abstracts from dave.doc 97-2003

8/8/2019 Abstracts From Dave.doc 97-2003

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This is a great question.

There are really two very different (and

important) aspects to the "conversations with

women" topic:

1. The HOW.

2. The WHAT.

"THE HOW..."

Most guys want to know "what to talk about"

with women.

It only makes sense that you should talk about

things that women are interested in... right?

Well... partially.

It is actually FAR MORE IMPORTANT to talk about

whatever topic you're talking about in the RIGHT

WAY.



In other words, if you don't understand HOW to

carry on a conversation that creates ATTRACTION,

then it really won't matter WHAT you talk about...

because the woman you're talking to won't FEEL

anything towards you.

The HOW of conversation includes (but, is not

limited to):

- Your body language

- Eye contact

- The Cocky & Funny style of communicating

- Flirting

- Sending mixed messages

- Directing the conversation

- Dealing with common questions and topics

...and many other things.

My point is that if you're running into a lot



of "uncomfortable silences", nervousness, and

other usual challenges, then you probably need to

get the HOW handled before the WHAT.

"THE WHAT..."

With that said, there are several topics that

are GREAT to discuss with women.

But instead of just giving them to you, I want

you to do yourself a favor and THINK for a minute.

What topics do women PAY to hear about?

Hint: Cosmo magazine, romance novels, soap

operas, nighttime dramas, the fashion channel...

etc.

If you think about it, the answer to this

question is rather obvious.

For whatever reason, WOMEN tend to LOVE:

- Drama



- Conflict

- Romance

- Famous people and their lives

So... it's really quite easy to enjoy a

conversation with a woman about these topics.

Here are a few ideas:

1. Play amateur psychologist to the stars.

Talk about how someone famous is doing

something really stupid, then psycho-analyze them.

Actors, rock stars and famous sports figures

just LOVE to do crazy things... cheat on their

spouses... and then say "I didn't do it".

These situations are BEGGING to be picked apart

with a fine-toothed, critical, funny, sarcastic

mind.

2. Find an interesting looking group of people and

guess what's going on.



Look around you, and find a couple sitting at a

table that looks like they're on their first date.

Then, start making fun of how the guy is

acting, how he's dressed, his posture, or

whatever. Talk about how the woman is thinking

that he's a dork and how he's not getting any, no

matter how many compliments he gives her.

Analyzing what's going on with a close group of

others is big fun, and women love it.

*3. Make fun of someone famous.

*Talk about other people's love lives.

****Topics to avoid: Rape, kidnapping, stalking,

death, chess, computers, comic books, Star Wars

and your secret love: wrestling.

** When a guy can't seem to hold on to a woman, the

problem is ALMOST ALWAYS one of the following:

1) He turns into a clingy, needy Wuss at some

point during the relationship.



2) He becomes PREDICTABLE and BORING at some

point during the relationship.

So stop doing those things.

*your core concept of attraction has to do with

mystery and anticipation,

***You will not believe how competitive women are.

A friend of mine pointed something out to me a

few years ago.

He said "You know when you go out to a nice bar

or club, and all the women are dressed up, have

their hair done, and their makeup perfect? Well

they're not fixed up like that for the men...

it's for the other WOMEN."

This is one of the reasons why so many married

guys talk about how much more often they're

approached by women now that they're married...

***Me- "Excuse me, MS, do you work here (I know she

does not work there)?"



She- "No."

Me- "Good, I want you to help me find this book (I

don't say, 'Can you please help me...' I go with

a demand of authority... they like it)."

She- "What book is that," she asked me, as she

gave me that wondrous look.

Me- "Wow, you are indeed gorgeous ... you remindme the PowerPC girls (she would be shocked, but

liking it). See, my problem is that I am a very

shy guy, and I am trying to get over it."

She- "What do you mean you are shy? You don't

seem shy to me." (By the way, this happened to me

in real life, and she was hot for real)

Me- "Aren't you shy?"

She - "Yeah."

Me- "You don't seem shy to me either."

She- "It depends on the situation, and with the

person you are talking to. Whether or not you



feel comfortable."

Me- "Oh, so, I am the right person, you like this

situation, and overall, you feel comfortable."

She- "See, you are not shy at all."

Me- "I gotta go." Like you taught me, I turned

around and walked 3 steps away from her and went

back to her, "I want your e-mail address, becauseI feel less shy talking to you."

She- "Oh, sure, I would LOVE that."

Me- "You would love it? Hummm, so you like guys

in the evolutive process of not being shy, eh?"

She hit me on the shoulder, and I accused her,

"Hey, that is sexual harassment."

She laughed, and I said to my mind, "Kids, so

easily getting amused." She had not written her

e-mail, and I asked her, "Have you not written the

e-mail because you forgot it? Geeez, young people

these days." (She is 29, and I am 21, lol.)



She- "Oh, my...You are too much."

Me- "For you to handle?"

She stared at me.

I slightly smiled at her, and said, "What? You

like my lips? They are not average... You should

be grateful if I touch your forehead with them."

She was laughing so hard that her face turned red,

but I never laughed, rather, would smirk.

She gave me her e-mail, and I said, "Have a good

night." She replied, "You too, bye."

I said, "Wait, are you leaving like that without

saying 'it was pleasure meeting you?"'

She said, "Wow, are you always like this?"

Me - "Do you mean offering kisses?"

She laughed, and said, "No, silly ... like being

with this sense of humor."



"All the time, " I said. She was quiet, staring

at me, and said, "I wish all men were like you." I

said, "No, I am glad they are not like me. They

fail in trying to imitate me" (I wanted to leave

already, even though I was having a good time).

She asked me, "Why you say that?" "Hey kid, " I

said, "I really have to go ... but you forgot to

write down your phone number."

She sighed, in a good way, and wrote it down.To make this short, I called her the same night,

and she was, "Wow, I was not expecting your call."

I said, "No, I am calling you because I forgot to

wish you sweet dreams, and also checking to see if

you made it home safe." "That is so sweet of

you...," she said, and I told her that I ought to

go. She did not want me to, but I did leave. We

met again, at her house, and half an hour of me

being there, and talking, I said, "Look, I have to

go." "What?! Why?" she asked. I said, "Maybe

you want to take a rest, or lay on your bed, and

you don't do it because I am here, unless you

promise me that if you lay in bed you will take me

with you." She did not say anything, nor smile,

but jumped to me and kissed me. Needless to say, I

swear David, we had sex. It was great.



**If a girl tells you that you're too funny, just

say:

"That's impossible."

...or...

"I'm glad you noticed. I realize that this is

making you very attracted to me, but pleasecontrol yourself."

***What Causes Women To Leave Men?

1) Women are NEVER attracted to WUSSIES.

2) Don't be PREDICTABLE.

3) Don't be BORING. Boring is also the lack of adventure, passion,

energy, humor, and ATTRACTION.

A few quick ideas:

Take up an interesting hobby. Think wine

collecting, not comic book collecting.

Mountain biking, not chemistry.



Fashion, not X-Box.

***WHAT ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HATE MOST ABOUT SINGLE GUYS...

A woman can like everything about you, but if

you do these things (or even ONE of these things),

it can DESTROY your chances of success with a

particular woman.

1) Giving Up Your Status In Exchange For HerAttention And Approval

Men, in effect, say "Hi, I want your approval

and attention. I'm willing to let YOU be the one

who's in control... and let YOU call the shots...

and do anything to please YOU... if you'll give me

your attention and approval".

But the problem is that women DON'T WANT you to

give up your status and "manliness".

Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who act weak and

tentative.

2) Being Needy, Clingy, And Insecure

If a guy is on the phone with a girl he just

met, and she says "Hey, I have to go", he might

say "Aw, well... um... OK. Um, will you call me



when you get home?".

Or let's say a guy and a girl are out on their

first date, and they're walking around in a large

department store.

Most guys will follow the woman everywhere, and

not leave her side for a minute.

If she wanders away, he'll come find herIMMEDIATELY.

He'll stay physically close to her, as if he's

afraid she'll leave without him.

And an even worse example is a guy who is so

emotionally insecure that he actually ASKS a woman

to tell him that he's nice, fun, interesting, etc.

"Do you think I'm interesting?"

"Do you think we could ever have a

relationship?"

"Am I your type?"



Women HATE this stuff. It makes them shiver

with the heebie-jeebies. It makes them want to RUN

AWAY.

3) Not Leading - And Even Worse, Trying To Get Her

To Lead

The REAL problem is that most women won't try

to LEAD naturally.

So you've got a situation where a man is tryingto FOLLOW a woman who isn't LEADING.

He's looking for little cues so he knows where

to go and what to do... but he isn't getting them.

So what does he do?

He ASKS for them!

He says "So, I was thinking of maybe taking you

to Olive Garden for dinner... how does that

sound?".

Everything about the way he asks says to the

woman "I'm trying to figure out what you want me

to do... please help me know how you want me to



act, where you want me to take you, and what you

want me to say".

This is ATTRACTION DEATH!

Men who don't lead, and even worse, try to get

a woman to lead, ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF SINGLE

WOMEN.

They HATE IT!

4) Using Insecure, Approval-Seeking, Low- Status

Posture, Gestures, Voice Tone, And Body Language



5) Not Understanding That She's A Woman And You're

A Man

Women are coy. They like to play hard to get.

They like to enjoy the chase. They love

anticipation. They love to "let a guy catch

them"...

Men are competitive. Men are dominant. Men like

to play rough games, win things, and rule theirterritory.

Well guess what?

Most men don't BEHAVE like men when they're in

the presence of a woman that they "like".

And since most men don't understand female

human nature, they don't demonstrate that they

"get it" when they're with women that they "like".

Women like men. Men like women. There are

POWERFUL causes at play here.

When you're around a woman you like, don't act

like a GIRLY-MAN. It's not sexy, and it's not



attractive...

And single women HATE IT!

6) Not Being Interesting To Be Around

She wants mystery... she wants to laugh... she

wants a challenge... she wants sexual tension...

7) Not Understanding Attraction

You have to do things like CREATE TENSION...stop doing something that she likes... give her

time to miss you... etc.

***Why You Should NOT Compliment A Woman

The

more attention and compliments they get, the

better and more powerful they feel. It's an ego

boost. BUT... and it's a BUTTTTT bigger than J-Lo's,

this doesn't mean that a woman will feel ATTRACTED

to you if you give her compliments.

As a matter of fact, if you start talking to an

attractive woman and say, "Wow, you're really

beautiful. I mean, you're like a goddess... are

you a model or an actress?" etc., the most LIKELY



response you're going to get is her giving you the

cold shoulder.

Why?

Because SHE GOT WHAT SHE NEEDED FROM YOU and

you showed her that you're JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER

guy out there that will worship her for her

physical beauty.

As a general rule, you ALWAYS want to avoid

being mentally slotted into the "average" and

"like all the other guys" category at ALL COST.

About 4 or 5 years ago when I was first

learning about how to be successful with women, a

good friend of mine said something that totally

shocked me.

He said, "Women don't dress up for men, they

dress up for each other."

I was stunned.

If you put a group of attractive women together

in a club or bar, and watch them carefully, you'll



see something interesting begin to happen...

The women will start doing "catty" things, like

looking each other up and down with disgusted

looks, making negative comments to their friends

about how other women look, and trying to

intimidate other women with their eyes.

Most men would never notice this subtle

communication that's going on between women, butif you look for it, you'll find it.

The fact is that women don't like to compete

with each other on the football field, they

compete to be the most attractive.

Men could really care less what a woman is

wearing or how she's dressed for the most part.

Sure, it's nice to see a woman dressed well, but

it's just not that important.

Women, and especially attractive women, don't

like the idea that another woman is getting more

attention than her. And women can tell very

quickly if another woman is more attractive...

this leads to "bitch looks", negative comments,



and other amazing displays.

To summarize, women don't spend a lot of time

fixing themselves up to get compliments, they do

it to compete with and impress other women. Ask a

few attractive, well-dressed women about this and

they'll tell you.

There's a HUGE opportunity in these first

meeting situations, but most guys never evenCONSIDER it because it's not what comes naturally.

The thing to do when you meet an attractive

woman is to actually TEASE AND BUST on her a bit,

rather than giving her compliments.

This effectively scrambles her whole program

and causes her to lose her composure. It takes her

off guard and shakes her out of her world... so

you can actually have a conversation.

*** A final note: If you're a pretty good looking

guy, you might turn down the cocky, and turn up

the funny.



Women perceive good looking guys who act cocky

as MAJOR PLAYERS, and too much cocky too soon can

backfire on you. Learn the art of the "sly

smile"... squint a bit and smile just barely. This

says "I just teased you but you didn't get it..."

It's great.

***To be successful with women, it is important to

understand that PLAYFUL TEASING, EYE CONTACT andCONFIDENCE are much more ATTRACTIVE than anything

you can repeat, do or own.

***I go to this club on a regular basis. I saw this

one girl and started dancing with her. Did some

C&F routine like "Don't get too close", "I don't

even know you that well".

*** Here are a few more quick stories about guys I

know who are "cool".

One guy I know always has girls around him. In

fact, I don't think I've ever seen him WITHOUT at

least one girl with him. Usually he has three or



four girls with him... and sometimes up to 10 or

12. He always makes fun of the girls, teases them,

and treats them like good friends who he's

comfortable enough to bust on. He's not rich, he

doesn't buy things for women, and he doesn't kiss

up to them. He DOES, on the other hand, make it

his business to know where the "cool" places are

in town, where to go out, and who to call for the

"inside track" on where the hot spots are. Then he

shows up at the door to these hot spots with fivewomen. EVERYONE who knows him thinks of him as a

"cool" guy.

I have another friend that is really amazing

with women. But he does something that's rather

unusual when he's around women. He kind of IGNORES

them when he first meets them. If he's out with

friends, and one of them introduces a female

friend to him, he'll shake her hand and say "hi",

then TURN AWAY and go back to whatever he was

doing. Somehow, the women that are around him

always want to talk to HIM. And all the guys he

knows think of him as one of the coolest guys

around.

Finally, I have one friend who literally says



things to women like, "You probably wouldn't like

me. I don't really have relationships with women.

Our relationship will probably go no further than

the physical..." If you've seen my Advanced DVD

Program, you probably remember him saying these

exact words when I'm interviewing him. He's so

calm and laid back around women that they have to

pursue HIM... and it happens a lot. He's

blunt, direct, and honest about whatever is on his

mind. He doesn't chase women, buy them things, orsmother them with compliments... and yet, they

love him. And he has a crew of guy friends who all

love him and think he's one of the "coolest" guys

in the world.

***"You're cute when

you pout.", etc. and it works,

***When you act like a Wussy, you do things like:

-Pursue

-Cling



-Share "feelings"

-Act submissive

-Seek approval

-Pine away

This is WUSSY behavior.

It's distinctly FEMININE in nature.

*** Being "nice" and "accommodating" and

"understanding" is great for friendships and

social relationships, but it's HORRIBLE for

ATTRACTION.

An interesting, attractive woman doesn't want a

guy that she can push around. She doesn't want a

guy who does what she wants him to do. She doesn't

want a little boy that she can train and raise.

An interesting, attractive woman wants a MAN.



*** Just make sure that you don't start calling

this girl every 20 minutes, and that you give her

space to miss you and think about you.

*** After a woman comes over to your house and gets

physical with you, LEAN BACK.

Don't call the next day and talk hot and heavy.

Give it some time and space.

Here's one of my favorite quotes:

"Give her the gift of missing you."

***"Excuse me, can I ask you a question? I'm

trying to overcome my shyness, and it's my goal to

ask five women today what it takes for them to

feel attracted to a man. Do you prefer it when

guys try to BUY your attention with gifts and

food, or do you prefer it when a guy teases you,

makes fun, makes you laugh, and keeps you guessing

about what's going to come next?"

***I was trying to figure out an approach when she

happened to turn and looked right at me, so I got

off my bar stool went over and said "Can I ask you



something?" She said "Sure, what?" I then asked

"Are you going to sing any more Eagles songs?'"

She says " I guess I can do a request" (semi-

teasing). I say "Then please don't sing any more

Eagle songs, cuz I really like them", then I

turned and walked back to my bar stool. Almost

immediately I heard "Hey a**hole!!!" I turned and

there she was, madder than hell, I started

cracking up- she started laughing too, sat down

with me...and the rest is history.

***And, if a woman is actually RUDE to you, just

laugh. Say, "Oh, sorry... you looked like you

might be an interesting person, but I was

obviously mistaken."

*** And to answer your question that you asked

about the "face" that women respond to...

Check out the look that Marlon Brando has on

his face on the cover of "Streetcar Named Desire".

That should give you a good idea of what I'm

talking about.

*** The way to not "regress into Wuss behavior



after initial success" is...

1) Have a life.

Stay busy. Spend time on your own. Do things

with friends that don't involve the woman you're

dating.

Too many guys will meet a woman, then basically

say in one way or another to her: "You are my

everything now, and I will do whatever I have todo to please you and spend time with you".

Big mistake.

If you stay busy, and keep your own life going

abstracts from dave.doc 97-2003

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