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nce you announceyour plans to get married, there’s agood chance that people close to you

will be ready and willing todispense their share of advice.Some words of wisdom will bepriceless, while others you canstore away for another day.

When polling married cou-ples, you will likely find theywould change “this” or “that”about their weddings if giventhe chance to do it all overagain.

Here is some advice that youcan choose to follow for yourwedding day.

Tip No. 1: Trust your vendors

Couples often have uniqueideas for their wedding day. Itmay seem tempting to spell outwhat you want in minute de-tail and insist on wedding ven-dors carrying out your wishesto a T.

But the smarter idea may beto give vendors a little morefree reign — after all, they arethe professionals.

“I had a vision in my head ofwhat I wanted my centerpiecesto look like,” offers Jean M.,Connecticut. “I gave the floristmy suggestions and the ‘feel’ ofwhat I was trying to create,but ultimately I left the fin-ished product up to her. WhenI walked into the receptionhall and saw my centerpiecebaskets overflowing with fall-hued flowers, berries andtwinkling candles, I was so ex-cited I had left it up to the ex-pert.”

When deciding on particularaspects of the wedding, you cangive your general ideas, butleave the finished product tothe professionals. Don’t listevery song you want the dee-jay to play or micromanage allof the poses the photographershould take. After all, experi-enced pros have likely donethis dozens of times in the pastand could produce results younever dreamed possible.

Tip No. 2: Scale downUnless you are planning on auditioning for the show“Over-the-Top Weddings,” it

might pay to make your wedding more about being per-sonal and less about wowingthe crowd with special effectsand expensive treats.

It’s easy to be lured into ex-tra dinner courses or be per-suaded to release doves at theceremony, but will these ex-tras impact your relationshipor the life you will be buildingtogether?

“If I had to do it all again, Iwould skip the dessert bar Ihad at my wedding,” says AliceC., Ohio. “The spread of pies,pastries, cookies, and choco-lates certainly looked impres-sive, but it cost me a small for-tune. Also, people filled up on

the dessert bar so much, theyno longer had room to taste myspecial-ordered wedding cake.”

Tip No. 3: Don’t overextendYour wedding will hopefully

be a once-in-a-lifetime event.Therefore, couples often planto spend a good deal of moneyto ensure their special day isperfect.

Weddings are still viewed asa high-priority expense andmost couples save for a longperiod of time despite sluggishconsumer spending reports.

According to the market re-search and analysis firm IBISWorld, nearly 60 percent ofcouples go over their budgets

when getting married. Somedo so at the risk of being indebt afterward.

“It can be easy to get carriedaway in wedding spending,”shares Deirdre H., Michigan.“I went way over budget whengetting my wedding gown and afew other components of mywedding. My husband and Istruggled the first year of ourmarriage trying to fix our fi-nances and battling a bad caseof money-related stress.”

Try to stick to a budget asmuch as possible so that youcan enjoy yourself not only onthe wedding day, but also longafter the honeymoon has end-ed.

Tip No. 4: Keep it in the family

Selecting members of yourwedding party can be challeng-ing because there may be somany special people in yourlives right now that you wantto honor.

Choosing a best man and amaid/matron of honor is alarge responsibility becausethese people stand out in the

wedding.Although couples struggle

with their choices and want toplease everyone, your safestbet is to choose a family mem-ber.

“I ended up choosing mybest friend over my sister asmaid of honor,” says Clara T.,Arizona. “Although we werevery close at the time, we’vesince grown apart due to workrelocation. My sister and I,however, talk and hang outfrequently. I regret not havingasked my sister to be my maidof honor, considering hers is afriendship I know will last along time.”

Unless you don’t have closefamily members or your rela-tionship with your siblings orcousins is strained, choose afamily member to serve as bestman or maid of honor.

It is easy to be overwhelmedwhen planning a wedding, andcouples can expect to be bom-barded with advice. However,it could pay to heed the adviceof couples who have alreadylived and learned from theirwedding choices.

Be open to ideas, advice when planning“I had a vision in my head of what I wanted my

centerpieces to look like. I gave the florist my suggestionsand the ‘feel’ of what I was trying to create, but ultimatelyI left the finished product up to her. When I walked into

the reception hall and saw my centerpiece baskets overflowing with fall-hued flowers, berries and twinklingcandles, I was so excited I had left it up to the expert.”

— Jean M., Connecticut

Wedding Showcase

2013

O

ore and more couples planning to walk down the aisleare embracing save-the-date cards to give guests ade-quate notice that there is a party on the horizon.Save-the-date cards do more than let guests know

when you’re getting hitched. The cards are a preliminary wayto keep guests informed and let them know they are, in fact,on the guest list.

These cards haven’t always been so popular, but have risenin popularity due to longer engagement periods, a growingnumber of destination weddings and the growing number ofcouples with guests from all over the country, if not the world.

Considering people often plan business trips, vacations andother excursions several months in advance, save-the-datecards help secure a greater number of attendees at your wed-ding.

Save-the-date announcements can vary in many ways. Theymay be postcards or magnets that can be attached to a refrig-erator door. If you desire a cohesive theme to your weddingstationery, select the save-the-date cards at the same time youchoose your wedding invitations.

This way you can ensure that either the patterns, fonts, col-ors, or style of the cards will match. It will also help conveythe tone of the wedding. Guests often take their cues regardingthe level of formality of the wedding from the type of sta-tionery couples choose.When to send out the save-the-date announcements is impor-tant as well.

As a general rule of thumb, it is wise to mail out the cards 6months in advance for a standard wedding. If the wedding re-quires travel or extended overnight accommodations, you

may want to mail them out 8 months to a year in advance togive guests the time to investigate flight costs and hotelarrangements.

A wedding also may necessitate planning a vacation or personal time off from work. Therefore, ample advanced

notice is advisable.Be sure to make your guest list in advance of sending out

save-the-date cards. Everyone who receives a card should alsobe sent an invitation prior to the wedding. Remember to in-clude any members of your planned wedding party in the listof recipients.

Just because a person has verbally confirmed attendance atyour wedding doesn’t mean they should be excluded from sub-sequent announcements. Guests may talk to one another andit is best to avoid hurt feelings and any added drama beforethe wedding by treating everyone equally.

Be sure to include the wedding date, your names and the lo-cation of the wedding on the save-the-date cards. You do notneed to offer RSVP information or detailed specifics at thistime. You may want to include a Web site URL on the card soguests can check it frequently for updates on wedding informa-tion.

Be sure to also include that a formal invitation will follow ata later date. You do not want to cause confusion by havingguests think that the save-the-date card is the actual invita-tion.

Also, make sure you address the save-the-date cards correct-ly to show your intentions with respect to guest invites. Forexample, be clear about whether children will be invited andwhether a boyfriend/girlfriend or another guest can tagalong.

Although save-the-date cards are not a necessity, they havebecome a popular part of wedding planning to eliminate confu-sion about invitations as well as help guests plan time off foryour wedding.

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Save the date: Let guests know they are invited

Save-the-date cards inform guests that a wedding is on the horizon, making it easier to arrange travel plans.

Wedding music that stands the test of timeThere are many different

ways to convey feelings of af-fection. Some people pen poet-ry, others bestow gifts, whilestill others feel moved by mu-sic and lyrics.

Songs have long been a pop-ular way to convey emotions,and love songs have been per-formed by artists from nearlyevery musical genre at somepoint in time.

Although music is subjec-tive, some love songs havestood out as fan favorites.Commonly featured at wed-dings or as the backdrop on ro-mantic evenings, the follow-ing songs are considered someof the more popular lovesongs of all time.

“Love Theme From ‘A StarIs Born’” (Evergreen): ThisBarbara Streisand classicfrom the hit film helpedStreisand earn both an Acade-my Award for Best Song froma Motion Picture and Gram-my Award for Song of theYear.

“Up Where We Belong”:Few people can forget the end-ing scene of “An Officer and aGentleman” when RichardGere sweeps Debra Winger off

of her feet. The song “UpWhere We Belong” by Jen-nifer Warnes and Joe Cockerfrom the movie will always bea romantic favorite.

“All My Life”: Former Jode-ci members K-Ci and JoJo cre-ated an enduring romanticsong with this pop hit.

“Save the Best for Last”:This song became VanessaWilliam’s signature song anda smash hit.

“Be With You”: Soul singerMary J. Blige emphasizessticking with the one you loveby being loyal.

“I Do It for You”: ThisBryan Adams hit was nomi-nated for an Oscar as thetheme for the 1991 film “RobinHood: Prince of Thieves.”

“I’ll Make Love to You”:This Boyz II Men song wasone of the longest-running No.1 hits of all time.

“Lovesong”: The Cure’sRobert Smith penned thissong as a present to his wife,Mary, in 1988.

“Sweet Love”: Anita Baker’ssoulful hit helped turn herfrom a budding R&B singerinto a household name.

“Love Me Tender”: His goodlooks and gyrating hipshelped thousands of womenfall in love with Elvis Presley.However, this signature lovesong endeared the famedcrooner to many others.

“My Heart Will Go On”: Ce-line Dion’s theme from “Ti-tanic” became one of the mostpopular love songs of all timeafter the film’s 1997 debut.

“I’ll Stand by You”: This1994 hit from The Pretenderscan be interpreted as a song ofromantic devotion or a com-mitment to friends.

“You Are So Beautiful”: JoeCocker makes the list againwith this soulful 1975 hit.

“Have I Told You Lately”:Originally written and record-ed by Van Morrison, this songgained new life and notorietywhen recorded by Rod Stew-art.

“My Girl”: Beloved R&B

group The Temptations deliv-er a song about sunshine on acloudy day in this classic.

“I Will Always Love You”:Witten and performed by Dol-ly Parton, this song is perhapsmost known for the versionperformed by Whitney Hous-ton for the soundtrack of her1992 film “The Bodyguard.”

“Time After Time”: A songof devotion, Cyndi Lauperearned her first No. 1 singlewith this hit.

“Hey There, Delilah”: Asimple song of young love bythe Plain White T’s.

“Unchained Melody”: TheRighteous Brothers deliveredthe best-known version of thissong, which helped createmovie magic between PatrickSwayze and Demi Moore inthe 1990 film “Ghost.”

“Just the Way You Are”:Billy Joel’s classic in whichhe tells his beloved she is per-fect as-is.

“Your Song”: A simple, elo-quently written song of lovefrom Elton John.

Top tips for creating your wedding registry

Just engaged? Before thosewedding bells ring, you’re go-ing to do lots of planning in themonths ahead. While most ofyour preparations will onlymatter on the first day of yourmarriage, your wedding reg-istry will impact your happilyever after.

Wedding experts say to en-sure domestic bliss, make themost of your registry withproper planning, research andfree resources.

“Determining what youwant and need for your futureshould be an exciting process,”says Audrey Stavish, weddingand gift registry expert at BedBath & Beyond. “An expertconsultant can help demystifyproduct details and ensure youdon’t miss any categories.”

As you think about register-ing, Stavish is sharing tips oncreating the perfect registry:

Don’t delay: You’ll likelyhave multiple occasions thatrequires gift-giving on the partof friends and family. From theengagement party to the show-er to the main event, guestswill want giving guidance. Soregister early.

Opt for a registry that offersconvenience and good cus-tomer service. A store with lo-cations nationwide and an on-line ordering system will makeit easy for you and your guests.

Take inventory: Assesswhat you already have, whatyou don’t have and what needsreplacing. A walk throughyour home using a registrychecklist can help you build a

list. Talk to your fiancée andwork together.

Also, think about what youneed now and in the future –you might be dining for two,but soon you could be hosting adinner party for 12 and willwant dinnerware worthy of theoccasion.

Ask for help: Don’t be shyabout seeking advice. Visit astore and talk with an expertconsultant who can help withgift selections and offer tips onwhat you’ll need to enjoy yourhome.

Be sure to research the itemsthat go on your registry. Touchthe towels, hold the flatware —you may need to visit the storemultiple times to get it right. Ifyou change your mind, remem-ber it’s always possible to up-date your registry online atany time.

Dream big and small: Notall guests will be working withthe same budget, so include arange of items at various pricepoints. Guests will appreciatethe variety for individual andgroup gifts. Dream big and in-clude a few big ticket items andgifts that last a lifetime.

Keep in touch: From save-the-date notifications, person-alized announcement cardsand registry details, keep intouch with your guests stylish-ly with a complete, customizedwedding stationery ensemble.You can visitwww.BedBathAndBeyond.comand click on “personalized in-vitations” to visit their online-only stationery store.

M

Page 2 Wednesday, March 13, 2013 Bulletin, Record, Progressive, Reporter

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A bride who’s willing to be flexible with respect to herwedding gown can save a substantial amount of money.

Don’t just toast the groomat the end of your best manspeech; toast his new brideas well.

Simple ways to save on costsccording to a 2012 report in Brides magazine, the averageAmerican couple

spends just under $27,000 ontheir wedding.

Clearly couples can expectto invest a substantial amountof money for their weddings.

While many couples find thecost of a wedding is well worthit, others would like to findways to save so their big dayisn’t a budget-buster. Suchsavings aren’t always easy tocome by, especially for cou-ples with a very distinctivepicture in mind of what theirwedding should be. However,even couples strongly commit-ted to a certain wedding stylemight change their mindsonce they realize how muchsuch a dream wedding willcost.

For those couples as well ascouples who simply want tosave some money, the follow-ing are a few ideas to avoidbusting your budget withoutventuring too far from yourdream wedding.

— Trim the guest list. Theguest list is perhaps the easi-est place to begin saving mon-ey. Many reception halls willcharge by the head, so consid-er if you really need to invite

150 guests or if 100 will do.Such trimming can save you asubstantial amount of money.For example, a banquet hallthat charges $200 per guestwill cost couples with a guestlist of 150 $30,000 for the recep-tion alone. Cutting that guestlist to 100 reduces that cost by$10,000.

When putting together theguest list, remove those candi-dates who would best be de-scribed as acquaintances. Thiscan include coworkers withwhom you don’t socialize, aswell as old college friends towhom you rarely speak. Dis-tant cousins you haven’t spo-ken to in years can also be cutfrom the list.

— Don’t go overboard on thegown. Styles are ever-chang-ing, so there’s a strong chancebrides won’t be passing downtheir wedding gowns to theirown daughters someday.What’s popular now will likelyseem outdated by the timeyour daughter walks down theaisle.Keep this in mind when shop-ping for a wedding dress,which can be made in thesame design as the one you tryon but with cheaper fabricsthat are a fraction of the cost.

The disparity between gown

costs in the United States andCanada should paint a goodpicture of how easily bridescan save money on theirgowns. According to a surveyof wedding trends conductedby Weddingbells, an online re-source for Canadian brides,the average Canadian bride in2011 spent just under $1,800 onher wedding gown, while theaverage American bridespends roughly $1,100 on hergown. Though the reasons forthat disparity are unclear, it’ssafe to say there are savings tobe had for brides who don’twant to break the bank payingfor their wedding gowns.

— Get hitched in the off-sea-son. Many couples prefer toget married sometime be-tween the months of Maythrough October. During thesemonths, venues and vendors,including limousine services,caterers, photographers, musi-cians, and deejays, are moreexpensive. If you are willing toswitch your wedding date tothe off-season you can save asubstantial amount of money.

In addition, you likely won’tface as much competition forthe best venues and vendorsas you will during the peakwedding season.

— Trim your beverage

budget. The bar tab at the endof the reception can be consid-erable, but there are ways tosave money while ensuringyour guests can still toast youand yours with a few liba-tions.

Rather than offering a fullbar, limit the choices to beerand wine, which will be per-fectly acceptable to mostguests anyway. In addition,rather than paying the catererfor the wine, buy your ownand you’ll save a considerableamount of money. You mayhave to pay the caterer a fee topour the wine, but that fee isnegligible compared to whatyou’d pay the company to pro-vide the wine.

— Choose a buffet-style din-ner over waiter service. Manyguests will no doubt prefer abuffet-style dinner instead ofwaiter service, so take advan-tage of that and choose a moreaffordable buffet-style dinnerthat allows diners to choosetheir own entrees and sidedishes.

When it comes to trimmingwedding costs, couples willhave to make compromises.But those compromises don’thave to come at the cost of abeautiful and memorableevent.

Tips for a great best man toasthe best man toast can be one of the most memorable parts of a

couple’s wedding. Sometimesa toast is memorable for itshumor and heartfelt sense ofappreciation for the groomand his bride, while othertoasts are more memorable forall the wrong reasons.

One of the reasons bestman toasts can be so unpre-dictable is that giving a bestman toast is such a unique ex-perience. It’s somethingmany men never do, whilethose who do give a best mantoast may only do it once in alifetime.

It’s understandable to benervous when asked to give abest man toast, but there are a

few tricks of the trade a bestman can employ to calmthose nerves and ensure histoast is memorable for all theright reasons.

— Practice makes perfect.Few people are capable ofstanding in front of a crowd ofpeople and speaking off thecuff. A best man should takethis into account and practicehis speech before the big day.

A spur-of-the-momentspeech may provide an adren-aline rush, but such an en-deavor may come off as if youdidn’t care enough to put theeffort into writing a thought-ful toast ahead of time.

In addition, practicing thetoast once it’s been writtenwill make you feel more com-

fortable and confident infront of the crowd. If possible,practice in front of a friend orfamily member so you can so-licit feedback.

A friend or relative mightbe able to help you fine-tunethe speech, which in turn cancalm your nerves once you’rehanded the microphone.

— Avoid alcohol. Gettingliquored up prior to your toastis a recipe for disaster.Though it may seem like agood idea to employ alcohol tocalm your nerves and loweryour inhibitions, it’s not agood idea.

Consuming alcohol beforeyour toast increases thechance that you will end upembarrassing the bride and

groom as well as yourself.— Get to the point. Men and

women who have attendedtheir fair share of weddingreceptions no doubt have satthrough a long-winded toastfrom the best man or maid ofhonor.

Such toasts can bring a fes-tive reception to a grindinghalt, and guests will likelytune out before the best manor maid of honor gets to thepoint. Being succinct shouldbe a goal for a best man withregard to his toast.

Avoid long-winded walksdown Memory Lane in favorof a toast that thoughtfullycuts to the chase and letseveryone get back to celebrat-ing.

A

T

Wednesday, March 13, 2013 Page 3Bulletin, Record, Progressive, Reporter

aking the time to preplan your weddingreception is your best

bet to ensure a wonderfuland festive celebration ofyour big day.

In fact, the decisions youmake about who will cateryour party could be amongthe most important andcostly decisions you makeabout your wedding.

For some, a favoriterestaurant may be the an-swer. Some may want a cele-bration at their home or thehome of a friend. Some wed-ding receptions will requirerenting a hall and hiring aband or a DJ.

In any case, the highlightof the event will be the mealand what kind of food youwant to serve should be oneof your first considerations.Are you interested in a par-ticular cuisine? You alsoneed to find out if the cater-er can make and/or serve awedding cake or accommo-date special requests or spe-cial family recipies. Some

caterers will allow you tosample their food in ad-vance, if you ask.

Don’t hesitate to askfriends and family abouttheir experiences with localcaterers. Try to get refer-ences and referrals. A goodcaterer should be able toprovide a list of satisfiedclients.

Of course, your catererneeds to know how muchyou have budgeted for yourreception. Most catererscharge on a per-person ba-sis, and most will require adeadline when you let themknow how many guests willbe attending. Most catererswill be able to make sugges-

tions once they know whatyou want and how muchyou have budgeted for thereception. You also willneed to decide if you want afull, sit-down dinner or abuffet line. Buffets may becheaper, but check withyour caterer. Make sure thecaterer can provide an item-ized list of all charges.

You also will need tomake sure the caterer canhandle your need for chairs,tables, linens, service, etc.and if there are any extracosts associated with any ofthese items. You also shouldask if you have any optionssuch as the color of thelinens.

You also will need to de-cide how to handle beveragestations, especially if youplan to serve alcohol. Somecaterers can supply alcoholfor your party and otherswill charge a corkage fee toserve alcohol you have pur-chased. You may be able tosave some money by supply-ing the alcohol and payingthe fee to have the catererserve it. If you’re renting ahall for your reception,

make sure to check to seewhat rules they have regarding alcohol.

Of course, you will wantto have a signed contractthat outlines the responsi-bilities of both parties —you and the caterer — anddescribes exactly how pay-ment will be made. Mostcaterers require a deposit inadvance. The contract alsoshould cover set up andbreak down times, especial-ly if you’re renting a hall foryour event. Try to get every-thing in writing to avoidmisunderstandings later. Agood caterer should alwaysuse a written contract.

Proper planning and hir-ing the right caterer will al-low you and your guests toeat, drink and be merry andenjoy your special day.

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Proper planning for hiring the right caterer will allow you and your guests to eat, drink and be merry and enjoy your special day.

Take care when choosinga caterer for your wedding

Don’t hesitate to ask friends and family abouttheir experiences with local caterers. Try to getreferences and referrals. A good caterer should

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T

Page 4 Wednesday, March 13, 2013 Bulletin, Record, Progressive, Reporter

edding traditions andthe duties of the father of the bride areas varied as the cul-

tures from which they arise.Most of the current wed-

ding traditions we celebratetoday come from the Victori-an era, but today many ofthese old traditions arechanging and many of the re-sponsibilities once assumedby the father of the bride aretaken on by others. Of course,the father of the bride shoulddo everything he can to makehis daughter’s special day asspecial as it can be.

Traditionally, the father ofthe bride (and perhaps hisfamily) pays for the wedding.Many couples today offer topay a portion of the expenses,and sometimes even thegroom’s family may help paythe bills.

In any case, the father ofthe bride may want to handlehiring the caterer and select-ing the menu, buying theliquor, help plan the ceremo-ny and choose the venue forthe reception.

He also can help with out-of-town travel arrangementsand help guests find lodgingand transportation.

The day before the wed-ding, many fathers give aspeech to the groom duringthe rehearsal dinner. It’s animportant moment when thefather of the bride can wel-come the groom into the fam-ily.

Come wedding day, the fa-

ther of the bride normallytravels with the bride to theceremony. During the cere-mony, the father of the bridegives the bride away to thegroom — perhaps his mostimportant task during thewedding. Who could beprouder on this day than thefather of the beautiful, blush-ing bride?

After the wedding, if thereis a receiving line, the fatherof the bride usually standsbeside his daughter.

During the reception, thefather of the bride should of-fer a fitting toast to the newlywed couple.

Most receptions also willfeature a father-daughterdance. Sometimes the fatherwill cut in during the firstdance at the reception in-stead.

Often, the father of the

bride will select a song withspecial meaning for both ofthem. Father and daughterprobably should practicedancing together a little be-cause all eyes will be onthem.

The father of the bride alsoshould plan a heart-felt toastto the new couple during thereception.

He also should ensure thereception runs smoothly, thateveryone has enough to eatand drink. Finally, he should thank everyone for attending.

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Walking his daughter down the aisle and giving her away to her husband-to-be could be one of the most poignant and bittersweet duties the father-of-the-bride faces come wedding day.

Father of the bride alwayshas a place in a wedding

Helpful tips for writingyour own wedding vows

wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event for manycouples, so brides andgrooms wish for the

event to be momentous andmemorable.

As such, couples are increas-ingly integrating personal nu-ances into their ceremoniesand receptions to tailor wed-dings to their unique visions.

The desire to include person-alized wedding vows continuesto be a popular trend.If you are considering personal-ized wedding vows, first realizethat it may not be a simple task.

That’s because you want themessage conveyed to be dear toyour heart, and that can bechallenging when faced withthe pressures and planning ofthe rest of the wedding. Thatisn’t to say that writing yourown vows is impossible.

Here are some guidelines forpersonalizing your ceremonywith your own sentiments.

— Schedule time for writing.Amid the bustle of dress fit-

tings and interviews with pho-tographers, it can be easy to putoff the important task of writ-ing vows for another day.

But as any great writer canattest, it takes writing — andrewriting — to achieve a fin-ished product you can be proudof. Give the task of writing yourvows your undivided attention.

Mark it in on your calendaror set a reminder on your com-puter just as you would anyother appointment.

— Be aware of ceremonyguidelines.

It is best to check with yourofficiant and confirm that per-

sonalized wedding vows are al-lowed.

During civil ceremonies it’soften acceptable to customizevows as you see fit.

However, during religiousceremonies there may be linesof scripture that need to be reador certain passages required.

Before you spend hoursworking on the task, be surethat it is allowed and that yourspouse and you are on the samepage.

— Jot down your feelings.Answer some questions

about what marriage means toyou and how you feel aboutyour spouse.

Try to avoid trite sayingsand think from your heart andpersonal experiences.

Think about what is the mostimportant thing you want topromise to your future partner.These notes can serve as thestarting points for the actualvows.

— Read inspirational writ-ings.

Perhaps there is an author ora poet who inspires you?

You can quote certain writ-ers in your vows or let the toneof their works help shape thewords of your vows.

There also are suggestedwedding readings and otherquotes about marriage readilyavailable at the library or witha quick search online.

— Decide on a tone. Although the day is based on

love and affection, you may notfeel comfortable spoutingwords of adoration in front offriends and family.

Feel free to tap into your

unique personality. Humor canbe used if it aligns with the wayyou normally express your af-fections.

Be sure to weave this tone in-to more traditional passages tocreate a cohesive expression ofyour feelings.

— Establish an outline. Put together all of the words

and phrases you’ve jotted downinto an outline to help you or-ganize the flow of the vows, us-ing these words as a blueprintfor the vows and building uponthem.

Make sure the vows will beconcise. Aim for your entirespeech to be around 1 minute inlength to keep everyone en-gaged and the ceremony mov-ing along.

— Put everything together.Draft your vows and then prac-tice them by reading out loud.

You want to avoid long sen-tences or anything that tripsyou up.

Although large words maysound impressive, they couldmake the vows seem too acade-mic and not necessarily heart-felt.

Enlist the help of a friend ortwo to act as your audience tosee if the vows sound good andare easily understandable.Writing your own vows can bea way to include personal ex-pressions of love into a couple’swedding day.

Public speaking is seldomeasy, nor is finding the perfectwords to convey feelings abouta future spouse.

However, with some practiceand inspiration, anyone candraft personalized vows.

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Wednesday, March 13, 2013 Page 5Bulletin, Record, Progressive, Reporter

he trend of long-marriedcouples calling it quitshas been growing. However, there are some

steps couples can take to keeptheir relationships going strong.

According to the AARP, divorces among people over theage of 50 have doubled since1990. According to Susan Brown,codirector of the National Centerfor Family & Marriage Researchat Bowling Green State Universi-ty, one out of three Boomers willface their golden years unmar-ried.

There are a number of reasonswhy divorce rates have skyrock-eted among the over-50 set.

Understanding just why these di-vorces are taking place and tak-ing proactive steps to alleviatesome of the divorce triggers canbe a recipe for a happy marriagethat continues throughout a cou-ple’s golden years.

— Increase accountability.Ours is a transient society wherefamilies no longer bat an eyelashover moving great distancesaway from other family mem-bers. As a result, Boomers mayfeel like they are not connectedto children or grandchildren.With this in mind, they may feelless attached to their marriageor their responsibilities or be-lieve that no one will get hurt bya divorce. Keeping families closeand remaining in frequent con-tact can increase accountabilityand reduce the propensity for di-vorce.

— Get things out in the open.A major reason for a failed mar-riage is years of avoiding signifi-cant issues rather than address-ing problems. Couples shouldmake time to talk to each otherabout anything that might bebothering them rather than let-ting too many things slide. Ifthese conversations turn intoshouting matches, there is al-ways the option of bringing in athird party to serve as a media-tor.

— Spend time apart. After re-tirement, couples may find them-selves spending hours uponhours in each other’s company.While togetherness can be bene-ficial, too much time spent to-gether may lead to feelings ofsuffocation and the perceptionthat each member of the rela-tionship is no longer his or herown person. Individuals canremedy this by doing morethings on their own, whetherspending time apart with friendsor engaging in hobby time with-out your spouse. After all, ab-sence makes the heart growfonder. Brief periods of separa-tion can make the time marriedcouples do spend together feelmore meaningful.

— Recommit to your vows. Af-ter 30 or more years, the vowsyou shared on your wedding maybe a distant memory. Some peo-ple may have different views onthe permanence of vows, puttingpersonal happiness ahead of thehappiness of the couple. Takestock of what you promised oneanother on your wedding day andstick to those words.

— Become a comedian. Laugh-ter has a way of dissolving a ten-uous situation. Focus energy onlaughing at mistakes instead ofpointing blame. Couples canmake fun of themselves and re-solve to not take things too seri-ously.

— Act like you’re dating. Cou-ples often become complacent af-ter many years of marriage.They may forget about the littledetails that made the relation-ship fun in the early years. Thepersonal notes and cards andother surprises may fall by thewayside after being together forsome time. Make an effort to goon dates, write love notes andthink of what was appreciated byyour partners when you were inthe dating stage.

— Practice selflessness. Some-times all that is needed to rekin-dle a relationship is a selfless actthat shows how much you carefor your partner.Couples who are on the fencewith regard to divorce can makean effort to improve the relation-ship rather than simply see di-vorce as the best option.

hotographs of your wedding ceremonycould be some of themost prized and endur-

ing images of one of the mostspecial days of your life, so it’simportant you get them right.One of the most important wed-ding planning decisions youhave to make could be who willrecord the event for posterity— Uncle Norman, the family’sfavorite shutterbug, or a profes-sional wedding photographer.

While Uncle Norman may bea real whiz with a camera andcould quite possibly take someexcellent photographs, most ex-perts still advise hiring a pro-fessional photographer for wed-dings. Here’s why.

Weddings are very specialevents that only happen once,and they happen in real time. Ifyou miss an opportunity to cap-ture an image of one of thoseonce in a lifetime moments, it’sgone forever.

Quite simply, there are no doovers. For example, the bridewill only throw her bouquetonce. She’s not going to re-trieve it from her guests andthen throw it again because thephotographer missed the shot.

That can lead to a lot of stressfor the photographer, and goodold Uncle Norman may not beup to the task. Luckily, wed-ding photographers have theexperience and expertise towork comfortably and profes-sionally in such a high stressenvironment. After all, that’swhat they do for a living.

You also might want to

consider using a local photogra-pher (rather than an out-of-towner) because he or she willbe intimately familiar withchurches and venues that holdweddings in your area and theparticular challenges each loca-tion might pose for the photog-rapher, such as lighting issuesor unsightly background areas.

Of course, cost can be a fac-tor when hiring a wedding pho-tographer. In the big city, awedding photographer mightcharge as much as $10,000 toshoot a wedding. In PlumasCounty, the cost is usually afraction of that amount. Somewedding photographers will come with an assistant and sometimes a second photographer.

Some photographers willeven want to attend rehearsals,

so they get a first hand look atthe event they’ll be shootingthe next day.

Before you hire a photogra-pher, make sure you take aclose look at their work. Don’tforget you’re paying them to becreative. Go through their port-folio of photographs carefully,compare prices and find out ex-actly what the photographerwill be giving you for yourmoney.

Spend some time talkingwith the photographer, andmake sure you can feel comfort-able having this person shareyour special moment with you.

Don’t’ be afraid to let the pho-tographer know if you wantspecific photographs taken dur-ing the ceremony. While eachwedding presents dozens anddozens of unique photo

opportunities, take the time tothink about the particular mo-ments you would most like tocapture. Make a list and goover it with your photographerto make sure you record thatimage.

For example, many newbrides want a close-up photo-graph of the ring going on herfinger for the first time. Anoth-er favorite is the couple’s firstkiss after taking their vows.

Another often requested pho-tograph is one of the groom thefirst time he’s sees his bride inher wedding dress. That can bean emotional and magical mo-ment even for men with thetoughest exterior.

Digital cameras are the normthese days, and wedding pho-tographers who use film tend tobe more of a high-end specialtyitem.

Film photographers wouldsell prints from the slides ornegatives, but today many digital photographers will takethe photographs, retouch andadjust them in a computer program such as Photoshopand then give you a disc con-taining all your wedding pho-tographs.

Some digital photographersalso will offer prints, some-times for an additional fee.

Most wedding photographerswill have a Web site and mostcan post the photographs fromyour wedding online for familyand friends to see. Sometimesthose online photos are avail-able for sale as well.

Take the time now to planyour wedding photographs be-fore the ceremony, and you’llhave memories to last a life-time and beyond.

Page 6 Wednesday, March 13, 2013

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