597l negotiation skills - active listening

8/20/2019 597L Negotiation Skills - Active Listening

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! Listening re#uires a response fro$ the listener, so as you

listen, you should prepare a response

o listen actively, organi0e, su$$ari0e, review,interpret and criti#ue often as you listen

c *hat are your response options when another person is

speaking5

6eflective responses

7ro!ing responses

8eflecting responses

Advising responses

9 6eflective 6esponses

(the therapists choice)

he purpose of this type of response is to co$$unicate the

$essage that was heard and to indicate active listening

A reflective response involves $irroring !ack to the

co$$unicator the $essage that was heard and

co$$unicating acceptance of that person

6eflective responses involve paraphrasing and clarifying

the $essage "t is not si$ply $i$icking the $essage

upportive listeners contri!ute $eaning, understanding,

and acceptance to the conversation his is the $ost

supportive type of listening



6: ,) F%6 6,F ,+(";, 6,)7%<),)=

□ hese are the kinds of responses that are reflective, although

you should avoid repeating the sa$e response over and over

-a$ples include >?ou feel that ,> >Are you saying that,> or

>*hat " heard you say was >

□ Avoid an e-change in which listeners do not contri!ute e#ually to

the conversation, where the listener is only a $i$ic

7araphrasing should deepen understanding of the $essage

□ 6espond to e-pressed feelings !efore responding to content

*hen feelings are a part of the $essage, they represent the

$ost i$portant part to the co$$unicator Feelings often stand

in the way of co$$unicating clearly 7eople often $ust unload

their feelings !efore they can !e rational An e-a$ple is @"t

see$s to $e that you are really angry a!out this

□ 6espond with e$pathy and acceptance $pathic listening is

de$onstrating an understanding of the personBs situation or

feelings "t is not saying, >" know how you feel> he truth is,

none of us really @knows how another person feels as

everyones life e-perience is different "t is reflecting !ack to

that person what you understand their feelings to !e An e-a$ple

is @" understand that you feel passionate a!out your position on

this

□ Avoid e-pressing agree$ent or disagree$ent with yourresponses ?our goal is to clarify the $essage

1 7ro!ing 6esponses=

his type of response asks the co$$unicator to clarify what

was 'ust said or to ela!orate

7ro!ing responses are especially helpful in turning conflicts into

consensus, vague state$ents into specific ones, or changing a

personCfocus into a pro!le$Cfocus



9 *hen the co$$unicatorBs state$ent does not contain enough

infor$ation or the $essage is not clear, an ela!oration pro!e

should !e used= >+an you tell $e $ore a!out that5>

1 *hen the $essage is not clear, a clarification pro!e is !est=>*hat do you $ean !y that5>

. *hen the co$$unicator is !eing evasive a!out a previous

#uestion, a repetition pro!e should !e used= >%nce again, what

happened that has caused you to !elieve 5>

7ro!ing responses are particularly powerful in negotiation he

$ore you ask, the $ore infor$ation youll gain

. 8eflecting 6esponses=

his type of response changes the su!'ect and is rarely helpful in

active listening %ften this response is interpreted as

disregarding the other personBs $essage and people $ay even

feel that the conversation has !een @hi'acked !y you

An e-a$ple of a deflecting response is=

>" understand !ecause so$ething si$ilar happened to $e> (and

then the @listener !eco$es the speaker as he or she ela!orates

on the e-perience

D dvising 6esponses=

his is a response that provides direction, advice, evaluation,

instructions or opinion his is only appropriate when theco$$unicator is in clear need of direction his response is

never appropriate in negotiation !ecause

9 "t shifts control of the co$$unication fro$ the speaker to

the listener



1 "t shuts off further input fro$ the speaker

. "t conveys a lack of faith in the co$petence of the

co$$unicator

D +onversations often !egin with the speaker indicating that

they are seeking your advice (as when a su!ordinate asks

for advice fro$ the !oss, a friend asks for advice or a

partner indicates he or she is seeking guidance Most

people who indicate that they are seeking advice are $ore

likely seeking understanding, acceptance or a >sounding

!oard>

597l negotiation skills - active listening

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