a physics view on

8/16/2019 A Physics View On

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A Physics view on: Why Did the Chicken Cross theRoad?

Albert Einstein: The chicken did not cross the road. The road passed beneath the chicken.

Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross roads.

Wolfgang Pauli: There was already a chicken on this side of the road.

Carl Sagan: There are billions and billions of such chickens, crossing roads just like this one, all across

the universe. [Apologies for perpetuating the misuote.!

Jean-Dernard-Leon Foucault : "hat#s interesting is that if you wait a few hours, it will be crossing the

road a few inches back that way.

Robert an de !raaf : $ey, doesn#t it look funny with all its feathers sticking up like that%

Albert "ic#elson and Edward "orle$ : &ur e'periment was a failure. "e could not detect the road.

Ludwig %olt&'ann: (f you have enough chickens, it is a near certainty that one of them will cross the

road.

Jo#annes (an der Waals: )ome say it was a si'th sense that led the chicken to cross the road. ( say it

was a si'th power.

Da(id )ilbert : ( was standing on the side of the road and a chicken came along, evidently in some kind

of strange state. ( informed it that it was nevertheless still in my space, so it went across the road.

%laise Pascal: The chicken felt pressure on this side of the road. $owever, when it arrived on the other

side it still felt the same pressure.

Jo#n Da(id Jac*son: *ou#ll find out after you complete this +-page calculation.

)enri Poincare: et#s try changing the initial position of the chicken just a tiny, tiny, tiny bit, and/.look,

it#s now across the road0

Enrico Fer'i: (n estimating to the nearest power of 12 the number of chickens that cross the road, note

that since fractional chickens are not allowed, the desired power must be at least 3ero. Therefore, at least

one chicken crosses the road.

Werner )eisenberg: 4ecause ( made darn sure it was standing rig#t ne't to me on this side.

Ric#ard Fe$n'an+ ,: (t#s all uite clear from this simple little diagram of a circle with lines poking out of

it.

Ric#ard Fe$n'an, 5: There was this good-looking rooster on the other side of the road, and he figured

he#d skip all the games and just get to the point. )o he asked the chicken if she#d like to come over to his

side, and she said sure.


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Erwin Sc#rodinger : The chicken doesn#t cross the road. 6ather, it e'ists simultaneously on both

sides/..just don#t peek.

C#arles Coulo'b: The chicken found a similar chicken on this side of the road to be repellent.

Jo#n %ell: )ince there are no local hidden chickens, any hidden chickens you find must have come from

far away. They therefore surely must have crossed at least one road on their way here.

)enr$ Ca(endis#: 7y dear chicken, ( have calculated with the utmost detail and precision the density of

your insides. 8ow, for the sake of my precious sanity, ( beg you, stop that incessant clucking and be gone0

Art#ur Co'ton: There were a bunch of chickens waving at me on this side of the road, but then a car

came along and they all scattered to the other side. The funny thing is that the ones that ended farthest

away were still waving at me a few minutes later. )o apparently, the ones that scattered the most had the

longest waves.

)ans !eiger : ( don#t know, but ( say we count how many times it crosses0

)oward !eorgi: (t can cross all it wants, but (#m going to sit here and wait until it decays.

Edward .eller : ( will build a more powerful chicken, and it will cross the road with more energy than any

chicken before0

/s*ar 0lein: Actually, it can get to the other side of the road without crossing it.

Sat$endra %ose: An identical chicken already crossed the road, so this one was much more likely to do

the same.

Wallace Cle'ent Sabine: (f you listen very carefully, you can hear the pitter patter of chicken feet,

which implies that a chicken must be crossing the road.

Sir Da(id %rewster : et me give you my angle on this/.

!alileo !alilei: The chicken crossed the road because it put one foot in front of the other and took a

sufficient number of steps to traverse a distance greater than or eual to the road#s width. 8ote that the

reason is not because the earth is the center of the universe. &h, great/ another jail term.

Da(id !ross+ )1 Da(id Polit&er+ Fran* Wilc&e* : The road is not wide. And at short distances a

chicken is free to do whatever it wants.

Robert "illi*an: (t didn9t. (t made it part way and then just sort of hovered there, apparently feeling an

eual pull in both directions.

Peter )iggs: "e must first find the chicken.

Nicolaus Coernicus: The chicken was moving at a slightly different orbital speed around the sun.

Fusion researc#ers: 4ecause it knew that in +2 years it would get to the other side. [8o insult intended

here. "ell, at least not to the physicists working hard with the meager funds they9ve been given.!


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A'adeo A(ogadro: "hat, just one% ( deal only with very large chicken numbers.

Ptole'$ : )omeone will probably think of a simpler e'planation in a few thousand years, but the present

understanding is that the chicken crosses the road because it is constrained to move on this here sphere,

which in turn has its center on this one over here. The end result is that, e'cept in the rare case of

retrograde chicken motion, the chicken does indeed cross the road.

"arie Curie: Bood uestion. And one that is much less ha3ardous to one#s health.

Willebrod Snell: (#m not sure, but ( did notice that when it stepped onto the road, it changed its direction.

Jo#ann Carl Friedric# !auss: raw a pillbo' around the road, and consider the flu' of chickens through

the bo'. (f a chicken leaves this side of the road, then assuming that there are no chicken sinks or

sources, it must end up on the other side.

Jo#ann %al'er : "hy are there only two lines in the middle of the road%

Ja'es Cler* "a3well4 &k, 7iss Chicken, let#s figure this out together. $old out your right foot/. yes,that#s it/. good/. now curl your talons/. right/. now look at your/. hold on D you don#t have any

thumbs0

/sborne Re$nolds: 8o idea. 4ut ( can see from the ruffled feathers that this was turbulent chicken flow.

0arl Sc#war&sc#ild: The sad thing is, ( know ( could have answered this uestion too. [This one isn#t

meant to be funny.!

C#ristian Doler : (t always sounds a bit down when it#s heading over there, but rather upbeat when it#s

coming back.

Edwin )ubble: )trange, it seems to move faster the farther away it gets.

Ernest Rut#erford: The differential cross section for forward chicken scattering is uite large, so the

chicken will most likely cross the road if it was initially heading in that direction.

Lene )au: "ell, ( wish it hadn9t. (t cut right in front of me while ( was out for a bike ride, chatting it up with

a photon.

Ste#en )aw*ing: Chicken fluctuations will inevitably create a scenario where a chicken ends up on the

other side of the yellow line, in which case there is a non3ero probability that it will escape to the other

side.

Lord 0el(in: ( don#t know. 4ut ( think the road actually starts back there a bit.

Daniel %ernoulli: 4ecause it enjoyed flying to the other side. &k, wait, can someone tell me once and for

all if (#m relevant to all this flying stuff or not%0

Robert /en#ei'er : Although it was deemed appropriate at the time, people will forever uestion

whether it was correct for the chicken to cross the road.


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https://www.physics.harvard.edu/academics/undergrad/chickenroad

Do these quotes match their author’s area in physics? so what is your reason? For

the chicken crossing the road. What does that tes us a!out your view on the

universe?

"eect #$ physicists and check their area o% physics& does it match their quote?

physicists 'rea o% physics

speciai(er in

"upport evidence )es or no

https://www.physics.harvard.edu/academics/undergrad/chickenroadhttps://www.physics.harvard.edu/academics/undergrad/chickenroad


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*ow much wood coud a woodchuck chuck i% a woodchuck coud chuck wood?

Who is !uried in +rant’s tom!?

What is the name o% the ,nknown "odier?

What are the ast %our digits o% pi?

*ow do cats purr?

Why Do Giraffes Have Long Necks?


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• Who closes the door after the bus driver gets off the bus?

• Why are pizza boxes square when the pizza is round?

• What ever happened to an E grade? We have A,B,C,D,F but no E.

• Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

• Don’t you find it worrying that doctors call treating you their “practice” ?

• Do they have the word “dictionary” in the dictionary?

• What do you call a female daddy long legs?

•

If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

• Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

• If a transport truck carrying a load of cars gets into a car accident, does

it increase the number of the cars in the pile-up?

• In France do people just ask for toast and get French toast? or do they

have to ask for American toast?


8/43

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• Why is it called a “drive through” if you have to stop?

• Why does mineral water that has “trickled through mountains for

centuries” go out of date next year?

• If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound ?

• Why are SOFTballs hard?

• Do vampires get AIDS?

• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible

crisp which no decent human being would eat?

• Why are they called goose bumps? Do geese get people bumps?

• Why is it that lemon dishsoap is made with real lemons, but lemon juice

is artificial flavoring?

• If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank

robbery?


9/43

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• Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

• Why can magicians make things disappear into thin air, but not thick air?

• Can people without hands get a grip?

• Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

• Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?

• Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze

these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out”?

• What do people in China call their good plates?

• Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?

• If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds?

• Does a postman deliver his own mail?


10/43

Name______________________________ period_____

• Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and

special features, or just the movie itself?

• If the professor on Giligan’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why

can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

• Why doesn’t a chicken egg taste like chicken?

• Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is

transported by car?

• Does peanut butter really have butter in it?

• Do mimes watch silent movies?

• Is the fear of flying groundless?

• Why do people say “You scared the living daylights out of me” when

daylight is not living?

• Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people

don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?


11/43

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• Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they

are going to look up “there” anyway?

• If somebody vanished without a trace, how do people know they are

missing?

• Why are boxing rings square?

• Why is it called pineapple, when’s there neither pine nor apple in it?

• Why is it called eggplant, when there’s no egg in it?

• Why do people never say “it’s only a game” when they’re winning?

• What was the best thing before sliced bread?

• Why do birds have white poop?

• Can good looking Eskimo girls be called hot?

• Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down?


12/43

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• Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it?

Shouldn’t it be called an inlet.

• If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?

• If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what would it taste like?

• Do sore thumbs really stick out?

• Why is it when you’re almost dead you’re on deaths doorstep, but when

you’re actually dead your not in deaths house?

• Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?

• What’s the opposite of opposite?

• If Practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, then why practice?

• Why are toe nail clippers bigger than finger nail clippers when your toe

nails are smaller than your finger nails?

• Is the opposite of “out of whack” “in whack” ?


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• If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?

• Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re

both dogs!

• Why is the blackboard green?

• Why do they call it a black light when it’s really purple?

• Why do hotdogs come in packs of 8 when hotdog rolls come in packs of

10?

• What do you call male ballerinas?

• How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter?

• If you dig a tunnel straight through the earth, will you come out with your

feet first?

• Why are pennies bigger than dimes?

• Did they have antiques in the olden days?


14/43

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• Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?

• If Pringles are “so good that once you pop, you can’t stop” why do they

come with a resealable lid?

• Is a sleeping bag a nap sack?

• What came first, the fruit or the color orange?

• Where does the white go when the snow melts?

• Can blind people see their dreams?

• What is the exception to the rule that every rule has an exception? Does

that make this rule right or wrong?

• Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?

• Have you ever wondered why Trix are only for kids?

• Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?


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• If we all evolved from monkeys, how come there’s still monkeys around

now?

• Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when

you legally can’t go that fast on any road?

• Why do they call it “getting your dog fixed” if afterwards it doesn’t work

anymore?

• If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn’t he

just buy dinner?

• If masochists like to torture themselves, wouldn’t they do it best by not

torturing themselves? and if so, aren’t we all masochist?

• Why is it called lipstick when it always comes off?

• Why is black history month (February) the shortest month of the year?

• If when people freak out they are said to be “having a cow”, when cows

freak out are they said to be “having a person?”


16/43

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• Aren’t you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions and you don’t

know if they are rhetorical questions or not?

• Why is a person that handles your money called a BROKER?

• Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep

worthless junk in the garage?

• Why do they have handicap parking spaces in front of they skating

rings?

• What happens if someone loses a lost and found box?

• Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn’t it be leaving a dump?

• What if the hokey-pokey really is what it’s all about?

• Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

• If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?

• Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?


17/43

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• Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the

counter?

• What would happen if an Irresistible Force met an Immovable Object?

• What’s the difference between a wise man and a wise guy?

• If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?

• How can you chop down a tree and then chop it up?

• Why are both male and female ladybugs called ladybugs instead of

ladybugs and manbugs?

• How can you hear yourself think?

• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,

then what is baby oil made from?

• Is a man full of wonder a wonderful man?

• Is a hot car cool or is a cool car hot?


18/43

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• How come thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?

• If The Flintstones were B.C. and before America, why did they have

Flintstones Thanksgiving and Flintstones Christmas?

• If a Man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him,

is he still wrong?

• Why is it that when a person tells you there’s over a million stars in the

universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there’s wet paint

somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

• If you fed a bee nothing but oranges, would it start making marmalade?

• Why is it you get a penny for your thoughts, but have to put in your two

cents worth?

• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

• If the speed of movement is slower than the speed of light – how fast is

a moving light?


19/43

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• Why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?

• Why is it good to be a Daddy’s girl, but bad to be a Momma’s boy?

• How can something be new and improved? if it’s new, what was it

improving on?

• Is Disney world the only people trap operated by a mouse?

• Why did they name that underwear company fruit of the loom?

• Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only

keep 3 or 4 open?

• Why is the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star the same tune?

• Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

• How does Santa get into a house that doesn’t have a chimney?

• If you get cheated by the better business bureau, who do you complain

to?


20/43

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• If you’re in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

• What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?

• What would Cheese say if they got their picture taken?

• Why are turds pinched off at the end?

• I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed,

but can you just be whelmed?

• If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?

• Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower,

when he doesn’t usually wear any pants?

• If you take an oriental person and spin him around a few times, does he

become disoriented?

• How come overtones and undertones are the same thing?

• What would you use to dilute water?


21/43

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• What should one call a male ladybird?

• How can military troops be deployed if they have never been ployed to

begin with?

• If you lived in Siberia and you wronged the Russians government, where

would they send you?

• Why do they call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere but call

it a hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

• If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

• Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

• Aren’t all generalizations false?

• Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

• Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

• Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!?


22/43

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• Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

• Could someone ever get addicted to counseling?

• If so, how could you treat them?

• Did Adam and Eve have navels?

• Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?

• Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you?

But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!

• Do fish get cramps after eating?

• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

• Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

• Do one legged ducks swim in circles?

• Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as 4’s?

• Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?


23/43

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• Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?

• Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

• How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite

a few are alike?

• How can someone “draw a blank”?

• How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

• How can there be “self help GROUPS”?

• How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always

ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

• How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the

battery is dead?

• How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

• How do you know when yogurt goes bad?


24/43

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• How do you know when you’re out of invisible ink?

• How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?

• How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the

mornings?

• How fast do you have to go to keep up with the sun so you’re never in

darkness?

• How is it possible to have a civil war?

• If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

• If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

• If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does her partner also have to

drown?

• If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other

trees make fun of it?


25/43

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• If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would he make a sound and would

anyone care?

• If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

• If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?

• If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

• If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called

a yellow?

• If God dropped acid, would he see people?

• How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but

just didn’t have anything to jot it down on?

• How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t grow in it?

• If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on

the doors?


26/43

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• If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10

miles away?

• If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?

• If a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train station is where a train

stops, why do I have a work station on my desk?

• If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the

applause?

• If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter

side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a

cat?

• If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?

• If a dog sweats through his tongue, why does he have armpits?

• If a jogger runs a the speed of sound can he still hear his walkman?


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28/43

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• If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to

the pan?

• If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

• If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland

called Holes?

• If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

• If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, “Quit

while you’re ahead”?

• If soap is used to make you clean, why does it leave a scum?

• If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he

automatically lose because he can’t find himself?

•

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

• If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it

considered a hostage situation?


29/43

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• If superglue is so good, why doesn’t it stick to the side of the tube?

• If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why’s it still #2?

• If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to

remain silent?

• If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?

• If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn’t they call

you first?

• If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

• If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?

• If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

• If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

• If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped

differently?


30/43

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• If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings,

why don’t they wear a pair of bras?

• If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?

• If you bear a child, why do you have a cow?

• If you can read the marking, isn’t that end already up?

• If you can’t drink and drive, why do you need a driver’s license to buy

liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

• If you dive into a pool of dry ice, can you swim without getting wet?

• If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the driver

end up owing you money?

• If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,

what do you call it?

• If you have a friend who works for the Psychic Friends Network, should

you plan a surprise birthday party for them?


31/43

Name______________________________ period_____

• If you have an open mind why don’t your brains fall out?

• If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says — “objects

in mirror are closer than they appear”, how can that be possible?

• If you keep trying to prove Murphy’s Law, will something keep going

wrong?

• If you play a blank tape at full volume and have a mime for a neighbor,

will he complain?

• If you put freeze-dried coffee in the microwave, will you go back in time?

• If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you’re

done?

• If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?

•

If you take a shower, where do you put it?

• If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?


32/43

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• If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

• If you’re cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read correctly?

• If you’re traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on,

what happens?

• Instead of talking to your plants, if you yell at them would they still grow,

only to be troubled and insecure?

• Is a castrated pig disgruntled?

• Is it possible to be totally partial?

• Is it progress if a cannibal learns to eat with a fork?

• Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

• Is there a Dr. Salt?

• Isn’t hot water already hot?

• Can you grow birds by planting birdseed?


33/43

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• Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their

stomach?

• Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

• Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

• Shouldn’t it be called a “near hit”?

• Shouldn’t it be some things in moderation?

• Shouldn’t there be a shorter word for “monosyllabic”?

• There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

• What came first the chicken or the egg?

• What color is a chameleon on a mirror?

• What colour would a smurf turn if you choked it?

• What did we do before the Law of Gravity was passed?

• What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?


34/43

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• What do sheep count when they can’t sleep?

• What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only

endangered plants?

• What does it mean if you break a mirror with a rabbits foot?

• What hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald man?

• What happened to the first 6 ups?

• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

• What happens when you call a 1-800 number collect?

• What is a free gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

• What is another word for “thesaurus”?

• What is the speed of dark?

• What part of the monkey do you use a monkey wrench on?


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• What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating

an endangered plant?

• What’s another word for synonym?

• When blind people go to the bathroom, how do they know when they are

done wiping their butt?

• When people lose weight, where does it go?

• When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

• When vultures are on their deathbed, are they ever tempted to eat

themselves?

• When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown

away?

•

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder

why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

• When you’re sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?


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37/43

Name______________________________ period_____

• Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

• Why are they called ‘stands’ when they’re made for sitting?

• Why are we afraid of falling? Shouldn’t we be afraid of the sudden stop?

• Why aren’t there bullet-proof pants?

• Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

• Why didn’t Luke Skywalker tell Darth Vader to turn to the light side of the

Force?

• Why do airlines call flights nonstop? Won’t they all stop eventually?

• Why do bars advertise live bands?

• What does a dead band sound like?

• Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

• If your feet smell and your nose runs, are you built upside down?

• Why do guys wear underpants?


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Name______________________________ period_____

• Why do people who only eat natural foods drink decaffeinated coffee?

• Why do they call it disposable douche? Is there a kind of douche you

keep after using?

• Why do they call them “apartments” when they are all stuck together?

• Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

• Why do they report power outages on TV?

• Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces?

• Why do ‘tug’boats push their barges?

• Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

• Why do we have hot water heaters?

• Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

• Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?


39/43

Name______________________________ period_____

• Why do we sing ‘Take me out to the ball game’, when we are already

there?

• Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?

• Why do you weep and sniffle over a TV program and the imaginary Why

does “cleave” mean both split apart and stick together?

• Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?

• Why does an alarm clock “go off” when it begins ringing?

• Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

• Why doesn’t “onomatopoeia” sound like what it is?

• Why don’t sheep shrink in the rain?

• Why don’t you ever hear about gruntled employees?

• Why don’t you ever see baby pigions?


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Name______________________________ period_____

• Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who

drives a race car not called a racist?

• Why is a women’s prison called a penal colony?

• Why is it called a “building” when it is already built?

• Why is it called a bust, when it stops right before the part it is named

after?

• Why is it called a TV “set” when you only get one?

• Why is it called ‘after dark’, when it is really after light?

• Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

• Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a

shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?

• Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn

down the volume on the radio?


41/43

Name______________________________ period_____

• Why is it when a door is open it’s ajar, but when a jar is open it’s not

adoor?

• Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a “near

miss”?

• Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

• Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid

contains real lemons?

• Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?

• Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

• Why is the word “abbreviate” so long?

• Don’t you have to get up to get to the tape?

• Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?

• Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?


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Name______________________________ period_____

• Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted?

• Have ex-locomotive engineers been derailed?

• Have ex-mathematicians become dysfunctional?

• Have ex-punsters been expunged?

http://deshoda.com/words/questions-with-no-answers/

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