1

All Rights Reserved.

Copyright © Kelsey Diamond and obsessionphrases.com

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any formor by any means, electrical or mechanical, including photocopyingand recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system

without permission in writing from the author.

Disclaimer:

This book is written for informational purposes only. The author hasmade every effort to make sure the information is complete and

accurate. All attempts have been made to verify information at thetime of this publication and the authors do not assume any

responsibility for errors, omissions, or other interpretations of thesubject matter. The publisher and author shall have neither liabilitynor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss ordamage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by this

book.

2

How To Read A Man’s Mind & Figure Out What He Is Thinking – The Sure Fire Method

Do you have a man with whom you would describe your relationship as, “complicated?”

Do you or have you ever known a man with the most uncanny ability to agitate you, confuse you, and make you laugh all at the same time?

If you ever have had such a confounding male specimen occupyyour thoughts, then rest assured, millions of other women are all-too-familiar with just how frustrated you are.

Have you lost count of all of the times that a man claimed he would call you back after a seemingly perfect date? Have you celebrated more then three holidays since the last time you heard from that guy you’re waiting on to get back in touch with you at some point?

Chances are that you’ve got more than one reason to expect a call back, but unfortunately, it just seems as though none of those reasons is strong enough to actually warrant him making the call to you.

Just what is it that compels so many men to express what can’tbe mistaken for anything other than interest, just to wind up leaving you hanging out to dry again? Does it feel like you’re stuck in some kind if inescapable loop of raised spirits and crushing disappointment?

Chances are that it wasn’t as if you were just reaching for

3

straws when you thought that you had a decent chance at making something happen. After all, it’s not like he never said anything that would give you hope – unfortunately, it seems, men cannot always be counted on to say exactly what they mean, all of the time.

Sometimes a man will even be inclined to promise somethingthat he has no complete intention of following through on –andto make matters worse, there’s usually not even so much as agood excuse to be found as a way to make sense of this infernaldouble-talk.

“Just what on Earth could be on that mind of is?”

“What is he thinking? Does he even think at all?”

“What does he honestly want from me?”

“Why can’t he just consider my feelings a little bit more?”

“Why can’t he just be a little bit more honest with me?”

If these questions are buzzing through your mind more than acouple of times a month, then you’re not alone – thousands ofother women have dwelled on the same frustrating queries thatyou do, and for their peace of mind and yours, this guide wascreated to provide answers.

There’s no point in beating around the bush – men say a lot of things, but oftentimes, what they say is not always what they mean. The things that come from his mouth are only the scattered particles of what was produced in his head first, and that is what we’re going to be focusing on here.

When a man tells a lie, the particles of the truth are dispersed out into the air and disorganized like aerosol molecules – even though they’re scattered, however, they are still made of

4

something representing the fundamental truth.

Our goal is to be able to crack into the mind before the words can scramble the full form of the truth.I’m going to teach you how to read his mind.

Instead of just being led astray by what the man says, you are going to be able to forge a direct path into the true meaning of his words by understanding exactly what he thinks, exactly when you need to.

Understandably, you’re probably a little bit skeptical about this. You’re probably thinking, “Can it really be so easy?”

Without the things that I’ve put together to share with you here, no, it isn’t easy at all – if you take this information to heart, however, it will be very easy. If you truly want to master this art to the fullest, you’ve got to give nothing less than your full attention and commitment.

So, before we move ahead, you’ve got to stop whatever you’re doing. Cleanse your mind of all thoughts until it becomes a perfect conduit for new ways of thinking. If you try to fast-forward this process or skip ahead, then you will only be cheating yourself.

Relationships, as you can probably imagine, take a legitimate amount of time and energy to establish and consolidate from absolutely nothing.

You probably already do have a faint idea of what I have to share here, and learning the techniques will not take as long as it does for two people to go from strangers to a happily wed couple.

5

Comparativelyspeaking, the time that you’ll have to put into learning these things is nothing in comparison to the rest of your life spent with the man of your dreams – knowing that, wouldn’t it be practical to put the necessary time in to learn andapply these things while you still can?

When your mind is free of all presumptions and impatient itches, you will be prepared to hold the key to a door of dating mastery that you may have never thought possible. You don’t need to be mind reader with legitimate psychic powers in order to learn how to read a man’s mind.

I trust I’ve got your attention now? Perfect. Let’s begin.

The Truth Sits in What He Does, Not What He Says

So, here’s the first step to being a bona fide mind-reader – instead of focusing on his words, you need to prioritize learning the truth in his actions. Completely forget about the sounds he makes, and get prepared to understand the moves he makes. Let’s make this clearer with a few real-life examples-

Let’s just imagine that you just went out on a date with an awesome guy. They gave you their word that they would call you back, and then lo and behold, you don’t even get as much as a text message.

Now why is it that you think something like this happens?

Could it be that he honestly just lost your number?

6

Could he really just be terribly caught up with work but still legitimately hope that he had the time to call you?

Could he be minutes away from calling you at any minute, but just too overcome with nervousness to take the plunge?

Could he have had to travel to another continent just to get an exclusive treatment for a rare illness his cat came down with, only performable by one veterinarian in the entire world?

Seriously, just let your imagination run wild here and I’m sure the possibilities are endless – however, if you study his actions, then the most realistic scenario is actually the simplest one:

He just doesn’t like you, sister.

If a man truly wants to contact you, then trust me, he will find a way.

What’s on his mind will manifest in his actions. – end of story, take it as you will.

If he hasn’t called you, then the truth is that you simply are noton his mind enough to make it a priority for him to pick up the phone – it may sting to recognize that, but you certainly don’t do yourself any favors by denying it when it’s right in front of you.

You probably don’t really even need to use your imagination that much to think of just how tenacious a man can be when hereally wants to get a woman’s attention – you’ve probably heard or read the horror stories of women testifying to it.

7

Now let’s just take a moment to examine another highly probably scenario that you might be able to relate to in some way – you’re a bit perplexed about just what direction your relationship with your boyfriend is going in.

You two have been together for even longer than a lot of peoplehave been married for, and yet for some reason, it seems like your relationship is running on a treadmill and getting worn out instead of making progress. You’ve tried dropping hints about what you’d like for the future, but it’s like making suggestions to a bowling ball.

After months of exhaustive uncertainty, you start to get skeptical about the idea of your boyfriend ever actually decidingthat the word ‘commitment’ is in his vocabulary. You get emotionally compromised, and he does nothing to alleviate the situation aside from either changing the subject or going temporarily deaf.

Undoubtedly, you’re tormented by the questions atwitter in yourmind about just what could be holding him back.

Could it be that it’s just not the right time for him to talk about his future?

Could it be that you just haven’t waited long enough yet?

Is it that he’s going through a rough patch at work, and when he’s finally out of it, he’ll start thinking of what a diamond would look like on your ring finger?

Could it actually be that your boyfriend is the most hopeless and most indecisive romantic of the century, completely frothing at the bit to pop the question but cursed with the lack

8

of a perfect idea of how to make it magical?

Could it be that it’s not so much that he’s romantic, but pragmatic? Could he really just be waiting until he’s financially stable enough to put a white picket fence around your future and doesn’t want to jump the gun before he knows it can be a sure thing?

I want you to stop asking yourself these kinds of questions, if you are, and ask yourself just one question instead: what do hisactions tell you about his side of the story? Perhaps it may be even better to ask, what does his lack of action tell you about what’s really going on with him?

If you focused on his actions from the moment you started wondering what was taking so long, then you probably would have come to the conclusion that he was giving you an answer all along. Too many women (and even men) don’t understand this simple truth: the lack of an answer can actually be an answer.

If he hasn’t even taken the initiative to clue you in on his thought process about commitment after you’ve been together for years, then I’ve got bad news: he hasn’t had a thought process about commitment that he’s actually wanted to share with you.

What’s the reason that he hasn’t wanted to share any thought process about commitment with you? It’s because he doesn’t want to tell you what you don’t want to hear: he doesn’t want to marry you. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t enjoy your company, physical or otherwise, but being tied down? Forget about it.

Now let’s just make one thing clear, here: this does not mean that he’s incapable of marriage – quite the contrary! He may be

9

the type of man who can see a woman and feel like telling her he wants to marry her within fifteen minutes of learning her lastname – the only catch is that the woman he’s thinking about is not you.

He may not be thinking about marrying you, or the woman he wants to marry, but it’s a big world – if he goes outside on a regular basis, then sooner or later, chances are he’ll come across somebody who makes him want to ask those questions that you only hope he asks himself concerning you.

When he finds that someone who makes him think about the future in a way that you never could, do you want to still be there, waiting on him to replace his idea of that woman with thereality of you yourself? Unless you actually enjoy suffering, thenI highly doubt you want to be strung along until the string runs out.

Know this, and know it well – people wait for two things: the ‘right time’, and things that don’t exist. The ‘right time’ doesn’t exist. It’s not about the right time, it’s about the right woman. You are the right woman for somebody, but if you stick around with someone who doesn’t see that, you’re doing yourself a disservice.

So before he winds up doing everything necessary to settle down with someone else and figure out a way to easily (or poorly) let you down, you’ve got to get yourself in gear and learn how to read his playbook from your side of the field.

10

If It Is This Easy To Figure Him Out...Why Do So ManyWomen Still Struggle?

Common sense is anything but common. Just because something can be easily understood doesn’t mean it’s widely understood – think of how many accidents in all sectors of life could be avoided if that were the case!

Most women are blind to the truth, and to make matters worse,when faced with just how infuriatingly simple the answer is, they become indignant and try to conduct damage control with all kinds of excuses.

While it’s unfortunate that the excuses are so common, it’s not really like these women can be entirely blamed. Having the sudden realization that what you thought was mutual love is actually unrequited love can be very painful, sometimes even traumatizing.

We’re talking about the kind of heartbreak here that can legitimately put some young women off of dating entirely, for life. That’s no joke. It’s natural to seek the shelter of denial and excuses, but that’s not what I wrote this to help you do – I wrote this guide in order to lead you to answers.

I know that it can be unbearably terrifying to explore the idea that you’ve been living a lie of a love life, but if you do have to come to that realization, then it’s honestly better sooner than later.

To spare yourself all of the hassle and pain of the future, you’vegot to get steel in your nerves and take what might be the bitter medicine of the present. Don’t do what a lot of women dowhen they come to this crossroad between truth and comfort: giving him the benefit of the doubt just to prolong things.

Here are some easily comprehended examples of giving a man the benefit of the doubt when, instead, you should be working out alternatives:

11

When men truly feel ready to commit to you once and for all, even the meekest of them can suddenly get overcome by a courage that just about possesses them to take action.

True love has the power to override common sense and hesitation like an avalanche over pebbles. Even if he were shy at first, if the feelings are real, then he would have eventually found his own way to telegraph them.

Shyness is all too convenient of a justification for non-communication, so never resort to that as an actual explanationwhen you’ve exhausted all other possible answers.

Wouldn’t it just be so convenient if there were always a good reason for people to never to get back to those who are waiting

12

on them? Every excuse that anyone’s ever made about not calling would automatically be valid, and there’d be no need to question them even once.

This process is about freeing yourself from the delusion of excuses, though, so unfortunately, we’re not going to take the easy route. We all have things to do, and if we have nothing to do, we’ve got unlimited leverage to do whatever we want. He has the ability to prioritize, and he isn’t prioritizing you.

If you were really important enough to him to think about spending a life with, then he would find a way to incorporate you into that life in any way that he can. If he can’t even spare the time for a phone call, then even if he was interested, how would he ever actually have time for you at all?

Don’t allow yourself to be kept on-call like an afterthought on somebody’s tedious to-do list. Relationships are all about the balance of power between two people who are involved, and when you sit up waiting, you’re sacrificing all of your power in the equation before even GETTING involved.

This is one of the most severe cases of denial that I hope I can assist you in avoiding at all cost, because it is also sadly one of the most common of all.

I’ve already made a point of distinguishing between a man’s words and actions- well, when a man says something hurtful to

13

you, then you also need to interpret that as an action.

It’s one thing to simply speak words, but when hurtful words have been spoken, then he has taken the action of attacking your identity.

Men are going to treat you in the ways that you give off the impression of accepting. If you wait around and expect him to eventually lay off of hurtful comments, then all you’re really doing is enabling and reinforcing the habit.

Allowing yourself to be talked down to is no better than self-harm. Even though the words are not physical blows, the effects that they have on you can easily create unseen fissures that can rupture and crack a person’s peace of mind if left unchecked for too long.

Here’s the real truth behind hurtful words – no matter what he says the intentions are, if he speaks them, he is not consideringyour feelings at all. There’s a difference between hurtful words and honesty – the truth may be hurtful itself, but the words never have to be intentional attacks.

If you allow him to speak without any consideration of your feelings whatsoever, then essentially, you’ve forsaken your own care for your feelings as well.

Seeing as you’re reading this guide, you clearly care about yourown mental state to some extent – knowing that, don’t allow your mental state to be compromised for nothing more than some excuse you can make for your character to get attacked without any consequence.

Millions of women around the world are so complacent about getting talked down to that, eventually, they actually start to believe the hurtful slander thrown at them. The things said about them by abusive men are not suggestions for bettering themselves, but direct assaults on their value.

When your self worth is damaged, then you go down a path of becoming your own worst enemy in more than one way. Allow

14

yourself to believe that hurtful words define you, and you’ll continually attract more men who are inclined to saying the same things that made you miserable as the last.

If your man truly cares about you, then he will neither do nor say anything that serves no other purpose than to tear you down. He may not always say the right thing, but he certainly won’t take it upon himself to treat you as a person that doesn’t deserve respect.

Anger is not justification for cruelty. Every single person, regardless of their natural temperament, gets angry now and then – it’s not about being angry or not being angry, but how a person channels their anger that defines them.

A man who cares about you will attempt finding a way to channel his frustration in a way that still leaves you able to understand that he cares. If a man is constantly saying hurtful things without any remorse at all, then you’ve got to be straight– he does not care, and likely never will.

The number one thing holding back so many women who are frustrated with their love lives is the issue of over complicating

15

a lack of clarity. You might hypothesize that shyness, illness, homesickness, or any other thing on the planet could be holdinga man back from confessing his feelings – ultimately, it’s pointless.

I’ll reiterate it as many times as necessary: if a man legitimately has the kind of feelings for you with potential to blossom into a legitimate relationship, he’s going to actually let you know at some point. A man has absolutely nothing to gain out of keeping you guessing for weeks on end.

A man who is legitimately interested in you is likely worried about what would happen if he didn’t act quickly enough. Chances are that he’s thinking about whether or not another man might actually step up and win you over while he’s still wrestling with his own inner dialog – this will be his worst nightmare.

Knowing that he’s possibly racing against the clock, an interested man will do everything in his power to ensure that hedoesn’t miss his chance just wondering about whether or not it’s the right time. Society has trained men to take the initiative in going after women they’re interested in.

It’s not to say that he will outright drop down on one knee and propose to you out of the blue, but you can bet that he won’t be content to just stand idly by and watch his chance to be withyou slip away without at least putting some effort into letting you know that he’d like to try getting to know you a lot better.

If he’s interested, he will do and say things that explicitly communicate his level of interest. You will never have to sit down and speculate upon whether or not a truly interested manhas done something to show you that he’s smitten. Not very many men are subtle, and so if he drops a hint, it will likely be a very obvious one.

If you aren’t getting a clear-as-day signal that a man wants to

16

start something with you, then chances are the sign doesn’t exist. It may be disheartening to realize that he’s not as interested as you thought he might be, but it’s better to know that than to waste your time.

This is yet another classic situation that millions of hopeless misled women find themselves in every single day. Men and women alike make this mistake, and it’s one of the worst of all that you can shoot yourself in the foot with. A man enjoying sexwith you does not mean that he actually has feelings for you.

His intentions may or may not be nefarious, but nevertheless, chances are that you are little more than a sex object to him if that’s the only thing he’s ever interested in actually spending time with you to do. It may seem harmless to him, but if you allow yourself to get too emotionally invested, you could wind up destroying yourself.

Never, under any circumstances, let yourself think that it’s only a matter of time until his feelings of lust turn into something substantial and wholesome. People have been trying for thousands of years to make physical consummation translate into romantic strength, and to this day, it has yet to actually

17

work out for them.

A genuine romance can be enhanced my lovemaking, that muchis true – however, the feelings have to precede the lovemaking itself. Sex without any feelings is simply sex, and the nerves of his and your own body will not be able to tell the difference when they’re being actively stimulated in the act.

Even if you’re feeling waves upon waves of emotion when the two of you make love, those feelings do not indicate nor are they necessitated by the simple act of physical consummation –lots of women are so convinced of the otherwise, however, that they will legitimately waste over half of their lives just waiting on a real change.

If you value your sanity, you won’t become another one of the women who traps themselves in the delusion of mistaking lust for love. Lust is not love - If you need to look in the mirror and say it to yourself ten times, then by all means, get right to it.

The dangerous thing about this particular mistake is the fact that it can be exacerbated by a very real physiological addiction. Not everyone is aware of this, but sex addiction is a very real thing. You can be addicted to the sensation of being inbed with another person as much as a smoking addiction and not even know it.

It’s not to say that you’re a bona fide addict right now, but if you’re not careful about drawing the fine lines between love andlust, you may wind up subconsciously lying to yourself for no other reason than to continue justifying your compulsive need to continue a physical relationship – even if it emotionally cripples you for life.

It’s an extremely sad scenario, but an entirely avoidable one.

18

Make the pact with yourself to never assume that there might be something real based only on your carnal relations. You can help yourself not be a sex object by simply not giving yourself up for sex too early.

When a woman opens herself up to sex with a man for the first time every early on, he immediately sees her as slightly weak in resolve – this is inevitable. Even if the man doesn’t outright say it, if he doesn’t have to work hard to get in bed with a girl, he’s not going to see her as being as valuable as a woman who takes actual time.

If you think it’s hard already to see if a man has feelings for youor not, then you’ll find it downright impossible if you’ve made it so that he value you less as a person from the outset. By givingsex up early, you’re not providing enough time to see if he’s actually invested in your personality enough without a sexual incentive.

Do not trap yourself into the circular mode of thought in which you think you love what you have so much that you’ll just wait for him to get serious. The fact that you’re waiting for something more serious means that, objectively, there is something more than what you have that you’re after.

As long as you submit it to the circle of denial and delay, you’ll be on the road to destruction – prevent this cycle before it can even initiate by making a pledge to avoid letting something like sex become the number-one supporting pillar to your idea of what can constitute a legitimate relationship.

19

When he is in a relationship but also flirts with otherwomen...

Everything that I’ve spoken to you about the transparency of a man’s true interest in a woman culminates into the heart of this mistake. If a man is making clear flirtatious signs towards other women, it means he thinks that his options are still open – even if he’s still technically committed to you.

You have to be wary of the fact that being in a relationship doesnot shut off a man or woman’s hormones. Though you may have taken the steps to establish something that appears legitimate, your man can and will still be stimulated by the sights and sounds of other women besides you – the key is what he does about it.

A man who legitimately cares for you enough to spend the rest of his life with you will make a conscious effort to protect the sanctity of your commitment – this means not openly flirting with other women in front of you, even if the other woman encourages it.

20

Do you know what one of the biggest mistakes that people make with puppies is? Your man is clearly not your pet, and youcan’t control him, but I’m going to relate the times that he openly flirts with other women the times that a puppy decides to start teething on its owner’s things.

When the puppy is still small and fuzzy, most people find the nibbling too cute to complain about. Even when the puppy chews directly on their bodies, the fact that it’s so small and tickles them causes them to refrain from getting concerned about the behavior.

In a similar fashion, lots of women are inclined to write off theirmen’s flirtatious behavior as a simple show of playfulness. The man’s flirtatious nature may be what drew her to him in the very first place, and so she’s become too accustomed to the charm to really feel any kind of negativity about it.

Blissfully writing off when your man flirts with other women will only be easy before the relationship has had time to mature. Just like a living organism, like a puppy, a relationship is born and grows. Things that used to be little become big, and things that used to be innocuous become surprisingly serious, surprisingly quickly.

Naturally, a puppy isn’t a puppy forever. Eventually, the fuzzy little chewer will become a much bigger chewer. It’s not cute anymore when the puppy’s jaws turn into a dog’s jaws, capable of outright destroying what it gets ahold of. Those nibbles on the finger will not tickle anymore – they will hurt, and they can be injurious.

In the same vein, your man’s flirtatious nature won’t be as easyto manage when the relationship ages past its “puppy love” phase. When the two of you have been together for a significantamount of time, naturally, you’re going to start having some slightly stronger ideas about the real foundation of your bond

21

together.

If your man continues to be just as flirty as he was with everyone when the two of you first met, then it’s not going to be fun – chances are that it isn’t fun right now, if you’re going through it. You may have thought it was harmless, but eventually, those little flirty nibbles are going to have potential to become something you don’t want.

Remember, men are going to model their behavior around you in a way that reflects what they think they can get away with. Ifyou keep on acting as though flirting around with other women is nothing at all to be concerned with, then you will be continually conditioning him to see it as a nonfactor.

Let’s go back to the puppy example. If the puppy matures into a dog without ever having its chewing habit addressed, then theowners will have indirectly psychologically conditioned their dogto see chewing as something that’s completely okay.

Even when it becomes big and strong enough to tear leather and break bones, because the owners never took any steps to discourage the habit when its jaws were harmless, the dog will have no grounds to believe that there’s any reason not to chew on people as an adult dog -needless to say, this is highly problematic.

Now consider a relationship with a man in which you’ve never spoken up about his highly flirtatious nature. If you’ve given absolutely no signs that you’re bothered with the fact that he flirts with other women, then he’ll have essentially gotten the message that you’re not at all bothered by the fact that he’s open to other women.

We may also consider the chance that you have taken steps to tell him that the flirting makes you feel bad, and yet he continues doing it despite your discontent – in this scenario, themessage really is as clear as day: he doesn’t care about what

22

you think, and waiting on him to start caring is just like sitting down next to a bomb.

Plenty of women are constantly bothered by how much their men express interest in other women directly in front of them, but they get to thinking that if they invest enough into the relationship, nothing can go wrong – that is absolutely not true.

As long as he continues to flirt without any sign of resistance from you, then he will be getting the message that his options can remain indefinitely open. He may not take it as a sign that you’ll be completely fine with cheating, but you can sure that when his loyalty is tested, he will notresist the temptation as strongly as you’d like.

Right here and now, you need to accept the fact that an openly flirtatious man is a fundamentally uncommitted man. If you feelthat you are committed to an openly flirtatious man, then the truth is that you are actually involved in a one-sided commitment.

A one-sided commitment isn’t really a relationship at all- it’s a false pretense and a trap. If you don’t accept the fact that your man’s flirting is a sign of bad things to come, then you’ve to be prepared for a seriously unpleasant surprise in the very near future.

Things to Remember

The lengths that some women will go to in order to perform damage control for their emotionally uninvolved men can seem downright unbelievable, but it is very real. When trapped in the veil of our own emotions, we are unable to see anything for what it objectivelyis in reality until we are free from the emotions altogether.

When a woman is excited enough about a guy to want to be with him, you could almost compare it to a legitimate form of

23

intoxication.

The pleasure receptors and reward centers in the brain are going absolutely haywire, and she can become less capable of analyzingthings than she is of simply reacting to the emotional stimuli.

When analytical ability is compromised, even the most senseless of situations can seem perfectly acceptable if there’s any implication of an emotional reward for not questioning it – in the case of relationships, the reward for women in denial is the continued blissful ignorance of living in a seemingly flawlessrelationship.

The depth of your emotions can be so frighteningly deep that, ifleft unchecked, you might come up with excuses that even you don’t believe in order to turn a seriously bad situation into a favorable on – note, favorable doesn’t mean that it’s not bad, but just that it’s preferable to facing the objective reality of what’s actually happened.

Women who go to amazing lengths to ignore the obvious signs of an emotionally uncommitted man are, essentially, lying to themselves both by omission and directly as well.

The only way to protect yourself from the lies that your emotions may coerce you into when you’re in the thick of infatuation is to be proactive. Before you allow the words to sway your accurate picture of what is actually happening, you’ve got to ensure that is isn’t the words that you’re depending on to get the truth.

Once again, we’re focusing on the actions and not the words. Words can be twisted around, but when you focus on the actions, the objective truth is simply harder to ignore and convolute. You need the truth, and actions will always speak it much more loudly and clearly than words can.

24

When you make a habit out of focusing your perspective on the things that a man does instead of what he says, you’ll become the kind of person who is almost impossible to sweet-talk and even less likely to kid herself at her own expense.

What You Must Remember

Men are not that complicated – Just easy to misunderstand

Men, believe it or not, are actually not as super complicated as a lot of women tend to make them out to be. For all of the trouble that some women go through just trying to understand men, as we’ve gone over here, the source of this confusion is generally just what happens when you overanalyze something simple.

When a man does something as simple and straightforward as not calling you back, then the fact is that he did not call you back – instead of accepting this, however, a lot of women will instead feel inclined to personally make up all kinds of excuses and possible justifications for what he’s done.

When you make excuses for the man, you’re just compounding your already-existing stress of what he’s already done. The excuses are unnecessary, because the story of what has happened has already been clearly reflected in his actions.

Study the man’s actions as closely as you can, ignore the words, and what may be most important of all, do not let your own words delude you into thinking that there’s nothing at all totake note of when you’ve been hurt or ignored.

The sober observation of man’s actions will give you one of the

25

most valuable gifts of all when it comes to dating: clarity. As long you make sure to always use what you see a man do as a window into clarity, you will never be confused again.

Never get tricked by his words

Here’s the scenario: a man could say hundreds of thousands of things to you, and at the end of the day, not a single of one those things could actually be what he means. Never, under anycircumstances, take what a man says at face value.

Whenever you read or hear anything, there are two meanings that you can analyze: the meaning above the words, and the meaning beneath the words. The meaning above the words symbolizes the denotative meaning of the words themselves, whereas the meaning beneath the words symbolizes their true implications.

It’s the meaning beneath the words that you want to concern yourself with; the meaning above the words, nine times out of ten, is nothing but a red herring. The meaning beneath the words will keep you from having to wade through what the sound of the words suggests, leading you right to what the intentions are.

You know what the best way to getting to the meaning beneath the words is? It’s simple: it’s to avoid reaching up high for a bunch of explanations about what he could mean, and instead, to stay grounded and focus only on his actions.

Commitment is nothing without a follow-through

Lots of women mistakenly see a man’s decision to commit as the end of the game, but in truth, it’s only half of the entire picture. A man deciding to commit is legitimately a big deal, butunless he actually follows through on that commitment, the commitment itself is no better than just a hollow promise.

26

Don’t be so caught up in the euphoria of a man making a promise that you forget the importance of assuring that that the promise actually carries weight – once again, this is where action will emerge as the decisive factor in what really matters when it comes to what he says to you.

Commitment is the key to his character

If you want to know the full extent of a man’s true character, then there really is only one thing that you need to concern yourself with – the extent to which he follows through on the things that he commits to.

The commitments that you can use to get a full idea of a man’s character do not have to be directly related to you yourself – they can be minor commitments to small things that he says he’ll do, even if it’s only something like a house project.

You may be wondering what something like house chores can do with a man’s true character, but it’s actually quite simple. A man who has solid character will always do exactly what he says he’s going to do. Following through on his word will show that he’s the type of person who values what his words communicate.

When you can be confident in the fact that a man’s actions and words are in complete harmony, you can go forth with full confidence that he’s a man who is more likely to commit to much bigger and more meaningful things like relationships.

So you see now how paying attention to small actions, early on,can give you a reliable window into a man’s character beforethestakes become too high.

Break Away from the Benefit of the Doubt

One of the worst errors that you can make is deciding to give a man the benefit of the doubt more than one time. You might

27

think that you’re being generous, but in reality, the only thing you’re doing is cheating yourself.

If you want a man who respects and honors you, then you mustrespect and honor your own right to protecting your boundaries. When you set a personal boundary, you need to be completely clear about where it lies – whether it’s related to sexual openness, religion, or even just plain manners.

Once you set these boundaries, you need to stick to the principle of giving a man one and only one chance to cross that line. If he crosses it, then you are under absolutely no obligation to give him the leverage to cross it once more.

Remember what I said about the process of psychologically conditioning a man through inaction?

Just like how a puppy will grow up thinking that chewing fingersis okay if you brush it off, a man that you continually give the benefit of the doubt will eventually come to think that there’s really nothing at all that you even have to doubt him for.

What’s worse, when he finally fails you one too many times, you’ll be frustrated with yourself for letting it go too far. You’ll open yourself up to all kinds of unneeded drama by trying to allow a clear transgression of your personal boundaries get crossed more than any reasonable person should.

Figuring out a man’s character early on is, without a doubt, oneof the best ways to see to it that he isn’t the type who’s going to continually fail you in the future. By seeing how good he is atactually living up to his own expectations, you’ll have a good idea of just how likely he is to live up to his promises to you.

Everything that we’ve discussed here keeps the man’s actions at the core of your focus. His words are merely the wrapping ona package that contains what the constitution of he’s made of as a man, and his actions are what determine the contents of

28

that package itself.

It’s not that plenty of women don’t make legitimate attempts toread their men – it’s that they go about it in an entirely incorrect fashion, and fabricate the easily observable truth in favor of an ideal situation that can be spun out of spoken wordsand even a complete failure to communicate.

Remember: align your eyes with his actions, and the fog of fickle words, tense emotions, and contradictions will never cloud your vision!

29