30 quotes by mark twain

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<ul><li><p>7/29/2019 30 quotes by mark twain</p><p> 1/3</p><p>30 Quotes by Mark Twain</p><p>1. Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too</p><p>great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally</p><p>abstain from total abstinence itself.</p><p>2. Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of</p><p>eighty and gradually approach eighteen.</p><p>3. The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the</p><p>American was, however, one degree better off than the average</p><p>Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father</p><p>was.</p><p>4. Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some</p><p>observers hold that there isnt any. But this wrongs the jackass.</p><p>5. There has been only one Christian. They caught him and crucified him</p><p>early.</p><p>6. There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white</p><p>mans notion that he less savage than the other savages.</p><p>7. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in</p><p>society.</p></li><li><p>7/29/2019 30 quotes by mark twain</p><p> 2/3</p><p>8. The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he</p><p>can become until he goes abroad. I speak now, of course, in the</p><p>supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is</p><p>not already a consummate ass.</p><p>9. The report of my illness grew out of his (James Clemens) illness. The</p><p>report of my death was an exaggeration.</p><p>10. Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your</p><p>dog would go in</p><p>11. Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide,</p><p>and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink.</p><p>12. Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you</p><p>please.</p><p>13. Ah, well, I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am Gods fool, and all</p><p>Hisworkmust be contemplated with respect.</p><p>14. I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion</p><p>and politics a mans reasoning powers are not above the monkeys.</p><p>15. I would rather have my ignorance than another mans knowledge,</p><p>because I have so much more of it.</p><p>16. In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made</p><p>school boards.</p>http://listverse.com/2008/07/07/20-great-mark-twain-quotes/http://listverse.com/2008/07/07/20-great-mark-twain-quotes/http://listverse.com/2008/07/07/20-great-mark-twain-quotes/</li><li><p>7/29/2019 30 quotes by mark twain</p><p> 3/3</p><p>17. Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the</p><p>undertaker will be sorry.</p><p>18. Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he</p><p>is hollering about.</p><p>19. To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and</p><p>no trouble.</p><p>20. It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three</p><p>unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience,</p><p>and the prudence never to practice either.</p><p>21. Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because</p><p>we are not the person involved.</p><p>22. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.</p><p>23. It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and</p><p>not deserve them.</p><p>24. Some people get an eduction without going to college; the rest get it</p><p>after they get out.</p><p>25. The trouble isn't that there are too many fools, but that the lightning isn't</p><p>distributed right.</p><p>26. Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to</p><p>pause and reflect.</p><p>27. To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.</p><p>28. Religion consists of a set of things which the average man thinks he</p><p>believes and wishes he was certain.</p><p>29. I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.</p><p>30. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes.</p></li></ul>