the art of self-coaching @ stanford gsb, class 7: unhappiness

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The art of

Photo by Seth Anderson [link]

self-coachingEd Batista

Class 7: May 15, 2015

Class 7

Photo by Leo Reynolds [link]

Unhappiness

Photo by Leo Reynolds [link]

Photo by Alex Eflon [link]

Where are weDealing with adversity

Oliver Burkeman & Stoicism

Pema Chödrön & Buddhism

Viktor Frankl & Logotherapy

going?

How will weShort exercises

Small group discussion

Photo by Chloe Fan [link]

get there?

Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]

3 exercises 60 mins

Small groups 15 mins

For next time… 5 mins

Agenda

What’s in theroom?

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Discuss with your partner

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UnhappinessEveryone you meet

is fighting a battle

you know nothing about.

~ Wendy Mass

Not a deep dive

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Positive

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psychologyConnections with today

Importance of meaning

Emotion management

Mental models

Downsides

Photo by Susanne Nilsson [link]

Banish unhappiness?

Peterson: Blame the victim

Agency “I’m responsible”

ExercisesPen & paper

No one will see what you write

Be explicit, detailed & personal

Emotional experiences, not just cognitive

Exercise #1

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Discuss with your

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partner

Stoicism

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Stoicism

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Not “stoicism”

Equanimity ≠ Weary resignation

Stoicism

Photo by Martin Fisch [link]

What is happiness?

Equanimity & tranquility

(Eudaimonia, not mere pleasure)

Stoicism

Photo by Martin Fisch [link]

Cultivate equanimity & tranquility

Turn toward negative emotions

(Growth mindset)

(Meta-emotion)

Stoicism

Photo by Martin Fisch [link]

Things do not touch the soul.

Our perturbations come only

from the opinion which is

within.

~Marcus Aurelius

Stoicism

Photo by Martin Fisch [link]

Distress stems from our beliefs &

judgments

Turn infinite fears into finite ones

(Emotion management)

(Mental models)

Exercise #2

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Discuss with your

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partner

Buddhism

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Buddhism

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Resisting our addiction to avoiding pain

Being inquisitive & open to experience

(Comfort with discomfort)

(Mindfulness)

Buddhism

Photo by Sarah J [link]

What we call obstacles are really the way

the world teaches us where we’re

stuck.

~Pema Chödrön

(Mental models)

Buddhism

Photo by Sarah J [link]

Seeking pleasure is an opportunity to

observe

what we do in the face of pain.

~Pema Chödrön

Buddhism

Photo by Sarah J [link]

A strong feeling will arise, and instead

of

simply letting it be there, we

panic.

~Pema Chödrön

(Meta-emotion)

Buddhism

Photo by Sarah J [link]

Death is wanting to have every

experience

confirm you and congratulate you and

make you feel completely

together.

~Pema Chödrön

(Growth mindset)

Exercise #3

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Discuss with your

Photo by Mike Dish [link]

partner

Logotherapy

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LogotherapyHappiness cannot be pursued; it must

ensue.

~Viktor Frankl

(At odds with positive

psychology?)

LogotherapyMan’s search for meaning is the

primary motivation in his life.

~ Viktor Frankl

LogotherapyConsistent with positive psychology?

Eudaimonia > Mere pleasure

Agency & responsibility

LogotherapyIt is possible to practice the art of

living

even in a concentration camp,

although suffering is

omnipresent.

~ Viktor Frankl

LogotherapyEverywhere man is confronted with

fate,

with the chance of achieving

something through his own

suffering.

~ Viktor Frankl

Logotherapy

Change gears

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Thank your partner

3 approachesWhich one is most relevant to you right

now?

Reflect for a minute

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Form smallgroups

Stoics, Buddhists, Logotherapists

No more than 6 in a group

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Discuss with your group

How are these ideas relevant to you?

Where might you go with them?

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Debrief

What did you learn?

To sum up

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Multiple approaches to self-coaching

Conceptual & experiential aspects

Learning how you learn

For next time…

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Class 8Success

Photo by funca88 [link]

Class 8Success

David Foster Wallace on life

Sonja Lyubomirsky on myths

OPTIONAL: Peter Drucker on self-

management

…and an assignment

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