Adolescents Amsterdam 2007

Therese Steiner, MD

Switzerland

Assumptions about parents

Parents want to:• Be proud of their child• Hear good news about their child• Have a positive impact on their child• Have a good relationship with their child• Give their child a good education• Give their child a good chance at success• Be hopeful about their child• See theirs child’s future better or at least as

good as theirs

Consequences in the work with parents

• Report the adolescent’s strength to the parents• Give the credit for success to the parents• Discover the parent‘s wish and goal behind the

presented complain• Create hope by finding exceptions• Help shape the parent‘s expectation• Focus parents on small steps in order to make

success more likely

It is important how we share observations

• Make use of the magic word and!

• Remember. The word ‘but’ is the entrance to arguments, the word ‘why’ to justifications.

• The art to be wise, is the art of knowing what to overlook and overhear

William James

• It is not what the teacher says but what the student hears that counts

Japanese wisdom

Assumptions about adolescents

Adolescents want to:• Be different from their parents• Be accepted and be part of the social group they

live in• Learn new things, add new skills• Be active and be involved• Voice their opinion and make choices • Have their parents be proud of them

Discover the strength based on questions

• What is important for the adolescent?

• Who is important for the adolescent?

• What does the adolescent know well how to do?

• What is the adolescent willing to do?

Becoming an adult:

• Is like redecorating the house one lives in. Everything has to be taken out and evaluated . Most of the things will be replaced at the exactly the same place as they have been before and yet they look ever so differently! A few new things are added; doesn't it look great the new house!

Conflicting goals

• Are normal and sign of a good development

• Help to restart a constructive conversation.• Find the wish behind the complains from

both sides• Find and highlight the goal which is in

common ( have peace, have a satisfied life)

• Trust the clients to find a solution

See through the adolescent’s eyes

• You must have a good reason to..

• Which difference does it make to..

• Tell me a little bit more about the advantage you take out of…

• How did you discover doing x was helpful?

• What else did you find out makes sense in the given situation?

Scribble Game

• Ask the child to make a scribble.• Take over and let you inspire. Make a little

drawing with a different color and integrate the scribble the first player did.

• Sign your little piece of art• It is now your turn to make a scribble on a

new piece of paper .• Ask the child to make a drawing out of it. • Ask the child to sign

Find the first clue of a solution

Suppose your solution has :• A color• A shape• A texture • A smell• A taste• A sound• Would move• Pops up in a picture