why conflict arises

Why Conflict Arises

Type “A” Personality

Vs.

Type “B Personality

Type ”A” Personality

• Highly Competitive• Strong Personality• Restless when inactive• Seeks Promotion

Punctual • Thrives on deadlines• Maybe jobs at once

Type “B” Personality

• Works methodically• Rarely competitive• Enjoys leisure time• Does not anger easily• Does job well but

doesn’t need recognition

• Easy-going

Signs & Symptoms• Gossip • Avoidance • Resistance • Exclusion • Absenteeism • Mood change • Silences, or a drop in the amount of communication • Inappropriate Communication • Negative body language • Continual complaining or arguments • Change in work and decision-making styles • Change in social patterns, and • Recurring problems

CAUSES

• Role ambiguity • Perceived inconsistent or preferential treatment • Different values, beliefs and interests • Misunderstandings • Different personalities and communication styles • Poor performance • Limited information • Poor communication • Competition for limited resources • Reaction to change, and • Prejudice, ignorance and cultural differences.

Aggressive People

• Body language – Stiff and straight – Points, bangs tables to emphasize points– Folds arms across body

• Verbal language– “I want you to…”– “You must…”– “Do what I tell you!”– “You’re stupid!”

Aggressive people are basically insecure….. Try toavoid them.

Submissive people

• Body Language– Avoids eye contact– Stooped posture– Speaks quietly– Fidgets

• Verbal Language– “I’m sorry”– “It’s all my fault”– “Oh dear”

Submissive people have a great senseof inferiority

Assertive People• Body language

– Stands straight– Appears composed– Smiles– Maintains eye contact

• Verbal language – “Let’s”– “How shall we do this?”– “I think… What do you think?”– “I would like…”

Types of Conflict

• Within an individual

• Between two individuals

• Within a team of individuals

• Between two or more teams within an organization

Causes of conflict

• Conflict of aims- different goals

• Conflict of ideas- different interpretations

• Conflict of attitudes - different opinions

• Conflict of behavior- different behaviors are unacceptable

Stages of Conflict • Conflict arises

• Positions are stated and hardened

• Actions, putting into action their chosen plan

• Resolution???

Preventing Conflict• Assess positive and negative

personality traits of people involved

• Determine personality type – Aggressive– Submissive– Assertive

• Assess if people are introvert or extroverts...

Preventing Conflict

• Review past conflicts

• Assess communication skills of those involved

• Read body language of participants

Preventing Conflict

• Try to reduce conflict – Realize that communication is colored by

personal experience, beliefs, fear, prejudices

– Try to be neutral – Plan the timing and place of the

conversation – Realize that outside stress may add to

confrontation– Eliminate/reduce external interruptions

Preventing Conflict

• Manage the language used– Neutral vs. loaded words– Reduce technical language– Allow for cultural differences in language– Words may have different meanings for

different people…ask them to elaborate

Aids to Communication

• Listen Actively • Relax• Observe body

language• Develop interest in

others interests• Ask for clarification• Plan what you are

going to say

• Tailor words to person

• Determine the best timing

• Determine the best place

• Why is the conversation necessary

Personalities who cause conflict

• Aggressor

• Passive

• Absentee

• Error prone

• Negative attitude

• Chatterbox

• Do nothing

Personalities who cause conflict

• Unreliable

• Time waster

• Resentful person

When we get into arguments with people, the problem won’t be sorted until both parties feel that they have been treated fairly.

Grrrrr….. Grrrrr…..

In order to make things fair, all parties have to:

• Understand• Avoid making things worse• Work together• Find a solution

First we have to try to understand – by putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes.

Each person must be allowed to say how

they feel – without being interrupted.

In order for it to work:

Each person must listen carefully to what

the other has to say.

Everyone must make sure they don’t make

the situation worse … so

NO:

put downsrevealing of secretsscreaming or shoutingfighting, kicking, pushing!

Each person must be determined to work

together with the others.

This means:Taking turnsSpeaking quietly, but firmlyActive listeningTalking about how you feel, without

blaming anyone.

Now find a solution by brainstorming together.

Think of as many ideas as possible!

All parties must take responsibility for their part of the agreement.

And stick to what has been decided.

…. And be prepared to talk again if things aren’t improving.

How’s about another chat?

O.K. That’s cool!

Communication do's and don'ts • Do• listen carefully • show concern and encouragement (eg. "I'm concerned that you feel that way ...") • express empathy (eg. "I understand how that might make you feel...") • ask open-ended questions ("Tell me about that"... "What was that like?") • acknowledge and validate each position • allow time for each person to have their say • receive the whole message before reacting, and • summarise and paraphrase, helping each person to express their needs (eg. "What I

hear you saying is ... is that correct?"). • Don't• do not display impatience and defensiveness, even if you feel this way • do not act as if nothing is the matter • do not judge • do not deny the feelings of others • do not argue the feelings of others • do not try to solve the problem too quickly, and • do not assume sole responsibility to fix the problem.

What needs to be done?

Arrange a time to talk with everyone involved. Talk clearly and quietly. Each one says what he or she feels is the problem. Talk about or list solutions to the problem. Work through suggestions to find something that all can agree with. Agree to try and talk again if things aren't working out.

Useful Web Links

• http://www.teach-nology.com/teachers/lesson_plans/health/conflict/ - free lesson plans and resources on conflict resolution

• http://www.brainy-child.com/article/sibling-relationship.shtml - tips on resolving conflict with children

• www.diversityanddialogue.org.uk – conflict resolution project for young people

• http://www.youthlearn.org/learning/teaching/community.asp - games and teaching resources for supporting children to resolve conflicts and work together

• http://www.teachingideas.co.uk/more/pshe/contents04developingrelationships.htm - PSHE ideas, lessons and resources on encouraging children to work together

• http://www.woodcraft.org.uk/library/item/24 - Woodcraft resources, games and ideas on teaching and supporting co-operation

• Based on the book, Managing Conflict, by Ursula Markham