An Exploration of Male Self-Confidence in the Coaching

Context

Presented by Jackie Fitzgerald at the 11th Annual Coaching and Mentoring Research Conference, Oxford Brookes University.

15 January 2015

Why this topic?

• Male self-confidence not well understood – almost a taboo

‘Men who lack confidence? Don’t you despise them?’

• Not clear what self-confidence ‘is’.

• How can coaching improve confidence?

References to search terms on Google

• Indicate familiarity with terminology (Shamma et al, 2004; Kelly & Cool, 2002)

• Self-confidence = 129m results

• Self-esteem = 53m results• Self-efficacy = 9.5m

results(search carried out 27/5/14)

Literature review• No clear definition/understanding of self-confidence

– Lies at the interface of abilities and personality (Stankov & Crawford, 1997)

• Little found on male self-confidence specifically (except arrogance)

• Men & women have similar levels of self-esteem (Reitzes & Mutran, 1994)

• Degree of Gender Role Conflict (O’Neill, 2013) affects confidence

• Confident men feel competent (Reitzes & Mutran, 1994)• Not clear whether & how coaching helps self-confidence

issues

Research method

• Intepretivist paradigm + pre theory status of question = IPA study

• 6 outwardly successful men aged 40-65 • All had been coached and/or mentored• Semi-structured interviews• Data transcribed and analysed following

Smith, Flowers & Larkin (2009) process

Superordinate themes3 emerged:1.The uniqueness of the RP’s attitudes towards and experiences of self-confidence2.Control as a factor in increasing self-confidence3.The need for someone to talk to

1. The uniqueness of self-confidence

What self-confidence means to the RP’s RP1 RP2 RP3 RP4 RP5 RP6

Trust in my own ability, competence X X X X X X

It depends on context/the situation   X X X X X

Accepting myself, being comfortable in own skin, being

congruent

  X   X X X

Financial security     X X   X

An act, what I project   X X   X  

Being well-prepared, having practiced   X       X

Something you can work on and change   X       X

What affects RP confidence?What affects your confidence? RP1 RP2 RP3 RP4 RP5 RP6

The situation & context X X X X X XHaving someone to talk to X X X X X XKnowing what's in store, familiarity X X X XBeing part of a good team X X XFamily support X X X

Autonomy, making my own decisions X XBeing successful X XCongruence X XPractice X XCompetence X X X X XBy acting it I become it X XPast experience X XInformation X XFinancial security X XHow high the stakes are X XBeing in the right place in the world X XHaving things under control X XAdding value, making a difference XWanting to be confident XKnowing you're doing the right thing XAge XPhysical attributes XEducation XChange XCuriosity, being open minded XPositive attitude XPlanning, preparation XBeing judged, what other people think X

2. Aspects of self-confidence

• Having: resources, skills, experience, power, autonomy, security, someone to talk to

• Doing: Education, training, research, planning, practice

• Being: congruence, authenticity• Clear distinction between work and social or

quasi-social situations: linked to control?• Arrogance a means of taking control?

Factors influencing confidence

External Internal

Being judged -ve Competence +veFamily expectations generally -ve Congruence +veMasculine role expectations -ve Self-acceptance +veHaving a good team around you +ve Positive attitude +veFamily support +ve Wanting to be confident +veHaving someone to talk to +ve Experience +veEducation +ve

Physical attributes (eg height, weight) both Financial Security +veSocial background both Familiarity +veThoughts often -ve Preparation +veAge often -ve Skill & knowledge acquisition +veSituation/context both Experience +veBeing in a competitive situation both Autonomy +veLow stakes +ve

Random Control

Factors influencing confidence

Effects of low confidence

• Reported effects strikingly similar: sleeplessness, physical discomfort, changes to posture, illness:

• RP3: So, it’s that…it’s just, it’s unsettling. So, you wake up in the middle of the night, you don’t get back to sleep. So, you go and chop a tree down at five in the morning, except the chainsaw will wake everybody up, so you can’t do that either. You just end up pacing round the house.

• Coping strategies: distraction, physical activity, withdrawal

3. Someone to talk to• All considered this important

– Can’t talk to their wives, keep them out of things• Slightly motivational, more of a sounding board:• RP4: I would say overall its nearly always been

positive because its helped me deal with, for want of a better word, nagging doubts about things, and not in a massively life changing way, but in a positive reinforcing way, in a ‘there is nothing wrong with you thinking that’ kind of thing and occasionally a little bit of a gee up about ‘yeah, I do need to be…’

What the RP’s wanted from their coach

• Listen, support, teach & guide• Get them through ‘stuff’• Affirm, confirm thinking and decisions• Validation more than motivation • Most valued a mentor rather than a coach• However the coaching experience was

transformational for some

Implications for coaching practice 1:

• Idiosyncrasy of self-confidence re-emphasised the importance of initial contracting.

RP5 ‘That makes me think. One of my clients, a senior guy in banking, he wanted coaching on some self-confidence stuff and I never thought to find out what he meant because I thought I knew what he meant. We are going to be having a very different conversation in a few weeks.’

• Does the client want coaching or mentoring?

Implications for coaching practice 2:

• Coach must find out what self-confidence means to that client & what combination of factors influences their confidence

• Set aside value judgements - remain client centred

• Focus on context and situation – Can coaching help given the context?

Implications for coaching practice 3:

• Frequent temperature-checking needed– Situation may change– Client may not raise confidence themselves

• Confidence warning signs:– Sleeplessness, illness, slouching– Withdrawal, reticence, avoidance of issues,

arrogance (Berglas, 2006)– Focus on/concerns about decision-making

Implications for coaching practice 4: Suitable approaches

• Client-centred to address the highly individual nature of male self-confidence

• Skills and performance for those with strong ‘doing’ bias or in task/performance contexts

• Strengths-based– Known to improve confidence & self-esteem (Hodges

& Clinton, 2004; Linley & Harrington, 2008)– Addresses fear of showing weakness (Brown, 2012)

Further research

• Do gender role expectations matter more for younger, less affluent men?

• What differences are there between how men and women recognise & deal with self-confidence

• Is there a developmental aspect to confidence?

Contact info

Written and presented by Jackie Fitzgerald

jackie@alchemybusinesscoaching.bizt: 01235 861 311

m: 07833 478 761 twitter: @jfitzbizcoach

All slides © Jackie Fitzgerald 2015

ReferencesBerglas, S. (2006) ‘How to keep A players productive’, Harvard Business Review, Vol. 84, Issue 9, pp. 104-112.Brown, B. (2012) Daring Greatly How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. London: Penguin Books. Kindle edition.Hodges, T.D., Clinton, D.O. (In press) Strengths Based Development in Practice In: Linley, P.A., & Joseph, S. (eds.) International Handbook of Positive Psychology in Practice: From Research to Application. New Jersey: Wiley and Sons. Available from: http://strengths.uark.edu/development-in-practice.pdf [Accessed 25 September 2014].Kelly, D., Cool, C. (2002) ‘The effects of topic familiarity on information search behavior’ In: Proceedings of the 2nd ACM/IEEE-CS joint conference on Digital libraries. New York:ACM. Available from http://dl.acm.org/citation.cfm?id=544232 [Accessed June 9 2014].Linley, P.A., Harrington, S. (2006) ‘Strengths Coaching: A potential-guided approach to coaching psychology’. International Coaching Psychology Review Vol. 1 No. 1, 37:46O’Neil, J.M. (2013) ‘Gender role conflict research 30 years later: an evidence-based diagnostic schema to assess boys and men in counseling’, Journal of Counseling and Development, Vol. 91, pp. 490-498.Reitzes, D.C., Mutran, E.J. (1994) ‘Multiple roles and identities: factors influencing self-esteem among middle-aged working men and women’, Social Psychology Quarterly, Vol. 57, No.4, pp. 313-325.Shamma, D.A, Owsley,S., Bradshaw, S., Sood, S., Budzik, J., Hammond, K. (2004) Using the Web as a Measure of Familiarity and Obscurity. Available from: www.researchgate.net [Accessed June 9, 2014].Smith, J.A., Flowers, P., Larkin, M. (2009) Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis Theory, Method and Research. London: Sage.Stankov, L., Crawford, J. (1997) ‘Self-confidence and performance on tests of cognitive abilities.’ Intelligence Vol. 25, Issue 2, pp. 93-109.