advanced negotiation communication & presentation skills

Advanced Negotiation Communication & Presentation

Skills

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Negotiating Skills


What is Negotiation?• Negotiation is a method by which people settle

differences. It is a process by which compromise or agreement is reached while avoiding argument.

• In any disagreement, individuals understandably aim to achieve the best possible outcome for their position (or perhaps an organization they represent).

• However, the principles of fairness, seeking mutual benefit and maintaining a relationship are the keys to a successful outcome.


What is Negotiation?

Specific forms of negotiation are used in many situations: international affairs, the legal system, government, industrial disputes or domestic relationships as examples.

However, general negotiation skills can be learned and applied in a wide range of activities. Negotiation skills can be of great benefit in resolving any differences that arise between you and others.

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Why Negotiate?

It is inevitable that, from time-to-time, conflict and disagreement will arise as the differing needs, wants, aims and beliefs of people are brought together. Without negotiation, such conflicts may lead to argument and resentment resulting in one or all of the parties feeling dissatisfied.

The point of negotiation is to try to reach agreements without causing future barriers to communications.


Stages of NegotiationIn order to achieve a desirable outcome, it may be useful

to follow a structured approach to negotiation. For example, in a work situation a meeting may need to be arranged in which all parties involved can come together. The process of negotiation includes the following stages:1. Preparation.2. Discussion.3. Clarification of goals.4. Negotiation towards a WIN-WIN situation.5. Agreement.6. Implementation of a course of action.


Facts About Negotiation


Approaches to Negotiation

Negotiation typically manifests itself with a trained negotiator acting on behalf of a particular organization or position. It can be compared to mediation where a neutral third party listens to each side's arguments and attempts to help craft an agreement between the parties. It is also related to arbitration which, as with a legal proceeding, both sides make an argument as to the merits of their "case" and then the arbitrator decides the outcome for both parties.There are two opposite types of negotiation: Integrative and Distributive.


Distributive Negotiation

The term distributive means; there is a giving out; or the scattering of things. By its mere nature, there is a limit or finite amount in the thing being distributed or divided amongst the people involved. Hence, this type of negotiation is often referred to as 'The Fixed Pie'. There is only so much to go around, but the proportion to be distributed is limited but also variable.A distributive negotiation usually involves people who have never had a previous interactive relationship, nor are they likely to do so again in the near future. Simple everyday examples would be buying a car or a house.


Integrative Negotiation The word integrative means to join several parts into a

whole. Conceptually, this implies some cooperation, or a joining of forces to achieve something together. Usually involves a higher degree of trust and a forming of a relationship. Both parties want to walk away feeling they've achieved something which has value by getting what each wants. Ideally, it is a twofold process.

Integrative negotiation process generally involves some form or combination of making value for value concessions, in conjunction with creative problem solving. Generally, this form of negotiation is looking down the road, to them forming a long term relationship to create mutual gain. It is often described as the win-win scenario.


There are many different ways to segment negotiation to gain a greater understanding of the essential parts. One view of negotiation involves three basic elements: process, behavior and substance. The process refers to how the parties negotiate: the context of the negotiations, the parties to the negotiations, the tactics used by the parties, and the sequence and stages in which all of these play out. Behavior refers to the relationships among these parties, the communication between them and the styles they adopt. The substance refers to what the parties negotiate over: the agenda, the issues (positions and - more helpfully - interests), the options, and the agreement(s) reached at the end.

Another view of negotiation comprises 4 elements: strategy, process and tools, and tactics. Strategy comprises the top level goals - typically including relationship and the final outcome. Processes and tools include the steps that will be followed and the roles taken in both preparing for and negotiating with the other parties. Tactics include more detailed statements and actions and responses to others' statements and actions. Some add to this persuasion and influence, asserting that these have become integral to modern day negotiation success, and so should not be omitted.


The Advocate's Approach

In the advocacy approach, a skilled negotiator usually serves as advocate for one party to the negotiation and attempts to obtain the most favorable outcomes possible for that party. In this process the negotiator attempts to determine the minimum outcome(s) the other party is (or parties are) willing to accept, then adjusts their demands accordingly. A "successful" negotiation in the advocacy approach is when the negotiator is able to obtain all or most of the outcomes their party desires, but without driving the other party to permanently break off negotiations, unless the best alternative to a negotiated agreement (BATNA) is acceptable.


Other Negotiation Styles

Shell identified five styles/responses to negotiation. Individuals can often have strong dispositions towards numerous styles; the style used during a negotiation depends on the context and the interests of the other party, among other factors. In addition, styles can change over time.• Accommodating: Individuals who enjoy solving the other

party’s problems and preserving personal relationships. Accommodators are sensitive to the emotional states, body language, and verbal signals of the other parties. They can, however, feel taken advantage of in situations when the other party places little emphasis on the relationship.


• Avoiding: Individuals who do not like to negotiate and don’t do it unless warranted. When negotiating, avoiders tend to defer and dodge the confrontational aspects of negotiating; however, they may be perceived as tactful and diplomatic.

• Collaborating: Individuals who enjoy negotiations that involve solving tough problems in creative ways. Collaborators are good at using negotiations to understand the concerns and interests of the other parties. They can, however, create problems by transforming simple situations into more complex ones.


• Competing: Individuals who enjoy negotiations because they present an opportunity to win something. Competitive negotiators have strong instincts for all aspects of negotiating and are often strategic. Because their style can dominate the bargaining process, competitive negotiators often neglect the importance of relationships.

• Compromising: Individuals who are eager to close the deal by doing what is fair and equal for all parties involved in the negotiation. Compromisers can be useful when there is limited time to complete the deal; however, compromisers often unnecessarily rush the negotiation process and make concessions too quickly.


Adversary or Partner?Clearly, these two basically different ways of negotiating will require

different approaches. To ignore this can be devastating for the result, but it all too often happens. Because in the distributive approach each negotiator is battling for the largest possible piece of the pie, it may be quite appropriate - within certain limits - to regard the other side more as an adversary than a partner and to take a somewhat harder line. This would however be less appropriate if the idea were to hammer out an arrangement that is in the best interest of both sides. If both win, it's only of secondary importance which one has the greater advantage. A good agreement is not one with maximum gain, but optimum gain. This does not by any means suggest that we should give up our own advantage for nothing. But a cooperative attitude will regularly pay dividends. What is gained is not at the expense of the other, but with him.


Bad Faith NegotiationBad faith is a concept in negotiation theory whereby parties pretend

to reason to reach settlement, but have no intention to do so, for example, one political party may pretend to negotiate, with no intention to compromise, for political effect.

Inherent bad faith model in international relations and political psychologyBad faith in political science and political psychology refers to

negotiating strategies in which there is no real intention to reach compromise, or a model of information processing. The "inherent bad faith model" of information processing is a theory in political psychology that was first put forth by Ole Holsti to explain the relationship between John Foster Dulles’ beliefs and his model of information processing. It is the most widely studied model of one's opponent. A state is presumed to be implacably hostile, and contra-indicators of this are ignored. They are dismissed as propaganda ploys or signs of weakness. Examples are John Foster Dulles’ position regarding the Soviet Union, or Hamas's position on the state of Israel


Emotion In NegotiationEmotions play an important part in the negotiation

process, although it is only in recent years that their effect is being studied. Emotions have the potential to play either a positive or negative role in negotiation. During negotiations, the decision as to whether or not to settle, rests in part on emotional factors. Negative emotions can cause intense and even irrational behavior, and can cause conflicts to escalate and negotiations to break down, but may be instrumental in attaining concessions. On the other hand, positive emotions often facilitate reaching an agreement and help to maximize joint gains, but can also be instrumental in attaining concessions. Positive and negative discrete emotions can be strategically displayed to influence task and relational outcomes and may play out differently across cultural boundaries.


Positive Affect In NegotiationEven before the negotiation process starts, people in a positive mood have more

confidence, and higher tendencies to plan to use a cooperative strategy. During the negotiation, negotiators who are in a positive mood tend to enjoy the interaction more, show less contentious behavior, use less aggressive tactics and more cooperative strategies. This in turn increases the likelihood that parties will reach their instrumental goals, and enhance the ability to find integrative gains. Indeed, compared with negotiators with negative or natural affectivity, negotiators with positive affectivity reached more agreements and tended to honor those agreements more.Those favorable outcomes are due to better decision making processes, such as flexible thinking, creative problem solving, respect for others' perspectives, willingness to take risks and higher confidence.Post negotiation positive affect has beneficial consequences as well. It increases satisfaction with achieved outcome and influences one’s desire for future interactions. The PA aroused by reaching an agreement facilitates the dyadic relationship, which result in affective commitment that sets the stage for subsequent interactions.

PA also has its drawbacks: it distorts perception of self performance, such that performance is judged to be relatively better than it actually is. Thus, studies involving self reports on achieved outcomes might be biased.


Negative Affect In NegotiationNegative affect has detrimental effects on various stages in the

negotiation process. Although various negative emotions affect negotiation outcomes, by far the most researched is anger. Angry negotiators plan to use more competitive strategies and to cooperate less, even before the negotiation starts. These competitive strategies are related to reduced joint outcomes.During negotiations, anger disrupts the process by reducing the level of trust, clouding parties' judgment, narrowing parties' focus of attention and changing their central goal from reaching agreement to retaliating against the other side. Angry negotiators pay less attention to opponent’s interests and are less accurate in judging their interests, thus achieve lower joint gains. Moreover, because anger makes negotiators more self-centered in their preferences, it increases the likelihood that they will reject profitable offers.


Opponents who really get angry (or cry, or otherwise lose control) are more likely to make errors: make sure they are in your favor.Anger doesn’t help in achieving negotiation goals either: it reduces joint gains and does not help to boost personal gains, as angry negotiators don’t succeed in claiming more for themselves. Moreover, negative emotions lead to acceptance of settlements that are not in the positive utility function but rather have a negative utility. However, expression of negative emotions during negotiation can sometimes be beneficial: legitimately expressed anger can be an effective way to show one's commitment, sincerity, and needs. Moreover, although NA reduces gains in integrative tasks, it is a better strategy than PA in distributive tasks (such as zero-sum). In his work on negative affect arousal and white noise, Seidner found support for the existence of a negative affect arousal mechanism through observations regarding the devaluation of speakers from other ethnic origins." Negotiation may be negatively affected, in turn, by submerged hostility toward an ethnic or gender group.


Competitive VS. Collaborative Negotiations


Competitive Negotiations


Competitive NegotiationIn competitive negotiation, the approach is to

treat the process as a competition that is to be won or lost.Zero sum

The basic assumption of competitive negotiation is that it is a 'zero sum game'. That is, the people involved believe that there is a fixed amount to be gained which both people desire, and if one person gains then the other person loses. It is like arguing over a pie: if one person gets a piece of the pie then the other person does not.


Win-loseThe outcome of zero-sum negotiation is

defined in terms of winners and losers. One person gets what they want and feels smug (or maybe a bit guilty), while the other person loses out and feels cheated or a failure.

Zero sum


Substance only

• In competitive negotiation, the substance of what is being traded is the only real concern, and dealings are done in a hard and 'what I can get' way.

• A way of thinking zero-sum is to translate everything into financial terms. Thus, for example, if you are buying or selling a car, you think first in terms of its resale value. The only perceived negotiable for many competitive negotiators is price.


Substance onlyUnimportant relationship• In competitive negotiation, the relationship between the

people is unimportant. They do not care about one another or what the other thinks about them. This typically occurs in one-off sales where 'caveat emptor' is a key rule.

• To show concern for the other person is to show weakness that may be taken advantage of. This can lead to trickery where false concern is shown, and reactions where any show of concern is perceived as likely trickery (and can lead to attempts of two-faced double-dealing).


Competitive StrategyCompetitive strategies that seek substantial gains focus

on hard exchange and may descend into deceptive double-dealing.Hard exchange• In a hard exchange, what is being exchanged is clear and

above-board and both sides agree to the deal. There is no trickery or pressure and the players agree to the exchange, albeit with one person potentially more satisfied than the other.

• The hard exchange is like a fair fight. Both players accept the rules and play cleanly (although perhaps based more on a respect for the rules than respect for the other person). This may be encouraged by potential punishment for double dealing, such as in the litigation that sellers may face.


Competitive StrategyDouble dealing

The alternative method of competitive negotiation is to throw the rulebook out of the window and resort to tricky approaches such as aggression and deception. Either party may tell lies and use verbal or even physical persuasive methods. We are all bound by internal values and the level of trickery or physicality used will vary along a spectrum. Although we may find this distasteful, we all know that it happens and many of us have been less than fully truthful in our negotiations.


Collaborative Negotiations

Just negotiating collaboratively is not enough to win together; however, without collaborative negotiation we will surely lose together. As such we also share the other aspects that contribute towards achieving success with collaborative negotiation. These include: addressing the factors that affect collaboration internally and externally; developing a method for effective partner selection before the negotiation even begins; and agreeing how best to design the relationship for effective delivery of commitments and relationship success once the negotiation concludes.


Collaboration is easy to say, but not so easy in practice

The Oxford English Dictionary offers a simple definition of collaboration: ‘to work jointly’. I would build on that from a business perspective to describe collaboration as: ‘to work jointly towards an agreed goal or objective’. At a general level, human beings aim to be collaborative. But why is it that within and across organizations people find collaboration so difficult? Why is it that the effort expended in collaborative talks frequently shows little positive return in practice?


Everyone knows the forces pushing towards increased organizational collaboration continue to grow. They also know that customers want solutions not products; that the pace of change is increasing; that organizations must focus on what they do well and work with others that offer complementary assets and capabilities. In Wikinomics[1] the authors wax lyrical about the future of collaboration. It’s easy to talk about collaboration but knowing ‘how’ to do it well is a different story. In my book Alliance Brand: Fulfilling The Promise of Partnering [2] it shows organizations ‘how’ to win with partnering and alliances, where being able to collaborate is one of the seven key elements that make up an organization's capability to partner.

[1] Tapscott, Don and Wiliams, Anthony D Wikinomics How Mass Collaboration Changes Everything, Atlantic Books, 2006.[2] Darby, Mark Alliance Brand: Fulfilling the Promise of Partnering John Wiley & Sons 2006.


Factors Affecting CollaborationWe believe that all negotiators act with positive intent; it

might not be their fault that a relationship falls apart at the time or later in life, or maybe they are just not aware that terms struck could actually cause conflict in operation. There are usually bigger factors at play, many of which will be explicit, but some of which may be implicitly driving behaviors and are therefore harder to recognize. My work with organizations both large and small suggests there is a common set of ‘factors affecting collaboration’. These contribute towards an organization's culture and must all be pointing in the right direction for it to be able to collaborate well internally, and must complement (not conflict with) the organizations that it wishes to work with externally (see Figure 1).


BT Global Services (BTGS) is a great example of an organization addressing the factors affecting collaboration as it seeks to double its revenues from partnering over the next three years. Steve Cash is General Manager for BTGS Systems Integrators & Channel Partners (SI&CP) and the person responsible for the BTGS Partner of Choice Program, the initiative that makes the partnering aspirations a reality. Steve and his team have adopted ALLIANTIST methods and are already seeing positive results; over the past 12 months BTGS has addressed about 30 factors that were affecting collaboration; both internal and external. These include:


• Clarifying its strategy, purpose and interest in the context of any future partnering activity and expecting the same of its partners (including sharing tools and methods with partners to help them make better decisions on collaborative intent with BTGS);

• A change in leadership of BTGS where the new messages firmly emphasize collaboration (internally and externally) as a key means of achieving results;

• Making organization structure changes to enable verticals (BTGS customer lines of business; for example, government) to collaborate alongside SI&CP teams to win more business together instead of competing for the same opportunities;

• Introducing PAM™ software to enable effective partner search, selection and negotiation for teams as well as a comprehensive governance process to ensure that the total portfolio of BTGS partners is considered for each opportunity;


• Introducing partnering training and development initiatives for all staff alongside the software tools that together equip users to collaborate more effectively — this includes C-level (CEO, COO, SVP and other senior decision makers) Partner Vision programs with selected partners and the articulation and expression of an ‘SI&CP Way’, where role modeling behaviors are rewarded and old ways of working are consigned to Room 101.

• Significant changes to reward structures — whereas formerly vertical teams and SI&CP were incented to compete, now they are rewarded for collaboration — pay plans, targets and models to ensure a ‘channel neutral’ effect on meeting the customer need have been introduced; and

• There is a range of consequences too — failure to share information early on may lead to loss of financial bonuses, and the organization has started to make its intentions known for those who choose not to embrace the new methods and behaviors.


Exploring


Barriers To Effective Communication & How To Overcome Them


Barriers to Effective Communication• There are many reasons why interpersonal

communications may fail. In many communications, the message (what is said) may not be received exactly the way the sender intended. It is, therefore, important that the communicator seeks feedback to check that their message is clearly understood.

• The skills of Active Listening, Clarification and Reflection may help but the skilled communicator also needs to be aware of the barriers to effective communication and how to avoid or overcome them.


There are many barriers to communication and these may occur at any stage in the communication process. Barriers may lead to your message becoming distorted and you therefore risk wasting both time and/or money by causing confusion and misunderstanding.

Effective communication involves overcoming these barriers and conveying a clear and concise message.


Common Barriers to Effective Communication

The use of jargon. Over-complicated, unfamiliar and/or technical terms.Emotional barriers and taboos. Some people may find it difficult to express their emotions and some topics may be completely 'off-limits' or taboo.Lack of attention, interest, distractions, or irrelevance to the receiver. (See our page Barriers to Effective Listening for more information).Differences in perception and viewpoint.Physical disabilities such as hearing problems or speech difficulties.


• Physical barriers to non-verbal communication. Not being able to see the non-verbal cues, gestures, posture and general body language can make communication less effective.

• Language differences and the difficulty in understanding unfamiliar accents.

• Expectations and prejudices which may lead to false assumptions or stereotyping. People often hear what they expect to hear rather than what is actually said and jump to incorrect conclusions.

• Cultural differences. The norms of social interaction vary greatly in different cultures, as do the way in which emotions are expressed. For example, the concept of personal space varies between cultures and between different social settings.


A Categorization of Barriers to Communication


Language BarriersClearly, language and linguistic ability may act as a barrier

to communication. However, even when communicating in the same language, the terminology used in a message may act as a barrier if it is not fully understood by the receiver(s). For example, a message that includes a lot of specialist jargon and abbreviations will not be understood by a receiver who is not familiar with the terminology used. Regional colloquialisms and expressions may be misinterpreted or even considered offensive. See our page: Effective Speaking for more information.


Psychological BarriersThe psychological state of the receiver will influence how the message

is received. For example, if someone has personal worries and is stressed, they may be preoccupied by personal concerns and not as receptive to the message as if they were not stressed. Stress management is an important personal skill that affects our interpersonal relationships. See our pages What is Stress? and Avoiding Stress for more information. Anger is another example of a psychological barrier to communication, when we are angry it is easy to say things that we may later regret and also to misinterpret what others are saying. See our pages: What is Anger?, Anger Management and Anger Management Therapy for more information. More generally people with low self-esteem may be less assertive and therefore may not feel comfortable communicating - they may feel shy about saying how they really feel or read negative sub-texts into messages they hear. Visit our pages on Improving Self-Esteem and Assertiveness for more information.


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• Physiological BarriersPhysiological barriers may result from the receiver’s

physical state: for example, a receiver with reduced hearing may not grasp to entirety of a spoken conversation especially if there is significant background noise.• Physical Barriers

An example of a physical barrier to communication is geographic distance between the sender and receiver(s). Communication is generally easier over shorter distances as more communication channels are available and less technology is required. Although modern technology often serves to reduce the impact of physical barriers, the advantages and disadvantages of each communication channel should be understood so that an appropriate channel can be used to overcome the physical barriers.


• Systematic BarriersSystematic barriers to communication may exist in structures

and organizations where there are inefficient or inappropriate information systems and communication channels, or where there is a lack of understanding of the roles and responsibilities for communication. In such organizations, individuals may be unclear of their role in the communication process and therefore not know what is expected of them.• Attitudinal Barriers

Attitudinal barriers are behaviors or perceptions that prevent people from communicating effectively. Attitudinal barriers to communication may result from personality conflicts, poor management, resistance to change or a lack of motivation. Effective receivers of messages should attempt to overcome their own attitudinal barriers to facilitate effective communication.


Nonverbal Communication


Introduction in Nonverbal Communication

Communication in general is process of sending and receiving messages that enables humans to share knowledge, attitudes, and skills. Although we usually identify communication with speech, communication is composed of two dimensions - verbal and nonverbal.

Nonverbal communication has been defined as communication without words. It includes apparent behaviors such as facial expressions, eyes, touching, and tone of voice, as well as less obvious messages such as dress, posture and spatial distance between two or more people.


Everything communicates,” including material objects, physical space, and time systems. Although verbal output can be turned off, nonverbal cannot. Even silence speaks.

No matter how one can try, one cannot not communicate. Activity or inactivity, words or silence all have message value: they influence others and these others, in turn, cannot not respond to these communications and are thus themselves communicating.


BODY MOVEMENTS, GESTURES AND POSTURES

Movements and gestures by the hands, arms, legs, and other parts of the body and face are the most pervasive types of nonverbal messages and the most difficult to control. It is estimated that there are over 200.000 physical signs capable of stimulating meaning in another person (some social scientists state even 700.000). For example, there are 23 distinct eyebrow movements, each capable of stimulating a different meaning.

Humans express attitudes toward themselves and vividly through body motions and posture. Bodies movements elucidate true messages about feeling that cannot be masked. Because such avenues of communication are visual, they travel much farther than spoken words and are unaffected by the presence of noise that interrupt, or cancels out speech.


People communicate by the way they walk, stand, and sit. We tend to be more relaxed with friends or when addressing those of lower status.Body orientation also indicates status or liking of the other individual. More direct orientation is related to a more positive attitude.

Body movements and postures alone have no exact meaning, but they can greatly support or reject the spoken word. It these two means of communication are dichotomized and contradict each other, some result will be a disordered image and most often the nonverbal will dominate.


GesturesCognitively, gestures operate to clarify,

contradict, or replace verbal messages. Gestures also serve an important function with regard to regulating the flow of conversation. For example, if a student is talking in class, single nods of the head from the teacher will likely cause that student to continue and perhaps elaborate.


PosturePostures as well as gestures are used to

indicate attitudes, status, affective moods, approval, deception, warmth, and other variables related to classroom interaction.

Ekman and Friesen (1967) have suggested that posture conveys gross or overall affect (liking), while specific emotions are communicated by more discreet, facial and body movements.


FACIAL EXPRESSION

The saying “A picture is worth a thousand words” well describes the meaning of facial expression. Facial appearance - including wrinkles, muscle tone, skin coloration, and eye color-offers enduring cues that reveal information about age, sex, race, ethnic origin, and status.


Varieties of Expressions• A less permanent second set of facial cues-including length of hair,

hairstyle, cleanliness, and facial hair-relate to an individual’s idea of beauty.

• A third group of facial markers are momentary expressions that signal that cause changes in the forehead, eyebrows, eyelids, cheeks, nose, lips, and chin, such as raising the eyebrows, wrinkling the brow, curling the lip.

• Some facial expressions are readily visible, while others are fleeting. Both types can positively or negatively reinforce the spoken word and convey cues concerning emotions and attitude.

• Next to words the human face is the primary source of information for

determining an individual’s internal feelings.


Face TalksFacial expressions may be unintentional or

intentional.The facial expression for fear is an example of

an involuntary gesture - people generally do not think of how to move facial muscles when truly frightened.

Facial expressions can also be voluntary, as when an individual wants deliberately to hide feelings for different reasons


Often people try to hide feelings and emotions behind masks. The frown, jutting chin, raise eyebrow, open mouth, and sneer are facial expressions that can betray and ultimately broadcast deception. All humans are capable of faking a happy or a sad face, a smile or a frown. I found interesting statement that the timing gives them away. They cannot determine how long to keep it or how quickly to let it go. Makes sense.


EYESThe most dominant and reliable features of the

face, the eyes, provide a constant channel of communication.

They can be shifty and evasive; convey hate, fear, and guilt; or express confidence, love, and support.


Referred to as “mirrors of the soul,” the eye serve as the major decision factor in interpreting the spoken words.

The eyes of the man converse as much as their tongues, with the advantage that the ocular dialect needs no dictionary, but is understood, all the world over. When the eye say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on eye.


What Is Effective Communication?


Effective Communication

Effective communication helps us better understand a person or situation and enables us to resolve differences, build trust and respect, and create environments where creative ideas, problem solving, affection, and caring can flourish. As simple as communication seems, much of what we try to communicate to others—and what others try to communicate to us—gets misunderstood, which can cause conflict and frustration in personal and professional relationships. By learning these effective communication skills, you can better connect with your spouse, kids, friends, and coworkers.


What is effective communication?• In the information age, we have to send, receive, and process huge numbers of

messages every day. But effective communication is about more than just exchanging information; it's also about understanding the emotion behind the information. Effective communication can improve relationships at home, work, and in social situations by deepening your connections to others and improving teamwork, decision-making, and problem solving. It enables you to communicate even negative or difficult messages without creating conflict or destroying trust. Effective communication combines a set of skills including nonverbal communication, attentive listening, the ability to manage stress in the moment, and the capacity to recognize and understand your own emotions and those of the person you’re communicating with.

• While effective communication is a learned skill, it is more effective when it’s spontaneous rather than formulaic. A speech that is read, for example, rarely has the same impact as a speech that’s delivered (or appears to be delivered) spontaneously. Of course, it takes time and effort to develop these skills and become an effective communicator. The more effort and practice you put in, the more instinctive and spontaneous your communication skills will become.


Effective communication• Skills #1: Listening

Listening is one of the most important aspects of effective communication. Successful listening means not just understanding the words or the information being communicated, but also understanding how the speaker feels about what they’re communicating.– Tips for effective listening

• Focus fully on the speaker• Avoid interrupting• Avoid seeming judgmental• Show your interest


• Skills #2: Nonverbal CommunicationWhen we communicate things that we care about, we

do so mainly using nonverbal signals. Wordless communication, or body language, includes facial expressions, body movement and gestures, eye contact, posture, the tone of your voice, and even your muscle tension and breathing. The way you look, listen, move, and react to another person tells them more about how you’re feeling than words alone ever can.

Developing the ability to understand and use nonverbal communication can help you connect with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build better relationships at home and work.


• Tips for improving how you read nonverbal communication– Practice observing people– Be aware of individual differences– Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group

• Tips for improving how to deliver nonverbal communication– Use nonverbal signals that match up with your words– Adjust your nonverbal signals according to the context– Use body language to convey positive feelings


• Skills #3: Managing stressIn small doses, stress can help you perform under pressure.

However, when stress becomes constant and overwhelming, it can hamper effective communication by disrupting your capacity to think clearly and creatively, and act appropriately. When you’re stressed, you’re more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior.

How many times have you felt stressed during a disagreement with your spouse, kids, boss, friends, or coworkers and then said or done something you later regretted? If you can quickly relieve stress and return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such regrets, but in many cases you’ll also help to calm the other person as well. It’s only when you’re in a calm, relaxed state that you'll be able to know whether the situation requires a response, or whether the other person’s signals indicate it would be better to remain silent.


• Quick stress relief for effective communication– Recognize when you’re becoming stressed– Take a moment to calm down before deciding to continue– Bring your senses to the rescue– Look for humor in the situation– Be willing to compromise– Agree to disagree


• Skills #4: Emotional awarenessEmotions play an important role in the way we communicate at home

and work. It’s the way you feel, more than the way you think, that motivates you to communicate or to make decisions. The way you react to emotionally driven, nonverbal cues affects both how you understand other people and how they understand you. If you are out of touch with your feelings, and don’t understand how you feel or why you feel that way, you’ll have a hard time communicating your feelings and needs to others. This can result in frustration, misunderstandings, and conflict. When you don’t address what’s really bothering you, you often become embroiled in petty squabbles instead—arguing with your spouse about how the towels should be hung, for example, or with a coworker about whose turn it is to restock the copier.


Emotional awareness provides you the tools needed for understanding both yourself and other people, and the real messages they are communicating to you. Although knowing your own feelings may seem simple, many people ignore or try to sedate strong emotions like anger, sadness, and fear. But your ability to communicate depends on being connected to these feelings. If you’re afraid of strong emotions or if you insist on communicating only on a rational level, it will impair your ability to fully understand others, creatively problem solve, resolve conflicts, or build an affectionate connection with someone.


• How emotional awareness can improve effective communication– Emotional awareness—the consciousness of your moment-to-

moment emotional experience—and the ability to manage all of your feelings appropriately is the basis for effective communication.

– Emotional awareness helps you:– Understand and empathize with what is really troubling other people– Understand yourself, including what’s really troubling you and what

you really want– Stay motivated to understand and empathize with the person you’re

interacting with, even if you don’t like them or their message– Communicate clearly and effectively, even when delivering negative

messages– Build strong, trusting, and rewarding relationships, think creatively,

solve problems, and resolve conflicts

Styles of Communication


The Five Communication Styles

• Being assertive means respecting yourself and other people. It is the ability to clearly express your thoughts and feelings through open, honest and direct communication.

• Becoming more assertive does not mean that you will always get what you want - but it can help you achieve a compromise. And even if you don't get the outcome you want, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you handled the situation well, and that there are no ill feelings between you and the other person or people involved in the discussion.


• Communicating assertively is not a skill reserved for the very few – anyone can do it - but it does take time and practice if it is not how you are used to communicating. Fortunately, it is a technique you can practice and master at home in your own time – either by yourself or with a friend you can trust to give you honest feedback. Remember to also think about how the person you are talking to may react, and how best you might cope with this.

• Before deciding that you would like to communicate assertively, you need to have an understanding of what your usual style of communication is. There are five communication styles, and while many of us may use different styles in different situations, most will fall back on one particular style, which we use as our "default" style.


The Five Communication Styles

• Assertive• Aggressive• Passive-aggressive• Submissive• Manipulative• Different sorts of behavior and language are

characteristic of each.


The Assertive StyleAssertive communication is born of high self-

esteem. It is the healthiest and most effective style of communication - the sweet spot between being too aggressive and too passive. When we are assertive, we have the confidence to communicate without resorting to games or manipulation. We know our limits, and don't allow ourselves to be pushed beyond them just because someone else wants or needs something from us. Surprisingly however, Assertive is the style most people use least.


The Aggressive Style

This style is about winning – often at someone else's expense. An aggressive person behaves as if their needs are the most important, as though they have more rights, and have more to contribute than other people. It is an ineffective communication style as the content of the message may get lost because people are too busy reacting to the way it's delivered.


The Passive-Aggressive Style

This is a style in which people appear passive on the surface but are actually acting out their anger in indirect or behind-the-scenes ways. Prisoners of War often act in passive-aggressive ways in order to deal with an overwhelming lack of power. People who behave in this manner usually feel powerless and resentful, and express their feelings by subtly undermining the object (real or imagined) of their resentments – even if this ends up sabotaging themselves. The expression "Cut off your nose to spite your face" is a perfect description of passive-aggressive behavior.


The Submissive StyleThis style is about pleasing other people and

avoiding conflict. A submissive person behaves as if other peoples' needs are more important, and other people have more rights and more to contribute.


The Manipulative Style

This style is scheming, calculating and shrewd. Manipulative communicators are skilled at influencing or controlling others to their own advantage. Their spoken words hide an underlying message, of which the other person may be totally unaware.


The Benefits of Understanding the Different Styles of Communication

• A good understanding of the five basic styles of communication will help you learn how to react most effectively when confronted with a difficult person. It will also help you recognize when you are not being assertive, or not behaving in the most effective way. Remember, you always have a choice as to which communication style you use. Being assertive is usually the most effective, but other styles are, of course, necessary in certain situations – such as being submissive when under physical threat (a mugging, hijacking etc.).

• Good communication skills require a high level of self-awareness. Once you understand your own communication style, it is much easier to identify any shortcomings, or areas which can be improved on, if you want to start communicating in a more assertive manner.

• If you're serious about strengthening your relationships, reducing stress from conflict and decreasing unnecessary anxiety in your life, practice being more assertive. It will help you diffuse anger, reduce guilt and build better relationships both personally and professionally.

• Remember the first rule of effective communication: the success of the communication is the responsibility of the communicator


Presentation Skills


Developing The Attitude of a Successful Public Speaker I

• Remember that you know your subject• Know your material well. • Be the expert. Your primary duty is – to understand what your audience needs to know– and prepare the message and supporting materials in

a way that delivers your message clearly and powerfuly


Developing The Attitude of a Successful Public Speaker II

• Remember that the stage fright is normal, and be open about it.

• Practice your presentation, do pilot tests.• Get the audience to participate.• Establish a rapport by using names & eye

contact.• Establish & check the equipment.


Developing The Attitude of a Successful Public Speaker III

• Research your audience, get acquainted with at least one person in the audience.

• Relax, breathe deeply, visualize yourself successfully.

• Dress comfortably and appropriately.• Use your own style. Do not imitate anyone.• Use audiovisual aids, for a visual impact.


Planning

The most critical step in preparation is understanding the purpose

• Why am I giving this presentation?• What do I want the audience know or to do at

the end of the presentation?• How do I want the audience to feel?


4 Types of Presentations

Instructional

Oral Report

Sales

Explanatory

More Persuasive

More Detailed


About 4 Types of Presentations I• Sales: to sell an idea or suggestion to clients, upper

management, coworkers or employees. To persuade for an action or belief

• Explanatory: To familiarize, give an overall perspective or identify new developments. Does not require detail and persuasion. But should offer the audience new or renewed information&understanding


About 4 Types of Presentations II

• Instructional: When you want to teach others how to use something like a new procedure or a piece of hardware. Needs persuasion, detail & audience participation

• Oral Report: Bring the audience up to date on something with which they are already familiar. Focus on facts, figures &details involve little persuasive efforts.


Know your audience• Why should they listen to you?• How does what you say affect them?• What is in it for them to listen to you?• Why is it important for the audience to hear what you have to

say?• Collect information about what the audience expect to hear.

Sections of a Presentation

There are 3 sections of a presentation

1. Introduction2. Main Body3. Conclusion


1. Introduction

• For taking the attention and convincing them to listen to you.

• Never apologize for anything wrong.• Make your audience think that they are going to

be informed, entertained or enlightened.• Start your spech with power.


Main elements in Introduction I

• Begin your talk with an attention getter. With an interesting story or a question

• Next, tell what is in it for them: Let them know that your information is relevant to their needs.

• Increase your credibility by relating something about your background and expertise


Main elements in Introduction II

• Present yor agenda: the outline“Tell them what you are going to tell them,Tell them, andTell them what you just told them”• What do you expect of the audienceInform them on question-answer session etc.


2. Main Body I

• Deliver what you promised in the shortest and most interesting way

• Keep in mind in structuring your message that – Attention cycle & – Pacing

• Use repetition for remembering


2. Main Body II

• Use stories and examples for connection & association.

• Use intensity by tone of your voice, colors and bolds are for visual intensity.

• Use visuals, hands, graphics, statistics, group participation etc.


Conclusion

• Repeat your main idea or begin with“Let’s review the main points we’ve covered”• Last opportunity to emphasize main points.• Must be strong and persuasive.• You call for and encourage appropriate action


To Do in Visuals

• Check equipment• Present one idea per slide• Use dark background and light lettering• Use maximum 6 lines per slide• Use maximum 6 words per slide• Keep slides simple


Avoid in Visuals

• Crowd information.• Turn your back to audience.• Just reading lines like notes.• Go back in slides for repeating.• Turn off the lights any longer than necessary.


The End


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