a christmas eve in sacramento

8/2/2019 A Christmas Eve in Sacramento

1/28

A Christmas Eve

In

Sacramento

Gwang Lee


2/28

Preface

My role of this project was finding the unchanged truth in

American Courtship Custom. Through the generations inAmerica, there were lots of changes in the society, especially in

Transportation, Communication, and Information &

Technology. Therefore, I hypothesized that courtship custom

might have been changed from the past generations and did

various researches through books, journals, interviews, and

online articles. However, I came to conclusion that regardless

of significant advances in many areas in our society, there were

things that have never changed in courtship custom in

America. True love. I had so much fun while doing this project,

and I wanted my readers to enjoy my research as well;

therefore I concluded to write my report in a novel style to

illuminate the concept of Courtship custom in America. I hope

you enjoy.

Last,Thank you for teaching us through this semester, Professor.

GWANGSEOK LEE


3/28

1

*9:20 a.m., State College

When I wake up, my roommate was gone. Probably he left not long

ago, since the scent of his shampoo still permeates through my nose. I

always ask him to wake me up in the morning, but he has never done it; or

I might have not heard his voice.

Soon after I finished my breakfast, the unbearable stress starts

hammering on my head; the final presentation for my philosophy class. I

am supposed to give a presentation about my research and I know for a

fact that my classmates would not care what I would be saying; but my

professor would. I spent many hours for this project but I dont think I will

get a good grade; it has been this way for past two months since my

college life began. It is either I am not meant to be a good student or I

should have studied more in high school instead of going to gym and


4/28

playing X-box. Oh well. Christmas break doesnt seem far away. Only

three weeks from now. I will be a better student in the next semester.

*

Having rains for four days in a row, it starts to make sense what I

was told from the people from my hometown when I chose to come Penn

State; it didnt make sense to give up the wonderful weather and travel all

the way to the East from the West. Oh, Sacramento. I truly miss of having

sunny days for 24/7. Personally, I think it is Sacramento is the best city in

the United States. Not only because it has good weather but also there is

a long history for our family in Sacramento. It must be a long story since

our family moved into Sacramento in 1848. Now getting soaked in this

poor weather for four days, I realized what I have been taking granted for

in Sacramento. But otherwise, everything seems to be fine here.

Everything, except the weather and my grade.

*

1 missed call

I missed a call from mom last night, and received a voice mail from

her. I assumed mom was going to ask me about the grades and stuff, so I

decide not to give a call back; Though I love her, I am not in mood to talk

about my grade.


5/28

Today seems to go really fast. I had a nice lunch with one of my

best professor from English class. She is very nice woman. I definitely

want to take her classes in the future. Walking down to the restaurant to

have a dinner with my friend, I notice mom is calling me again.

Hey mom,

Hey Parker, did you get my voice mail? Is everything okay?

Yeah, everything is fine, mom! I didnt check your voice mail

though.

Oh, god. Okay Parker, um, Brad had a heart attack last night and

now he is lying on the bed. Dont worry too much, though. He regained his

consciousness in this morning.

I wish I had missed this call. What should I do?

*

Brad is one of my favorite people in the world. Others might not

believe what the truth is but he is actually my great-great grandpa. Yes,

he was born in 1830. He moved into Sacramento in 1848 when the Gold

Rush was about to begin. He was one of the first people who extracted

gold. He was 18 years old when he became a millionaire. He was not only

a wealthy guy but also was a very handsome, and smart. He dated so

many women until he found the best women for him when he was 50. He

did not say many things about his affairs but he must have been a guy like


6/28

George Clooney in his time. Then, between Lora, he gave a birth to his

only son Mark, named after Mark Twain. He liked him more than anything.

But, Mark died of heart attack early after he impregnated Katharine, my

great grandma. She was a great poet and still is. Then, Katharine gave

birth to my grandpa, John. John was a guy who did not believe in marriage

but finally got married to Maggie who placed 7th in Olympic 200m huddle

race in 1948. From those two wild people, my dad, Matt, was born. Matt is

a defense line coordinator assistant for Sacramento Surge, he used to play

football for Harvard but dropped out of the team after he fell in love with a

student from Yale; and her name was Lucy, the sweetest mom ever in the

world. I already miss her bacon-mushroom omelet for breakfast. Though

my great-great grandpa is still alive, but no one knows he is alive since

his social security number was terminated long ago and dont talk with

people. He looks really old though. He used to tell me some funny stories

when I was young, and he still tells me some good stories.

Looking up on the school calendar, I realize there was a week left

before Christmas break. Since my classes dont have final exams, my

decision becomes crystal clear. I am going back to Sacramento tonight.


7/28

2

*

Sacramento, CA-

I didnt post on Facebook or text my friends that I came back to

Sacramento. I wanted to spend time with Brad. Mom was waiting me at the


8/28

airport and we drove back home. We didnt talk that much since it was 3 in

the morning.

Parker!

As soon as I come in the house, I see all family are sitting at the

couch and greeting me with joyful voice but I dont see Brad in this scene.

It is okay; I didnt expect to see him in this scene. Since it is still 3 in the

morning, I ask the family to go back to bed.

Go in. Brad was waiting for you in his room, mom smiles.

Opening the door quietly, there I see my Brad lying on the bed.

Though he is lying on his bed, his eyes were very clear and bright.

Parker, my boy! How is college treating you?

Oh, its been so wonderful, Brad. How about you? What happened?

If I must say, probably even General MacArthur would admit that

an old soldier would not only forgotten but would die. Im 181 years old,

my son.

I know but, Brad stops me and says,

Dont worry, I think I would be alright. Would you do me a favor?

What is that? I would do what ever he asks.

Will you please find a woman to date?

I will think about it, Brad. I let him go to bed and come out.

*


9/28

I am honestly not interested in dating; its been this way for 18

years of my life but that is what Brad wants. I dont want to put him down

but, at the same time, I know nothing about dating. What does dating really

mean to people? Am I missing out something that people enjoy? What am I

supposed to do?

Hey, brad.

Good morning, my son! So would you?

Yes, but you need to tell me how to date with a women.

No problem, son! Come in and take a seat. His voice was

confident; like a said, he must have been a guy like George Clooney.

So, what do you want to know, son?

Um, everything you know.

Ha-ha! Okay, let me start,he seems to be so happy. Im glad.

Dating involves informal, un-chaperoned, male-female interaction

with no specific commitment1. Dating is something different from marriage

that it does not require the eternal commitment for the partner. So,

probably dating wont give you that much pressure while you still hang out

with a woman.

I see the definition of dating, but how do I date? What should I do?

Well, back in the nineteenth century, men used to call out women

and usually hung out at womens houses2. Those were pretty hard times


10/28

because men really didnt have any control on dating. If a woman doesnt

like you, she wont respond to your call. Even in case she likes you, it is

hard to make a progress since you date a woman at her house; but

generally the women were very angelic3 and romantic so once you start

dating with a woman, it was the one of the best joy you would ever get.

However since the separate sphere limits many interactions between men

and women, those days were hard times for men, but it didnt cost lots of

money for men back then at east4. Oh! I also have seen how Mark dated

with his women in his time, and there were not many differences. In early

twentieth century, Mark starts to go to school and work with women5.

Since there were lots of sexual criminals happened, people were very

cautious about dating. But Mark was known as a decent guy, and he didnt

seem to have much trouble in dating. Mark used to go to the dance halls

and cabarets for dating6 and he met his wife first at the cabarets! John and

Maggie were a romantic couple. Maggie always wanted to marry John, but

John rejected her proposals.. John was afraid of getting married in his

early life even though other people did it like a trend. He thought the

marriage would break their romance since he had witnessed lots of young

married couples got divorced7. Your mom and dad lived together8 before

they got married; however they did not live in there own apartment but


11/28

with us! Isnt that funny? He seems to be delighted while thinking about

the past.

Yeah kind of, didnt you mention that those were happened in

nineteenth and twentieth centuries, but we live in twenty-first century,

you know.

Oh, thats right son. We live in twenty-first century. However, you

will realize someday that it is all about your truthfulness and a real feeing

of love. When you find a woman who understands you and love you just as

who you are, you should never miss her. Thats why I married to Lora.

Thanks, grandpa. We will talk more later. He seems to get tired

so I let him take a rest and come out his room. I felt like it was a bit of

history lecture, but it is always enjoyable talking with Brad. And I need to

know more about dating but I was getting hungry; and suddenly, walking

by the couch, I hear Katharine is singing her poems:

This knot I knit

To know the thing I know not yet,

This night that I may see

Who my husband is to be,

How he goes and what he wears,And what he does all days and years

I see the moon

And the moon sees me,

And the moon sees somebody

That I want to see9


12/28

3

*

There had been more history lessons from Brad until the break was

over; before I left the house, I made sure with Brad that I will try my best

to get a nice lady; I promised him not only because I wanted him feeling

better but also because I started getting interested in Dating; I really


13/28

wanted to try out for dating. Our generation has been changed in many

ways from the past, especially in communication technology. While Brad

was writing letters, I do texting; while Brad was hearing news in few days,

I can look it up on Facebook or Twitter instantly; and while Brad didnt

have to spend lots of money, everything requires money in our time.

Everything. I am not sure where is this Capitalism leading us toward to.

However, he claimed that we have some common things in Dating:

Truthfulness and true love.

*

Tuesday, January 10th 2011

As soon as arrived at the State College airport, I texted Erin. Erin is

the only woman that I know on the campus. We went to same high school,

and she lives two blocks from my house in Sacramento. This is ninth

years since we have been friend after she moved into Sacramento.

Hey, Erin! / Hey, hows Brad? / he got better over the break. :)

Um, I need your help though. / lol, what is that? / I need a date. lol /

What? lol!! It is too early for April fools jokes, Parky. / Well, I am

serious though, lol / Are you sure you need a date? / Yes. :) / Hmm,

Okay then, give me five minutes. / Thanks, Erin :) /

It feels so weird after I did something that I have never done in my

life; it feels like I am a baby who just learned how to stand up.


14/28

*

After five minutes, she gave me the lists of her friends and asked

me to go on Facebook to look them up. Everyones relationship status was

single on Facebook10; some girls hid their relationship statuses, but I

assumed they were single. I picked the one with big brown eyes with a

gorgeous shoulder; I chose her not because of her appearance, but

because she was majoring in Accounting as I was. It seemed to be a great

opportunity. Okay, lets go Parker!

Erin! :) / Hey, did you find any one interested? / I did! lol /

Awesome! Whos that? / Erin Kennedy. / Okay, I will hook her up with

you! / Thanks, Erin! :)

I am so excited that now it is time for me to prove myself as a man

like a Brad. I really appreciate that I have such a nice friend like Erin. It

doesnt seem far away the day when Brad will be proud of me more than

he used to. As I stand up, my phone vibrates.

Is a dinner on next Friday night okay with you?

Yes.

*

11:30 p.m. Thursday, January 19th 2011


15/28

In last Christmas break, I not only learned about Dating from Brad

but also experimented myself with a program called Everyman Sleep

Cycle. It basically enables a person to sleep less but makes people still

function well in their life. So I take a three- hours core sleep with three

naps during a day. It is not rough as it sounds like. When I first heard of it

from my friend, I was not sure whether it really worked; but now I am

enjoying it. I feel like I live more than other people do.

After taking a shower, I am reviewing some notes that I have taken

from Brads lectures about Dating for tomorrow: how to start the

conversation, how to make her laugh with you, some kinds of questions

she likes, etc. Though I know those tips are obsolete, I think it is better to

do something than do nothing. Since it is my first date in my life, Im really

nervous. I want to go to the gym but it must be closed by now. The school

gym always closes unfairly early; they dont care about the schedule of

the people like me who study hard until late at night. Well, for the better

performance, I better go to bed.

Good night, Parker.

*

6:00 p.m. Friday, January 20th 2011

I am standing in front of the restaurant that Erin and I will have

dinner. I bought some flowers for her as Brad recommended; he said it is


16/28

better to be formal and treat women nicely. I try to text Erin about my

clothes and the place where I am standing. As I look up after sending text

to her, Erin come and stands in front of me.

Hey, are you a friend of Erin, Parker?

Yes, it is nice to meeting you Erin. Here is your flower. I bought it

on the way.

Oh, thank you. She seems little awkward that happy but not bad,

either.

Let go inside, it is cold out here! I say nicely.

Okay,

After our dishes come out, I start to ask some questions as we are

eating; the questions that Brad gave to me. Who is your favorite writer?

What is your hobby? And what kind job you want to get after college? Etc.

Though I like the conversation, she has kept holding her iPhone on her left

hand and checking it in every minute. She must be a Facebook addict or

Twitter addict11. Almost at the end of dinner, I try to pay bill with my

check card but she ask the waiter to split the bill; and she says she would

like to pay for her since we both are student12

. I was going to watch a

movie with her after we finish dinner, but I excuse myself, come back to

my dorm, and call Erin.

Erin,


17/28

Hey, whats happened? Erin is quite upset!

I dont think she is my type. I felt like I was talking to a half person.

A half of her was talking with her friends on her iPhone.

Im sorry. By the way, what kind of things you told her? She told

me that she felt like she was eating dinner with her grandfather.

Oh, I tried to make conversation with some tips that Brad gave me.

Haha that is embarrassing.

It is okay though. Since I dont want to see you being gloomy, I

want you to meet some more girls! How do you like that?

Thanks, Erin but I might need some time.

Okay, that is totally fine! And dont worry, you are a nice guy.

Thanks Erin, good night.

I texted Erin and said thank you for showing up and having a nice

dinner with me13. I dont blame on Brad for todays result. So many things

have changed from the past and people are diversified and live in different

realities under the Capitalism system where we can find whatever we

want as long as we have money. It is not bad at all that we can get almost

whatever we want, but I really want to feel how different would it be living

in the society where many people share values within limited sources of

industrial products and entertainments, where people write letters to each


18/28

other and count days until they get letters from each other, and where

Brad and Katharine used to live.

It is 11:50 p.m. but I am not sleepy at all because of Everyman

Sleep Cyclewont let me so. Anyway, I will do better next time. Just need

to find a right person. While I am looking outside the window, I hear some

noise that was a mixture of voices of two people with consistent beating

sounds through the wall right next to my bed. Well, at least, that young

couple found a common interest in their relationship. Since I live in the

freshmen dorm, they must be freshmen though14. It is pretty cold outside

but I might be going for running. Perhaps, dating might be my thing.

4


19/28

*

Saturday, December 24 2016

Today is my first day of Christmas break after I got my first job at

Goldman Sachs Inc. in New York City. Though my department rewarded

only two days Christmas break for new employees, the bonus options

were decent but I havent chosen one yet; the first one was a 40 percent

discount on any Mercedes S-class series, the second one was two tickets

for best seats in any Broad Way show and the last one was a 1.5 carat

diamond ring. I might be going to choose the first option.

*

I did not know what was the dinner plan for tonight until Erins

family showed up in front of our door as it always used to be. Its been

awhile since I met her last time at her graduation party. I didnt have my

party since Goldman Sachs picked me up in the spring semester of my

senior year. As I expected, she became a part-time journalist for TIME

magazine. She always talked about how great it is that Penn State had a

good journalism program. And she made it.

After having dinner with Erins family, I get a chance to talk with

Erin individually.

Hey, Erin.


20/28

Hey, Parker. Sacramento isnt a real Sacramento without you!

Everybody misses you so much.

I missed you, too. Hows everything?

Its all good. Just Im not good at finding my other half, like

someone that I have known for years!

Come on! Those girls whom you hook me up with werent any good!

Haha, I tried to find a date several times more through my college year

but failed. I dont feel bad though, I am actually glad that I didnt date with

anyone that I tried; but it seems surprising that Erin doesnt have a date.

There were many boys whom asked her out through her college years but

she never went out with them.

Anyway, what is your plan for tomorrow? Erin asked.

I dont know yet, probably watching some Charlie brown videos.

haha

That must be fun.Im leaving Sacramento tonight at 2:00 a.m.

That was totally unexpected response.

Wait, why?

I have been promoted to a full-time journalist and assigned to the

main centre in London, and sadly the job orientation starts on next

Monday, December 26th.


21/28

Congratulation! I knew you would made it! I try to raise my voice

to make me sounds happy, but I dont know why I dont feel happy for her

success.

Anyway, I have to go. Packing up my stuff. It was really nice to see

you back here before I leave!

I am so happy, too. Keep in touch, Erin. She steps out the door

and I am looking at her back. Walking few steps away from our house, she

turns back and says,

I really missed you, Parker. You always look nice in that sweater.

I missed you, too.

*

I kept looking at Erin until she went into her house. She walked

slowly than she used to. Then, I came in and sat right next to Katharine on

the couch. Katharine stopped speaking since Brad passed away in last

summer. She might have realized she would be the next one. Why didnt I

feel any good about Erins success? I cant believe she is going to London.

Tonight might have been our last day to see each other, physically. I was

very uncomfortable. However, since it was warm in front of the fireplace,

I was getting melted down.

*


22/28

I might have fallen asleep for little bit. Home is always good with

my family, friends, and...

As I standing up from the couch, Katharine suddenly starts singing

her poem:

Sail, sail, lonely, lonesome turkey buzzard!

Sail to the East, sail to the West,

Sail to the one that I love best.

Flap your wings before you fly out of sight,

That I may see my true love before Saturday night15

.

You probably know what to do, Parker. Go, time is ticking.

Katharine said.

I look at my watch. It is 11:20 p.m. I cant believe I fell asleep when

I should have thought what to do. Everything was clear; there is always a

reason for every single bit of our feelings. But sometimes we forget how

we truly feel about someone, and something; or try to ignore how we feel;

and once we miss the chance, we are busy to justify that was not what I

want. How miserable is that? Now, I know what I really want; and I dont

want to miss a thing. I must go.

*

12:30 a.m. Sacramento Airport

As soon as walking into the airport, I look up on screen.


23/28

TIME / FLIGHT / DESTINATION / CHECK GATE / REMARK

2:00 / TK1053 / LONDON / A/B / ON TIME

Gate A/B is on the other side. Fortunately, the airport isnt crowded.

It wont be that hard. My heart was beating any more than it used to be.

A cheetah is running for its target. Though a bunch of tall African

reeds limits his sight, he does not fear of not seeing but believing in it.

Though his body gets tired and he gets dizzy, he pushes himself harder

for fear of losing a chance that may come once in a lifetime. And finally

Erin!

She looks back. I smile.

Hey, how did you get here? She smiles. Then I gave her a big hug

instead of explaining how many tickets I might have gotten on the way

here.

I love you, I dont want to miss you anymore, and I dont want to

miss any British guy fall in love with you.

They wouldnt. You have had me since we met at the first sight.

We are hugging. I feel good. I did not miss the one that I most like in

the world. Perhaps, Brad was right. Thought there was so many things

have been changed from the past generations, and our culture might be

different from them, we share the same value when we try to find our

partners: A true feeling of love for the partner.


24/28

-END-


25/28

Reference:

1.Murstein, B. I. (1974). Love, sex and marriage through theages. New York: Springer.

2.Cate, Rodney M. (1992). Courtship. Sage Series of CloseRelationship

3.Coontz, S. (1988). The social origins of private life: Ahistory of American families 1600-1900. New York: Verso

4.Bailey, Beth L. (1988). From Front Porch to Back Seat.The Johns Hopkinds University Press


26/28

5.Rothman, E.K. (1984). Hand and Hearts: A history ofcourtship in American. New York: Basic Books.

6.Rothman, E.K. (1984). Hand and Hearts: A history ofcourtship in American. New York: Basic Books.

7.Burgess, E.W. & Wallin P.W. (1953). Engagement andmarriage. New York: Lippincott

8.Macklin E.D. (1972). Heterosexual cohabitation amongunmarried students. Family Coordinator, 21, 463-472

9.Emrich, Duncan. (1970). The Folklore of Love andCourtship. American Heritage Press

10.Suddath, Claire. "Your Facebook Relationship Status: It'sComplicated - TIME."Breaking News, Analysis, Politics, Blogs, News

Photos, Video, Tech Reviews - TIME.com. 8 May 2009. Web. 02 Dec.

2011.

.


27/28

11.Griffin, Matt. "Relationship Rules: Text Messaging - AskMen."AskMen - Men's Online Magazine. Web. 02 Dec. 2011.

.

12.McGuire, Judy. "Dating Rules: Who Should Pay and When - CNN."Featured Articles from CNN. 19 Feb. 2009. Web. 02 Dec. 2011.

.

13.Cooper, Deborrah. "10 Rules For Texting And Dating | DeborrahCooper | YourTango." Smart Talk About Love | YourTango. 23 June

2009. Web. 02 Dec. 2011..

14. Moore, Kristin A. "Adolescent Sexual Behavior, Pregnancy, &

Parenthood Executive Summary." Office of the Assistant Secretary for

Planning and Evaluation, HHS. Web. 02 Dec. 2011..

15. Emrich, Duncan. (1970). The Folklore of Love and

Courtship. American Heritage Press


28/28

a christmas eve in sacramento

Documents