Monday, November 11

I have a few friends who are very tall and they always seem to try to lower themselves rather than

owning their height. I’m sure that I’ve done that as well, but I’m pretty sure I don’t anymore. (Actually, I

tend to lean more to the left because of my shoulders. I’m not sure exactly why, but I learned that I did

that in high school and I’m pretty sure I still do it.) Anyways, while it bothered me before because I

wanted them to be proud of their heights, I now am bothered by it also because I know that if they are

hunched over, they are not opening their channel as much as they should be. Being hunched over

results in tension and tension in the body results in tension in the voice. And one of these boys who I am

talking about specifically has a beautiful voice and I would love to hear him open it up even more and

access parts of it that he hasn’t accessed before. The other one is not as strong of a singer and I think

that opening his channel would do wonders for his tone and placement of his voice.

Tuesday, November 12

I auditioned for Godspell last night for the music school, which I don’t often do. Because it’s a show that

is all about personality and what the actors can bring to the show, I walked into my audition with my

guitar. I started off by playing my guitar and singing “Someday” from the Wedding Singer. It was a great

choice for me because I am much more comfortable when I have an instrument between the audience

and myself (I’m in a band at home and I much prefer to be behind my keyboard than just standing with a

microphone). After that, I did another song and a monologue. The monologue was a little bit nerve-

wracking because I was kind of unprepared and not fully memorized. I did notice that when I knew my

words I was on my voice, but I went into what I think is my “fry” when I was unsure. Dead giveaway. Oh

well, I was still proud of myself for even auditioning, as I tend to just not audition for things.

Thursday, November 14

This morning was freezing in class and we ended up going to the Callan instead of our usual room

because it was so cold. I really enjoyed working in the Callan. There was more space than we usually

have and it was nice to have a new space to explore while we were breathing and doing the resonators

work and all that. (I really love viewpoint work and I always want to explore the space and the

architecture and all that, so even when I’m supposed to say something across the room, I try to use my

breath to explore…if that makes any sense at all.) Anyways, we learned about articulators today. In high

school, I went to a performing arts school in addition to the public school. We learned a lot of different

things but didn’t always understand why we were learning them or what they were for and as it turn

out, I learned about articulators. I recognized the “Topeka Bodega” and “What-A-To-Do.” In my high

school, we did the Ps and Bs together, then the Ts and Ds, and then the Ks and Gs. I understood that

that was because of the placement, so in class when we did “ba-da-ga-da,” I appreciated that the

exercise worked through the mouth. Ps and Bs are more forward, Ts and Ds are in the middle, and K and

G are in the back. I really liked that I could bring the information I had learned in the past to class, even

just for myself.

Friday, November 15

Last year, my a cappella group, Redline, went up to another school. We were very anxious to perform

and not focused and so I had everyone do the 8-shake and that really helped. It got the energy going

and the blood flowing and everyone seemed to focus. We had another concert tonight and we had to

drive in traffic to UMBC. We got there and the non-freshmen in the group asked if we could do “that

thing where we shake our limbs” to get it all together. I really liked that the simple things we do in acting

classes can apply to anything to get the body prepared for whatever it needs to do. I’ve rolled down

when I do homework and I’ve done the 8-shake with my a cappella group. It’s just nice to apply things to

other aspects of life.

Saturday, November 16

Tech for Company has begun and we are in the Pryz Food Court and it is cold. I’ve noticed in the little bit

that has been sung that the actors are very tense because they are cold and their voices are not as

present as they usually are. If we had time, I would suggest that everyone warm up their bodies and try

to warm up their voices, but we are doing cue to cue and so everyone is stuck being cold and sitting

around waiting for the lighting designer to set cues. We could always turn up the heat in the food court,

but no one can seem to find the thermostat.

Sunday, November 17

Tonight I was called back for Godspell, which is the mainstage show for the music school next semester.

I don’t generally notice myself talking in a certain resonator but after we did the improv (which was

nerve-wracking, but more fun and easier than I anticipated) and the singing, I noticed that in the scene-

work, I was very definitely on my hard palate when I was reading one scene. The character was

supposed to be more confident and well-spoken and I tried to place it where I felt it would be strong

and clear, which is the hard palate. Thinking back, I’m pretty sure when I was playing the more demure

character, I was not on my hard palate. I might have been in the back of my head, but I’m not sure.

Monday, November 18

I’ve written before about my own singing and trying to find placement in the resonators while singing,

but I’ve never talked about other people so I think I will do that now. In Company, I get to listen to

people sing and I’ve heard them sing the same songs over and over again. I have noticed different

people singing in what I think are certain resonators and it’s interesting, because they happen to be in

the couples in the show. The two actors playing Peter and Susan both sing in their top of the head

resonators. Then the actors playing Jenny and David both sing in their nasal resonators and Sarah and

Harry both are primarily in their chest resonators. That’s just my opinions as to where they might be

singing, but if I’m right, then I think it’s pretty cool that they happen to be in couples in the same

resonators.

Tuesday, November 19

In my acting class, there is a girl with a slight speech impediment. It has improved greatly since her

freshman year, but it’s still sometimes noticeable. What I find more distracting than the speech

impairment, though, is the placement of her voice. She constantly speaks off of her voice and it sounds

like there is very little support. I wonder if it might be because she is trying to hide the little bit of her

problem with speaking, but I really do find it more distracting, especially since the problem with the Rs is

almost gone. It’s also quite interesting because when she sings, she has an incredible belt that is very

supported and impressive. Then she speaks and the power is just gone. It sounds almost as though she is

placing the sound in the top or back of her head, but at a low tone with no support. I can’t wait to hear

how she speaks after she takes Speech for the Actor. I think it will greatly improve her speaking and

therefore her acting. I find that her voice takes me out of her scenes and monologues because it’s so

soft and not at all the same as when she sings or even when she speaks with friends normally.

Wednesday, November 20

After learning about articulators, I have noticed Tori Boutin, who is in Company, doing some of the

articulator warm ups before every rehearsal. It makes sense, as Tori is playing Amy, who has the song

“Not Getting Married Today,” which is horrendously fast. It’s a patter song, so Tori has to spit out a lot

of words very quickly. She does it brilliantly though, and it’s cool to see her warming up by doing what

we just learned in class. Definitely shows the importance of warming up articulators.

Friday, November 22

Opening night for Company is tonight. I went to the health center yesterday about my shoulders and

they gave methocarbamol, which is a muscle relaxant. I took the recommended dose last night after

rehearsal and I think it helped, but I ended up falling asleep (it was around midnight) so I can’t really be

sure. It wore off by the time I woke up. I would like to take them again and go about my day, but I need

to be coherent and I need to drive my car and conduct a show, none of which are things I can or should

do on the medicine until I know how it affects me. So that’s a bummer.

Saturday, November 23

My shoulders are definitely unhappy with me from conducting Company last night, but the show went

incredibly well and is worth the pain right now. I have something to say other than complaining about

my shoulders though, so that is good! I noticed in the show last night that Kayleigh has a tendency to

speak differently onstage than she does normally. I’m not sure what she does normally, but there was a

moment in the show today that made me think that she was in the top of her head or maybe even the

back of her head. The sound was more rounded than normal, and I remember that the top of the head

has a more rounded sound. I’m not really sure how to distinguish the back of the head, but I think that

Kayleigh did not have a “Mickey Mouse” quality so maybe she wasn’t in the top her head. The back of

the head seemed like the next place she might be in. Anyways, I thought it was very interesting.

Sunday, November 24

After closing Company, I definitely did enjoy the show more than I originally anticipated that I would. I’m

still not the biggest fan of the show itself, but the cast really did an amazing job with it. The feeling after

finishing the title number was consistently a huge adrenaline rush. Thinking about it, I think that the

next time I conduct, I should pay more attention to my breath. I never really did during Company, but in

trying to write a journal about it, I’m realizing that maybe I should have paid more attention to myself. I

know that there were definitely places in which I held my breath when I was nervous for an entrance or

a line or something, but overall, I really was unaware of myself.

Monday, November 25

Per usual for the closing of a show, there was a cast party last night. I attended, but was not all that

inebriated. One thing I always notice about parties: the noise. The noise level is always absolutely

absurd. At one point during the party, I noticed my voice beginning to get tired from talking over the

noise in the conversation I was having. I consciously made the decision to try to talk on my hard palate

and I think I was successful. It definitely took a minute and I purposely said “hello” to someone because

we find the hard palate in class by saying “hah hah hello” and I needed to figure out the placement. I

would have tried using the teeth resonator, but I can only find that when I am upside-down and smiling

and though everyone at the party was more drunk than I was, I did not think that that was the time to

bend over and try to find the teeth resonator.

Tuesday, November 26

Cold weather always makes my shoulders hurt more. I know that’s normal for everyone (my friends who

have knee problems always complain more about their knees in the cold than they do in normal

temperatures), but it still is not very fun. I spent a few hours today in a car with my grandparents, but I

don’t really have anything to write about for this journal. I rolled down this morning, but that’s

becoming a regular thing and I’m not sure that anything was different about that today.

Sunday, December 1

I saw my physical therapist last night (she’s my mom’s friend, so she just came to our house and treated

me there). She definitely helped with a lot of the pain of late by working on the trigger points in my

shoulders and neck, but there isn’t really much she can do about the actual shoulder pain which is

frustrating. She suggested that I get blood work done to make sure it’s not a joint disorder, so I guess I

will get that done at some point. On the upside, she did say that the exercises I’ve been doing for my

shoulders are making them stronger, so that’s good. I am frustrated with everything involving my

shoulders though. I am trying to make them better, and while they are stronger, neither Shirley nor any

of the doctors or physical therapists (and Shirley is the best PT) I’ve seen in the past few years have been

able to explain why I’m in so much pain.

Monday, December 2

Thanksgiving was a wonderful time with my family, but as I’m sure everyone did, I ate too much. My

back had a lot of issues over the weekend. For some reason I was in a lot of pain. Every morning, I did a

roll down though, and that consistently made my back feel a bit better. I found that the roll down was

especially helpful in the shower when the water was also hitting my back in addition to the roll down

helping to stretch it out. I also saw my grandparents this weekend. I wonder what the correlation is

between being more hunched over as one gets older and the voice getting weaker. I would think that

the voice losing some of its strength is just another part of getting older, but it could very well have

more to do with hunching over, as many elderly people do. They may be closing off the channel by doing

so, which affects their voice...it’s just a thought.

Tuesday, December 3

In class today, we wrote out the whole warm-up, which is what our written final will be. I am confident

in the general idea of everything, but worried about the specifics of each section. I think I will be alright

though. And we get to do the oral part as a group so I’m really not worried about that. I am signed up to

lead the chest, hard palate, and teeth resonators, which I am much more comfortable in than the back

of the head, nasal, and top of the head resonators.

Wednesday, December 4

Very much out of commission today. I woke up and didn’t feel well and ended up throwing up. I have

been in my bed or the bathroom to throw up all day and that’s it. I’m not sure what to do about class

tomorrow or how I will be feeling then.

Friday, December 6

Choir concert today and still not feeling all that great. I’m planning on trying to eat something after the

choir concert as I haven’t eaten since Tuesday now. I’ve been living on Saltines, Gatorade and Ginger Ale

for the past few days. I missed the final yesterday because my stomach was still bad. It looks like I will be

doing it on my own, hopefully after the written part.

(Friday night… I left the document open and have something more to say now)

The choir concert went well but I found myself tensing up my voice and the whole channel because my

shoulder hurt so much from holding the binder in my left hand. (In class, I use a music stand because I

learned last year that holding the binder is painful for me.) I could feel myself trying to compensate for

the pain in my shoulder by trying to put the strain anywhere else in my upper body, and in doing that, I

could feel the production of sound becoming more difficult. My shoulder is really in a lot of pain still and

I am at my grandparents’ house with my parents and my grandparents. My mom tried giving me a

massage but it didn’t help.

Satuday, December 7

Today I had an interesting experience that I definitely think is good to write about for this class. As I am

music direction Parade next semester, we had to sit through hours of auditions today. In the auditions

we heard a song and a monologue, so we really got to hear each person speak. It was astonishing to me

how many people were speaking in the “fry” of their voices, and even more astonishing to me that I

could tell! I knew when people weren’t supporting their speaking voices and when they were. There

were also some people who were very clearly in their chest resonator, but I really didn’t notice anyone

comfortable in any other resonators. It’s possible that people were in the back of their head, but I have

a very hard time with the back of the head resonator, so I’m not entirely sure that I would recognize it if

I heard it.