listening the secret key to successful communication eugene b. kogan research fellow john f. kennedy...

Listening The Secret Key to Successful Communication

Eugene B. KoganResearch Fellow

John F. Kennedy School of GovernmentHarvard University

HKS Communications Program

September 15, 2014

Listening: The Secret Key to Successful Communication

1) Allows you to demonstrate respect

2) Enables you to avoid misunderstandings by getting your message across effectively

3) In sum, helps you build successful relationships

Famous expression: You only see what you know.

My favorite expression: How much you see depends on how much

you think and listen.

Why Is Listening Important?

Position: what the person says he/she wants

Example: I need a microwave.

Interest: the reason why the person wants this

Example: I need to warm up my lasagna, which is why I need a microwave. (But I don’t really care how you warm up my lasagna, so an oven would work, too.)

Active listening is an effort to go beyond immediate positions to

uncover the speaker’s underlying interests.

Interests vs. Positions

Listening: The Secret Key to Successful Communication

1) Think about what the other person is saying

2) Demonstrate with your body language that you care / are thinking

about what the other person is saying

3) Ask open-ended questions about what the other person has said

4) Ask “why?”

5) Rephrase what the other person has said

Active Listening: Basic “To Do” Principles

Listening: The Secret Key to Successful Communication

Tell the person next to you about one thing you

care deeply about (e.g., gay marriage, climate

change, etc.).

That person will make strong arguments against

your beliefs.

Your task: engage in active listening.

Exercise: Listening to Difficult Arguments

Introduction to Negotiation

I Want to Listen to Your Feedback

Eugene_Kogan@hks.harvard.edu

Listening: The Secret Key to Successful Communication