addressing the bullying epidemic with …...• silent treatment • spreading rumors or gossiping...
TRANSCRIPT
ADDRESSING THE BULLYING EPIDEMIC WITH FAMILIES
Danielle Matthew, LMFT PRESENTED BY
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DANIELLE MATTHEW, LMFT
Founder of The Empowerment Space
Author of
The Empowered Child:
How to Help Your Child Cope, Communicate
& Conquer Bullying
Licensed Marriage
and Family Therapist
Over 20 years of clinical experience
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INTRODUCTION
CASEEXAMPLE
DEFINITIONS,STATISTICS,RISKFACTORSANDIMPACTSSTRATEGIESFORWORKINGWITHFAMILIESANDSCHOOLS
RESOURCES
PRESENTATION OVERVIEW
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BULLYING HAS ALWAYS BEEN PRESENT But is more prevalent today
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CASE STUDY OF A BULLY VICTIM FROM TODAY
SITUATION
A 16-year old female became the target of mean social posts on Facebook and Twitter (cyber bullying).
RESPONSE
Victim texts a friend that she cannot handle the cyber bullying anymore. The friend gets worried and texts the mother of the victim. Parents confront the victim.
OUTCOME
The parents are able to make sure she is safe and does not need to go to the hospital. They then immediately call a therapist for help.
IMPACT
The victim began showing signs of depression. She became easily agitated at home, withdrew from social activities and began eating and sleeping less.
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“Repeated, persistent and aggressive behavior intended to cause fear, distress, or harm to another person’s body, emotions or self-esteem or reputation.” - dunhaime.org/legal dictionary
LEGAL DEFINITION
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FOUR MAIN TYPES OF BULLYING
PHYSICAL
• Kicking• Hitting• Pushing/Tripping• Grappling
CYBER/INTERNET
• Texting Threats• Posting Mean
Comments• Sharing Personal
Statements• Impersonation• Disrespectful
CommentsApproximately 35% of teens have been threatened online
RELATIONAL
• Excluding / OstracizingAnother Child
• Silent Treatment• Spreading Rumors or
Gossiping• Defaming
“There is often a disconnect between the student’s experience of bullying and what the adults see.”
VERBAL
• Name calling• Putdowns• Shouting• Threats• Disrespectful
Comments
77% of bullying is verbal
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RISK FACTORS
• Gender and Sexual Orientation• Ethnicity• Physical Factors• Social-Emotional Factors• Other Factors
55.2% of LGBT students experienced cyberbullying
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IMPACTS OF BULLYING
PHYSICAL
• Physical Injury• Fight/Flight/Freeze
Response• Agitation• Body Flush• Posture
EMOTIONAL
• Depression• Self Judgment• Anxiety• Embarrassment• Low Self Esteem
RELATIONAL
• Boundaries• Status• Losing Friends• Treatment By Others• Isolation
“Students who experience bullying are twice as likely as non-bullied peers to experience negative health effects such as headaches and stomach aches.”
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MORE STATISTICS
• Survey of 15,000 students in 6th to10th grade
• 30% of students in a single semesterreport bullying
• Bully- 13%• Victim – 11%• Both Bully and – 6%
• Probability that any one studentinvolved in their lifetime of over 12years of school rises to 70%.
2001 World Health Organization Survey
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“Adultsoftendon’tknowhowtorespond
whentheydorecognizebullying.”
BULLYING OFTEN GOES UNREPORTED
64% of children who were bullied did not report it
Children do not report bullying for many reasons: • They want to handle it themselves• They don’t want to get their parents involved• They don’t want their parents to think they can’t handle
their own problems• They don’t want to be a “snitch”• They’re embarrassed
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6 SIGNS A CHILD MAY BE BULLIED
Unexplainable and/or repeated injuries 1
A strong dislike for school 2
A change in friends and social behavior 3
A change in eating and/or sleeping 4
Isolating in room and withdrawing from family 5
A decline in academic performance 6
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WHAT TO DO IF YOU SUSPECT BULLYING
• Talk to the child• Approach the school• Talk to the principal• Empower the child
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HELPING YOUR CHILD AFTER BULLYINGThe Three E’s
Empathy • Listen, Show you care, Work to
understand their feelings
Empowerment • Give your child power to take action,
while keeping safety in mind
Engagement • Stay involved and engage school
personnel to keep your child safe andsupported
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HOME SCHOOLING VS. TRADITIONAL SCHOOL
Guidelines to Consider:
• What is the school’s policy onbullying?
• Does the school have programs orsupport for children in managingbullying?
• Can you support your child in learningcoping skills for managing bullying?
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RYAN’S STORY
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ABOUT THE EMPOWERMENT SPACEFor children between the ages of 10-17
Teaches: • Healthy and unhealthy boundaries• The difference between negative and positive self-talk• Effective communication• When/how to take action following a bullying incident
CONSULTATION/PROGRAM FOR CHILDREN THAT HAVE BEEN BULLIED
Empowers children to heal from bullying Children gain: • Self esteem & confidence• A support system to go when things get difficult• Positive outlets to address emotional pain 17
THE EMPOWERED CHILDHow to Help Your Child Cope, Communicate and Conquer Bullying
Your Go-To Guide For Helping Your Child Overcome Bullying
Introduces simple, effective therapy techniquesto start a healthy conversation with your child,create an action plan to stop bullying, bring insupport from your school, and stay sanethroughouttheprocess.
AvailableatAmazon.com
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BULLYING RESOURCES
• The Empowerment Space(www.empowerment.space)
• Matthew, Danielle; The Empowered Child: HowTo Help Your Child Cope, Communicate andConquer Bullying
• Wiseman, Rosalind; Queen Bees andWannabes
• Piper, Mary; Reviving Ophelia: Saving theSelves of Adolescent Girls
• Cooper, Scott; Speak Up and Get Along: Goodfor Younger Grades
• Kids in the House; www.kidsinthehouse.com
• Annie Fox; www.anniefox.com
• The Parenting Skill;https://theparentingskill.som
• The Family Couch;https://theparentingskill.com/family-couch-show/
• Heather Criswell - Wise Inside;www.wiseinside.com
• Cohen, Cathi; Raise Your Child’s Social IQ:Stepping Stones to People Skills for Kids
• Simmons, Rachel; Odd Girl Out
• Story of Us (www.storiesofus.com)
• Hirsch, Lee; Bully (2011)
• www.StopBully.gov19
Thank You
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