Academic Writing Style

Yeo Ju Choi & Mary Compton

Expression of ideas in “clear and coherent language, a difficult task for most writers, and a daunting one for many.” – Joseph Williams, Style

But chill out—it’s not voodoo.

• mastery of research matter• understanding of analytical argument• preference for logical organization• confidence in evidence• respect for research• respect for crediting ideas to their originator

Academic Audience

The Minimalist in Action (1)• Use transitions sparingly (however, therefore, nevertheless,

meanwhile, moreover, consequently).• Use ambiguous words only occasionally (really, basically,

effectively, essentially, very).• Replace negative statements with positive affirmations when

possible (not replaceable = irreplaceable, not dissimilar = similar).

Concision: Just the facts

• Get to the subject quickly. • Avoid long opening phrases and clauses at the

beginning of sentences.

Whatever results are found during the trials, and they may or may not be favorable, we will stand behind the science.

Whatever results are found during the trials, we will stand behind the science.

Shorten long sentence openers

• Remove interruptions between subjects and verbs.• Remove interruptions between verbs and objects.

The plan, as crazy as you might find it and as difficult as it would be to execute, was absolutely, positively guaranteed to be foolproof.

The plan was foolproof, as crazy or as difficult to execute as you might find it.

The plan was foolproof, although you might find it crazy or difficult to execute.

Don’t interrupt yourself

The Minimalist in Action (2)• Delete doubles (full and complete, any and all, first and

foremost, honest and true, each and every).• Delete ideas that are implied (true facts, free gift, each

individual).• Turn adjective and noun pairs into adverbs.First and foremost, the pieces must be aligned in an accurate manner.

First, the pieces must be aligned accurately.

Don’t repeat yourself

The Minimalist in Action (3)

• “This must be done prior to any other subsequent action” really means, “This must be done first.”

• “In the event that the information is available before next year…” really means, “If the information is available before next year…”

Simplify

Original: A concise style can improve our own thinking and our readers’ understanding by placing the emphasis where it is necessary.

A concise stylecan improve both

our own thinkingandour readers’ understanding.

A concise stylecan improve not only

our own thinkingbut alsothe understanding of our readers.

Which revision is stronger?

Original: The national unity of a free people depends upon a sufficiently even balance of political power to make it impracticable for the administration to be arbitrary and for the opposition to be revolutionary and irreconcilable. – Walter Lippmann

The national unity of a free people depends upon

a sufficiently even balance of political power

to make it impracticable

for the administration to be

arbitrary

revolutionary and

irreconcilable.

and for the opposition to be

Is there balance between administration and opposition? Does there need to be?

Clarity and Complexity

Complex phrases and clauses, new information, and technical terms get better emphasis at the ends of sentences.

• Lincoln’s claim that the Civil War was God’s punishment of both North and South for slavery appears in the last part of the speech.

• In the last part of his speech, Lincoln claims both North and South suffered slavery as a punishment from God.

Clarity & Complexity

Use “it” in place of a complex noun clause.

• That oil prices would be set by OPEC once seemed inevitable.

• It once seemed inevitable that oil prices would be set by OPEC.

Clarity & Complexity

Revision: Subjects and Topics

• The topic of a sentence is expected to be its grammatical subject.

• In most of your sentences, use subjects to name topics (what you want the reader to focus on).

– Although a great imagination was her gift, Matilda was never very good at writing stories.

– Matilda was never very good at writing stories, although she had the gift of a great imagination.

Clarity & Subjects

• The “real” subject of the sentence should also be the grammatical subject. Avoid burying the subject in a prepositional phrase.

• Weak: The use of this method would eliminate the problem.• Strong: This method would eliminate the problem.

• Focus on the “real” verb. Avoid the use of a nominalized verb (a verb that is changed into a noun and coupled with a weaker verb).

• Weak: to effect an installation, to conduct an analysis, to give consideration

• Strong: to install, to analyze, to consider

Subjects & Verbs

To emphasize responsibility, use strong active verbs that clearly communicate activities and experience.• Some strong action verbs: analyzed, studied,

conducted, developed, implemented, maintained, performed, supervised

• For quoting: commented, stated, maintained, argued, agreed, disagreed, wondered, questioned

Strong Verbs

Emphasis

• Put important information at the end of sentence for stress.

• Shift peripheral ideas to the beginning.• What the reader already knows goes first, and

new information follows.

Known--------------------------------------New

Emphasis

Emphasis: Syntax Strategies

Manipulate passive/active verbs so that what you want to emphasize is in the first position.• Sociobiologists claim that our genes

influenced aspects of behavior we think are learned.

• Aspects of behavior we think are learned are influenced by our genes.

More strategies for emphasis

“Not only X, but also Y” — emphasizes the last element.• Not only did OPEC set oil prices, but it also

seemed inevitable.• Not only the Israelis but also the Palestinians

rejected the proposal.

More strategies for emphasis

There is/are and It is/are allow for delay and focus attention away from the subject.• Several syntactic devices let you manage

where in a sentence you locate units of new information.

• There are several syntactic devices that let you manage where in a sentence you locate units of new information.

Shifting Attention

Troubleshooting

Keep coordinate elements in the same grammatical structure (parallel structure).

• Uncoordinated: I can’t finish my paper because I am sick, my sister’s wedding, and a computer explosion.

• Coordinated: I can’t finish my paper because I am sick, my sister is getting married, and my computer exploded.

• Coordinated: I can’t finish my paper because I am sick, I am going to my sister’s wedding, and I am without a computer.

Faulty Coordination

Troubleshooting

Keep modifiers close to what they modify.

• Scientists have learned that their observations are as subjective as those in any other field in recent years.

• In recent years, scientists have learned that that their observations are as subjective as those in any other field.

• Scientists have learned in recent years that that their observations are as subjective as those in any other field.

Misplaced Modifiers

Revision: Reshaping Sprawl

A sentence sprawls when there are many clauses after the verb.

• Reduce relative clauses by cutting who/that/which + is/was.• Change subordinate clauses into sentences• Change clauses into phrases• Coordinate using coordinating conjunctions (FANBOYS)• Arrange from shorter to longer elements.

Teachers should remember that students are vulnerable and uncertain about those everyday, ego-bruising moments that adults ignore, and that they do not understand that one day …

Reshaping Sprawl

Troubleshooting

Teachers should remember that students are vulnerable and uncertain about those everyday, to ego-bruising moments that adults ignore, and that they do not understand that one day they will not be so fragile stronger.

Teachers should remember students are vulnerable to ego-bruising moments adults ignore, and they do not understand that one day they will be stronger.

Teachers should remember their students are more vulnerable to ego-bruising moments than adults. Young people do not realize that one day they will be less fragile.

Reshaping Sprawl

• Put a slash mark after every punctuated sentence.

• Underline the first five or six words of every sentence in a passage.

An Exercise in Style

That the deadline for our midterm paper is on this coming Monday came to my attention yesterday. / I will not be able to turn it in on Monday, and I am going to be out of town the rest of this week because of my sister’s wedding, being sick with mono, and my computer exploded. / May I turn my midterm in your box on Friday when it is cleaned up? / It would be greatly appreciated./

Analysis

• Do the underlined words match up with your most important points?

• Do the underlined words contain unclear connections that will confuse your reader? Even if you see connections, think hard about whether your readers can.

That the deadline for our midterm paper is on this coming Monday came to my attention yesterday.

Analysis

Analysis

• What ideas are in places of emphasis?• Read sentences longer than two lines aloud, listen and look

for:• many words separating subject and verb• sprawl of relative clauses after the verb that cloud the meaning• repetition of words• negative words

That the deadline for our midterm paper is on this coming Monday came to my attention yesterday. / I will not be able to turn it in on Monday, and I am going to be out of town the rest of this week because of my sister’s wedding, being sick with mono, and my computer exploded. / May I turn my midterm in your box on Friday when it is cleaned up? / It would be greatly appreciated./

Analysis

A Sample Revisited

That the deadline for our midterm paper is on this coming Monday came to my attention yesterday.

It came to my attention yesterday that our midterm papers are due on Monday.

Yesterday I discovered our midterm papers are due next Monday.

A revision: two versions

A Sample Revisited

I will not be able to turn it in on Monday, and I am going to be out of town the rest of this week because of my sister’s wedding, being sick with mono, and my computer exploded.

I am writing to inform you that I will be unable to meet the deadline due to personal reasons involving illness and family obligations. To complicate matters, my computer will be in the repair shop until the middle of next week.

I regret that personal illness, family obligations, and computer problems prevent me from meeting the deadline.

A revision: two versions

A Sample Revisited

May I turn my midterm in your box on Friday when it is cleaned up?

May I leave my midterm in your mail box next Friday once I have resolved my situation?

I am asking your permission to leave my paper in your mail box next Friday. By then I will have resolved my situation.

It would be greatly appreciated.

I would appreciate the extension.

Thank you for any extension you can offer.

A revision

Formal Reports

That the deadline for our midterm paper is due on this coming Monday came to my attention yesterday. I will not be able to turn it in on Monday, and I am going to be out of town the rest of this week because of my sister’s wedding, being sick with mono, and my computer exploded. May I turn my midterm in your box on Friday when it is cleaned up? It would be greatly appreciated.

It came to my attention yesterday that our midterm papers are due on Monday. I am writing to inform you that I will be unable to meet the deadline due to personal reasons involving illness and family obligations. To complicate matters my computer will be in the repair shop until the middle of next week. I would like permission to leave my midterm in your mail box next Friday. By then I will have resolved my situation. I would appreciate the extension.

A revision

Formal Reports

That the deadline for our midterm paper is due on this coming Monday came to my attention yesterday. I will not be able to turn it in on Monday, and I am going to be out of town the rest of this week because of my sister’s wedding, being sick with mono, and my computer exploded. May I turn my midterm in your box on Friday when it is cleaned up? It would be greatly appreciated.

Yesterday I discovered our midterm papers are due next Monday. I regret that personal illness, family obligations, and computer problems prevent me from meeting the deadline. I am asking your permission to leave my paper in your mail box next Friday. By then I will have resolved my situation. Thank you for any extension you can offer.

A revision

Source Information

Williams, Joseph M. Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace. 7th ed. New York: Longman, 2003.

References