20th · web viewsouth africa went 3-2 up in the series with a win reminiscent of their...

December 2012

18th. Kleinmond4BBB Bogey+

10 Fred & Andre F.7 Michel & Richard, Chris & Vivian, Mannes & Brian, David R. & Doug6 Peter Thom. & Geoff5 Dave S. & John H., Koos & David N.4 Ian & Richard3 Koos & Malcolm-1 Vic & Keith-2 Dave B & Mike

11th. Theewaterskloof4BBB Stableford

46 David N. & Tony J.42 David R. & Quentin; Brian (guest) & John C.41 Malcolm & Geoff40 Koos & Quentin; Brian (guest) & Pat39 Ian & Peter Thom.37 Peter Ther. & Dave S.; Peter Ther, & Keith G.36 Arne & Mike34 Michel & Hugh; John H. & Jerry (guest)

4th. KleinmondRSA v ROW

RSA ROWH. Frangs & P. Dewil 6.5 T. Jones & K. Gillott 11.5S. & K. Seal 10.5 D. Naylor & P. Thomas 7.5M. & V. van Zyl 7 D. Smith & M. Graham 11P. Theron & Q. Mitchell 11 M. Lazenby & J. Tunstall 7I. Newman & L. Roelofse 8.5 G. Crowther & P. Sulley 9.5L. Kruger & F. Garrett 9.5 C. Martin & J. Cheesbrough 8.5A. Hattingh & D. Rade 8.5 A. Andersen & J. Horobin 9.5G. Wilson & G. Sauermann 9.5 J Weir & D Ross 8.5D. Bunn & N. Penfold 10 A. Smith & M Maury 8N. Rosseau & K. Roelofse 10 J. Flynn & A. Calder 8

Total 91 Total 89

South Africa went 3-2 up in the series with a win reminiscent of their compatriots on the rugby field: a narrow victory, contentious selection and a lacklustre performance dotted with the occasional show of promise.The two disputed decisions which went to the TMO were decided one each way and so at least nobody can blame the ref.In view of events this year, the Rest of the World team is already casting its net to see who can be brought into next year’s team while the Boks are starting up a campanology club to cater for their numerous ringers.

November 2012

27th.KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Log)

40 David N., Tony J.; 37 Arne, Ian, Geoff, John H.; 36 Michel, Alan S.; 35 Chris, Dave S.; 33 Mannes.; 32 Nigel, David R.; 31 Peter Ther.; 30 Mike, Andre F.; 29 Peter S., John F., Quentin, Sam, Koos; 28 Peter Thom.; 27 Doug, Alan C.; 26 Keith G.; 25 Gordon, John T.; 18 Hugh It was a windy day in many respects as, with just one week to go before the big one, most of the Seffricans lost their bottle and only 1 managed to make the top 10.At the other end of the table, some streetwise foreigners kept their scores low to avoid punishment from the racist handicapping system. No less than 4 foreigners have been cut in the last week for “exceptional” scores but no locals have suffered the same fate.Despite Huge’s efforts to level the playing field, the Europeans have asked Helen Zille to intervene and send in the army next Tuesday. 20th. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Log)

43 Ian; 41 Dave S.; 39 David R.; 38 Fred; 37 Alan S.; 36 Koos, John H., Alan C., David N.; 34 Michel, Arne; 33 Peter S.; 32 John T., Chris; 31 Andre F., Geoff; 30 Gordon; 29 John F., Quentin; 28 Tony J., Pat; 27 Mike; 25 Keith G., Hugh; 20 Peter Ther.; 16 Peter Thom. There were angry scenes on Tuesday after indications that the SAGA handicap system is biased in favour of locals.This was after the winning Seffrican retained his grossly inflated handicap whereas the second-placed Pom was savagely cut by 2 strokes – and all this just 2 weeks before the big annual international encounter.The foreigners have demanded an official R & A enquiry and have threatened to make the fairways ungovernable with scenes of Morris dancing, caber tossing, vin rouge quaffing and Guinness swilling.

13th. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Log)

40 Dave B., Andre F.; 39 Koos; 38 Alan C.; 37 Sam; 35 David N., Ian, Tony J.; 33 Quentin, Arne; 32 Peter Thom., Dave S.; 31 Geoff, John F., Mike; 30 David R.; 29 John H., Gordon, Peter S.; 26 Keith G., John T.; 23 Pat

As the day of the big encounter approaches, both teams are desperate to get their timing and individual performances right.The South Africans, as usual, are tending to go for it a bit prematurely. Smokie and the Bandit were especially guilty along with Ex-Captain The Prof. and they risk being a spent force when it really matters.The Europeans are going at it more sedately and look likely to peak at the ideal time for the most satisfactory result.Pat the Hat has lost all sense of timing.

6th. HermanusIndividual Stableford (Log)

40 Andre F.; 39 Ian; 38 Michel, John H.; 36 Peter S.; 35 Richard, Louwtjie, Geoff; 34 Tony H., Dave S., Fred; 33 David R.; 32 Sam; 31 Chris, Gordon; 30 Alan C., Arne, Alan S., David N.; 28 John C.; 26 Hugh; 25 Peter Theron (guest); 24 Tony J.; 23 Koos, Peter T.; 22 Mannes; 21 Pat

In order to avoid a repeat of last week’s vicious editorial censorship, this week’s report has been pre-sanitised.What a pleasure it was to see that fine ex-Springbok athlete overcome his punishing handicap to win yet again and also to share the Landlord’s Cup with everyone’s favourite Irishman. It was a great pity that he dropped one of his prizes but the DOGS will surely have a collection to replace it.It was sad that Pat Dewil travelled all the way from Pringle Bay only to have the desperately bad luck to finish in last place. Better luck next week.Not the same is it?

Landlord’s Cup

1 Andre F. 40 Tony H. 34 742 Richard 35 Louwtjie 35 703= Dave S. 34 Fred 34 683= Sam 32 Peter S. 36 685 John C. 28 Ian 39 676 David N. 30 Geoff 35 657 Alan C. 30 David R. 33 638 Peter T. 23 John H. 38 619= Alan S. 30 Arne 30 60

9= Mannes 22 Michel 38 6011 Tony J. 24 Gordon 31 5512 Chris 31 Koos 23 5413 Pat 21 Hugh 26 47

October 2012


40 Dave S.; 38 Andre F., Richard; 36 Alan C., Mannes; 34 Mike; 33 Michel, Chris; 32 David N., Koos; 31 John C., Hugh, Quentin, Ian, Pat; 30 Gordon; 29 John T.; 28 David R.; 25 John H.

DOGSbody’s unusually outstanding form led to accusations that his recent contacts in the medical and pharmaceutical worlds may have included Lance Armstrong.Results in general were good, though, on a windy day and from a field which was reduced in no less than 4 cases by problems with DOGS’ wives.OralBMan’s life was also a bitch.

23rd. WorcesterIndividual Stableford (Log)


41 Andre F.; 40 Koos; 37 Fred; 35 Andre H.; 34 Peter S.; 33 Doug, John H.; 31 Keith G., Dave S.; 30 Mike; 29 Pat, John C., Mannes, Andy (guest); 27 Peter T.; 26 Sam; 24 Alan S.

A stiff South-Easter couldn’t blow the DOGS off track on Tuesday as they managed to produce some very respectable results under the circumstances.There were birdies aplenty and even an eagle was spotted.

The Ex-Poledancer yet again led the hunt.Laser Smith couldn’t believe his new eyes as he claimed the hat for the first time. Son of Laser captured the moment for posterity and promised not to let the folks back home know but his finger slipped on the “Send” button.


21 Dave S.; 20 Peter S., Alan S.; 19 John C., Alan C.; 18 Andre H., Koos; 17 Nigel; 16 Gordon; 15 Hugh, Tony B. (guest); 14 Mike, Mannes, Ian; 13 John H.; 12 David R., Peter T., David N., Louwtjie; 10 Keith G.

Accusations of corruption marred the day this week as the DOGS were lured to Kleinmond on the pretext that the weather would improve. When this did not happen, DOGSBODY reduced the contest to 9 holes and declared himself the winner.A spokesperson said the accusations were political and were linked to a “third force”, thought to be SAWeather.The Yorkshire Ripper would be happy with some force of any description.

2nd. HermanusIndividual Stableford (Log)

40 Peter S.; 37 Gordon; 33 Andre F., Koos; 32 Fred, Andre H.; 31 Michel, David R., Brian (guest); 30 Peter T.; 29 Ian, Quentin, Mannes, Geoff; 28 Dave S.; 27 Doug; 26 Alan S., Hugh; 25 John C.; 23 Keith G.

A pleasant day at Hermanus was spoilt when a number of exceptional performances triggered a drugs test. Half-time Shirley, the eventual winner on his home track, tested positive for Chicken Jalfrezi while The Naked Chef, The Ex-Poledancer and The Prof. were all found to have traces of blood in their alcohol. The Yorkshire Ripper’s results were negative.No action can be taken, however, as the samples disappeared and no one can decide who is responsible for taking the urine.

September 2012


43 Andre F.; 38 Keagan (guest); 36 Geoff, Michel, Koos; 35 John C.; 33 Louwtjie; 32 Hugh; 31 Dave S., Mannes; 30 Quentin; 29 Andre H.; 27 Pat; 26 Gordon; 25 Ian, Doug; 24 Sam; 23 Keith G.; 22 Peter T.

A Frenchman, a Scot, an Afrikaner and a Yorkshireman walked into a pub. The joke was that they had just played golf together and had to decide which language to speak.T’ Yorkshireman lost when they chose English.The Ex-Poledancer’s score was no joke though as he leapt to a massive 43.Cruiser Thomas didn’t see anything funny.


36 Andre F.; 35 Alan S., Koos; 34 Michel; 32 Dave S., Doug; 31 Geoff; 30 Quentin; 29 Mike, Andre H., Sam, Mannes; 28 Peter T.; 26 Ian; 24 Keith G. When you get to the age of some of the DOGS you grab every opportunity to enjoy life’s little pleasures. Under the circumstances the chance to play around on Tuesday was a surprise and the small pack girded its loins.Half-time Shirley was desperate to join in but just couldn’t raise the necessary energy. The Naked Chef pulled out at the last minute.The last pairings took forever but eventually finished with the Ex-Polevaulter on top.The Yorkshire Ripper came last.

11th. ArabellaIndividual Stableford (Log)

39 Tony R.(guest); 35 John R.(guest); 34 Mannes; 32 Louwtjie; 31 Peter S.; 30 Andre F., Gordon; 29 Fred, David R.; 28 Max (guest), Bill (guest); 27 George (guest); 26 Richard, Geoff; 25 Marius, Alan S.; 24 Dave S., Quentin; 23 Ian, Michel, Mike; 22 Keith G., Tony B. (guest); 21 Peter T., Koos; 17 Pat; 16 Doug; 13 Clinton (guest)

The DOGS took advantage of group lessons at Arabella on Tuesday.The first lesson was from the greenkeeper on “tricky pin positions” but he seriously misjudged the calibre of golfer on the course.The second lesson was from guest Tony Runkle with the theme “so you pups think you’re too old to play golf?”The third lesson was specifically on losing: “if you’re going to run away from the presentation, Jo’burg is not far enough” and (especially for Dougal) “losing isn’t as easy as you think”.Here endeth the lesson.


35 Andre F.; 33 Louwtjie; 32 Peter S., Andre H.; 31 Geoff, Mannes; 30 Alan S.; 29 Dave S., Pat, Ian; 28 Sam, David R.; 26 Tony (guest); 25 Peter T., Marius,

Mike, Gordon; 24 Louis (guest), Keith, Nigel; 23 Doug; 21 Koos; 20 Quentin; 19 Clinton (guest); 11 Gerrit (guest)

Your reporter must apologise for last week’s allegations of handicap massaging. Low scores again on the first Tuesday in the month in fact indicate a lack of golfing ability rather than integrity.At least, and unusually, everyone made it to the course, if a little dazed and confused, after a last-minute change of venue.The Ex-Poledancer limped over the bar with a mere 35 to win. Son of Prof. ran off to Seoul to avoid wearing the hat – a new all-comers distance record.

August 2012


38 Dave B.; 37 Louwtjie; 35 Geoff; 34 Andre F., Richard; 33 Alan S.; 32 Doug; 31 Andre H., Mannes, Marius; 30 Dave S.; 29 Sam, Ian, Michel, Peter S., Pat; 28 David R.; 27 Keith G.; 26 Gordon; 25 Mike, Koos; 24 Hugh; 22 John T.; 20 Peter T. You can tell the time of year as the weather gets more Spring-like and the field gets bigger. You can tell the time of month as the scores get lower and you can hear the sound of mass handicap-massaging.Only The Old Pro and Biggles forgot that this was the last Tuesday of the month and mistakenly posted good scores.Cruiser Thomas cannot be accused as his handicap is as massaged as you can get. For personal health reasons he volunteered to give the hat its annual Spring clean.

21st. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Log)

39 Ian; 35 Keith G., Doug; 34 Louwtjie; 33 Fred, Graham (guest); 32 Andre H., Peter T.; 31 Gordon, Geoff; 30 Alan S., Andre F., Mannes; 29 Mike, Dave S., Hugh; 28 Peter S.; 25 Marius., Richard; 22 Ryan (guest); 18 John T.; 17 Koos

Neither the weather nor the new municipal bye-laws could keep the DOGS on a leash any longer.The 3-week lay-off took its toll though with only The Ex-Used-House-Salesman (or El Bandito as he is sometimes known) managing to excel despite battling with dogflu.There was more illness in evidence as The Prof. returned from his holiday to the real world with a severe case of The Balkans.

July 2012


41 Ian; 38 Andre F.; 35 Doug; 34 Dave B.; 33 Geoff; 32 Dave S.; 31 Mike; 30 Gordon, David R.; 29 Alan S.; 27 Hugh, Keith G.; 26 Peter T.; 24 Richard; 23 Pat The Kleinmond sunshine saw South Africa continue its current streak of sporting success as the Ex-Used-House-Salesman overcame the rest of a field depleted by Man-flu, Gout, Amnesia, Weddedblissitis and other elderly gentleman’s complaints.The winner then totally confused the handicapping software by entering a low gross score this late in the month.The hat presentation is now permanently delayed by one week as Pat of the Bushveld was the latest victim to do a runner.


38 Fred, Peter S.; 36 Dave S. 34 Geoff; 33 Andre F., Keith G.; 32 Hugh; 31 Alan S.; 30 Andre H.; 29 Peter T.; 28 Quentin, Ian, Pat; 26 Gordon There were no excuses this week as Kleinmond was bathed in warm winter sunshine with no wind.Steady Freddy took advantage to post 38 points and pip Half-time Shirley Sulley (nee Scully) on countback.The trend to rush off early due to an “urgent appointment” continues by those who believe they may have won the hat. This week The Naked Chef’s fears were confirmed but the presentation was held over until next week.


32 Andre H.; 30 Alan S., Pat; 29 Ian, Peter S.; 28 Hugh; 27 Quentin, Geoff, Sam; 26 Dave S.; 25 Andre F., Gordon; 22 Peter T., Marius; 21 Keagan (guest), Keith G.

It was a game of 3 halves.The front 9 was a battle against the wind. The wind won.The back 9 was the calm after the storm. The Diver’s Mate won and The Yorkshire Ripper lost.The 19th. was when we said goodbye to The Little Jockey from Liverpool. We all lost.And he never told us his middle name was Huge!!

3rd. HermanusIndividual Stableford (Log)

40 Geoff; 36 Louwtjie; 35 Peter S., Ian, Gordon, Hugh; 34 Keith G., Jack; 33 Fred, Doug; 32 Mike, Koos, Brian (guest); 31 Michel, Andre H.; 30 Dave S., Peter T., Clinton (guest); 26 Pat, Alan S.; 25 Mannes; 21 Stuart (guest)

The bright winter sunshine at Hermanus caused an outbreak of temporary colour blindness among some of the more elderly DOGS causing them to mistake the blue tee markers for the whites. These forward tees are where one would normally find the ladies and Jenny must have been looking on with amused approval.One to take advantage was Up-and-Under Crowther who showed that you can teach an old DOG new tricks with a massive 40 points.All 3 guests had to rush off before the presentations and in Stuart’s case you can see why.

June 2012

26th. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Log)(Shortened to 9-holes)

19: Michel; 15 Sam, Ian; 14 Dave B., Pat, Alan S.; 13 Dave S.; 11 Jonny, Gordon, Fred; 10 Geoff, Peter S., Koos, Doug; 6 Keith G.

Every dog has its day and the DOGS had to call it a day after just nine at Kleinmond due to excessive wind preventing normal functioning.The Sporting Cock, however, with a superb 19, seemed mysteriously not to be affected by the condition and was subsequently tested. Traces of Eno, Rennie and Wind-eze were discovered.The Yorkshire Ripper, on the other hand, blew out.Due to this week’s early finish, the Hermanus pub trade has officially emerged from recession.

19th. KleinmondScramble

61.7 (73) Koos, Doug, Dave S.63.0 (72) Peter S., Peter T., Andre H., Gordon63.5 (75) Alan S., Clinton (guest), Ian, Geoff66.5 (75) Sam, Marius, Hugh, Jonny

A perfect day at Kleinmond saw the DOGS attempt a Scramble. Some, however, were unsure what a Scramble is all about. The Naked Chef brought along a dozen eggs and Biggles was last seen over the South Atlantic searching for The Red Baron.The eventual winners, though, dove-tailed so well that they almost became one person - Prof. Dougal MacDogsbody, that perfect blend of the good, the bad and the ugly.Next week it’s back to the serious business of the log and collecting points for the Race to Tokai.

12th. KleinmondMedal

76 Gordon; 77 Ian; 78 Doug; 79 Koos; 80 Dave S.; 81 Tony H., Keith G., Jonny; DNF: various boys, mice and goats.

On a day to sort out the men from the boys (or mice) and the sheep from the goats only half the field for the Royal Kleinmond Individual Medal managed to finish due to a fear of water and high numbers. The water fear was particularly worrying in the case of the Diver’s Mate who has only just got his licence and Biggles who risks losing his if he does not complete a bad weather landing soon.The eventual winner, The Naked Chef, won the day’s star prize and gets to cook a meal for himself and 3 friends.The temporary local DOGSDROPPINGS rule did not cause the anticipated stink.

5th. HermanusAlliance

83: Sam, Andre F., Keith G., Koos80: Peter T., John T., Gordon , Stuart (guest)79: Clinton (guest), Jonny, Peter S., Dave S.79: Geoff, Marius, Fred, Hugh77: Andre H., Tony H., Michel, Alan S.76: Dave B., Louwtjie, Ian

For the first week of Winter fun and games the DOGS took on Hermanus in an Alliance and race against the weather. In a brilliant example of organization and timing, most of the pack was able to leave the course dry before the start of the deluge.The golf was less successful.The scores ranged from the poor to the not very good.The Yorkshire influence in the eventual winning team shone through as they refused to buy a round with their winnings.

May 2012


38 Andre F.; 37 Tony H.; 35 Ian; 33 Koos; 31 Andre H., Geoff, Keith G.; 30 Dave B.; 29 Gordon, Peter T.; 26 Jonny; 25 Dave S., Peter S.; 14 Pat; 13 Louwtjie (DNF); 10 Mannes (DNF)

Normal golf coverage is resumed as your intrepid reporter returns from his short secondment to the European Tour Weekly and the British Nursing Journal.A smallish field braved the weather forecast at Royal Kleinmond and mostly got away with it.The Ex-Poledancer came out on top on 38 just pipping Paddy Hacker.Enzo van Zyl had to pull into the pits with engine trouble and Biggles landed early as his undercarriage got damp.

22nd. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Log)

44 Geoff; 42 Mannes; 40 Gordon; 37 Andre F., Fred; 36 Mike; 35 Andre H., Tony H.; 34 Ian, Alan S.; 33 Keith G., Dave B., Doug; 32 Alan C., Marius, Peter S.; 30 Sam; 29 Koos, Louwtjie; 25 Michel; 23 David R.; 21 Peter T., Pat


37 Andre H., Ian, 33 Alan C.; 32 Geoff, Louwtjie; 31 Koos, Tony H.; 30 Andre F.; 28 Gordon; 27 Alan S., Michel; 26 Keith G.; 25 Peter T.; 18 John T.


44 Mannes; 40 Dave B.; 39 Michel, Koos; 38 Richard; 37 Alan S.; 36 Andre F., Tony H.; 35 Ian; 33 Fred, Andre H.; 31 Peter T.,Louwtjie, Alan C.; 30 Keith G., David R., Gordon; 26 Dave (guest); 24 Geoff, John T.; 20 Marius

1st. ArabellaIndividual Stableford (Log)

35 Dave B.; 34 Alan S.; 33 Andre H., Tony De Beer (guest), Vivian Van Zyl (guest) ; 32 Joe Lion (guest); 30 Gordon; 29 Clinton Van Kuijeren (guest),

Stuart Van Kuijeren (guest), Keith G.; 28 Mike, Andre F., Richard, Doug, Peter T., Brian Oosthuizen (guest); 27 Louwtjie, Peter S., David R., Dave De Beer (guest); 25 Mannes; 24 John T., Tony H., Michel; 22 Ian, Koos; 19 Geoff; 18 Marius

April 2012


36 John C.; 35 George (guest); 33 David R.; 32 Fred, Koos, Ian; 28 Tynie (guest); 27 Dave S., Tony H.; 26 Keith G.; 24 Marius, Gordon; 23 Geoff, Andre F.; 22 Peter T.

A strong south-easter blew through a small field already ravaged by old age and alcohol.Many fortunes were reversed from the previous week including Cheeseburger who morphed from an Unhappy Meal into the week’s Big Whopper.In the other direction, The Monster slid down from the top of the pole and was lucky to have his fall broken by Cruiser Thomas who was pre-occupied planning his upcoming 3 weeks of bachelorhood.


40 Andre F.; 39 Dave S.; 38 Alan S.; 37 Michel; 36 Keith; 35 Ian, Mannes; 34 Doug, Sam, Peter S.; 30 David R., Jonny, Koos; 29 Louwtjie; 27 Geoff, Hugh; 25 David (guest); 22 Peter T., John C.

Some weeks there is nothing particularly amusing to report and, indeed, it is not particularly amusing to report that Dogsbody’s brilliant and flawless round of 39 points was pipped by a flukey 40-pointer from The Monster and Ex-Poledancer.Cheeseburger’s chips let him down on countback and cost him the hat.The motion in the traditional post-match debate was “should smoking be banned on 75% of holes as regulated by the smoke index?”.


41 George (guest); 38 Andre H.; 36 Dave S.; 35 Chris, Hugh, John C.; 34 Louwtjie, Andre F., Keith, Alan S., Gordon; 33 Jan (guest); 32 Michel, Ian; 30 Jonny, Fred, David, Geoff; 28 Koos (guest); 26 Doug; 25 Peter T.; 18 John T. The Green Lotto rolled over from last week and, just to add a little more excitement to the gamble, some greens were hollow, some tined, a couple both

and others neither. To further confuse the poor DOGS, various greenstaff waltzed around each dancefloor during approach.None of this seemed to affect guest George who posted a gross 67 to score 41 points beating the Diver’s Mate who was Hotdog.Mr. Security continues his efforts to secure the hat for his very own.

3rd. HermanusIndividual Stableford (Log)

40 Andre H.; 39 Keagan (guest); 36 Andre F., Mike; 35 Tony W., Jonny; 34 Peter S., Mannes; 33 John C.; 32 Chris, Marius, Vivian (guest), Pat; 31 Doug, Clinton (guest); 30 Alan S.; 29 Gordon, Koos; 28 Michel, David R.; 27 Dave S.; 26 Ian; 24 Sam; 23 Mike (guest); 22 Nigel, Hugh; 21 Peter T.; 20 John T.

The DOGS played the Green Lotto on Tuesday – not, unfortunately, a new eco-friendly version of PowerBall but an intriguing and frustrating game of chance played over 18 stages.The Ex-Pub-Landlord (or Diver’s Mate as he is soon to be known) won the jackpot with a score of 40.Mr. Security could not even manage 3 numbers on the Green Lotto Plus.

March 2012


46 Louwtjie; 40 Andre F.; 37 David R., Dave S., Andre H., Fred; 35 Alan S., Mannes; 34 Koos, John H.; 33 Tony W., Ian; 32 Peter T., John C., Gordon; 31 Vivian (guest); 28 Pat; 27 Marius Work, wives and weak constitutions combined to decimate the field on Tuesday but those who were there made up for the lack of numbers with a massive points haul at an average of 34.4 per player.They were ably led by Flight Lieutenant Biggles who zoomed in with a soaring 46 points carding a gross 79.At one stage it looked like the hat would be won with more than 30 points but Pat of the Bushveld and The Iceman fought a rearguard action and the latter managed to pull it off and put it on.


40 Doug; 39 Peter S.; 37 Ian; 36 Fred; 35 Andre F., Tony W., Jonny; 34 Louwtjie, Mannes; 33 Geoff, Sam, John H., David R.; 32 Andre H., Dave S., Koos, John

C.; 31 Hugh; 30 Chris, David N., Gordon; 29 Marius; 27 Pat, Jack; 23 John T., Nigel; 14 Peter Tuesday saw the occasion of the DOGS’ first ever hole-in-one when Star of David aced the first. He was escorted by ADT through the next 17 to ensure he arrived safely at the bar.The local Jewish congregation declared a day of mourning and the day’s winner, Dougal MacRoss of Men-In-Skirts expressed his sympathy. The Hermanus branch of Tykes-With-Long-Pockets also sent condolences.Cruiser Thomas missed the celebrations as he left early to try to persuade the Hermanus Times not to print the results or the fact that he lost ten balls. If you’re reading this, he failed.


42 John H.; 39 Jonny; 36 John T., Pat, Bob, Jack; 35 Nigel, Mannes, Peter S., Tony (guest), Doug; 34 Ian, Alan S.; 33 Andre F., Chris; 32 Koos, Peter T., Tony H., David R., John C.; 31 John F.; 30 Geoff; 29 Dave S., Marius, Alan C.; 28 David N., Malcolm; 20 Gordon

On a very high-scoring day, OralBman gave himself a shot in the arm with 42 points, earning himself a 2-stroke handicap cut.The Naked Chef shot himself in the foot with a personal worst 20 point effort to get his handicap up.The Yorkshire Ripper was unable to play as he had to visit the doc to get a shot in another part of his anatomy thus handicapping himself even more. 6th. HermanusIndividual Stableford (Log)

44 Brian (guest); 40 Brendan; 39 Peter S.; 37 John H.; 36 Andre F., Fred; 34 Bob, Alan S.; 33 John T.; 32 Tony J., Keith B.; 31 Dave S., Arnie (guest), Koos; 28 John C., David R.; 27 Peter T., Keith G., David N.; 26 Michel, Ian; 25 Jonny, Malcolm; 24 Tony H. 23 Hugh; 22 Gordon, Geoff; 20 Pat; 16 Mannes (9 holes)

More used to guests taking the hat, it was a shock at Hermanus to see guest Brian whip the field with an impressive 75 gross which produced 44 points. The society rules will of course be modified to prevent any recurrence.Pat of the Bushveld returned to exchange his pith helmet for another form of headgear.Enzo van Zyl was only able to play the back 9 as he was earlier participating in the Sandbaai-Kleinmond-Hermanus rally.

February 2012

28th.. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Log)

39 Fred; 36 Tony W.; 35 Dave S., Jonny, Bob; 34 Alan S., Andre F., Gordon, David R.; 33 Alan C., John C.; 32 Koos, Hugh; 31 Andre H., Brendan; 30 Malcolm, Keith G., Tony J.; 29 Keith B.; 27 Ian, David N., George (guest), Alan (guest), Chris; 26 John H., Peter S.; 25 Geoff ; 23 Marius; 22 Tony (guest)

Scores this week were surprisingly low – a fact put down to an approaching cold front rather than the approaching monthly handicap recalculation. Only Steady Freddy was DOG enough to beat his handicap.At the other end a guest yet again took the hat as The Iceman cometh very close. This is happening so often that the disciplinary committee is investigating possible bribery, especially as guest Tony’s boot was spotted dripping with melted Nestle Farmhouse Vanilla.


43 Jonny; 39 Alan S., John H.; 38 David N.; 37 Mannes; 36 Tony J., Richard; 35 Chris, Rob (guest); 34 Koos, Andre F.; 33 John C., Brendan, David R.; 32 Hugh, Andre H., Keith G.; 31 Tony H., Michel; 30 Derek (guest), Gordon; 29 Marius, John F., Bob (guest), Tony W.; 28 Peter T., Dave S., Paul (guest), Malcolm, Alan C.; 25 Keith B.; 23 Dave (guest); 22 John T. Miracle worker, The Fairway Rabbi, returned from his short break away having corrected Tiger’s swing faults, righted the Greek economy and solved the crisis in the Middle East. After that, a sunny day at Kleinmond was childsplay. The reception from the Gentiles, however, was far from gentle as they demanded further cuts to his handicap.Birthday boys Tony Hacker and The Sporting Cock took the party too far by even posting the same scores.Mr. Security was not safe from the dreaded hat.


40 Mannes, Dave S., Hugh, Dave B.; 38 Keith B., Alan C.; 37 Paul (guest), Andre H., Andre F.; 35 Brendan, Bob (guest), Alan S.; 34 Malcolm, Stuart (guest), Tony J.; 33 David N., John T.; 32 John C., Sam; 31 Fred, Doug, Koos; 30 Tony H., Keith G., Peter T., Ian, Louwtjie; 29 David R., Paul (guest), Peter S., John H.; 28 Michel, Tony W.; 26 Gordon, 25 Dave (guest); 24 Richard, Clinton (guest); 22 Geoff

Golf, like life, is full of surprises. Who would have thought that Dogsbody and Huge could mix in such exalted company as Enzo and the Old Pro on 40 points?Enzo won the countback but the others can hold their heads high – except Huge of course.At the other end of the large field, Up-and-Under’s purple patch turned into a black stain.

7th. HermanusIndividual Stableford (Log)

37 George (guest); 36 Paul (guest), John F.; 35 Alan S., Sam; 33 Andre H., John H.; 32 Louwtjie, Geoff, Mike; 31 Gordon, Keith B., David N.; 30 Andre F., Tony W., Koos; 29 Michel; 28 Brendan; 27 Jonny, Dave S., Peter (guest); 26 Peter S., Arnie (guest), Doug, Tony H.; 24 John T., Tony J.; 23 Marius, Hugh F., Ian; 22 Mannes, Peter T., Brian (guest), Keith G.; 18 Malcolm; 15 John B. (guest); 5 Sam (guest); N/R John F. (guest)

The biggest ever DOGS field took on Hermanus and mostly lost.Guests dominated both ends of the leader-board and while Paddy O’Flynnagan was HOT DOG he was equalled by guest Paul and pipped by guest George who seemed to know the course quite well.At the other end, Howay-the-Lads was again saved as Sam, Sam failed to pick up his musket.

January 2012


41 Jonny; 38 Richard; 37 Alan S., John H., Tony H., Tony W.; 35 Louwtjie, Dave S.; 34 Andre F., John F., Koos; 33 Geoff, Keith G., David R.; 32 Alan C., Hugh, Fred; 31 Andre H., Mannes; 29 Gordon, Peter S., Keith B., David N., Ian, Pat; 28 John T.; 26 Brendan, Tony J.; 23 Malcolm; 22 Howard (guest) The Fairway Rabbi made it a hat trick after apparently finding two large stones high up by the second tee which were inscribed with “Gary’s 10 ways to better golf”.He is now happy to give lessons which will cost a snip for most of us.Howay-the lads is looking for more reconstruction surgery after narrowly missing the hat thanks to guest Howard who won’t be here next week.

24th. Kleinmond

Individual Stableford (Log)

39 Jonny, Keith B.; 38 Louwtjie, David R.; 37 David N., Dave B., Keith G.; 36 Andre F., Andre H., Hugh; 34 Ian; 33 Alan C.; 32 Peter S., Manne, Tony H., Doug, Sam; 31 John H., Geoff; 30 Deon (guest); 28 Alan S., Koos; 26 Dave S.; 25 Malcolm; 22 Tony J.; 19 Nigel; 12 Howard (guest)

The Fairway Rabbi made it two in a row causing Sandown Bay to part so that he could get home in style.He shot 39, butchering Keith into second place on countback, on what was a very high-scoring day thanks largely to last week’s mass conversion to Judaism.As part of the post-match formalities, Peter Sulley (nee Scully) was officially stripped of his DNF status.


43 Jonny; 39 Andre F.; 37 David N., Geoff, Mannes; 36 Alan S., Dave B.; 35 Pat; 34 Sam; 33 John H., Ian, Jan (guest); 32 Dave S., Andre H.; 31 Nigel, Keith G., Tony W.; 29 Koos; 28 Hugh, David R., Keith B.; 27 Tony H., Michel; 22 Gordon; 21 Marius; 16 Tony J.; 11 Peter S.(DNF)

The Fairway Rabbi braved the desert heat, abandoned his cart and led the tribe on foot to the Promised Land.The nearest Jones the Veg got to the promised land was buying a round with his sweepstake winnings.The Iceman’s GPS malfunctioned causing him to try to play from the 13th. tee to the 17th. green. Luckily, his playing partners prevented him from completing this new 1,2k par 9.


41 Dave B. 39 Geoff, Mannes; 38 Alan C.; 35 Andre F., Jonny; 34 Dave S.; 33 Andre H., Fred, Ian, Koos; 32 Tony H., Pat (guest), John F.; 31 David N.; 30 Michel; 29 Keith G., John H.; 27 Gordon, Pat; 26 Tony J., David R.; 18 Peter S. (DNF); 15 Hugh (DNF)

The DOGS first outing of the year back “home” had a familiar feel – The Old Pro at the top of the leaderboard, 2 DOGS too crocked to finish and several groups playing the day-night version of the game (by choice or otherwise).One major difference though was the shock resignation of Captain Koos (to spend more time lining up his putts). From now on he will be referred to as Professor The Hon. Ex-Captain and Bar.

The DOGS have agreed to postpone any electioneering until after Mangaung.

3rd. TheewaterskloofIndividual Stableford (Log)

36 Andre H., Koos; 35 David R., Dave B.; 34 Ian, Hennie (guest); 33 Riaan (guest); 29 Tony H., Dave S., Pat; 28 Mike, Keith G.; 27 Geoff, Ian (guest); 24 Nigel; 22 Stewart (guest), Bert (guest), David N., Dave (guest); 21 Marius, Andre F., 20 Wayne (guest); 17 Phillip (guest); 1 Jerry (DNF)

It did not take long for the DOGS to get back into the swing of Log Day-Night games on a vastly improved TWK track.The festive break took its toll on the scoring which was generally low. Most DOGS took care of this by bringing a multitude of guests to occupy the bottom end of the leader-board.Jenny Jones fell at the third with a strained fetlock.

20th · web viewsouth africa went 3-2 up in the series with a win reminiscent of their...

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