have a conversation about family future

PRESENTED BY OWEN HODGE LAWYERS

FAMILY FUTURE HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT

–Johnny Appleseed

“Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it

now”

Alan Lakein

What we’ll cover?

• Have a conversation about estate planning

• Timing is everything

• Use stories as openers

• Talk together as a couple

• Smooth the way with children

• Divide and conquer

• Explain your reasoning

• Avoid confrontation

WHAT WE’LL

COVER ?

1. HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT

ESTATE PLANNING

Some people don’t like to discuss estate planning...

• Having these conversations can take courage.

• They help avoid surprises, lead to better financial planning and promote family harmony.

BUT..

IS EVERYTHING

2. TIMING

• Organising a time for a conversation can work better than catching someone abruptly

• Don’t let it give you both a reason to procrastinate.

• Alternatively do something else such as taking a walk and bring up the topic.

3. USE A STORY

AS OPENER

Perhaps a news report about someone who recently died may be relevant.

Or maybe you know a story about the sudden death of a friend who hadn’t planned and how much hardship that caused the family.

Often it is easier to start with current events or an anecdote.

An adult child could tell

his father:

“I just did my own estate plan. Have you thought anything about this?”

AS A COUPLE

4. TALK TOGETHER

Think how your partner prefers to be COMMUNICATED to …

Try being fatalistic

“I think we need to talk about ways to provide for

you and the family in case something happens to me”

Make it a subject that concerns you

both

“We are not getting any younger. Botox isn’t going to hold us together forever”

Focus on your children

“Now that we are parents, we really need to have wills”

HOW TO TALK TOGETHER AS A COUPLE?

RULE 1:

RULE 2:

RULE 3:

CHILDREN

Older Parents who share their estate planning intentions risk hostility from adult children

who do not like what they hear

5. SMOOTH THE WAY WITH

Ask each child for feedback.

There is no obligation to change an estate plan after hearing a child’s preferences but communicating may

help refine the approach so everyone is happier.

6. DIVIDE & CONQUER

How families handle delicate issues depends both on the particular circumstances and the personalities involved.

6. DIVIDE & CONQUER

• In some families it may be best to have a series of talks, rather than covering everything at the same time

• In a group the chance that not all participants will hear the same message is increased.

• Parents may prefer to speak to each child separately, rather than addressing them collectively.

7. EXPLAIN YOUR

REASONING

As a parent who has reared and loved children all their lives one of your major purposes of estate planning is

to leave a legacy to the next generation.

7. EXPLAIN YOUR

REASONING • For many families that will

be primarily the good loving and ongoing relationships of your surviving children.

• Therefore where a will is anymore complicated than equal shares to each sibling, an explanation in a separate letter of the reasons for the unequal bequests may benefit the siblings and sometimes, a judge

CONFRONTATION

Arguments will be damaging to relationships and reduce your credibility, especially with an elderly

parent who thinks you are just protecting your own inheritance.

8. AVOID

• It’s better to pull back rather than poison your final years.

• For spouses who encounter pushback try:

“Don’t you think we own this to each other”

THANK YOUIf you have any questions about your estate

plan, please contact us on 1800 770 780 or 02 9570 7844.

http://www.owenhodge.com.au/

Owen Hodge Lawyers