an experience of inscribed collectivity mike gallant 090207
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An experience of inscribed collectivity:the trace of a gendered journey (mid-point 17:10:2006
Bristol UK)
MIKE GALLANT
m i k e . g a l l a n t @ b r i s t o l . a c . u k
Fe br u a r y 2007
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An experience of inscribed collectivity:the trace of a gendered journey (mid-point 17:10:2006
Bristol UK)
Abstract
This paper is an attempt, through text and other visual techniques, to convey
my own experience of taking part in a short collective biography workshop.
Through the experience of the workshop, subsequent reflection and diaries,
and through the use of writing as a methodology I have created a paper that
reflects my belief that inscribed within my body is my own local knowledge of
gender and, more importantly, intimate connection to other humans I
continue to consider how open these inscriptions are to adaptation,
development, conflation or abandonment.
This is a Rites of Passage story. After setting the context, I give a short
history of this Collective Biography, before exploring aspects of my personal
experience. I conclude by briefly considering the pain of inscription.
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Stuff and Non/sense
I am troubled and confused. Where to begin? Hesitate. Deep breath. My
God, this paper has been a challenge. My body feels tense right nowwhy
was it that yesterday, when I knew that I must finally put all my notes
together and create a text fit for my peers (and the academy), I inexplicably
pulled a muscle in my shoulder that makes it more painful to type? Why do I
know that the typing would in any case be painful? Why is my breathing
shallow breathing in this moment of introspection, of dialogue with my
selves?
Many questions; many answers:
1. A text fit my peers, I say in passing, and perhaps that is one crucial
aspect of this present writing: how to do justice to the shared
experience of others? Of course, this is no different to the prospect
of communicating any form of research that involves human beings
beyond myself. And yet that experience of Group C1 in conversation
and collaboration demands more maybe because it became so
essentially meaningful to me that I continue to hold it in aspic, to
watch it like the desired dessert whose sweetness can only be
savoured after the tedious main course. Im bloated by the vastness
of the main course of my life. I want no space to consume my just
desserts. And then there is a desperate fear that, while I look on, the
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experience may already be ossified, fit only for the mausoleum of
many group experiences.
2. I need to recognise that the subject matter of our collective
conversation (early experiences of gender) resonates with my
continuing personal experience of my daughters bullying at the hands
of older boys. There is a mouldering tanginess of disgust in the
passages of my head, and a pent up energy within these old bones. A
paradox of mildewed compost-bin history and lime pickle all in one
stumbling, continuous moment of life. I am part of this live political
experience. I am the Action Researcher in my own world. I wish to
make a difference.
3. I am afraid that I may not be able to make a difference. I am afraid
that this work today may not make a difference. I am afraid.
As Mikhail Bakhtin suggests, I become myself only by revealing myself to another,
through another and with anothers help. I cannot do without the other: I cannot become
myself without the other: I must find myself in the other, finding the other in me (in mutual
reflection and perception) (Todorov, 1984, p.96). And so it was, that in a
Gender-related stories I recognise from my own growing up experience - 1
it kind of irks me to see boys sit down unnecessarily. Stand tall and be proud. With alittle practice they can help extinguish a campfire because believe me, until you have experienced
that little gem you haven't really lived.
Jacks Shack, 2006
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significant manner I discovered more of myself, and others, in the clinical
spaces of bleached academic meeting rooms. The unbearable lightness of
being in spaces that add little sense of a historyat least, of a history that
reaches as far into the past as the stories that we shared. This in itself
impacted on the gelling of a collective who, though knowing each other,
knew nothing much of each other. Sue, Sophie, Malcolm, Mike and Christine
I salute us all!
A short history of this Collective Biography
A collective biography could simply be an expression describing the normal
method of constructing meaning within societies: we tell each other stories
of our personal experiences, and construct from this a shared understanding
of the world we inhabit. However, how we tell these stories is significant:
they may be communicated through spoken and non-verbal language in a
direct person-to-person experience, or they may be recorded (and
subsequently decoded by reader/observer) through written text or other
Gender-related stories I recognise from my own growing up experience 2
there was shame attached to being a girl in a boysworld, or a boy in a girls world. We have not yet had
time within the collective to tease out more about what itmeant to be a boy or a girl or multi-gendered.
Sue Dale (Collective Member), 2006
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recorded visual forms (e.g. cave painting, photography etc.). What has now
become known amongst qualitative researchers as Collective Biography uses
both these forms of discourse in an attempt to uncover lived experience and
throw light on unseen normative influences at work within societies2.
The very simplicity of the idea, in the sense that it directly replicates a
constructionist view of meaning making, is perhaps its strength. However,
the concept has no definition as such, having developed from the Memory-
Work of socialist-feminist researchers in Eastern Europe led by Frigga Haug
(Haug et al., 1987; Haug, 1992; Onyx & Small, 2001), who carried the concept
to Australia and into the hands of Bronwyn Davies and others (e.g. Davies &
Gannon, 2006). It was here that post-structuralism nurtured and re-shaped
this process of collective auto-ethnographic research whilst retaining the
centrality of gender as its primary subject matter.
The term, collective biography is useful because it both describes the method of
working with personal stories and the oxymoronic implication of the phrase
foregrounds the tension between the individual and the collective that is both the crux
of the method and the source of its dilemmas.
Gannon, quoted in Onyx & Small, 2001
Gender-related stories I recognise from my own growing up experience - 3
You forgot to mention being able to write your name in the snow ;-)
Jacks Shack, 2006
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So it was that Jane Speedy (2006), in her work as a narrative therapist and
researcher, encountered the Collective Biography of Australian academia and
brought home the concept to colleagues and students in the Graduate School
of Education in Bristol. In this UK version of Collective Biography,
members of the research group (or collective) share personal stories of their
own experiences around a theme (in this case Explorations of Gender and Power).
These, or other, stories are then individually written before being
constructively critiqued by other members of the collective in a protocol
based around the techniques of Definitional Ceremony and Reflecting
Teamwork (White, 1995). At leastthat was the theory3.
In Australia the intensity of the Collective Biography process had been
heightened by the practice of holding residential workshops in the holiday
destination of Magnetic Island. These groups were always single gender,
continuing the feminist tradition of Frigga Haug and her colleagues. The
academically validated Collective Biography unit, from which this paper
results, appears to be the first attempt at work with a mixed-gender collective.
It also differed from previous Collective Biography workshops in the length
of time that the collective (in my own case, Group C) was physically together.
It was generally recognised by all participants that ten hours or less was
unlikely to be sufficient time to produce research results: it was hoped that
the experience would engender some understanding of the process, and offer
the chance of follow-up work should the collective choose.
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Collective Biography is not only story telling. Writing as a methodology for
research has long been recognised (e.g. Richardson, 1997, 2000; Richardson &
St. Pierre, 2005) and is central to the Collective Biography process. However,
although a protocol for the development of individually and collectively
written work has crystallised out from past experiences of collectives, for
many participants it seems that the simple presence ofour bodies together in a
particular place and timeis crucial to the process (Davies & Gannon, 2006,
p.118; see also Park, 2005). Susanne Gannon goes on; our collective writing
in cyberspace has been sustained by the deeply embodied experience of these bodies
together in that place(ibid., p.118).
This has been my personal experience of Collective Biography so farI find
myself pondering as to how long such a trauma (for that is a reasonable
description of my felt experience, despite its more normal negative
connotations) remains embodied.
Gender-related stories I recognise from my own growing up experience - 4
When I was a child, I spake like a child,
I understood as a child, I thought as a child:
but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
(The Bible, `1 Corinthians 11)
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Shared experience in Collective Biography4
Journal Day 3Ive worked in many groups,therapeutic, training, definitionalceremony, supervisory, but thisgroup was different. Theexperience so profound is difficultto put into words. The differencebetween feeling a connectedindividual within a group of otherconnected individuals with varyinggroup dynamics, to what wentbeyond this description towardscollective experience. Thissomething held between uscreated a feeling deep within mybody as if these other storiesbecame embodied within myexperience. Hearing the storiesagain, becoming that giggling boyin the cupboard, the girl leftbehind crying dont go with(out)me the boaters on elastic andthe chest high elbows reminding
me that I dont belong hereanymore that small boy who wastoo big and who should have beena girl that invisible childashamed. There was for me asense of becoming multi-gendered.
The brutal betrayal of rippinghim/her apart, the bewilderment,the flatness. The movementtowards individual (ness) within a
group which hurts so much.Sharing these stories amongst awider audience needed for me tomove back into that same place ofcollective, but this time shift thestories into an older lessvulnerable place. I had becomefeeling invisible not belongingstill unfair in the cupboard alonein the rain.
Oh, what a surge of excitement as I read thisthat my own body is not mistaken in its feelings(though how can a body be mistaken in what itfeels?). Ive worked in many groups, early
encounter groups in the 1970s through to
facilitating therapeutic single gender groups andpersonal development groups for professionaltraining in counselling and psychotherapy.I too found the experience of Group Csomething beyond wordsso Ive freed myselffrom words and let myself create a picture toexpress this something that we speak about
deep in our bodies5. For now, as I write I cansurely feel that experience, and can touch somepart of you, Sue. And now Im feeling Malcolm
and the sun; now Christine, always upright,always held in tension, so perfectly book-learntChinese - and little girl so, so valued; I feel
water (where is that intervening image seepingfrom right now as I become aware of thistingling sensation of real living shootingthrough the physical body of mine?) and a duck
pool6in the courtyard square; and Josiesbudding breasts and confusion; and my ownlittle self, peeing up the shed wall as high as Ican, and then, yes, how could I ever be what
was demanded of me?7 To be a girl in the bodyof a boyto become multi-gendered.
As I sit for a moment, contemplating the brutal
betrayal I become aware that my left hand is
pulling my shirt and fleece clear away from mythroat. A constricted sense of being suffocated
by this demand to
belong? And this was an experience of
belongingand of keeping each other safe. Ofwalking away together to a place of lessconfusion, a place of growing autonomy, wherethe haunting memories of earlier childhood
were once more invisible. And yet, we (in somany ways an experienced group of adulteducators) did not have the immediateknowledge or experience of which way to turn.
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How I feel when I experience Group C
Figure 1. How do I feel when I experience Group C?
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A taste of ginger in Collective Biography8
Ginger helps on the boat -
A thin slice of fresh root held
between teeth and cheek
takes away a little of the rough passage
Twelve hours of tossing and turning
in my narrow cabin bunk -
bereaved
lost
such a precious time
together -
a delicious time
discovering each other and ourselves
like lovers
late adolescence tales
of drug-induced gladness in Australia, York
and ourselves
taking away the pain of earlier-year stories
told but yesterday
Green Claw over tea and toast
(1)Rebellion
(2)Revolution and then (3)
Revisionismand the banner swirls red-blood high
for just a few more moments
before the wind dies
Sick with the swell
and the rising and the yawling
I crawl to my notepad
the rhizome calling
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An experience ofCollective Biography10
After I read it out to you, you gave your first impressions - and I jotteddown some of the words and phrases that resonated with my ownexperience and added to it.
This is what I wrote:
Disappointment - feeling heavyfeeling sadchild in an adult world - not getting it
'Rain not as gentle' phrase v.poignant & sad
You were Too big - she was damaged - heavy/sad- cars punctuate events
embodiment senseraining running down awindow like tears streaming
Sense of responsibility down - lonelyfor nothing I had controlover - like the rain trapped like a feral
animalToo big - too small - animal skin of leather smell
This material should perhaps be the starting point for my contribution to the
Group C collective should we decide to pursue the issue of gender and
power through the method of Collective Biography.
Gender-related stories I recognise from my own growing up experience - 5
It grew less to be like fucking,and more like making love
Al Stewart, Love Chronicles, 19699
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I recall the joy of really writing something that hit home in the pit of my
stomach; the pain of re-writing and the sense of validation as the collective,
each voice alone, agreed: my work was better for the immediacy, the
simplicity, the sheer uncluttered emotive phenomena of the first version (see
Appendix 2).
CB: THEY DID
IT THEIR WAY!To quote Davies, et al:
(2000 :19) this process is
not the warm fuzzy pursuitof empathy and The
questioning and challenging
of each others stories can
take on a ruthless
quality11
This was the way that
tutors broke the news to
the participants on the
Collective Biography
workshop at Toffsville Uni
last October no, there
would be no tree frogs in
Bristol because here in
the UK we can take the
strain and lap up the pain!
Well, that wasnt to be the
message the mad bolshies in
one caucus would take heed
of. They thought they knew
better! Three women and two
men (whoever heard of
mixing gender in Collective
Biography? therellalways be questions there
wont there?) played away
and claim to have done the
whole thing painlessly.
One member of the tear-away
gang, Mike Gallant, said
its all about involvement
and intimacy, caring and
contentment, its about the
paradoxes of
poststructuralist humanism
and a constructionist
worldview.Bollocks!, we say - if
its going to be proper
Collective Biography its
gotta hurt know what we
mean?
Have your say log on at
www.cb.getitright.co.uk to
tell the softy lefties that
socialism just aint like
that! Ask Frigga Haug!
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Themes in our Collective Biography
Gender and Power
Mortal, invisible
Invincible [I think of this as Sues repeating theme]
In life inaccessible
hid from our eyes
Explorative
Shame
Physical hurting, confusion and aloneness
Group Process
You tell yours and I want to tell mine (experience)
Inexplicable connection
Possessiveness
Anger, defensiveness and xenophobia (other groups dont do it like us)
Gender-related stories I recognise from my own growing up experience - 6
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
Rudyard Kipling, If12
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Plagiarism in Collective Biography13
>
> Back to the collective. Plgiarism (can't
even spell it!) is always a
> problem to me in that as I listen to
other peoples stories, they become
> part
> of my own story and it is very difficult
to separate me from them - does
> that make any sense? This unit is a
minefield of shared experience and
> I'm
> not sure that it would be right to take
out the collective stuff.
>
Sue Dale email 27:11:06 8:34
Yes, lets get back there! And the
sooner the better
I know that Im using your ideas and
even your wordsand I know that I
will sign a form saying that these are
all my own words except the ones
that arent though God only knows
where my words come from if they
dont come from you and youand
youand you
And yet, of course I know
(connaissance or savvy?) what
plagiarism isits not this.
This is my storyand this is your
storythis is the riparian zone14 that
is such a nutrient-rich area close to
the flowing waters of the river of my
world.
Although the material products of Collective Biography can be genuinely the
work of one author (for example, the writings of a member of the collective
who is collating their own experience of the collective), an explanation of
how the product came to its fruition (a requirement of an academic
assignment such as this) necessarily benefits from extensive quoting of the
written work (or other recorded communications verbal, non-verbal,
electronically mediated or immediately experienced) of other members of the
collective. In this collective method of writing it is the very process of
savouring (savoir) the text of others that creates, through the distanciation,
another hermeneutic cycle. This is not plagiarism.
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Conclusion on this Collective Biography
Feelings are embodied; texts are inscribed. On balance I believe that my
experience of gender and power has been both embodied (through primary
experience) and inscribed (through recontextualised media). Inscribing is the
more painful of the two processes, though most of the time I cant feel it.
George MacLeod described Iona as a "thin place" - only a tissue paper
separating the material from the spiritual. To spend some time in such a
historic and inspiring setting is to be open to challenge and the exploration
of new horizons.15
I have found another thin place it is a place I can carry with me into any
spaceit is a place where I own my understandingsa place where I thicken,
sprout, nurture and fertilizea thin place where I can touch you through
the tissue paper.
Gender-related stories I recognise from my own growing up experience - 7
(Hanif) Kureishi made the interesting point that we
are no-longer shocked: It used to be not that long ago
that to shock was shocking, but that isnt the case anymore.
Now to shock is to conform and there doesnt seem to be
such a thing as normalcy if there was it would be shocking.
According to Kureishi, we all desire to be shocked,
and art finds that harder and harder to do now
that is why he wanted to get finished early enough to
get home in time to catch Big Brothers action of the day.
Simon Smith and the Amazing Dancing Bear (2007)
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Notes
1. Group C was one third of the student and tutor participants of the October2006 Collective Biography Unit of the Bristol University EdD (Narrative Strand)
course. Meeting over two and a half days, the taught course contained
substantial input from tutors and students in addition to approximately ten
hours spent in the small group Collective Biography workshop on Explorations in
Gender and Power.
2. An essential feature of Collective Biography as a research method is that,
compared to other (qualitative and quantitative) techniques there is more
substantial creation of knowledge (savvy?) through a tight (in terms of time and
space) hermeneutical cycle. An interesting observation here, and one that aligns
Collective Biography with Western Scientific Knowledge (WSK) rather than
Traditional Knowledge (TK) (see, for example, Dods, 2004), is that in common
with modernist western society, written text is relied on as the dominant
producer ofsavoir(know how knowledge). Although the distanciation that this
produces may allow for a hermeneutical cycle that thickens understanding within
the Collective, this understanding may be mistaken for connaissance(know that,
true/false knowledge) by the reader of the research product who necessarily
experiences decontextualisation and recontextualisation within the context of
its reading (see, for example, Ricoeur 1998). This is perhaps an unavoidableaspect of communicating any research that uses the pathways and
dissemination techniques of WSK! It is a strength of Collective Biography as
part of the Grand Narrative of WSK.
3. Our tutors, Jane Speedy, Tim Bond and Malcolm Reed, set the rules for our
Collective Biography workshop before we began (see Appendix 1). In practice,
Group C discovered such delight in the story-telling aspects of the process, and
such a sense of immediacy in our first written work, that we ignored rules and
created an intimate group experience that perhaps led more towards personal
growth than a Collective Biography. I was happy to take such a rare opportunityto share intimate life experience, and to enjoy the feelings engendered. For us,
Collective Biography appeared to be about the outcomes suggested by Bronwyn
Davies and colleagues (2004) though without the ruthless qualities of
questioning and without the fuzzy empathy. Empathy was not what I, at least,
felt connection and intimacy describe my feelings more accurately. The
difference is certainly subtle!
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4. The left hand column is the work of Sue Dale - shared with the collective (by
email) November 2006. I have written a commentary of my reactions to her
words in the right hand column.
5. In 2002 I kept a Visual Diary (see, for example, Ganim & Fox, 1999) that
involved a daily meditation on a particular aspect of my experience before
translating the feeling of that experience into a visual piece of art. Since that
time I have occasionally used the technique to clarify my experience without the
use of language and/or text. I began the process on this occasion by writing the
question How do I feel when I experience Group C?. I meditated on this for
five to ten minutes and then created the image, first with an extravagant pencil
doodle and then using this series of shapes as a base for pastel colour.
6. I realised later that my embodied feeling of a pool in relation to reading Sues
words (which in turn related to Christines story) might have been prompted by
Christines own words (interestingly, I had altered pond to pool in the text as I
came to the end of the phrase, as the word pond didnt feel right): Once we start
telling, each story seems to lead to the next, one persons memories triggering anothers. There is
some laughter, but also distress and powerlessness in our stories and we lean in towards each
other as the telling and responding goes round. I talk of my senseof a gathering pool of stories
in the middle which connect us. After about an hour (by this time weve abandoned the bits of
paper with tasks and timings) we have a tea break and, slightly less connected, get back
together again to write a short piece each. I move my chair out of the tight circle and turn away
to writeothers do the same. Christine Bell (Collective Member), 2006.
7. Appendix 2 is the text of the story I wrote on the first day of the Collective
Biography Unit at Bristol on 16 th October 2006. It concerns my early experience
of being aware of my gender, and how I learnt that I was the wrong gender.
8. This interlude celebrates what has been termed the rhizomatic qualities of a
research methodology that includes writing on rather than writing up the
available data (see, for example, Amorim & Ryan, 2005).
9. The second album by Al Stewart received early notoriety for including the word "fucking" in
its title track, and reprinting the word on its inner gatefold sleeve for all to see. Shocking. The
controversy thus gained was probably useful in garnering sales of the record, but, truth to tell, it
overshadowed the real reason why 'Love Chronicles' was as vital to the student population of
1969 as Heinz beans, matches and marijuana. It was, and is, for the most part, a very fine
record. Accessed at http://www.headheritage.co.uk/unsung/review/599 on 3rd
February 2007.
10.After an introduction to the theory and practice of Collective Biography work
the large group of the Collective Biography unit was split into three working
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collectives. I found myself in Group C. I was not aware of any particular choice
in the division of the large group. There was an initial period of extensive story
telling and conversation around the theme of my earliest experience of gender,
before we spent twenty to thirty minutes writing a story of an early experience of
gender (Appendix 2). We then read these stories to each other, one at a time,
giving limited feedback on our immediate cognitive and visceral reactions to
each others material. That evening I re-wrote the contemporaneous notes I had
made as the other members of the collective gave me their feedback on my own
story. It is that which is reproduced here as the starting point for this section.
11. This quote is from the Guidelines for Collective Biography given out to
participants as part of the pre-reading for the module (see Appendix 1).
12.The final two lines of If by Rudyard Kipling accessed onJanuary 20th 2007 at
http://www.allspirit.co.uk/kipling.html
13. The question of plagiarism was raised in email communications between
members of the collective. There was concern about matching the needs of the
assessment process of the University with the reality of the Collective Biography
process.
14. See Park, 2005.
15. I visited the island of Iona whilst travelling with my partner at the age of
seventeen and it made a lasting impression on me. The Iona community, based
at the Abbey church on the island (though now comprising members worldwide)
was founded in 1938 by the Rev George MacLeod, is an ecumenical Christian
community of men and women from different walks of life and different traditions in the
Christian church that is committed to seeking new ways of living the gospel of Jesus Christ in
today's world. Text is from http://www.iona.org.uk/abbey/main.htm accessed
on January 27th 2007.
http://www.kipling.org.uk/poems_if.htmhttp://www.kipling.org.uk/poems_if.htmhttp://www.iona.org.uk/abbey/main.htmhttp://www.iona.org.uk/abbey/main.htmhttp://www.kipling.org.uk/poems_if.htmhttp://www.kipling.org.uk/poems_if.htm -
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References
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Haug, Frigga et al. (1987) Female sexualisation: a collective work of memory [trans. EricaCarter]. London: Verso.
Haug, Frigga (1992) Beyond female masochism: memory-work and politics. London: Verso.
Jacks Shack (2006) Teach Your Boy to Pee Like a Man [posted March 30 2006] fromJacks Shack blog accessed athttp://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/2006/03/teach-your-boy-to-pee-like-man.html19th January 2007.
Onyx, Jenny & Small, Jennie (2001) Memory-Work: The Methodin Qualitative Inquiry,Vol.7, No.6, pp.773-786.
Park, Jeff (2005) Writing at the edge: narrative and writing process theory. New York: PeterLang Publishing.
Richardson, Laurel (1997) Fields of Play: Constructing an Academic Life. New Brunswick,NJ: Rutgers University Press.
Richardson, Laurel (2000) Writing: A Method of Inquiry in Denzin & Lincoln, Eds.,Handbook of Qualitative Research (2nd Edition). Thousand Oaks: Sage.
http://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/2006/03/teach-your-boy-to-pee-like-man.htmlhttp://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/2006/03/teach-your-boy-to-pee-like-man.htmlhttp://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/2006/03/teach-your-boy-to-pee-like-man.htmlhttp://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/2006/03/teach-your-boy-to-pee-like-man.htmlhttp://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/2006/03/teach-your-boy-to-pee-like-man.htmlhttp://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/2006/03/teach-your-boy-to-pee-like-man.html -
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Richardson, Laurel & St. Pierre, Elizabeth (2005) Writing: A Method of Inquiry inDenzin & Lincoln, Eds., The Sage Handbook of Qualitative Research (3rd Edition).
Thousand Oaks: Sage.
Ricoeur, Paul (1998) The Hermeneutical Function of Distanciation in Dayton, Eric, Ed.,Art and Interpretation: an anthology of readings in aesthetics and the philosophy ofart. Orchard Park, NY: Broadview Press.
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Speedy, Jane (2006) Personal communication. Bristol 16th October 2006.
Todorov, Tzvetan (1984)Mikhail Bakhtin: The Dialogical Principle [trans. Wlad Godzich].Manchester: Manchester University Press.
White, Michael (1995) Re-Authoring Lives: Interviews and Essays. Adelaide: DulwichCentre Publications.
http://simonsmithandtheamazingdancingbear.blogspot.com/http://simonsmithandtheamazingdancingbear.blogspot.com/http://simonsmithandtheamazingdancingbear.blogspot.com/http://simonsmithandtheamazingdancingbear.blogspot.com/ -
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Appendix 1
Collective biography: Guidelines for producing collective biography within aworkshop context: (from Davies, et al, Qualitative Inquiry, June 2004)
A process of conjointly reading for meaning, underpinned by notions of the self
as verb, perpetually in process, shaped and shaping, rather than the self as noun.
The idea is to make visible the discourses through which we make meanings and
make selves, including the discourses informing the collective biography
workshop itself, not just those informing individuals in their daily/previous lives
1. generate stories on chosen themeeach one threading on to the last
2. tell stories, others listening carefullyprobing where necessary for further
images and details to support the imagined story in their own minds eye
3. to take off, in new directions with new stories noting linkages anddifferences.
4. repeat the process
5. after about an hour of this process, participants go off and write on this
theme by themselves for half an hour or so writing not only
autobiographically, but also with the aim of writing into the space that makes
discursive processes and practices transparent, ie: noticing the histories in
which they have been caught up (eg: as Europeans, moral beings, music
lovers, etcetc) and developing an explicit awareness of the constitutive
process of writing
Questions for listeners to ask of a first draft:
1. Is it plausible/does it ring true?2. Does it work for me?
3. Was it well remembered/clearly described?
4. Was there sufficient detail for listeners to imagine it?
5. Could listeners make sense/meaning of the story?
6. Were there clichs generalisations, value-laden pieces where sharper clearer
language might have been?
7. Have other details, memories, particularities come to mind during this process
that shed further/new/unexpected light on the story?
By removing the general, the vague, the unclear (as far as the collective
imagination goes) we are not trying to get closer to the real, but rather,exposing more of the discursive processes and imperatives that are at play
To quote Davies, et al: (2000:19) this process is not the warm fuzzy pursuit of
empathy and The questioning and challenging of each others stories can take
on a ruthless quality
This perhaps seems a little stark but the purpose is not to tell the original
storytellers story to their own personal satisfaction, it is to tell it in a way that
can be vividly imagined by others (for which sharply accurate and specific
reflections and questions from others are required)
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The writing thus becomes, itself, a self-conscious, reflexive, and
innovative act that seeks to avoid the repetition of well-practiced ways of
knowing and includes, instead, detailed, embodied memories (2004:372)
Davies, B. (2000a). A body of writing 1989-1999. Walnut Creek, CA: Alta Mira
Press.
Bronwyn Davies, Jenny Browne, Susanne Gannon, Eileen Honan, Cath Laws,
Babette Mueller-Rockstroh, and Eva Bendix Petersen (2004) The Ambivalent
Practices of Reflexivity, in: Qualitative Inquiry, 10: 360 - 389.
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Appendix 2
Ive lost control. Im not who I thought I was. I was I was me. I was a child if I
was anything at all, and now Im not who I should be and theres even worse. But
Ill come to that later first things first.
It slipped out. My father speaking, you shouldve been a girl. One boy, one girl.
Maybe I looked aghast. A dumb pause. Hes speaking again, after your brother,
mum and I wanted one of each. He looks thoughtful for a moment, and now she
cant.
Blank silence. Im not understanding. I look up to his matter-of-fact face, curiosity
written in my young childs frown. She got so damaged having you, she cant have
anymore children - you were too big.
The shock, the momentary re-writing of a life so far. I am the guilty one, The one
who has taken away everything that my father and my mother want. How can I put
this right? I have to please them. They dont want me. I have to please them, the
doctor said it would be fineyou were a month overdue. But I wasnt listening
now. I was wondering how to make amends.
The car pulls up outside the school gates and I pull open the door. Its a boys
school. A boys preparatory school. Can I be prepared anymore? How to please my
parents, to be the girl they want but somehow cant have because of me?
My God! If Im not going to be a boy, perhaps I cant be part of this. The noise of
the slammed door.
The car pulls away, the engine gently moving things on. The exhaust still steaming in
the autumnal dampness. The leaves, perfect symmetrical figures, intense orange and
red, fallen on the tarmacnow marked with the tracks of tyres.
I become aware that the rain is not so gentle as I thought. The heavy drops are
tumbling on my life. I put my satchel over my head, the smell of comforting wet
leather closer to my face. I check in both directions and cross the road.
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