15, 2019 our mission: eucharistic emmaus adoration chapel · september 21st from 2 to 4pm in the...

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Pastor 主任司鐸 Fr. Bruce-John Hamilton Assistant 助理司鐸 Fr. James Kairu Chinese Mass 中文彌撒司鐸 Fr. Anthony Ho Parish Office Administrator Helen Estrellado Parish Office Hrs 堂區辦事處時間 Tue—Fri 8:30am to 12:00 pm 1:00 to 4:00 pm Closed for Lunch at 12:00 – 1:00 pm Corpus Christi Elementary School 6344 Nanaimo Street Vancouver, BC V5P 4K6 Phone: 604-321-1117 Fax: 604-321-1410 Email: [email protected] Website: www.corpuschristi-school.ca Principal: Ms. Rosa Natola Sunday Mass 主日彌撒 Saturday Vigil 週六: 5:00 pm (English ) Sunday 週日: 8:00 am (English ) 10:00 am (English ) 12:00 pm (English ) 3:00 pm (Cantonese) Weekday Mass 平日彌撒 Mon.—Fri. 週一至五 8:00 am Wednesday 9:05 am (School Mass when in session) Friday 7:00 pm Saturdays & Holidays 9:00 am Reconciliation 修和聖事 Saturday 9:30 am – 10:15 am 4:00 pm – 4:45 pm Monday—Friday 7:45 am —7:55 am Friday 6:15pm —6:40 pm Sunday (In Cantonese) 2:30—2:55 pm Liturgy of the Hours/Devotions Office of Readings Daily 7:00 am Saturdays/Holidays 8:00 am Lauds Daily 7:40 am Saturdays/Holidays 8:40 am Sunday 7:30 am Holy Rosary, after weekday Mass Divine Mercy Devotion Fridays 6:35 pm Our Lady of Perpetual Help Saturday 9:30 am Our Mission: To witness God’s love by service and make disciples of Jesus Christ. Our Vision: Corpus Christi Parish will create an environment and culture that support all parishioners in embracing Stewardship as a way of life throughout their lives. September 15, 2019 24 th Sunday in Ordinary Time November 11, 2018 PARISH MINISTRIES/GROUPS Adoration Chapel Jarka Fusekova/Araceli Hinz Baptism Preparation Class Jackson Fong/Adelia Yiu/ Anita Gill/Scholastica Au Bible Study Fr. Bruce-John Hamilton (Scripture Study) Joyce Fung (Tuesday Morning Group) Joseph Chiu (Chinese) Catering Theresa Stewart Catholic Women’s League Leni Fong, President Chinese Community Frank Chan Choir Sat. 5pm & Sun. 8am Dominica Chan Sun. 10am Dorathy Li Sun 12pm Cristy Luettschwager Chinese 3pm Vincent Lau Church Care Helen Estrellado Altar Linens Agnes Lo Church Flowers Monica Lau Church Cleaning Cristy Luettschwager Church Gardens Adele Almoite Couples for Christ Neil & Cristy Loresco Russell & Theresa Zablan Richman & Nina Therese Manalili Eucharistic Ministry Bill Lam Knights of Columbus David Robinson, Grand Knight Legion of Mary Vickie Cornwall, President Project Advance Jackson Fong/Simon Yeung RCIA Fr. Bruce-John Hamilton (English) Joseph Chiu (Cantonese) Readers Irene Goh-Ko Safe Environment Ruby Socorro Arico Seniors’ Ministry Jackson Fong/Theresa Stewart Senior Management Team Fr. Bruce-John Hamilton/Fr. James Kairu/ Jackson Fong/David Robinson/Rick Lam/ Veronica Yam/Helen Estrellado Ushers Vacant Welcoming Ministry Connie Robinson Youth Ministry Fr. James Kairu, Director Altar Servers Fr. James Kairu Junior Youth Melchor Berceles/Lois Umali Parish Religious Education Program (PREP) Veronica Yam, Coordinator Queen of AngelsVivien Leung, Coordinator BAPTISM The Baptism Preparation Classes for parents are held every 1 st (Part 1) and 3 rd (Part 2) Saturdays of the month, 10:30 am to 12 noon, except during the months of July and August. Parents must attend both sessions. Call the Parish Office to pre-register for the class. Baptism celebrations are held every 1 st and 3 rd Sundays of the month following the 12:00 noon Mass. HOLY MATRIMONY We welcome your wedding celebration at Corpus Christi Church. To arrange the date and begin your preparations, please contact the Parish Office or either one of our priests at least 6 months prior to the proposed wedding date. ANOINTING OF THE SICK If your loved one, relative or friend would like to arrange for a priest for the administration of the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick or to visit the sick in a hospital, please phone the Parish Office. Or you may contact the hospital chaplain: VGH: 604-877-5918 (Pager) Fr. Jude Iloghalu (Mon., Tue., Fri., Sat. and Sun.) (604-230-7217) Fr. Miguel Segura Blay, Fr. Gilbert Nunez, Fr. Luis Martin Brain Delgado (Wed. and Thurs.) MOUNT ST. JOSEPH HOSPITAL : Fr. Martin Tuyen Nguyen, OP (Chaplain) 604-876-7826 BURNABY HOSPITAL: St. Theresa’s Parish (Chaplain) 604-298-6800 ST. PAUL’S HOSPITAL: Fr. Victor Fernandes, OCD 604-806-7290 WELCOME TO NEW PARISHIONERS AND VISITORS: To register, please complete a Registration Form available at the Welcoming Booth in the church vestibule or at the Parish Office or download from the parish website, www.ccparish.ca. Envelopes are assigned to those who request for them. Eucharistic Emmaus Adoration Chapel To worship at Corpus Christi’s Adoration Chapel, please come to the parish office to obtain a code for the door lock. Eucharistic Adoration in the Church, every Friday, from 5:45 to 6:45 pm. Holy Hour is at 6:00 pm 想在聖體小堂朝拜耶穌聖體,請親臨堂 區辦事處,領取門鎖密碼 聖堂明供聖體 時間是每星期五下午 5:45 6:45 聖時: 下午 6:00

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Page 1: 15, 2019 Our Mission: Eucharistic Emmaus Adoration Chapel · September 21st from 2 to 4pm in the school gym. It will be an afternoon full of faith, fun, and food shared among the

Victor

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nd Sunday of Easter (Divine Mercy

Pastor 主任司鐸 Fr. Bruce-John Hamilton

Assistant 助理司鐸 Fr. James Kairu

Chinese Mass 中文彌撒司鐸

Fr. Anthony Ho

Parish Office Administrator Helen Estrellado

Parish Office Hrs 堂區辦事處時間 Tue—Fri 8:30am to 12:00 pm

1:00 to 4:00 pm Closed for Lunch at 12:00 – 1:00 pm

Corpus Christi Elementary School 6344 Nanaimo Street Vancouver, BC V5P 4K6 Phone: 604-321-1117 Fax: 604-321-1410 Email: [email protected] Website: www.corpuschristi-school.ca Principal: Ms. Rosa Natola

Sunday Mass 主日彌撒 Saturday Vigil 週六:

5:00 pm (English 英) Sunday 週日: 8:00 am (English 英) 10:00 am (English 英) 12:00 pm (English 英) 3:00 pm (Cantonese)

Weekday Mass 平日彌撒 Mon.—Fri. 週一至五 8:00 am Wednesday 9:05 am (School Mass when in session) Friday 7:00 pm Saturdays & Holidays 9:00 am

Reconciliation 修和聖事

Saturday 9:30 am – 10:15 am 4:00 pm – 4:45 pm Monday—Friday 7:45 am —7:55 am Friday 6:15pm —6:40 pm Sunday (In Cantonese) 2:30—2:55 pm

Liturgy of the Hours/Devotions

Office of Readings Daily 7:00 am Saturdays/Holidays 8:00 am Lauds Daily 7:40 am Saturdays/Holidays 8:40 am Sunday 7:30 am Holy Rosary, after weekday Mass Divine Mercy Devotion Fridays 6:35 pm Our Lady of Perpetual Help Saturday 9:30 am

Our Mission: To witness God’s love by service and make disciples of Jesus Christ.

Our Vision: Corpus Christi Parish will create an environment and culture that support all parishioners in embracing Stewardship as a way of life throughout their lives.

September 15, 2019 24th Sunday in Ordinary Time

November 11, 2018 Thirty-second Sunday in Ordinary Time

PARISH MINISTRIES/GROUPS

Adoration Chapel Jarka Fusekova/Araceli Hinz Baptism Preparation Class Jackson Fong/Adelia Yiu/

Anita Gill/Scholastica Au Bible Study Fr. Bruce-John Hamilton (Scripture Study) Joyce Fung (Tuesday Morning Group) Joseph Chiu (Chinese) Catering Theresa Stewart Catholic Women’s League Leni Fong, President Chinese Community Frank Chan Choir Sat. 5pm & Sun. 8am Dominica Chan Sun. 10am Dorathy Li Sun 12pm Cristy Luettschwager Chinese 3pm Vincent Lau Church Care Helen Estrellado Altar Linens Agnes Lo Church Flowers Monica Lau Church Cleaning Cristy Luettschwager Church Gardens Adele Almoite Couples for Christ Neil & Cristy Loresco Russell & Theresa Zablan Richman & Nina Therese Manalili Eucharistic Ministry Bill Lam Knights of Columbus David Robinson, Grand Knight Legion of Mary Vickie Cornwall, President Project Advance Jackson Fong/Simon Yeung RCIA Fr. Bruce-John Hamilton (English) Joseph Chiu (Cantonese) Readers Irene Goh-Ko Safe Environment Ruby Socorro Arico Seniors’ Ministry Jackson Fong/Theresa Stewart Senior Management Team Fr. Bruce-John Hamilton/Fr. James Kairu/

Jackson Fong/David Robinson/Rick Lam/ Veronica Yam/Helen Estrellado

Ushers Vacant Welcoming Ministry Connie Robinson Youth Ministry Fr. James Kairu, Director Altar Servers Fr. James Kairu Junior Youth Melchor Berceles/Lois Umali Parish Religious Education Program (PREP) Veronica Yam, Coordinator Queen of Angels Vivien Leung, Coordinator

BAPTISM The Baptism Preparation Classes for parents are held every 1st (Part 1) and 3rd (Part 2) Saturdays of the month, 10:30 am to 12 noon, except during the months of July and August. Parents must attend both sessions. Call the Parish Office to pre-register for the class. Baptism celebrations are held every 1st and 3rd Sundays of the month following the 12:00 noon Mass. HOLY MATRIMONY We welcome your wedding celebration at Corpus Christi Church. To arrange the date and begin your preparations, please contact the Parish Office or either one of our priests at least 6 months prior to the proposed wedding date. ANOINTING OF THE SICK If your loved one, relative or friend would like to arrange for a priest for the administration of the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick or to visit the sick in a hospital, please phone the Parish Office. Or you may contact the hospital chaplain:

VGH: 604-877-5918 (Pager) Fr. Jude Iloghalu (Mon., Tue., Fri., Sat. and Sun.) (604-230-7217) Fr. Miguel Segura Blay, Fr. Gilbert Nunez, Fr. Luis Martin Brain Delgado (Wed. and Thurs.) MOUNT ST. JOSEPH HOSPITAL: Fr. Martin Tuyen Nguyen, OP (Chaplain) 604-876-7826 BURNABY HOSPITAL: St. Theresa’s Parish (Chaplain) 604-298-6800 ST. PAUL’S HOSPITAL: Fr. Victor Fernandes, OCD 604-806-7290

WELCOME TO NEW PARISHIONERS AND VISITORS: To register, please complete a Registration Form available at the Welcoming Booth in the church vestibule or at the Parish Office or download from the parish website, www.ccparish.ca. Envelopes are assigned to those who request for them.

Eucharistic Emmaus Adoration Chapel

To worship at Corpus Christi’s Adoration Chapel, please come to the parish office to obtain a code for the door lock. Eucharistic Adoration in the Church, every Friday, from 5:45 to 6:45 pm. Holy Hour is at 6:00 pm

想在聖體小堂朝拜耶穌聖體,請親臨堂區辦事處,領取門鎖密碼 聖堂明供聖體時間是每星期五下午 5:45 至 6:45 聖時:下午 6:00

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Saturday, September 14 Vigil Mass 5:00 PM for Lucy Lemme, RIP

Sunday, September15 24th Sunday in Ordinary Time

8:00 AM for Eileen Farkes, RIP

10:00 AM for All Parishioners, Living & Deceased

12:00 PM for Nicomedes Elivera, Birthday

3:00 PM for All Sick People

Monday, September 16 St. Cornelius, Pope and

St. Cyprian, Bishop, Martyrs

8:00 AM for Verna Cousin, Intention

Tuesday, September 17

8:00 AM for Sandra Macapinlac, RIP

Wednesday, September 18

8:00 AM for Doris Hickey, Intention

9:05 AM SCHOOL MASS

Thursday, September 19

8:00 AM for Olandra Cornejo, RIP

Friday, September 20 St. Andrew Kim Tae-gon Priest &

St. Paul Chong Ha-sang and

Companions, Martyrs

8:00 AM for Luzviminda Bautista & Jaime Reyes, RIP

7:00 PM for Milan Rancech, RIP

Saturday, September 21 Feast of St. Matthew,

Apostle and Evangelist

9:00 AM for Florentino Armado, RIP

Vigil Mass 5:00 PM for Rosalinda Roque, RIP

Sunday, September 22 25th Sunday in Ordinary Time

8:00 AM for Devis Antoniazzi, 10:00 AM for Sharon Ritmiller, Birthday

12:00 PM for All Parishioners, Living & Deceased

3:00 PM for Hong Kwong, RIP

Youth Ministry Bottle Drive

The Youth Ministry would like to thank all parishioners who supported our 2 bottle drives for 2019. With your generosity, we have raised $803.40 at the May 18 drive and $657.00 at the September 7 drive – giving us a total of $1,460.40. Thank you to our volunteers – the youth, parents and parishioners. We hope to see you again in our 2020 Bottle Drive!!!

Youth Ministry

The Youth Ministry is inviting all youth from grades 6 to 12 to join our first youth gathering after the summer break on Saturday, September 21st from 2 to 4pm in the school gym. It will be an afternoon full of faith, fun,

and food shared among the youth of our parish and we would love for you to join us! Please contact Melchor Berceles ,604-868.8745 and Lois Umali, 778-386-16220 for details.

SENIORS MINISTRY

Attention all Seniors: Our next meeting will be on Saturday, September 21st at 10:00am in the school gym. Hope to see you all there!!

SEMINAR ON ESTATE PLANNING AND FRAUD PREVENTION FOR SENIORS

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 7 - 8:30PM IN THE GYM

• Richie Wong, Barrister and Solicitor, from Remedios & Company will speak about will and representation agreement planning.

• Rick Lam, CPA, CA, will help you understand how to identify fraud and what to do after you have been victimized.

September 15, 2019 24th Sunday in Ordinary Time

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Christian Life Program – Couples for Christ

You are invited to a Christian Life Program presented by Couples For Christ that will start on September 28, 2019 At the School Gym starting at 10:00AM. The Christian Life Program is an integrated course in the Basics of Christianity leading to a renewed understanding of God’s call to us to be Christian Individuals and/or couples. There are no fees or monetary expenses required of the participants. The only investment required is your time and openness. The CLP is for everyone! Married Couples, singles, divorced/separated, widows/widowers. There will be light snack or lunch prepared each session. Please see posters in the church for details.

FIRST AID, CPR C with AED/OCCUPATIONAL FIRST AID Level 1

Be Prepared for an Emergency - You could save someone’s life! Course for adults and meets WorksafeBC requirements for work. Saturday, October 5 from 9 am - 5 pm at the school gym. Course fee $90.00 – cash or cheque - due October 1 at the parish office. See poster ad for further details and sign-up sheet in the vestibule. Connie Robinson [email protected], Medical Coordinator, Emergency Management Plan

REMINDER ABOUT ONLINE GIVING

To all parishioners who donate to Corpus Christi via online giving: Please tick the “DEDICATED GIVER “ box on your donation envelope when you drop off your envelope at the Sunday Mass collection. This will make our counters know that you donate online. To our other parishioners: If you do not use the online donation facility, please DO NOT TICK any of the boxes on the donation envelope. Just make sure you ALWAYS WRITE THE AMOUNT of your donation on the envelope – we are not in a position to second-guess your donations. Thank you for your cooperation.

ARCHDIOCESAN NEWS

World Day of Migrants and Refugees Mass and Celebration

In his message for the upcoming World Day of Migrants and Refugees, Pope Francis reminds us “it is not just about migrants.” Continuing his 2018 message, he calls us to continue the response to the challenges posed by contemporary migration using four verbs: welcome, protect, promote, and integrate. But he tells us that it is not only limited to migrants and refugees; it is “about all of us, and about the present and future of the human family.” On Sunday, September15, the 105th World Day of Migrants and Refugees will be celebrated by Archbishop J. Michael Miller with Mass and celebration at Our Lady of Good Counsel Parish in Surrey at 3 pm. This is a family event! To participate in the preparation for this special day, contact [email protected].

Living the Good Life

The development of moral virtues is an important element of Catholic educational tradition. This tradition originated before the time of Christ with the Greek philosophers, particularly Plato and Aristotle. You might be surprised at how much we can learn from them about living a good life and being happy. This presentation will include discussion and practical suggestions for making your family life better and your children happier. Wednesday, September18, from 7 - 9:30 pm at St. Anthony of Padua Church Hall in Vancouver

Stewardship Reflections

“Everything I have is yours.” (Luke 15:31)

Our Heavenly Father gives us everything, including the chance to share in His eternal kingdom. Yet, like the

Prodigal Son we are often lured away by the materialism of our society. Do we really want to turn

our backs on all that God offers in exchange for a material wealth that has no lasting value?

Copyright © 2018 Archdiocese of St. Louis

Archbishop’s Dinner The 8th Annual Archbishop’s Dinner will take place on Tuesday, October 22nd at the Hyatt Regency Vancouver. This year, in partnership with Providence Health Care and St. Mark’s College, Archbishop Miller has designated the proceeds to help foster Catholic Health Care ethics in the education of health care providers and in the support of their day-to-day practice. Reception at 6:00 pm followed by dinner at 7:00pm. Tickets are at $175 each with $90 coming back as tax receipt.

Our parish has reserved a table for 12. For those interested, there are still 4 tickets left. You can purchase tickets at the parish office. For information, contact the parish office at 604-324-2265 or email us at [email protected].

Funeral Announcements

In your charity, please remember

William “Bill” Pawluk

Mass of Christian Burial will be held on Tuesday, September 17 @ 10:30 am

Edward “Ed” Matte

Mass of Christian Burial will be held on Friday, September 20 @ 10:30 am

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24th Sunday in Ordinary Time

Perhaps some of you have read in various Catholic periodicals, or websites the alarming outcome of a

survey that was conducted in the US amongst Church going Catholics? Amongst other things, and the most

shocking, is that only one-third (1/3) of Church going Catholics believe in the Real Presence of Jesus Christ in

the Holy Eucharist. Only one-third believe that Jesus Christ is Really, Truly and Substantially Present, Body,

Blood, Soul and Divinity in the Eucharist.

A statistic like this, and what it tells us, doesn’t just drop out of the air. This is the bad, the rotten, fruit

of decades of weak, watered-down, anemic evangelization and catechesis. This is a combination of priests not

teaching the truth over and over and over again and perhaps Bishops who are not emphasizing this by requiring

Eucharistic Adoration, the proper offering of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, correcting abuses, a self-centered

approach to Mass being “done” by priests, and so on. Something I read a long time ago has always stayed with

me: the Sacrifice of the Mass is supposed to transform our personality, not our personality transform the Mass.

In other words we do not make the Mass according to our whims and fancies, but rather we are supposed to

offer the Mass the way the Church calls us to. Two examples: sometimes you hear a priest begin Mass “Good

morning everyone.” You feel obligated to respond “Good morning Father.” NO! The priest, the man, is not the

focus, but rather the Holy Trinity is the focus, and it is not about “me” becoming the focus of your attention, but

about “us” being led into the mystery of Christ’s sacrifice. That is how we will become holy. There are many

other things like this that have seeped into the Mass that need to be stopped. One other example I have heard

from some Catholics, but have not heard this in Vancouver, is their being denied the right they have to kneel

when receiving Holy Communion, and being made to feel like they are doing something wrong when the

receive on the tongue.

The Eucharist is the source and summit of the Christian life, it is the very root of the spiritual life and we

as Catholics need to grow in our faith regarding the Real Presence and act in all ways towards Jesus who is

really present in the Holy Eucharist.

This week I will be giving a day of recollection to the teachers and staff of the school. I ask everyone to

pray for them as we begin this new school year.

This is an ongoing encouragement to sign up for Formed and Word on Fire. These are two great

Catholic platforms that allow you to learn more about our Catholic Faith in the comfort of your home or

wherever you are. Just email the parish office – [email protected]

More things to come about our parish website being prepared for our Capital Campaign to kick into high

gear.

Sincerely in Christ

Fr. Hamilton

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本堂神父的話

常年期第二十四主日

也許你們會閱讀過不同的天主教刊物,或網站,警告了一些美國對經常參與聖堂活動的天主教徒的問卷

結果。在不少的問題中,最震撼的是只有三份之一的經常參與彌撒的天主教徒相信基督真實的存在於聖

體聖事內。只有三份之一相信耶穌基督真實的形體,聖體、聖血和天主性存在於聖體內。

這樣的統計,和它所告訴我們的並不會自動消失於空氣中。這是敗壞的,腐朽的數十載貧乏的,淡化的

,病弱的教理講授所致。這是幾個因素結合而成的。有些神父沒有一次一次又一次的好好教導,也許是

些主教們沒有強調和堅持朝拜聖體的重要性,恰當地奉獻彌撒聖祭,更正自我中心的思想,妄以為彌撒

為神父所“主持”的等等。很久以前我曾讀及一份思想,它也經常跟我一起:彌撒聖祭是要轉變我的本性

,而非以我的本性轉變彌撒。換句話說我們不是按我們的意念和構想去奉獻彌撒,但應該是按教會教導

我們的方法去奉獻彌撒。以下是兩個例子:有時你聽到神父在開彌撒前說“各位早晨!” 你會自然回應“

神父早晨!” 錯的!神父和人都不是主要的,而天主聖三才是焦點所在,這也不是有關於“我” 作為被關

注的,被關注的卻是“我們” 被帶領到基督犧牲的奧秘中。這就我們成聖之路。還有很多其他的事,都

靜靜的滲入彌撒之中。另一個事例,我在一些天主教教友,但不是在溫哥華聽到的,這個誤傳說:跪下

領聖體和口領聖體都是不妥。

基督聖體是我們基督徒生命的巔峯,這是我們靈修生命的根源,我們天主教徒信仰的成長都有賴基督真

實的存在於聖體聖事之內其存在和相關的一切工作。

這星期,我會為教師和各學校員工舉行一個集思會,請大家為我們新學年的開始祈禱。

我持續地鼓勵大家登記瀏覽 Form 和 Word on Fire。這是兩個很好的天主教平台,讓你在家舒服的環境中

,和任何你喜歡的地方,多學些天主教的信仰。只要電郵我們堂區便可 — [email protected].

堂區一點新的消息,我們的網站正作新的準備以配合進一步堂區的基建籌慕。

忠於基督內的

Hamilton 神父

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WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMPER 25, 2019

CORPUS CHRISTI PRESENTS

Understand how to plan your will and representation agreement

Richie Wong, BA, JD, Barrister & Solicitor, from Remedios & Company will guide you through the process and show you how to

avoid some of the common pitfalls.

ESTATE PLANNING AND FRAUD PREVENTION

Learn about ways to prevent fraud for seniors

Rick Lam, CPA, CA, CFP, CLU, EPC will

help you understand the types of fraud, and what to do after you have been victimized. Presentation from CPABC

FROM 7:00-8:30 PM IN THE GYM

A SEMINAR FOR SENIORS

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5 Steps to saying you’re sorry (and meaning it) according to St. Chrysostom

These elements of a good apology can help us avoid being insincere. Sometimes, I apologize out of weariness. The argument has been going on long enough, I’m tired of it, and realize my only escape is a quick apology. On the one hand, I suppose it’s an act of humility. I don’t particularly care any-more to insist on a need to be proven correct, or to see myself victorious against an antagonist. So I swallow my pride, say what needs to be said, and move on. On the other hand, my actions could certainly be interpreted as cynical. This, for those who know me, is the far more plausible explanation. I know I’m not really sorry, but I offer an insincere apology in the hopes that I can move on to a more pleasant activity. It seems that there’s a fine line between an apology as a peace offering and total insincerity. We all fall some-where on that spectrum. Where ever you are on that sliding scale, though, I’m sure none of us would agree this is an ideal scenario — to offer a quick apology simply to end a disagreement. A true apology involves much more commitment and follow-through. That concept of “follow-through” can be vague, though. What exactly is in-volved with a true, sincere apology? Recently, I found an excellent explanation of the fine art of apologizing while reading the work of St. John Chrysos-tom. John lived in the 4th century and, in addition to being a bishop, was a prolific writer and speaker. He was nicknamed Chrysostom, “golden-tongued,” because of the fact that he was a world-famous preacher known for the eloquence of his words. I’m sure he could have talked his way out of anything with or without an apology. In-stead, he chose to look below the surface level to understand the substance of what makes an apology truly sin-cere and effective. According to John, here are the five elements of a good apology:

1. OWN THE MISTAKE St. John Chrysostom says, “Render judgment on yourself.” By this, he means that for an apology to be sincere we must admit the error.

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The worst of all apologies, in my opinion, is the one where someone says, “I’m sorry what I said offended you.” That phrase, notice, carefully absolves the speaker of actually doing anything wrong. The mistake is placed all on the victim — You misheard. You’re too sensitive. You didn’t react appropriately. For your mistake, I am sorry. Most people have caught on to this little trick and understand immediately that the apology is fake, so it doesn’t do any good. Better to make an honest examination and clearly admit what part you actually played and what mistakes you need to own.

2. DROP ONGOING ILL FEELINGS John urges us to “keep from bearing a grudge.” A true apology must have some cost to it, which includes letting go of ill will and a sense of interior righteousness so we can at least attempt to see the other’s point of view. Other-wise, the same argument will assuredly flare up again in the future. Even if we agree to disagree, it’s vitally im-portant to allow the apology to clear the air and not carry negative emotions forward in the relationship.

3. ASK FORGIVENESS John advises that apologies include a request for forgiveness “from the bottom of your heart.” The simple act of asking forgiveness allows the other person to participate in the process. Often, in my life, I’ve found that it also works miracles in dissolving emotional tension, and the apology is quickly reciprocated.

4. MAKE RESTITUTION John says that making restitution “has a great power, more than you can tell.” To me, the best restitution I can make is to take steps towards eliminating the issue that started the argument. It may be changing the way I speak, being more sensitive to how other people are feeling, or changing an offensive habit. A real apology is followed up by an actual change in behavior. This is the hardest part, but is vital to a true reconciliation.

5. MAINTAIN HUMILITY I take it back; humility is the hardest part. John insists that it is necessary, though, saying it’s just as important as “all the words that could be spoken.” In my experience, he’s exactly right. I notice that I am far more forgiving of flaws and mistakes in people who are humble and kind, probably because it is obvious they meant no offense. I, on the other hand, am not humble (I’m working on it), so my actions, even if I intend them to be benevolent, don’t always seem so very kind. When it comes to making a true apology, humility is key because it allows us to both accept and receive apologies more readily. Knowing the parts of what makes for a sincere apology helps us to think through exactly why we’re apologizing and how to make it effective. For me, it helps keep me from quickly blurting out an apology before I’ve really thought through what it means and how I need to follow through on my words. For you, perhaps it will help you recognize and respond to a sincere apology. In the end, the point isn’t the words themselves, it’s the reconcilia-tion.

https://aleteia.org/2019/09/08/5-steps-to-saying-youre-sorry-and-meaning-it-according-to-st-chrysostom/