conciliatory gestures make transgressors seem more agreeable mike mccullough ben tabak university of...

Conciliatory Gestures Make Transgressors Seem More

Agreeable

Mike McCulloughBen Tabak

University of MiamiCoral Gables, FL

Reconciliation: Friendly Post-Reconciliation: Friendly Post-Conflict ContactConflict ContactRingtailed lemurRingtailed lemur Patas monkeyPatas monkey Guinea baboonGuinea baboon Rhesus Rhesus

macaquemacaque

Redfronted Redfronted lemurlemur

Golden monkeyGolden monkey Chacma baboonChacma baboon Pigtail macaquePigtail macaque

Brown capuchinBrown capuchin Spectacled Spectacled langurlangur

Stumptail Stumptail macaquemacaque

Black macaqueBlack macaque

Red-bellied Red-bellied tamarintamarin

Gelada baboonGelada baboon Longtail Longtail macaquemacaque

Liontail Liontail macaquemacaque

Sooty Sooty mangabeymangabey

Olive baboonOlive baboon Japanese Japanese macaquemacaque

Barbary Barbary MacaqueMacaque

Vervet monkeyVervet monkey Hamadryas Hamadryas baboonbaboon

Moor macaqueMoor macaque Tonkean Tonkean MacaqueMacaque

Mountain GorillaMountain Gorilla BonoboBonobo ChimpanzeeChimpanzee HumansHumans

Aureli & de Waal, 2000

Forgiveness and Reconciliation:Forgiveness and Reconciliation:Cross-Cultural Universals?Cross-Cultural Universals?

• Near-universal Near-universal (93%) presence of (93%) presence of forgiveness and/or forgiveness and/or reconciliation in a reconciliation in a random sample of random sample of 60 human societies60 human societies (McCullough, 2008)(McCullough, 2008)

“I recently asked a world-renowned American psychologist, who specializes in human aggression, what he knew about reconciliation. Not only did he have noInformation on the subject, but he looked at me as if the word were new to him” (De Waal,1989, p. 233)

Explaining Reconciliation in Explaining Reconciliation in Non-Human PrimatesNon-Human Primates

• Benign Intent (Silk, 2002): Conciliatory Benign Intent (Silk, 2002): Conciliatory gestures (CGs) evolved as inexpensive, gestures (CGs) evolved as inexpensive, inconspicuous inconspicuous signalssignals of desire to resume of desire to resume peaceful relationspeaceful relations

• Valuable relations (de Waal, Aureli): CGs Valuable relations (de Waal, Aureli): CGs evolved because they reassure and evolved because they reassure and reduce anxiety victims’ and aggressors’ reduce anxiety victims’ and aggressors’ post-conflict anxiety, and thus accelerate post-conflict anxiety, and thus accelerate the re-establishment of valuable (i.e., the re-establishment of valuable (i.e., fitness-enhancing) relationsfitness-enhancing) relations

A “Catalogue” of Human Conciliatory Gestures

ImprovedImprovedRelationshipRelationship

Forgiveness orForgiveness orReconciliation Reconciliation Behavior (V)Behavior (V)

Conciliatory Conciliatory Gestures (O)Gestures (O)

Judgments of Judgments of Value, Safety, &Value, Safety, & CareworthinessCareworthiness

(V)(V)

Agreeableness as a Summary Agreeableness as a Summary of Value, Safety, and of Value, Safety, and CareworthinessCareworthiness• Higher-order trait associated with Higher-order trait associated with

prosociality, helpfulness, active efforts to prosociality, helpfulness, active efforts to avoid conflict, generosity, and avoid conflict, generosity, and trustworthinesstrustworthiness

• Agreeable people have more relaxed conflict Agreeable people have more relaxed conflict resolution styles, are less likely to respond resolution styles, are less likely to respond aggressively to provocation, and are less aggressively to provocation, and are less frequently the targets of aggressionfrequently the targets of aggression

• Characterized by adjectives such as warm, Characterized by adjectives such as warm, kind, trusting, appreciative, and cooperativekind, trusting, appreciative, and cooperative

Measuring Forgiveness via Self-Report: The Measuring Forgiveness via Self-Report: The Transgression-Related Interpersonal Motivations (TRIM) Transgression-Related Interpersonal Motivations (TRIM) InventoryInventory

Subscale 1: Avoidance Motivation (7 items)Subscale 1: Avoidance Motivation (7 items)““I keep as much distance between us as I keep as much distance between us as possible.”possible.”““I avoid him/her.” I avoid him/her.”

Subscale 2: Revenge Motivation (5 items)Subscale 2: Revenge Motivation (5 items)““I’ll make him/her pay.”I’ll make him/her pay.”““I want to see him/her hurt and miserable.”I want to see him/her hurt and miserable.”

Subscale 3: Benevolence Motivation (6 items)Subscale 3: Benevolence Motivation (6 items)““I want us to bury the hatchet.”I want us to bury the hatchet.”““I want us to have a positive relationship I want us to have a positive relationship again.”again.”

Scale Scale alphaalphas > .85. Scale scores range from 1-5. We use a Rasch-s > .85. Scale scores range from 1-5. We use a Rasch-derived measure that combines all 18 items. 0 = lowest derived measure that combines all 18 items. 0 = lowest theoretical value, 10 = one logit of difficulty.theoretical value, 10 = one logit of difficulty.

Transgressor Agreeableness may Mediate the Conciliation-Forgiveness Association

Measuring Reconciliation “Behavior”

Reconciliation Behavior

Conciliatory Gestures

Transgressor Agreeableness

.31* .27*

.32*

Conciliatory Gestures, Agreeableness, Conciliatory Gestures, Agreeableness, and Forgiveness: A Longitudinal Lookand Forgiveness: A Longitudinal Look

• 164 (54 male, 110 female) undergraduates, (164 (54 male, 110 female) undergraduates, (M M age = age = 19.6) 19.6)

• Experienced an interpersonal transgression within nine Experienced an interpersonal transgression within nine days of beginning the study (Range = 0-9 days, days of beginning the study (Range = 0-9 days, M M = 4.37)= 4.37)

• Completed up to 21 repeated TRIM measuresCompleted up to 21 repeated TRIM measures

• We used Rasch models to generate a unidimensional We used Rasch models to generate a unidimensional measure of forgiveness based on the TRIMmeasure of forgiveness based on the TRIM

• LGCMs to estimate initial status and rate of linear change LGCMs to estimate initial status and rate of linear change for every person, then associated those latents with for every person, then associated those latents with Conciliatory Gestures and the Big Five (John, Donahue, Conciliatory Gestures and the Big Five (John, Donahue, and Kentle, 1991)and Kentle, 1991)

Transgressor Agreeableness may Mediate the Conciliatory Gestures-Forgiveness Association

*p < .05

Sobel test statistic = -2.23, p < .05.

ConclusionsConclusions• Apologies, compensation, and behavioral and Apologies, compensation, and behavioral and

expressive indices of remorse and contrition expressive indices of remorse and contrition “hang together” in receivers’ perceptions“hang together” in receivers’ perceptions

• These conciliatory gestures seem to facilitate These conciliatory gestures seem to facilitate forgiveness and reconciliation, measured via forgiveness and reconciliation, measured via self-report and behaviorallyself-report and behaviorally

• These effects may be mediated by their These effects may be mediated by their intermediate effects on victims’ perceptions of intermediate effects on victims’ perceptions of transgressors’ agreeablenesstransgressors’ agreeableness

• Thus, CGs may work by making transgressors Thus, CGs may work by making transgressors seem like safer and more valuable relationship seem like safer and more valuable relationship partnerspartners

Interested in Interested in reading more? reading more? The speaker The speaker recommends . . recommends . . ..

San Francisco, Jossey-Bass (March, 2008)

THANKS!