfulmorning,givingthepromiseofawarmday,andEmmapausedtolookaroundheras,finishedatlast,sheturnedherattentiontoachickencooponthegrassandalloweditsoccupants,motherandeightchicks,towanderintotheirwired-inrunwhileshemovedthecooptoafreshpatch.Shehadbenttodothiswhenshebecameawareoftheprofessorstandingbesideher,inslacksandanopen-neckedshirtintowhichwastuckedaneye-catchingscarf.Hesaidcheerfully,‘Goodmorning,Emma.Wheredoyouwantthisthingput?’andmoveditforherunderherratherbreathlessdirection.Shehadn’texpectedhimtobeupsoearlyandshehadbeenthinkingofhiminadreamyfashionwhilesheworked,andtobesuddenlyconfrontedbyhimnowmadeitseemasthoughhehadknownthatshehadhoped—hopelessly—thathewouldcomeandfindher.Shesaidstifflybecauseshefeltfoolish,‘Thankyou.Couldn’tyousleep?It’sveryearlystill.’

Heraisedaneyebrow,buthisvoicewasplacid.‘Isleptallnight.IheardyougodownandputonthekettleandwhenIlookedoutofthewindowandsawyougoingdownthegardenmycuriositygotthebetterofme.Youdon’tmind?Whatdowedonext?’

‘Iwasgoingtocollecttheeggs,butI’llcomeandgetyousometeafirst.’‘No—let’sgettheeggswhileI’mhere,wecanalwaysdrinktealater.’Shegavehimoneofthebasketsshehadbroughtfromthekitchenandthey

wentaroundthehenhousewithouthaste,pickingupthegoodbrowneggsuntiltheyhadadozenormore,andthencarriedthembacktothecottagewhereEmmaaddedthemtothosealreadyinthebigbasketintheold-fashionedpantry.

‘Youcan’teatthemall,’observedJustinasheaddedhisquota.‘No,wesellthem.Peoplelikebrowneggs,youknow.’Shedidn’tlookathim.‘ComeandhaveyourteaandI’lltakesomeupto

MotherandKitty.’Hewassittingonthekitchendoorstepwhenshegotdownagain,drinking

histeaandsmokingapipe.Hewaveditatherasshewentinandsaid,‘Youdon’tmind?’andwhensheshookherhead,continued,‘Whataniceeasypersonyouare,Emma.I’veonlyseenyouinatemperonce—whenwemet.’

‘Youkickedthebumper.’Whichremarkremindedher.‘Youhaven’ttoldmeyethowmuchIoweyou—forthecar.’

‘Nothing—andbeforeyousayyoudon’tbelieveme,letmeassureyouthatitistrue.’Hewentonquicklybeforeshecouldargueaboutit,‘Tellme,howlonghasyourfatherbeendead?’

‘Eightyears.’‘Soyouwereeighteen—youstartedyourtrainingthen?’‘Yes.’‘AndKittywasatschool?’Hisquestionsweregentleandpersistent.‘Yes—she’sonlytwenty-twonow—shewastakingher“O”-levels.’Heturnedtolookather,asteadyprobinggazewhichdisconcertedher.‘So

youhadnofun—notripsabroad,noparties,noprettyclothes.’Shewentavividandhighlybecomingpink.‘Ialwayswearoldclotheswhen

Icleanoutthehens,’shebegandefensively,andthenstoppedbecausehewaslaughing.

‘DearEmma,Ididn’tmean…youlookniceinanythingyouwear,eventhatshapelesstheatregown.Butyoumusthavemissedalotoffun.Thekindoffungirlshavewhentheygrowup,beforetheysettledowntoajobormarriage.Haveyouneverwantedtomarry,Emma?’Hisquestionwasunexpected,hisvoiceurbane.Sheturnedawaytothesinksothatheshouldn’tseeherfaceandsaidinamatter-of-factvoicewhichcostherquiteaneffort,‘Well,yes,ofcourse.Iimaginemostgirlsdo.ButI—thatis…’ShethankedheavensilentlyasKittyjoinedthemtositonthedoorstepwithJustinandmakehimlaughathergaychatter.

Hemowedthelawnafterbreakfastandthen,whenKittyhadmadethebeds,joinedheronthelawnwithapileofbooks,lyingcompanionablysidebysideinthesunshinewhileheexplainedsomeoftheknottierpointsaboutchestsurgerytoher.TheyallhadcoffeetogetherlateronandthenEmma,dressedoncemoreinthebluelinenandwithherhairtidilypinnedup,wentofftothevillagewithaloadedeggbasket.Shehadn’tmanycallstomake,butasshehadknownthecustomersallherlife,thecallswerelengthy.

Finally,shehadonlyonemorevisittopay;shecrossedthevillagegreenfromthevicaragewhereshehadwastedhalfanhourchattingtothevicar’swifeandclimbedthehillpastthechurch.ThelanewasnarrowandwindingandwascalledBadger’sCross.Itmeanderedupthehillanddowntheotherside,tojoinamoreimportantroadamileorsofromthevicarage,andtherewereonlythree

housesinit.Thefirsttwowereclosetothevillage,butMrsCoffin’slittlecottagewashalfamilefurtheron,tuckedsidewaysintotheroadwhereitreacheditssteepestpitch.MrsCoffinwasturnedseventy,andhadlivedalonethereforthebestpartoftenyears,goingdowntothevillagetwiceaweek,oncetoorderherweeklygroceries,oncetogotochurch.Shewasabrisklittlewoman,whoworesensiblecountryclotheswhichnevervariedfromyeartoyear,althoughitwasreputedinthevillagethatshehadmoneyandtosparealthoughnoonereallyknewbecausealthoughshewaswelllikedshewasreservedtoo.

Emmawalkedslowlyupthehill,foritwasbynowquitewarm,pausingtopassthetimeofdaywiththeoccupantsofthetwocottagesasshewent.TenminuteslatershepushedopenthegatetoMrsCoffin’swell-keptgardenandwalkedunhurriedlytothefrontdoor.Thedoorstoodopen,buttherewasnothingstrangeaboutthat;peopleinMutchleyMagnadidn’tholdwithshutdoors.Emmabeatacheerfultattooonitsbrassknocker,callingatthesametime,‘It’sme,Emma,MrsCoffin!’Thisinformationwasmetwithsilenceandafteraminuteorso,Emmapushedthedooropenandwentinside,whereshestoodinthesitting-roomandcalledagain,andwhennooneansweredthistimeeither,sheputtheeggbasketdownandwentthroughthehouse,puzzledbecauseMrsCoffinhadobviouslyrisenfromherchairinthesitting-roomquiterecently,fortherewasacoolcupofcoffeeonthelittletablebesideitandthekettlewasboilingitsheadoffonthestoveinthekitchen.Emmaprudentlyremoveditandwentupstairs.Therewasnoonethereeither,soshewentoutofthebackdooranddownthegardenasfarasthehedgewhichseparateditfromthefieldwhereMrsCoffingrewhervegetables.

ShecalledMrsCoffinbynameonceortwice,gettingalittleworried,buttherewasnosoundotherthanthebirdsandsomebawlingcalvesinthefieldontheothersideofthelane.Sheturnedtogobacktothehouseandcalledoncemoreasshedidso,andthistimetherewasareply—afaintone,comingfromthefieldandsoundingsomehowhollow.ShestartedtorunandthenpulledupshortwhenMrsCoffin’svoicecameagainfromsomewhereunderthegroundandquiteclose.Emmastoodstillandcalledurgently,‘MrsCoffin—whereareyou?’andbegantocastabouther,andwhenMrsCoffin’svoicecameagain,shesawwhereshewas.Downadisusedwell,itsrottenlidsplinteredandlyingonthegroundaroundit,andpoorMrsCoffin’selderlyhandsgraspingitsedgewithdesperatestrength.

Emmawentdownonherknees,peeringdownasshedidso.‘Howlonghaveyoubeenthere?’andnotwaitingforareply.‘Hangonforjustanothermoment.’ShetookafirmgripofMrsCoffin’swristsandtriedtolifther,butMrsCoffin,

althoughsmallandslight,wastiredandafraidandcoulddonothingtohelpEmma.Shemumbled,‘I’vebeenhereabouttwentyminutes,Idon’tknowanymore.IcaughtmyfeetonaledgeasIfellandmanagedtoholdontotherim,butIcan’tholdonmuchlonger.’SheliftedawhitestrainedfacetoEmma’s,severalfeetaboveher.

‘Don’tworry,’saidEmmacheerfully,desperatelyworried.‘I’lltakethestrainforyou—Idon’tthinkIcanliftyou,butIcancertainlyholdyouupforalongtime,andsomeone’ssuretocomesoonerorlater.’

Whichremarksheknewwasoptimisticintheextreme.TherewasnoreasonforanyonetocomeupBadger’sCrossonaFriday—thebutchercameonSaturdays,sodidthebaker.EmmaswallowedanhystericalbubbleoflaughteratthethoughtofholdingMrsCoffin’swristsforanothertwenty-fourhours,andtoldherselfthathermotherwouldcertainlywonderwhereshehadgottobeforeverylong.ItwasapitythatEmmahadsaidassheleftthecottage,‘IfI’mnotbackforlunch,don’tworry,Mother,ifCarol’satthevicarageIexpectthey’llaskmetostay.’Carolwasanoldfriendandtheyhadgoneinandoutofeachother’shomeseversinceshecouldremember.Emma,recallingthisremarkwithpainfulclarity,knewthathermotherwouldn’tsuspectanythingamissuntilsometimeafterlunch,andasfarasEmmacouldguessnow,itwasn’tmuchpastnoon.

ShetookafirmergripandtoldMrsCoffinthatshehadtakenthekettleoffthestove.MrsCoffinthankedherpolitely,hervoicethinandhollow,thenwenton,mumblingalittle,‘IrememberedIwantedsomebeansandIthoughtI’djustpopandgetthembeforeIforgot.’HervoicediedawayandEmmafelthershudder,andplungedintoanaimlessmonologueaboutherwork,herholidayandallthevillagegossipshecouldremember—anythingtokeepMrsCoffin’smindoffherpredicament.Afterafewminutesshesaid,‘MrsCoffin,youcouldn’thangonforafewminuteswhileIrundownthelanetoTom’shouseandgethelp?Iknowhe’shome,Ispoketohimonthewayhere.’

MrsCoffin’svoicecameveryclearlyupthewallofthewell.‘Ifyouleaveme,Ishallfall.It’sadeepwell,Ishall—Ishall…’

‘No,youwon’t,’saidEmmahastily.‘Iwon’tleaveyou,don’tworry.Weshan’thavetowaitmuchlonger.’

Falsecheer,sheknewasshesaidit,butwhatelsewastheretosay?Thesungotwarmonthebackofherhead,thestrainonherwristswas

intolerable,andherkneesachedaswellasherback.Andalthoughshekeptupacheerfulone-sidedconversation,MrsCoffin’smonosyllabicrepliesgotfewerandweaker.Emmastoppedherchatterandlistened,asshehadbeenlisteningatintervalseversinceshehadfoundMrsCoffin.Birds,shethoughtwearily,andthosecalvesandthetreesrustlinggentlyinthealmoststillairandnow,thistime,

theclockinthechurchstrikingtwo…Therewasanothersoundtoo—footstepsandthecreakofthegateopeningandshutting.Emmadrewalongbreathandletoutanear-piercingwhistleandthen,onanotherdesperatebreath,ashout.ShehadhardlyfinishedtheshoutwhentheprofessordroppedtohiskneesbesideherandwithoutsayingawordclampedhishandsbelowhersonMrsCoffin’swristsandsaidinacuriouslyharshvoice:

‘Letgo,Emma,I’vegother.Howlonghaveyoubeenhere?’‘Almosttwohours.’Emmawasrubbingherwrists,unawareoftheirpain

becauseshewassohappytoseehim.‘MrsCoffinfellinabouttwentyminutesbeforeIarrived—shethinks.Herfeetareonaledge.Thewell’sdry,butit’sdeep.’Shecontinued,commonsensetakingoveroncemore:

‘She’squiteasmallwoman,abouteightstone,Ishouldthink,butshe’stiredandcan’thelp.’

JustinnoddedandwhenEmmalookedathisfaceshewassurprisedtoseehowwhiteitwas.HesaidquietlytoMrsCoffin,‘I’mgoingtopullyouupinamoment.Justholdfasttomywristsanddon’tbefrightened,we’llhaveyououtinnexttonotime.’

HebentlowerandEmmasawhisbroadshouldersbrace.Sheasked,staringathisstillstrangelywhiteface,‘Justin,canyoumanage—areyouallright?’

Heturnedtolookather,verybriefly.‘MydearEmma,nowthatI’vefoundyou,I’mcapableofmovingmountains.’Hesmiledwiththequietconfidenceofamanwhohadnodoubtastohiscapabilities.ShesupposeditwashisreliefinfindingthathecouldrescueMrsCoffinfairlyeasilywhichhadmadehimsaythat.

‘Doyouwantmetodoanything?’‘No,notatthemoment.’Heturnedbacktothewell,said,‘Now,Mrs

Coffin,’andbegantodrawherupwithsteadystrength.HecarriedMrsCoffinbacktothecottagewithEmmahurryingonaheadto

opendoors,andlaidhercarefullydownontotheoversizedchesterfieldwhichtookuponeentirewallofthesitting-room,andsheopenedhereyestosmileatthembothandmurmur,‘Howkind,’andasshespokeshefainted.Fiveminuteslatershewasstillunconscious,despitetheprofessor’sandEmma’seffortstoreviveher,andhercolour,whichhadbeenpoorinthefirstplace,hadbecomelivid.Theprofessorsatbackonhisheelsbesideherandtookherpulseoncemore.

‘Anyideaofhermedicalhistory?’heinquired.Emmashookherhead.‘No—DrHallettlooksafterherandshetoldmeonce

—agesago—thatshehadhighbloodpressure.’Theprofessorgrunted.‘Rundowntothevillage,deargirl,’heinvitedher,

‘andtelephoneDrHallett—askhimtocomeuphere.IshouldthinkMrsCoffinmightneedhospitaltreatment.There’snotmuchIcandowithoutmybag.’Headdedunhurriedly,‘Run,Emma.’

Emmaran.ShewentveryfastbecauseitwasdownhillallthewayandperhapsMrsCoffin’sverylifedependedonherspeedandbecauseJustinhadcalledherhisdeargirl.ShearrivedatthePostOfficeinaveryshorttimeindeedandMrsBeech,sensiblebodythatshewas,tookonelookatherfaceandsweptherthoughthelittleshoptothetelephoneattheback,andwhenEmmasaid‘DrHallett’ratherbreathlessly,gothisnumberatonceforher,sothatshehadafewsecondstogetherbreath,andwasabletogivehermessagewithoutalotofhuffingandpuffing.ItwasarelieftohearDrHallett’svoicesaying:

‘I’llbethereintenminutes,Emma,I’vebeenexpectingthisforsometime.She’llhavetogotohospital—getanambulanceorganizedlikeagoodgirl,willyou?’

Shewaswaitingoutsidetheshopwhenhedrewupafewminuteslaterandgoingupthehill,sittingbesidehim,shefilledinthebarebonesofhermessage,thenjumpedoutashedrewupbesideMrsCoffin’sgardengateandwentinwithhim.MrsCoffindidn’tlookanybetterandtheprofessorwasdoingartificialrespiration.Emmaleftthetwomentotheirworkandwentupstairstopackafewnecessitiesforthehospital,andwhenshegotdownagainMrsCoffin’scheekshadthemeresttingeofpinkinthem.

‘I’llfollowherin,’saidDrHallett.‘Emma,gointheambulance,willyou?Youcancomebackwithme—itshouldn’ttaketoolong.Sorrytospoilyourdayoff.’Helookedatherandthenattheprofessor;ashrewdglanceoverthetopofhispebbleglasses.‘Notbreakinganythingup,Ihope?’

‘No,ofcoursenot,’saidEmmahastily,wishingwithallherheartthathewere.‘We’reonlyhavingalazydayathome.’Asanafterthoughtsheadded,‘ShallIintroduceyou,ordidyoudothatyourselves?’

Shewasassuredthatshehadnoneedandasthereseemednopointinmentioningthatshehadmissedherlunchshefellsilent,andpresentlylookeduptofindtheprofessor’sgreeneyesinquiringlyuponher.Shefrownedathimandhesmiledveryfaintlyandsaidnothing—probablyhehadn’thadluncheither,shethoughtguiltily,andwasabouttosuggestthathemightliketogobacktothecottagewhenheanticipatedherbysaying,‘No,Emma,I’mnotinahurry.IdaresayDrHallettwillbegoodenoughtogivemealiftbacktothevillageashegoes.’

TheambulancearrivedthenandboreMrsCoffinandEmmaawaytoDorchester,whereEmmawaitedwithwhatpatienceshecouldmuster,readinglastyear’scopiesofWoman’sOwnandTheLadywhilethepatientwasborne

awaytoawardandDrHalletttalkedtothehousephysician.Itwasalmostfouro’clockbythetimeshegotintothecaronceagainandthedoctorturnedforMutchleyMagna.

‘Nicechap,thatfriendofyours,Emma,’DrHallettremarkedashepointedthecarnorth.‘Doyoufancyeachother?’

Emmawentpink,butshehadknownDrHallettsinceshehadbeenaverysmallgirlindeedandshewasusedtohisout-spokenremarks.

‘He’sonlyhere,’shedeclared,‘atSouthampton,thatis,foralittlewhile—todemonstratesometechniques.He’sachestsurgeon.He’sDutch.’

‘Noneofwhichanswersmyquestion,thoughperhapsyouhaveanswereditafterall,Emma.There’ssomechocolateintheglovecompartment—youmusthavemissedyourlunch.’

Emmagavehimagratefullook,asmuchfornotpersistingwithhisawkwardquestionsasforthechocolate.Whentheyarrivedatthecottageshesaid,‘Thankyouforthelift.Comeinandhavetea,youmustneeditandI’msureMotherwillhavesomeready.’

Theywentintothecottagetogether,straightthroughitslittlehallandoutofitsbackdoorbecauseeveryonewasinthegardenwithteaspreadoutcomfortablyaroundthem.MrsHastingsandKittygreetedthemwithcriesofwelcomeandtheprofessorgottohisfeet,butbeyondasmileandaquickwordhehadlittletosaytoEmma,contentinghimselfwithalongandearnestconversationwithDrHallett,sothatEmmawaslefttoanswerhermother’sandKitty’squestions.‘AndIpromisedtogobacktoMrsCoffin’shousethiseveningandmakesureeverythingwassafeandlockthefrontdoorforher.I’llgowhenI’vehadtea.’

‘No,I’llgo,darling,’saidKitty.‘You’vehadarottenafternoon—youliehereinthesunforanhour.I’vemadeahugepileofsandwichesforyou,foryouhadnolunch,didyou?’Sherolledoverthebettertolookattheprofessorandcalled,‘Hi,Justin,I’mgoinguptoMrsCoffin’spresentlytolockup—sheaskedEmmatodoit,butEmma’sdueanhourofpeaceandquiet.Comewithme?’

Hesmiledather.‘Yes,ofcourse,butdon’tmakeittoolate,Ithoughtwemightallgoouttodinner—there’sanicelittleinnatCerneAbbas.That’sifyouwouldallliketocome?’

HisinquiringeyebrowssweptthelittlecircleandKittyandMrsHastingsansweredatoncethatitsoundedlovelyandEmmasaid,‘Hownice,’moreslowly.ShewouldratherhavestayedhomeandgoneuptoMrsCoffin’swithJustin,buthewasobviouslygladtobegoingwithKittyand,sheremindedherselffirmly,itwouldbedelightfultolieonthegrassanddonothingforanhourorso.Theonlythingwas,whenshedidnothingshehadtimetothink,and

nowadaystheonlythoughtsshehadwereofJustin.Allthesameshewenttosleep,withthedogcurledupclosebesideherand

thelateafternoonsunbeatingdownwarmlyontoheruntidyhead.Shedidn’twakeupuntilKittycamebackintothegarden;itwasherlaughterwhichrousedherandsherolledoverontoaprotestingFlossietoseehersisterandJustinstandingbyher.Kittysaidatonce:

‘Hullo,Emma,didyouhaveagoodnap?JustintelephonedthehospitalandMrsCoffin’sOK—isn’tthatnice?Welockedup—I’vehungthekeyoverthedoorintheeaves.Areyoucomingintochange?’

Emmagottoherfeet.‘Yes,ofcourse.Istheregoingtobearunonthebath?’Shedidn’tlookattheprofessor.

‘No,Mother’salreadydressedandJustin’sgood-naturedenoughtosayhedoesn’tmindifthewater’snothot.Yougofirst,you’requickerthanIam.’

Theyallthreewentintothehouseandthetwogirlswentupstairsandtheprofessorwentintothesitting-roomtojoinMrsHastings.ItwaswhileEmmawasdoingherhairthatKitty,tearingintoherclothes,declared,‘Whatadearheis,Emma!Ican’tbelievehe’sforty—Imeanyouexpectmentobeabitstuffybythen,don’tyou,buthe’snot,andhedoesn’ttryandbehavelikeayoungmaneither,andheknowsexactlyhowtotreatawoman,doesn’the?’

Emmarakedacombthroughherhairandwincedwiththepain.‘Iwouldn’tknow,’shecommentedmildly;adirectantithesisofhertruefeelings.‘Wedon’tgettreatedlikewomenintheatre,youknow—justautomatons.’

Kittygaveherapiercinglookwhichshedidn’tsee.‘Emma,Iknowallaboutthat,butyou’renotinthetheatreallthetime.Whataboutcoffeetimeandtheoddchatbeforeyoustartwork—hasn’thetakenyouout?’

Emmagotupfromthestoolbeforethedressingtable.‘Well,yes.Once.Butonlybecausewe’dbeenupduringthenightandwehadabusydayafteritandhehappenedtomeetmeafterthelistwasfinished.Hewashungry,’shestatedflatly.‘Doesthisdressdo?’

Itwasaprettydress,brownandwhiteprintwithasmockedbodiceandbillowingsleeves.Itswhitecollarwasextravagantlylarge;thesleeveswereheldatthewristsbybrownsilkbands,anditsomehowturnedEmmaintoaprettygirl.

‘Smashing—sometimesyoulookprettierthanIdo,’commentedKittywithsisterlycandour.

Emmalaughed.‘Hownice,butnottrue,alas.TurnroundandI’llzipyouupattheback.Ilikethisdress.’

Kittylookeddownatherself.‘Yes,sodoI,bluealwayssuitsme.What’sLittleWillylike,Emma?’

SheleanedclosertothemirrorandputonalittlemorelipstickwhileEmmawatchedher.‘Tops,’Emmasaidbriefly,‘butabitshy.He’sagoodsurgeon.’

Kittynodded.‘Yes,Inoticedhewasshy.’Shesmiledtoherself.‘Ratherniceinthisdayandage.Helikesyou.’

‘Inacasualsortofway.Idon’tmakeeyesathim.’Kittygiggled.‘You’venevermadeeyesatanyone,Emma,whichmakesyou

averynicepersontoknow.Let’sgodown.’MrsHastings,intheblackandwhiteprintedsilkshekeptforbridgeparties,

theChurchbazaarandtheoccasionalvisittofriends’dinner-parties,lookedupastheywentintothesitting-room.Theprofessorwastheretoo,elegantingreysuitingofimpeccablecutandatieinwhichgoodtasteandhighfashionminglednicely.

‘Atlast!’saidtheirmother.‘Hadyouforgottenwe’regoingout?’Kittyblewherakiss.‘Darling,no—weweretalking,youknowhowitis.’

SheslippedacrosstheroomandtuckedanarmintoJustin’s.‘IwastellingEmmashewasprettierthanIwasandshewouldn’tbelieveme.’

Emmawentpink.‘Kitty,howabsurdyouare.Ican’tholdacandletoyouandyouknowit.’Sheturnedtohermother.‘Sorry,dear,butwe’rereadynow.’ShesmiledvaguelyforthebenefitoftheprofessorandmadeforthedoortostophalfwayasJustinsaidquietly,‘CouldwenotsettlethematterbysayingthatifEmmacannotholdacandletoyou,Kitty,noonecanholdacandletoEmma?’

Kittylaughed.‘Oh,nicelyput,Justin.Trustamanoftheworldtothinkofsomethingsosatisfyingforusboth!Let’sgo,I’mfamished.’

Theydinedinthepleasantrestaurantofthesmallcountryinnwiththeeveningsuncastingawarmglowtominglewiththesoftcandlelight.Theyatelobstercocktailsanddrankaverydrysherrywiththem,wentontosampletheCoqauVinwithawhiteBordeauxtoaccompanyit,thenafreshfruitsaladlacedwithCuraçaoandveiledinwhippedcream,andthroughouttheentiredelightfulmealtheprofessor,withoutappearingtodoso,ledtheconversationfromonelightheartedtopictothenext,neveroncetouchinguponhisownprivatelife,althoughhewaswillingenoughtotalk,inasomewhatreservedfashion,abouthiswork.Itwasn’tuntiltheyweredrinkingtheircoffeethatEmmacametotheconclusionthattheyhadtoldhimagreatdealaboutthemselves,atleast,hermotherandKittyhad;shehadbeencontenttoleavemostofthetalkingtothem,contenttoaddawordhereandthereandwatchunnoticedtheprofessor’sfacewithitshighjuttingnoseandmobilemouth.Onceortwiceshehadn’tbeenabletolookawayfastenoughandhehadstaredather,withoutsmiling.

TheydrovebackhomethroughthequietcountryroadsinthestilllightsummereveningandwhentheygotbackMrsHastingssaid,‘Ifitwon’tspoil

thatlovelydinner,shallwehavecoffee?’‘I’llgetit,’saidEmmabeforeanyoneelsecouldoffer,andwentthroughto

thekitchenandstartedonthebusinessofgrindingthecoffeeandputtingonthekettle.ShewasbendingoverthefridgelookingforthecreamjugwhenJustinwalkedin.

‘I’vecometocarrythetray,’heobservedpleasantly,andthensatdownonthetableandwatchedhersothatafterafewmomentsshegrewuncomfortableunderhislookandfeltcompelledtosaysomething.

‘Ienjoyeddinner,’shesaidatlength.‘Thankyouverymuch.’‘Thepleasure,’hesaidwithfaintamusement,‘wasmine.’Emmatumbledbrownsugarintothesilversugarbowlhermotherlikedto

use,evenwhentherewerenoguests.‘Oh,I’mglad.Yousee,it’snot—thatis,weleadratheraquietlife.You’renotbored?’

Hiseyesnarrowed.‘No,Emma,I’mnotbored.WhydoyouimaginethatIshouldbe?’

‘Well,’saidEmmatruthfully,‘Idon’tthinkthisisthewayyoulive.’Theprofessorputhishandsinhispocketsandaskedwiththeairofaman

abouttobeentertained,‘AndinwhatwaydoIlive?’Emmabangedtheteaspoonsintothesaucers.‘Youasksomanyquestions,’

shesnapped.‘HowshouldIknow?InHolland,ofcourse,inoneofthosesquarehouses…’Sherememberedallatoncethehousetheyhadstoppedtolookat.‘LikeahouseoutsideOudewater,’shewenton,talkingmoretoherselfthantohim.‘Itwastallandredbrick,andithadabigdoublegateofwroughtiron—veryelaborate—andagreatfrontdoor.Therewererowsofwindows—IrememberMothersaiditwouldtakehundredsofyardsofcurtainsandIsaidthatperhapstheywerestillusingtheoneswhichhadbeenhungwhenthehousewasbuilt.’

Hegaveheralookwhichdefiedunderstanding.‘Mostofthemare.They’retakendownandcleanedandrepairedfromtimetotimeandofcoursethey’refaded,butIlikethemlikethat,’andinanswertoEmma’sopen-mouthedstare,‘Yousee,it’smyhome.’Hesmiledsuddenly.‘Youlikedit,Emma?’

Shenodded,thememoryofherlongingtoseeitsinteriorstronginsideher.Asthoughhehadknownherthoughts,hesaid,‘It’sverybeautiful—alittleseverefromtheoutsideperhaps,butinside—onedayyoushallseeit,Emma.’

Shestillgoggledathim,likeanearnestchildtryingherbesttounderstand.Shesaidatlast,‘Well,Idon’tthinkthat’sverylikely.Ithought—theysaidyouworkedinUtrecht.’

‘SoIdo,butOudewaterisonlytenmilesorsoawayfromUtrecht.IgotoandfroeachdayunlessI’mawaylecturingortravelling.’

Emmatookthemilkoffthestovejustintime.‘Doyoutravelmuch?’‘Occasionally—notasmuchasIusedto,andnowIintendtosettledown

andshallhopetotravelevenless.’Emma,longingtoknowmoreandafraidtoaskincasehewouldsayinso

manywordsthathewasgoingtogetmarried,saidpleasantly:‘That’llbenice.Wouldyoucarrythetray?I’llbringthecoffee.’Later,inbed,sheregrettedhercowardiceinnotaskingtheonequestionshe

reallywantedtoknowtheanswerto.Itlookedasthoughshewouldneverknownowunlessshepluckedupthecouragetoask,forhewassingularlyunforthcomingabouthisownaffairs.ShesighedandturnedoverrestlesslyandKittyasked,‘Emma,whyareyouawake?AreyouworryingaboutMrsCoffin,dear?She’singoodhands.Itmusthavebeenhorridforyou.Nowgotosleep.I’llgetupinthemorningandseetothechickensandbringyouacupoftea.How’sthatforanobledeed?’

Emmasmiledintothedark.‘Lovely—onlydon’tletmesleeplate,willyou?Notinthisgorgeousweather,it’ssuchawasteoftime.’

Shedidn’tsleeplate,butshedidn’twakenwhenKittywentdownstairseither.Notuntilhersisterstoodoverherwiththepromisedteadidsheopenhereyes.Kittywasinoldslacksandshirttooandcontrivedtolookbewitchinginthem.Sheperchedontheendofthebedandsaid,‘Hullothere,here’syourtea.I’vedonethehenhouse—atleast,JustindiditformewhileIgottheeggs.He’soutsidenowmendingthatfenceatthebottomofthegarden.He’shandyabouttheplace,isn’the?It’saheavenlyday—wethoughtwemighttakeapicnicupontoBulbarrow.Hedoesn’tknowDorset—wecouldgotoBlandfordandoutonthatroadtoSturminsterNewtonandturnoffatShillingstone,thengothroughHaselburyBryanandacrossBlackmoor…’SherattledonwhileEmmadrankherteaandlistenedwithhalfanear.Apicnicwouldbefun,buttheywouldhavetocomehomeafterteaatthelatestandwhatonearthwouldtheydotoentertaintheirguestintheevening?Hehadsaidthathelikedasimplelife,butwasn’ttheirlifejustalittletoosimple?

Sheneednothaveworried.TheyspentthewholedaycrossingandrecrossingthebywaysofDorset,stoppingtoeatfirstapicniclunchandthenlaterboilingakettleandhavingtea,accompaniedbyoneofMrsHastings’satisfyingcakes,beforetheywenthome,andalthoughtheprofessorshouldbyrightshavesatreadingabookorwatchingtelevisionwhiletheygotthedinner,hedidnothingofthesort,butlaidthetableandwentdowntotheBraceofPheasantsforabottleofwine,thensettledhimselfinthegardenoncemoretohelpKittysortouthernotes.AndafterdinnerhewashedupwhileKittydriedthedishesandEmmawenttoshutthehensupforthenightandMrsHastings

potteredtoandfro,happilydoingnothing.TheyplayedScrabblefortherestoftheevening,andtryasshewould,Emmacoulddetectnosignsofboredomintheprofessor’smanner.

LittleWillyarrivedshortlyaftereleventhenextmorning,whichmeantthathehadeitherdriventhewholewayatninetymilesanhourorhadleftconsiderablyearlierthanteno’clock,butnoone,leastofalltheprofessor,askedhimaboutit,andhejoinedtherestoftheminthelittlebackgardenanddrankhiscoffeerathershyly,althougheveryonewasatgreatpainstoputhimathisease.Presentlytheircombinedeffortshadtheireffectandhewaslaughingandtalkingasthoughhehadknownthemall,andnotjustEmma,foryears,andwhenhemadesomeremarktotheprofessorandaddressedhimassir,hewasbeggednottobeafool,butcallhimJustinlikeeveryoneelse.

Hegrinnedsheepishlyandsaid,‘Thanks,Iwill,thoughIdon’tsupposeit’stherightthingtodo,becauseIshallhavetocallyousiragaintomorrow.’

Theprofessorrolledoverlazily,selectedabladeofgrassandbegantochewit.‘That’swhatEmmasays,andbyallmeanscallmesirtomorrow,butnot,Ibegofyou,today.’Herolledbackagainandclosedhiseyes.‘Woulditbeagoodideatogosomewhereforaswim?Isthereanywherequietwithinfiftymilesorso?’

EmmaandKittysaid‘Lulworth’togetherandMrsHastingsadded:‘Youyoungthingsgo,I’mgoingtolazeaboutreadingtheSundaypapers.

Whatdoyouwanttodo—takesandwiches,orcomebackforalatelunch?’‘Sandwiches,’saidJustinpromptly.‘Ifyou’lltelluswhatwecanhaveWill

andIcanseetothem—he’shandywithaknifetoo.’Therewasgenerallaughteratthisandaconcertedmovementindoorswhere

thesandwicheswerecut,swimsuitsfound,andMrsHastings,whowasagoodmother,gaveadviceaboutnotlyingabouttoolonginthehotsunandnottoswimimmediatelyaftertheyhadeaten.

Butthesea,whentheyreachedit,lookedtooinvitingforthemtobotherwithlunchandtheydispersedtochangeintoswimminggearandplungedin.AtleasttheprofessorandLittleWillyandKittyplunged,whileEmma,whocouldswim,butonlyinanunspectacularway,advancedmorecautiouslyandswam,withequalcaution,nottoofarandthenbackagainuntiltheprofessor,whohadwatchedherrepeatherprudentsortiesseveraltimes,camebacktojoinher.Hesaidinamatter-of-factvoice:

‘Youswimquitewell,Emma—youcouldmanagehalfamile,youknow.Ifweswimtogether,I’llhelpyouifyougettired.’Hewaslyingonhisbackinthecalmwaterlookingattheskyandnotatheratall.

‘Thatwon’tbemuchfunforyou,’declaredEmma.‘I’venonerve,you

know:I’mliabletopanicanddroplikeastone.’Shebegantoswimsedatelyawayfromhim;shehadwatchedhiminthewater—heswamwiththespeedandstrengthtomakeherowneffortsappearludicrous.

Hisvoicecamefromclosebesideherandturningherheadcautiouslyshesawthathewasidlingalongbesideher,keepingpacewithherhardworkingefforts.

‘I’llbeyournerve,’hepromised,‘andifyoufeellikesinking,justmentionitandI’llswimforbothofus.It’sjustaquestionofyoutrustingme.’

Putlikethattherewasnothingmoretobesaid.Sheturnedherfaceseawardsandpresently,whentheprofessorsaidinherear,‘Tired?’shenodded.

‘We’llrestabitthen.Turnoverontoyourback.’‘Youmustbejoking,’shesaidflatly.‘I’vetriedandIfoldupinthemiddle.’Sheheardhimchuckle.‘Notthisway,youwon’t,’andheflippedheroverso

thatshelaybesidehimwithhisarmunderhershoulders.‘Relaxalittle,’hebesoughther,‘you’reasstiffasapoker.Turnyourheadandlookatme,Emma.’

Shedidso,cautiously,astonishedthatnothingawfulhappened,andhesmiledather.‘See?NowI’mgoingtoshowyouhowtodothecrawl,there’snoearthlyreasonwhyyoushouldn’t.’

‘No?’Emmafeltuncertainandatthesametimecompelledtogoon.‘Arewealongwayfromthebeach?’Shekepthereyesonhisfacebecauseshewasafraidtolookandthenpanic.

‘No.We’llturnandgobacknow.’Heflippedheroverandkeptasteadyinghandonherstill.‘NowdoasIsay.’

Shedid,andincredibly,sheneitherfelllikeastonenorpanicked,althoughshewassecretlymuchrelievedtofeelthegroundunderherfeetoncemore.

Shetriedagainbeforetheyleftthebeachandthistime,whencommandedbytheprofessortotreadwaterandseehowfarshehadswumfromtheshore,didsoandwasastonishedandalittlescaredtoseejusthowfaritwas.

‘Yousee?’hisvoicewasreassuringlycalm.‘Youswimverywell,onlyyoudidn’tknowit.Youmustpractiseyourcrawltoo.’

Shesaidmeeklythatshewouldandthankedhimandsatquietlybesidehimwhilehedroveback,tryingnottothinkabouthimandfailingutterly.

ItwasaftertheyhadeatenthevastteaMrsHastingshadreadyforthem,whiletheywerealllyingonthegrasssoakingupthesunandtalkingaboutnothinginparticular,thatKittyremarked:

‘Oh,lord,howawfultohavetogobacktoLondon,andsoearlyinthemorningtoo.Ican’tbearit!’

‘Whydon’tyougoupwithWillthisevening?’askedtheprofessorgently.HelookedacrossatLittleWilly,whohadcomeerectandwasstaringathim.

‘Youhavetogoupthisevening,don’tyou,Will?I’msurprisedyouhadn’tthoughtofitbefore.’

Heclosedhiseyes,apparentlynolongerinterestedinthesubject,butKittyexclaimed,‘Will,areyoureallygoinguptotown?MayIcomewithyou,then?It’llbemarvelloustogothewholewaybycar—thetrain’salwayspackedonMondaymornings.’

Willsaidquickly—almosttooquickly—’Yes,Iam.I—Ishouldhaveaskedyoubefore,butIdidn’tthinkitwouldbeanygood.I’dlovetohaveyou.WoulditbeOKifweleftabouthalfpasteight?’

‘Smashing,’saidKitty,andshesoundedveryhappy.‘Mother,youdon’tmind?’

Emma,sittingbetweenLittleWillyandhermother,glancedacrossattheprofessor,stilllyingprone.Hiseyeswereshut,hishandsomefaceturneduptothestillwarmearlyeveningsun.Helooked,shethoughtwithsuddensuspicion,extremelypleasedwithhimself.

ShegaveventtohersuspicionthefollowingmorningastheydrovebacktoSouthampton.Theprofessorhadbeenunusuallytalkativeaboutavarietyofsubjects,almostasthoughhedidn’twanthertointroduceanyothertopicthanthosewhichhemightchoose,butshetookadvantageofapausewhilehenegotiatedaparticularlytrickysnarl-upofthetrafficandaskedhim,‘DidWillyreallyhavetogotoLondon?Ifounditverystrangethathehadn’tsaidawordtome.’

Theprofessor,judginghisdistancetoaninch,extricatedtheRollsfromthetrafficaroundthem,andgaveherherhead.‘Andwasthereanyreasonwhyheshould?’Hisvoicewasmildandonlyfaintlyinterested.

‘No,notparticularly,only—itseemsfunny—ImeanwhatcouldhepossiblywanttogotoLondonfor?’

‘Notyourbusiness,surely,Emma.’Hercompanion’svoicewassilkyandsheflushed.

‘No,ofcourseit’snot,it’sjust…’Shepaused,unabletoputintowordssomethingwhichwasonlyadimideainherhead.

Theprofessor,stillsilky,wentoneasily,‘Asuspicion?Quiteright,Emma.HehadnoideahewasgoingtoLondonuntilItoldhimso.’

‘Whyonearth…?’beganEmma,thoroughlybewildered.‘Mydeargirl,surelyyoucouldseeforyourselfthatWillisbesottedwith

Kitty?Itseemedagoodchancetogivehimahelpinghand.’Ahelpinghandoraclevermoveontheprofessor’sparttobringhisrival

intotheopen?Emmaponderedtheideaanddiscardeditasunworthyofhim.Shelaughedinstead.‘Well,whatathingtodo—Ithoughthewasinterested,but

not—notbesotted.He’ssoshy,andnice,’sheaddedfiercely.Ifheheardthefiercenesshegavenosign.‘Irealizethatinterferinginsucha

matterisunpardonable.Imustconfessthatit’ssomethingIwouldn’ttolerateinanyoneelse.’

Emmastoppedlaughing.‘No,’shesaid,stillfierce,‘you’retooarrogant—you’rethelastmanonearthtoneedit.’

‘MeaningI’manexperiencedphilanderer?’thesilkwasbackinhisvoice,sowaslaughter,‘abletoconductmyownaffairs?’

Emmapeepedathim.Despitethelaughhewasfrowning,hisbrowsjuttingalarminglyabovehishaughtynose.‘No,’shesaidplacatingly,‘thatisn’tquitewhatImeant.IthinkwhatIwastryingtosaywasthatyou’remoreexperiencedandyou’velivedlonger…’

Shestoppedathisshoutoflaughter.‘NowI’mMethuselah!Oh,Emma,howyoudocutmedowntosize!’

Whichremarksurprisedherverymuch.Shehadtriednottothinkaboutitseveralhourslater,when,incompanywitharemarkablycheerfulWillyandtherestofthetheatrestaff,shewasstandingatthetheatretableandtheprofessorhadgivenherawhollyimpersonallookabovehismaskandaskedinanequallyimpersonalvoice,‘Ready,Sister?’andshehadansweredwithacalmwhichbynomeansreflectedherfeelings:

‘Quiteready,sir.’

CHAPTERFIVE

ITWASwhiletheywereall—Emma,theprofessor,MrBone,LittleWillyandPeterMoore,havingaquick,latecupofcoffeeafterthelistthatthetelephonerang,andwhenEmmaansweredit,Kitty’svoice,gayinherear,said,‘Ibetyou’resurroundedbymen.’

‘Well,’saidEmmacautiously,‘asamatteroffact,Iam—we’veonlyjustfinished.’ShefrownedatWillwhowaspreparingtogoasKittywenton.‘Good,beadarlingandletmespeaktoWill.’

Emmahandedhimthereceiverwithabrief‘Foryou,Will,’andwasrewardedbyagloweringlookandafrowninhisturnsothatshefeltconstrainedtoask,‘Shallwego?’

‘Ofcoursenot.’HewaslisteningtoKittynowandlooked,asfarashisrathercraggyfacewouldpermit,excited.Buttheconversationwasn’ttheleastexciting,itconsistedofyesandnoandthennoagainuntilhegrinnedsuddenlyandhandedthereceiverinhisturntotheprofessorwhotookitwithoutanyshowofinterestandaftersaying,’Justinhere’,listenedwithoutawordwhileKittytalkedatgreatlength.HisanswerswereassparseandunilluminatingasWill’shadbeen,onlyhefinishedupbysayingthathewouldbedelightedbeforehandingthereceiverbacktoEmma,who,consumedbycuriosity,wasunabletoforbearfromasking,‘Kitty,isanythingthematter?’

‘Nothing—justsomethingIwantedtoask.’‘Oh,surgicaladvice.’Emmafeltrelievedwithoutknowingwhy.‘Somethinglikethat.‘Byefornow,darling.’Emmaputthereceiverdownandlookedroundthecircleoffacesdeciding

whichoneshewouldquestionfirst,butbeforeshecouldspeakJustinsaidsmoothly,

‘Ishouldliketoswitchthefirstcasetosecondplacetomorrowifyoucouldarrangeit,Sister.ShallIwarnthewardorwillyou?’Andwhenshesaidthatyes,shewouldseetoithegottohisfeetandtheothersgotupwithhim.Theyfiledoutafterhim,echoinghispolite,‘Goodafternoon,SisterHastings.’

WhentheyhadgoneEmmasaton,idlebehindherdesk.TheyhadwishedherfarewellinthesametonestheyusedforSisterCox;polite,impersonalandgivingtheimpressionthattheyreallydidn’tcareiftheyneversawheragain.ThegrimthoughtthatshemightbegettinglikeMadMinniecrossedhermind,

butwhensheaskedLittleWillyaboutitthenextmorninghetoldhernottobeafoolandwasn’tshegettingtoosensitivethesedays?

ThedayspiledtidilyoneontopofthenextandEmma,seeingJustineachday,triedtofindthedelightfulcompanionoftheweekendlurkingbehindhisplacidface,butfailed.Hewaskind,pleasantandconsiderateandononlytwooccasionsdidhedemonstrateanysignofthetemperwhichwassupposedtomatchthefierinessofhishair.ThefirsttimewaswhenPeterMooresworevividlywhenhedroppedtheretractors,usingwordswhichEmma,abroad-mindedgirl,wincedat,andeventheprofessorhadn’tsaidverymuch,merelypointingoutinanicyvoicethatMrMooremightcontainhisfeelingsuntilhewasinmoresuitablecompany;buthehadcasthimawitheringglancefromhisgreeneyeswhichhadcausedthatyoungmantogetscarletinthefaceandtenderahastyapology.ThesecondtimehadbeenNurseCully’sfault,forshehadconsideredthatJessopwasbeingtooslowinofferingthereceiverforthatportionofthepatient’sanatomywhichtheprofessorhadseenfittoremoveandshehadsnatchedthereceptaclefromJessop’shandatexactlythewrongmomentandjusttoolatetocatchtheprofessor’soffering,whichhadfallenmessilytothefloorasaconsequence,andtomakemattersworse,Cullyhadgiggled.Withoutpausinginthetyingofligatures,hehadflashedheranotherwitheringlookandremarkedtartlythatperhapsitmightbeaswellifsheweretoattendtoherownworkandallowNurseJessoptoperformherowntasks.

HehadfollowedthisupwithanaustereapologytoEmmaforencroachinguponherpreserves,deliveredsocoldlythatshefelt,mostunfairly,thatthewholeepisodehadbeenherfaultinthefirstplace.Her‘Don’tmentionit,sir,’wasjustastartanddeliveredwithgreatdignity,disconcertinglyansweredbyachucklebehindtheprofessor’smask.

Later,whentheywerescrubbing-upforthenextcase,heapologizedagain,thistimeveryhandsomely,addingtheopinionthatitwasapitythatSisterCoxhadn’tbeentheresothatshecouldhavehadproofoftheill-temperhewasreputedtoinflictuponthosewhoworkedforhim.

‘Oh,you’renotill-tempered,’saidEmmagenerously.‘Why,we’vehadsurgeonswhothrewinstrumentsontheflooriftheygotputout—sotime-wasting.’

‘YouwillberelievedtohearthatIdon’t,asageneralrule,throwthingsabout,’Justinreplied.HestooduprightandallowedCullytotiehimintohisgown.‘Areyougoinghomefortheweekend,Emma?’

HerpleasedmindregisteredthefactthathehadcalledherEmma.‘Yes,butnotuntilSaturdaymorning.Ishallleaveearly,Ilikedrivingthen—

besides,’sheaddedinaburstofcandour,‘there’snotsomuchontheroads.’

AremarkwhichcalledforthagentlesmilefromtheprofessorandaheartylaughfromLittleWilly,who,despitehisretiringnature,becametransformedwhenhegotintohiscaranddrovewithanonchalantsangfroidwhichEmmafoundquiteunnerving,althoughshewasatalosstounderstandwhyJustin’sdriving,whilejustasnonchalant,lefthercompletelyatease.

FridaywasabusydayaswellasbeingEmma’sbirthday.Shehadfirstofallthoughtthatshewouldgohomeintheeveningandcelebratetheeventwithhermother,butonelookattheday’slistdecidedheragainstthis;shewouldnevergetawayintime,besides,shewouldbetootired.TheywouldgooutontheSaturdayinstead,lunchperhaps,oratriptoDorchesterorYeovilandteasomewhere.Shelookedathercardsandthegiftsshehadreceivedfromherfamilyandfriendsandtoldherselfhowluckyshewastohavesomanypeopletorememberher.Thewild,extravagantthoughtthatitwouldhavebeenevenmoresatisfactoryiftheprofessor,insomemysteriousway,hadknownaboutherbirthdayandhadgivenhersomegift—apearlnecklace?apairofdiamondearrings?aminkcoat…no,itwashardlytheseasonforminkcoats,theyweremoresuitableforChristmas…sheburstoutlaughingatherpreposterousimaginationandwenttoinspectthetrolleys.

Theday’slistendedatlastandtheprofessorhurriedawaywithavaguewordorsoaboutanappointmentandWillhurriedafterhim,toreturnhalfanhourlater,justasEmmawasbeginningontheneedles,toaskhertogooutwithhimthatevening.

Shelookeddoubtfullyathim.‘Oh,Will,it’shalfpastsixandIcan’tleaveStafftodomorethanshe’sdoingatthemoment.There’sonlyMrsTateonwithheruntileightandwemustleaveeverythingready—supposingsomethingcamein?’

‘Iknowallaboutthat,Emma.It’snotgoingtotakeyouallthattime,isit?Beasport.’

ShesupposedhewantedtotalkaboutKitty.Sheinspectedaround-bodiedneedlewithcare,frownedatitandthrewitout.‘Allright,I’llcome.Whereareyougoing—Pip’s?’

‘No,’Willsoundedflurried,‘andwearthatbrownandwhitedress.’Emmalookedathiminpuzzledastonishment.‘Brownandwhitedress?’she

repeated.‘Butyou’veneverseenit.’Heavoidedhereye.‘Kittytoldmeaboutit.’‘Well,that’safunnyreasonforwearingit,butIsupposeit’sasgoodasany.’

Sheglancedattheclock.‘I’llbeoutsideathalfpastseven.’Itwastwentypastthehourwhenshereachedhiscar,wearingthebrownand

whitedressandsmellingdeliciouslyofQuelquesFleurs,butbeyondahurried,

‘Youlooknice,Emma,’whichwasnomorethanshehadexpected,Willhadlittletosay.Itwasonlywhenhehaddrivenrathertoofastthroughthecitythatsheasked,‘Wherearewegoing?IthoughtyousaidPip’s?’

‘Ithoughtwe’dgosomewhereelse.’Emmanoddedinagreement.‘Whynot?’TheideathatWillmighthave

discoveredthatitwasherbirthdaycrossedhermind,tobeatoncedismissed;evenifheknew,hewasunlikelytomarktheoccasionwithanouting.Muchmorelikely,shethoughtshrewdly,herfirstguesswastherightone;hewantedtotalkaboutKitty.Anditseemedshewasright,forwhenshementionedthatyounglady’sname,hewasdisposedtotalkatsomelengthaboutherandonlypausedwhentheyturnedinatHambleManor.Emmapeeredroundher.‘Look,’shesaidwithallthefreedomofanoldfriend,‘I’mnotonetoturnmybackonagooddinner,butthisisn’tanythinglikePip’s.’Sheglancedathercompanion.‘We’reonlygoingtoeat,’shepointedout.

Willsmiled,butnotather—overhershoulderatsomeonebehindher,someonewhowasopeningthecardoorandinvitinghertogetout.Justin.

Hesaid,‘Ahappybirthday,Emma,’tookherunresistingarmandhelpedheroutandthenstoodsmilingdownather,andEmma,staringback,hadtoadmittoherselfthatshelovedhimmorethaneverbefore,quiteunawarethatdespitetheserenityofherface,hereyesweretroubled—somethingtheprofessorwasquicktosee,forhishandtightenedonherarmandhebegan‘Emma?’thenstoppedandstaredagaininhisusualcalm,almostlazymanner.‘YourmotherandKittyarehere.Iknowyou’retired,but…’

‘DoIlookawful?’Emmainstantlywantedtoknow.Heshookhishead.‘Youlookdelightful.Comeandenjoyyourself—youcan

sleepitofftomorrow.’Shewasonthepointofremindinghimthatsheintendedtoleaveveryearly

thenextmorning,butthatmightseemungrateful.Shegavehimasweetsmileinsteadand,urgedongentlybyhishand,enteredthehotel.

HermotherandKittywerehavingdrinks,andso,surprisingly,wasMrBone,andasWilljoinedthem,Justinsaid:

‘Ihateunevennumbersattable.Sixseemedjustright,don’tyouthink?’andsheagreedwithoutreallylisteningbecauseshewasstillgettingoverhersurprise.WhentherewasalittlepauseinthegeneralbabeloftalksheaskedKitty,‘Howdidyouarrangeit?Whothoughtofit?’

Kittylaughed.‘Ithoughtofit—IwantedWilltocomeupandfetchme,butofcoursehecouldn’tgetaway,soJustincameasfarasWinchesterandmetmytrain,andafinerushitwas,Icantellyou—wethoughtwe’dnevermakeitbeforeyougothere.MrBonefetchedMother;thatwasJustin’sideatoo.’

‘That’swhyyoutelephoned?’‘Yes—wasn’titamarvellousidea?’‘Lovely,Kitty.Howareyougoingback?’‘Will’stakingmealltheway.’‘AndMother?’Sheglancedovertowherehermotherwassitting,talkingto

theprofessorandMrBone.‘MrBone’stakingcareofher.Hesayshelikestravellingatnight.’‘Yes,’saidEmma,‘butwhatabout…?’Shewasinterruptedbyhermotherwhowantedadetailedaccountofthe

cardsshehadhadandthepresentsshehadreceived.Shewasonlyhalf-waythroughthemwhentheheadwaitercametowhisperdiscreetlyintheprofessor’sear,andtheyallwentintodinner.

Thefoodwasdeliciousandhadbeenorderedbeforehand.Emmadiscoveredherselftobehungryandthechampagnewhichaccompanieditgaveherapleasurableifslightlywoollyfeeling.ShesatbetweenMrBoneandtheprofessor,andprobablybecauseofthechampagne,rememberedtocallhimJustin.

Shewashalfwaythroughthedessertofchocolatesoufflé,lavishlymantledinwhippedcreamandalmonds,whenshebegantowonderhowshewastogetbacktohospital.PerhapsWillwoulddropheroffasheandKittywenttoLondon.Shewasonthepointofleaningacrossthetabletoaskhimwhenthewaiterbroughtinthebirthdaycake,completewithcandles,alltwenty-sixofthem.Itwassetbeforeher,thecandleslightedandherhealthdrunkbeforetheprofessorsaidgaily:

‘Blowyourhardest,Emma.Rememberyou’llgetawishwiththecandles.’Shetookadeepbreathandblewandwasawareasherbreathfailedthathe

wasblowinggentlybesidehertodousetheremainder.‘Nowitwon’tcometrue,’shesaidsadly.Herwishhadbeenanimpossible

oneanyway.‘Oh,yes,itwill,’Justinsoundedquiteconvinced.‘Yousee,Iwishedthe

samewish.’Shepickedupthecakeknifewithahandwhichshookalittle.‘That’s

impossible—Imeanitwassomethingthatcouldn’tpossiblyhappen.’Hesmiled.‘We’llsee,’wasallhesaid.Thepartybrokeupsoonafterthatandhermotherkissedhergoodbyewitha

cheerful,‘Seeyoutomorrowmorning,darling,’beforeshewentawaywithMrBone,andKittyembracedherbrieflywiththeremarkthatshewasgladshehadthoughtofthewholethingandhadn’titbeenfunandshewouldletEmmaknowwhenshewasfree.Thenshewasgonetoo,withWillbesideher,holdingherarm

asthoughshewasfragilechina.Emmaturnedround,ratheratalosstoheartheprofessorsay,‘Ifyou’renottootired,howaboutgoingbackatourleisure?’

Emmaagreedthatitwouldbenice,andforthesecondtimethateveningforborefromremindinghimthatsheintendedgettingupearlyanditwasalreadywellpastteno’clockandthatshehadn’tpackedsomuchasahanky,letalonewashedherhair.ButitwascertainlypleasanttobedrivenalongthequieterroadswhileJustintalkedplacidlyaboutavarietyofunimportantsubjects.Theyhadbeenclearoftheoutskirtsofthecityforsometimebeforesheventuredtoinquirewheretheyweregoingandwasshockedintosittinguprightwhenhesaidcalmly,‘TheNewForest,’andthenonalaugh,‘don’tworry,Emma,I’monlyworkingroundthecity.WeshouldlandupinBeaulieueventually—wecanturnbackfromthere.’

Itwasawarmlateevening,withapalemoon,almostfull,battlingwiththelastofthelongdaylightsothatthecountrysidewasetchedinblackandwhitewashedwithpalecolour.TheywererunningintotheForestnow,nottravellingfast,andpresentlyJustinslidtheRollsontothegrassbesidetheroadandswitchedofftheengine.

‘Yourbirthday’salmostover,’hecommentedpleasantly.Emmaturnedherheadtolookathim.Themoonlighthadturnedhishairto

nocolouratallandhademphasizedhisnose—hisfacelookedasthoughithadbeenengravedinsteel,onlyhiseyeswerealive.

Shesaid,‘Yes,butitwasalovelyone,unexpectedpartiesalwaysare.Wehaven’thadafamilygatheringlikethatforquiteatime.’Asshespokesherememberedthegaypartiestheyhadhadbeforeherfatherdiedandsighed.‘Iexpectyouhaveabigfamilypartyonyourbirthday,don’tyou?TheDutchliketodothat,don’tthey?’

‘Ihavenofamily—noclosefamily.’Heturnedtowardsherandslidanarmalongthebackofherseatwithouttouchingher.‘Myfatherdiedtenyearsagoandmymothertwoyearslater.Ihadabrotherandasister—hewastenyearsolderthanIandmysisterwaseightyearsolder.WhenthewarbrokeoutIwaseightandtheywereteenagers.TowardstheendofthewartheyjoinedtheDutchUnderground.TheywerekilledwhenIwaseleven.’

Emmasaidwithswiftpity,‘Oh,Justin,I’msosorry.Howterribleforyouall,andhowlonely.’Shewentonimpulsively,‘Youshouldhavemarried,’andstopped.

‘Yes,Ishould,’heagreedblandly.‘It’sunfortunatethatIhappentobeamanwhoisunabletoputupwithsecondbest.IprefertowaituntilthegirlIwanttomarryisreadyforme.’

Sotherewasagirl.EmmarememberedSaskia,whohadfadedintoa

comfortabledreamandhadsuddenlybecomeverymuchaliveagain.Sheswallowedsuddenintensemiseryandsaidwarmly,‘Well,aslongasyou’vegotsomeone,evenifyoudohavetowait.’

‘Areyouwaitingtoo,Emma?’‘No,’saidEmmableakly,‘I’mnot.’‘YetIfancyyoumusthavehadyourchancestomarrybeforenow?’‘Whatmakesyousaythat?’Heignoredherquestion.‘AmIright?’‘Yes,butonlytwice,andonewasamiddle-agedwidower.’‘I’mmiddle-aged,Emma,andImaybeawidower.’Emmasaidinstantly,‘No—you’renot,areyou?’Shetriedtoseehisface,butthemoonlightplayedtricks;hiseyesgleamed,

whetherwithamusementorangershedidn’tknow.‘AndwoulditmakeanydifferenceifIwere,Emma?’Shegaveuptryingtoreadhisexpressionandstaredoutofthewindow

instead.Afteramomentortwoshesaidwithperfecttruth,‘Noneatall,’andallthesamewasextravagantlyrelievedwhenhereplied:

‘Well,I’mnot.AsIsaid,IhavewaitedpatientlyandIthinktheyearsofwaitingwillbeworthwhile.’

Shewasdigestingthiswhenheaskedtosurpriseher,‘Youdon’tmindthatLunnhasfallenforKitty?’

Shegapedfoolishly.‘Mind?WhyshouldI?Wearen’t—thatis,he’s—Idon’tfrightenhim,’shefinished,ratherlamely.

‘Ah,yes,Icanunderstandthatperfectly.’Justin’sremarkdeflatedpoorEmma,foritcouldonlymeanthathethoughtofherinthesameway,akindofUniversalComrade,tofillagap—quitesafelyandwithoutfearofanyfeelingsbeinginvolved.ForafewmomentssheallowedherselfthepleasureofhatingSaskiaandcarriedawaybyherfeelings,askedbeforeshehadstoppedtothink,‘WhoisSaskia?’

Iftheprofessorfoundherremarkinanywayextraordinaryherefrainedfromsayingso.

‘Acharminggirl,isn’tshe?Andpretty.Sheisacousin.’Cousin!thoughtEmmafiercely.Cousinscouldbethriceremoved,oreven

furtherthanthat,sothattheyneednolongerseeeachotherasfamily…‘Perhapsweshouldgoback,’shesuggested.TheytalkedagreatdealgoingbacktoSouthampton,safetopicswhich

Emmaintroduced,guaranteednottolapseintoanythingpersonal.SheworkedherwaythroughWimbledon,Testcricket,thegrowingofroses,touchedlightlyonsmallantiques,andwhenthepausesbecametoolengthy,theweather.Inallof

whichtheprofessorfollowedherwithappropriatecommentsandobservations.ItwasonlyashewassettingherdownattheNurses’Homedoorthatheremarked,halflaughing,‘Ihadnoideayouweresuchachatterbox,Emma—orwereyouafraidImightstartaconversationofmyown?’

Sheblushedinthedark.‘Oh,’shefaltered,‘didIboreyou?’‘Onthecontrary,youentertainedmeverymuch.’Whichhadn’tbeenherintentionatall.Shethankedhimagainforher

eveningandwentuptoherroom,whereshemadeshortworkofgettingintobed,determinednottothinkanymoreabouthernotentirelysatisfactorybirthday.

Shewasupbetimestofindthemorninggreyandwet.Shedressedquickly,drankahastycupofteawhichshemadeinthelittlekitchenattheendofthecorridor,packedasmallbag,andenvelopedinherraincoatandaheadscarf,creptquietlythroughtheSisters’quartersandouttotheforecourt.TheFordwaswhereshehadleftit,andnexttoitwastheRolls,withtheprofessorsittingatitswheel,smokingapipe.Despitetheearlinessofthehourhelookedwellrestedandexquisitelyturnedout.Shemadetopasshim,butheknockedouthispipe,gotoutwithunexpecteddispatch,tookherbagfromherandsaid,‘Goodmorning—IshouldhavementionedlastnightthatIwouldbetakingyouhomethismorning.Dojumpin.’

Hetossedthebagontothebackseatandopenedthedooralittlewiderforhertoenter.Emmadidnosuchthing,foralthoughshewoulddearlyhavelovedtogowithhimshewasn’tagirltogiveintamelytohigh-handednesssuchashis.Shesaidcoldly,‘Goodmorning,I’msorry,butIintendtodrivemyowncar.’

Shecouldhavesparedherbreath.‘Jumpin,’heinvited,‘there’sagoodgirl.Youmustseehowridiculousitisforustousetwocarswhenonewoulddo.’

Hesmiledcharminglyatherandputalarge,persuasivehandonhershoulderandwithoutmeaningtointheleast,shecapitulated.Whenshewassittingbesidehimandhewasonthepointofstarting,shedeclared,‘Thisisallverywell,youknow,butIhavetocomebacktomorrowevening.’

‘Thathasbeentakencareof.Haveyouhadbreakfast?Idohopenot,forIthoughtwewouldstopinDorchester—Inoticedaplaceatthetopofthetownwhenwewentthrough.’Heidledthebigcarthroughthehospitalgatesintothealmostemptystreet.

‘WhyareyougoingtoMutchleyMagna?’demandedEmma.‘Youneversaidaword—nordidMother.’Sheaddedwaspishly,‘Idon’tthinkIlikebeingtakenforgranted.’

Heslowedthecarandpulledintothekerbandturnedtolookather.Hisvoicewasbland.‘Myapologies,Ihadnoideathatyouwouldobjecttocoming

withme.I’lltakeyouback.’HestretchedoutahandtotheignitionjustasEmmastretchedoutaquick

handandgavehisarmanurgentshake.‘No,oh,no,’shespokeveryfast,‘Ididn’tmeanthat,reallyIdidn’t,not—notinthewayyouthinkIdid.Ilikebeingwithyou.’

Shestoppedbeforeshesaidsomethingshemightbesorryforlateron,butshewashonestnottolookawayfromhislevelgaze.Hissmilechangedsubtly,envelopingherinitswarmth.

‘Now,isn’tthatnice?’saidtheprofessormildly.‘Ilikebeingwithyoutoo,Emma,whichclearsupthematterveryeasily,doesn’tit?’

Heeasedthecarawayfromthekerbandwhennexthespokeitwasmerelytoremarkinanordinaryvoicethatwithanylucktheyshouldbeatbreakfastwithinthehour.Whichwastrueenough—theyatetheirwaythrougheggsandbacon,largequantitiesofbutteredtoast,andconsumedseveralcupsofcoffeebeforetakingtheroadtoMutchleyMagna,ajourneywhichtheycompletedinanatmosphereofgreatgoodhumourandwiththecomfortablefeelingonEmma’spartthattheyhadbeenfriendsalltheirlives,andwhentheyreachedthecottagehermotherwelcomedJustinwiththeeaseofanoldacquaintance,sothatitwasdoublysurprisingtoEmmathathavingspentabaretenminutestalkingtothemboth,hegotuptogo,declaringthathehadanengagementandwouldhavetoleaveimmediately.Onlyashegotintohiscardidhemention:

‘I’llbebacktomorroweveningforyou,Emma—abouteight.’‘Supper?’askedMrsHastings.‘There’llbecoldchickenandsaladanda

custardtart.’‘Itsoundsdelicious,’hebothsoundedandlookedregretful,‘butIshan’tbe

abletosparethetime.’Emma,standingbesidehermothertoseehimoff,feltasurgeoftemper.He

wasonthepointofleavingwhenshepokedherheadthroughthewindowandsaidatriflehaughtily,‘Inthatcase,there’snoneedforyoutocomeforme.Icanverywellgobackonmyown.’

Hiseyeswereonlyafewinchesawayfromherown;shewatchedthemnarrow.Hesaid,‘Stopbeingagoose,Emma—Icanalwayssparetimeforyou.’

Heletintheclutchandthecarslidsilentlydownthelaneandoutofsight,leavingherstandingthererepeatinghiswordstoherselfandwonderingjustexactlywhathehadmeant.Shewouldhavelikedtothinkthathehadmeantjustwhathehadsaid,butitseemedunlikely.WiththevividmentalpictureofSaskiacloudinghergoodsense,sheturnedbacktohermotherandwentindoors.

ItseemedaverylongtimeuntilSundayevening.EmmatookhermotherouttoteainYeovil,wentovertothevicarageforsupper,andinbetweenthesetwo

socialeventspotteredinthegarden,sawtothechickensandtookFlossieforawalk.OnSundaysheaccompaniedhermothertochurch,cookedthelunchandgardenedagaininadesultoryfashionwhileMrsHastings,fromhergardenchair,gossipedhappily.Emma,rootingupweedswithawfulferocity,thoughtthatshehadfartoomuchtosayaboutJustinwhileatthesametimelisteningwithavidcuriosityforanyinformationabouthim,howeversmall;afraidtosaytoomuch,though,incaseherinterestinhimmightshow.Apparentlyitdidn’t,forhermotherdiscussedhislooks,hisvoice,hismannersandtheinterestingfactthatamanofhiskind,obviouslywellblessedwiththisworld’sgoods,shouldstillbeunmarried.

‘Probably,’shehinteddarkly,‘he’sdivorcedorawidower.’Emmasaid,‘No,he’snot,’withoutthinking.‘Howdoyouknow,dear?’‘Hetoldme.’‘Andnotengagedeither?’‘Hesaidthathewas—waswaitingforagirl.I’mnotsureexactlywhathe

meant.’‘ThatprettygirlwemetinHolland,doyousuppose?’askedMrsHastings

fartooshrewdly,andEmmawasthankfullysavedfromhavingtoanswerherbytheappearanceofMrsMarshall,whosehusbandhadboughttheiroldhomeinthevillage.Shewasapleasantenoughlady,alittlegiventogossipbutkindandeasy-going.Shecamedownthesidepathfromthegateexclaiming:

‘Hullo,youdon’tmindifIcomeinforamoment?It’saboutthecoffeemorningnextweek,MrsHastings.Wewonderedifyoucouldmanagealittlebeforeteno’clockandhelptoarrangetheproducestall—youknowhoweverythingcomesatthelastminute.’ShesmiledatEmma.‘Nogoodaskingyou,mydear,isit?Isupposeyou’llbehardatworkatthathospitalofyours.Didn’tIseeyouwiththatgood-lookingmanagainyesterdaymorning?Hewasherelast—orwasittheweekendbefore,wasn’the?’ShewaggedafingerinEmma’sdirection.‘DoIhearweddingbells?’shedemandedcoyly.

Emmasaidinachokingvoice,‘No,MrsMarshall,youdon’t.He’soneofthesurgeonsandhappenedtobecomingthiswayandgavemealift.’

‘Buttheotherweekend?’‘HewasMother’sguest,’statedEmmawoodenly.‘Well,Idocallthatashame—whenIsawhimIsaidtoJames:“There’s

Emmawithaboy-friend!’”Hertonesuggestedthatshehadonlyjuststoppedherselfintimefromsaying‘Atlast’.‘Still,Iexpectyoufindyourworkabsorbing.Idaresayhe’sverybusytoo?’

‘Oh,very,MrsMarshall,’saidEmmapolitely,andturnedthankfullyatthe

soundoffootsteps.FootstepsshebelatedlyrecognizedasJustin’sashecameroundthecornerofthecottage.Sherosetomeethimwithafinecolourinhercheekswhichsheknew,vexedly,MrsMarshallwasbusyfilingawayforfuturereference.

HestoppedbeforeMrsHastingsandsaidwithcharm,‘I’mhoursearly,I’mafraid.Doyoumind?’HetookherhandandthenadvancedtobeintroducedtoMrsMarshall,whosmiledathimarchly.

‘Well,Iamgladtomeetyou,Professor—IwasjustaskingEmmaaboutyouandImustsayI’mdelightedtohavethechancetotalktoyou.IthoughtfromwhatEmmasaidthatthatwouldbeextremelyunlikely.’Shelookedarchlyatthembothinturn.‘ButalthoughI’maveryoldfriend,Idaresayshedoesn’twishtodiscussitwithme—notjustyet.’

Emmastoodsilent,tryingtothinkofsomethingtosayandnotsucceeding;hopingthatJustinwouldn’tputtwoandtwotogetherandmakefiveofMrsMarshall’shints.ItwasareliefwhenhemadesomenoncommittalanswerwhichMrsMarshallwasunabletoconstrueintoanythingintheleastenlightening;ashort-livedreliefwhensheglancedatJustinandsawthelaughtergleaminginhiseyes.

MrsMarshallstayedanothertenminutesandthendeparted,disappointedatthelackofresponsetoherveiledinquiries.Sheshooktheprofessor’shand,wishedEmmaaratherfulsomegood-byeanddisappeareddownthelittlepathtothelanewithMrsHastingsactingasescort,leavingEmmaandJustintogetheronthelawn.

‘Iamallagog,’hesaidasMrsMarshall’svoicediedawayinthedistance,‘toknowexactlywhatitwasyoudidn’twanttodiscussaboutmewithMrs—er—Marshall.’

‘Well,Ishan’ttellyou,’saidEmmaforthrightly.‘It’sofnoconsequence—youknowwhatpeopleareinvillages.’Shegavehimadarklook.

‘No,Idon’t,’hisvoicewassmooth.‘Dotell.’Sheheardthesmoothness;itwouldbebestnottoanswer.Shesaidinstead

andseverely,‘You’reearly.’Aremarkechoedbyhermotherbutinkindlieraccentsassherejoinedthem,

saying,‘Hownice,Justin,anddon’ttellmeyouhavetotearoffagainintenminutes.WhatatiresomewomanMrsMarshallcanbe—allthosequestions!Whatabouttea?’

Theprofessoransweredthismuddledspeechwithoutconfusion.‘No,Idon’thavetotearmyselfaway,MrsHastings.Ihadarrangedtogo

overtoPortsmouththisevening—therewasacasetheyhadaskedmetooperateupon,butasitturnedout,IwentearlythisafternoonsoI’mfree.’Hesmiledand

wentoneasily,‘Idaresayinavillagethissizeanystrangercausescomment—andyes,Ishouldliketeaifyouhaven’talreadyhadit.’

‘Justgoingto,’saidMrsHastingsinasatisfiedvoice,andwavedEmmabackwhenshewouldhavegonetothekitchen.‘Stayhere,darling,it’sallready.We’llhaveithere,shallwe?YoucancomeandcarrythetraywhenIcall.’

SoEmmawasleftalonewithJustinoncemore.‘Dositdown,’sheinvitedhimstiffly.‘I’llgoandgetthetray.’

Hetooknonoticeatall.Hehadcometostandbesideherandshetookcarenottolookathim.

‘Ithought—Ihopedthatyouwouldbepleasedtoseeme,’hespokesogentlythatsheforgotaboutnotlookingathimandencounteredasmileasgentleashisvoicesothatherheartdoubleditsbeat.

‘Iam.Whydidn’tyoutellmeyouhadacase?Ithought…’Shewentbrightpinkbecauseofwhatshehadthoughtandhisgreeneyestwinkled.

‘ThatIwasgoingtospendthedaywithsomegorgeousdollybird?’hefinishedforher.‘That’sit,isn’tit,Emma?’

Andwhenthepinkturnedscarletunderhisamusedgaze,headded,stillinthatsamegentlevoice,‘Idon’tmeantotease.Doyousupposeyourmotherwillinvitemetosuppertoo?’

‘Yes,ofcourse.Wasthecasesuccessful?’‘Yes—acrushedchest.Theyhadhopedtogethimalittlemorefitfor

operation,buthestartedtodeteriorateandsomethinghadtobedoneatonce,soIwentoverthismorning.Withanyluckhe’llbeoutofthewood.’

Emmagavehimastraightlook.‘Ifeelashamedandmean,’shepronounced.‘AllthewhileyouwereworkingandIthought…’

Justinsaidquietly,‘Whatachildyouare,Emma,’andsmiledagainandpattedherarminasympatheticfashion,thenwentintothecottageasMrsHastings’voicecouldbeheardbeggingsomeonetocarrythetray.

Teawasamerrymeal,fortheprofessorcouldbeamusingcompanyandaninterestingtalkerwhenhehadthemindtobeso;hewasmakingthemlaughnowandEmma,whosometimesthoughtthathermotherdidn’thavemuchfunanymore,wasgratefultohimformakingherlookyoungandcarefreeagain;justasshehadlookedwhenEmma’sfatherhadbeenalive.Aftertea,whiletheywerewashingup,JustinwantedtoknowhowMrsCoffinwasandMrsHastingsgavehimthelatest,satisfactoryreportsofherprogressandadded,‘There—IknewtherewassomethingI’dforgotten.Sheaskedmetogouptothecottageandseeifthecurrantswerereadyforpicking.IsaidI’dmakejamforher,otherwiseit’ssuchadreadfulwaste.’

Theprofessorhungthedishclothtidilyonitshook.‘SupposingEmmaandI

goupandhavealooknow?’hesuggested.‘Itwillsaveyouajourney,foriftheyaren’tready,youcanwaitafewdays.’

‘Splendid!’MrsHastingsglancedatEmmaasshespoke.‘Dogonow,bothofyou.’AndwhenEmmawasabouttospeakhermothercuthershortwith,‘No,dear,Icanmanagethesupperverywellonmyown—it’sallcoldandonlyneedstobeeaten.’

Theeveningwastolerablyfine;theywalkedbrisklydowntothecentreofthevillageandpastthechurchandbegantoclimbBadger’sCross.Herebycommonconsent,theyslowedtheirpace,strollingalongasthoughtheyhadtherestoftimebeforethem,andwhenpresentlyJustincaughtEmma’shandandkeptitinhis,shemadenoefforttoremoveit.Theytalkedofnothingmuch;ofwhatwasgoingonaroundthemmostly,andoncetheystoppedandwaited,motionless,whileastoatflashedacrossthelaneandthencamebacktohaveanotherlookatthem.

‘Arethereanybadgers?’askedtheprofessor.Emma,supremelycontentinanendlesspresent,saidcomfortably,‘Oh,yes

—butyouhavetocomeupherelateatnighttoseethemandeventhenyoumightnotbelucky.They’redifficulttodiscover,youknow,butsometimestheycrosstheroadifthere’snooneinsight.’

Therewasnooneinsightnowanditwasquiet,withonlythesilkytrembleoftheleavesonthetreesborderingthelanetomakeaconstantaccompanimenttotheothercountrysounds;birds,thedistantcalvesonthehillsbeyond,andbelowandbehindthem,thebellsringingthevillagetochurch.MrsCoffin’scottage,whentheyreachedit,lookedlonelyandunlived-in.Emmatooktheunwieldykeyfromitshidingplaceundertheeaves,saying,‘Whilewe’rehere,we’dbettermakesureeverything’sallright,hadn’twe?’andledthewayindoors,wheresheleftJustintotourthesmallplacewhileshecollectedthegeraniumswhichfilleditswindowsandplacedtheminthekitchensink.‘Otherwisethey’lldie,’sheexplained,turningonthetap,‘andMrsCoffin’sratherproudofthem.’

Theprofessorsatonthekitchentable,smokinghispipeandwatchingherinasilencewhichmadeherfeelunaccountablyshy,sothatshemadeshortworkofthegeraniumsandsaidwithunnecessarybriskness.

‘There,they’lldo—we’dbettergoandlookatthecurrants,hadn’twe?’andhefollowedheroutside,stillwithoutspeaking,downthegardenpathtothelittlefieldwhereshehadfoundMrsCoffin.

Thewellhadbeencoveredinwithstoutnewplanksandfencedinbesides.TheystoppedtolookatitastheypassedandJustinflunganarmroundhershouldersandpulledhercloseasthoughhewasafraidshemightfallin.‘You

lookedverysmall,’hesaid.‘Youreyeswerelikesaucers.’Emma,consciousofhisarm,movedontowardsthecurrantbushes;shekept

hervoicedeliberatelylightwhenshespoke.‘Idaresay.Iwasdeadscared,thoughI’msurepoorMrsCoffinwasfeeling

evenworse.’Theyhadreachedthelittlepatchoffruitbushesandshelefthissidetopoke

amongthem.‘They’reready,’shepronounced.‘Mothercancomeuptomorrowandpickthelot—Iexpectshe’llbringsomeonewithher—it’sabitmuchforone.’

Justinwaseatingredcurrantswithareflectiveair.‘Apitywecan’tpickthemforyourmother.’

Emmasenthimawitheringlook.‘Haveyouforgottenthelistfortomorrow?Itgoesonforever—andStaff’sgotahalfday.’

‘Badmanagement?’heteased,andheldoutahandfulofcurrants.Emmatookthembeforesheanswered.‘Ofcoursenot.Thepoorgirlhastohaveheroffdutylikeanyoneelse.She’sbeenonthisweekendwithonlyonenurse.’

‘Andwhataboutyourdaysoffnextweek?’Emmaatethecurrantsandheldoutherhandlikeachild,formore.‘Well,I

havetohelpatthehospitalfêteonWednesdayandtheonlywaytodothatistohaveadayoff—ahalfdayifI’mlucky—inuniform,too.’

‘Youlookcharminginuniform,Emma.’Emmaexperiencedadelightfulsensationsomewheredeepinsideherchest,

allthesameshelookedathimuncertainlyandcontentedherselfbysaying,‘Oh,doI?Oughtwetobegoingback?Motherwillhavesupperready.I—Idon’tknowwhattimeyouwanttoleave.’

‘Sincewearetohavenoleisuretomorrow,’hesaidgravely,‘aslateaspossible.’Hecaughtherarmandstrolledbacktowardsthecottage,sayingastheywent,‘Youknow,deargirl,Iwasn’twildlyenthusiasticaboutcomingtoSouthampton,butyouhaveprovidedmewithjustthedistractionIneed.Youreallyareamostagreeablecompanion.’

TheywentbackthroughthegardenandoutofthegateintothelaneoncemoreandEmmawatchedhimfastenthegate,chokingbacktemper.Hereallywasthemostexasperatingmanandhehadthepowertosendherspiritssoaringanddroopinglikeayo-yo.ProbablyhehaddislikedtheideaofcomingtoSouthamptonbecauseitmeantleavingSaskiabehindandhadfoundinherakindoftemporarystopgaptostaveofftheboredomofhisloneliness.Andshedislikedbeingcalledanagreeablecompanion—atermwhichcoveredeithersexandanyagegroup;itwasinfactnocomplimentatall.Shestarteddownthehill,notwaitingforhimsothathehadtolengthenhisstridetocatchherup.Hetook

herhandagain,ignoringhersurreptitioustugtogetitfreeandwithuncannyinsight,said:

‘Idobelieveyoudislikebeingcalledanagreeablecompanion.Why?’Hestopped,haltinghertoo,andturnedherroundtofacehim.‘No,don’ttryandexplain.’Hesmiledandbentandkissedher,gently,onthemouth,whichaction,althoughthoroughlyenjoyablefromEmma’spointofview,didnothingtodispelherdoubts.

Theyatetheirsupperinthecottage’stinydining-roomandJustindidfulljusticetoitsothatMrsHastingsdeclared:

‘Youpoorman,Idobelieveyoumissedyourlunch,’towhichherepliedthatyes,hehad,staringatEmmaashesaidit,makingherfeelremarkablyguilty.Fornoreasonatall,shetoldherselfsilently.Hehadsaideighto’clock—ifhechosetocomeearlierthanthatitwashisownbusiness,andthenshedeniedthethoughtbypressinghimtotakeanotherhelpingofcustardtart.

Itwasafternineo’clockwhentheyleft,forJustinhadinsistedonwashingupfirst,buttheeveninghadclearedandtheskywasdeepeningtoadarkerblue.TheroadswerealmostfreeoftrafficandevenDorchesterseemeddeserted.Theyslidthroughitsmainstreet,downthehillandontothemainroadbeyondandtheprofessorsentthecarsurgingeffortlesslyahead,keepingupasteadyflowofsmalltalkastheywent.

ItwasastheyapproachedSouthamptonthatEmmasaiddiffidently,‘Itwaskindofyoutofetchmeback,especiallyasyouhadsuchabusyday,’

andthenalittlecrossly,‘Ifyouhadn’tinsistedontakingmehomeinthefirstplaceyouneednothavecome.’

Hisvoicewasbland.‘Isometimeswonder,mydearEmma,ifyouenjoymysocietyasmuchasIshouldlikeyouto.’Heslowedthecaralittleandsatback,veryrelaxed,smilingalittle.Hedidn’tlookatheratall,forwhichEmmawasthankfulbecauseshehadflushedupfinelyathiswords.Presentlyshefoundhervoice,anditwasashadetoomatter-of-fact.‘Well,Idolikeit,’andshestopped.Shehadintendedtosaymore,butshecouldthinkofnothingsufficientlynonchalant.

Hourslater,whenshewasinbedandonthevergeofsleep,anumberofsuitableanswerspoppedintoherhead,fartoolateandthereforeuseless.Sheclosedhereyesontheresolutionnottogetcaughtlikethatagain.

CHAPTERSIX

THEREwasalistonWednesdaymorningandStaffhadasuddenandviolenttoothachewhichnecessitatedanurgentvisittothedentist,sothat,atthelastminute,Emmachangedherwholedaytohalfaday,whichmeantthatbythetimeshehadhaddinnertherewaspreciouslittletimetodomorethanputonsomefreshlipstickandpushherhairbackunderhercapbeforegoingoutintothehospitalcourtyardtojointheotherSisterswhohadofferedtorunthebottlestall.Thelisthadbeenaneasyoneandtheprofessorhadwastednotimeonit,althoughhehadbeenpleasantenough,buthehadmadenomentionofthefête,andhadmadenomentionofattendingit,either,anditwasonlynow,asshetoreacrosstowardsthestall,thatEmmaadmittedtoherselfthatshehadexpectedhimtoturnup.Mostoftheconsultantsdid,evenifonlyforaminuteortwo,althoughinallfairnesstherewasreallynoreasonwhyheshould.

Thestallwasbarelystartedforsomeobscurereasonwhicheveryonewasfartoobusytoexplaintoher.Incompanywiththeothers,shebeganfeverishlyfasteninglabelsonthevastassortmentofbottleswhichhadbeendumpedinandaroundthestall.Presently,whenthefêtehadbeenopened,theywouldbebesiegedbywould-bewinnersofabottleofwhiskyorsherrywhichthepriceofaticketmightentitlethemto,althoughastherewereonlyafewoftheseandamultitudeofbottlesofvinegar,lemonade,tomatosauce,bathessence,cookingoilandPepsi-Cola,theirchancesofgettingthewhisky,letalonethesherry,wereslight.

Thefêtewastobeopenedbyafilmstar,reputedlyevenmorebeautifulinthefleshthanonthescreen,andshewouldpresumablygofromstalltostall,astime-honouredcustompredicted,buyingthisandthatandencouragingeveryoneelsetodothesame.Emma,arrangingbottlesintidyrowsatherendofthestall,wonderedwhatitwouldbeliketobefamousandbeautifulandhaveagreatdealofmoneybesides.Itwouldcertainlyhaveitsadvantages,nottheleastbeingamuchbetterchanceofattracting—andkeeping—theattentionofequallyfamous,good-lookingandwealthymen—suchastheprofessor,forinstance.Shearrangedsomebottlesofink,whichsheconsideredadullprize,eveniffree,atthebackwheretheycouldn’tbeseenveryeasily,andsetanenticingrowofeau-de-cologne,hairshampoo,limejuicecordialinthefrontwithahalfbottleofsherryintheirexactmiddle.

Thefilmstarwasbeautifulallright,afteraglossymagazinefashion.Sheopenedtheafternoon’sproceedingswithaspeechinwhatEmmaprivatelyconsideredtobetoogirlishamannerandthenproceededtotourthestalls.Aclose-upofherassheboughtafistfulofticketsfromEmmarevealedamake-upwhichmusthavetakenhourstoperfectandwhatwasundoubtedlyareallysuperwig,butEmmahadtoadmitthatevenwithouttheseaids,shewasaverylovelygirl,andshesighedassheofferedthismirrorofbeautyandfashionthebottleofDad’sSauceshehadwon.Withafacelikethat,onecouldattractanyone—anyoneintheworld.

AlmostallthebottleshadbeensoldwhenEmmacaughtsightofJustinattheflowerstallandshewasn’treallysurprisedtoseethathewasescortingthefilmstar.Sheturnedherattentiontoherbottles,feelingputoutwhileacknowledgingtheinevitabilityofit,andtomakemattersworse,shewasforcedtohearhercompanions’commentsonthestrikingappearanceofthetwopeopleshehadbeenwatching.

‘Madeforeachother,’observedMadge.‘Theonlysnagis,she’sbeenmarriedtwiceandiscontemplatingathirdgo—whatabouthim?’

SheraisedinquiringbrowsatEmma,whohandedoverabottleofmustardsaucetoahard-facedwomaninaterriblehatbeforeshereplied:

‘Notmarried,’sheansweredbriefly.‘Engaged?’askedsomeone,andSybilfromtheAccidentRoomchippedin.‘Don’ttellusyoudon’tknow,Emma—youmusthaveprisedsomethingout

ofhim,he’sbeentoyourhomeandyou’vebeenoutwithhim.Oh,yes,you’vebeenseen,ducky.Isheinterested?’

Emmatookasmallboy’scoinandalthoughhedrewablankticketsheawardedhimabottleoffizzylemonadebecausehewaslookingsohopeful;itgavehertimetocollectherselftoo.

‘No,he’snot,’shesaidlightly,‘andhedoesn’ttalkabouthimself,butIbelievethere’sagirlinHolland.Imetherwhilewewereonholiday—verydishy.’

‘Aha!’Madgesoundedtriumphant.‘Iknewhehadagirl,anddon’taskmehowIknow.There’ssomethingabouthim—he’scharmingandfriendlyandlovelymanners,andallthetimeyou’reawarethatyoudon’treallymattertohim.Iwonder,’shewenton,‘whatitwouldbelikeifyoudidmatter?’Noonehadachancetoanswerthisinterestingquestion,forsheaddedinahurry,‘They’recomingover.’

‘Almostsoldout?’inquiredtheprofessorpleasantly.Hetookahandfulofchangefromhispocket.‘We’lltryourluck,shallwe?’Hesmiledatthefilmstar,whosmiledback,flutteringfalseeyelashessoskilfullyappliedthattheylooked

real.HeselectedsomesilverandhandedittoMadgewhilethefilmstarclappedherhandsandgiggled:

‘Oh,Idohopewewinthewhisky—youmustcomeandhelpmedrinkit,Justin.’

‘Justin!’thoughtEmmasavagely,andchokedbackalaughwhenhewonabottleofvinegar,followedbyfurnitureoilanddisinfectant.Shehandedtheprizesover,longingtotellthemtogoawayandsharethemtogether,butinsteadshegavethefilmstarabrightsmileandignoredtheprofessor.Thefilmstartinkledwithlaughterandsaidhelplessly,‘Oh,dear,Idon’tevenknowwhatthesearefor,’andpushedherspoilsacrossthestalltoEmma.‘Youhavethem,I’mcertainyoucanusethem.’

‘No,’saidEmmapolitely,‘Idon’thavemuchtimeforhousework,butI’llputthembackonthestallandwecanusethemagain.’Sheturnedawaytogiveticketstosomeoneelseandwhenshelookedroundtheyhadgone.ShecouldjustseeJustin’sbrightheadoverbythehoop-lastall.TheywerestandinginagroupcomposedofMatronandthehospitalSecretaryandseveralmembersoftheBoardofGovernors,withasprinklingoflocalphilanthropists.Sheheardthemalllaughingassheturnedawayagaintohandatriumphantgentlemaninabrightpinkshirtabottleoftomatoketchup.Thereweren’tmanybottlesleftnowandthecrowdswerethinning.‘Iwantmytea,’saidMadge,‘andI’mgoingoutatseven.Whatshallwedowithwhat’sover?’

Theyweredebatingthiswhentheprofessor,byhimself,joinedthem.‘Supposingyousellmetheremainderofthetickets,’hesuggested.‘How

manyarethereleft?’Emmacounted,didsomearithmeticwiththeaidofherfingersandsaid,

‘Onepound,thirty-sevenandahalfpence,’andgavehimtheticketswithoutsayinganythingelse.Butwhenshewenttogivehimchangeforthetwopoundnotesheofferedherandherefusedtotakeitshehadtothankhim,buthecuthercasuallyshort,merelywantingtoknowwhathecouldexpectforhismoney.

Thewhisky,ofcourse,thedisinfectantandthevinegarandthefurnitureoil,besidestwobottlesofbubblebath,someunlikely-lookinglemonsquashandaverysmallbottleofeau-de-cologne,andlastlyabottleofsodawater.

‘Thewhiskyforme,’saidtheprofessorcoolly,andEmma,handingittohim,seethed.Hewouldofcoursetakeitwithhimwhenhewenttovisitthefilmstar—probablythatveryevening.‘We’llsharetherest,’hecontinuedpleasantly,andproceededtohandherthebottleofsodawater.TheresthepresentedtoEmma’sfriendsbehindthestallandthen,withagenialwaveofthehand,strolledaway.

Theymadeshortworkofclearingupafterthat;itwasbarelyhalfpastsixwhentheyreachedtheirsitting-roomand,overapotoftea,discussedthe

afternoon.Theyhaddonewellatthebottlestall;nowtheyfeltfreetogo,eachherownway,fortheremainderoftheday.Theypartedcompany,complainingalittleatthelatenessofthehourandwhattheirboyfriendswouldsayatbeingkeptwaiting,andEmma,lackingaboy-friend,wentupstairswiththem,intentonnothingmoreexcitingthanahotbath.

ShehadbeenlyinginitforperhapsfiveminuteswhentherewasanurgentknockingonthedoorandMadgecalled,‘Emma?Comeout,Emma—you’rewanted!’

‘Whoby?’askedEmmawithasadlackofgrammarandwithoutanyintentionofdoinganythingofthesort.

‘ProfessorTeylingen.He’sdowninthehall,lookingquiteimmovable—hewantstospeaktoyou.’

‘Notacase?Forheaven’ssake,it’smyhalfday!’‘Iwouldn’tknow,he’shardlythemantoshouthiswantsaloudinthe

Nurses’Home.’Emmamutteredcrosslytoherself,gotoutofthebathandwrappedherselfin

atowel.‘Oh,tellhimI’llbetenminutesatleast—andheneedn’tthinkI’mgettingbackintouniform,forI’mnot—hecanfindsomeoneelseifhewantstoopentheatre.Staff’soncallanyway,whycouldn’thehavegonetoher?’SheflungopenthebathroomdoorandpattereddamplypastMadgeintoherbedroom.‘Andyouneedn’tlaughlikethat!’shesnapped,andbangedthedoor.

Shedidn’thurry.Almosttwentyminuteslatershewentdownstairs,lookingratherpinkandwarmfromherbathandwearingagreenandwhitecheckeddresswhichmadeherlooktenyearsyoungerthanshewas.Herhairshehadtiedbackwithagreenvelvetribbonandthewholecharmingeffectwasalittlemarredbyherheavyfrown.

Theprofessorwasinthehall,justasMadgesaid,lookingneitherimpatientnorannoyed.Indeedhehadtheairofamanverymuchatleisureandinsteadoftheurgentrequesttoopenthetheatrewhichshewasexpecting,allhesaidwas,‘Hullo,Emma—haveyougotthesodawaterwithyou?’

Emmastoodonthebottomstairandgapedathim.‘Thewhat?’sheechoedfaintly,hermindstillrunningonemergenciesandwhocouldbecalledbackondutybecausethenightstaffwouldneverbeonintime.

‘Sodawater,’herepeatedpatiently.‘Ihavethewhisky;yourmothermaynothaveanysoda.’

‘Soda?’saidEmmastupidly.‘Mother?’‘WhoelseshouldIhaveintendeditfor?’Hegaveasuddencrackof

laughter.‘Emma,youimaginedthatIwasgoingtospendmyeveningwithourbeautyofthisafternoon—nowIcometothinkofitshedidsuggestit,didn’t

she?Isthatwhatyouthought?’Emmatookastepbackwardsupthestairsanddidn’tanswer.‘Itis?’Hehadn’tmovedaninch,butshehadtheimpressionthathewas

loomingoverher.‘Well,asamatteroffact,Ididthinkthat—afterall,shedidinviteyouifyou

wonthewhisky,andyoudid.’‘SoIdid.Idon’trememberacceptingherinvitation,though.’Emmatookanotherstep.‘I’llgetthesodawaterforyou,’shesaid,veryred

intheface,andturnedandboltedbacktoherroom.Downstairsagainshesaid,‘Hereyouare,’ratherungraciously.‘Yousaid

youwantedtoseemeandIwasinthebath—Ithoughtitwasacase.’Shescowled.

‘Yes,Iknow—yourhair’sstilldamp.Nowwehavetolooksharp;wecan’tgetthereandbackifwedon’tstartnow.’

‘Thereandback?’reiteratedEmma,herpowersofconversationsadlycurtailed.

Heputthebottleunderonearm.‘Idon’tknowwhenyouwillbefreeagainthisweek,’heexplainedwithpatience.‘Ithoughtitmightbeagoodideatorunovertoyourmother’sthisevening—unless,’headdedsmoothly,‘youwouldprefertospenditinthebath.’

Emmarecognizeditasoneoftheoccasionswhereherspiritswereallowedtosoar.Allthesame,shesaidcautiously,‘Itsoundsnice.’

‘Itwillbenice.No,don’tgoupstairsagain,youdon’tneedahandbag,ifyouwantahankyyoucanhavemineandI’vemoneyenoughforbothofus.’Hecastaleisurelyeyeoverherperson.‘Youdon’tneedtodoanythingelsetoyourself.’

Heurgedherthroughthedoorandshefoundherselfsittingbesidehiminthecarwithouthavingutteredaword.Theywereacrosstheforecourtandoutofthegates,headingwest,beforeshesaidweakly:

‘Mother’snotexpectingus.’‘No—anicesurpriseforher,don’tyouagree?We’llstopattheCompton

Armsforaquickmeal,shallwe?’Emmanodded,thensaid,athermostpolite,‘It’sverygoodofyou—Ican’t

thinkwhy…’‘Ifeellikearuninthecar,’heofferedblandly,‘andthiswasthebestexcuse

Icouldthinkoffortakingone.Howmuchmoneydidthefêtemake?’Emmadigestedthefactthatshewasanexcuse,nothingmore.‘Weshan’t

knowuntiltomorrow,butIbelieveeveryoneisverypleased.I—Ithoughtthefilmstarwasverybeautiful.’

‘Yes?Allthoseeyelashes,andI’llswearshewaswearingawig—sucha

pity,forImustagreewithyouthatshewasamostattractivegirl.Shedidn’tneedthem,shewasprettyenough.’

Andthat’senoughofthat,thoughtEmma,launchingintoanaccountofwhatwastobedonewiththespoilsfromthefête.Shehadn’tquitefinishedwhenhebroughttheRollstoaquiethaltinfrontofthehotel.

‘Idon’tknowaboutyou,’saidtheprofessorsilkily,‘butIshallbegladoftherespite.’

Shewasmullingthisremarkoverassheallowedherselftobeledthroughthehoteltothebaratthebackandoutontothepavedterracebeyondit.Itwasstillpleasantlywarmandshesatdownthankfullyononeofthechairslyingaround,tobejoinedpresentlybyJustincarryinglagerandfollowedbyabarmaidwithaplateofsandwiches.Thesandwicheswereofadeliciousvarietyandshewashungry.Theyate,talkinglittleatfirst,andthen,astheirhungerwasappeased,embarkingonaramblingconversationwhichembracedmostsubjectsbutmostofallthemselves,theiraims,theirideals,theirhopesforthefuture.Theyhadagreatdealincommon,Emmadecidedastheygotbackintothecar,tocontinuethejourney,stilltalkingandinperfectharmony.

MrsHastingsflungthedooropenastheprofessorinchedtheRollsthroughthegatewayandallowedittocometoadignifiedhalt.

‘Therenow!’shesaidhappily.‘Iwasjustwonderingwhatsortofadayyouhadhadatthefête,nowyoucancomeinandtellmeallaboutit.I’llmakesomecoffee.’SheembracedEmma,gaveahandtotheprofessorandusheredthemintothesitting-roomwhereJustinproducedthewhisky.

‘Sinceyoucouldn’tbethere,’heexplained,‘itseemedonlyfairtobringyousomeofthespoils.’

‘Angel!’declaredMrsHastings.‘Ishalltreasureitagainstthewinter,youdearkindman.’Sheputanarmonhiswell-tailoredsleeveandgavehimakiss,andhekissedherbackwithawarmthwhichtouchedEmma’sheart.

‘Thatwasnice,’saidMrsHastingswithdisarmingfrankness.‘SitdownandI’llgetthecoffee.No,Emma,yousitdowntoo,darling—Ishan’tbeabovefiveminutes.’

ButEmmadidn’tsit,sheprowledroundtheroom,pickingupbitsofchinaandputtingthemdownagain,rearrangingflowersandgenerallyfidgetingaround,andJustin,stillstandingbecauseshewas,watchedherfromtheopendoorleadingtothegarden.

‘Restless?’hisvoicewascasual.‘Me?’askedEmma.‘No.’Shere-didsomerosesinavase.‘Whydidyou

wanttocomeherethisevening?’Shegavehimaquickglanceandsawhiseyesnarrowwithamusement.‘Andyoucould,’shewentonwithasperity,‘havecome

withoutme.’‘SoIcould,mydearEmma,butIfeltlikecompany—besides,howselfishit

wouldhavebeenofmetoleaveyousittinginthebathwhenIcouldsoeasilytakeyouwithme.’Hewaslaughingsoftly.

‘Idon’tunderstandyou,’saidEmmainavexedvoice.‘Idon’tintendyouto.NowsitdownlikeagoodgirlandI’llgoandgetthe

coffeetray.’Shesatlisteningtothemtalkinginthekitchen,andpresentlytheycameinto

theroomtogetheronexcellenttermswitheachother.OvercoffeeJustindescribedthefêteforMrsHastings’benefit;whenhecametothebitaboutthefilmstarMrsHastingsremarkeddrylythathehadaveryobservanteyeandhetwinklednicelyatherandsaid:

‘Ofcourse,especiallywhenthereareprettygirlsaround.’Theyalllaughed,thoughEmma’slaughwasalittlehollow.‘It’stimeyou

settleddown,’observedMrsHastingsforthrightly,andwhenEmmashotheraspeakingglanceacrossthelittleroom,said,‘Don’tlookatmelikethat,Emma.Justincouldhavebeenmarriedandhadchildrentheselasttenyears.’

Theprofessordidn’tappeartoshareEmma’shorrorathermother’soutspokenness.‘AnomissionIintendtorectifyinthenearfuture,’heremarked,athismostplacid.

‘Splendid.’MrsHastingsbeamedathim.‘Whoisshe—ormustn’tIask?’‘Youmustn’task,’heansweredhersmilingly,‘butIpromiseI’lltellyou

beforeverylong.’‘AndI’llbethefirsttocongratulateyou.’Emmadidn’tseethelightning

glancehermotherflashedatherbeforesheasked,‘Morecoffee?’ShefilledhiscupandthenturnedtoEmma,sittingcurleduponthesofa

withFlossieandthecats.‘You,Emma?’JustingotupandtookhercupforherandwhenhebroughtitbacksatdownbesideherwithFlossiebetweenthemandbegantotalkaboutagreatmanythings,notoneofwhichthrewanylightatalluponhimselforhisfuture.

Itwasalmostteno’clockwhenEmmasaidregretfully,‘There’saheavylisttomorrowmorning—oughtwetogo,doyouthink?’

Justingottohisfeet.‘Sothereis—Ihadquiteforgottenwehaddecidedtodothosetwocases.PoorEmma,I’mkeepingyoufromyourbed.’

Hepulledhertoherfeet,waitedpatientlywhilesheandhermotherembraced,thenkissedMrsHastingsinturn,sayinginhisquietway,‘Iseemtobegettingintoapleasanthabit,’andsmiledather.‘Ihopeweshallmeetagainsoon.’

‘Oh,Iexpectso,’declaredMrsHastingsairily.‘Emmacomeshomeonher

weekends,don’tyou,dear?’Sheturnedalimpidgazeuponherdaughter.‘Justincanalwayscomewithyou—orbyhimselfforthatmatter.’Shesmiledinherturnverysweetlyathim.‘Youknowyou’rewelcome.’

Inthecar,goingbackthroughthequietby-roadstoDorchesterhesaid,‘Yourmotherisadelightfulwoman,Emma,andahappyonedespitehercircumstances.’

Emmanoddedintothesemi-darkofthecar.‘Yes,she’swonderful.Shemissesmyfatherstill—theyweresohappy.It’sagoodthinginawaythatwehadtoleaveourhomeinthevillageandmovetothecottage.Atleastshehasn’tgotaconstantreminder.’Shestirredalittleandturnedtopeerathisprofile.‘Thankyouforbringingmethisevening—itwasniceforMother.’

‘Niceformetoo,’hecommentedplacidly.‘Ienjoyhercompany.Ienjoyyourstoo,Emma.Youfillagapinmylife.’

Sothat’sit,thoughtEmmagloomily.I’mastop-gap,someonetokeephimcompanywhilehe’sawayfromSaskia.Shebroodedoverthisunpleasantidea,sodeeplythatshefailedtonoticethatthecarhadsloweddownandpresentlystoppedaltogether.TheywerestillsomemilesfromDorchester;theroadwasnarrow,butthegrassvergesoneithersidewerewideenough.Theprofessorswitchedofftheengineandturnedtowardsher.

‘Youdon’tbelieveme,doyou,Emma?’hequeriedmildly.‘No,’saidEmma,longingtosayyes,andwascaughtandkissedwitha

leisurelythoroughnesswhichtookherbreathandleftherspeechless.‘Nowdoyoubelieveme?’askedtheprofessor.Shedidn’tanswerhimatonce.Foronething,sheknewthatifshespokeat

thatmomenthervoicewouldn’tbequiteundercontrol—herheartwasn’teither;somewhereupinherthroat,itwasbeatingtodeafenher.Shetookrefugeinsilenceandafteralongmomenthedrewawayfromherandsaidgently,‘Allright,Emma—I’llnotaskyouthat,notjustyet,anyway.’

Heleanedforwardoncemoreandkissedheragain,butthistimeitwasasgentleashisvoicehadbeen,andasthoughcompelledbysomeforcebeyondhercontrol,Emmakissedhimback,herthoughtsinaturmoil.Shemadenoresistanceeitherwhenhedrewherheaddownontohisshoulder,butsatquietlylisteningtohisvoice,calmandfriendly,tellingherabouthishomeandthefamilyhenolongerhad,andpresently,greatlydaring,shementionedSaskiabyname,butheshruggedthequestionoffwithacasualairwhichshecouldn’tbesurewasn’tdeliberate,andthenchangedtothemorelightheartedtopicofthefêteandafterthat,naturallyenough,theirwork.

ItmusthavebeenhalfanhourbeforehewithdrewhisarmandstartedthecaragaintogoontoDorchesterandthentearthroughthequietnight,still

talkingwiththeeasycasualnessofanoldfriend.Bythetimetheyhadreachedthehospital,EmmahadallowedhernaturalgoodsensetooverrulethenonsensicalideaswhichhadbeenswarminginherheadandwasabletowishhimafriendlygoodnightandexpressherthanksforthetripinaperfectlynormalmannerbeforegoingquietlypastthecloseddoorsintheHometoherownroom.Oncethere,sheundressedquicklyandgotintobed,thinkingoverherevening.Anhourlatershewasstillwideawake,havingcometotheconclusionthatshemighthaveenjoyedhereveningmuchmoreifshehadn’tlovedJustinsomuch,forthenshecouldhaveacceptedhiskissesinthelight-heartedmannerinwhichtheyhadbeengiven—therewasonlyonethingwrongwiththistheory,however;hiskisseshadn’tbeenlightheartedatall!

ItwasobvioustoherthenextmorningthatJustindidn’tshareherdoubts.Hegreetedherwithdetachedfriendliness,nomore,andalthoughshecolouredfaintlyatthesightofhimsheansweredhisgoodmorninginasensiblevoice,awareofthetumultbeneathherribsanddeterminednottoshowit.

‘Sleepwell?’hewantedtoknowashetookhisplaceatthesinkbesideherandstartedtoscrubup,andwhenshenodded,wenton,‘SodidI—weshoulddothatmoreoften.Whenisyournexteveningoff?’

‘Thisevening,’saidEmmaquicklybeforeshecouldhavesecondthoughts.‘Good,keepitfreeforus,Emma.’Hesmiledatherandsaidinalowvoice,

‘Verywell,’andrinsedoffcarefullyandwentthroughtothetheatre.Itwasabusyday,butapleasantone,too.Emmawatchedtheprofessorat

work,wonderinghowshewouldfeelwhenhehadgone,andputthetwingeofpainunderherbeltdowntothismiserablethought.Butthetwingecameagain,severaltimes,andeventhedelectablethoughtthatshewouldbewithhimagaininafewhoursdidn’tdispelit.Sheatenodinner,butafterseveralcupsofteashefeltbetterandwentbacktotheafternoon’slist,tellingherselfthatshewouldbemorecarefulwhatsheateinfuture;perhapsthesandwichestheyhadeatenhadn’tbeenquitefresh—shedismissedtheideaatonce.Therehadbeennothingwrongwiththematall,perhapsitwasjustexcitement.Butbytheendofthelistthevaguefeelingofdiscomforthadreturnedanddidn’tgoawayagain,andwhentheprofessorandLittleWillyleftthetheatreshewentafterthem,andJustin,awarethatshehadfollowedhim,stoppedonhiswaydownthecorridor.‘I’llcatchupwithyouinaminuteorso,’hetoldWilleasily,andwalkedbacktomeetherandthenstood,relaxedandcalm,waitingforhertospeak.

‘Ithink,’beganEmma,alittlewanly,‘ifyoudon’tmind,Iwon’tcomeoutthisevening.I—IthinkImusthaveeatensomethingthatdidn’tquiteagree…’Shegavehimabeseechinglookanddespitethefactthatshewasn’tfeelingtoogood,herheartleaptattheconcerninhiseyes.

‘Mydeargirl,whydidn’tyousaysoearlier?Staffcouldhavescrubbedforyou.Areyousurethat’sallitis?’Andwhenshenoddedhesmiledandsaid,‘OfcourseImind,Emma.Iwaslookingforwardtobeingwithyou.Gooffdutyassoonasyoucanandgotobed.Istheresomeonetobringyousomesupper?’

Emma,inalittlevoicewhichsoundedrelieved,said,‘Oh,yes,thankyou.’Thethoughtofsupperwasnauseating,butitwaskindofhimtothinkofit.‘I’msorry,’sheadded.

Hesaidnothingtothis,butgaveheranavuncularpatontheshoulder.‘Don’tcomeoninthemorningifyoudon’tfeellikeit,’headmonishedher

asheturnedonhisheelandstrodeofftowhereWillwaspatientlywaiting.Emmafeltquitewellagaininthemorningalthoughshehadwakenedonce

ortwiceinthenight,feelingqueasy,andshehadhadnoappetiteforherbreakfast.Shewasintheofficemakingoutthenextday’stheatrelistwhentheprofessor,muchearlierthanusual,stalkedin.

‘Better?’heasked.Hestudiedhernarrowly.‘Ican’tseemuchwrongwithyou.’

Emmasmiledupathim.‘Ifeelfine.Ican’tthinkwhatcameoverme.’Shewatchedthegreeneyesnarrow.‘Thecoldwindofcaution,perhaps?’

Hisvoicewassilky,andshefaltered,‘What—whatdoyoumean?’whileshesoughtfortherightwordsandfailedtofindthem.ShewasstillcudgellingherbrainswhenLittleWillywalkedinandputanendtoanychanceshehadofsucceeding.Shewishedhimgoodmorningandwentquiteunnecessarilytothelinencupboardtocountthetowels,apreytoavarietyofthoughts,noneofthempleasant.

Therewasalobectomy,asecondstagethoracoplastyandacoupleofbronchoscopiesonthemorning’slist;routinestuff,reflectedEmma,wonderingwhyeverythingseemedsuchaneffort.Shefounditdifficulttorespondtotheprofessor’stranquilvoiceandeventhenimpossibletooffermorethanmonosyllabicreplies,andwhentheypausedforcoffeeshesatintheofficelisteningtothethreementalkingandtakingnopartintheirconversationherself.Shedrankhercoffeewithoutanypleasure,leftthemtotheirsecondcupsandwentalongtoscruboncemore,followed,afteraveryfewminutes,bytheprofessor.Hemadenoattempttoscrub,however,butleanedagainstthetiledwall,watchingher.

‘Sulking,Emma?’heinquired,andhissmilemockedher.Ithurthertoo,butshecouldn’tsummonupthespirittocontradicthim.Shemurmured,‘No,oh,no,’andescapedtothetheatre.

Whenthelistwasfinishedandthemenhadgone,Emmawentalongtotheoffice,thankfulthatStaffwastheretoclearup.Shesatdownfeelinglistlessand

debatingwhethertoaskStafftostayonandtakethecasethatafternoon.Butitwashardlyfairtochangeheroffdutyatamoment’snoticeandprobably,thoughtEmmahardily,sheherselfwouldfeelwellagainpresently.Butwhenitwastimetogotodinnershestayedwhereshewasdrinkingtheteathetheatremaidhadbroughtherandnibblingdrybiscuitswhichrevivedhertosuchanextentthatshewasabletotellherselfthatwhateveritwashadbeenunimportantandtransitory.

Therewasonlytheonecasethatafternoon,butadifficultone;anoesophagectomywhichwouldrequirealltheprofessor’sskillaswellasthecooperationofhishelpers.Feelingalmostlightheartedbecauseshefeltsomuchbetter,Emmawentalongtothetheatretomakesurethateverythingwasperfectionandthenscrubbedupbeforethemenarrived,determinedtohavenoconversationwithJustinforthetimebeing.Shewasintheatre,quiteready,whenMrBonecameinwithhispatientandtheportersandbythetimeJustin,withWillandPetertailinghim,camein,shewasentrenchedsecurelybehindhertrolleyswitheverythingreadyforthem,andbeyondexchangingtheirusualpleasant‘Goodafternoon,’therewasnoneedtospeak.

Thecasewashalfdonewhenthepainbegan;adullacheatfirstwhichshewasabletoignore,butwhichincreasedwiththeslowminutesuntilitwasalmostpastbearing.Emmaworkedmechanically,handinginstrumentswithperfecttiming;countingswabswithherusualcare;rearranginginstruments;threadingneedles,intentonhangingonuntiltheendofthecase.Anycommotionwhichmightdisturbthesurgeon’sworkcouldspoilthewholetrickyoperation—notthattheprofessorwaslikelytolosehisheadinanycircumstances,ofthatshewasreasonablysure,butshedidn’tdaretaketheriskofgettingthepart-timestaffnursetoscrubforherwithalltheconsequencesofachange-over,howeversmooth.Besides,shethoughtuneasily,StaffBettshadn’ttakenanoesophagectomybefore,shemightgetsomeoftheinstrumentswrongandhindertheprofessor’sconcentration.

Shesawwithreliefthathewasbeginningthedeepsuturingandhandedtheneedleholderwithitsneedlethreadedandthenclungtothetrolleybeforeher,feelingthesweatbeadingherforehead,doggedlywatchingtheprofessorsewingpreciselyandalltooslowly.Evenwhenhehadfinishedthistherewouldbeaminuteortwowhilehecheckedhisneedleworkandshemustbereadytoanticipateanythinghemightneedatamoment’snotice.Atlasthehandedherbacktheneedleholdersothatshecouldremovetheneedleandputtheholderinthebowlofsalineonthetrolley’sshelf,awarethatthepainhadgotoutofhand;shewouldhavetogiveintoit.Sheglancedattheclock;ifshecouldholdoutforanothertenminutesthatwouldseethecrucialpartoftheoperationover.She

handedtheprobeheaskedforwithahandthatshook,somethingwhichhesawatonce,forhepausedforasplitsecondandgaveherasharpglance.Emmalookedbackathim,thatportionofherfacewhichwasvisibleapalegreen,hereyeshugewithpain.Hesaidsoftly—urgently,‘Emma,’andbenttohisworkevenashewasspeakingwithunhurriedcommand.

‘StaffNurse,scrubandtakeoverfromSister.NurseJessop,comebehindSisterandstandsothatshecanleanbackonyouifshemust,andifshefaintsforGod’ssakekeepherawayfromthetrolleysandus.’

Heputdowntheprobeandpickedupsomegutandstartedtyingoff.‘Peter,takeoverwhateverStaffwasdoing.Tom’—thistothetechnician

—’goandtelephoneMrPhillipsanddon’tcomebackuntilyou’vegothim.Gethimtocomehereatonceifhecanmanagethat.It’surgent,Sisterisill!’HegaveEmmaanothersearchingglancebetweentyingoff.‘Looksharp,man!’

Hewentonworkingthen,withoutvisiblehasteorworry,notlookingatEmmaatall,andshewatchedthroughamistofpainasWilltookofftheretractorsandtheprofessorbegantostitchthemusclesheath.

‘Canyoustickit,Emma?’hisvoicewasverygentle.‘Justaminutemore.’Thepainhadreceded.Shesaidinanalmostcontrolledvoice,‘Yes,it’snot

toobad,’andthenclosedhereyesinreliefasBettsinsinuatedherselfbesideherwithanencouraging,‘OK,Sister,I’llbeallright.’Emmanoddedandbegantospeakandthenasthepaintwistedthroughheragain,thewordsturnedtoasmallsobbingmoan.

Theywereputtingintheskinsuturesnow,workingfast,oneateachendofthewound.Emma,leaningagainstJessop’sfirmsupport,kepthereyesontheprofessor’shands,herteethclenchedagainstthenextscreambubblinginherthroat.Itwasonlyseconds,butitseemedlikeasmanyhourswhenhesaid,‘Right,Will,takeover,’andbackedawayfromthetable,pullingoffhisglovesashewalkedbehindthetrolleysandscoopedEmmaup.‘Openthedoor,there’sagoodgirl,’hesaidtoJessop,andliftedEmmaclear,slowlyandcarefullysothatnothingwastouched.Shefelthisarmsholdinghercloseashecarriedheroutofthetheatreandlaidherontheanaestheticroomtrolley.Shefelthisfingerstoo,coolandfirm,ashetookoffhertheatrecapandmasktoexposeherpallidfaceandJessop,withoutbeingtold,wascuttingthetapesofhergown.Light-headedwithpain,Emmamumbled,‘SisterCoxwouldn’tlikethat,Nurse,’andJessopsaidcomfortably,‘Don’tyouworry,Sister,I’lltakecareofeverything,’andEmmafeltasmallthrillofsatisfactionmixedinwiththepainbecauseJessopwasbehavingverywellinanemergency.SheopenedhereyesandsawJustin’sfaceaboveherandwhispered,‘Itoldyoushewouldbeagoodnurse,’andthenbecauseshefeltsoill,closedthemagain.

MrPhillipscamethen.Emmalayquietlyunderhisgentlesearchinghandsuntilthepaingotworseagainandsheheardherownvoice,veryhighandstrained,beseechingsomeonetodosomething,andthen,‘I’mgoingtobesick,’shesaidurgently.

ItwasJustinwhoheldthebowlandthentookherhandandhelditwhileJessopwipedherface.‘DearEmma,’hesaid,andhisvoicesoundedascalmandplacidasitalwaysdidandforsomereasonthatmadeherfeelquitesafe.‘You’regoingtohavesomethingnow,’andashespokeshefeltthethinprickofaneedleinherarmandinablessedlyshorttimethepainhadmeltedawayandpresentlyshefloatedawayintoaquietlimboofherown,notbotheringtothinkanymore,butstillawareofJustin’shandholdinghersinafirm,suregrip.

Thenextfewhourswereatimelessstretchinwhichshewasvaguelyconsciousofbeingliftedandundressed,andvoiceswhichshewastoowearytorecognizecameandwentoverherhead.Oneofthemaskedhertosignaconsentformandanotheronetoldherthatshewasgoingtohaveherappendixoutandshemurmuredpolitely,notcaringintheleast.OnlyafteralittlewhileshefeltlesshappybecauseJustin’shandwasn’tthereanylonger,andthoughshelongedtoaskwherehehadgone,shecouldn’tsummontheenergytospeak,andbyandby,whentheytookhertotheatre,itwasMrPhillips’facewhichfloatedaboveherwhensheopenedhereyes,althoughthelastthoughtshehadinherheadbeforeshedroppedoffundertheanaesthetist’sskilfulneedlewasofJustin.

CHAPTERSEVEN

EMMA,workingherwaythroughlayersofsleep-filledmist,heardJustin’svoicebeforesheopenedhereyes,anditsoundedreassuringlyunworried.Itwasapitythatwhateverhewassayingmadenonsenseinherstillbemusedmind,butallthesame,sheforcedhereyesopenonlytodiscoverthatthefacelookingdownatherwasn’tJustinatall,butMrPhillips’craggyvisage.Itgrewlargeandthenrecededinthemistandsheopenedhermouthtotellhimhowfunnyhelooked,thenhadnoideawhatitwasshehadbeengoingtosay,andinthesameinstantwasoncemoreenvelopedinsleep.

Thesecondtimeshewokeupsheknewwhereshewas—Nurses’SickBay,offWomen’sSurgical,andAnn,herfriendandNightSisteronthesurgicalside,wastakingherpulse.Emmasaidinawoollyvoice,becausehertonguewasstillfartoolargeforhermouth,‘Hullo,Ann,’andthen,‘He’sgone.’

Annseemedtounderstand.‘Onlyjust—hewenttofetchyourmotherandtheybothwentabouthalfanhourago.He’stakenhertoahotelforthenight.’

‘Night?’askedEmma,faintlypuzzledastothepassageoftimebutpreparedtobelieveanythingAnnsaid.‘What’sthetime?’

‘Almosthalfpasttwo.Gotosleep,Emma,everything’sfine,you’llfeelasfitasafleainthemorning.’

UponwhichsoundbutinelegantadviceEmmaclosedhereyesobedientlyandslept.

Hermotherwastherewhensheawakenedforthethirdtime,sittingbythebedwiththeDailyTelegraphonherlapbutnotreadingit.Emmafeltquiteclearinherhead,surprisinglyhungryandonlyalittlesore.Shemovedcautiously,foundthatthesorenesswasonlyalittleworsewhenshedidandsaid,‘Hullo,Mother.’

MrsHastingsgotoutofherchairandembracedherwithwarmcaution.‘Darling—thereyouareagain,howlovely!Everyonetoldmeyouwere

perfectlyallright,butyouseemedalongwayaway,ifyouknowwhatImean.Soveryquiet,notatalllikeyou.’Shesmiledherreliefandwentandsatdownagain.‘Doesithurt,darling—itmusthavebeenawful.Justintoldmeyouweresobrave.’

‘WhendidJustin…?’beganEmma,whenhermotherinterruptedherwith,‘I’mtoringthebellassoonasyouwake,soI’dbetterdothat,hadn’tI?They

saidIcouldcomebackpresently.’ShekissedEmmaagainandwenttothedoor,andasshewentoutBrenda,anotherofEmma’sfriendsandSisterofWomen’sSurgical,camein.Brendawastall,darkandbeautiful,verygoodatherjob,obliviousofhergoodlooksandperfectlyhappywithherlife.Thestorywentthatshehadbeendatedatsometimeorotherbyeverypresentablemanwithinaten-mileradiusofthehospital,andEmma,watchingherasshewalkedtowardsthebed,decidedthatitwasprobablyanunderstatement.

‘Whyaren’tyoumarried?’sheaskedasBrendacametoahaltbythebed.Brenda’slovelyfacesplitintoagrin.‘Hey,you’resupposedtomurmur

“WhereamI?”ormoangentlyaboutthepain,notputsearchingquestionsaboutmylovelife!’Shewhippedbackthebedclothesandwenton,‘Ifyoumustknow,I’mhavinggreatfunasIam,thankyou.Besides,there’sthatcornyoldtype,agirlhoodsweetheart,obliginglywaitinguntilIwanttosettledown.’

Shecastanexperteyeoverthesmallneatscarandremarkedcomfortably,‘Thatwon’tnoticeinsixweeksorso—nicetidyjoboldPhillipsdoes.Likeacupoftea?Nurseshallbringyouone,thenyou’llbesatout,mygirl,andlikeit.’

‘It’sthespoilingI’vebeenlookingforwardto,’murmuredEmma.‘Why’sMotherhere?’

‘ProfessorTeylingenfetchedher.’SherolledherexpressivedarkeyesatEmma.‘Thatcarofhismusttravel—hewasthereandbackalmostbeforeoldPhillipscouldlifthisscalpel.Cameandlookedatyoutheminuteyouwereoutoftheatre,too.’

‘Oh?’Emma’svoicewascarefullyexpressionless.‘Whereishenow?’‘Operating,ofcourse.It’sgoneteno’clock,ducky,you’vebeensnoringyour

headoffallnight.’TowhichunkindremarkEmmareactednaturallyenoughwith,‘DoIlook

awful?’Herhandsomefriendregardedherwithakindlyeye.‘No,notintheleast—a

littlelikeamousethat’sundertheweather,perhaps—butmicearerathersweet.’Emmasighed.Anyonecouldberathersweet;atermappliedtoanyage

groupfromaday-oldbabytoanoldladyofninety.Itwouldbewonderfultobepallidlybeautifulwithgreatblueeyesfullofsufferingandeveryonefallingoverthemselvestodothingsforyou…

‘Upsy-daisy,’saidBrendacheerfully,andsatherupinbed.‘Here’syourtea—Nurse,putthatbowlwhereSistercanreachit,justincasesheneedsit—thefirstcupofteadoesn’talwaysstaydown,youknow.Ringwhenyou’vefinishedit,Emma,andoneofthenurseswillgiveyouabedbath,thenwe’llgetyouintoachair—can’thaveyoulyingaroundinbed,youknow.You’llwantsomenighties—I’llsendanurseovertoyourroomtogetsome.’

Emmasippedtheteawithcaution.‘Please—topdrawerofthedressingtable—twopinkonesandthere’sonewithbluedaisies,andadressinggownbehindthedoor—thepinkonewiththeruffle.’

‘Soundsnice,’commentedBrenda.‘CanNursegetin?’‘Myuniformpocket;mykeys,’saidEmma,suddenlyovercomebyagreat

longingtogotosleepagain.Sheawokehalfanhourlater,muchrefreshedbyherbriefnap,tofindher

motherthere.MrsHastingssmiledatherhappilyandsaid:‘Brendatoldmetoletyousleep—whatanicegirlsheis,andsoprettytoo.I

mustgoagain,darling,sothatyoucanbebathedandgotup,butI’llbebackthisafternoon.I’mnotgoinghomeuntilJustinhasfinishedhislist.’

Emmanodded.‘That’snice.PoorMother,whatarottentimeyou’vehad,sittingtherewhileIsnoremyheadoff.’Shegaveherparentanaffectionateglance,thinkingatthesametimethatshewasn’tlikelytoseeJustin.Shefrowned,tryingtorememberwhatwasdownfortheday,andwhenshedid,decidedthathewouldbekeptbusyuntilfiveo’clockatleast,perhapslaterthanthat,andifhewasgoingtotakehermotherhome,bythetimehereturned,sheherselfwouldbeinbedandasleep.Shesaid,‘ItwasdecentofJustintofetchyou,darling—thankyouforcoming.’

MrsHastingslookedsurprised.‘But,Emma,Ishouldhavecomeanyway.Asitwas,Justinsawtoeverything—itmadeitallsoeasy.’ShegotupandkissedEmma.‘I’mgoingbeforethatniceBrendaturnsmeout.’

Itwasrefreshingtobebathed,eveninbed,andhaveoneofherownnightiesonagain.Emma,faintlyapprehensive,swungherlegsoverthesideofthebedandwithBrendabesideher,wasstooduponcottonwoollegs,walkedtoachairandsatinit,whereshesubmittedtohavingherhairbrushedandherdressing-gownputon,whichdone:

‘Thereyouare,’saidBrendaencouragingly.‘Howdoyoufeel?’‘Hollow.’‘Thatwearsoff,ducky.I’llgetapaperforyoutoreadandhere’sthebellif

youwantanyone.There’llbealittlelightsomethingonatraypresently.’Shemadeforthedoor.‘Beseeingyou!’

Emmareadthepaperslowlyfromfronttoback,nottakinginawordbecausehermindwasfullofJustin.Surelyhecouldhavelookedinonherbeforetheliststarted,orevensentamessage?Sheswallowedaridiculousdesiretoburstintotears,tellingherselfitwasbecauseshefeltsostupidlyweak,andread,forthesecondtime,thesportingpage,notalineofwhichmadeanysensetoher.

Shehadpeckedwithoutappetiteatthelittlesomethingonatray,andthe

nursehadtakenitawayagainwhenthedooropenedoncemoreandbecauseshewasfeelingdrowsyEmmadidn’topenhereyeswhensheheardthecrispswishofBrenda’sapronandherlightlaugh;butthelaughwasechoed.EmmaopenedhereyesandsawMrPhillipsandJustinfollowingherfriendintotheroom.TheycameandstoodinfrontofherchairandMrPhillipssaid,‘Verynice—Ilikepink,’whichwassounexpectedaremarkthatalittleofthatcolourwashedoverEmma’spalecheeks.Hetookherpulse,peeredatherknowledgeablyoverhisspectacles,askedafewquestionspertinenttotheremovalofanappendixandthenstrolledbacktothedoor,professinghimselfentirelysatisfied.‘Busy,’hemumbledashewent.‘Talktoyoulater,’andwentaway.

EmmahopedthatBrendawouldgowithhim,butshestayedwhereshewasbesideJustin,whostoodwithhishandsinhispocketslookingdownatEmmawithadetachedair.HeinquiredpolitelyafterherhealthandthenstoodsilentlywhileBrendarattledoncheerfully,laughingalittleatherbecauseshewasamusingaswellasremarkablypretty.Emma,watchingher,feltpaleanduninterestingandalittlepeevishandtalkedhardlyatall.Onlyashervisitorsturnedtogodidshebringherselftosay,‘Itwaskindofyoutofetchmymother,ProfessorTeylingen.Thankyou.’

Helookedasthoughhewasgoingtolaugh.‘Mydeargirl,itwastheleastIcoulddo—Ihadtomakeamends,didInot?Supposingyourexcusestobemerelyexcuseswhenallthewhiletheyweregenuine.Iapologizehandsomely,ifonlytopreventyoufromcallingmeProfessorTeylingeninthatredoubtablefashion.’Hedidn’tlookamusedanymore,onlyconcerned.‘Youwereverybrave,Emma—itmusthaveneededagreatdealofcouragetohavestoodthereaslongasyoudid.Itcertainlygavethepatientafairchance.I’mverymuchinyourdebt.’

Hesmiled,andEmma,fightingasecond,muchstrongerdesiretocry,staredathimwordlesslywhilehewishedheraquickgoodbyeandmadeforthedoor,sayingthathewasalreadylate.

Hecameagainatfiveo’clock,whenEmmawasbackinbed,lookingwashedout,halflisteningtohermother’ssoothinginconsequentialchatter.Hecamealonethistime,apileofmagazinesunderonearmandanextravagantbouquetofrosesundertheother,andlaidhisofferingsonherbed,observingapologeticallythathewouldhavebroughtthemsoonerbutthatthelisthadbeenaheavyone.Hisvoicewaslight,butEmma,lookingathim,couldseethathewastired,sothatshe,fullofremorseforforgettinghishardday,saidwarmly,‘Thankyou,Justin,howlovelyandhowkindyouare.’Shesmiledathimrathertremulouslyandashesmiledback,thetirednesssomehowdisappeared.

‘Feelingbetter?’hewantedtoknow,thenpickedupherhandandheldit

betweenhisown,andalthoughhisvoicehadn’tchanged,histouchwasfirmandcomforting.Emma,herhandfastheldbetweenhis,feltsuddenlythateverythingwasrightoncemoreandsaidcheerfully,‘Oh,yes—heapsbetter.’

‘Good.I’vecometotakeyourmotherhome.’HeglancedacrosstoMrsHastings,Emma’shandstillinhis.‘Unlessyouwanttospendanothernighthere?’hewantedtoknow.

MrsHastingsshookherhead.‘Emma’sallrightnow,isn’tshe?Ican’tthankyouenoughforfetchingme,Justin,andIfeelawfulaboutyoudrivingallthatwaynowafterahardday’swork.Areyousure…?’

‘Quitesure,’hisvoicewasunconcerned.‘Ifinddrivingrelaxingafterstandingforhoursinthetheatre.’

‘ThenI’lljustgoandsaygoodbyetothatniceBrendaandgettheseflowersintowater.’Shegatheredthemupasshespoke,smiledatJustinandthenatEmmaanddisappeared.

‘Stillcrosswithme,Emma?’Justinaskedasheseatedhimselfonthesideofherbed.Helookedkindandfriendlyandshesaidatonce:

‘HaveIbeenbeastly?I’venoreasontobe—you’vebeensokind…’‘ButIdidn’tcomeuntilafterthemorninglist,didI?’heprompted,hiseyes

twinkling.Shepinkened.‘Therewasn’tanyneed—Ididn’texpect…’‘No?I’mdisappointed.’Emmaeyedhimwarily;probablyhewasteasingher.Hewasn’t.Thepink

deepeneddelicatelyasheliftedthehandhehadbeenholdingandkisseditgentlyandshesaidatriflebreathlessly,‘IthoughtIheardyourvoice—beforeIwasquiteconscious—butwhenIopenedmyeyesyouweren’tthere.’

‘IcametohavealookatyouwithMrPhillipsaftertheyhadputyoubacktobed.Youwerealmostround,butIcouldn’twait—therewasapatient…’

‘Oh,dear,’saidEmma,andrepeatedwithoutmuchoriginality,‘you’resokind.’Twotearstrickleduntidilydownhercheeksandshewipedthemawaywiththebackofherfreehand.

‘Surelynoreasonforcrying?’theprofessorwantedtoknow.Sheswallowedatthetearscrowdingherthroatandafteramomentfaltered,

‘Idon’tknowwhyI’mcrying,’andmanagedawaterysmileashermothercamebackintotheroom.

Sheputtheflowersonthebedtable.‘Aren’ttheygorgeous,Emma?IdohopeyouthankedJustinnicely.’

‘Iwasjustgoing…’beganEmmawhentheprofessorinterruptedwith:‘Ontheverypointofdoingso,wereyounot,Emma?’andbentdown,his

eyestwinklingwickedly.Shekissedhisprofferedcheekmeeklyunderher

mother’spleasedeyes,submittedtoacarefulmaternalembraceandwatchedthemgothroughthedoortogether,notsurewhethertolaughorcry.Shewasstillmakinguphermindwhenshefellsuddenlyasleep.

Beingyoungandhealthy,shesleptwithonlythebriefestofwakefulperiodsuntilthejuniornightnursebroughtheranearlymorningcupofteaandthenreturnedpresentlytoescorthertothewash-basininthecorneroftheroom.Emma,walkingalittlegingerlystill,decidedthatalthoughshewasstillvaguelysoreanduncomfortablewalkingwasn’ttoobad;allthesame,shewasgladtogetbackintobedandbrushherhair—shehadmeanttodosomethingtoherfacetoo,buttheeffortwastoogreat,soshelaybackthankfullyagainstthepillowsandpickedupthefirstoftheglossymagazinestheprofessorhadbrought.ShewasstillporingoveritwhenBrendacameinateighto’clock.

‘Hullo,’saidEmma.‘Idofeelafraud.Isleptlikeatop,too—andIwalkedovertothebasin.’

‘Verynicetoo,’saidBrendacheerfully,‘buttosaveanyfurtherargument,you’rehereforeightdays,ducky,andthenyou’llgetatleastthreeweek’ssickleave—anddon’ttellmethat’stoolong,forremember,you’llbeonyourfeetmostofthedayonceyou’rebackinthattheatreofyours,workingallhours,andnoonewilllistenifyoupleadtired.Youhadanastyappendix,youknow,andforallyourbravewords,youlooklikeskimmedmilk.’Shesmiledwidely.‘NowImustgoandtakethereport—I’llcomebackpresentlyandwe’llhavecoffeetogetherandthat’llgivemeachancetocastaneyeoverthese.’Shenoddedtowardsthemagazines.‘Who’sthegenerousdonor?Theprofessor,Isuppose—didhegiveyoutherosestoo?Ithoughtso.Nicework,littleEmma—hemustprizeyouhighly.’

Emmabitherlip.‘Asatheatresister,yes,Ithinkhedoes.He’snicetoworkfor,youknow.’

Brendachuckled.‘Ithoughtperhapshewas.Iimaginehe’sjustasnicewhenhe’snotworking.IthinkI’llhaveatryforhim—hemightbefun.Youdon’tmind?’

‘Mind?’echoedEmmalightly,mindingverymuchindeed.‘WhyonearthshouldImind?GoaheadandI’llstudyyourtechniquefrommybed,heavenknowsIcoulduseit.’SheevenmanagedasmileasBrenda,chuckling,wentaway.

Theprofessordidn’tcomeuntilaftertea,withBrenda,lookingmagnificent,besidehim,andEmma,hereyessharpenedbylove,watchedeverylookandgesturehervisitorsmadeandlistenedtoeverywordwhichwassaid,twistingthemostcommonplaceremarksintodoublemeanings,anoperationofdoubtfulvaluebroughttoanendbytheprofessorsayingsuavely,‘Don’tletmekeepyou,

Sister,I’msureyoumustbewaitingtogetbacktotheward.I’llseeyoubeforeIgo,Idaresay.’

TheywenttothedoortogetherandEmmashuthereyesandwhensheopenedthemagainhewasonthepointofsittingonthebed.

‘Notsowell?’heinquiredkindly.‘Ifeelverywell,thankyou,’saidEmmainastifflittlevoice.Hegaveheraconsideredglanceandsmiledfaintly,andhisvoicewasbland.

‘Whatalovelygirlyourfriendis—solovelythatI’mfrightenedofher.’Emmaconsideredthispieceofnonsensebeforereplying;fornonsenseit

was.‘Brenda’squitebeautiful.’‘Icouldn’tagreewithyoumore.Andnowtellme,howdoyoufeel?’Emmastolealookathim.Hewasexamininghiswell-kepthandsandhad

hisheadlowered;helookedupatthatmomentandshesaidhurriedly:‘Itoldyou—Ifeelsimplymarvellous.’‘That’sbetter.DoyousupposethatthemagnificentBrendawillallowmeto

comeagainthiseveningandbringtwomorevisitorswithme?’Hereyesflewtohisplacidface.‘Two?Whoarethey—whenwillthey

come?’‘Yes,two,andIdon’tintendtotellyouwho,sodon’task.’Hegotup,

smilingather.‘I’llbeback,Emma.’Afterhehadgoneshesatbackamongstthewelterofmagazines,goingover

theirbriefconversation.ItwasalittledifficulttoknowifhehadbeenteasingaboutBrenda.Apparentlyhehadn’t,forBrenda,cominginanhourlater,satdowncomfortablyontheendofthebed,observinggoodnaturedly,‘Well,mytechniquefailed,didn’tit?Yourprofessor’scharming,butIdidn’tmakemuchimpressiononthatblandmaskofhis.’

Emmafeltawarmglowofsatisfactionatthesewords,butbecauseshelikedBrendasheremarkedplacatingly:

‘Well,ifyoufailedIcan’tseeanyoneelsesucceeding.’Brendagaveheranamusedlook.‘Caretohaveatryyourself?’Emmashookherhead.‘Iwouldn’tknowhow,’shesaid,andmeantit.‘Maybethat’stheanswer,’Brendamurmured.‘LendmethatVogue,Emma.’Shewentawaypresently,themagazineunderonearm,andleftEmmatoher

supper.Itwaseighto’clockwhentheprofessorreturned,bringingLittleWillyand

Kittywithhim.Hersisterlookedradiant,EmmaobservedasKittydartedacrosstheroomtohugher,droppingapaperparcelandsomeflowersonthebedasshedidso.

‘Emma—youpoordear!FancyyouwithanappendixandJustinsaysyou

wereeversobraveaboutit.’Shecaughtsightoftherosesandasked,‘Who’stheboy-friend?Justlookatthose,anyonewouldthinkyouwereafilmstar.I’llputmineinavase,shallI—there’sasprayintheparcel—Chantilly,darling,so’syoucansitinacloudoffragrance.’

Emmadecidedtoignoretheremarkabouttheboy-friend.Themenweretalkingtogether,buttheprofessorhadsharpears.Shewentredintheface,hopinghehadn’theard,andasked,‘ButKitty—yourexams—Ithought…’

‘Onetoday,darling,andanothertomorrow,butWill’stakingmeback.I’llbehomeattheendoftheweek,though,andMotherandI’llcossetyou.Howlongwilltheygiveyoutorecover?’Shedidn’twaitforananswerbutrepeatedherquestiontoJustin,whohadcometoleanagainsttheendofthebed,watchingher.

‘Threeweeks,’heansweredcasuallyasWillapproachedthebedandsaidawkwardly,‘Hullo,Emma.Hardluck,oldgirl—nicetoseeyoubetter,though.’

Emmathankedhimnicelyandwhenitbecameobviousthathehadnomoretosayonthesubject,asked,‘Beenbusy,Will?’

‘Lord,yes,Staff’sprettygood,though,andnowthere’ssomeonecalledSisterLuce.ShekeepsaskingJustinifhe’sgottherightinstruments.It’sabitwearing,ifyoudon’tcomebackquicklyweshallbeoldmenbeforeourtime.Wheredidtheydredgethecreatureupfromanyway?’

Emmagiggled.‘ShewastheatresisterforaweekortwowhileIwasstillastaffnurse—longbeforeyourtime,’sheaddedseverely,‘buttheydecidedthatshewasunsuitable—butifthereisnooneelsethey’dhaveputherbackintheatre;afterall,sheistrainedforit.Perhapsyoufrightenher.’

WillcastheranindignantlookandJustinroaredwithlaughter.‘You’remistaken,Emma.Wearefrightenedofher,aren’twe,Will?Butdon’tworry,deargirl,weshallholdupthetrickycasesuntilyou’rebackagain.’

‘You’renot!’Emmasatuptooquicklyandwinced.Shelookedquiteprettybyreasonofthesplashofcolourinherstillpalecheeks.‘Howverymean—supposingIstillfeelpoorly?Imightnotbeabletostandforhoursonend,youknow.’

‘Inwhichcase,’interposedJustinsmoothly,‘weshalljusthavetogoonwaiting,shan’twe?’

Hewalkedovertothedoorandpickedupaparcelhehaddroppedonachairandbroughtitbacktothebed.‘Maybethesewillhelpyoutohastenyourrecovery,Emma.’

Therewerefourbooks,ofasorttokeepEmmaamusedandinterestedforhours.Sheexaminedthemwithdelightandsaidhappily.

‘Thankyou,Justin.Thedaysareratherlong,youknow.You’reverykind—’

Shebitherlipbecauseeachtimeshesawhimsheseemedtohavesaidthat,andhewaslookingamusednow.Buthedidn’tsayanything,merelyturnedtoKittyandremindedherthatifWillwastogetherbacktohospitalintimeforagoodnight’ssleepshehadbetterbegoing,whereuponshehuggedEmmaoncemore,besoughthertotakecareofherself,signifiedherreadinesstoleavewithWillimmediatelyandthendartedacrosstheroomtoflingherarmsroundJustin’sneckandkisshimsoundly.‘KeepaneyeonourEmma,’shecommandedhimasshewent.

TherewasalittlesilencewhentheyhadgoneandEmma,afteradartingglanceattheprofessor,begantoleafthroughthebookswithanalmostpainfulinterest.Whenhespokehisvoiceheldthehintofalaugh.

‘Howfortunate,’hesaid,‘thatIamsufficientlyKitty’sslavetodoexactlyasshewishes.’

‘Dowhat?’askedEmma,pretendingnottoknow.‘Why,keepaneyeonyou,Emma,whatelse?Howdidthedaygo?’Shetoldhim,althoughtherewasn’tmuchtotell.‘Itseemsstrangewith

nothingtodo—butIshallbegettinguplongertomorrowandthenextdayI’mtodress.’

‘Andthenthreeweeks’holiday—Imaybegonebeforeyoureturn,Emma.’Shehadn’tthoughtofthat.‘No—youcan’t.Imean,’sheamendedhastily,‘it

isn’tassoonasthat,isit?Howtimeflies!’Shepaused,awarethathehadnointentionofansweringthisfoolishremark.‘WillyougobacktoHolland?’

Shestaredathispassiveface,feelingsickatthethoughtofit.‘Why,yes,foritismyhomeandmyworkisthere.’‘I’llnottakeanymoreofyourcases,then.’‘Probablynot.’Hesoundedfartoocheerfulaboutit.‘Idon’texpecttoreturn

tothishospitalintheimmediatefuture,andinthemeantimemuchcouldhappen,Emma.’

Hewasstaringhardatherandallshecouldthinkoftosaywas,‘Yes?’‘Iintendtomarry,Emma.’Shefeltthecolourleaveherface,whichdidn’tmatterovermuch,forshewas

stillpalefromtheoperation,butitwasimportanttokeepapolitelyinterestedexpressiononherfaceatallcosts.Insideherwasdesolation,tobeignoreduntilshewasaloneandcouldweepinadecentsolitude.Shesaidnowinabrightvoice,‘That’llbeniceforyou.Ihopeyou’llbehappy.’Andthenbecauseshecouldn’thelpherself,‘DoIknowher?’

Hehadn’tstoppedstaring,butnowhesmiled.‘Verywell,Emma,’hebegan,andwasinterruptedbyMrPhillips,whowanderedinwithanabsentmindedairofnotquiteknowingwhyhehadcome,butwhenhecaughtsightofthe

professorhesaidatonce,‘TheverymanIwant—there’sacase…’HebrokeoffandturnedhisattentionuponEmma,sittinglikeasmallstatueagainstherpillows,willinghimtogoawayagainbecauseJustinhadbeenonthepointoftellinghersomethingandnowprobablytheopportunitywouldneveroccuragain.

‘EmmaHastings,’saidMrPhillips,‘howareyou?’Hewanderedovertothebedandpeeredatherinakindlyfashion.‘Imustsayyou’renotaverygoodcolour.I’dbettergetthePath.Lab.peopletoseeaboutyourhaemoglobin—atrifleanaemic,perhaps.I’llseeMatroninthemorning.Threeweeks’sickleave,Isaid,didn’tI?Youmaygohomethedayafteryourstitchescomeout.When’sthat?’

Emmatoldhim.‘Yes,well—you’lldo,havetotakecareofoneofourbestSisters,won’twe?

Alifetimeofworkaheadofyou,Ifancy.’Hesmiledatherkindly,pattedhershoulderandsaidtoJustin:‘Ah,yes,there’sawoman—theX-raysshowsomethinginherchest.I’mnot

sure—I’dlikeyoutotakealook.’Emmasatandwatchedtheprofessor,withoutanyapparentdisappointment

athavingtoleaveher,agreetoaccompanyMrPhillips.Hiscasualgood-nighttoherastheywentthroughthedoorheldnohiddenmeaning,nordidhegiveheranybutthebriefestofglances.Whenthedoorhadclosedbehindthem,sheburstintotears.

Justindidn’tcomeatallthenextday,althoughhesentamessageviaBrendaexpressingthehopethatshewasimproving.ButStaffcame,fullofcheerfulandamusinggossipandsomerathertouchingmessagesfromthetheatrestaff.Itwasonlyasshewasonthepointofleavingthatshementionedthattheprofessorhadfinishedhislistatthreeo’clockthatafternoon.

‘Oh?’saidEmmasharply.‘Whywasthat?’‘Don’tknow,Sister,andI’dneverdaretoaskhim.He’sadear,isn’the?but

very—youknow,he’snotthesortofpersonyou’d…’ShestoppedagainandEmma,helpingherout,said,‘Iknowjustwhatyoumean,Staff.What’sonfortomorrow?’

Stafftoldher.Anall-daylist,itseemed.Emmadecidedhewouldn’tbecomingtoseehertomorroweither,andreally,shetoldherselfsternly,whyshouldhe?Hehadbroughtbooksandmagazinesandflowersandmadesurethatshewasrecovering;therewasnoneedforhimtoseeheragain.Probablyhehadforgottenthatshewouldbegoinghomeinthreedaysandthathewouldbegonebeforeshegotbacktowork,andthatmightbeagoodthing,becausethentheywouldn’thavetosaygoodbye.

Shepeckedathersupper,hertempernotimprovedbytheappearanceofthenightstaffnurseateighto’clock—athinnervousyoungwomanwithasmallfrustratedfacepeeringthroughawildhairarrangement.SheaskedEmmafussyquestionsinanervouswayandEmmaansweredpolitely,refusedasleepingtabletandthenlistenedwithmountingirritationtoaseriesofgrumblesencompassingthenursingprofessioningeneral,nightdutyinparticular,thepatients,thefoodandtherudenessofananaesthetistwhohadhauledheroverthecoalsbecauseadriphadgoneintothetissues.‘AsthoughIcouldhelpit,Sister,’moanedthegirl.

Emmabitbacktheretortshelongedtomakeandsetaboutsoothingherinstead,forthereweretwentyoddpatientsinthemainward;ifNightNursewasupsetshemightpossiblypassonherfeelingstothem,whichwouldmeananightwhenbellspingedeveryfewminutesandthejuniornursewouldberunoffherfeetshakinguppillowsandwarmingmilk.Itwasallwrong,butEmmaknewfromexperiencethatitcouldhappen;shesetaboutcalminghervisitorandpresentlyhadthesatisfactionofseeingherlookmorecheerful.

ShewasalmostasleepwhenBrendacameinandchuckledhazilyatherfriend’sobservationonStaffNurseFoster.‘Poorgirl,’saidBrenda,‘everything’samajordisastertoherandeveryone’sinleagueagainsther,especiallyme.How’stheboy-friend?’

ThequestionwasaskedbrisklyandEmma,whowasonlyhalfawake,lookedbewildered.‘Ihaven’tgotone.’

‘Theprofessor,silly.’‘He’snot—Iworkforhim.’‘Mymistake,ducky.AsIsaid,hemustprizeyourservicesveryhighly.’‘Verylikely,’saidEmmaalittletartly,‘Iworkhard.’‘Whichremindsme,’saidBrenda,‘sodoI.I’dbettershowmyfaceinthe

ward.‘Bye,Emma—seeyouinthemorning.’Thenextdaywaslong,dullanddespitethebooks,magazinesandvisits

fromvariousofherfriends,boring.EventhevisitofthePrincipalNursingOfficerwiththeconfirmationofthreeweeks’sickleavefailedtoexciteEmma.Bysixo’clockshewasquitepeevishanddecidedthatsupperinbedwithoneofthebookswouldbepreferabletosittinginachairhopingforJustintocomein.Shekickedoffhershoespettishlybecauseundressingwasawearisomebusiness,andtuggedattheziponthebackofherdress.Itransmoothlyforseveralinchesandthenstuck,andhoweverhardshepulled,itstayedstuck;forEmmathis,tocomeattheendofadayshehadn’tintheleastenjoyed,wasthelaststraw.Herusualeventemper,alreadybadlyfrayed,dissolvedintochildishtantrumssothatwhentherewasabriefknockonthedoorasitopened,shesnapped,‘Oh,for

heaven’ssakecomeinandgetmeoutofthiswretcheddress—thezip’scaught.’Shedidn’tbothertolookroundbutwentonfumblingatthebackofher

dress,awarethataddedtoeverythingelse,herstitcheswerepulling,butherfingersfrozeasJustinsaidcheerfully,‘Takeyourfingersaway,girl,Ican’tseeunlessyoudo—andstandstill.’

Shestoodstillwhileheworkedthezipfree,undidittoitslength,inquiredathismostplacid,‘Isthisyourdressing-gown—thispinkthing?Getoutofthatdressandputiton,’andwhenshehesitated:‘Icanneverunderstandwhyagirlcanappearonabeachinnexttonothingandyetbehorrifiedattheideaofbeingseeninherundies.Ishouldhavethoughtthatabikini—er—exposedagooddealmoreofherperson.Nowbequick,Emma,forIwanttotalktoyou.’

Hisvoicewascalmandreassuringlymatter-of-fact.Shedidasshewastoldandslippedherarmsintothedressing-gownhewasholdingouttoher.

‘Jumpintobed,’headvised.‘Youcanfinishundressinglater.’Soshegotintobed,stillwithoutwords,buthedidn’tappeartohavenoticed

hersilence,forhemadehimselfcomfortableinthechairshehadvacated,remarking,‘Youseemedlow-spiritedyesterday.I’vebroughtsomechampagneforyou.Brendahasit—she’llseethatyougetaglasswithyourlunch.Itwillcheeryouup.’

Shelookedathimthen,hertemperquiteevaporatedandsmiledalittleshyly.‘That’svery…’shebegan,andthenstoppedbecauseshewasabouttotellhimthathewaskindagainanditreallywouldnotdo.‘Whatalovelysurprise,’sheamended.‘Thankyou.’

Hesettledmorecomfortablyinhischair,gaveherasharpglanceandaskedcarelessly,‘Haveyouanyplans?’

Emmashookherhead,awarethatinsteadofmakingplanslikeanysensiblegirlwould,shewastedherdaysthinkingabouthim.

‘Ishallgohome,’shereplied.‘I—Icanpotterinthegarden,youknow,andKittywillbethere,soitwon’tbetoohardonMother.’

Theprofessorcrossedonelegovertheother.‘I’mgoingovertoHollandveryshortly—justforacoupleofdays;Ihavesomebusinesstoseeto.WillyouandKittytravelwithmeandspendtwoorthreeweeksatmyhome?Myauntwillbedelightedtohaveyou,shelovescompanyandhasfrequentlyspokenofyou.’

Emmaopenedhermouthandthenprudentlycloseditagainbeforeshesaidsomethingrash.Herinstantdesirehadbeentosayyes;herpulseratehadjumpedalarminglyatthemereidea.Shesaidslowly,‘Howkind,’andwatchedhimsmile.‘Kitty?’shebeganagain.

‘Kittythinksittobeasplendidideaandsodoesyourmother.’Heanswered

casually,justasthough,thoughtEmmacrossly,itwasofnoimportancetohimwhatherownopinionofhisplanswouldbe.Shefrownedandhegottohisfeetandmadehisleisurelywaytothedoor,saying:

‘There’splentyoftimetodecideifyouliketheideaornot;Idon’tplantogobeforeFriday.’HishandwasonthedoorwhenEmmafoundhervoice.

‘Itsoundslovely,’shebegan,‘andI’msorryIdidn’t—wasn’tmore…I’vehadabeastlyday,’sheaddedbywayofexplanation,anexplanationwhichseemedtosatisfyhim,forhecamebackandsatdownonthebedandsaidpleasantly:

‘Itwillatleastmakeachangeforyouanditissoquietthereyouwon’ttireyourselfoutdashingaround.Thegardenismostpleasanttositinandtherearesomedelightfulwalkswhenyoufeellikeit,andwehavemanyfriends,youwon’tlackforcompany.’

Onlyyours,thoughtEmma.Ifshestayedawayforthreeweekshewouldbeonthepointofleavingthehospital;hemightevenbegone.Sherefusedtothinkofit—threeweekswasalongtime,miracleshappenedstill;onemighthappenforher.Shesmiledsuddenly.‘IthinkI’dliketocomeverymuch,Justin,ifyou’resureyouraunt…?’

Hesaidbriefly,‘I’msure.We’llgoonFridayevening,there’sanightferrytoZeebrugge.You’llbeabletogetsomesleeponboardandwecanbehomeshortlyafterbreakfast.ThatgivesmetherestofthedaytosettlemyaffairsandafewhoursofleisureonSundaybeforeIreturn.’

‘That’snotverylong.’Heturnedawayfromherandlookedoutofthewindowattheviewof

Southampton’srooftops.‘IshallhavetimeenoughtodowhatIwishtodo.Youthinkyouliketheidea,then?’

Emmacouldthinkofnothingshewouldlikebetter.Shesaidso,hertonguerathermoreguardedthanherthoughts.‘DoyouwantustocomehereandmeetyouonFridayevening?’shewantedtoknow.

‘I’mafraidyou’llhaveto,Emma.We’renotoperatinguntiltheafternoonandit’squiteaheavylist.IdoubtifI’mfreebeforefive.CouldKittydriveyoubackinyourcar?’

‘Ofcourse—she’sgoingtofetchmeonWednesdayanyway.Thatgivesusadaytogetpacked.’

Henoddedandgottohisfeetoncemore.‘Imustgo,I’mdueintheatreinafewminutes.’

Emmasatupinbed.‘Anemergency?’andwhenhenoddedagain,‘Who’staking?MaryWorth?’MarywasanotherfriendandNightTheatreSister.

‘Yes.Ihadn’tmetherbefore.Averyattractivegirl,’aremarkwhichwas

softenedby,‘Imissyou,Emma,’ashewentthroughthedoor.Shesaidquicklybeforehecouldcloseitbehindhim,‘That’sonlybecause

you’vegotusedtome.Maryissuperatherjob,soisStaff…’Hedidn’tallowhertofinishbutcutthroughherobservationswithplacid

firmness.‘Yourmistake,Emma.Ishallnevergetusedtoyou.’Thedoorshutquietlybehindhim.Kitty,whenshecametofetchEmmahome,wassurprisinglymatter-of-fact

aboutJustin’sinvitation,toEmma’stentativeopinionthatheseemedtobegoingtounnecessarylengths,invitingthembothatamoment’snotice,sherepliedratherdampingly,‘Butwhyevershouldn’the,Emma?He’sonlyreturninghospitality,afterall,andheknowsyou’llbebetterforaholidayandIsupposehewantsyoubackinthetheatreassoonaspossibleforeveryone’sbenefit.Andwhatmorenaturalthanaskingmealongtoosothatyouwon’tbelonely?He’snotgoingtobethere,youknow.’

WhichseemedanargumentEmmahadnoreadyanswerfor.Shespenttheshortstayathomeinpacking,ratherlanguidlybecauseshe

stillfeltsurprisinglyfragile.IntheendKittydiditforher,addingquiteafewclothesshehadneverintendedtotakewithher,butasKittyexplained,theyneverknew;theymightbeaskedtoapartyorsomethingsimilarandfeelutterfoolsiftheyhadn’tanythingtowear.‘I’veputinyourbrownandwhite,’shecontinued,‘andthatorangecrêpewiththeaprontopandthewhiteblouse,andI’veputinanothercottondress.Really,Emma,we’regoingforalmostthreeweeksandyoudon’thavetowearthesameoldthingeveryday—supposingJustinweretocomeoverandtakeusout?’

‘That’smostunlikely,’saidEmmaratherwoodenly.‘Hewon’thavetime.’‘No?Well,perhapsWillcouldpopover.’‘Will?WhyonearthshouldWillwanttoseeus?We’renotgoingforever.’‘Notus—me,’saidKittyinasatisfiedvoice.‘Helikesme—andIlikehim.’

Shesnappedthecaseshehadpackedclosed.‘There,nowwe’reready,wecanhavealazymorningandleaveafterlunch.’

TheyarrivedatWilliamandMary’swithtenminutestospareandJustinandWillcameoutoftheCardiacThoracicUnitasKittyparkeduntidilybetweenHomeSister’selderly,well-cared-forMorrisandthehospitalsecretary’sdignifiedRover.

Kittybouncedoutofthecartomeetthem.‘Youseewe’reontime,’shecried.‘Hullo,bothofyou.Theluggageisintheboot.’

‘Andbeforewetakeitoutgivemethekeys,’saidWill,‘andI’llparkthisjalopyofyoursinastraightline—Women!’headdedscornfully.

‘Yes,butaren’twenice?’Kittyremarkedwithengagingself-confidence.

‘Besides,it’sEmma’scarandshedrivesverywell.’AndEmma,gettingout,caughtJustin’seyeandhadthegracetoblush.

ItwasKittywhodecidedairilythatshewouldtravelinfrontwithJustinsothatEmmacouldhavethewholeofthebackseattoherselfincaseshewantedtosleeporputherfeetup.EmmahadnowishtoputherfeetupandwouldhavesaidsoifJustinhadn’tsoreadilyagreedthatitseemedacapitalidea.SoshedeclaredthatshewouldbemarvellouslycomfortableintheRolls’luxuriousbackandwouldverylikelygotosleep,andwasinfactsoquietthatshemightwellhavebeensleeping,whileinfactshewaswideawake,stiflingatendencytoill-humour,afactwhichdidn’tpreventher,whentheystoppedforameal,fromdeclaringthatshewasperfectlyhappywhereshewasandrefusing,quiteemphatically,Justin’sofferforhertositinfrontwithhimfortheremainderofthejourney.Itwasapitythathedidn’tseemtomindintheleast,merelyremarking,‘Justasyoulike,Emma,’andthenturningtomakesomelaughingremarktoKitty.Emmastaredoutofthewindowanddecidedthatshehatedhim.

Theywerefirstinthequeueofcarsfortheferryandasthelateeveningwasclearandwarm,theygotoutandstrolledrounduntilitwastimetoembark,andundertheinfluenceoftheprofessor’sgentleconversation,EmmarecoveredhergoodtemperandwentoffcheerfullyenoughwithKittytotheircabinwiththeinjunctionfromJustintomeethimintenminutesintheship’sbar.ThecabinwasdecidedlymorecomfortablethantheoneEmmaandhermotherhadoccupiedwhentheyhadreturnedfromtheirholidayandshelookedaroundwithsomethinglikesuspicion.

‘Kitty,whobookedthecabins?Imean,thisonemusthavecostalotmore…’

‘It’sallright,Emma,’saidKitty.Shetossedherhandbagontheupperberthandstudiedherfaceinthelittlemirror.‘Mothersaidnottoworry,shehadsomedividendsshehadn’texpectedandwe’retosettlewithherlateron.’

Itsoundedreasonableenough.Emmapokedatherhair.Shelookedpaleanddull,shethought,staringatherreflection.Eventhebluedresswhichsuitedhersowelllookedallwrong;notthatitmattered,Justinwouldn’tnotice.

Hewaswaitingforthematatablebyawindowsothattheycouldseethelightedquayside.TheydrankCampariwhileheentertainedthemwithagentleflowofconversationwhichshefoundsosoothingeventhoughshesuspectedthatheuseditasameanstopreventanyoneelsetakingtheconversationintotheirownhandsandprobablyaskingtoomanyquestions.

Shesippedherdrink,frowningalittle.Shehadanumberofquestionsshewoulddearlylovetoaskhim—abouthishome,andhisauntandSaskia—andhowweretheyreturningattheendoftheirstay?Theinformationhehadoffered

withhisinvitationhadbeenscantanditseemedhehadnowishtoenlargeuponit.EmboldenedbytheCampari,shewaiteduntiltherewaspauseintheconversationandasked:

‘Whyhaveyouaskedustostayatyourhome,Justin?’Shewasawareofthekeenlookhegaveher,buthisvoicewascasualand

friendly.‘Whynot?’hecountered.‘Itallfitssowell—IhappentobegoingovertoHolland,youhaveaweekorsotospare,myauntenjoysguestsandSaskiawillbedelightedtoimproveherEnglish.’

Hegaveherablandsmileandshegaveupandwhen,aminutelater,hesuggestedthattheymightliketogetsomesleep,shegotobedientlytoherfeet,wishedhimgoodnight,andfollowedKittydowntotheircabin.

ItwasbarelyhalfpastfourinthemorningwhenJustineasedtheRollsoverthecobbledstreetsofZeebruggetowardstheDutchborder.Emma,wideawakeafterseveralhours’sleepandrefreshedwiththeteaandtoastthestewardesshadbroughtthem,foundherselfsittingbesideJustinlookingoutontoapalegreymorningwhichthreatenedrain.

Justin,sheobservedfromaquicksidelongglance,lookedasthoughhehadslepttheclockround;healsowasasimpeccablyturnedoutashealwayswas.Shewonderedhowhedidit.‘Didyousleep?’sheaskedhim.

‘Soundly.Andyou?’‘Ohyes,thoughitwasashortnight.It’snicenow,though,isn’tit?’She

gazedoutatthesleepinghousesliningtheroad,soquietandthesunnotquiteupandalmostnotrafficandnopeople.‘There’ssuchalottosee,Kittyshouldbesittinghere.’

ThecarspedthroughBlankenbuggeandthenpastitssuburbsandvillas.‘No,’saidJustin,‘youshouldbehere,Emma.Whereyoubelong.’Shestaredaheadattheroadunwindingbeforethecar’sspeed.Whatexactly

didhemean?Shestolealookathimandhelookedatherbrieflyandsmiled.‘What—noanswertothat,Emma?’

Sheshookherhead.‘I’mnotsurewhatyoumeant.’‘No?I’llexplainlater.Here’stheturningtoSluis,’heglancedathiswatch.‘I

thinkwemayreachBreskensintimetohavecoffeebeforetheferryisdue.Theyhadalmosttwentyminutestospare,timeenoughtodrinktheircoffee

andeatlongsoftrollsstuffedwiththinlycutcheesewhileJustinpatientlyansweredKitty’sendlessquestionsabouttheirjourney,andonceontheferryhecontinuedtodoso,apologizingtoEmmabecauseshehadbeenthatwaybeforeanditmightbealittleboringforhertohearitallagain.ShesmiledandnoddedandlookedtheotherwaytohispointingfingerwhileheaddressedhimselftoKitty,butwhentheywentdowntothecaroncemoreandsheofferedtositinthe

backhesaidinstantly,‘No,Emma—stayinfront,forIcanseethatKittyisalreadyhalfasleepandIshouldhatetokeepherawakewhileIprosedonaboutchurchesandbridges.’

Theytookthebigdykeroad,avoidingZierikzeeastheycrossedtoBruinesseandsototheislandofOverflakkee.OnemoreseadykeandtheywereonthemotorwaytoRotterdamandpresentlyweavinginandoutofthecomplexityofmorningtrafficinthatcity,toturnawayfromitatlengthontotheGoudaroadandthen,finally,turnoffoncemoretoOudewater.

TheyenteredthelittletownfromitsoppositeendthistimeandJustindroveslowlysothatEmmacouldpointouttoKittywheresheandtheirmotherhadstayedandthelittlehallwheretheyhadbeenweighedtoprovethattheyweren’twitches.ThesmallplacewascheerfulandbustlingunderthestillgreyskyandKittydeclaredthatshewouldhavetovisitattheearliestpossibleopportunity.‘Andwhere’syourhouse,Justin?’shewantedtoknow.

‘Amileorsooutsidethetown,’hetoldher.Theywereoutsidethetownnow,drivingdownthecountryroadEmmarememberedsowell,withitstreesanditsvillasandthefarmssetwellbackinthefields,andatlastJustin’shouse,standingsolidlybehinditsornamentalirongates,opentoreceivethem.

‘Hasitaname?’askedEmmaasJustinguidedtheRollsuptheshortdrive.Hepulledupbeforethedoublestepsleadingtothefrontdoor.‘WelcometoHuizedenLinden,Emma,’saidJustinsoftly.

CHAPTEREIGHT

THEdoorwasopenedtothemastheyreacheditbyaplumpmiddle-agedwomanwithapleasantroundfacewhichbrokeintosmilesastheyentered.Anoldandvaluedmemberofthehousehold,Emmasupposed,watchingthewarmhandshakeJustingaveherandlisteningtotheunintelligibleexchangeofgreetings.

‘ThisisJaneke,’Justinexplained.‘ShehasbeenwithussinceIwasaverysmallboyandweshouldbelostwithouther.’HissmilewasaswarmashishandshakehadbeenandJaneketransferredhersmiletoEmmaandKittyandofferedalargecapablehand,thenwavedittowardsthehallinawelcominggesturejustasEmmacaughtsightofMevrouwTeylingencomingtowardsthemacrossthehallfromadoorontheleft.Hergreetingwasfriendlyandhersmile,ifnotasbroadasJaneke’s,wascertainlygracious;sheappearedtobereallygladtoseethemandaftergreetinghernephewwitheverysignofpleasure,shemadethemwelcomewithawarmthandcharmwhichEmmawassecretlyrelievedtosee.Afterall,theirhostesshardlyknewherandKittynotatall;eventhoughitwasJustin’shouse,MevrouwTeylingenmighthavebeenexcusedifshehadshownsomeslightcoolnesstowardsthem.Onthecontrary,sheledtheway,talkingquiteanimatedly,intoasitting-roomofsomesize,verycomfortablyfurnishedwithanicelyweddedcombinationofantiquesandmodernarmchairs,coveredinaprussianbluevelvetwhichexactlymatchedthelavishlydrapedcurtainsatthetwolongwindows.Thewallsoftheroomwerehungwithacorn-colouredstripedsilkandpartlycoveredwithavarietyofpaintingsandEmmawasalittlesurprisedtoseeanopenfireplacewithaplainmarblesurroundinplaceofsomethingmoremodern.Theceilingwashigh,asshehadcometoexpectintheolderDutchhouseswhichwouldmakeitcoldinwinterunless,asshesuspected,therewashiddencentralheating.

ShetooktheseatJustinofferedherandembarkedonapolite,somewhatstiltedconversationwiththeirhostesswhiletheydrankthecoffeeJanekehadbroughtthem,feelingalittleenviousofKittyandJustin,sittingtogetheronanenormoussofaandjudgingfromKitty’slaughter,amusingthemselvesagooddealmorethanshewas.ButpresentlyJustinbrokeofftheirtalktoaskhisaunt:

‘WhereareBessandCaesar?OutwithSaskia?’MevrouwTeylingensmiledwithfaintapology.‘DidInottellyou,Justin?

Saskia’saway—I’mafraidIforgot.ItoldWimtoshutthedogsinthestable,theyweresoexcited.’

Justingottohisfeet,frowningslightly.‘I’llfetchthem,’hesaidcurtly,andlefttheroomtoreturninaveryshorttimewiththetwodogsathisheels.

‘Gordonsetters!’exclaimedEmmaasshesawthem.‘Youdon’tseemanyofthosearound—andthey’rebeauties.’

Justinlookedpleased.‘Youknowthebreed?It’snotverypopularatpresent;agreatmanypeoplecan’tputanametothem.’

HesnappedafingeratthemandtheyadvanceddaintilytowhereEmmawassittingandstoodwhileshefondledthem,andthen,obedientlytohissignal,didthesameforKittybeforedroppingathisfeetashesatdownagainbesideher.

Theysatforperhapshalfanhour,talking,MevrouwTeylingenwithacharmwhich,ifEmmahadhadanyremainingdoubtsabouttheirwelcomeatHuizedenLinden,calmedthemcompletely.ShewascharmingtoJustintoosothatEmmabegantowonderifshehadfanciedhisannoyanceatthedogsbeingshutup.ShedismissedtheideaasfancifulonherpartandfollowedMevrouwTeylingenoutoftheroomandacrossthehallwithitstiledfloorandplasteredwallstothestairsatitsback.Itwasquiteasmallstaircase,huggingthewallbeforeitopenedoutontoalandingabove,butithadelaboratelycurvedbanisters;swagsoffruit,wreathsofflowersandbirdsriotedoneithersideoftheshallowuncarpetedsteps.Emmastoppedtopeeratthemontheirway,resolvingtoexaminethemmorecloselylater.Nowshehurriedtocatchupwiththeothers,alreadywaitingforheratthetopofthestaircase.

Theyhadabedroomeachwithabathroombetween.Theroomswerenotoverlarge,buttheywereloftyandagreatdealbiggerthantheirownroomsathomeandfurnishedhandsomelywithsomewhatheavyfurnitureoftheSecondEmpireperiod,beautifullycaredforandsetofftoperfectionbytheglazedchintzcurtains,thickcreambedspreadandcreamcarpeting.ShewentthroughthebathroomtofindthatKitty’sroomwasverysimilarandhersisterbusyunpacking,somethingshemadehastetodoherselfbeforetidyingherhairforlunchandchangingoutofthedressandcoatshehadtravelledinandputtingonacottondress,quiteplainbutforthedoublefrillofitsownpalegreenmaterialrunningfromnecktohem.ItwasaprettydressandonewhichJustinhadn’tseenbefore.Emma,viewingherselfinthemirrorbeforeshejoinedKittyinherroom,hopedthathewouldnoticeit.

Hedidn’t.Orifhedid,hefounditunworthyofcomment,insteadheinquiredofherifshefelttiredinsuchatonethatsheinstantlyfeltthatshemustlookafrightdespitethecarewithwhichshehaddoneherfaceandhair,butsheansweredhimnicely,ifalittlebriefly,andwhentheywentintolunchconfined

herrepliestoanyremarkshedirectedtohertomonosyllables,causinghimtolifthiseyebrowsinafaintmockerywhichvexedherexcessively.ButKittyfilledanysilencestheremighthavebeenwithalivelychatterwhichmorethancoveredherownsilence,andpresentlyshelefthersistertodomostofthetalkingandlookedaroundher.

Thedining-roomwasofafairsize,furnishedrathergrandlywiththeovalHepplewhitetablearoundwhichtheywereseatedandasidetableofmajesticproportionsagainstonewall.Therewasalacqueredcabinetbetweenthewindowsandonthefurtherreddamaskedwallwasahoodedfireplace.Therewerebrasssconcesatintervalsaroundthewallsandanumberofpaintingsshewasunabletoseeproperlywithoutcraningherneck,althoughaflowerpaintingoppositehercaughthereye.ShewasstudyingitcovertlywhenJuliansaid:

‘IseeyouhavenoticedourvanHuysum—it’sanoriginalandwe’reveryproudofit.Anancestorofminereceiveditinpaymentofadebt—quiteunawareofitsfuturevalue,ofcourse.Youlikepaintings?’

Itwasaquestion,buthewasn’tgoingtoallowhertimetoanswerit.‘InthatcaseI’lltakeyouroundafterlunch,wehaveoneortworather

interestingportraits.’Hesmiledatherinawhollyfriendlywaysothatshefeltherchildishill-humouroozingawayandfeltashamedofittoo.Shesmiledback,‘I’dlikethat,butwillyouhavethetime?’

‘Icanalwayssparetimeforyou,Emma.’Hisvoicewascasual,buttherewasagleaminhiseyeswhichmadehercolourfaintly.

Shefoundherself,tenminuteslater,walkingbesidehimacrossthehall,leavingKittyandhisaunttochatinthesitting-room,andshewonderedasshewentwhysheshouldhavetheabsurdideathatMevrouwTeylingenwasannoyed.Perhapsshehadwantedhalfanhourtoherselftorest—ortotalktoJustin.EmmapausedoutsidethedoubledoorsJustinwasjustabouttoopenandasked,‘DoyousupposethatKitty…?

‘No,Isupposenothingofthesort.’Helaughedashesaiditandwhensheaskedhimwhyhewassoamusedheraisedhisbrowsinthatselfsamemockeryagain.‘DoyouforgetthatoldEnglishsaying,“One’stoofew,three’stoomany”?’

Emma,awareofagallopingpulse,saidOh!ratherbreathlessly,staringfixedlybeforeher,andafteramomenthesaid,hishandonthedoorhandle,‘Thisisthefinestroominthehouse,soyoushallinspectitfirst.’

Hewasright;theroomwasindeedfine.Ittookupalmostallofonesideofthehouse,withwindowsoverlookingthetrimgardeninfront,andthreemore,floorlength,openingoutontoapatiogaywithflowersintubs.ThefloorwasalmostentirelycoveredwithasilkycarpetofPersiandesignandthecurtains

wereofarichmulberrybrocade,exactlymatchingthechaircoverings.Apairofwalltablesfacedeachotheracrossthebreadthofthecarpet,bearingwhatEmmaprivatelyconsideredtobesometrulyhideousvasesofgiltandenamel,andinonecornerwasachinadisplaycabinetofwalnut.Therewereanumberoftablestooandadaintylittlework-tablewithafadedgreensilkbag,Emmawentnearertoexamineitandthenstoodlookingaroundherwithinterest,andJustinsaidnothingatall,allowinghertolookherfill.Presentlyshelookedathimandsmiledandhesaid,‘Wedon’tusethisroomagreatdealnow—familygatherings,dinnerpartiesandsoon,butwhenIwasasmallboywespenteacheveninghere—thewholefamily.Therewerealmostalwaysguesttoo—auntsandunclesandcousinsandfriends.’

‘Yourmotherdidn’tmind—Imeanyoubeinginhere?’Emmawavedanexpressivearmatthelovelythingssurroundedthem.

‘No,wewereexpectedtotakecare,ofcourse;Ithinkweallloveditsomuchwewouldn’thavedreamedofdoingotherwise.’

Emmasaidsoftly,‘Youwerehappy.’‘Asasmallboy?Yes,very.’‘Aren’tyouhappynow?’Shedidn’tlookathimassheasked.‘Yes.’Shethoughthewasgoingtosaysomethingmore,butinsteadhe

caughtherbythearmandwalkedherovertothefireplace,abovewhichwasalargedarkpainting.Itwasafamilyportraitoftheearlynineteenthcentury,withtheheadofthefamilysittingbesidehiswife,whileanumberofchildrenweregroupedalittleselfconsciouslyaroundthem.Emmacountedthelittleboysintheirlongtrousersandshortjackets,andthelittlegirlsinstraighthigh-waisteddresses,theirhairinstiffringlets.‘Eight,’shesaidoutloud,andlookedwithrespectatthelittlepaintedladysittinginthemiddleoftheminhersilkengownandornatejewellery,herhandinherhusband’s.Unlessthepainter’sbrushhadlied,shelookednotonlyhappybutsupremelycontentaswell—aswellshemight,Emmadecided,forthemanathersidewasJustin—aJustinofearliertimesandindifferentclothes,butstillJustin.‘You’reexactlylikehim,’sheadded,halfunderherbreath.

‘Mygreat-great-grandparents,’explainedJustin,ignoringherremark.‘Adevotedcouple,butthenhappymarriagesruninthefamily.’

‘Andagreatmanychildren,itseems.Eight!—Shemusthavefoundthemahandful.’

‘Withnursemaidsandservants?Ofcoursenot.’‘Buttherearen’tnursemaidsandservantsnowadays.’Helookedatherwithunconsciousarrogance.‘Perhapsweareluckynotto

havethatproblem.Asforanurse,myoldnannyhasadaughterwhowaits

patientlyformetomarrysothatshecanmovein…’Hegrinnedathersowickedlythatshecolouredfaintlyandmovedawayso

thatheshouldn’tseeherface,andwenttoexaminethevasesonthesidetables.‘Hideous,aretheynot?’heoffered.‘LateLouisSeize—Gouthère.Theclock

onthemantelpieceispartoftheset.Weareusedtothem,butpeopleseeingthemforthefirsttimearerathertakenaback.’

‘Ilikethecandelabra,’saidEmma,anxiousnottoembarkonthesubjectofthevases,aboutwhichsheknewnothing.

‘LouisQuinze—Areyoubored?’Emmaturnedinastonishment,andnotknowingthathehadcometostand

behindher,bumpedherheadintohiswaistcoat.And:‘Toogoodanopportunitytomiss,’hemurmured,andbenttokissher.Shewasstillmasteringherbreathingwhenhesaidinaperfectlyordinaryvoice,‘Comeandseethelittlesitting-room,it’smyfavourite,’andledheroutoftheopenfrenchwindowsontothepatioandinthroughanotherdooropeningintoaroomwhich,althoughnotsmall,couldbesodescribedifcomparedwiththeapartmentwhichtheyhadjustleft.Itwascomfortablyfurnished,withdogbasketsthrustagainsttwoofitscornersandathick,brightbrowncarpetcoveringitswoodenfloor.Thefurniturewasdarkandsolidandthechaircoversandcurtainswereofarichamberwhichglowedagainsttheplainwhitewalls.Therewasagreatbookcasetakingupthewholeofonewalltoo,filledtocapacity.Emmasighedblissfully;itwasexactlyherideaofhomelycomfortandwhenJustinasked,‘Youlikeit,don’tyou?’shenodded.

‘Ilikethewholehouse,howcouldInot?buthowIshouldlovetocomehometothisroomandsithereandsewwhile…’Shestoppedandwentaslow,painfulscarlet,buthedidn’tseemtohavenoticed,forhewaslookingoutofthewindow.Hesaidwithoutlookinground,‘Yes,Ifeelthattoo.Comeandlookatthegarden.’

ItwasveryDutch;formalandfullofcolour—therewasnoweedtobeseenandEmma,thinkingoftheuntidysmallgardenatthecottageobserved,‘Oh,dear!It’sperfect—whenIthinkofourowngarden…’

‘OneofthenicestIhaveeverbeenin,’declaredtheprofessorpositively,‘butyoucanseethatahouselikethisonecouldn’thaveanythingelsebutaformalgarden,andoldJanwholooksafteritformewouldbehurtifIsuggestedotherwise.He’sagreatonefortradition.’

‘Soareyou,’declaredEmmabeforeshecouldstopherself.Heeyedhercoolly.‘Yes.NowIamgoingtotakeyoubacktotheothers—I

havetogotoUtrecht.IbelieveyouheardmyauntexplainingwhySaskiawasnotheretowelcomeyou—sheisstayingthenightthereandIwanttoseeher.’

Theglowingroomlostitsglow,justastheglowinEmma’sheartwas

swallowedupbycoldcommonsense.Shehad,justforabrieftime,beenlivinginafoolishmake-believeworldofherown,justbecauseJustinhadwantedtoshowherhishome—hehadkissedhertoo,butthat,shetoldherselfbleakly,hadbeenonthespurofthemoment.Shesaidinavoiceshewasrelievedtohearsoundedcheerful,‘Oh,yes,ofcourse.IhopeIhaven’tmadeyoulate,youhavesolittletime.Yougoagaintomorrow,don’tyou?’

‘Yes—butIshallbebackwithinthenextfewweeks,whenIintendtostayinHolland.’

Shehadnothingtosaytothisandhistonehardlyinvitedcomment.Theywalkedbackthewaytheyhadcomeandcrossedthehalloncemoreandenteredthesitting-roomwherehisauntandKitty,deepinsomeinterestingconversationoftheirown,lookedupinsurprise.‘Backsosoon?’queriedMevrouwTeylingen.

Justinsaidbriefly,‘Saskia—hadyouforgotten?’andEmmasawthelittlesatisfiedsmileplayingaroundhisaunt’smouth.

‘Shehasbeensoimpatient—!’Shesmiledatallthreeofhercompanionsasiftoinvitethemtoshareherpleasureinherdaughter’simpatience,butJustin’sfacehadnoexpressionandKittyandEmma,knowingofnoreasontosmile,merelysustainedexpressionsofpoliteinterest.

Aftertheprofessorhadgone,MevrouwTeylingensuggestedthattheymightliketotakeashortstroll,tellingthematthesametimethatteawouldbeathalfpastthree.‘Justacup,youknow,’sheexplainedsmilingly.‘NotyourEnglishafternoontea,butyouhaveonlytoaskifyouwouldliketoastorcake—Janekeisverygood.’

Theyassuredherthatacupofteawasalltheycouldpossiblywant,andarmedwiththeirhostess’sgentleinstructionsastothebestwaytogo,setoff.

Theyreturnedanhourlater,tofindMevrouwTeylingeninthesitting-room,theteatraybesideherandobviouslyreadyfortheircompany.Therestoftheafternoonpassedpleasantlyenough,thoughEmma,whilebearingherpartinthetalk,waswhollyoccupiedinspeculationastowhetherJustinwouldbebackthatevening.ProbablyhewouldremaininUtrechtfordinner,evenforthenight;hehadn’tseenSaskiaforsometime,theywouldhavealottosaytoeachother.Shewentupstairspresentlytochangeherdress,for,asMevrouwTeylingenhaddelicatelyindicated,shewasinthehabitofchangingevenwhenshewasonherown.Therewasstillnosignoftheprofessor.Emmabathed,putonthefirstdressshelaidherhandsonandstarted,withoutmuchenthusiasm,todothingstoherhairandface.‘Sopointless,’shemutteredtoherself,‘justthethreeofus…’ShebrokeoffbecauseherquickearhadcaughtthewhisperoftheRolls’engineasitturnedinatthegate.Bythetimeshehadgottothewindow,allshesawofitwas

itselegantbackslidingbehindthescreenofshrubsandtreeswhichhidthegaragefromthehouse.Hardlyhaditdisappearedthanshewasatthewardrobe,searchingforthebrownandwhitedressJustinliked.

IfshehadhopedthathewouldmentionSaskiashewasdoomedtodisappointment.Hetalkedamusinglyofeverythingunderthesun;heevenremarkeduponthestateofthetrafficinUtrechtthatafternoonandthefactthathehadmetsomeoldfriends.Emma,eatingadeliciousdinnerwithlittleornoappetite,commentedbrightlyuponhisremarksashemadethem,herfacestiffwiththesmileshewasdeterminedtokeepthere.

Inthesitting-roomoncemore,drinkingcoffeefromtinyfragilecups,MevrouwTeylingenremarked,‘HowquietitiswithoutSaskia.Whatapitythereisnoonetogiveyouagameofbilliards,Justin.’

Emmaputdownhercupwithcare.Shehadresentedtheremarkaboutitbeingquiet;itimpliedthatsheandKittywerecompletenonentities.

‘Iplaybilliards,’shestaredclearly,‘andIshouldenjoyagame.’ShelookedatJustinasshespoke,watchinghisslow,speculativesmile.

‘Excellent—andunexpected.You’llnotmindifIgiveEmmaagame?’HespoketohisauntashegottohisfeetandKittylaughedandsaid:

‘Don’tlooksoamused,Justin,Emma’sgood,’andalthoughMevrouwTeylingensmiled,shediditreluctantly.

Hebeathersoundly,ofcourse,althoughhetoldherwithsomesurprisethathecountedheraworthyopponent.‘Whotaughtyou?’hewantedtoknow.Theywerestandingattheopenwindowofthebilliardroomatthebackofthehouse,lookingoutontothestretchoflawnanditssurroundingflowerbeds.

‘Myfather,whenIwasalittlegirl.Weallplayed,andwhenmybrotherwentawaytoschoolItookhisplaceduringtermtime,andthenhewenttomedicalschool,soIstillwentonwithit.IplayedinOudewater.’

‘Youdid?’Heflunganarmaroundhershoulders.‘Tellmeaboutit.’Shetoldandhelaughed;kind,friendlylaughter.‘Ihopeyouknowwhata

singularhonouritwasthattheyshouldhaveaskedyou.’‘Oh?Ididn’tknow.Ithoughttheywerejustbeingpoliteandfriendly

becausewewerestrangers.’Hedidn’tremovehisarm.‘It’saclearevening,’heobserved.‘We’llgointo

thegarden.’‘Theothers…’venturedEmma,tryingnottobeawareofthearm,andwas

notanswered,onlypropelledgentlyforwardontotheterraceanddownitsshallowstepsontothegrass.Itwasindeedpleasantoutside,withamutedeveningskyandthegarden’smanycoloursalreadypaling.Shesniffedthefragranceoftherosebedinthelawn’scentreandsaidimpulsively,‘Oh,Justin,

howcanyoubeartoleaveallthistomorrow—don’tyouwanttostay?’‘Morethananythingintheworld.’Hisvoicewasquiet.‘ButIshallcome

backasIsaid,andlivehappilyeverafter,Ihope.I’vewaitedsolong,Icanwaitalittlelonger.’

Theyhadreachedtheendofthelawnandwerewalkingalongapathbetweenshrubs,thetreesbehindmarkingtheboundaryofthegarden.Emmanotedtheirvariety,forcinghermindtothinkofmundanethings.ItwasastonishinghowphysicalthepainofthinkingofJustinandSaskiatogetherinhishouse,perhapswalkingthisverypathtogether,couldbe;certainlyitwassomethingshedidn’twanttotalkabout.Afteramomentsheasked,‘Dorosesgrowwellhere?’andwasawareofhishiddenamusementasheembarkedonaplacidlymeanderingconversationaboutthoseflowers.Itseemedheknewagreatdealaboutthem,andEmma,whoseknowledgeofthemwassketchy,wasreducedtomurmursofagreementatsuitableintervals.TheyregainedtheterracepresentlyandrejoinedtheothersandfortherestoftheeveningtheonlyconversationshehadwithJustinwasofthemostcasualsort.

ItwasbeautifulweatherthenextmorningandafterbreakfastJustinofferedtotakethemforadriveroundtheimmediatecountryside.‘Otherwise,’heexplained,‘Kittywon’tseeagreatdeal.WecouldgotoSchoonhovenandhavecoffeethere.’

Whichtheydid;Kittysittinginfront,askingquestionsateachturnoftheroadandmakingJustinlaughagreatdeal.TheystoppedforcoffeeattheBevedereandthenwentthelongwayhome,pastthecastleofIjsselsteinandsobackintimeforlunch.Afterwardstheywentintothegardenwheregardenchairs—super-comfortableones;thekindEmmahadadmiredintheglossymagazines—weregroupedaroundawroughtiron,white-paintedtable,andafteralittlewhileJustinleftthemtofetchSaskiafromUtrecht.Hedidn’toffertotakeanyonewithhim,andwhenhehadgoneMevrouwTeylingenmurmuredthatshewouldhavealittlerestinherroomandwouldtheybehappybythemselvesforalittlewhile?

Theysatinthesunshine,writingletters,notsayingmuchuntilJanekebroughtouttheteatrayandtheirhostessjoinedthemoncemore.ItwasanhourorsolaterwhenEmma’sever-listeningearsheardthecarreturnandtenminutesmorebeforeJustinandSaskiacamedownthegardentowardsthem.Saskia,Emmasawinonelightningglance,wasevenprettierthanshehadremembered.

Shegreetedthembothwithcharmingfriendlinessandthen,withoutanyeffortatall,madeherselfthefocalpointoftheconversation.Emma,watchingJustin’sfrequentslowsmile,thoughtthathemustsurelybecomparingSaskia’sgaietywithherownratherordinaryperson;itwassomethingofareliefwhen

visitorscameand,naturallyenough,stoppedforadrink.Emma,annexedbyanelderlymanwithamasterlycommandoftheEnglishlanguageandanoverwhelminginterestinastronomy,allowedherattentiontowanderfromtimetotimetopeepatJustin,playingthehosttoperfection.Helookedplacidandcheerfulandshesupposeditwasherimaginationwhichcausedhertofindhimthoughtfulbehindhissmile.Presentlyhewentovertohisauntandafterafewwordswithher,startedmovingamonghisguests,pausingforafewmomentstomakesomesmilingremarktoeachofthem,andEmmarealizedwithasinkingheartthathewaswishingthemgoodbye.HestayedsometimewithKittyandthenkissedherandleftherlaughing,tostrollacrossthegrasstowhereEmmawasstillcopingratherwildlywiththestars.Hespoketohercompanionandthenturnedtoher.

‘I’mleavingnow,Emma.Enjoyyourholiday,andIthinkyouwillforSaskiawillbeheretokeepyouandKittycompany.I’mnotquitesurewhenIshallbeback.’

Emmaglancedbrieflyathimandawayagain.‘No,’sheansweredtooquickly,‘I’msureyoudon’t.I’ll—I’llsaygoodbye,forIdaresayweshallbebackatworkandmaybeyouwillhaveleftWilliamandMary’s.Thankyouverymuchforinvitingus.Itwasgoodofyou…wedoappreciate…’

Shecametoahalt,awarethatthelastthingshewantedtodowastosaygoodbyetohim,hereinfrontofalotofstrangers.Butperhapsitwasagoodthing.Shesaidabruptly,‘Goodbye,Justin,’andputoutherhand,andwhenshelookedupintohisfaceitwastofindhisgreeneyesveryintentonhers,andalthoughhewassmiling,theywerethoughtful.

Hetookherhandandbenthisheadandkissedherlightlyonhercheek.Hisvoicewassoquietthatonlyshecouldhear.‘DearEmma,surelyyouknowbynowthatIneversaygoodbye?’

Sheknewnosuchthing,buttherewasnotimetosayso,forhespokebrieflytohercompanioninhisownlanguageandstrolledaway.Aminutelatershesawhimwalkingunhurriedlyacrossthelawntowardsthehouse.Hedidn’tlookback,buthehadbarelydisappearedwhenSaskiafollowedhimandEmma,withaheartladenwithmisery,turnedherattentiononcemoretohercompanion’sdiscourseonstellarmotions,asterism,chromesphereandsolarflares;sheknewnothingwhateveraboutanyofthem,butatleasttheykepthermindfromdwellingonotherthings.

Thedayspassedpleasantlyenough;theywalked,droveandsataboutinthegarden,andSaskiawasneverwithoutvisitors.Theycameinaconstantstreamandusuallystayedforlunchordinner,andSaskiatookcarethatEmmaandKittymetthemall,forshewasaperfecthostesseventhoughEmmahadthefeeling

thatshehadnodesiretobecomemorethanapassingacquaintancetoeitherofthem.Butshehadlittleornointerestintheiropinionsorlives,merelybeggingthemwithcasualfriendlinesstojoinanyoutingshehadplannedandmakingsurethattheyhadeverythingtheyrequiredfortheircomfort.Hermotherwas,however,rathermorecuriousaboutthemandaskedagreatmanyquestionswhichbothKittyandEmmadidtheirbesttoanswer.Kittyratherresentedthem,butEmmawasquicktoexcusetheirhostess’scuriosity.‘Idaresayshe’slonely,’shesaid.‘Saskiamustbeawayfromhomequitealot,andafterall,she’sverykind.’

‘Sosheshouldbe,’saidKittysharply.‘Afterall,sheliveshereatJustin’sexpense.’

Andwouldcontinuetodoso,thoughtEmmasilently,ifhemarriedSaskia.Oftheprofessortherewasnoword.NeitherMevrouwTeylingennorSaskia

mentionedhim,andEmma,wholongedtoask,foundherselftooshytodoso.Thefainthopethathemightwrite,ifnottoher,perhapstoKitty,diedslowlywiththepassingdaysandshebegantowishthatshehadnevercome,foreverythingaboutthehouseremindedherofJustinandcommonsensetoldherthatthequickersheputhimoutofhermindthebetter.Shedidherbest;visitingthemuseumsrecommendedbyMevrouwTeylingenwhentheywenttoUtrecht,walkingroundtheopen-airmuseumatArnhem,inspectingthecastleatDoornwheretheGermanKaiserhadlived.TheydroveinSaskia’sscarletMinithroughtheHogeVeluwe,oneoftheNationalParks,tovisittheKroller-MullerMuseum,althoughtheydidn’tstaylongbecauseSaskiawasboredlongbeforetheywerehalfwaythroughthepaintings,letalonethesculptureandtheporcelainandhurriedthemawaytoEdetovisitmorefriendswithwhomtheyspenttherestoftheday.OntheirwayhomethateveningshedisclosedthatshewashavingapartythenextdayandplanswereafootforanexpeditiontoNoord-wijk-aan-zeeandwhatdidtheythinkofatriptoAmsterdamtosamplethenightlife?

KittyrespondedenthusiasticallytothesesuggestionsandEmma,whohatedtohurtpeople’sfeelingsanywayanddidn’tcarewhatshedidnowthatJustinhadgone,agreedwithmorepolitenessthantruththatshewouldfinditgreatfun.Butitwasn’t—somehowtheyoungmenshemetseemedtooyoungandthetalkalittlevapid,aviewpointforwhichshewasquitepreparedtoblameherself;perhapsshewasgettingtooold…ShementionedittoKittythedayfollowingtheoutingtoAmsterdam.

‘Wegobackinacoupleofdays,’shebegancarefully.‘Willyoumissallthis,Kitty?’Shewalkedovertothewindowandlookedoutontothebrightgarden.‘Wehaven’tbeenasgayasthisforyears.’

Kittygotupoffherbedandcametopeeroverhersister’sshoulder.

‘It’sbeengreat.I’velovedit—allthattearingroundwithSaskiaandtherestaurantsandthepeoplewe’vemet,’shewentonshrewdly,‘butyou’venotlikeditverymuch,haveyou,darling?You’reahomebird,aren’tyou?Fancybeingabletospendtherestofyourlifelookingatthatgardenandlivinginthislovelyoldhouse.HowI’dloveit—justwithJustin,ofcourse.MevrouwTeylingenandSaskiawouldhavetogosomewhereelse.’

Emmastaredfixedlyattheview.‘Oh,wouldyouliketoliveherewithJustin?IthoughtitwasWill…he’swrittentoyoualmosteveryday.’

‘Silly,’saidKitty,‘ofcourseit’sWill—that’swhyIwassokeentocomehere.Absencemakestheheartgrowfonderandallthat.’Shelookedathersister.‘FunnyhenevermentionsJustin—notonce.’Sheaddedobscurely,‘Idespairofyou,Emmadarling—you’resoefficientintheatre,too.’Whichremarkshedidn’tattempttoelucidate,andevenifEmmahadaskedhertodosotherewasnochancebecausetherewasaknockonthedoorandSaskiacameintotellthemthatsomefriendshadcalledandwouldtheyliketocomedownandmeetthem?

ThefriendswentjustbeforedinnerandEmma,changingintothepinkshirtwaister,heavedasighofreliefthatSaskiahaddecidedagainstaproposedplantogotoUtrechtandjointhosesamefriendsattheJaarbeursrestaurantfortheevening.Theyhadbeenoutalmosteverynightduringthelastweek;itwouldbepleasanttohaveaquietoneathome,althoughshewasawarethatSaskiadidn’tlikeherovermuch,butperhapsshewouldbeabletogoalongtothebilliardroomandknockafewbilliardballsabout.Asitturnedout,afterhalfanhourorsointhesitting-roomafterdinnerwheretheotherthreeladieshadbecomeengrossedindiscussingSaskia’swinterwardrobe,shewasabletowanderoffunnoticed.Sheswitchedonthepowerfullightoverthetableinthebilliardroom,gotherselfacueandbeganmakingaimlessshots,hermindbusywiththeall-pervadingthoughtthatintwodays’timetheywouldbegone.Therehadbeennomessagefromtheprofessor;possiblyhehadtelephonedorwrittentoSaskia—hemusthavedoneoneortheother—butnaturallySaskiawouldn’tthinkitnecessarytotellthemaboutit.Hewouldarrivebackhomeaftertheyhadleft—oratbest,meetagainforafleetingmomentatWilliamandMary’s.Emmahittheballblindlybecauseshehadclosedhereyesinasternendeavourtoholdbacktears,sothatwhenJustinsaidfromthedoorwaybehindher:‘Hullo,Emma,’shedroppedhercue,openedhereyesandsawthatshehadmadeaquitebeautifulshot.Shepickedupthecueandturnedroundtofacehim,gladthattherestoftheroomoutsidethecircleoflightoverthetablewasdim,butbeforeshecouldsayanythinghehadstrolledovertothetable,saying,‘Thatwasamagnificentshot—IcanseeIshallhavetolooktomygameoryou’llbebeatingme.’

‘I’mgoinghomethedayaftertomorrow,’saidEmma,andfrownedatthestupidityoftheremark.Hestoodinfrontofher,smiling.‘Yes—Ihadn’tforgotten—didyouthinkIhad?That’swhyI’mhere.’

Hereyessearchedhisfaceandherheartdidadoubleknockagainstherribs,onlytoslideintohershoesashewenton,‘I’vebroughtWillwithme—hecouldn’twaittoseeKittyagain.Ionlyhopeshefeelsthesamewayabouthim.’

Sothatwaswhyhehadcomeback.‘Shedoes,’saidEmmafaintly.‘Isupposeshe’llgobackwithhim.’

‘Naturally.’Hehadcaughthertwohandsinhisandwasidlyswingingthemtoandfro.‘Hedrovehisowncar.’

Sheallowedherselfthepleasureofthefeelofhishandsonhers.‘Oh,didyoutravelwithhim?’‘Godforbid!Idrovemyself.’Thathadbeenanothersillyremarkonherpart;ofcoursehewouldneedhis

owncarnowhewasbackinHollandforgood.Shestoodquietly,veryconsciousofhim,wishingshehadputonaprettierdress,awareofhisownimpeccableeleganceandunshakablecalm,awaretoothatshelovedhimmorethanever.Sheessayed,‘Ofcourseyou’llneedithere,won’tyou?’andheardthelaughinhisvoiceasheechoed,‘Ofcourse,Ican’tverywellgotoworkwithoutacar,canI?’

Shelongedtoaskwhyhehadn’twrittenbutsaidinstead,‘Youaren’tgoingbacktoWilliamandMary’s?’

‘Probablynot.HaveyouforgottenthatIintendtosettledown—didInottellyouthatIshouldmarry?’Hewasstillholdingherhandsandlookingdownatherwithasmiletomeltherverybones.‘Emma,can’tyouguesswhomIshallmarry?’

Shestaredupintothegreeneyesandthegleaminthemmadehersuddenlyreckless.ShewasabouttoanswerhimwhenthedoorwasflungopenandSaskiadancedin.Sheranacrosstheroom,flungherarmsaroundhisneckandkissedhim,crying,‘Justin,howlovely!I’vebeenlongingforyoutocome,’andsomehowhewasn’tholdingEmma’shandsanymore,forSaskia’sarmswerearoundhisneckandshewaslaughingandtalkingatthesametime,andpresentlyhewaslaughingwithherasthoughithadn’treallymatteredthatheandEmmahadbeeninterrupted.

Emmastoodalittleapart,notlookingatthemandfeelingcoldinsideandrathersickbecauseshehadsonearlygivenherselfaway.Herreliefatnothavingdonesowassogreatthatforthetimebeingatleast,itovershadowedeveryotherfeeling,sothatpresentlyshewasabletowalkarm-in-armwithJustin,laughingandtalkingtothembothasthoughseeingthemreunitedwastheonethingshe

hadwishedformost.Onceinthesitting-roomitwaseasier,forWillwasthere.Sheflungherselfathim,verymuchtohissurprise,exclaiminghowdelightedshewastoseehimagainandbeggingtohearallthenewsofthehospital.

Hesaidalittleawkwardly,‘Hullo,Emma.Goodlord,youdosoundkeen—anyonewouldthinkyouwantedtogetbacktowork.Imustsayyoulookasfitasaflea,oldlady—you’vebeenhavingasmashingtime,soI’mtold.’

Emmacaughtatthisconversationalstrawandembarkedonadetailedaccountoftheirholiday,veryconsciousofJustinandSaskiadeepinconversationbyawindowandconscioustoothatWillwaslongingtogetbacktoKitty.ItwasMevrouwTeylingenwhoseparatedthematlast,gentlyurgingWilltotakehisbaguptohisroomandthencomedownforadrinkbeforebedtime.‘Youmustbetired,’sheurged,‘andI’msureyouwillwanttomakethemostofKitty’slastday—Idaresayyouhavealreadymadeplanstogoout.’

Itseemedhehad,Kittyhadalreadysaidthatshewouldshowhimthesurroundingcountrysideheexplainedtohishostessandthen,ratherredintheface,saidhastilytoEmma,‘Youmustcometoo,Emma.’

Sheimprovisedhastily,‘Thanks,Willy,butIcan’tpossibly.ImustgointoOudewater—I’veanappointmentatthehairdresserandthereareoneortwothingsIwanttoget,andit’smylastchance.’

Shesmiledathimquitenaturally,confidentthathewouldn’tstoptowonderwhythepossessoroflongbrownhair,doneinaneatbunontopofherheadwithouttheaidofwavesorcurls,shouldsuddenlywishtovisitthehairdresser’s.Hisreliefwassopatentthatshealmostlaughedoutloud.

Shewasreadyforbed,sittingaimlesslybeforehermirrorstaringatherreflectionwhenKittycamein.Kittyglowed;shesaidatonce:

‘Isn’titmarvellousthathecame?Heneversaidawordinhisletters…he’sgoingagainthedayaftertomorrow.Youdon’tmindifIgowithhim,darling?’Sheaddedbelatedly,‘Youcancometoo,ifyoulike.’

Emmaturnedroundonherstoolandstudiedhersister.‘No,darling,I’llgobackaswearranged,onlyyou’llhavetoseeaboutyourticket.Ishallbebackabitafteryou—Willsaidsomethingabouttakingthedayboat,butthatwon’tmatteratall.Areyougoingtomarryhim?’

Kittysmileddreamily.‘Howeverdidyouguess?’sheasked.‘OfcourseIam,justassoonaswecangeteverythingplanned.’Shelookedapologetic.‘Iknowwehaven’tknowneachotherlongandyou’vebeenfriendswithhimforages,butsomehowwejustknew,andyoudon’tneedtoknoweachother,doyou?’

Emmadidn’tanswerthispurelyrhetoricalquestion.‘I’msoglad,darling.Will’sadearandjustrightforyouandyou’reexactlywhatheneeds.Motherwillbesopleased.’

‘Yes.Emma,IthoughtthatyouandJustin—Imean,itseemedasif…’Emmaexaminedanon-existentspotonherchininthemirror.‘Oh,we’re

greatfriends,’shesaidairily,‘butyouknowhowitis,peoplecomeandgo.’Sheyawnedandgottoherfeet.‘I’mtired,Kitty,timeforbed…allthisexcitement.Won’titbefun,planningtheweddingandwhereyou’lllive?Willyoufinishyourtraining?’

Kittynodded.‘Yes,that’sonethingwe’resureabout,thoughit’sallabitvague.’Shestrolledtothedoor.‘Goodnight,darling.’Atthedoorshepaused,‘DoyousupposeJustin’sgoingtomarrySaskia?’

‘Ishouldthinkitverylikely.’Emma’svoicewasn’tquitesteadybecauseshehadbeentakenunawares.Shejumpedintobedandpulledthebedclothesupveryhighsothathervoice,whenshesaidgoodnight,wasmuffled.

Emmawakenedatsixo’clockafteranightofsleepingandwakingandthinkingwhichhadgothernowhereatall.Shelayandwatchedthemorningskybrightenandthengotup,becausetoliethereinbedanylongerwouldhavebeenquiteintolerable.Shedressedquicklyandslippedonquietfeetdownthestaircase,acrossthehallandoutofthesmallsitting-room’swindowontotheterrace.Thegardenlookedlovelyunderthegentlewarmthofthesun.Shepausedforaminutetolookaroundherandthenhurriedacrossthegrasstoitsfurthestendwheretherewasadoorinthewallleadingontoanarrowcountrylane.Thelanewoundthroughflatmeadows,occasionallywithasmallcanalforcompany,ontheothersideofwhichthecowsclustered.Itwasallverypeacefulandsecureandalthoughitwasn’tasbeautifulastheDorsetcountryside,Emmahadcometolikeitverymuch.Shewalkedfast,tryingtooutstripmiseryandfailingsosingularlythatshebegantocry,notcaringintheleastbecausetherewasnoonetosee;everynowandthenshewipedawaythetearswiththebackofherhand,butfreshonesfellandafterawhileshedidn’tbotheranymore.

Sheslowedherwalktoanamblepresently,notlookingatallwhereshewasgoingandstumblingagooddeal,snifflingmiserably.Sheheardthefirstwhistleonlyvaguelyandthesecondonemadenoimpressioneither.ItwasonlywhenBessandCaesarcameboundinguptoleapjoyfullyatherthatshecametoahaltandbecausetherewasnoalternative,turnedround.Justinwasonlyafewyardsawayandsheturnedroundagainquicklybecauseherfacelookedsoawful,andbegantowalkonatagreatrate,buthecaughtupwithherandturnedherroundtofacehimagain.Hisvoicewasverykind.‘Emma,dearEmma,crying—why?’

Shesniffedandmumbledgrumpilywithoutlookingathim,andthenbecauseshehadtomakethebestofabadjob,‘Isupposeit’sbecausetheholiday’sover.’

‘Butyesterdayyouwereallagogtohearallthehospitalnews.Ithoughtyouweresoanxioustogetbacktowork.’

Shecasthimasmoulderinglookandsniffed.‘Well,ofcourseIam,’shedeclared,andthenburstintotearsagain.

Hisarmswereverycomforting.Heheldhercloseuntilhersobsquietenedandthenheliftedherchinwithagentlecompellinghandandkissedher;shekissedhimback,powerlessitseemedtodootherwise,andthenstoodsilentwithinthecircleofhisarms,lookingathim.Hesmiledatheranditseemedstrange,becauseshewasfilledwithsuchawildexcitement,thathisfacewassocalm,onlyhiseyesgleamedbeneaththeirlidsandasmallmuscletwitchedatthecornerofhismouth.Whenhespokehisvoicewasascalmashisface.

‘Emma,IhavetogotoUtrechtthismorning—inafewminutes.Ishan’tbebackuntilthedayaftertomorrow;Idon’tknowwhen.Willyouwaitforme?Nevermindyourplans,wecanalterthosequicklyenough,onlybehere,atmyhomewhenIgetback.Imusttalktoyou.’

Emmasmiledsoggily.‘Verywell,Justin,’shesaidmeekly,‘onlywon’tKittyandWillmind?’

Hiseyebrowsarched.‘Whyshouldtheymind?Youweren’tgoingwiththem—besides,Iimaginetheyhaveotherthingstothinkabout.’

Helaughedsuddenlyandreleasedher,catchingherbythearmandswingingheralongbesidehimastheywalkedbrisklybackalongthelittlelane,thetwodogsracingahead.Atthedoorofthehousehepausedatthebottomofthedoublestepsandlightlykissedherhair.‘TillIseeyouagain,Emma,’hesaid,andwalkedawayinthedirectionofthestables,leavinghertodriftupthestepsandindoors,herheadinenchantedclouds.

Shewasalittlelateforbreakfastbecauseittookherafewminutestoerasethehavocofhertear-stainedface.SheslippedintoherplacebesideKittyandwishedeveryonegoodmorninginahappyvoiceandgotonwithhermeal,hopingthatsomeonewouldsaysomethingaboutJustinsothatshecouldtellthemthatshewouldn’tbegoinguntilhereturned,butnoonedid,atleastnotuntilthemealwasalmostoverandtheyweredispersingfromthetable.ItwasthenthatSaskiasaid:

‘I’llsaygoodbye.I’mofftoUtrechtinhalfanhourorsoandIshallbethereacoupleofdays,Iexpect—itdependson…’shelaughed,‘well,itdepends.Haveagoodjourney,won’tyou?’AsshelefttheroomEmmaheardhervoice,veryclearintheloftyhall,callingtohermother.‘HaveyouanymessageforJustin?’sheasked.

Emmafoundthedaylong;shewenttoOudewaterbecauseshehadtoldWillshewasgoing,butoncethere,shemerelyroamedthestreetsofthelittletown,doingnothing,tryingtopuzzleoutwhyJustinhadn’ttoldherthathewasgoingtomeetSaskiainUtrecht.Intheendsheforcedherselftostopthinkingaboutit,

hewouldbebackthefollowingdaywithsomesimpleexplanationshehadn’tthoughtof.Shelovedhimandtrustedhimandhehadaskedhertostaybecausehewantedtoseeher,surelythatfactaloneshouldbesufficient.

Shehadlunchafterthat,inDeWitteEngel,andcarriedonsomesortofconversationwiththelandlordwhorememberedherverywell,andafterwards,becausetherewasstilltheafternoontogetthrough,shewalkedslowlybacktoHuizedenLindenandspenttheemptyhourssittinginthegardenuntiltheothersreturned.Itwaseasierwhentheywerethereandpresentlyshewentindoorstopackandchangeherdressfordinner,cheeringherselfwiththethoughtthattheeveningcouldn’tlastforeveranditwouldsoonbetomorrowandJustinwouldreturn.

CHAPTERNINE

WILLandKittyleftquiteearlythefollowingmorningandEmma,comingbackintothehouseafterhavingseenthemoff,foundMevrouwTeylingenwaitingforherinthehall.

‘Thereyouare,Emma,’shesaidkindly.‘Comeandkeepmecompanyoverbreakfast,youmustfeelalittlelonelywithoutyoursisterandMrLunn.’ShetuckedanarmunderEmma’sandledhertothedining-roomwherethemealwaslyingreadyonthetable.MevrouwTeylingenseatedherselfandbadeEmmadothesame.

‘Youwillbeleavingsoon,mydear?’sheinquiredgently.‘IrathergatheredfromwhatKittytoldmethatyouwillbegoingsometimetoday.’

Emmaacceptedacupofcoffeeandfoundherself,toherannoyance,colouringunderMevrouwTeylingen’sbrightgaze.‘Well,’shebegan,‘Justinhasaskedmetostayuntilhe…I’mnotsurewhenI’mgoing.’

Herhostessgavealittlelaugh.‘HowlikeJustin!Hecan’tbeartoseeyougo,Emma,andhowwellIunderstandhim.Yousee,hehashadmanygirl-friends,butyouaredifferentbecause,forgiveme—youarenotpretty,mydear,butyouareapleasantcompanionandcharmingandaboveall,youunderstandhisworksothathecantalkaboutittoyou.Youmusthavehelpedhimagreatdealduringtheselastfewmonths.Hehashadtowaitsolongforhisdreamtocometrueandhehasbeensopatient;tohavehadafriendsuchasyou,anolderwomanwhohasoutgrownayounggirl’ssillydreams,musthavehelpedhimsomuch,forithasbeenhardforhim—harderforhimthanforSaskia.’

‘ForSaskia?’repeatedEmma.Itwaslikebeingtoppledintoabaddream.Shewonderedwhatshewasgoingtohearnext,andshedidn’thavelongtowait.

‘Didhenottellyou?Perhapshefeltittobeunnecessary,foryouaresuchasensiblegirl.’

Emmadidn’tfeelintheleastsensible.Sheaskedinavoicewhich,shewassurprisedtohear,soundedquitenormal,‘JustinandSaskia?Arethey—dotheyloveeachother?’

Herhostesssmiledather.Sheatanyrate,thoughtpoorEmma,wasenjoyingtheconversation.‘Ofcourse,mydear.Isn’titcharming?’

‘ButJustinisseventeenyearsolderthanSaskia…’‘Whatareafewyears?Hehasknownandlovedhersinceshewasababy.

WhenshewasachildwelivedinTheHague,buteventhentheysawagreatdealofeachother,andwhenJustin’sfatherdiedtenyearsagoandhismothertwoyearslaterandIwasmyselfawidow,wecametomakeourhomewithhim—someonehadtorunthehouse,andIhavealwayslovedthisplacesomuch.Saskiawasfifteenthenandinalltheseyearstheyhaveremaineddevoted.’

‘Whyhaven’ttheymarried?’askedEmma,thequestionalmostchokingher.Butshehadtowaitforheranswer,forMevrouwTeylingendidn’treplyatoncebutofferedhermorecoffeeandEmmawasforcedtopasshercup.Onlywhenithadbeenreturnedtoherdidhercompanionanswer.

‘Thiswillseemextraordinarytoyou,perhaps,Emma,butwhenSaskia’sfatherwasdyingheaskedhertopromisenottomarrybeforeshewastwenty-four—soodd,don’tyouthink?butthereitis.Soshehaswaited,butnow,withinaveryshorttime,itwillbeherbirthday.’

MevrouwTeylingennoddedandbeamedatEmmaasiftoinvitehertojoininherpleasureattheprospect,butEmmadidn’tanswerbecauseshecouldn’ttrusthervoiceanymoreandbecauseshewasremembering.Hadn’tJustintoldher—andhowhappyhehadlookedwhenhehaddoneso—thathewasgoingtotakeawife?Hehadevenaskedhertoguesswhoitwasandshe,poorfool,hadthoughtitwasherselfandwouldhavesaidsoifSaskiahadn’tcomeinatthatmoment.Shethankedheavenforthatnow,swallowinghumiliationandwretchednessand,keepinghervoicecalmwithagreateffort,remarked,‘Well,IthinkImightbeinthewayifIstayon,don’tyou,MevrouwTeylingen?WhatdoyousuggestthatIdo?’

Herhostessansweredherwithouthesitation.‘Why,mydear,thereisnoreasonforyoutogo—nothingisaltered,isit?Saskiahasalwaysunderstood—unless,’shepausedandwentondelicately,‘amIrightinsupposingthatyouhavelostyourheartalittle,afterall?Ifthatisso,thensurelyforyourownsakeitwouldbebesttogo.’Shelookedatherwatch.‘Idaresaythereisaplane…Justinwon’tbebackuntiltomorrow,thoughIdon’tknowwhen.’

Emmasatbackinherchair.‘I’mnotrunningaway,MevrouwTeylingen,’shesaidsteadily.‘IfIleavetomorrow,thatwillbetimeenough.Iwon’tgobeforeIhaveseenJustinandwishedhimgoodbye—IsaidthatIwouldwaitforhimtoreturn,andafterall,wearegoodfriends.Besides,thatgivesmetimetocancelmyticketandarrangeforaflight.’

ShethoughtthatMevrouwTeylingenlookedannoyed,buttheexpressionwassofleetingonherhandsomefacethatEmmatoldherselfthatshehadbeenmistaken.‘WillSaskiabebackbeforeIgo?’sheasked.

‘No—sheisn’treturninguntiltomorrowevening.Whatapity,shewillbesorrytohavemissedyou,butIdaresayyoutwogirlswillwritetoeachother.’

Emmathoughtitunlikely;Saskiahadnevershownanypreferenceforhercompany,althoughtheyhadgotonwellenough,andforherpart,shecouldthinkofnoreasonforwritingtoJustin’sfuturewife.Shegottoherfeet.‘IthinkI’llgoforawalk,’shesaidquietly,‘it’ssuchalovelydayaftertherain.’

MevrouwTeylingenbeamedather.‘That’sright,Emma,buttakecarenottotireyourself.Justininvitedyouheresothatyoushouldhaveagoodrestbeforeyoustartedworkagain.He’ssuchagoodman,youknow,alwaysdoingakindnesstoanyonewhoneedsit.’

Emmathoughtaboutthatremarktoowhileshestrolledalongthelanesbehindthehouse.HadJustinjustbeendoingherakindness?Hadshebeenblindedbyherownfeelingsforhimsothatshehadimaginedthathewasbeginningtoloveher?ShetriedtorecallanyoccasionwhenheandSaskiahadbehavedliketwopeopleinloveandcouldthinkofnone—possibly,shetoldherselfwithherusualgoodsense,becauseJustinwasn’tthekindofmantoshowhisfeelingsinpublic.ShewonderedabouttheothergirlsMevrouwTeylingenhadtalkedabouttoo.Hadtheybeentrivialaffairs,towhileawaythetimeuntilhecouldclaimhisSaskia,andinanycasesurelyheandSaskiacouldhavebecomeengagedevenifSaskiawasboundbyherpromise.Emmafrownedandstoppedtothinkwithgreaterease.Saskiadidn’tstrikeherasthesortofgirlwhowouldbotheraboutkeepingapromiseifitinterferedwithherowninclinations.ShewalkedonagainslowlythinkingaboutherselfandJustin;ithadn’tbeenanaffair;ithadgonedeeperthanthat,withheratanyrateand,shehadthought,withhimtoo.Butshehadsoobviouslythoughtwrongly;MevrouwTeylingen’swordsmadesense.Shecametoacrossroadsandsatdownonthegrassverge,staringattheflatcountryaroundherandlongingsuddenlytobeawayfromitall,backintheatre,workingsohardthatshehadnotimetothink.Tearswhichshehadbeenholdinginchecksuddenlygotthebetterofher;theytrickledslowlydownhercheeksandatfirstshewipedthemangrilyaway,andthendidn’tbotheranymorebutletthemfallastheypleased.

Itwaswhenshegotbacktothehouseforlunch,calmbutstillpuffy-eyed,thatMevrouwTeylingentoldherthatJustinwouldarriveearlythefollowingmorning,andaddedkindlythatshehadtakenituponherselftobookaseatforEmmaonaplaneleavingaboutmidday.Emma,touchedbyherhostess’sthoughtfulness,andnotcaringhowshewentaslongasitwassoon,thankedhergratefully.

ShewasreadytoleavewhenJustinarrivedbackthenextday,althoughtherewasstillhalfanhourtowaitforthetaxi.Hecamestridingthroughthedoorandwhenhesawherstandingratheraimlesslyinthemiddleofthehall,camestraighttowardsher,smiling,onlytocheckhisstrideashisquickglancetookin

thesuitcasebesideher.Thesmileslidfromhisface,leavingitwithoutexpression,andwhenhespokehisvoicewasharsh.‘Emma,whatisthematter?Whereareyougoing?’Hestoppedbeforeher,staringunsmilinglyintoherface,hiseyebrowsraised.‘EscapingbeforeIcouldgethome?’Hisvoicewassilky.

‘No,’saidEmmaquickly,appalledathisperceptiveness,andtruthfulevenwhileshewasbrokenhearted.‘Iwouldn’tdothat,Justin.IstayedsothatIcouldsaygood-bye.’

‘Indeed?Soyouareleavingus—leavingme,Emma,mydearEmma.’Emmanodded.‘Yes,andIdon’thavetoexplain,doI?Imeanyoumust

knowwithoutmehavingtotellyou,andI’drathernottalkaboutit,ifyoudon’tmind.’Shegavehimarathershakysmile,proudofherself-controlwhenwhatshereallylongedtodowastoscreamathimatthetopofhervoicethatshelovedhimtodistractionandhadbeenfoolishenoughtoimaginethathewasbeginningtoloveherwhenallthetimehehadmerelybeenseekingsolace—safesolacewithanolderwoman—againsthislongingforSaskia.Shechokedonthethought,seeingherselfasakindofstopgapforhim,andbecauseshehadn’tbeendemandingoraskedquestions,hehadtakenitforgrantedthatshelookeduponthewholethingasanepisodetobeforgottenonceshewasbackinhospital.Shescowledathim,causinghiseyebrowstosoaroncemore.

‘MydearEmma,whathaveIdone?’Hemovedalittlenearer.‘Imustinsistuponbeingtold.’

Shemovedalittleawayandthenstoppedbecausethestairswerebehindherandthatwayshewascutofffromretreat.Shesidledsidewaysinsteadandhelaughed.Therewasthebeginningofangerinhislaugh,though,andhissnapped‘Well?’didnothingtoinviteherconfidence.

Shesaidquietly,‘Look,Iwasgoingbackverysoonanyway,wasn’tI?Itsurelydoesn’tmatterifIgoadayortwoearlier.Ididn’tthinkyouwouldmind—notnowSaskia’sbirthdayisinlessthanaweek.’

‘WhatthedevilhasSaskia’sbirthdaygottodowithit?’hedemanded,andthensmiledsuddenlyather,atender,mockingsmilewhichtoreherheartinribbons.Shedrewbreathwithdifficulty.‘Pleaseletmego,Justin,withoutafuss,’shesaidinacoldlittlevoicewhichquenchedthesmileandhadtheinstanteffectshehadwanted.

‘Ofcourse,deargirl—Iwouldbethelastpersontoholdyou.’Hisvoicewaslight,itwasalsoimpersonal;itwasasthoughhehadgonealongwayawayinamatterofseconds.‘Howareyougoing?’Hespokepleasantly,theperfect,well-manneredhost.

‘Byplane—thetaxi’scoming…’Hefrowned.‘Taxi?Whenthere’sacarinthegarage—youonlyhadtoask

Piet.’‘MevrouwTeylingenthoughtthatataxiwouldbebetter.’Hesaidnothingtothat,but,‘I’lldriveyoumyself,’hebeganwhentherewas

thesoundofsomeonecomingalongtheupperlandinganddownthestairsandheturnedtoseewhoitwas,sayingtoheroverhisshoulderinacarelessvoice,‘Don’targue,please.Whendoesyourplaneleave?’

Whenshetoldhimhesaid,‘Good—I’vetimeforsomecoffee.’Heturnedbackagaintothestairsandobservedpleasantly,‘Goodmorning,TanteWilhelmina.I’vejusttoldEmmathatIwilltakehertoSchipol,I’venothingtodoforafewhours.HowisitthatyouorderedataxiwhenPietcouldhavetakenthecar?’

MevrouwTeylingencamedownthestaircaseatherusualstatelypacealthoughshewasbreathingrapidly.‘Justindear,you’realittleearlierthanIhadexpected,buthownice.DidIdowrong?Itseemedagoodidea—I’msorry.DidIhearyousaythatyouwoulddriveEmmayourself?ThenmayIcometoo?IshouldenjoythedriveandIwanttoseethedearchildsafelyontoherplane.’ShesmiledatEmmaasshespokeandEmmareturnedthesmilewarmlybecauseshereallywasakindandthoughtfulhostessandshehadtriedsohardtohelp.

MevrouwTeylingensweptpastJustinnowandtuckedEmma’shandunderherarm.‘Shallweallhavecoffee?I’msureit’sreadyandIwanttohearaboutyourplans,Justin.’

Henoddedcarelesslyandsaidwithhisusualcourtesy,‘Justasyoulike,TanteWilhelmina.I’llcancelthattaxiandjoinyou.’

Theydranktheircoffeeinthelittlesitting-roomwhiletheycarriedonanuneasyconversation,largelysustainedbyMevrouwTeylingen,whodidn’tappeartonoticehernephew’sabsentmindedness,orthatEmmahardlyspokeatall.Presentlyshegotup,saying,‘Ifyou’dliketogoouttothecar,Justin,wewilljoinyouinaminuteorso.ThereissomethingIwishtogivetoEmmabeforesheleaves.’SheboreEmmaawayupstairstothebigbedroomEmmahadneverseen,andtoldhertositdownwhileherhostessputonherhatandcoat.Emma,undecidedastowhethershewasrelievednottobeleftalonewithJustinordisappointedatnothavingthechancetotalktohimagain,didasshewasaskedandwhenMevrouwTeylingenpresentedherwithalittlepackageandacharminglittlespeechinwhichshestressedhowmuchshewouldmissEmma,accepteditwithgratitudeandfollowedhercompaniondownstairsagainwithanairofcomposurewhichsuccessfullyconcealedherchaoticthoughts.

HerbagswerealreadyinthecarandsowasJustin,sittingbehindthewheel,lookingthoughtful.Hegotout,however,whenhesawthematthedoorandusheredhisauntintothebackseat,thenopenedthedoorforEmmatositbeside

him.AsshegotinMevrouwTeylingensaidalittleplaintively,‘Oh,dear—IhadhopedthatEmmawouldsitwithme,’aremarkwhichfelluponapparentlydeafears,forJustindidn’tanswerherbutgotintohisownseatanddroveawayinsilence—asilence,Emmarealized,hehadnointentionofbreaking.

‘It’sapleasantmorning,’shebegan.Hervoicesoundedalittlehigh-pitchedandwoodentoherears,butonthewholeitwasn’ttoobad.Shetriedagain.‘IshallgetasplendidviewofHollandfromtheair.’

Shehadnosuccesswiththisunoriginalremarkandtherewasanastylittlepausewhileshecudgelledhertiredbraintothinkofsometopicinwhichhewouldbeforcedtotakeaninterest.HowdreadfullyEnglishshewas,shethoughtwithouthumour,tofallbackontheweather.‘Itrainedinthenight,’shesaidfinally.

Whenhedidspeakhisvoicewaspleasantandcasual.‘Soyouwereawakeinthenighttoheartherain.’

Sheundidtheclaspofherhandbagandthendiditupagainandwhenshespoke,addressedherfidgetingfingers.‘Well—yes.’

‘Makingupyourmindtoleaveme?’Hisvoicewasstillcasual,butwhenshepeepedathimshesawthathislipswerecurvedinasmile—notaverynicesmile.

‘No—I’dalreadydonethat.’‘Oh,beforeyouwenttobed,perhaps?’Sherepliedwithoutthinking,‘Oh,yes—longbeforethen.’Hisvoiceheldmildinterest,nothingmore.‘Ah,andwhenwasthat,I

wonder?WhenIkissedyoubeforeIwentaway?’Shecriedoutinsuddenpain,‘No,oh,no,Justin!Youweren’tthere,itwas

afteryouhadgone,afterKittyandWillhadgone,when…’Perhapshervoicehadbeentooloud,forMevrouwTeylingeninterrupted

her,herownvoicealittlelouderthanusual.‘Emmadear,thereisthewindmillaboutwhichItoldyou—youremember?

Theonewhichissupposedtobehaunted.Suchapitywenevermanagedtovisitit.’Shewentonatsomelengthaboutthemill.ItwassurprisingwhatagreatdealofinformationshehadtoofferEmmaaboutit,andwhensheatlengthstopped,Justingavenosignofwishingtocontinuetheirownconversation,buttalkedinstead,intheimpersonaltonesofacasualacquaintance,ofthevariouslandmarkstheywerepassing,nordidheattempttodoanythingelsefortheremainderofthejourney.

WhentheyarrivedatSchipolhesawtoherluggage,boughtheranarmfulofmagazines,observedthattheflightshouldbeagoodoneandthenwentontotalkeasilyaboutanumberofsubjectswhich,toEmmaatleast,didn’tmatterin

theleast.She,agreeingpolitelythattheweather,onthewhole,wasbetterinEnglandthanitwasinHolland,andthatthenewenclosingdykesalongthecoastwerearemarkablefeatofengineering,longedtoshout‘Stop!’sothatshecouldhaveachancetosayallthethingsshewishedtosayandnowwouldneverhavethechancetotell.

HerflightwascalledandshesubmittedtoMevrouwTeylingen’skissandclaspofthehandwithakindofnumbresignationbeforesheturnedtoJustin.Sinceshehadtosaygood-bye,shewouldgetitoverquickly—asentimentitseemedheshared,forhegaveherthebriefestofhandclaspsandsaidnothingatall,andashehadallowedthelidstodroopoverhiseyes,itwasimpossibletotell,lookingupintohisimpassiveface,whathewasthinking.Shesaidbriefly,‘Goodbye,Justin,’andturnedawaytotheescalator.Atitstopshelookedback.MevrouwTeylingenwaved,butJustinwasn’tevenlooking.

Shehadobedientlyfastenedherseatbelt,suckedherbarleysugar,acceptedthedailynewspaperandunfastenedherseatbeltagain,allwithoutbeingawareofwhatshewasdoing.ItwasonlyasshecranedhernecktoseeHolland’scoastlineslideawaybeneathherthatsherememberedthatJustinhadn’tsaidgood-bye,whichwasstrangelycomfortingeventhoughshewouldneverseehimagain.

Herhospitalbedroom,afterherroomatHuizedenLinden,wasbareandpokyandunwelcoming.Sheunpacked,reportedtotheofficefordutyonthefollowingmorningandwentdowntotheteashedidn’twant.

IntheSisters’sitting-roomshewaswelcomedbackbyherfriendsandcolleagues,whoaccordingtotheirvariousnaturesaskedavarietyofquestionsaboutherholiday,rangingfromthesortofweathershehadhad,fromSisterCox,whowasn’tromantic,toaninquiryastohowmanytimesProfessorTeylingenhadtakenheroutandwhere,fromMadge,whowas.Sheansweredtheirquestionsinaserenevoicewhichsuccessfullyhidhertruefeelingsandthefactthatherthoughtswerefaraway;evenwhileshediscussedtheweatherwiththethoroughnessSisterCoxexpectedofher,shewaswondering,withasenseoflossalmosttoogreattobeborne,whatJustinwasdoing.

ProfessorTeylingenwasn’tdrinkingtea,norwasheansweringquestions;hewasaskingthem.Hehadjustreturnedtohishomeafteranexactingafternooninthetheatreandnow,inhisstudy,hewasfacinghisauntwho,biddentojoinhimthere,wassittingwithaverystraightbackinthechairbeforehim.UnlikeEmma,hehadagreatmanyquestionstoask,loungingbackagainsthisdeskwithhishandsinhispockets,hesaidquitepleasantly,yetwithahintofsteelinhisvoice.

‘Andnow,TanteWilhelmina,thatIhavethetimetoputmyownaffairsin

order,IshouldliketoknowexactlywhatitwasthatyousaidtoEmmawhileIwasaway.’

Hesmiledatherashespoke,buthiseyeswerehardandglittering.Herowndroppedbeforethemandafteramomentshebegantotellhim.

ThestricttheatreroutinewasstrangelycomfortingtoEmma,foritgavehernotimetothink,andbecauseSisterCoxwasonlyworkingforanhourortwoeachday,Emmatookmostofthelists,goingoffdutyeachdaytootiredtodomuchmorethaneatandsleep.LittleWilly,nowthathewastobeherbrother-in-law,lecturedherseverelyonoverworkingandlackofsociallifeandshelistenedtohimobediently,lookingmeek,andwentherownway.ShehaddrivenhomeintheFordonherfirstdaysoff,andhermother,intheinstinctivewaythatmothershave,hadaskedfewquestions,andthoseofonlysuperficialinterestconcerningherstaywithMevrouwTeylingen,andonceortwice,lulledbyhermother’ssilence,Emmahadbeentemptedtotellherallaboutit.Perhaps,shedecided,shewouldinalittlewhile,whenshecouldspeakofitwithoutfeelingtheurgentneedtoburstintotears.

Instead,theytalkedaboutKitty’sweddingandfuture.Shewastofinishhertrainingasadoctor,Willhadbeenadamantaboutthat;hewouldpayherfees,andhehadalreadyappliedforapostatherhospital,which,ifhewassuccessful,wouldentitlehimtoaflat,sothatheandKittycouldsetuphouseandlivethereuntilshehadqualified.Then,Willhadsaidfirmly,theywouldlookaroundforapracticeandgointopartnership,andEmmahadbeensecretlyamusedtoseehowmeeklyKittyhadagreedwithhim.Hemightbeashyman,buthehadawillofhisown—likesomeoneelsesheknew.Shesighed,andhermother,sittingatthetabletottinguptheeggmoney,heardherandwithoutappearingtodo,gaveherananxiouslook.ThatsomethinghadhappenedinHollandwasonlytooevident.Emma’sfacehadgotthineveninthefewdaysinwhichshehadbeenbackatworkandsheatealmostnothing.MrsHastingsshuthervariouslittlenotebooksalthoughshehadn’tfinishedhersumsandsaidbrightly:

‘Ilongforaglassofsherry—let’shaveone,shallwe?AndthenhowaboutrunningacrosstothevicarageandfetchingthatbookIpromisedtotaketoMrsCoffinnexttimeIgo?’

Emmafetchedthesherryandashermotherhadknownshewould,expressedherwillingnesstofetchthebooktooandtakeittoMrsCoffinwhileshewasaboutit;itwasapleasantevening,thewalkwoulddohergood.

MrsCoffinwasgladtoseeher.EmmasatdownwhenbiddentodosoandlistenedtoMrsCoffin’sexperiencesinhospitalandhowshehadreturnedhome

andhowverykindeveryoneinthevillagehadbeen.Havingexhaustedthisinterestingtopicshewantedtoknow,ratherarchly,howEmma’syoungmanwasgettingon,andwhenEmmasaidshewasmistaken,itwasKittywhohadtheyoungman,MrsCoffinhadsmiledandsaidthatthatwasallfiddlesticks.Ithadbeenobvioustoher,illthoughshehadbeenatthetime,thatthehandsomedoctorwhohadrescuedherfromthewellhadfanciedEmma.‘I’manoldwoman,’shewenton,‘andyoucan’ttellme,Emma—neveraworddidhesay,nordidhedomorethanglanceatyou,butcertainlyhefanciedyou.’

Notanymore,thoughtEmma,andplungedintofurtherinquiriesconcerningMrsCoffin’sstateofhealthwithoutansweringanymoreofherquestions.Thatgoodladysaidnomoreonthesubjectofyoungmen;shegaveEmmaaknowinglookfromherfadedblueeyes,mentallystoringupafewinquiriesofherownaboutdearEmma,nexttimehermothershouldcall.

TherewasaterrificlistwhenEmmawentbackondutyontheWednesday.Shefrownedoveritintheoffice,wonderingwhatMrSoameshadbeenattoallowsomanycases,butwhenshequeriedthemwithSisterCox,thatladyhadtossedherseverelycappedheadandremarkedacidlythatitwasabouttimetheydidsomeworknowthattheforeignerhadgoneandsheherselfwasondutyagain.Itwasapitythatanhourlater,justasshewaspreparingtoscrub,shedecidedthattheacheinhertoesjustifiedhergoingoffduty.ShewentbacktotheofficewhereEmmawasfrowningoverthereplacementslistandsaidbriskly:

‘You’llhavetomanage,SisterHastings.Staff’soffatfive,isn’tshe?Well,she’llhavetostayon—you’vegotanevening,haven’tyou?MrSoamesshouldbethroughbythen.’Shedidn’tmentiontheworkwhichwouldhavetobedoneafterthelastcasehadgonebacktotheward—nordidEmma.SheknewbetterthantoarguewithMadMinniewhenshewasinoneofhermeanmoods,butofonethingshewascertain,Staffshouldgooffatfouro’clock,notfive—thepoorgirlhadhoursoftimeduetoher.Shehadbeenworkinglikeaslaveanddeservedit.Emmagotupfromthedeskandtookoffhercuffs,preparatorytoscrubbing.Shesaid,‘Verywell,SisterCox,’inaquiet,non-committalvoice,whileshementallyjuggledwiththeday’soff-dutyforthenurses.Withlucktheywouldmanageanditwouldn’tbethefirsttime.

ShebrokethenewstoMrBoneasshewentthroughtheanaestheticroomandhegavethethumbs-upsignandmuttered,‘ThankGod,girl,I’mnotinamoodforMinnietoday,’andsmiledatherbroadly,andMrSoamesandLittleWilly,whilenotusingMrBone’sexactwords,obviouslysharedhisopinion,addingthattheyhopedshewouldbeabletomanage.

‘Yes,thanks,justabout,’saidEmma,andnowshecametothinkaboutitshewasquiteglad,forshewouldhavenoleisuretothinkalldayandshehadhalf

promisedtogotothehousemen’spartythatevening.Withanyluckshewouldbesotiredthatshewouldsleepallnight,somethingshehadn’tbeendoinglately.

Thedaywentwelldespitetherushofwork.EmmaandStaffgobbledsandwichesanddrankajugofcoffeebetweenthemwhilethenurseswenttotheirdinner,sittingintheofficewiththetraybetweenthemandtheirshoesoff.Theybothlookedhotandtiredandpaleandneitherofthemhadanymake-uponanymore.

‘Thatwasapieceofluck,’commentedStaff,‘thosetwocasesgoingsowell’Shebithugelyintoahamsandwich.‘Ithoughtthesecondonewasgoingtotakelonger,didn’tyou?’

Emmanodded.‘Yes,Idid,atleastwe’reuptotimesofar.Youscrubforthelobectomy,willyou?I’lldishfortheaorticaneurysmandtakeit,it’lltakesometime,andyou’retogoatfourwhetherit’sfinishedornot,butbeforeyoudo,dishforthestrictureofoesophagus,willyou?Cully’soffatfive,too,isn’tshe—andthetechniciansandMrs…’shebrightened.‘There’sStaffNicholsonateight.Ifwe’renotclearedupshe’llgiveahand,shealwaysdoes.’

Staffpuckeredherforeheadinafrown.‘Yes,butSister,whataboutyou?You’llnotgetoffatall.SupposeIstay?’

‘Noneed,’saidEmmadecisively.‘I’venotgotanythingplannedforthisevening,onlytheparty,andthatwon’tbrightenupuntilteno’clock.’

Staffnoddedinagreement.‘True,ifyou’renottootired.Youdon’tlook—thatis,Sister,youhaven’tlookedverywellsinceyou’vebeenoff,kindofpaleandunhappy.’

Emmapouredthelastofthecoffee.Collinswasanicegirl,shewasprobablyonlyrepeatingwhateveryoneelsewassaying.‘That’sanappendixforyou,’saidEmmaserenely.‘Takesthestuffingoutofabody,Icantellyou.’

Collinseyedherthoughtfully.‘Didyouhavealovelytimeattheprofessor’shouse?’sheaskedatlength.

Emmahadbeenthankfulthatuntilnowtheyhadbeentoobusytochataboutanything.Shehadimaginederroneously,shenowrealized,thatafteraweekorsoitwouldbeeasierforhertoanswerthatsortofquestionshouldshebeaskedit,butallthepainandmiseryshehadkeptdampeddowninsidehersinceshehadleftHollandcamesurgingbacksothatshehaddifficultyinspeaking.Withaneffortsherepliedlightly:

‘Oh,absolutelygorgeous—Imusttellyouallaboutitsometime,butwe’dbettergetcrackingnow,hadn’twe?’

Theafternoonwentaswellasthemorninghaddone—Emmasentthenursestoteaonebyone,snatchedacupherselfwiththesurgeonsbetweencases,chivviedStaffoffdutyandreturnedtothetheatre.Thereweretwomorecases,

theaneurysmandanemergency—alungabscess,andthatwouldmeanalobectomy.AsthepatientwaswheeledinMrSoameslookedattheclockandsaid,‘Thelastone,Ihope—iftheyspringanythingelseonmeIshallputmyfootdown.’

Everyoneknewthathedidn’tmeanthat;ifadozensuchcasesweretocomeinoneaftertheother,MrSoameswouldgrumbleluridlyateachofthemandperformbrilliantlyashealwaysdid,andLittleWillywouldstandoppositehimassisting,withoutawordofcomplaint.

Emmanoddedtothosefortunateenoughtobegoingoffdutyandwatchedthemslipquietlyaway.Theywerealreadylate,shewouldhavetomakeituptothemwhenshecould—whennextMadMinniewasoffduty.ShewasleftwithJessop,doingherbest,andthetwotechnicianswhohadofferedtoworkovertime.Emmagavethemeachanencouragingnodfrombehindhermaskandbenttohertrolleys.

Itwaswellaftersevenwhenthecasewaswheeledawayandthemenhadgone.Emma,notbotheringtotakeoffhermaskorgown,leftJessoptoclearupandwashdownandstartedontheinstruments.ThereweremorethanusualtodobecauseJessophadn’thadthechancetotakeawaythosewhichhadbeenfinishedwith.Emmacollectedthemintoabowlandwentovertothesinks.Eachonewouldhavetobescrubbed,rinsed,inspectedandbunchedonringsaccordingtoitskindandautoclaved.

Theeveningwaswarm,theclosewarmthofanapproachingstorm.Emmapushedhertheatrecapbackfromherforeheadandsettowork.ShewasalmostthroughasJessopputthefinishingtouchesonthenowspotlesstheatre.Emmalookedroundwithatrained,eagleeye.Thegirlwasshapingverywellandwasentirelytrustworthy,somethingeverynurse,andevenmoresointheatre,neededtobe.EmmamadeamentalnotetopersuadeMadMinnietogiveJessopaglowingreportattheendofthemonthandsaidcheerfully,‘Finished,Nurse?Offyougothen.You’reoveryourtime,I’mafraid,butI’llseethatyougetitback.You’vedoneverywell.’

Jessopbeamed.‘Oh,Sister,haveI?Thankyou.Idon’tmindwhenyou’rehere,youknow.ShallIaskthemtosaveyoursupper?’

‘Supper?’Emma’sthoughtshadbeenmilesaway,withJustin.‘No,thankyou,Jessop.I’llhaveacupofteaorsomething,I’mtootiredtoeat.’

ShelookedupasshespokeandsurprisedalookofexcitedamazementonJessop’sface.ShewasstaringatthedoorsothatEmma,naturallyenough,turnedtolooktoo.

Justinwasstandingthere.‘Apityyou’renothungry,Emma,’hesaidwiththecasualcalmofsomeonewhohadonlyjustleftthemandhadreturnedonan

afterthought.‘Ithoughtwemightdinetogether,unlessofcourseyoupreferthepartydownstairs.’

Hewalkedslowlyintothetheatre,pausedinfrontofJessopandsaidwithasmile,‘I’vejustbeentalkingtoPeterMoore—hewashopingyouhadfinished,he’swaitingtotakeyoutotheparty,Ibelieve.’AtwhichremarkJessopwentabrightpinkandsmiledwidely.‘IshouldrunifIwereyou,’hesuggestedmildly,‘thatisifSisterhasfinishedwithyou.’

HeliftedaninquiringeyebrowatEmmawhosaid,breathless,‘Yes,no—yes,ofcourse,NurseJessop.Ihopeyouhavealovelyevening.’

Jessopfledtothedoor.Beforeshewentthroughit,however,shepausedandlookedback.‘Andyou,Sister,Ihopeyouhavealovelyeveningtoo.’

‘Adiscerninggirl,’observedtheprofessor,strollingalittlefurther.‘Whathaveyoustilltodo?Thesharpsandneedles?Good,getonwiththem,deargirl.Iwanttotalktoyouandifyou’reoccupieditwillbeeasierforme.’

‘Why?’askedEmmainawhisper.HewenttoleanagainstoneofSisterCox’swhite-paintedglass-fronted

cabinets,wherethemoreout-of-the-wayinstrumentswerekept.‘Mydarling,think.Ifyouarecleaningknivesandsoforthitrather

discouragesmefromtakingyouinmyarms,whichiswhatIwanttodo,butbeforeIdothatwehavetounderstandoneanother,dowenot?IthinkIshalltalkbetterifthereisthewidthofthetheatrebetweenus.’

Hesmiledtenderlyatherandshedroppedastringofforcepsbackintothesinkwithalittleclang.‘Besureandwarnmewhenyouarefinished,’heurgedhergently.

Emmanodded,pickedupthelastoftheinstrumentsandwalkedacrosstotheshutterinthewallwhichopenedintothesterilizingroom,pusheditup,placedtheringsofinstrumentsinthebasketwaitingforthem,thencrossedthetheatre,outthroughitsdoorandintothesterilizingroomtoscrewdownthelidoftheautoclaveandturnonthesteam.Shewentthroughthisexercisewithoutknowingintheleastwhatshewasdoing—luckilyshehaddoneitsomanytimesthattherewasnofearofherdoingitwrong—andthenwalkedbackintothetheatreagain.Justinwasstillthere;foroneawfulmomentshehadthoughtthatitmightallbeadream,broughtonbytoomuchworkandnothingmuchtoeatformostoftheday,buthewasthereallright.Hewalkedtowardsherasshemadeherwaytotheoperatingtablewherethesharpsandneedlesweredrawnupinorderlyfashion,awaitingherattention.Shecametoahaltbythem,lookingathiminquiringly.Whenhewasnearenoughhestretchedoutahandandpulledhermaskdownunderherchinandthenwentbackagaintowherehehadbeenstanding,sayinginaquietvoice:

‘That’sbetter.Imustseeyourdearface,itseemsalongtime,thoughit’sbarelytendays.Imissedyou,Emma.Didyoumissme?’

‘Yes,’saidEmma,notlookingathim.Herhandsshookalittleasshepickedupthecurvedstitchscissors.Therewerealotofsharpsandagreatmanyneedles;shewonderedwhatJustinwoulddowhenshehadfinishedthem.

‘Ishouldhaveknown,’hebegan.‘Itwasn’tuntilIgothomefromtheafternoonlistatthehospitalthatmybrainbegantowork—younumbedit,mysweetdarling,goingofflikethat;Icouldn’tthinkandIdidn’tdareuntilI’dfinishedmywork,thenonthewayhomeIbegantoseeaglimmerofsenseinitall,foryousaid,ifyouremember,thatyouhadcometoadecisiontoleavewhileIwasawayandafterWillandKittyhadgone,soIknewthatitmusthavebeenwhenyouwerealonewithTanteWilhelmina.Ididn’tknowwhatshehadsaidtoyou,Icouldonlyguessthatitwassomethingshedidn’twantmetoknowabout,otherwisewhywasshesocarefultopreventusfromtalkingtoeachother?IhadalmostmadesenseofitbythetimeIreachedhome,andwhenIaskedher,shetoldme.’

HepausedandinthesilenceEmmasniffed,becausethehardlumpofunhappinessshehadbeencarryingaroundwithherfordayswasmeltingfastandshewasgoingtocryatanymoment.‘Didyoubelieveher,dearlove?’Hisvoicewasveryloving,andEmma,busywithhersharps,sniffedagainandsaidinadampvoice,‘Well,yes—yousee,itallmadesensetometooandIthoughtyourauntlikedme,andSaskia’ssopretty…’

‘AndIhavenevertoldyouthatIloveyou,haveI?’Emmawasarranginghervarietyofscissorsinthethickglasscontainer

whichhousedthem.‘No,’shesaidsoberlywhileherheartsang,‘youneverhave.’Shesnappedthelidofthecontaineronsecurelyandturnedherattentiontotheneedles.

Theprofessorcrossedonelegovertheotherandthrusthishandsintohispockets.Hecouldhavebeendiscussingtheweather,socalmwashisface,onlyhiseyesglintedgreenly.

‘Ihadsomeridiculousold-fashionednotionaboutnotrushingyou,mydarling.KindlyrememberthatIammiddle-agedandthereforealittleout-of-dateinsuchmatters.’

‘Howcouldyoube—allthosegirls!’declaredEmmaquiteviciously.‘Youraunttoldme,’shewenton,stabbingsomecuttingneedlesintotheirsquareoflintwithextraordinaryviolence.

‘Noneofitistrue,’saidJustin,watchingher—readingherthoughts.‘Itissimplewhenyouknow;TanteWilhelminawouldhavelikedtoliveinmyhousefortherestofherlife—allthatnonsenseaboutSaskiamarryingmewaspure

fictionsothatyouwouldgoaway.YouseesheguessedhowIfeltaboutyou,Emma.AsforSaskia,I’veneverthoughtofthegirlotherthanasayoungcousin,andshelooksuponmeinthelightofanolderbrother.’

‘Indeed?’Emma’svoicewascool,‘andthe—thegirls—MevrouwTeylingentoldmethatyouhavehadagreatmanygirl-friends.’

‘Naturally,’heagreedgenially,andshetookhereyesoffherworkjustlongenoughtoseetheamusementonhisface.‘I’mforty,Emma—surelyabachelorofthatageisallowedgirl-friends?’Hesawthelookonherface.‘Onlygirl-friends,mydearestEmma,neveronespecialone,notuntilImetyou,sittinginthatridiculouscarofyours,spittingwithragebecausethedoorwouldn’topen.Ishouldhavekissedyouthenandthereandmarriedyououtofhand.Asitis,youhavebeenmyconstantdistractioneversince.Theonlycureistomarryyouandneverletyououtofmysightagain.’

Emmahadfinishedtheneedles.Shefoldedthelintcarefully,awarethatJustinhadcomeacrossthetiledfloor,tostand,tallandlargeandsolid,besideher.Sheturnedherbackonhimandheardhimsay,

‘Ifyouwillturnround,mydearestgirl,Iwillaskyoutomarryme.’Shefelthisfingersatthebackofherneck,untyingthestringsofhermask.Hepulledhercapofftoo,sothatherhair,alreadyuntidy,wasworsethanever,buthedidn’ttouchherandshestayedasshewas.

‘BeforeIdoIwanttoknowwhatwillhappentoMevrouwTeylingenandSaskia—willtheygoonlivingatHuizedenLinden?’

‘SaskiaisgoingtoliveinUtrecht.Sheisgoingtomarrysomeonewholivesthere—thatwaswhyIwentthere,tomeethim.Hermotherknewnothingofit—itwasalittleshockforher,I’mafraid,butIhaveboughtahouseforherinTheHague.Shewillbehappythere,Ithink,andintimeweshallbecomefriendsagainandshewillcometovisitus,Idaresay,butIwantnooneinmyhomebutyou,mydarling,andmeandthechildrenyouwilldoubtlessseefittopresentmewith.’

Shehadn’tquitefinished.‘You’vebeentendays—IneverthoughtI’dseeyouagain.’

Shefelthishandsonhershouldersasheturnedherroundatlast.‘Ihaveajoblikeanyotherman—Icouldn’tgetawaysooner,andIwasn’t

goingtowriteandriskanymoremisunderstandings.Andnowhaveyoufinishedaskingquestions,becauseIhaveonetoaskyou,mylove.’Emmasmiledathimthen.‘Willyoumarryme,Emmadarling?’heasked.

Hegavehernochancetoanswerhim,butbentandkissedhermouthwithslowgentlenessandthenagain,veryhardsothatshewasleftwithoutbreath.

‘Youhaven’tanswered,’saidtheprofessor,andkissedheragain,thistime

withruthlessness.‘Well,’saidEmma,stillverymuchoutofbreath,‘yougivemenochance.’

Shesmiledathimandhermouthhadnevercurvedsosweetly.‘OfcourseIwill,mydearest.’

Shereacheduptoputherarmsaroundhisneck.‘Whatdidyouwishwhenweblewoutthecandles?’shewantedtoknow.

Justinsmiled.‘Thatismysecret,mylove,althoughitisonlyfairtotellyouthatmywishcametrue.’

‘Sodidmine,’saidEmma,andreacheduptokisshim.

ISBN:978-1-4592-3931-9

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Copyright©1972byBettyNeels.

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