1989 issue 7 - wisdom for the family - counsel of chalcedon

8/12/2019 1989 Issue 7 - Wisdom for the Family - Counsel of Chalcedon

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The teaching

of

Proverbs on the

home and its many relationships

Wisdom for

the-Family

by Wayne Rogers

W

ho

has

not

seen a

.

plaque on a living room

wall

that read, God

Bless Our Horne . That

is certainly a proper prayer and desire.

Blessing and happiness in the horne and

family is a Biblical ideal and goal.

However, we need to change the quote

to

read

as Proverbs 3:33 tells us, God

bless the Horne

of

the Righteous.

Only those who live in terms of the

Word of God

can pray and expect

God

to bless their horne. (I really wish some

one would produce plaques or stitchery

with that verse on it.

It

would be a

good evangelistic conversation starter).

This article is an outline from Proverbs

for Wisdom for the Family.

The horne, according to Proverbs

24:3-4, should be a place where val

uable riches and treasures are found.

Proverbs 18:22 echoes Genesis 2:18

and recommends marriage and the fam

ily. Psalm 128 celebrates the happiness

and

the influence

of

the horne that is

established upon the Word of God.

Happiness

is.

not automatic, how

ever,

as

3:33 reminds us. The Lord's

curse. is on the house of the wicked, it

says. Unhappiness in the horne is

caused because the horne is not built

upon the Word of God, Mat. 7:24-27.

Just

as

most physical accidents happen

at horne, so do most spiritual accidents,

Prov. 3:21-26. This passage describes

a man at horne. He stumbles on the

carpet and cannot sleep at night because

he

lacks wisdom.

If

you are wise,

however, 3:21, you will dwell with

safety, 3:23.

Unhappiness comes through unwise

handling of money, 15:6, 27; marital

unfaithfulness, 2:16-19; failure to train

children, 10:1; failure of children to

honor their parents, 29:15. A child

will have 20/20 vision if he keeps his

eyes on Proverbs 20/20. Strife,

quarreling, and conflict bring unhap

piness, 17:1. Our actions may build up

or destroy our homes, 11:29, 14:1,

15:25, 24:3.

I. Husbands

and

Wives

A. Marriage:

1. Marriage is a blessing from

God, 18:22; 19:14; 5:15-19.

2. Marriage is between one man

and one woman for life, 2:17; 7:4.

3. Marriage must be based upon

and grounded in a common fear of the

Lord, 14:26; 31:30, 22:4; 1:7; 15:16.

4. Marriage must grow and de

velop in the soil of love, 15: 17. Love

is seeking the good of the other even at

personal expense.

B. Men and

Husbands:

1. His Relationship with God:

a. He must fear God, 1:7;

9:10; 14:26; 28:14.

b. He must confess his sin,

28:13,14.

c. He must keep God's law,

28:7,9.

d. He must be righteous and

just in

all

his dealings, 21:3, 12

27; 15:8, 25; 12:7; 14:11.

e.He must be firm in re

sisting the wicked, 25:26.

f.He guards his heart, 4:23f.;

17:3, 20; 20:9.

g.He keeps his vows, 20:25.

h.

He prays, 15:29.

The Counsel o Chalcedon Aug.-Sept. 1989 page 16

i.

He

avoids evil, 16:6.

j He is careful about asso

ciating with the wicked, 1:10f;

22:24-25.

2. His relationship with His Wife:

a.

Husbands must be friends

with their wives, 2: 17. The word

friend is used to refer to the

closest of friends, 16:28, 17:9, and

Psalm 55:13. Like wisdom, she is

to

e his sister and kindsrnan,

7:4,5. Marriage is a covenant of

companionship, a communion

of

life. Marriage is a relationship of

companionship, comradeship, and

communication.

b. Husbands must be faith

ful and ardent lovers, 5:15-19.

(1) He must e a loyal

lover, 5:1f,15; 6:27-29,33; 27:8.

(2) He must

e

an ardent

lover, 5:19 (Compare with 20:1

where exhilarates is translated

intoxicated). Having sex is not

the same thing

as

being an ardent

lover.

c. He must trust his wife,

31:11. He is alovirtg leader. He

does not squelch her talents and

abilities. Indeed, he is profited by

her.

d. He must not bring trouble

on his own horne through his

foolish behavior, 11:29.

Men

often trouble their own

horne by foolish decisions and be

havior. They may e ill-natured,

impulsive, false, selfish, etc. They

may

trouble their homes by greed,

15:27; laziness, 19:15 alcohol

abuse, 20:1; vengeance, 17:13,

quarreling, 26:21; underwriting

debts, 22:26-27; failing to guard


2/4

their tongues, 21:23; failing to

seek the counsel

of

others, 11:14,

associating with the wrong people,

22:24-25; straying from home,

27:8.

3.

His Handling

of

Money

a. Co-signing loans, 6:1-5,

22:6.

b.

Debt, 22:7,26.

c.

Offerings, 3:9-10.

d

Generosity, 11:24-26;

14:21,31; 28:22,27, 23:6-8.

e.

Trusting

in

riches, 23:4-5

11:28; 16:8; 19:1; 15:16; 30:8-

9;

28:20; 11:4, 10:22.

f.

Honesty, 22:16; 29:27.

4.

His Work

a.He

is

a hard worker,

10:4,5; 12:11; 28:11; 13:4; 16:26;

12:27; 14:23; 12:24; 13:4,19;

22:29; 28:19; 24:27;20:14;11:26.

b.

He

is

not a sluggard,

6:6-11; 26:13-16; 22:13; 19:24;

I 24:30-34; 10:26; 13:4; 16:26;

21:25; 20:4; 12:27; 19:15; 18:9;

20:13; 21:17, 25,26.

c.

He is honest

in

business

dealings, 22:16; 11:1,18; 12:2;

16:8,11; 17:8,23; 28:8,21; 29:27;

20:17; 21:6; 10:2; 20:10,23;

23:10.

5.

His Tongue

a. He controls his tongue,

13:3

21:23; 10:19; 29:20; 12:18.

b. His

words are fitly

spoken, appropriate for the need

and circumstances, 25:11; 15:23;

12:25; 16:24; 15:1,4; 16:21,23;

25:12,27; 28:23; 27:5; 25:20;

10:31, 32; 18:13,15,17; 27:9.

c. He speaks the truth,

12:17; 14:5,25; 25:18; 19:5,9,28.

6. His Character

He

is

humble, 13:10, 15:33,25;

teachable, 9:8-9; 12:15; 15:31; kind,

12:10; patient, 12:16; 14:17,29; 15:1;

even-tempered and self-controlled,

16:32; 17:27; 19:11,19; 30:33; 29:22;

15:18; 22:24,25; 25:28; impartial,

18:5; honorable, 14:19; a blessing to

his

city and nation, 11:10-11,14.

7.

His Plans and Decisions

He makes

his

plans and deci-

sions wisely, 21:5,15,22; 11:14;

20:18; 24:6,7; 16:1,3,9; 19:21; 20:24;

21:30.31,2,5; 27:1,12

C.

Wives and Women:

1.

The wise woman and god

ly wife is the crown of her husband,

12:4. She is often his making and

breaking, 18:22; 19:13,14. She brings

him profit.

She is the Queen

of

the house

hold. She dignifies her husband. She

has noble character, 12:4;

11:

16,22;

31:25,26.

She is not quarrelsome, 19:13;

21:9,19; 25:24; 27:15,16.

She

is

a good neighbor, 31:20.

She dresses, speaks, and acts like a

women who fears and knows God,

7:10,12,21; 31:22,25.

Her excellence justifies his

choice. Her management enriches his

bank account. By her industry and

economy the produce of his labour is

carefully guarded, and often increased.

Her influence exalts his character. Her

gentle spirit and manners smooth the.

roughness

of

his character, refine his

tastes, elevate his aims, and round the

sharp angles

of

his daily life, David

Thomas, Book

of

Proverbs.

2.

She builds

up

her home, instead

of

tearing it down, 14:1; 9:1-6. She

is

diligent, 31:13,15,16,22,14. She

builds it up materially, 31:13,14,16,24.

She combines economy with liberality,

31:13,18-27.

She builds it up spiritually. A

good wife by her example, spirit, ad

monitions, reproofs, and prayers builds

her home.

t

becomes A temple

of

industry, intelligence, and worship,

David Thomas.

The foolish woman tears down

her home by idleness, waste, love

of

pleasures, lack

of

foresight and care,

9:13-17.

3. She is a devoted wife, faithful to

her husband, 7:14-20, 2:16-19.

a. She is faithful and loyal

to her husband, and not a seduc

tress or adulterer, 2:16,17; 5:3;

6:24; 7:10-21; 9:13-17; 30:20.

b. The wicked and ungodly

woman is a complainer, 27:15,16;

cranky, 21:9; 25:24; and a nagger,

19:13; 21:19.

A fortune in a wife is better

than a fortune with a wife,

Scott.

For the building of a house

three things are principally necessary:

First, a holy corning together; Second,

a special fitness in the head of the

family; and Last, a holy living

together, Byfield.

"I see your side won again, Henry "

The Counsel o Chalcedon Aug.-Sept., 1989 page 17


3/4

II

Parents

and

Children

A.

Parents:

1. Parents,, fathers and mothers,

must instruct and teach their children,

1:4,8,10; 2:1; 3:1; 4:1; 5:1; 6:20;

31:1,26,28.

-

-2.-

While

instruGtien and dis

cipline is practiced by fathers and

mothers, there is a priority of the

responsibility of the father

as

tbe head

of the horne, 1:1, 6:20f; I Kings 2:1-4.

3. Instruction must be done

affectionately and earnestly, speaking to

the heart, 1:20f; 4:1,20; 8:1f; 23:15-

23.

4. Instruction must be practical

and comprehensive:

a.

Instruct them with warn

ings and appeals

to

follow the

word of God, 1:20f; 4:1; 8:1f.

b.

You must warn your

children about the dangers and

temptations that they will be

exposed

to

in society: wicked

men, seductive women, drug

abuse, peer pressure, etc. See

1:10f; 2:12f; 4:14; 5:1f; 6:20f;

7:1f; 20:1; 23:30-35; 31:4-7.

c. You must instruct them

about work and laziness.

See 10:4-5,26; 12:11,12,24,27;

14:4,23; 16:26; 18:9; 22:1329;

24:27,29; 26:13-16; 27:18; 28:19;

31:13-31; 6:6-11.

d. You must instruct them

about money management and

wealth. See 3:9,10; 10:2,22;

11:28; 13:11; 15:16,17,27; 19:4;

20:14; 22:16; 23:4,5; 27:23,24.

e. You must instruct them

about social and civic graces and

responsibilities:

(1) Neighbors and friends -

18:24; 17:17; 27:6,17; 26:19;

25:17; 27:14; 17:9; 25:8.

(2) Civil government,

false witnesses, judges, rulers:

12:17; 14:5,25; 17:15; 24:23-25;

17:23,26; 28:21; 16:10; 20:8,28;

28:15,16; 29:4,14.

5. Parents must set godly

examples before their children. See

20:7; 31:28.

Fathers must be examples by

controlling their tongues, 13:3;

kindness, 12:10; humility, 13:10;

patience, 12:16; temper, 16:32; impar

tiality, 18:5; self-control, 25:28.

Mothers must be examples of godly

character

as

well. See 12:4; 11:16;

19:13; 31:20; 7:10-21; 9:1-6.

6.

Parents must train up their

children-by-discipline;22:0.

Proverbs is well known for its

praise of the rod, 13:24; 23:13,14;

19:18; and discipline, 22:15;

29:15,17,19; 3:11,12.

a.

Foolishness is bound up

in the heart of a child, 22:15. It

usually takes more than words to

dislodge

it.

b. Character, like fruit,

grows through pruning and discipline,

15:32;33; 5:11,12.

It

must begin

early, 13:24b; 22:6.

c. The best training cannot

make one wise. Proverbs

is

the calling

of a Father and Mother to their son to

choose wisdom and follow it. That is

why this training must begin early,

before the child becomes a fool. A child

may be too opinionated to learn, 13:1;

17:21. He may be too lazy to learn,

10:5. He may be wild and reckless,

29:3; 28:7. He may be rebellious,

despising, cursing, and mocking his

parents, 15:20; 30:17, 11; 20:20;

28:24; 19:26. Some parents have

themselves to blame, 29:15. However,

ultimately every person is responsible

for his own actions, 29:3; 2:2f.

7. Parents should leave an

inheritance for their children, 13:22;

19:14; 20:7,21.

B. Children

1. Children should bring joy to

their parents by living godly lives,

10:1; . 15:20; 17:21,25; 27:11;

23:15,16;. 17:6; 23:22,24,25.

2. Children should pay close

attention

to

their parents instruction,

and give heed to

t

1:8,9; 2:1f; 3:1f;

4:1f; 13:1; 19:27; 23:22-25; 28:7.

3.

Children should gladly sub

mit to discipline in the Lord, 3:11,12;

12:1; 15:5; 19:20.

4. Children should care for their

parents in their need,

30:

11,17.

The Counsel

of

Chalcedon Aug.-Sept. 1989 page 18

C.

A Wise Son

1.

Can stand

alone,

1:10-15.

2.

Deals

with

temptation,

5 : ~ 2 3 ;

6:24; 23:19-21.

3. Handles

money

wisely,

3:9,10; 22:7-9;

20:21.

4. Works hard, 10:4,5.

5. Is a good

brother,

17:17;

18:19.

6. Is

not a tattle-tale, 17:9.

7. Doesn t start quairels,

17:14,19; 26:20. .

8. DOOsn't

rob

parents,

19:26; 28:24. .

9. Doesn t curse parents,

20:20.

10.

s known by

his

actions,

20:11.

11.

Keeps God's law, 28:7.

12.

Watches

who

his

companions

are,

1:10f; 29:3.

D. A Wise Daughter

1. Is

not foolish, boisterous,

9:13;

rnoc Qng

guilt

and

sin, 9:17;

deceptive, 14:8; argumentative and

quarrelsome, 20:3.

Is

not contentious, but

gracious, 19:13;21:9,19; 27:15,16.

3.

Is not sensual, 2:16,17;

5:3,6; 6:24,25; 7:5-27; 30:20. The

sensuous girl flatters with her words,

2:16; chooses new friends, 2:17; forgets

her promises

to

her Lord, 2: 17; dresses

suggestively, 7:10;

is

rebellious and

forward, 7:11-13; 30:20.

4. Is not indiscreet, 11:22;

31:30; knows that

true

and lasting

beauty

is

a spiritual quality, 31:30.

Ill.

Brothers and Sisters

What does Proverbs have to

say about the relationship between

siblings, brothers and sisters?

A.

A brother is a friend,

17:17; 18:24; 27:10. While these

verses describe one who is

a friend, they

also imply that a brother should be

a friend as well. What is true

of

a

friend is also true of a brother. A

brother loves at all times, 17:17;

he

sticks close 'to you;

he

is there for a

time of trouble.


4/4

1

A brother

is

one you trust,

Ps. 41:9. He

is

one

to

whom you can

go for counsel, 27:9,17. See I Sam.

23:16

and

T

Sam.

13:3

2. A brother

is

one who will

tell you the truth, Prov. 27:6. He will

he candid when he needs to be 29:5;

28:23; I Kgs. 1:6.

3. A brother

is

for a time of

trouble, Ps. 35:13,14, Eccles. 4:9-12,

Job 6:14, Acts 27:3. He

is

one to go

to when in need, Luke 11:5. There are

fair-weather friends, 14:20, 19:4,6,7.

See also 2 Tim. 4:16 and Psalm 41:9.

4. A brother is a confidant -

John 15:14 15.

5. A brother is one you enjoy

fellowship with, Ps. 55:14; 41:9; Matt.

11:19.

6.

A brother is one who is a

bosom friend, Deut. 13:6, I Sam.

18:1.

7.

A brother knows how

to

be

courteous, 25:17; 27:14; 26:18-19.

8. A brother

is

one you would

lay down your life for John 15:13.

B.

Brothers may be

estranged from each other,

6:19.

Prov. 18:19 comments on how difficult

it

is to

reconcile brothers and friends

when they have been separated.

Prov. 19:7 mentions that a poor

man

is

shunned by his relatives. This

may mean that your relatives, brothers,

are guilty of not coming

to

your

assistance when in need, and is a

condemnation

of

them.

t

could mean

that if you are always coming to your

friends and brothers in need they will

hate to

see

you coming.

Friendships are fragile,

2: 17

16:28; 17:9. They may be destroyed

through confidences broken, 25:8-10,

and through telling tales, 17:9; 16:18.

Therefore,

we

must be careful that

we

do not estrange brothers, and that

we

seek to preserve good relations insofar

as possible.

Brothers and sisters are noted for

fighting and quarrelling in the home.

This is to be expected because they are

sinners. Nevertheless, fighting should

not be accepted. We should encourage

brothers and sisters to love and appre

ciate each other. We should hold up a

Biblical model and ideal for them to

emulate

and

to aim for.

IV.

The Family and Society

The home

is

the foundation

of

society. Prov. 31:19 records King

Lemuel's mother's instruction

to

him

on how

to

be a good and wise king. In I

Kings 2:1-4 we read

of

David

counseling Solomon on how

to

be a

successful king.

As

he followed the

Word

of

God his kingdom

was

happy, I

Kgs. 10:8-9. When he failed to live in

terms

of

the Word

of

God his kingdom

began to decline, I Kgs. 11:1-13. The

home

is

the training ground for future

leaders in society. They must not only

be men of moral character but

of

wisdom

and

principle.

A. Righteous people

are

a blessing to their city,

11:

11. The implication

is

that cities

are to be righteous and they can only be

righteous if the citizens are righteous.

B. Righteous people

are

a source of guidance and coun

sel to a nation which keeps

it

from falling, 11:14. Godly citizens

must exercise political pressure upon

their elected officials. The security and

prosperity of their families and their

nation depends upon them. Many

Christians

do

not realize that there are

Biblical principles that apply to

the

nature and function

of

civil

government, defense, justice, law

enforcement, and economics. f they

do, they

do

not believe that they should

The Counsel

of

Chalcedon Aug.-Sept. 1989 page

19

seek

to

apply them to civil life or

government today. For lack

of

Christians acting

as

salt and light in

these areas the nation is in a state

of

moral chaos, economic collapse, and

national weakness and vulnerability.

C.

Righteous people are

to fear the king, 24:21,22, practice

civil obedience and submission. The

righteous king gives the land stability,

29:4. Citizens get what they deserve

when they elect ungodly men

as

civil

magistrates. The king is to administer

justice, 20:8,16,28. He is to crush the

wicked. By protecting the good his

kingdom is made safe. See also

16:12,13.

Remember, however, that these

verses presuppose godly kings, 16:13.

Kings are not always righteous,

however,

as

the Proverbs recognize,

16:12; 28:15,16. Kings often have

unwise and wicked cabinet members,

25:5, who need to be removed. Even

though kings are to be feared and

honored, and one who disobeys

may

have to suffer the consequences of civil

disobedience, obedience is not absolute,

Acts 5:29. Only God is the

absolute sovereign.

D.

Righteous men need

to fill the seats on the city

council, become judges, and

civil magistrates, 24:7; 17:15;

24:23-25. As David prayed for

his

son

in Psalm 72, let us pray for our sons

this same prayer.

1989 issue 7 - wisdom for the family - counsel of chalcedon

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