death & dying funeral & follow-up. elizabeth kubler ross published 1969 swiss-born...

Death & Dying Death & Dying Funeral & Follow-upFuneral & Follow-up

Elizabeth Kubler Ross

Published 1969Swiss-born psychiatrist Swiss-born psychiatrist

July 8, 1926 – August 24, 2004July 8, 1926 – August 24, 2004

Living With An Empty Chair, Roberta Temes, Second Edition, 1980

Living With An Empty Chair, Roberta Temes, Second Edition, 1980

Three particular types of behavior exhibited by Three particular types of behavior exhibited by those suffering from grief and loss:those suffering from grief and loss:

• Numbness (mechanical functioning and social insulation) • Disorganization (intensely painful feelings of loss) • Reorganization (re-entry into a more 'normal' social life.)

Hospital Danville, Va.

Margie

How Do You Die?How Do You Die?

The Seven Words from the Cross

“Father, forgive them,

for they know not what they do.”    Luke 23.34

“Father, forgive them,

for they know not what they do.”    Luke 23.34

Who do you need to Who do you need to forgive?forgive?

II. “Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise” 

Luke 23.43

II. “Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise” 

Luke 23.43

Who needs a word about Who needs a word about their salvation?their salvation?

III. “Woman, behold thy son.  Behold thy mother.”   John 19.26-27

III. “Woman, behold thy son.  Behold thy mother.”   John 19.26-27

Who needs provision Who needs provision when you leave?when you leave?

IV. “My God, My God, Why hast Thou forsaken me?” 

Matthew 27.46  

IV. “My God, My God, Why hast Thou forsaken me?” 

Matthew 27.46  

Because Jesus suffered Because Jesus suffered this separation, you never this separation, you never need to fear!need to fear!

V. “I thirst”  John 19.28

V. “I thirst”  John 19.28

When physical needs When physical needs come take the help come take the help

offered.offered.

VI. “It is finished”  John 19.30

VI. “It is finished”  John 19.30

Finishing fulfills Finishing fulfills God’s plan for your God’s plan for your life on earth.life on earth.

VII. “Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit”   Luke 23.46

VII. “Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit”   Luke 23.46

You enter the hands of You enter the hands of a heavenly Parent who a heavenly Parent who cared for you so much cared for you so much He gave all He could He gave all He could

give.give.

““I am the resurrection and the life. He who I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live.

And whoever lives and believes in Me shall And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die.”never die.”

John 11:25-26John 11:25-26

When Death HappensWhen Death Happens

When Death Happens

Meetings With Family• As soon as possible after death notification• To make funeral service arrangements• At first viewing of the body• At home for meal• At visitation-viewing• Immediately before service• After service• Follow up

When Death HappensWhen Death Happens

When Notified – 1st Visit• Get with family as soon Get with family as soon

as possibleas possible• Pray with themPray with them• Stay 30 minutesStay 30 minutes• Offer to make calls Offer to make calls

from the house to from the house to family members, close family members, close friends, etc. friends, etc.

• Leave your card – Leave your card – number in plain sightnumber in plain sight

• Which funeral home Which funeral home • Which cemeteryWhich cemetery• Contact Church membersContact Church members• Contact Church funeral Contact Church funeral

teamsteams• Ask them to call with Ask them to call with

time the funeral home time the funeral home will come to make will come to make arrangementsarrangements

When Death Happens

Arrangements Meeting• Let them make choices• Time – Type - Location• Special Scripture• Special Songs

– Make sure of the song.– Who will play-sing?– Who will contact?– Remind of time of songs

• Other Speakers– What will each do?– Who will contact?

• Other Special Rites– When will they take place– Who will be in charge

• Other Elements To Include– Eulogy– Family statement– Family members speak

When Death Happens

Meetings With Family• As soon as possible after

death notification• To make funeral service

arrangements• At first viewing of the body• At home for meal• At visitation-viewing• Immediately before service• After service

• Follow Ups• On anniversary of Death• 1 Month - Call• 3 Months - Card• 6 Months - Call• 1st Year – Visit• 2nd Year - Visit

When Death Happens

Follow Up Follow Up On anniversary of Day of DeathOn anniversary of Day of Death

1 Month – Call or Visit1 Month – Call or Visit3 Months - Card3 Months - Card6 Months - Call6 Months - Call11stst Year – Visit Year – Visit22ndnd Year - Visit Year - Visit