teasing, bullying & gossiping presenters ralph whalen, students & parents april 15, 2010

Teasing, Bullying &Gossiping

PresentersRalph Whalen, Students & Parents

April 15, 2010

ScheduleTeasing: Two types

Parent Q: Good T examples?

Classroom: Videos on T

Classroom Bullying & Video

Books Gossiping & Bullying

What we do at TAS when kids TBS. (Mr. Rabon)

What can you do at home to help with TBG.

Kids’ Skits (9:00)

What to do when have a problem with TBG.

General Q’s

Future: Seminars & Book groups

Evaluation

Teasing (a friend)Cheyenne & Rachel

Teasing (Not a friend)Asher & Christine Bullying Maggie, Michelle, Anna, Ella & Anya GossipingJacqueline, Patricia & Charlotte

Student Skits

Teasing- Two TypesTeaser Person teased

Good/Fun

Bad

Good Teasing

Expression of affection

Form of play

Teaches laugh at self

Teaches non literal communication

Round Table DiscussionIntroduce yourself to everyone at the table.

What examples of good teasing can you give?

Bad TeasingAsk: Why is this person teasing me?

If a friend: Ask to stop.

Not a friend: Ignore/Walk away.

Don’t tease back.

Verbally skillful?

Why are these two teasing Frankie Flowers? 2:05 & 3:20

Why is this boy teasing his sister? 4:15 & 6:03

Bullying

Different than teasing

Different types

Solution: Power on your side

80% Solution

“STOP THAT, I DON’T LIKE IT”

80% Solution: Power in Numbers 7:00 & 8:25

Gossiping

Why? Power, Fun.

Gossiping hurts everyone.

If gossiped to…

If gossiped about…

Mr. Peabody’s Apples

Partner DiscussionWhat has worked for you as you deal with TBG?

Positive role models

Create caring environment

Establish limits & explain acceptable behavior

Monitor student behavior

Guidance UnitsGr. 3: TBGGr. 4: Conflict ResolutionGr. 5: Leadership & Friendship

Preventing TBG At TAS

When TBG happens at TASTake it seriously

Encourage students to solve problems if they can.

Have students talk to a school adult.

Complete a Values Learning Plan.

Model, Model, Model

Teach Good TMonitor home TBG

Teach assertiveness

Communicate

Preparing For TBG: Parent Role

What is the father doing correctly?

What could he do differently?

Bullying Video

When Your Child Reports TBGListen

Help problem solve.

Brainstorm support.

Have faith in your child.

Check back.

Should Parents Call the Other Child’s Parents?

NO!Why not?

What if the Problem Persists?

Talk to the classroom teacher.

Talk to the counselor.

Talk to the principal.

What Child Sees TBG?Responsibility VS Safety

If danger is involved, get an adult.

They canListenDiscourage RevengeUse TAS ValuesBefriend

What If Your Child TBG?

Listen

Give appropriate attention & power

Ask for help

Community Center

Handouts

Evaluations

Next Year

Final Steps

ThankYou

Most bullying is just kids being kids. Kids don’t do these sorts of thing intentionally.

FALSE

Most kids don’t bully intentionally, but 5% do.

The majority of bullying involves acts of physical aggression

TRUE

It could however be verbal or social manipulation

Adults are generally unaware of the extent of bullying among children.

TRUE

It usually happens in unsupervised areas and often very quickly.

10-15% who are often bullied don’t tell.

Children who bully others often believe the other child antagonized them and therefore caused the problem.

TRUE

Bullies may suffer physical punishment.

Bullies may have negative or indifferent parenting.

Bullies may have a learning disability.

Some bullies don’t read social situations correctly.

Children who are bullied are usually more sensitive than their peers.

TRUE

They may react more to a bully.

Boys and girls are involved in bullying at about the same rate.

TRUE

Boys are more directopen physical or verbal

Girls are more indirect gossiping social isolationmanipulating friendshipspopular girls often bullies

Bullying: What Kids Should Do

Can’t ignore it because it will get worse.

Loud assertive voice, “Stop that, I don’t like it.”

Get more power on your side.

Get a friend to help.Get an adult to help.

Kids are powerless to stop bullying among peers.

FALSE

The 80% solution

5% are the bullies

15 % are bullied

The 80% can help the 15% by stopping the 5%.

Gossiping: What Kids Should Do

Tell the person to stop. That you don’t want to hear gossip.

Ask, “How do you know that’s true?”

Ask, “How can we help?”

Adults can play only a limited role in preventing bullying. It is up to the children to change.

FALSE

Adults can create a positive atmosphere.

Adults can supervise effectively.

Adults can intervene and stop bullying.

Realize ages 8-12 is the prime time of gossip

Realize kids are trying to fit in

Teach empathy

Preparing For Gossiping: Parent Role

Model Social Skills

Monitor Home Bullying

Monitor Electronics

Model Anger Expression

Connect Your Child

Preparing For Bullying: Parent Role