impact on family systems

Impact on Family Systems

Bob Campbell, Psy.D., M.Div.MKSN Conference

April 20, 2013

Family Differences

“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

- Tolstoy

Interconnections

Interconnections

Interconnections

Trauma

Triangles

Triangles

Triangles

Homeostasis• Every system works to maintain itself• Change increases stress

Triangles

The Effect of Childhood Trauma• Stress and stress response• Every situation is different• Diathesis/stress model

• Connections may be broken• Sense of being understood is lost• Feeling intensely vulnerable

Self-Protection

System Out of Whack

Guilt• “I did something wrong”

Shame• Guilt says “I did something wrong.”• Shame says “I am something wrong.”• Embarrassment• Silence• Stuckness

Blame• Blaming the perpetrator• Blaming the church• Blaming the structure• Blaming God• Blaming the family• Essence of blame – a struggle

to understand and interpret

This is even more complex …

Rigidity

Rigidity• Secrecy, decorum, rules, and shame• Related to faith stance• Black and white thinking• Oughts, shoulds, and can’ts

Boundaries• Open and closed systems• Family rules

Depression

Isolation

Anxiety

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder• Flashbacks• Re-experiencing• Avoidance• Distress• Hypervigilance• Irritability• Comorbid mood disorders

Even more complexity

Brokenness from Outside

External Trauma

Brokenness from Inside• Most important relationships• Trusted • Empowered• Authorities• Connected with Faith

• Loss of connection, attachment • Abandonment• Betrayal• Development of shame from lack of attachment

Internal Brokenness

Internal Brokenness

Ripple Effects

Repetitive Traumatization

• Learned hopelessness• Impact on developmental schema• Loss of meaning• Withdrawal from social support

TRAUMA

Healing the Family System

Seeking Assistance

Keeping Healthy Boundaries

Opening Lines of Communication

The F-word• Alternatives• Letting go• Softening• Learning assertiveness• Learning self-care• Defusing• Working toward, rather than against• Finding purpose

Increasing Flexibility

Resilience

Dr. Bob Campbellrcampbell@willowwellness.comwww.willowwellness.com