witch trial

INDICTMENT

• HAS NO TASTE AND IS A STINKING RICH HILLBILLY

EVIDENCE

• WHEN ASKED HOW HE FELT ABOUT THE MURDER HE SAID ”SHE HAD IT COMING”

EVIDENCE

• SHE’S FRIENDS WITH NICOLE RICHIE

EVIDENCE

• SHE OWNS A CLASSY HOTEL OR TWO

EVIDENCE

• SHE HAS PUBLISHED HER DIARY

INDICTMENT

• HE KILLED HIS WIFE BECAUSE SHE WAS UNFAITHFUL

EVIDENCE

• SHORTLY AFTERWARDS HE ADDED: ”WE ALL HAVE IT COMING”

EVIDENCE

• SHORTLY AFTER THE MURDER HE WAS FOLLOWED BY POLICE FOR 20 MILES ON THE FREEWAY. IN QUESTIONING HE SAID ”I THOUGHT IT WAS A PARADE OR SOMETHING”

INDICTMENT

• RUINING THE SALES OF HAWAII SHIRTS FOR THE WHOLE WALMART CORPORATION

EVIDENCE

• HE IS OVERWEIGHT.

EVIDENCE

• HE IS A CARTOON CHARACTER

EVIDENCE

• HE DRINKS DUFF’S BEER

INDICTMENT

• HE BROUGHT SEXY BACK

EVIDENCE

• HE’S BALD

EVIDENCE

• REAL MEN DON’T DANCE

EVIDENCE

• HE FLASHED JANET JACKSON’S AT SUPERBOWL

INDICTMENT

• HE HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

EVIDENCE

• HE IS DEAD

EVIDENCE

• HE’S GOT A CROOKED LIP

EVIDENCE

• HE WROTE THE SONG JAIL HOUSE ROCK

INDICTMENT

• HE’S RELATED TO MARK LEVENGOOD

EVIDENCE

• HE’S BEEN SEEN ON TELEVISION

EVIDENCE

• HE’S WEARING SHORTS

EVIDENCE

• HE SPEAKS WITH A WEIRD FINNISH ACCENT

INDICTMENT

• SHE’S A COMPLETE NUTTER

EVIDENCE

• HER VIDEO IS CALLED ”CRAZY”

EVIDENCE

• SHE CAN DANCE

EVIDENCE

• THE TITLE IS ACTUALLY ”(YOU DRIVE ME) CRAZY (STOP REMIX)