the art of self-coaching @ stanford gsb, class 5: resilience
Post on 16-Jul-2015
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The art of
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self-coachingEd Batista
Class 5: May 1, 2015
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Where are we
Resilience elements & practices
going?
How will we
More experiential
Stories in small groups
One coaching conversation
Photo by Chloe Fan [link]
get there?
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Small groups 35 mins
Concepts 25 mins
A coaching conversation 20 mins
For next time… 5 mins
Agenda
Power
Image courtesy of TED [link]
Resilience
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A resilience story
Use your RQ
4 minutes
Reflect
Crucible stories
Photo by Dave Hogg [link]
Meaning-making
Mental models
Connections
Resilience
Early childhood & insecure attachment
Conditioned habits
Implicit memories
Negativity bias
Trauma
Resilience
Childhood & life experiences matter…
…& change is eminently possible
Neuroplasticity is key
ResilienceEmotion regulation
Impulse control
Optimism
Causal analysis
Empathy
Self-efficacy
Reaching out
elements
What have we
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covered so far?Mental models
Mindset, goals & change
Emotion management
Reframing, self-soothing, mindfulness
Happiness strategies
Coaching
What else
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might we try?Reivich & Shatté
Learning ABCs
Avoiding thinking traps
Detecting icebergs
What else
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might we try?Variations on a theme
Identify & explore our mental models
All conceptually straightforward
Hard to execute under stress
Key = practice & capacity
Mental models
Perceptions shape reality
Self-engagement, -awareness, & -intervention
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Reframing
The meanings we assign Emotional response
Re-interpret a situation Manage our emotions
Our mental models shape our experiences
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Self-engagement
Am I in an active dialogue with myself?
Coaching, journaling, reflection
Avoiding thinking
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traps
Avoiding thinking
Tunnel vision
Overgeneralize
Jump to conclusions
Personalize / externalize
Magnify (-) & minimize (+)
traps
Avoiding thinking
Tunnel vision Big picture
Overgeneralize
Jump to conclusions
Personalize / externalize
Magnify (-) & minimize (+)
traps
Avoiding thinking
Tunnel vision
Overgeneralize Narrow focus
Jump to conclusions
Personalize / externalize
Magnify (-) & minimize (+)
traps
Avoiding thinking
Tunnel vision
Overgeneralize
Jump to conclusions Slow down
Personalize / externalize
Magnify (-) & minimize (+)
traps
Avoiding thinking
Tunnel vision
Overgeneralize
Jump to conclusions
Personalize / externalize Look out / in
Magnify (-) & minimize (+)
traps
Avoiding thinking
Tunnel vision
Overgeneralize
Jump to conclusions
Personalize / externalize
Magnify (-) & minimize (+) Balance
traps
Self-awareness
What do I know about myself?
Am I aware of my thoughts & feelings?
Feedback, physical attunement, mindfulness
Photo by ЕленАндреа [link]
Detecting
Underlying, unexamined beliefs
Often in 3 key areas
Achievement
Acceptance
Control
icebergs
Detecting
Impact on resilience
Beliefs Consequences disconnect
Inexplicably strong emotions
Clashing beliefs = paralysis
icebergs
Self-intervention
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Putting it alltogether
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Putting it alltogether
Of all the concepts we’ve discussed…
…which ones work for you?
…which ones would you like to try?
To sum up
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Resilience is dynamic & multi-dimensional
We can employ our unique strengths…
…& address areas of weakness
Many paths to success
Vulnerability
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Read Brené Brown (ch 2) & my post
2 videos in the post
TEDx on Vulnerability (20 mins)
Shame & Empathy (8 mins)
Then you have an assignment…
Another story…
Experiences that involve feelings of vulnerability
Embarrassment, remorse, guilt, shame
Use the sheet to identify 5 stories
You’ll decide which one to tell
You’ll have 4 minutes to tell it
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Looking ahead…
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Vulnerability, Unhappiness, Success
Less research, more application
Less prescriptive, more subjective
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