political pardons, prominent prisoners, and the power of strategic forgiveness · 2019-05-21 ·...

Political Pardons, Prominent Prisoners and the

Power of Strategic Forgiveness

Antoinette Allen, Ph.D.

Faculty - Chief Storyteller

Center for Leadership Development

Federal Executive Institute

South African Apartheid

MaDiba Leadership - 2018

• Passion Produces Perseverance

• Expect Change to be Messy

• Forgiveness is Key to Focusing Forward

• End Right vs. Being Right

• Change Begins from the Inside-out

“Madiba taught us that at some time in our lives we are all victims of something, but we get to choose whether or not we will be victimized.”

~Kevin & Jackie Freiberg

Political Pardons

Prisoner1967 - 1990

Protester1918

Peace maker2013

Prominent Prisoners

“As I walked out the door toward my freedom, I knew that if I did not leave all the anger, hatred and bitterness behind that I would still be in prison.”

The Power of Strategic Forgiveness

Strategic – In Advance

Forgiveness - to willfully put aside any feelings of resentment you may have towards a person who has committed a wrong, has been unfair or hurtful or otherwise harmed you in some way.

Strategic – In Advance

Telling the Story

• Who

• What

• When

• Where

• Why

• How

Rule # 1: Establish a Powerful Why

I Have Hated you Long Enough…

I Will Not Raise My Kids in Prison!

Emotional Physical

Metaphorical

Rule #2: Create a Culture of Forgiveness"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

Mahatma Gandhi

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at

someone else but you are the one who gets burned”

The Buddha

“Dispelled is anger as forgiveness is grasped”

Guru Amar Das

“Who takes vengeance or bears a grudge acts like one who, having cut one hand while

handling a knife, avenges himself by stabbing the other hand.”

Jerusalem Talmud, Nedarim 9.4

“Although the just penalty for an injustice is an equivalent retribution, those who

pardon and maintain righteousness are rewarded by God. He does not love the unjust”

Qur’an 42:40

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother

who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not just seven

times, but seventy-seven times!” Jesus Christ

The 2020 Leader

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Freedom model (copyright pending) Antoinette Allen, 2019

Forgiveness

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget. Thomas Szasz

Model developed by Desmond and Mpho Tutu

Resilience

Empowerment

Equity

Dominion

Optimism

“Hope is a powerful weapon.”

Music

“It is music and dancing that make me at peace with the world.”

The Rhythm of Courageous Leadership

• Model forgiveness at work, particularly if you’re a leader. Leaders’ behavior often has the greatest impact on organizational culture, a kind of contagion effect. Leaders who model forgiveness on a regular basis are cueing similar behavior in others.

• Apologize and attempt to make restitutions. If we don’t take responsibility for our mistakes, distrust grows and the fear of something happening again can be worse than the original incident.

• Rebuild trust by working on a common task, creating new experiences and memories of cooperation.

• Conduct interventions (sometimes best done by third parties) to address conflict and foster forgiveness. Invest in programs to build understanding and teach evidence-based tools for ongoing forgiveness in the workplace.

Rule #3 Leave a Legacy of Leadership

ForgivenessResilienceEmpowermentEquityDominionOptimismMusic

“Work to support courage where there is fear, foster agreement where there is conflict, and inspire hope where there is despair."

Antoinette Allen, Ph.D.202-748-3370

antoinette.allen@opm.gov

“Un forgiveness is death by a thousand tiny cuts.”

Antoinette Allen