uid power of the spoken word 2013

Welcome! The Power of the Spoken Word

University of Industrial Distribution

March 11, 2013

Stephen D. Boyd

Welcome!

The difference between the right word, and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.

~ Mark Twain

The greatest problem in communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished.

~ George Bernard Shaw

Intrapersonal Communication:communication with self

Call on your technical skills when dealing with things and your interpersonal skills when

dealing with people.

Communication Choices

Information to all: Email Personal: In person or phone Confidential: In person

Small talk at the beginning is really not small talk.

Perception: the way we view the world around us

Learn to perceive more accurately:

Do a perception check. Be aware of perceptions people have of

you.

Interpersonal Communication Tips

Understanding precedes persuasion

Serendipity: an unplanned connection between two people

Positive Words

Use “I” statements Use “and” instead of “but” “I’ll be glad to” instead of “I have to”

Meaning is in the

PERSON

not the

WORD

FALSE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT WORDS

That a word has only one meaning

That a word has the same meaning that it had years ago

That we are giving enough information

C.O.I.K. FALLACY

(Clear Only If Known)

Learn to listen more effectively.

From Listening Comes Wisdom

&

From Speaking Repentance.

Chinese Fortune Cookie

Fake attentionInterrupting the speakerRespond to the wrong thingDistractionsAvoid difficult materialDaydreamingSuperiority complexUninteresting subject matter

TORTOISE-HARE COMPLEX

Tortoise talkers —

Speak 150 WPM

Hare listeners —

Think 500 WPM

Use the thought/speech ratio to concentrate

Ask yourself, “What is the point?” Review what has been said Look for nonverbal cues Don’t be doing other things as you listen Pay attention

Tips for attentiveness

“Be present when you are present.” Be physically alert. Collect your thoughts before listening. “I will learn something new.”

APATHY:lack of feeling, interest, or concern

EMPATHY:putting yourself in another person’s position, but with separateness

SYMPATHY:an overinvolvement in the emotion of another

Encourage the person to talk

Give the speaker space Be pleasant Use the pause

The more we know about context, the better we can

empathize.

A EF HI KLMN T VWXY

BCD G J OPQRS U

Which line would the “Z” go on?

Give others the right to their feelings.

Recognize the significance of the situation.

Focus on the “here and now,” not the “then and there.”

Don’t give advice.

Don’t “rain on the speaker’s parade.”

“Wow, that must be rough.”

“I think I’ve felt that way, too.”

“Looks like that really made your day.”

“This means a lot to you, doesn’t it?”

“I can see you feel strongly about that issue.”

“I can only imagine how you feel.”

Paraphrase

“Sounds like you are telling me…” “In other words…” “So what you are saying…”

Learn to ask skillful questions.

Ears look like question marks. When you really listen, you ask questions.

~ Barry Lane

The person who talks the most dominates the conversation. The person who asks the questions controls the conversation.

Get information before you give information

Closed questions have a “yes” or “no” answer or some other brief

response.

A man is alone writing. There is a power failure and he dies.

Open questions begin with “What,” “How,” or “Why.”

Some answers are two or three questions deep

Three powerful words in questioning

Feel Think In your opinion

Competitive Edge

Important information is often 2-3 questions deep

Ask one more question Know the perception of your customer

about you Rehearse important conversations Be ready with an example

People buy on emotion and justify with logic.

It is better to tell a lot about a little than it is a little about a lot.

Lou Heckler

An experienced speaker is audience-centered; the novice

speaker is self-centered.

Differences in Audiences: 2000 to 2012

Audiences expect more from the speaker Audiences “bring the office” with them to

their seats Attention more difficult to control Control “mental surfing” the audience is

used to doing

I Am Sold Myself

“Which way did it go?”

“I knew I shouldn’t have had that second helping.”

“Don't move! It’s crawling up your leg!”

If a person takes off sunglasses, I can hear better.

Gestures

Describe and reinforceAway from the faceToward the audienceDon’t confuse energy with frenzy!Onomatopoeia with your body

That is the ugliest dog I have ever seen.

I never said I stole money.

Speak where you are equal distance from most members of

your audience.

Speak with Confidence

Practice 3 times

Practice

Walk through

Drive through

Fly through

Speak with Confidence

Practice 3 times Use purposeful movement early Have a “wow” factor every 10 minutes Have a positive attitude about your speech

and your audience

Speak with Confidence (cont’d)

Open with “good stuff” Be mentally alert by careful planning Become familiar with your speaking space

Use deductive method

Go from general to specific—state your conclusions first

Minimal structure required: point and support

Assert your ideas Value of “3s”

The Rule of Three:

The human mind is strongly attracted to things that come in “three’s.”

This principle calls for a speaker to say something in groups of three: three items, three points, three whatever.

3

3

33

3

33

Introduction

Body

Conclusion

Kinds of Transitions

1.Signposts — usually numbers

2.Internal summaries

3.Interjections — devices to draw attention to an idea

Save the best until last.

Move to action: “What I want you to do as a result of my

presentation is…”

Exit line: helps the speaker earn the right to sit down

Quotation

Testimonial

Tie back to opening

Increase YourPower of Persuasion

Let your confidence show

Feel good about your appearance Know your audience Develop your uniqueness Choose material you believe in Be willing to adjust as you speak

To Be Persuasive, General Statements Should Be Followed With:

Examples: Stories/case studies to illustrate point

Testimony: Opinion statements of experts who agree with your point

Statistics: Recent numbers that support your views

Special persuasive techniques

Show how what you advocate works elsewhere

Use recent material Use variety in evidence Meet objections up front Less required for readily accepted ideas

Use emotional appeals as well as logical appeals

Learn to tell your own story. Be a student of your own life.

Criteria for telling the story

Be specific Be personal Maintain a sense of direction Use animation Include dialogue when appropriate

That which holds attention determines action.

~ William James

Just because you can does not mean you should.

A presentation is not an essay on its hind legs.

Norwood Brigance

So…write for the eye, but speak for the ear!

Oral Style

More informal Shorter sentences More repetition

Echo words

She was well known but not known well.

If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.

Stephen Stills

Alliteration

“…not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their

character.”

I quote others only the better to express myself.

Michel de Montaigne

Handling the Question and Answer Period

• Let the audience know up front• Start with “What questions do you have?”• Consider repeating• Avoid “loaded” questions

Handling the Question and Answer Period (cont’d)

• Make your answer concise• “I don’t know” is an appropriate response• Give everyone a chance• Make eye contact with everyone• Better at the end with limited time• Don’t evaluate questions

Potpourri for Presentations

What should you do if…

Someone interrupts you with a question? A tornado warning sounds during your

speech? Your speech is supposed to follow a 10-

minute video, but the DVD doesn’t work? Someone is mowing the lawn outside the

window? Bad news precedes your speech?