the art of self-coaching @ stanford gsb, class 7: unhappiness
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The art of
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
self-coachingEd Batista
Class 7: May 15, 2015
Photo by Alex Eflon [link]
Where are weDealing with adversity
Oliver Burkeman & Stoicism
Pema Chödrön & Buddhism
Viktor Frankl & Logotherapy
going?
How will weShort exercises
Small group discussion
Photo by Chloe Fan [link]
get there?
Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]
3 exercises 60 mins
Small groups 15 mins
For next time… 5 mins
Agenda
UnhappinessEveryone you meet
is fighting a battle
you know nothing about.
~ Wendy Mass
Positive
Photo by Susanne Nilsson [link]
psychologyConnections with today
Importance of meaning
Emotion management
Mental models
Downsides
Photo by Susanne Nilsson [link]
Banish unhappiness?
Peterson: Blame the victim
Agency “I’m responsible”
ExercisesPen & paper
No one will see what you write
Be explicit, detailed & personal
Emotional experiences, not just cognitive
Discuss with your
Photo by Keoni Cabral [link]
partner
Stoicism
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Not “stoicism”
Equanimity ≠ Weary resignation
Stoicism
Photo by Martin Fisch [link]
What is happiness?
Equanimity & tranquility
(Eudaimonia, not mere pleasure)
Stoicism
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Cultivate equanimity & tranquility
Turn toward negative emotions
(Growth mindset)
(Meta-emotion)
Stoicism
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Things do not touch the soul.
Our perturbations come only
from the opinion which is
within.
~Marcus Aurelius
Stoicism
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Distress stems from our beliefs &
judgments
Turn infinite fears into finite ones
(Emotion management)
(Mental models)
Discuss with your
Photo by Harsha K R [link]
partner
Buddhism
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Resisting our addiction to avoiding pain
Being inquisitive & open to experience
(Comfort with discomfort)
(Mindfulness)
Buddhism
Photo by Sarah J [link]
What we call obstacles are really the way
the world teaches us where we’re
stuck.
~Pema Chödrön
(Mental models)
Buddhism
Photo by Sarah J [link]
Seeking pleasure is an opportunity to
observe
what we do in the face of pain.
~Pema Chödrön
Buddhism
Photo by Sarah J [link]
A strong feeling will arise, and instead
of
simply letting it be there, we
panic.
~Pema Chödrön
(Meta-emotion)
Buddhism
Photo by Sarah J [link]
Death is wanting to have every
experience
confirm you and congratulate you and
make you feel completely
together.
~Pema Chödrön
(Growth mindset)
Discuss with your
Photo by Mike Dish [link]
partner
LogotherapyHappiness cannot be pursued; it must
ensue.
~Viktor Frankl
(At odds with positive
psychology?)
LogotherapyMan’s search for meaning is the
primary motivation in his life.
~ Viktor Frankl
LogotherapyConsistent with positive psychology?
Eudaimonia > Mere pleasure
Agency & responsibility
LogotherapyIt is possible to practice the art of
living
even in a concentration camp,
although suffering is
omnipresent.
~ Viktor Frankl
LogotherapyEverywhere man is confronted with
fate,
with the chance of achieving
something through his own
suffering.
~ Viktor Frankl
Logotherapy
3 approachesWhich one is most relevant to you right
now?
Reflect for a minute
Photo by Horia Varlan [link]
Form smallgroups
Stoics, Buddhists, Logotherapists
No more than 6 in a group
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Discuss with your group
How are these ideas relevant to you?
Where might you go with them?
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Debrief
What did you learn?
To sum up
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Multiple approaches to self-coaching
Conceptual & experiential aspects
Learning how you learn
Class 8Success
David Foster Wallace on life
Sonja Lyubomirsky on myths
OPTIONAL: Peter Drucker on self-
management
…and an assignment
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