13111967 rapid eye movement workbook

Life SkillsWorkbook

forClients

Rapid Eye Technology (RET)

LIFE SKILLS WORKBOOK 9/00-2-

Vision Statement

In a spirit of gratitude and service,

the Rapid Eye Technology model

is dedicated to enhancing the

awareness of the worth, dignity, uniqueness

and divine nature of

each individual, providing an

environment for transformation

through education,

unconditional love,

honor and community.



Table of Contents

RET Vision Statement 2Acknowledgments 5

Introduction 5

Instructions for this Workbook 6

What Are The Life Skills 7

The Principle of Thought 8

All Thought Is Creative 9

Getting Control of Our Most Powerful Tool 10

The Flow of Thought 10

Three Principles of Manifestation 11

l0 Big Feelings 15

You Are Always Right 27

Visualization 29

Relationships 29

Additional Activities 32

The Principle of Perception 34

The Philosopher's Answer 35

Five Blind Men 35

Projection Makes Perception 38

Perception and Criticism 38


Seven Stages from Projection to Integration 41

The Principle of Choice and Accountability 42

The Formation of Patterns 43

Choosing and Deciding 46

Challenges 48


How to Love Yourself 50

The Principle of Cause and Effect 51

Cycle of Thought 53



Cycles of Creation 54

Denial 55


The Principle of Abundance and Gratitude 62

Attraction 64

Release 64

Another View of Lack 65

An Attitude of Gratitude 66

What Can I Do? 67

Affirming the Perfect Day 67


The Principle of Health and Healing 71

Our Health is Our Responsibility 73

Stress 74

Releasing The Tension 77

Humor 78

Progressive Relaxation 79

Styles of Communication 83

The Principle of Harmony and Rhythm 88

Access Your Priorities 93


Journey Drumming 95

Listening 97

Reading List 98

Bibliography 99



Life Skills Workbook

Acknowledgments

We appreciate the many clients, books, and other trainings that have been our teachers. We hope youwill find this workbook helpful and inspiring.

You can copy anything in this workbook or you may buy additional copies from The Rapid EyeInstitute.

Written and edited by Ranae Johnson, Founder – Lynette Butcher and Lynell Beckstrom, Researchand Development Directors.

IntroductionThis is a workbook designed to enhance self discovery. Inner work is a continuous life process. Themore you focus on knowing who you are, the better your life will work. This workbook is meant totake you to the places where you might have trapped trauma and unresolved emotions stored. Thisworkbook will increase your knowledge and awareness of why things show up in your life the waythey do. Rapid Eye Technology sessions discharge the old trapped trauma and great ly assists you inmaking the connections on all levels, physical , emotional, mental and spiritual. Life Skills assist youin developing new ideas and ways to create quality living.

The truth and awareness you will discover will be yours alone. Each of us in this world goes on ourown personal journey. We all have wonderful creative powers to discover. As we bridge the belief inseparation and connect to our source, we will discover nothing is out side of ourselves. We begin tofind a wonderful new freedom.

Love and Light,Ranae

Raintree Press3748 - 74th Avenue SE

Salem, OR 97301503) 399-1181



Instructions for this Workbook

This workbook is an instructional experiencefor clients traveling beyond the realm of thepast. This journal is designed to promotepositive life-style change. It depends uponyour motivation and hard work. Your openand honest responses will allow you topersonalize the information provided to yourindividual circumstances.

Don’t concern yourself as much withneatness, handwriting or spelling as you dowith the accuracy of your statements and theexpression of your feelings. Feel free to useany white space of margins to complete yourthoughts.

Something to Consider: asks you to take afew moments to reflect on a particular issueand determine how it relates to yourdiscovery.

Fact Finder: offers you information that maybe of interest and of assistance. It may expandon the basic facts in a section in order to assistyou in grasping an important aspect of thediscovery of yourself.

It contains exercises and study materials thatare best done in the life skills class or withyour technician and this workbook or both.

It will help you to move beyond your oldcreations and create something new, instead ofreturning to old familiar patterns. Therewards are new insights and connectionsabout how your life works - or why it doesn’twork.

As you proceed you will become aware ofyour own creative power, you will be amazedat how the life skills work on physical,emotional, mental, and spiritual levels. It isthe other half of Rapid Eye Technology.

Discovering the Perfect Self Within

If you were building a house you would firsthave a plan, you would spend a lot of timemaking sure the detailed of the plan were allin place before you ever began to build.

You would go to the plan often to make sureyou were building the house correctly. Life issimilar to building a house. The master p lan isour perfect self just as God created us. We goback to the original plan or blueprint often. Aswe build our self we sometimes forget tocheck in with the master blueprint. We createour ego states after earlier patterns.

We look for our source outside of ourselves.This causes a lot of delay and pain. Finallywhen we have tried everything else - we gowithin and discover the real self and find asimple loving plan that was there all along - ashumans we have convinced ourselves that lifeis hard and we are very suspicious of anythingsimple. Love heals - awareness of life iscreative power restored.

Reading or hearing about anything remains inour intellect - we must experience orparticipate to gain experiential knowledge. Itis the difference in eating an apple or studyingwhat an apple tastes like. Truth is simple itgoes beyond words. You will find your owntruth. Begin the following exercises todetermine insights about you. The workbookwill assist you in putting the puzzle piecestogether of a much larger plan that any of ushave ever dreamed. What you get out of thelife skills is for you to determine.

It is your journey - make it a good one.



What Are The Life Skills?Life Skills are the knowledgeable application of

natural laws, or principles which govern human

development. We ha ve what we call our s even

princip les of un iversal t ruth. A thorough

understanding of these principles help us move

into alignment with the natural harmony and

rhythm of the un iverse.

Thought

Thought is the beginn ing of all creation. We

create our own thou ghts. We are free to think

anything we want . The intent of thought is the

primary mover of all creation. Change our

thoughts and we will have a better chance of

c h a n g in g o u r l i v es . E n e r g y f o l l o w s

though t—matt er follows en ergy.

Perception

Perception is how we understand or view our

world based up on our experience and is filtered

through our judgments. It is so for everyon e,

each person living in a world of his/her own

perceptual creation. Most emotions stem from

our perceptions. Comprehension of this princip le

dissolves conflict into understanding.

Choice and Acco untability

We choose how we feel about our experiences.

The univ erse is always accountable to respond

abundan tly to our choices, giving us experience

according to our choice. Choosing suggests the

ability to choose again. We can choose to

perceive differently and thus change our life

experiences. Because of th e responsib ility the

universe has to us, we are bound to the

consequences of our choices. When we choose

again how we feel about life, we change the

consequence the un iverse delivers to u s. Cho ice

and accountability, as a unit, equates to the

development of personal empowerment.

Cause and Effect

What we think, creates and returns again to us

multip lied, offering us the opportun ity to change

our thinking. Since energy follows thought and

matter follows energy; nega tive exp eriences w ill

follow negative perceptions just as positive

experiences will follow positive perceptions.

Recognizing how this principle works helps us

reclaim our power, changing the cause (our

thinking) and the effect (our experience).

Abundance and Gratitude

Abu ndan ce m e a n s p le n ty , s u ff i ci e n t,

overflowing, and is a manifestation of thou ght.

The universe is set up to give us what ever we

want in abu ndance. Therefore, what w e feed

(give energy to) will grow. Gratitude helps us

appreciate our abundance as well as giving us

the power to change the form our abun dance

takes.

Health a nd Hea ling

Health and healing is the process of accessing

and maintaining a state of wholeness. W e are

responsib le for our own phys ical, emotio nal,

mental, and spiritual health. As we incorporate

all of these p rinciples we understand what we

require in order to consciously enjoy this state of

wholeness to its fullest.

Harmo ny and Rhy thm

All univers al laws or p rinciples w ork togeth er in

complete harmony. All life exists in a type of

one-song rhythm of tone presenting a musical

vibration that creates perfect balance such as one

might find in a symp hony orches tra. T his

princ iple focuses on combin ing all the life sk ill

princip les and looking at how to apply them,

together, t o create pat terns th at work in life.



Thought



ThoughtThink for a moment. Everything starts with athought. Your home was first a thought insomeone’s mind. Your car started out in themind of a designer or engineer. Everythingthat exists in the present moment was first athought.

Thinking is a creative force. We are alwaysthinking. There is never a second when we areotherwise engaged. Even in sleep orunconsciousness we are thinking; musclesrequire sleep, yet thought processes require norest.

Some thoughts create corporeally, others diein the realm of thought. Some thoughts aremeant to be created in our world and othersare meant to remain thoughts only. Ourthoughts reside in a realm that is free of thelimitations of this world; that is, we are free tothink anything. We can imagine anything.Since we can imagine or think anything wewish, we can also choose what you will think.

We control our reality by controlling ourthoughts. Our world is exactly as we havecreated it. Dr. Deepak Chopra refers to thespace between each thought as “The realm ofinfinite possibilities.”

All Thought is Creative

“In the Beginning was the Word… John 1:1"

The principle of thought is; all thought iscreative. We are creating our world at thisvery instant. It is precisely as we think it is,and the moment we take responsibility for ourworld will be the moment we take control ofour world! “For as he thinketh in his heart, sois he.” - Proverbs 23:7

Thought is the principle that puts all otherprinciples into motion. Nothing happenswithout thought.

All our worries, woes, troubles, enemies,poverty, and griefs have all been created byus. Though we may point the finger of blameat someone else, we are doing the thinking inour world. Perhaps it’s time we tookresponsibility for our thoughts and change ourthinking! “When I feel alone and separate, Ihave failed to forgive.”

We can start by realizing that our thoughts arefree. We may think any thought we want tothink at any point in time. We can choose toimagine our world as perfect, just the way wewant it to be: safe, exciting, challenging,successful, warm, comfortable, peaceful, fullof friends and loved ones. We can, if we wish,think of an enemy as a friend in our thoughts.We can see our marriage as perfect in ourthoughts.

We can imagine getting a raise, driving a newcar, buying a new house, or boat. We canimagine anything–without limits. We canchoose to imagine life as we would like it tobe and then practice focusing our thoughts onthat image. Act as if or “Be” the part.

To focus thoughts, remember that all thoughtsare energy. Energy vibrates at various levelsof intensity and frequency. Spiritual thoughtenergy vibrates at a much higher frequencythan does temporal, earthly, three-dimensionalenergy. In order for us to slow spiritualthought frequency down to manifest into ourthree-dimensional world, we must hold thethought until it manifests.

As we put energy focus into the thought, itbecomes manifest in our three-dimensionalworld of substance. Most of the time,however, we send our thought vibrations outin many directions at once, negating the effectof focusing. Therefore, our desired thoughtsnever take form in this dimension and we feelfrustrated. You are probably familiar with the



feeling of working hard at something just tosee it fall apart. Maybe it was a relationship ora project at work. It seems, at times, no matterwhat the work is or how hard we work, ourexpected outcome will fail to manifest.

Traumatic memories are something else thatcan stand in the way of focusing thought.When positive thoughts are negated withtraumas, the result is frustration. It is possible,however, to clear out the traumatic memoriesin the realm of thought through high spiritualexperience.

The RET process works in the realm ofthought. We work with thoughts, ratherthan corporeal reality. RET is another wayto clear neural distortions.

Truth is positive. Truth is forgiveness andlove. It is knowing we are loved andworthwhile. We can free ourselves of thebonds of guilt and fear, see our great worth,let go of guilt and learn to control ourthoughts. When we identify with the power ofour own thoughts, there is nothing we areunable to do, no obstacles we will be unable toovercome. Faith is this power. It can literallymove mountains - in thought and in our lives.If we fail to change our thinking, themountains remain.

Getting Control of Our Most Powerful Tool

The mind is the world’s most powerfulinstrument. By using our mind in the way wechoose to think, we literally create our ownworld. If we change our mind, our behaviorwill change and so will our reality, our world.

Because the mind is the source of all of ourexperiences, we can always trace our lifelessons back to a pattern of thinking. Whenwe discover the pattern of thought that needsto be changed, the physical symptoms ormanifestations will disappear, for theirfunction as the communicator of a lesson is nolonger needed.

Miracles are fruits of faith, or the process ofacting as if. How do we act as if? We beginby modeling, or imitating, the way we wouldbehave if we had already achieved the desiredresult. If our desired result was to be a greatchef, we would study cooking and use thesame recipes that the great chefs use. Wewould never become a great chef by stirringtogether the same old box of macaroni andcheese every night.

As we begin to practice acting as if, itbecomes more readily apparent that everythought we have makes up some segment ofthe world we see. It is with thought that wemust work.

Every thought we entertain contributes to truthor to illusion. Either it extends truth or itmultiplies the illusion! What is an illusion?Can we see our physical life as an illusion? Ifwe did, would it make a difference in ourthinking? No one can be a slave to twomasters. We must choose in which directionwe want to send our thought energy. With ourthoughts we give energy to the way our lifewill be.

Correction happens only at the level wherechange is possible. Recognize it isunnecessary to feel worried, afraid, or feelsorry for or be critical of ourselves or others.Realize that doubting is the primary cause ofmany of our troubles. Love is the way tocorrect our perception. We control ourthoughts by controlling the focus of ourattention. “Love allows change.”

The Flow of Thought

Creativity flows in this way: spiritual power,mental direction, emotional focus, physicalmanifestation. The reason so many of ourthoughts fail to come into physicalmanifestation in our lives is that we judgethem and discard them in our thoughts. Wefocus them out a t the emotional level.



Therefore, our physical world seemscompletely out of focus or chaotic.

Our thoughts will naturally flow where ourattention is focused. A famous English satiristwas once asked if he would teach the art ofcaricature. He refused to do so.

“It is not a faculty to be envied,” he explained.“Take my advice and never draw a caricature.You’ll get into that habit and from then onnothing will look good to you. People have aface divine and that is what we should see.”

Some people are caricaturists at heart withoutbeing artists. They habitually look for flaws inappearance as well as personali ty. They find acertain amount of pleasure in poking fun at aperson’s nose, mouth, or mannerisms. Thus,they lose the facility of seeing the good things,of seeing people as they are with the charmand beauty they really possess.

Belief begins with belief in ourselves. Whenwe look in the mirror, we are looking at ourbest friend or our worst enemy. Our worldrevolves around us. It starts and ends in theheart. What we are and hope to become beginswith belief in ourselves. We believed wecould walk when we took our first step. Webelieved we could talk when we said our firstword. We believed we could earn moneywhen we started our first job. We believed wecould succeed and we probably did becausewe believed, or we failed because we believedwe would fail. “Where there is no vision, thepeople perish.” - Proverbs 29:18

Our whole life is based on belief/faith of onekind or another. We add to the growth andprogress of our community when we believein progress. We support law and order withour belief in fairness and justice. We help allpeople everywhere with our belief in them.

“All that we ar e, arises with our tho ughts, with

our thoughts we make our world.”

-- The Buddha

“It is the mind that maketh good of ill, thatmaketh wretch or happy, rich or poor.” - Edmond Spencer

Crafting Re ality with T hought

You could spend years gathering selfknowledge and self awareness, but in order tochange anything you must be skillful inapplying the principles of directed thought.Self knowledge without skill in creating withthought renders your knowledge impotent.However, knowing how to create with thoughtwithout self knowledge renders your lifeimportant. The empowerment growth processis uniquely designed to bring these two vitaldimensions together; self discovery and selfcreation.

The formula for manifestation has beenaround since the dawn of the universe. It ishow the universe works. Every major practicalphilosophy has discovered these principles formanifestation. It is only by working with theseprinciples and techniques over a period oftime that their extraordinary power can beclearly seen and appreciated.

As we learn how to skillfully apply theprinciples of thought ,we discovered not onlydid we have the ability to have our prayers(otherwise known as affirmations andvisualizations) answered but also that our livestake on greater grace and ease. We beginliving in harmony with the universe. Theprinc iples of manifestation and theirapplication become clear, pragmaticguidelines for living our lives. This continuesto be the most powerful knowledge we have,and we hold in great respect.

The Three Principles of Manifestation

• The Principle of Creative Thought: what webelieve is what we create.• The Principle of Mental Clearing; we mustclear our self limiting beliefs before we can



manifest new beliefs.• The Principle of Vision; in order tomanifest, we must have a clear vision of whatwe want to create.

Manifesting Thoughts

The process of manifesting our thoughts is themost natural thing we do. Whether we areaware of it or not we are always doing it. Ourlife today reflects what we’ve been thinkingabout in the past. Our life in the future will bea reflection of what we’re thinking about now.

In other words, you are already manifesting,and the techniques we’re offering don’trequire any unusual ability. They do requirethat you be aware of where you want to directyour mental attention and that you learn howto do it with skill. They require that you beconscious of the manifesting process ratherthan continuing to unconsciously manifestthings you don’t want.

Think of your mind as a fertile field. Takingcontrol of your thoughts and beliefs makes thedifference between a garden that you cultivateand a patch of ground that is left to grow wild,whether cultivated or neglected, somethingwill grow. If you don’t plant the seeds ofsomething you want to cultivate, then weedswill grow and continue to produce more of thesame.

There are two parts to manifesting. First youneed to create a mental seed, which consists ofa directed thought called an affirmation and aspecific image called a visualization. Thenyou need to cultivate and nourish this mentalseed so that it bears fruit - this is called theenergizing process.

Emotions

Emotions are simply a belief plus a feeling.Sometimes people have a difficult timeidentifying their emotions or expressing themin a clear and effective manner. Some may

have used mood altering drugs to hide frompainful emotions. Still others may attempt toshow false emotions to gain some real orimagined advantage over people around them.

In the majority of cases, problems withfeelings originated at an early age. People mayhave grown up in emotionally unhealthyfamilies. As children they may have beenabandoned in physical ways, such as being leftalone, given inadequate food, clothing orshelter or been beaten or sexually abused.They may have suffered from emotionalabandonment by being expected to meetunrealistic expectations and being verballyattacked for coming up short. Their feelingsof trauma may have gotten trapped.

The consequence is that people with troubledchildhoods often have a difficult timerecognizing and expressing their emotions.

Something To Consider

“So I filled out this sheet about the kinds offeelings I had experienced growing up. Thetechnician thought it was strange that I hadnever been lonely, scared, sad or angry.

She asked me why I thought other people hadchose those kind of feelings and I didn’t haveany of them.

I told her the truth. It was because I had to betough.”

Briefly describe how your family expressedfeelings when you were a child.



Describe the feelings you felt most often asa child.

What are your strongest feelings today?Describe how you express them.

Your Feelings List: How You Feel

There are so many different kinds of feelingsyou can experience. And often you mix two ormore of them together. You may experiencetwo opposite feelings about a single event. Forexample, you may feel relieved about notgetting the new job you think you wanted yetangry because you were passed over.

Here is a feelings list. Circle those feelingsyou experience most often. Put an Xthrough those you rarely feel.

Afraid Envious Lethargic

Aggressive Exhausted Mischievous

Agonized Frightened Misera ble

Angry Frustrated Negative

Anxious Grievous Obs tinate

Apologe tic Guilty Optim istic

Arrogant Goofy Pained

Bashful Happy Parano id

Bored Horrified Perplexed

Cautious Hot Regretful

Cold Hurt Relieved

Confident Hysterical Shocked

Disappointed Innocent Smug

Disgusted Jealous Sorry

Ecstatic Joyful Tense

Enraged Lonely



Your Feelings List: What Others See

How does your feelings list look to otherpeople? Which feelings do you show toothers?

Use this box to show the feelings you thinkothers see in you. Feel free to express thosefeelings in pictures, doodles or words andphrases.

Think about the ways you experience eachemotion. Now write about a recent situationfor each emotion you have experienced.

Recently I felt angry when…

Recently I felt guilty when…

Recently I grieved when…

Recently I felt resentful when…

Recently I felt fearful when…

Recently I felt hopeful when…



Feelings Can Come in Combinations

You don’t always experience one feeling at atime. Two or more feelings can beexperienced at once and they may be atopposite ends of the emotional spectrum.

My example of this is…

Feelings Don’t Just Disappear

If feelings are ignored, they don’t just goaway. Feelings stick around and take othershapes and forms. Often, they do damage toyour physical or mental health. Feelingsburied alive never die.


Others Don’t “Make You” Feel a CertainWay

The feelings you experience belong to you.Your feelings may be influenced by others,but your feelings belong solely to you.


Feelings Can Be Sneaky

Often your feelings come in disguises. Youcan label your emotions. For example, youcan feel you are angry when you are reallyafraid, or you can feel you are sad or confusedwhen you are really angry.


Feelings Follow Change

Strong feelings often come about whenchanges are taking place. When you rethink,redo, reorganize or rearrange, feelings maycome on strong.


10 Big Feelings

Some feelings seem more intense than others.The intensity of an emotion depends uponhow important of a role you believe an eventhas or will have on your life. It is important torecognize that the intensity is based on ourperception, which may or may not be factual.

Ten feelings you may be carrying with you arebriefly explored on the following pagesbecause they often play important roles inreclaiming your life.



The Feelings We Carry

The first three feelings discussed are mostoften thought to be positive: happiness, hopeand serenity. The other seven emotions havethe potential of getting in the way of yourquality of life. It is important to note that thisdoes not mean that they are “bad” emotions.Feelings of anger, guilt, grief and fear all havehelpful or healing benefits to people in variouscircumstances.

Happiness

Happiness is one of those all-encompassingemotions that can include many differentfeelings such as jubilance, joy, gladness,elation and cheerfulness. “Feeling happy” isyour reaction to a positive circumstance.“Being happy” is often used in a broader timeframe relating to how you view your overallstate of mind.

You may wish to pay special attention tohappiness. You may not have stopped andappreciated for some time those happyfeelings that come with honest effort and hardwork.

Place and X on the scale to indicate howfrequently and intensely you currentlyexperience the feeling of happiness. (10 ismaximum and 0 is never).

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Describe an experience in which you havebeen genuinely happy.

What do you see yourself able to do to bringgreater happiness into your life?

Hope

Hope is a vital emotion of life. It reassuresyou that something better may be around thecorner. Hope is an emotion that responds towhere you are now and where you wish to be.Hope also has different shades of meaningsuch as confidence, anticipation and faith.

Feelings of hope can be effective copingstrategies to deal with situations that arechallenging and uncomfortable.




One type of hope can cause considerabledamage to a productive life. False hopedepends on outcomes that go against realisticodds. Clinging to false hope can keep aperson from taking necessary action.

Example: “I hope I win the lottery so I won’thave to find another part-time job.”

Place and X on the scale to indicate howfrequently and intensely you currentlyexperience the feeling of hope. (10 ismaximum and 0 is never).

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

What are you hopeful about today?

What can you do to help make that hope berealized?

Serenity

Serenity is an emotion that is a positive stateof mind. It is a feeling of being at peace withyourself. Serenity offers a sense of calmnessand comfort.

This feeling of serenity is only possible afterwe have come to terms with our past, arewilling to let go of our need for control andpower and ultimately have faith in a powergreater than ourselves.

Most often serenity does not comeimmediately. It is created after a period ofcons i s t en t ly r e s p o n d i n g t o da i lyresponsibilities and living with honesty andintegrity.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity toaccept the things I cannot

change, courage to change thethings I can and wisdom to

know the difference.

Place and X on the scale to indicate howfrequently and intensely you currentlyexperience the feeling of serenity. (10 ismaximum and 0 is never).

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10



Describe an experience in which you have feltserene.

What can you do to achieve a greater feelingof serenity?

Fear

Fear is an feeling that is common to allpeople. In many cases, fear freezes the personfrom taking action and the fear just gets largerand larger. In time fer and anxiety are socommon that they are always present withoutany particular event or circumstances attachedto them.

Fact Finder

Here are some suggestions for dealing withfear:

• Recognize and accept that fear is normaland is a part of everyone’s life.

• Admit your feelings of fear to people whoare close to you; talk about them.

• Identify the reasons for your fear and takeappropriate action.

• Ask for help.

Place and X on the scale to indicate howfrequently and intensely you currentlyexperience the feeling of fear. (10 ismaximum and 0 is never).

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Make a list of your past fears.



Make a list of your present day fears. If youhave the same fears for both lists, simply putan asterisk (*) by them in the first list.

What can you do to lessen any of your presentday fears?

Anger

There are many shades of anger that play outin people’s lives. They range in intensity andmeaning, Some people use anger to hide fromother emotions.

Others may hide their anger in the cloak of

another feeling. Still others may feel anger,but attempt to keep it buried withinthemselves. Some people use anger as ameans of getting their way in social situations.

Anger is an emotion that can block healthyliving. People who let their anger “run riot”will not be able to make wise choices in theirdaily affairs. People who totally stuff theiranger will not be capable of receiving theemotional benefits of their recovery. They willbecome bitter and resentful.

Dealing with Anger

Feel it: “I cannot pretend my angry feelingdoes not exist. I accept it as a real and honestfeeling.”

Accept Responsibility: “I am responsible formy own behavior. I cannot control the actionsof others. I can act in a manner which is rightfor me.”

Be honest with yourself: “What am I reallyfeeling? Am I judging other people? Am Iangry because my will is not being met?”


Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure thatcan take many forms:

Furious Seething Enraged

Hostile Vengeful Incensed

Abused Humiliated Hateful

Sabotaged Betrayed Perturbed

Rebellious Outraged Fuming

Exploited Mad Frustration



Place and X on the scale to indicate howfrequently and intensely you currentlyexperience the feeling of anger. (10 ismaximum and 0 is never).

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Make a list of your past angers.

Make a list of your present day angers. If youhave the same angers for both lists, simply putan asterisk (*) by them in the first list.

What can you do to lessen any of your presentday angers?

Grief

Grief is emotional suffering caused by a loss,

real, imagined or anticipated. The greater the

loss is to the individual, the more intense the

grief will be.

Grief can be both normal and healthy. It is aprocess you go through to cope with asignificant loss and get on with your life.

Fact Finder

Working Through Grief

• Recognize the loss.

• Allow yourself to experience the pain,anger, depression and fear.

• Give yourself time to heal.

• Get lots of rest.

• Eat healthy.



• Stick with your regular activity schedule.

• Keep decision making to a minimum.

• It’s okay to ask for comforting.

• Do nice things for yourself.

• Expect a positive outcome–heal at your ownpace.

• Keep a daily journal.

• Share your grief; listen to others whogrieve.

Place and X on the scale to indicate howfrequently and intensely you currentlyexperience the feeling of grief. (10 ismaximum and 0 is never).

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Make a list of losses in your life. Then bracket( ) those for which you recognize there is stillunresolved , incomplete grief.

What do you think is getting in the way ofyour bringing resolution to this pain?

Guilt

Guilt is the feeling you get when yourbehavior does not match your values.

Guilt can be healthy. It allows you to makeamends, change your behavior and get on withyour life.

Guilt focuses on the deed: “I did a bad act.”Shame focuses on you: “I am a bad person.”

Values = Behavior R Guilt

Values = Behavior R Harm ony

Place and X on the scale to indicate howfrequently and intensely you currentlyexperience the feeling of guilt. (10 ismaximum and 0 is never).

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10



Make a list of situations and experiences forwhich you are feeling guilty.

What can you do at this time to either cope ina healthy manner with the guilt or to lessen it?

Shame

Shame is really not an feeling as much as it isa belief or state of mind. Shame is an innerbelief that tells you that you are bad,inadequate, defective or unworthy. Shame isjudging yourself and giving yourself a failinggrade.

Yet shame may be difficult to recognize inother people or in yourself. That is becauseshame often hides itself as other emotions orbehaviors. It can stay hidden as it gets biggerand bigger.

Self Messages

Self-messages can either encourage shame togrow or serve as a foundation for feelings ofself-esteem.

Shameful messages

• I must not let others know who I really am. Imust continue to fool them into believing I amsomeone that I am not.

• I feel so lonely and isolated inside.

• I am always feeling nervous and anxiousabout everything. That’s why I need to stay incontrol. I can’t allow things just to take theircourse.

Messages of self-esteem

• I can laugh at myself. It’s okay to makemistakes; everyone does.

• When I am wrong, I can promptly admit it. Idon’t need to hide from being human.

• I can let go of my expectations of otherpeople. I cannot control other people’sfeelings or behaviors. I am only responsiblefor me.


Shame takes on many forms.

Rigidity Shutting d own Numbness

Depression Controlling Rage

Perfection Procrastination



Place and X on the scale to indicate howfrequently and intensely you currentlyexperience the feeling of shame. (10 ismaximum and 0 is never).

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Words that are reflective of shame areviewing oneself as:

inadequate bad damaged

a loser inferior worthless

stupid dirty no good

damaged goods

Circle any of the above shame-based words orphrases that you often think about yourself.Think about where those messages camefrom.

What messages can you give yourself thatultimately offer greater esteem?

Two Nasty Feelings:Resentment & Self-Pity

Resentment

Resentment comes around when things don’tgo your way. You may think you werecheated or insulted or harmed in some way.Whether your resentment is based on facts orfalse beliefs makes little difference.Resentment is leftover anger that can keepyou from peace and joy.

Three ways to free yourself from resentmentare:1. Take full responsibility for your ownbehavior.

2. Accept the world as it is today.

3. Forgive those people who you feel haveharmed you.


Dealing with Resentments

“Resentment is the number one offender.From it stems all forms of spiri tualbankruptcy, for we have been not onlymentally and physically ill, we have also beenspiritually ill.”

Place and X on the scale to indicate howfrequently and intensely you currentlyexperience the feeling of resentment. (10 ismaximum and 0 is never).

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10



Make a list of resentments you are st illexperiencing today.

What can you do to “let go” of thoseresentments?

Self-Pity

Self-pity says, “I am more interested in feelingsorry for myself than taking positive action tomove forward.”

Self-pity paints a person as a helpless victimof life; “Why should I like myself, whennobody else likes me?”

Three ways to free yourself from self-pity are:1. Take steps toward a solution, even if theymust be small steps at first.

2. Focus some of your energy on helpingothers around you.

3. Give yourself credit for where you aretoday, and your willingness to change.

Place and X on the scale to indicate howfrequently and intensely you currentlyexperience the feeling of self-pity. (10 ismaximum and 0 is never).

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

What self-pity thoughts or phrases do youuse?

What do you need to tell yourself or do to getout of a self-pity mode?

Your emotions are a normal and importantpart of your life. Because of the way emotionssometimes suddenly appear you may thinkthey are automatic and that you have nocontrol over them.

You will discover that this is not true. In fact,three important things to remember aboutemotions are:

1. The emotions you experience have a greatdeal to do with what is important to you, howyou view yourself and the world around you.



2. You can best think about an emotion asbeing a mini story within your life. It will behelpful for you to figure out the plot of thoseemotions that cause you trouble.

3. Remember an emotion is a belief plus afeeling. Change your beliefs–change yourfeelings.

So often people attempt to separate how theythink (reason) from how they feel. It isimpossible. Your feelings are not irrational.They depend a great deal on how you think.

Therefore, when a feeling becomes intenseand troublesome, it is helpful for you to thinkof it as a personal story or drama and ask,“Why do I feel this way?” or “What are mybeliefs that cause this intense emotion?

A Sporting Example

If you are a fan of Team X that has just lost aclose game to Team Y, you may feel sad anddisappointed. However, if you are sitting nextto a fan of Team Y, she may feel happy andrelieved. You both witnessed the same eventbut your emotional responses are to tallyopposite. This illustration represents the factthat your feelings are not automatically basedon an even, but more on how you viewyourself (you identify with the success ofTeam X) and how you view the world aroundyou (you put importance on your team’sathletic success).

Labeling and Judging

One of the ways we begin to make sense outof life when we are very young is to labelpeople, things, and situations and categorizeor judge them as desirable or undesirable.This is the way we develop our own valuesystem. This is a good thing. In thebeginning, it helps us manage life. As wegrow up and begin to be able to thinkabstractly, it is not necessary for us to judge or

label events or people. In fact, if we can’tlearn to separate the person from the event, wewill never develop self-acceptance and self-love.

Being “judgmental” indicates how muchpersonal pain we are in and how much shamewe are carrying.

Labeling and judging are blocks to achievinghealthy relationships. These prejudicesinterfere with the ability to see the healthy,whole and divine in another.

Some labels that I have overheard people useinclude the following:

• I can’t sing, write, or dance.

• You’re so sloppy.

• We are poor.

• You’re always causing trouble.

• He is too soft.

• She is so overpowering.

• I’m so accident prone.

• He’s shy.

• She is always like that .

Change the label to a positive choice. Then re-label that “It just is” . Each of us could supplyour own list of labels we have been given,we’ve given others, or that we give ourselvesthrough our self-talk even if it is only in jest.Labels tend to stay with us. We are allcarrying around labels from our childhood,and many of those labels still have an impacton how we live our lives.



Some labels I’ve had through out my life:

The following is a summary of a negativethinking process and the results of thislabeling:

(1) We label someone or somethingbecause of what we know or perceive fromexperiences, or from hearsay.

(2) We use this label and control ormanipulate people or events to make it true.

(3) We disregard evidence that suggeststhe label is inappropriate, dismissing it asaccidental or mistaken. Denial.

(4) The result becomes a pattern that wetrust and set up.

(5) We expect this plan to work and createa belief system to sustain it. We enlist othersto support us, too.

6) If our expectations are unfulfilled, weblame the guilty other who caused the failure,seek ways to change their thinking, oreliminate them so we can be right.

In his classic best selling book, “Think andGrow Rich”, Napoleon Hill wrote, “... ourbrains become ma gnetized with thedominating thoughts which we hold in ourminds and, by means with which no man isfamiliar, these “magnets” attract to us the

people, the circumstances of life whichharmonize with the nature of our dominatingthoughts.”

James Allen wrote in “As a Man Thinketh”,“...a man sooner or later discovers that he isthe master-gardener of his soul, the director ofhis life. He also reveals, within himself, thelaws of thought, and understands, with everincreasing accuracy, how the thought-forcesand mind elements operate in the shaping ofhis character, circumstances and destiny.” Headded, “That circumstances grow out ofthought every man knows who has for anylength of time practice self control...”.

In “The Magic of Believing”, Claude Bristolagain speaks of the mind’s power to attract.“Our fear thoughts are just as creative or justas magnetic in attracting troubles to us as theconstructive and positive thoughts inattracting positive results. So no matter whatthe character of the thought it does create afterits own kind. When this sinks into a man’sconsciousness, he gets some inkling of theawe-inspiring power which is his to use.” Helater says, “What may appear as coincidencesare not co incidences at all but simply theworking out of the pattern which you startedwith your own weaving.”

In offering some explanations of the mind’spower to attract, Bristol makes the point thatradio waves pass easily through wood, brick,steel and other so-called solid objects andsuggests that we might see thought vibrationin a similar light. He asks the question, “Ifthought waves, or whatever they are, can betuned to even higher oscillations, why can’tthey affect the molecules of solid objects?”

I quote Shakti Gawain, author of “CreativeVisualization” on the same theme. She says,“Thought and feelings have their ownmagnetic energy which attracts energy of asimilar nature... This is the principle thatwhatever you put out into the universe will bereflected back to you. What this means from a



practical standpoint is that we always attractinto our lives whatever we think about most,believe in most strongly, expect on the deepestlevels, and/or imagine most vividly.”

Richard Bach wrote, “We magnetize into ourlives whatever we hold in our thoughts.”

A thought is not a “nothing”, but a“something”. In order for you to think it, itmust exist. It must be a thing! And as it is a“thing” with an energy of its own, a thoughtmust necessarily be bound by laws andprinciples like everything else on this planet.

Perhaps seen in this light it is easier toacknowledge that the law of attraction is asreal and as powerful as gravity and electricity.

The list could go on and on. The object is toprovide some clarity for us, as to how themind creates the results we reap. The properuse of our mind will enable us to achieve ourgoals far more quickly and easily than weotherwise would.

You Are Always Right

Isn’t it a great feeling to know that you arealways right? Our thoughts are so powerfulthat whatever we believe in will happen. If aperson chooses to believe in illness, he willhave it; if a person believes in health, he willhave that.

As difficult as it may seem to admit, at somelevel we choose our life and life situations.Whatever your situation in life, there issomething there for you to learn andexperience. There is a purpose for everything.If you are unhappy with the lessons you arelearning, set your intention to learn the lessonquickly. You can learn the lesson quickly andchoose again; choose to be healthy and whole.All things are possible through faith; acting asif.

An affirmation is a statement affirming whatyou want in your life. It is a declaration of thenew belief you are creating. To be effective itneeds to be:

• Written Down: writing down anaffirmation begins making your intangiblethought more concrete. To put your wish in asentence form demands that you be clearabout what you want.• Stated in the positive: when you affirmpositive thoughts, you immediately beginmanifesting the thing you desire. When youaffirm what you don’t want; “I’m going toloose weight;” or I’m no longer going to beafraid of my partner;” you are actually puttingenergy into it and supporting it with ourmental attention. Instead of getting rid of it weare bringing it more powerfully into our life.Reframing our desires in the positive makes adifference.• It works to have your affirmation to thepoint and articulate (succinct): It is easier tofocus on. Avoid making the affirmationwordy. You are sculpting a single keythought.• Specific: when you get specific you realizejust how much power you have. Youremember that you are in charge of your owndestiny. The way you become practiced atbeing a creator is through the act of creating.It’s an evolutionary process, and yourunderstanding of yourself and of the creativeprinciples involved will evolve. There are nomistakes. What comes back to you is simplyfeedback that helps you refine yourunderstanding of what you value in life.• Magnetic: Make your affirmation asattractive as possible. The more theaffirmation evokes deep feelings in you, themore you’ll be able to put your full energybehind it. Be passionate about what you want.Emotion is energy in motion.• Stated as it a lready exists: The affirmationwill manifest in the time frame that you createin your mind. If you state you affirmation assomething that will happen in the future it will



always be in the future. “I AM” or “I HAVE”acknowledges it as a present reality. We needto see the future in our mind as if it alreadyexists. Don’t worry for the moment about notknowing how you will get from here to there.• Include You in it: Use “I”, “me”, yourname, or any other method of allowing you topersonally identify with the affirmation.• About Changes for Yourself, Not Others:The primary thing we always have controlover is our attitude and behavior. If you directyour affirmations to bringing about changes inyourself, you will be surprised by how muchthis actually begins to affect your re lationshipwith other people. The most effective andenduring way to change a situation is tochange yourself. (This doesn’t rule outspeaking to and working with the other personto resolve the problem.)• Avoid Self Sabotage: The affirmation mustappear to be within the realm of possibility foryou to accept it into your consciousness. If itstoo large a stretch from where you are now,you will subconsciously build up resistances.However, it has to be enough of a stretch toexcite you to want to create it. Ouraffirmations need to extend the boundaries ofour sense of self without going so far out thatthey seem utterly impossible.

Some people have said, “I can’t doaffirmations. They feel like a lie because whatI am saying is false.” This is where faithenters in. One definition of faith is a hope forthings unseen. That is the value of stating theaffirmations in the present tense: rather thanfaking it, we are faithing it.

The body must have a pattern to follow. By“being” what we are working for first; ourbodies will do what is needed to have what wewant. The Universe supports us when weflow in our lives from being to doing tohaving – with being happening first.

Some ideas for positive affirmations:

• “I love and approve of myself now.”

• “I see the divine in every situation now.”

• “I have an abundance of all things good now.”

• “Everything I eat turns to health and beauty now.”

• “My actions serve the highest and greatest good now.”

Affirmations are best done in a relaxed, alphastate: a quiet, meditative condition. Meditateby first finding a place in your life where youare already experiencing meditation withoutrecognizing it. That could include times whenyou are daydreaming or doing repetitive tasks,such as washing dishes. Then relax andvisualize things as you want them to be.Clarify in your mind what you want, andcreate a statement that fits appropriately likethe examples above.

Make your own list of affirmations that work for you.Look at the areas of your life that you want to havehealed, or characteristics you want to develop. Statethem in the positive, in present tense, and focus onthem daily with faith.

Two affirmations for myself:



Visualization

A visualization is a mental image or picture.Affirmations and visualization used in tandemcreate the best results. Like a movie, imagesand narration together have the maximumimpact.

Visualization is a process of creativity andimagination rather that an optical technique.In order to visualize you need to think of animage that represents the thing that you want.If you want a car, begin to think about howyou want that car to look? What make ormodel is it? What color? Convertible or hardtop? Standard or automatic?

If what you want is more intangible, such asmore confidence, you can build an imageslowly, detail by deta il. You can create animage of yourself as more confident. Howdoes your face and body look. How do youphysically move? You have just sketched amental picture.

Until you can visualize something as beingpossible, that thing can not begin to manifest.You must see the possibility clearly in order tomove toward it.

If you can think of an image or picture, youare capable of manifesting it. To have thegreatest power to manifest, your visualizationshould:

• Evoke Feeling: your mental image shouldevoke feelings of excitement so that you wantto bring it into your life immediately. Themore emotionally appealing the picture, themore enthusiasm you will have to create it.

• Use a Single Image: create a simple mentalpicture that is meaningful to you. It should belike a snapshot capturing a moment in time.

• Include you in the Image: you are the starof your life drama. See yourself enjoying

whatever it is that you have mentally created.Allow yourself to feel the satisfaction andfulfillment of your accomplishment.

• Be Literal or Metaphoric: If you areworking on something to manifest physically,you might create a literal mental picture. Ifyou are working on an attitude, you mightcreate a metaphoric mental picture.

The Energizing Process

An affirmation combined with a visualizationproduces a thought form. It actually givesshape, definition, and form to a thought. Itnow has possib ility and must be given energyto grow.

To allow this thought form to grow, the firstthing you need to do is create expectancy.You create whatever you expect to create. Ourworld is a picture of our expectations. Tomanifest your thought you need to believe itwill manifest. You must have a state ofknowing. The principal way to nourish youraffirmation and visualization is by the simpleact of repeating and seeing it on a daily basis.

As you develop a state of knowing you willstart perfo rming with the actions that willassist manifestation. You are committed to avision you believe will manifest, so you dowhat it takes to make it happen.

Relationships

We can redefine ourselves and others with ourthoughts. It is in our thoughts that weexperience everything. All our feelings comefrom our thoughts. The feelings or emotionsthat we generate are the connections to otherthoughts or people. Most of us never considerthe great power we have in our ability tothink. All of our relationships are connectedby invisible thoughts. What you think about



expands, and your thoughts originate withinyou.

Our relationships reflect how we relate toourselves. What you experience inside yougets there by thoughts. If we can look beyondthe lesson that we or others are in and see theperfect spiritual being within, then we canlove and lose the need to be controlling.

If we desire to change our thoughts and ourlives, then we begin by knowing we havealready arrived, and the miracle will happen.

Because so many people base their self-worthon the opinions of others, we can help themchange their lives when we see and treat themas perfect and complete divine beings already.

My Story Activity

This is an opportunity for you to explore yourpast. Much of this information may be helpfulto you as you explore your current quality oflife. The more open and honest you can be,the more you will gain from doing “yourstory.”

Don’t rush through this activity. Relax, closeyour eyes for a few minutes and put yourselfback into your past. Remember how you feltabout important events and people in yourlife.

Tips

• Let your mind relax

• Think about your past before writing.

• Allow yourself to feel the emotions of thattime.

• Don’t be concerned about neatness,handwriting or spelling.

• Let your thoughts and feelings flow on the

page.

• Reread each journaling section beforemoving on.

My Early Childhood

• Important people

• Important events

• Feelings I had as a child

• Losses I experienced as a child

My Preteen Years





• Feelings I had as a preteen

• Losses I experienced as a preteen

My Teenage Years



• Feelings I had as a teen

• Losses I experienced as a teenager

Important things about my home life Ihave not mentioned

My Adult Years



• Feelings I had as an adult

• Losses I experienced as an adult



• This is how my life has flowed as an adult

Here are some other things about myselfthat I have not mentioned

Give Yourself Credit

You deserve a personal congratulations foryour commitment to building a positive life-style.

The important issue is to take advantage of theopportunity that is available to you today. It isnow up to you to pursue what you want.

Stay open to the suggestions that are offered.Do not close down on recommendations thatmay have failed in the past. You are at thismoment of opportunity for the very first time.

Complete these statements with the firstthought that comes to your mind.

Today I believe…

• Today I feel…

• Today I will…

Additional Activities:

1. Write down on a piece of paper somethingyou want to create in your life. Spend tenminutes per day imagining what you would dowith what you created on a spiritual level,mental level, emotional level, and physicallevel.

2. For one day carry a small notebook andwrite down each time you say the words “Iam” or “but”. Notice your statement of being“I am” identifies who you are. Are youcreating negative or positive with your “I am”statements? Next notice how you negate everything you say when you use “but” at the endof or in the middle of your sentence. Forexample: “I would have already done that butI didn’t know how.” Or “You sure have abeautiful dress, but you look better in red.”

3. Breathe deep for at least two minutes,notice how much better you feel and how your



energy level has gone up. Make sure you havean open window in your house (especially inyour bedroom) to let negative energy escape.

4. Make your own meditation tape or positiveaffirmation tape. Listen to it every nightbefore you go to sleep. Blink them in everycell.

5. Look into the mirror and say positiveaffirmations to yourself.



Perception



Perception

The Philosopher’s Answer

The story is told of a philosopher who stood atthe gate of an ancient city greeting travelers asthey entered. One of them questioned him:“What kind of people live in your city?”

The philosopher met the question with acounter question: “What kind of people livedin the city from whence you came?”

“Oh, they were very bad people,” answeredthe traveler, “cruel, deceitful, and devil-worshipping.”

“That’s the kind of people who live in thiscity,” declared the philosopher.

Another traveler came by and asked the samequestion, to which the philosopher replied:“What kind of people lived in the city fromwhence you came?”

“Oh, they were very good people, answeredthe second traveler, kind, and truthful, andGod-loving.”

The philosopher replied, “That’s the kind ofpeople who live in this city.”

Perception is, in a nutshell, our beliefs basedon our experience. The way we perceive ourpresent-day world is based on how our worldhas been in the past, and the meanings we puton those experiences are based on thatperception.

There is no right or wrong in perception.Perception simply is! It is made up of eitherillusion or reality. Illusion is defined asanything that is temporary in nature, that wasthought up by man, and had a perceptionplaced on it. When two or more people agreeon this illusion, it then becomes their reality.

Perception can make whatever p icture themind desires. This is especially important toremember in the way we perceive others.

Whenever we judge anyone negatively, we arereally judging those aspects in ourselves. It isimpossible to see something in someone elseunless we perceive it in ourselves on somelevel of experience. “What we resist persists.”

Instruction in perception will help us realizethere is always another way to look at anysituation. With improved perception we canavoid judging others. “The prize of experienceis perspective, everything else is information.”

Perception is a mir ror not a fact. What we lookon is our state of mind, reflected outward.

We are affected only by our thoughts andperceptions.”

Five Blind Men

There were five blind men who were asked togive their best judgment of an elephant, basedupon the perception of their experience. One,after feeling the elephant’s tail, declared thatcertainly an elephant was like a rope.

The second protested, having touched thetrunk and concluding the elephant wasundoubtedly like a snake.

The third man bumped up against theelephant’s tusk and stated conclusively thatthis animal was like a spear.

The elephant flapped his ears and the fourthwas assured that the elephant was like a fan.

The fifth man wrapped his arms around theelephant’s leg and tried to lift it. He was fullyconvinced that this was like a tree.

When circumstances seem to move against us,



it is because we are looking at events throughour natural eyes, rather than the eyes of faith.We are unable to distinguish between advanceand retreat. Some of our greatest advances wehave judged as failures, and some of ourdeepest retreats we have evaluated as success.The insignificance of the present moment,with its seeming failures, contains within it theseeds of triumph. What seems to be, mayconflict with what is. Sickness or suffering isusually a problem of guilt in the mind,changing our perception.

There are as many perceptions of what truth isas there are people on the planet. Wars havebeen fought because we forgot our “truth”wasn’t the only truth. Each of the blind menin the story knew he was right, and quite amelee could have broken out had each mandecided to battle for his version of what wasright. The next time you encounter a similarsituation, rather than fight, ask yourself if youwould rather be right or happy.

(1) To determine if beliefs you hold are factor perception:

List six things you believe about yourself thatare truth to you.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

List six things you believe about relationshipsin your life.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

List six things you believe to be true aboutmoney.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.



List six things you believe about your life’swork.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

List six things you believe about health andhealing.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

List six things you believe about your future.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

(2) After each belief , write whether it wasyour truth or if someone else has suggestedit to you as their truth.

We are the creators of our worlds. We get tochoose the foundation we build our life upon.Universal truth is self evident. If you wonderif what you perceive is truth–go inside and askyourself, “Does this acknowledge and supportthe magnificent being that I am?”

Faith is the exercise of the “Act as if”principle. In other words, we become what weact. Acting is a great profession and we payhighly those who become really adept at it forour entertainment. Consider for a moment thatwe are all actors on our perceptual stage. Weact out our perception of who we think we areconstantly. When we perceive ourselves asinadequate, foolish, or unworthy, we tend to“act as if” and model those qualities,becoming more inadequate, foolish, andunworthy. Since we are always completelyfaithful to our performance, we become whatwe act, thereby fulfilling our perception ofourselves. What’s more, we even have thefaith to create scripting for other actors to playwith us. That is, we perceive how others willact for us, too. We are literally creating ourown world around us with our perception andfaith. It is true that whatever the mind can



conceive and believe, it will achieve. Put thatpowerful faith machine to work now toconsciously create what you choose.

Projection Makes Perception

What we have inside is what we project.Consider looking at your perceptual world as amirror of what’s going on inside you. Fearwill cause us to see the world as threateningand hostile, with anger and attack as itsexpressions. Joy within will cause us to see theworld as safe, beautiful and helpful to us, withexcitement, wonder, and gratitude as itsexpression.

To affect a change, choose to see only good inyourself, others, and the world. It may takesome practice. Begin today to love.

Never allow fear, misunderstanding or a lackof forgiveness to block your way. The nexttime you feel angry with someone, stop for amoment, retreat to a quiet place, and see if youare also feeling some guilt or anger atyourself. If so, choose to forgive yourself andlet the guilt go.

Learn from it and send it along its way withgratitude for its service to you. See then if youstill feel angry. Letting go of guilt will freeyou to see and enjoy truth rather than give youlicense to hurt yourself or others.

We often fight life because we fail to perceiveour own best interests. It is rare that we canknow how any part icular experience will fitinto the whole plan for good in our lives. Andoften there is a difference between what wethink is good for us and what really is good forus.

We come to realize that we only need to let goof our attachment to people or things to makelife change. We can physically removeourselves from people and things, yet if wekeep mental ties to them, we will attract asimilar lesson somewhere else. We might

consider keeping the attachments only untilwe’ve gotten the learning and then let themgo.

So long as we seek anything, outsideourselves, we will never have complete peace.Life is constantly presenting to you a mirror ofwhat you are feeling and experiencing withinyourself. All our answers, therefore, mustcome from within ourselves. Fulfillmentcomes only through the real self within.

Negative circumstances will fail to survivewhen you refuse to sustain them with youremotional energy. Learn from the mirror oflife, including people and things, reclaim yourown light from within, and awaken to yourown powerful self within.

Perception and Criticism

We are on our life’s journey. It is unnecessaryto reuse and regenerate old lessons or thoughtsand perceptions. We can create new tools thatserve us better.

If we call ourselves negative things, our mindand body will honor that. It will send thesignal out through our bodies to create whatwe have thought and said. If we want positiveto expand in our lives, we must speak it, thinkit, and act it.

We can choose to stay focused on what we arefor, or what we are against. It is impossible toteach by criticism because criticism focuses onwhat is not or areas that are lacking. Only bylove, firmness, acceptance, and seeing thegood in others can we see the good inourselves.

Consider for a moment that we are alreadyperfect, just as we were created. We must donothing more to become so. What we require,however, is to become aware of ourperfection.

This is a matter of a perception change, or, in



other words, a paradigm shift to viewingthings in a different way than perhaps we haveever done before.

It’s fun to practice and see our perfection.Each time we overcome, release and forgive,we become stronger and improve our ability toimagine ourselves as perfect and joyful. It isour birthr ight as humans to be joyful.

If we wish to grow and heal, it means selftransformation will happen on all four levels:physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.Choosing to rid ourselves of our obsoleteconditioning is the first step.

Desire is the first and most importantingredient to healing. People who really wantgrowth and freedom from pain come into aRET session eager to let the past go. Theymake their growth and healing a priority.What is put into this effort comes backcompounded.

Once we have experienced growth we willdiscover that we are unwilling and unable togo back. We will continue the process ofbroadening perceptions, and eventuallyperceive beyond our normal sensoryparameters.

The ability to filter input from the sensesthrough past experience is perhaps the mostmarvelous function built into the mind.

When we receive input from our senses, ourmind compares the present image with asimilar incident from our perceptual pastrather than recreate the entire image fromscratch. It merely compares and notes thedifferences. Differences are much easier andfaster to process than complete recreations.

When you walk into a room, you receivesensory input from your eyes that take ineverything you see in the room. If the imageof the room as you see it appears similarenough to rooms you’ve seen in pastexperience, you feel all is right or normal. Ifone of the chairs has a red rubber ball on it,

however, you would notice the ball rightaway.

Your mind might perceive that the ball is outof place or inconsistent because it fails tocompare with your past experience withchairs. If a mouse were to run across the floor,you would notice that right away, too, becauseit is in motion while everything else is still.

The images your mind uses for comparisonare perceptions stored in memory. When thoseimages are traumatic memories, they havepriority over all others because thosememories are associated with survival. Theyare highly distorted by pain, so the filtering(perceptions) may become distorted, too.

We can greatly facilitate our own growth byavoiding attachments to our flawedperceptions and letting go of addictivebehaviors based upon those perceptions.

By quieting the mind we can emancipateourselves from our habits. People oftenperceive this to be difficult or impossible. Ourexperience has been that it is very difficult toremain in our painful habits once we ridourselves of our conditioning becausepositive, whole, unconditional love is ournatural, spiritual state.



Additional Activities

(1) Write your own story in the positive.If needed create a new family orpeople to create positive memories.Create what you want, observe howwonderful this makes you feel.

(2) Create your own Epitaph, theobjective of this is to remind you whata profound experience life is. Write anhonest Epitaph in tribute to your lifethus far.



Seven Stages from

Projection to Integration

1. We search for and find the perfect personto hold our projection. For example, if wefail to cla im our leadership or beauty, we mayidolize someone with strong leadership skillsor idolize someone who we perceive asbeautiful. If we have difficulty expressing ouranger, we will often experience difficulty withsomeone who does express anger. In this stagewe never see people for who they are; we seeonly what we want them to be for us.

2. The projection begins to slip. We begin tosee that our idol may be something other thanwhat we have projected; however, we readjustthe projection with rationalization and excusesbecause we don’t want to believe theprojection is part of our own nature. Forexample, the effective leader may haveunskillfully handled a situation, yet werationalize that everyone has a hard day or thatthe people involved actually deserved thetreatment. By doing this, the projection thathad begun to slip is put quickly back intoplace.

3. The projection totally falls off. At thispoint no rationalization can be made. We areforced to see who the person is beyond whatwe projected. We become disappointed, angry,blaming, and judgmental. Now we have thechoice to either move to stage four, or to pickup the projection and look for another personto carry it for us rather than bring it home.Often we spend years just doing stages one,two, and three. We find different people ohold the same projection of those parts ofourselves that we are unwilling to bring homeand claim. For example, if we find our ownanger difficult to accept, we may often put itoutside of ourselves, and judge or avoid it

when we see it expressed in another person.

4. Recognition. We realize that it was aprojection, and we see that it was our ownmaterial. It is the stage of grief: grief for thelost part of ourselves that has been away for solong; and grief from the recognition that wedidn’t see the other person for who he or shewas, and now recognize the unintentionalharm that we may have done in stage three.

5. Compassion for and integration of theprojection. In this stage we have compassionfor ourselves and others with similar issues.We model the quality that we once projectedrather than continue to place the projectionoutside of ourselves. We move into a state ofresponsibility and begin to exercise powerover the qualities and characteristics we hadonce projected.

6. Gratitude for the integration. We begin torecognize in this stage that all we perceive inothers is only what we project from within us.We then feel gratitude for the return of ourown power; power to write our own script;power to change our script ourselves; thepower of our own innate creativity. We acceptand feel gratitude for the mirror that life is tous.

7. Celebration of oneness. In this stage wetake gratitude one step further and actuallycelebrate the oneness of integration we havewith all our projection. We recognize theprojections for the illusions they are andcelebrate the beauty of our own creations. Weexalt all life because it is recognized now asthe mirror of the ultimate expression of godlylove with is ourselves.



Choice

and

Accountability



Choice and Accountability

In learning to understand the principle ofchoice and accountability, it is important toremember that this principle is universal. Onevery level of learning we have the ability tochoose. Sometimes we are unaware that wecan choose or that we have alternativesavailable to us. Sometimes we get so involvedin the results of our choices that we loseawareness of the power we have to chooseagain and provide a new result. Until werecognize our responsib ility for our choicesand the results they provide, we limit ourpower to change the things in our lives that wedesire to change. In other words, we limitourselves with our limiting choices andlimited awareness.

Let’s talk about responsibility as it relates tochoice. To be responsible is, literally, to be“able to respond” to our choice. Responsibilityis occasionally perceived as blame or guilt.Consider for a moment how unable to respondyou become when filled with guilt or blame.Responsibility has been defined by some tomean that you follow a course of action thatthey approve of. True responsibility is to actappropriately for you in consequence of yourchoice.

Accountability is the ability to balance thebooks. It is the ability to balance the choicewith its consequence. In other words, we makethe choice and the universe balances the booksby providing us with a consequence or result.Nature is truly our best friend, keeping usconstantly abreast of our choices by providingus a sensory extravaganza expressing even ourdeepest thoughts. Life is a constant and eternalround of thought, image, action, result. Wechoose and the un iverse provides u sexperience. For example, if you choose to feelsad, the universe will account for that choiceby providing you with a situation in which youmay feel sad. By choosing to feel joyous, the

universe will account to you with situationsthat provide you with that feeling. What a gift!

It is the way of the natural world to beobedient to our thoughts and feelings. Thismay provide us some insight into why co-dependency can be so deb ilitating torelationships. When we attempt to save peoplefrom the natural consequences of their actions,we seek to replace the universe and its infinitewisdom with our limited understanding. Weseek to take away someone’s accountability,and therefore, the arena for their learning andgrowth. This will result in a cycle of creationand reaction for us that repeats itself over andover again, until the lesson is learned and thecycle is completed.

Our choice is the cause, the thought, thebeginning of the cycle, the alpha.Accountability is the universe’s response toour cycle, the have, the result, the omega. Thecycle returns again to another choice, theuniverse is accountable to provide us yetanother result.

This is the eternal balance of li fe, the ancientlaw of the Two Ways.

The Formation of Patterns

To really be at choice we must be as awake aswe can be as to how we create what we do inour lives. We are really pretty amazing. Let’stake a look at our minds. When we walkacross the street, do we have to concentrate oneach step? Do we have to think about how tochew gum? Do we have to work at digestingpizza? Do we have to concentrate to keepbreathing? No.

We do these things with our subconsciousmind. Our subconscious mind is responsiblefor a large portion of the results we get in life.



When we find history repeating itse lf in ourlives, it is our subconscious mind that isresponsible. Many of us have recurringlimiting patterns that keep on cropping up.

Do you know someone who is always late?You set the time to meet at 7:00 am and sureenough they’d arrive at 7:15 am. There arealways many reasons; “I could only find oneshoe;” “The goldfish was sick,” or “I couldn’tfind my keys.”

This person thought that the world wassabotaging him. He was not trying to be lateconsciously, but on his subconscious he had aprogram that said, “You are always runningbehind” and that program was running his life.

There are many types of patterns we run:

Drama Patterns: Life is a long drama. Somecrisis is always happening. Whenever theirlife threatens to go smoothly, a littlesubconscious voice says, “Hey, this can’t beright!” and very soon another drama emerges.The job is lost, have to have another operation,get arrested...and everything returns to normal.

Accident Patterns: Some people spend lifefalling off ladders, off bicycles, out of trees,having car accidents.

Sickness Patterns: Some people get sicktwice a year. Some people get sick every timea big opportunity comes along. Some peopleget sick every Monday morning.

Mess Patterns: These peop le don’tconsciously try to do it but everything’s amess and if you straighten it within twentyminutes, it will be a mess again.

Victim Pattern: “People are nasty; “life ishorrible; “Why is the world do ing this to me?”Pattern. This one is really no fun!

Lack Pattern: There’s only enough to et by.It doesn’t matter how much money comes in,it always ends up gone.

Then there’s all those patterns around loss,

abandonment, rejection, not good enough andso on and so on.

EXERCISES

Identify 3 limiting patterns you have noticedin your life:

1.

2.

3.

What are the core beliefs that keep creatingthese patterns?

What are some of the things you can do tocounteract the patterns results?



We begin to form patterns right from birth.This is why they are persistent and tenacious.For example, let’s look at eating patterns.When we were babies, we cried for manydifferent reasons; we were thirsty, hot, cold,lonely, frustrated, wanting a cuddle, exercisingour lungs, wet, wanting a toy, wantingattention and so on. When we did cry, onmany, many occasions, we were fed. Thus theassociation was formed that the solution toany of the above was to put something in ourmouths. So if you smoke, drink or overeat,you don’t need to look very hard to see wheresome of your programing comes from.

For similar reasons, many of our other currentcharacteristics result from early childhoodexperiences. In early years we are open-minded and empty–headed: we absorbinformation like a sponge. Since our firstrelationships are with our parents, theirinfluence on our later lives and our laterrelationships is huge. Partly consciously andmainly subconsciously, we create patterns inour lives which reflect the experience we hadwith our parents. For example, we––

• Establish relationships with people whoresemble our parents. We may find ourselvesworking for bosses or establishing friendshipswith people who resemble our mother orfather.

• We establish relationships with other peoplethat mirror our parents’ relationships withothers. If our parents were loving and gentle,so will we tend to be. If they spent timeabusing people, we pick up that initially.

• We attract partners who resemble ourmother or father. This we may do, not once ortwice, but repeatedly. This can be because weform a subconscious picture from a young agethat says, for example, “real men are tall and

dark and silent” (like my Dad) or “a womanshould be short and well mannered,” (like mymother). Totally unaware of this on theconscious level, we may then go looking forthe partner to fit the picture.

Also, the quality of our re lationships with ourparents creates its pattern. If, as children,we’d experienced guilt or disapproval then wewill continue to attract and associate withpeople who treat us as “bad” people.Similarly, if we experienced love and approvalas children, then, as adults, we will gravitatetoward people who treat us with respect. Inshort, we attract what we expect and the worldtreats us as we believe we deserve to betreated.

We are never stuck with patterns. Oldnegative patterns may be tenacious but theyare not invincible. Always think positivelyabout yourself and your condition. Mentaldiscipline in this area may not be easy but therewards are great. Always speak well ofyourself and consistently visualize your lifeworking as you want it. You will be creatingnew happiness patterns.

Listen to motivational cassettes and readbooks on success. Use affirmations,subliminal tape programs and spend time withpeople from whom you can learn. You canrewrite your patterns to become what youchoose.

In addition, use the Rapid Eye Technology tosystematically release the things from our lifethat hold you down, and consolidate thepatterns that can push you ahead.

How to Find Peace

One of the fears that some people have aboutchoice is that they will make a wrong choice.Once a choice is made, consequences beginand we believe we are stuck with them. Thereare always results that come from making a



choice. If we dislike the end result of a choice,we can simply forgive ourselves and chooseagain, thus providing a new result.

Awareness of our choices can assist us infocusing on what we want in our lives.Becoming aware of what we really want willcreate a space for more choices that arecompatible with our focus. This is why it isvital to use our choice, our free will, to createan enlightened purpose for our lives. “No oneelse but me, can make myself or the worldhonest.”

Choose light and enlightenment; it is joybeyond your wildest dreams. Choose to feelloved, capable, and abundant. Start today with,“I am what I believe I am.” It is unnecessaryto search for truth because we already have itwithin us. It is only necessary to becomeaware of the false beliefs. “When I experiencestruggle in the world, I have deniedresponsibility for my own creation.”

Sometimes removing the false means gettingoutside help, like Rapid Eye Technologyprocessing. One may need spiritual ortechnical training. Others may go through self-initiated tests and challenge the weakest partsof their personality. We create from choice, onsome level, our own challenges to assist us inmoving to our next level of development.Consider choosing now with integrity,honesty, and love. Tell the truth to yourself, asyou are aware of it, as fast as you can.

Choosing and Deciding

The word decide comes from the Latin root“to cut off, to separate, to pass judgment.”According to Webster’s Dictionary, it meansto bring to an end. The word defend means,“to fend or ward off, to forbid or prohibit, toresist, to try to justify.”

It is an interesting human characteristic thatwe tend to first decide and then defend. We

pass judgment, then defend our position withjustification. As we decide, we take ourselvestoward an end. We defend, or justify ourposition, and so lidify ourselves in thedecision. We draft an army of supporters toassist us. We can recognize those times whenwe have decided by noticing how necessarywe find it to defend ourselves or build an armyof supporters. We only need to defendourselves against what we perceive asdangerous to us, therefore, we may say that weapproach defense from the point of fear: Wedefend because we feel afraid.

What would happen if we were to look at ourcondition from a posit ion free of fear? Wouldwe then feel the need to defend? Or would wefeel the desire merely to observe and grow?Most of us spend our time reacting to anddefending against perceived fears. We decide,then defend; we pass judgment, then we react.We then become the victim of our owndecision and defense, giving away our powerto our decision and defending our loss withjustification.

This brings us to the concept of choice andcommitment. To choose connotes that thereare options that one can select from. Withchoice, there is power. With decision there isdefense. To commit means, “to entrust into thecare of another, to do, to give in trust.” Itwould appear from these definitions, thatcommitment deals with trust, whereas defensedeals with fear. When we choose, we have theoption to choose again. When we decide, wesolidify ourselves into one option to theexclusion of all others.

To decide and defend is to solidify, separate,and die:

Decide, v.i.;

• 1. to pass judgment.

• 2. to make up one’s mind; to form a definiteopinion; to come to a conclusion.



de-, [L. a prefix signifying separation,cessation, intensification, or contraction; also,from Fr. d+, from L. de or OFr. des-, from L.dis- , dis-.] a prefix meaning: (a) away from,off, as in depilate, detrain; (b) down, as indepress, decline; (c) wholly, entirely, as indefunct; (d) undo, reverse the action of, as indefrost.

-cide, [from Fr. or L.; Fr. -cide; L. -cida, fromcµdere, to cut down, strike mortally, kill.] asuffix meaning killer or killing, as inhomicide.

Choose, v.t.; chose, pt.; chosen, pp.; choosing,ppr. [ME cheosen, chesen; AS. ceosan, tochoose.]

• 1. to pick out by preference from allavailable; to select; as, to choose a wife.

• 2. to prefer; decide; think proper (with aninfinitive object.)

• 3. to desire; want. [Colloq.]

Webster’s New Twentieth Century DictionaryUnabridged (second edition), Collins World,1978.

To choose and commit is to select with power,and trust life to accomplish it. With RET onehas the opportunity to release the frozenthought forms created through decision anddefense. This allows, in the present moment, anew point of power through choice andcommitment into accountability. “Whateverwe choose, we give attention to. Attention likegravity, holds things in place by drawing it toits source. The character of what is attractedis of no concern to either.”

Looking at the words choose and decide in abiblical sense, we find it interesting that theword decide fails to appear in the Bible, whilethe word decision appears only once (Joel3:14,15 [speaking of the valley of decisionwhere “the sun and the moon shall be

darkened, and the stars shall withdraw theirshining”]).

The word choose appears over 50 times. (SeeDeuteronomy 12:10 - 12).

Notice that with choice there is rejoicing,while with decision there is depression. It isthe difference between life and death, literally.While that which you choose can be chosenagain because there are other options.Consider how you choose. Do you choosefrom available alternatives through preferenceleaving yourself open to new alternatives, ordo you decide upon the only way because it’s“right”? Consider possibilities.

If we’re unhappy, it’s because life is not as wewant it. Life is not matching our expectationsof how it “ought” to be and so we’re unhappy.

So we say, “I’ll be happy when...” Well, life isNOT perfect. Life is about being exhilarated,frustrated, sometimes a chieving andsometimes missing out. So long as we say“I’ll be happy when...”, we’re deludingourselves.

Happiness is a choice. Many people live lifeas if someday they’ll arrive at “happiness” likeone arrives at a bus stop. They figure thatsomeday everything will fall into place, theywill finally be happy.

Being happ y is not always easy. It can be oneof the greatest challenges that we face and cansometimes take all the determination,persistence and self-discipline that we canmuster. Maturity means taking responsibilityfor our own happiness and choosing toconcentrate on what we have got rather thanon what we haven’t.

How often, though, do we do the opposite?How often do we ignore the compliments thatare paid to us yet dwell on unkind words forweeks afterwards? If you allow a badexperience or nasty remark to occupy yourmind, you will suffer the consequences.Remember, you are in control of your own



mind.

Most people remember compliments for a fewminutes and insults for years. They becomegarbage collectors, carrying around trash thatwas thrown at them twenty years ago. Cindymay be heard to say, “I still remember how hesaid that I was fat and stupid back in 1963!”Any compliments Cindy received evenyesterday will probably have been forgottenbut she is still carting around the 1963 trash.

CHALLENGES

Whenever we doubt our own ability toachieve, it is worthwhile pondering theobstacles hat others have overcome. To namea few, Demosthenes, the outstanding Greekorator suffered from such a serious speechimpediment that he could scarcely speak. Hepracticed talking with a mouth full of pebbles,figuring that when he had mastered that hewould be able to speak in public. He becameone of the great orators of all time.

Napoleon overcame his considerablehandicap, his tiny stature, to lead hisconquering armies across Europe.

Helen Keller refused to allow her blindness and herdeafness to prevent her from spending her life helpingthose less fortunate than herself.

Abraham Lincoln failed in business aged 22,lost a legislative race at 23, again failed inbusiness at 25, had his sweetheart die when hewas 26, had a nervous breakdown at 27, lostcongressional races aged 34, 37, and 39, lost asenatorial race aged 46, failed in his efforts tobecome vice president of the USA aged 47and lost a further senatorial contest at 49.

At fifty two years of age, he was electedpresident of the USA and is now rememberedas one of the great leaders in world history.

Anwar Sadat started his life as a peasant boy.

Menachim Begin was a street urchin in aPolish ghetto.

Winston Churchill was a poor student with aspeech impediment. Not only did he win aNobel prize, but he became one of he mostinspiring speakers of recent times.

Thomas Edison was kicked out of school.

Julio Iglesias was kicked out of his highschool choir. That didn’t stop him frombecoming the biggest selling recording artistin the history of the world.

The list goes on and on. The moral mustsurely be, “IT IS NOT WHERE YOU STARTTHAT COUNTS, BUT WHERE YOUCHOOSE TO FINISH.” Obstacles are ablessing if we choose to see them that way anduse them as incentive to do better, and better.

“Things do not change, we change.” - HenryDavid Thoreau


(1) Can be done with or without your RET technician.

A. Identify a situation you would like tochange.

B. Identify the underlying belief that createdthe situation



C. What is your evidence that your belief istrue?

D. How would others view your belief orsituation?

E. What proof do they have that your belief istruth?

(2) To re-balance an issue, identify an issue,imagine you could take it out of your head andput it in your hand. In the other hand imaginewhat you’d rather have, the opposite. Nowimagine that you are re-labeling both energies“ it just is” and let the energy go back andforth between the hands like you were doing aslinky. Energy is energy until you put aperception on it and make a new choice.

(3) Visualization: “Shut your eyes andimagine a column of light in front of you,move the light inside your body feeling thelight flowing up and down your spine.”

“Now imagine the light expanding until it fillsyour whole body.”

“Feel the light come out of every pore of yourbody and spread to the space you occupy, nowimagine the light spreading and filling up thewhole town.”

“Let the light r ipple out drawing other light toit of the same frequency until it fills the wholestate and spreads until the entire planet isfilled with light.”

‘Now spread this light through the wholeuniverse and universes beyond. Becauseeverything must return to its source feel thelight return to you in great abundance.”

“Make your light extend in all directions.Include everyone and everything.”

“Now with intention, imagine that everywhereyou go you are walking in this light. This loveenergy goes before you to prepare the way.”

“Open your eyes, put fingers and thumbs ofboth hands together and push firmly for 30seconds to ground yourself.”

To bring this into this dimension:

Draw an imaginary circle on the floor andbuild a hologram of “I am” positive statementsabout what you want for you. When you haveall of your “I am” statements in the circle withpassion and excitement, physically move intothe circle and pull the circle up around you.Breathe it in and put it out in the universe tobegin to create for you.



How To Love Yourself

(1) STOP ALL CRITICISM. Criticismnever changes a thing. Refuse tocritic ize yourself. Accept yourselfexactly as you are. Everybodychanges. When you criticize yourself,your changes are negative. When youapprove of yourself, your changes arepositive.

(2) SWITCH SCARING YOURSELF TO

LOVING YOURSELF. Stop terror izingyourself with your thoughts. It’s adreadful way to live. Find a mentalimage that gives you pleasure andimmediately switch your scary thoughtto a pleasant thought.

(3) BE GENTLE AND KIND ANDPATIENT. Be gentle with yourself.Be kind to yourself. Be patient withyourself as your learn the new ways ofthinking. Treat yourself as you wouldsomeone you really loved.

(4) BE KIND TO YOUR MIND. Selfhatred is only hating your ownthoughts. Don’t hate yourself forhaving the thoughts. Gently changeyour thoughts.

(5) PRAISE YOURSELF . Critic ismbreaks down the inner spirit. Praisebuilds it up. Praise yourself as much asyou can. Tell yourself how well youare doing with even little things.

(6) SUPPORT YOURSELF. Find ways tosupport yourself. Reach out to friendsand allow them to help you. It is beingstrong to ask for help when you needit.

(7) B E L O V I N G T O Y O U RNEGATIVES. Acknowledge that you

created them to fulfill a need. Nowyou are finding new, positive ways tofulfill those needs. So lovingly releasethe old negative patterns.

(8) TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY.Learn about nutrition. What kind offuel does your body need to haveoptimum energy and vitality. Learnabout exercise. What kind of exercisecan you enjoy? Cherish and revere thetemple you live in.

(9) MIRROR WORK. Look into youreyes often. Express this growing senseof love you have for yourself. Forgiveyourself looking into the mirror. Talkto your parents looking into the mirror.Forgive them too. At least once a daysay: “I love you, I really love you!”

(10) LOVE YOURSELF... Do it Now.Don’t wait until you get well, or losethe weight, or get the new job, or thenew relationship. Begin now - and dothe best you can.

LOUISE L. HAY EDUCATIONAL INS TIT UTE , creating a w orld

where it’s safe for us to love each other. (C) 1987, 1988 Louise L.

Hay



Cause

and

Effect



Cause and Effect

“Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask anyfailure!” –Earl Wilson

Newton discovered the law of cause andeffect: in other words that for every actionthere is an equal and opposite reaction. Weonly get back if we put out. If we planttomatoes, we don’t reap thistles. It isimportant to remind ourselves that thisprinciple affects everything we do and everyexperience we have.

We can’t beat the law. Our physical health,our mental health, our business success andour personal relationships are each governedby the same equation which requires us to“pay up front”. The fascinating thing about thelaw is that we never know quite when we willbe rewarded; when we will receive thedividends on our time and effort. But therewards always come and the uncertainty oftheir time of arrival only serves to make lifemore exciting.

In addition, what we have in our lie at themoment is a result of the sowing we have beendoing until now. If we currently enjoy warmfriendships and loving relationships, it isbecause we have prepared the ground andplanted the seed. If our business is currentlyflowering, it is because we’ve expended theeffort to get the results.

If we talk about others, we’ll be talked about.If we speak well of others, they will speakwell of us. If we rip people off then we will beripped off. If we rejoice in the success ofothers, we will be more likely to enjoy successourselves. If we tell lies, we will be told lies. Ifwe criticize, we will be criticized. If we love,we will in turn receive love.

Historically, we can see the Golden Rule has

been expressed in many different ways and theprinciple is constant– “you will be treated byothers as you treated them. You will get backwhat you put in.”

On an Egyptian tomb dating back to 1600B.C., are written the “words”: “He sought forothers the good he desired for himself.”

Confucius said, “What you would not wantdone to yourself, do not do to others.”

Aristo tle said. “We should behave to the worldas we wish the world to behave towards us.”

In the bible we read, “Do unto others as youwould have others do unto you.”

These principles apply to our relationships andthey apply equally to what we reap in theother dimensions of life. Some will stand byobserving those who are ou tstanding andremark, “I wish I had his talent!” or “I wish Ihad her luck”, and they never see the monthsand years of effort that molded that person’ssuccess. How often do we read about the“overnight success” in show business and findthat this new superstar has actually beenslogging away for fifteen years!

The wonderful thing about nature is that itgives us back much more than we put out.When you plant a pumpkin seed, you don’tjust get back one seed! Otherwise, whybother? Nature is very generous. Plant a fewseeds and you may end up with a truckload ofpumpkins. Again, this principle works witheverything we do, but first we need to get outin he fields and dig!

“It costs so much to be a full human beingthat there are very few who have the love andcourage to pay the price. One has to abandonaltogether the search for security and reachout to the risk of living with both arms. One



has to embrace life like a lover”.

––Morris West

The principle of cause and effect is known bymany cultures and by many names. It is calledKarma, “what goes around comes around,”The Law of the Harvest, or “As a man soweth,so shall he reap.” The concept is the same,regardless of the name. It is Cause and Effect.“What you send out - comes back to youmultiplied.” “As you give - so shall youreceive.”

Cycle of Thought

Consider the cycle of creation each thoughtgoes through as it passes through the realms ofmental, emotional, and physical development.

The spirit body contains the power that createsour existence and all things we perceive in it.It’s a little like electricity in that we fail toperceive it until we notice its effects. We callthese perceptual awarenesses “miracles”because we fail to detect how normal they are.The spirit body is the source of all power andcreative force or the life force we experiencein this dimension.

Our mental body is the directive body. The jobof the mental facility is to make choices. It isthe home of our ego and as such has thecapability to view itself as the source ofpower, the creative force. Unlike the spiritbody that enjoys all experiences, the mentalbody is concerned with our level of physicaland emotional safety. The mental body thinksits job is to protect us and defend us frompotential attack. Nevertheless, the truefunction of the mental body is to directenergy.

The emotional body performs the necessarywork of focusing our directed energy into thephysical dimension. How we feel about ourchoice will largely determine the form inwhich it will manifest. Many of us find our

lives confused and jumbled because we areunable to focus our emotions due to our pasttraumas and limiting beliefs. One way wehave found to refresh our emotional body andregain its powerful focusing effects is withRET.

Our physical body is, in a word, obedient. Theentire physical dimension is designed to beobedient to our desires. When the body dies,when it is vacated by the spiritual, mental, andemotional bodies, we become starkly aware ofthe weakness of the physical body.

Our spirit provides the power; our mentalbody directs that energy; our emotional bodyfocuses our energy into this dimension and aneffect is then produced. This is the trail ofcause and effect. We are the cause as well asthe effect. We literally are Alpha and Omega,the beginning and the end, the first and thelast.

We are infinitely powerful in the spiritualstate. When our mental and emotional bodiescome into alignment through awareness wefind profound creation and peace. We willbring great power into our lives just bybecoming aware that our other bodies exist.Our awareness of options from which tochoose seems to increase. Since growth is ournatural state, anything we choose toexperience in our mental and emotional bodieswill appear abundantly in the physical.

The energy we direct and feel, will by designcome back to us multiplied. This is the actionof choice and accountability. It is the processof our universe to provide us with ampleopportunity to awaken to who we really are:the creator and the created. Creations tend toreturn to their creator multiplied. Considerwhat this may mean to you.

“Experience is not what happens to a man; itis what a man does with what happens tohim.” - Aldous Huxley

At first it may seem difficult to live in



awareness of this principle. Consider thatdifficulty is a perception, a choice of thinking,and can be changed. When you change yourperception you enjoy putting this principle towork, perhaps even a more enlightened,peaceful manner. Understanding you are thecreator of your own universe can haveprofound consequences in your relationshipsand in your own personal growth;

“I am responsible for what I see, I choosethe feelings I experience, and I decide uponthe goal I would achieve. Everything thatseems to happen to me I ask for and receiveas I have asked.” - Course in Miracles

Cycles of Creation

Let’s look at some cycles of creation (cause &effect): “When events repeat themselves, lookfor the lesson.” Consider Cause and Effectlike a cycle of creation. We initiate a thoughtin the mental body which directs the infiniteenergy source, the spiritual body. Early on weput some sort of image to that thought so itbecomes a thought-form. We may then putspeech to that thought-form aloud orinternally. “When I am quick to correct others,I have failed to correct myself.”

“A lie is an attempt to experience somethingother than what you are creating,” - Coursein Miracles

Because speech arrives so early in our cycle ofcreation, it can be used to quickly identify ourhidden, underlying intent that may conflictwith our conscious desires. Consider what auseful role our self-talk plays in our creativeflow. Developing an ear for self-defeatinglanguage can be a useful skill.

Consider the following words or phrases goout and create for you, ask yourself wheneveryou make a statement (Do I really want tocreate this?), if not then replace it with apositive “I AM” statement.

(1) “I would like to welcome you here,” (“ butI’d rather not”)

(2) “I’ll try to...” (giving myself an instantexcuse for failure)

(3) “I am [negative feeling, like sick, or angry,or sad]...” (I AM is your highest statementabout yourself. Consider how this statementcould limit you.)

(4) “I don’t get angry anymore” (representsstatements of negation where the focus of thestatement is on the negative behavior. Becauseyou are giving energy to the negativebehavior, it will grow [Principle ofAbundance])

(5) “... but .. .” (negates or invalidates all thathas been said before the word)

You may ask, “ How can we talk?” What canwe say that would be more in line with whatwe really mean? Consider the followinginstead:

(1) “Welcome!” (with feeling - withoutqualifiers)

(2) “I will do it!” (with conviction andcommitment)

(3) “I feel [negative feeling like sick, angry,or afraid].” (A description of feelings ratherthan a description of selfhood)

(4) “I express peace in all my doings,” (astatement of fact yet to be experienced [faith])

(5) “... and ...” (or rephrase to omit the wordbut)

Simply cleaning up your language may putyou on the path to cleaning up your life.Consider how powerful the spoken word isand how easily it can be changed.

Continuing our journey around the cycle ofcreation we next experience some action (likespeech). This action is natural because itfollows the flow of our thought. We arealways doing and acting upon some intent.



The next stage of the cycle of creation willassist us in discovering our own hidden(subconscious) intentions and the patternswe’ve developed around them.

The last stage of the cycle of creation is theresult. By becoming aware of the results ofour cycles of creation in relation to thethoughts that spawned them we can awaken toour intentions. A simple exercise may assistyou in this: Take the issue out of your headand place it in one of your hands. Then askyourself what would I rather have. Move yourhands up and down as if you had a slinky. Asthe two energies feel balanced bring yourhands together and put the energy back intoyour heart.

To complete the cycle, every thought mustcome home to the one who originated it. Ittends to return multiplied by the image, action,and results of the cycle of creation. It alsoaccumulates the energies of others of similarthought, like iron filings drawn to a magnet. Inthis way we can honor our true intentions andrelease the patterns that have bound us.

If we become oblivious to the return of ourthought in a physical form, we will give itenergy into another cycle of creation. Thisnew cycle will be energized with a greaterimage, stronger action, and larger results sothat when it returns to us we might notice itthis time. This cycle continues until we “getit”“ or we give up all our energy and leave thisdimension. Consider that we could get themessage, reclaim our energy and live again!

This is the meaning behind the Living Cycle.We often find ourselves caught up in theVicious Cycle instead and discover that weblind ourselves to our own power and choice.Our bodies play out the par t by creating toxicchemicals and disease. It is our own cycle ofcreation and we can choose to change it.

Denial

Denial is a tricky thing to understand torecognize and to overcome. It is so much apart of everyone’s psychological makeup thatit blends smoothly into the way we handleday-to-day events in our lives.

As is true with everyone, you have a system ofdenial that you have developed over the years.Denial is self-deception. It is the way youprotect yourself from the pain or fear of eventsyou are not ready to accept.

Has anyone ever told you, “You’re onlyfooling yourself”? If so, they were informallytelling you that you were in denial about aparticular event or belief.

Denial is a way your mind operates to avoidthe painful recognition that you are in a self-destructive situation or pattern.

With chemical dependency, denial canbecome more complicated because of themind altering nature of alcohol or other drugs.You can lose your ability to accurately judgesimply day-to-day situations.

Denial Says

“I do not have a problem.”

“Everyone behaves the way I do.”

“Things will get better tomorrow or nextyear.”

Describe one way your own denial may havedistorted they way you viewed your lifeissues:



In order to make the positive life-stylechanges you will need to recognize and workthrough the system of denial you have built upto protect your patterns.

It won’t be easy because your denial hasgrown deep roots in your daily life. Youprobably have developed a strong group ofdefenses that surrounds and protects you.

Some Things To Consider

Denial can be apparent in chronic disease.

• People with cancer may put faith in a“magic cure.”

• People with heart disease often ignorewarning signs and fudge on exercise and dietrecommendations.

• People with diabetes fail to follow life-stylechanges that promote good health.

Facts About Denial

• Denial impairs judgement.

• Denial is a characteristic of the disease.

• Denial distorts the truth.

• Denial grows in strength as the diseaseprogresses.

• Denial cannot be overcome until you facewhat’s not working.

One way of looking at denial is to see howyou use a number of non-feeling defenses tomake up your Wall of Denial. These defensemechanisms keep you from seeing the truth,and often keep others away from showing thetruth to you.

By building a wall of isolat ion with yourdefenses, you can hide where no one can get atyou. You may protect yourself so well that no

one can even get through to help you.

MY WALL OF DENIAL - Circle any youhave used.

Rationalizing

“I yell and lash out because I am under a lot ofpressure.”

Silence

“I can stare her down before she sayssomething she is sorry about.”

Blaming

“My problems are because I am stuck in adead end job with a jerk of a boss.”

Intellectualizing

“Two ounces of alcohol a d ay isrecommended by health experts.”

Threatening

“I’d like to see you try to make me stop.”

Minimizing

“I only get high on special occasions.”

Switching

“You always seem to be in a bad mood, whatis bothering you?”

Hiding

“If I hang low for a week, no one will give mestatic about last night.”

Generalizing

“We all have a bad habit or two.”

Projecting

“John really has a problem with anger. I’mglad I’m not like him.”

Agreeing

“Yes, I think your right. I should cut down onmy compulsive spending.”



Joking

“If you think this is bad, you should see mewhen I really get going.”

List the three defenses you use most often andgive a specific example of how you have usedeach one.

1.

Example

2.

Example

3.

Example

The Two Roles of Denial

Denial can be misunderstood because it playsboth a good and a bad role in most people’slives.

Denial the Friend

Denial has protected you from facts andfeelings that you may not have been ready toaccept. The pain of the truth may have beentoo overpowering. Denial was your shield thatallowed you to continue functioning from dayto day.

Denial the Enemy

Denial has not allowed you to accurately viewthe pain your issue have caused you and thosearound you. Without fully recognizing youruncomfortability, you have not felt itnecessary to change. This has allowed yourdenial to continue to grow.

Describe one way your denial has served youas a “good guy.”

Describe one way your denial has served youas a “bad guy.”



Another aspect of denial that may trouble youis how easily it can find supporters amongyour friends and family.

It may be your spouse or parent or son ordaughter who want to believe that you havehad a brief problem. Or they may wish tocompliment you on your recent changes inyour behavior.

Any of these circumstances may play intoyour own pattern of denial. You might bethinking: “If she thinks I am doing so well,maybe I don’t need to be so strict withmyself” or “If he didn’t recognize how badthings were last Christmas, maybe Ioverplayed the problem.

One helpful tool to recognize your own denialand begin a more open and honest way ofsharing with others is the Johari Windowworks has helped many to change for thebetter.

The window’s four panes represent fouraspects of your total self. The entire windowrepresents you. The top two panes are visibleto you but the bottom two panes are hiddenfrom your view.

Myself

Open Secret

Blind Potential

Open

The open pane contains material that is visibleto you and that you are willing to share withothers. This may include your job and yourlove for your hobby.

Secret

The secret pane stores things you know aboutyourself but do not want to share with others.This pane increases as your addiction orproblem progresses. Perhaps you are jealousof a friends promotion or had an affair. Youhave many secrets centered around yourpattern.

Blind

The blind pane houses aspects of yourself thatyou do not recognize but which are easily seenby others. For example, you may think ofyourself as a giving person, yet others see thatyou have become very self-centered.

Potential

The final pane is pote ntial, which isinformation stored in your subconsciousshows four panes of equal size, they could bevery different. The open pane may be verysmall if there is little the person is willing toshare. The secret and blind panes may beenormous.



Draw the panes in your Johari Window.Explain the sizes of your open, secret, andblind panes.

My Open pane is this size because…

My Secret pane is this size because…

My Blind pane is this size because…

Confronting and Leveling

As you build honest relationships, throughconfronting and leveling, your Johari Windowchanges. By sharing your secrets, you shiftsome of your Secret pane to the Open pane.As you learn to accept words you hear aboutyourself from friends and peers, your Openpane grows and your Blind pane shrinks.

Leveling and confronting are healthy waysyou talk with others. This helps you discoveryour Blind and Secret self. It takes courage tolevel and confront. It is so easy to act in waysthat develop honesty.

Peer One–Confronting

“You don’t appear to be willing to talk aboutyour feelings about your children.”

Peer Two–Leveling

“It’s still difficult for me to accept how mydrug use has hurt them.”

To Confront is to present a person withhimself/herself by describing how you seehim/her. This is sometimes called “Mirroring.”Confronting is factual. It is not criticizing oradvice-giving.

To Level is to respond openly andspontaneously about your feelings. When youlevel – that is, when you reveal a feeling – thefeeling usually becomes less intense and easierfor you to handle.




(1) List three situations in which it is difficultfor you to confront.

1.

2.

3.

A. What thoughts/feelings get in yourway of leveling with those closest to you?

B. What value might you create byleveling with others?

C. When I am my authentic self I feel:

(2) Addictions or compulsive behaviorsare caused because the body craves attention.To overcome this spend 15 minutes touching

each part of your body lovingly, whilethinking thoughts of gratitude to your body forthe service it performs.

Example: Do with an oil massagebefore your bath or in the shower using soap.

(3) Our life experience is based on whatwe focus on. The following questions aredesigned to assist you to experience morehappiness, excitement, pride, gratitude, joy,commitment, and love every day of your life.Remember, quality questions create a qualitylife. Come up with two or three answers to allof these questions and feel fully associated. Ifyou have difficulty discovering an answersimply add the word “could”. Example: “Whatcould I be most happy about in my life now?

The Morning Power Question

A. What am I happy about in my life now?

• What about that makes me happy?How does that make me feel?B. What am I excited about in my life now?

• What about that makes me excited?How does that make me feel?C. What am I proud about in my life now?

• What about that makes me proud?How does that make me feel?D. What am I grateful about in my lifenow?

• What about that makes me grateful?How does that make me feel?E. What am I committed to in my life rightnow?

• What about that do I enjoy? How doesthat make me feel?F. What am I committed to in my life rightnow?

• What about that makes me committed?How does that make me feel?



G. Who do I love? Who loves me?

• What about that makes me loving?How does that make me feel?• In the evening, sometimes I ask theMorning Questions, and sometimes I ask anadditional three questions.

The Evening Power Questions

A. What have I given today?

• In what ways have I been a givertoday?

B. What did I learn today?

C. How has today added to the qualityof my life or how can I use today as aninvestment in my future?

• Repeat the Mor ning Qu est io ns(optional).

Taken from the book Awakening the GiantWithin by Tony Robins.

(4) Mirror Work

Look into your own eyes and say out loud: “ILOVE YOU, I REALLY LOVE YOU!” Dothis first thing in the morning and last thing atnight. Do it often during the day. Ifuncomfortable feelings come up... just feelthem ...let them pass through. Then repeat: “ILOVE YOU, I REALLY LOVE YOU!”

Do your positive affirmations while lookinginto a mirror. If the affirmations feel false atfirst, do them anyway. Repeat: “I LOVEYOU, I REALLY LOVE YOU!”

If something happens that is unpleasant for

you, immediately go to the mirror and say:“IT’S ALL RIGHT, I LOVE YOU!”

If something wonderful happens, go to themir ro r and sa y: “THANK YOU!”Acknowledge yourself for the good in yourlife.

Look into your own eyes and say: “IFORGIVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU!”Forgive other people in the mirror, too. Usethe mirror to talk to other people. Tell themthe things you are afraid to tell them in person.Tell them you want their love and approval.

Have a mirror on your desk, or inside yourdesk. Keep a small one in your pocket to useat any moment. If people ask what you aredoing, tell them. Let the word and methodspread.

When you do this consistently, you can makegreat changes in less than a month.



Abundance

AndGratitude




What do we know about abundance? It is anaspect of perfection and is the natural state ofthe universe. The universe operates on theprinciple that we always receive what webelieve in abu ndantly. We are alwaysexperiencing abundance, to have abundance inour lives requires a willingness to recognizethat it is always available and we need onlyopen ourselves to receive it. Regardless of ourunderlying beliefs, we are experiencing thosebeliefs abundantly in the manifestation ofthem.

Our lives are full of manifestations of our ownbeliefs. If we believe that we deserve to bewealthy, we tend to manifest great wealth. Ifwe believe that we deserve to be mediocre, wewill manifest great mediocrity. If we believethat we deserve poverty, we will manifest it inabundance, to experience less than abundancein our lives, we must actively resist it.

It appears that the principle of abundancerelates very much to our own sense of selfworth. Some people exist in great wealth andyet feel they are worthless. And others exist inabject poverty and believe they are of greatworth. So what’s the connection betweenabundance and what we believe about ourworth? Certainly there must be a connectionbetween wealth and self-worth.

Abundance is merely the universe’s responseto our thoughts and emotions. We think it andfeel it and the universe provides experience orform in abundance to assist us in thinking andfeeling.

Consider that it is what we focus upon thatwill grow. We live in a dimension of flu idcreation. It is full of energy. Some energy iskinetic, like movement and form (chairs,tables, bridges, people’s bodies, etc.). Someenergy is potential, awaiting instructions.Potential energy is potential creation. Energy

becomes kinetic as we focus attention upon it.This is the principle of gratitude.

Gratitude is the focusing of attention upon athought and emotion. This brings the thoughtinto physical manifestation. Thereby, weexperience physically all that we think andfeel gratitude toward or focus attention upon.

To enjoy abundance in our lives requires onlya willingness to recognize that it is our naturalstate. When we choose to make doing what welove the core experience in our life, we moveinto alignment with the universe. Immediately,the infinite supply of energy is made available.We begin to feel the aliveness that comes withthe expression of gratitude, and these samegood feelings are felt by the people we comein contact with. The people and circumstancesthat will support us are attracted to us.

Consider for a moment that we have beendoing that very thing all along: doing what welove as the core exper ience of our lives.Looking at your life you may exclaim, “Idon’t think so! I hate living with that SOB!, Ihate that job!, I hate my parents!” And yet, ifyou really loved to do something else, youwould most probably find a way to do that.

You are always doing what you love most atthat given moment. Now the word “most” is asubjective call and comparative in nature. Ifyou found yourself in the jungles of a far awayplace, like a soldier in Viet Nam, for instance,doing what you love most might be runninglike a rabbit away from incoming fire. Doingwhat you love most to a battered wife mightbe escaping the blows of her husband, or itcould also be in another view, taunting him sohe will abuse. It’s all a matter of perspective.Nevertheless, we are always doing what welove most at any given moment.

“Man is not the creature of circumstances;



circumstances are the creatures. - BenjaminDisraeli

This is the point of awareness that we canchange the manifestation of our abundance bychanging the focus of our gratitude and love.When we focus our attention and our gratitudetoward what we don’t want, we tend to getthat. When we focus that same attentiontoward what we do want, we tend to get that.It all comes down to choice.

That which you choose and focus upon tendsto grow abundantly. The connection thisprinciple has with all the others is ademonstration of the interconnections we allhave to our abundance.

“If you could only love enough - you couldbe the most powerful person in the world.”

- Emmett Fox

Attraction

As we do what we love, we direct energy intothe creation of high quality products andservices. The people we attract are the oneswho will help us by buying our products andservices and recommending them to others.

Here’s another point of view pertaining tothose we owe money to: as we open themailbox each day, look at the letters received.Who are the people we hear from the most?Our relatives or buddies from college? Monthafter month, it is our creditors who write to us.They keep track of us when we move. Theyare concerned about our well-being and ourfinancial security. If they don’t hear from anyone of us, they call. Few others we know willexpress that much interest in us.

Release

Things being in a constant state of change, weneed a healthy attitude toward letting go of old

things and embracing the new. One thing isalways replacing another. In getting rid of theold and the unnecessary, we create a vacuumand we draw to us new and exciting things.

When we hang on to the old and theoutmoded, we create blocks, stagnation. Thisapplies to habits, old clothes, junk in he closet,in the attic, in he garage and so on.

We must be prepared to let go of things. Ifyou have loved people and you never actuallylet go of them in your mind, no one will comealong to replace them. The minute you trulylet go of those people and release them, andlook toward new possibilities, you will havenew relationships.

Our body can teach us lots about the value ofelimination. It has no fewer than six waysaside from the skin as a whole, which it usesto et rid of unwanted material. What a disasterarea we would be if our bodies nevereliminated! From the same point of view, weneed to eliminate mentally.

Whenever we let go of our attachment tosomething, it returns to us again multiplied.What we are unwilling to let go of becomes asource of anxiety and threat. A relationshipbased upon clinging, possessiveness, orunhealthy attachment will fail. There isconstant worry and fear. It is only when wehold people and things lightly that we canenjoy them fully.

People come into our lives to teach us and tolearn from us. Sometimes they stay for amoment, sometimes for a lifetime. When theygo, we often feel sad because we cling to apicture of the past or what we think mighthave been. The key to happiness is to allowthe person and the relationship completefreedom to evolve unfettered by fears.

Clinging never feels good. It brings hardshipto the one who feels the need to possess and tothe one he or she would possess. When wecling to someone in resentment, we bind



ourselves to that person by our thoughts andmemories. The metaphor of seeing life as ariver is an apt one. The river of life wouldhave us flow to the ocean; instead we wouldrather cling to the rock upon which we dashedour foot.

It is impossible to change the events of thepast. We can, however, change the way wefeel about those events. Those people whoseemed to bring us pain and hardship were ourteachers presenting us with challenges thathelped us to grow.

Once we realize the problems existed becauseof the way we perceived them, we freeourselves to learn the lessons, and move on.Relationships can heal. Growth can happen.Love can replace fear.

It is time to enjoy our Journey ofAbundance!

We all deserve the great abundance in ourlives; An abundance of health, happiness,love, money, friends and intimacy. Look atour lives and our bodies - we have spent ourlives creating both of them. It may be time tochange the lesson and move on! It’s a matterof choice.

“Wealth is the product of man’s capacity tothink.” - Ayn Rand

Another View of Lack

Lack of any kind in life is a direct messagethat we are failing to love ourselves. Lovingourselves will heal and change our lives. Itwill also allow us to consciously directtremendous abundance in our lives. Gratitudeis the key to directing abundant energy. Sobegin now to consciously express gratitude foryour world, your creation.

To experience the total abundance in our liveswe must think and feel abundance all aroundus, becoming aware through conscious

gratitude moment by moment. The past is anillusion. The future a vision. We have the giftof this moment. That’s why we call it the“present”. When we select peace, joy,serenity, love, we manifest it in abundance. Bein alignment with life. Withhold love from noone, yourself or others. Love is the principleof abundance.

“When I have forgiven myself andremembered who I am, I will bless everyoneand everything I see.”

The principle that we always receive what webelieve is relentless. It is in constant operationwhether we notice it or not. A related issues isone that many people have trouble with. It is asuperstitious belief that in order to have somethings in our lives that are good and positive,we have to be willing to accept things that arebad and negative to attain a balance. Thiscreates a continual block to progressing in anyreal way with the quality of our lives.

“The best thing you can do for the poor is notbe one of them.”

Many people believe that when it comes tomoney and prosperity, all the positivethinking, hard work and right at titudes willnever make a difference to their ability to paythe bills at the end of the month.

The fact is that your conscious and yoursubconscious thoughts are always creatingresults in your life INCLUDING determininghow much money you have in the bank. Yourprosperity or lack of it is a result of yourthinking. Your mind and your belief systemare what hold you right where you are, andyour mind will keep you right or poordepending on how you train it. What youthink is what you get. Think poor, stay poor.,Think rich, stay rich.

Many people are uncomfortable with moneyfor various reasons and hence they keepthemselves poor. Imagine yourself in hefollowing situations to see how comfortable



you are about having money.

Situation A

You have just been to the bank and collected$5000 in cash to buy a second hand car. Onthe way home from the bank you meet a friendand stop for a coffee. While you are payingfor the drinks, your friend notices that youhave a wallet stuffed full o f money.

Would you be embarrassed and hastily explainto your friend why you have so much money,or would you feel perfectly comfortable incarrying the money and explain nothing?

(IN ORDER TO MAKE MONEY OR SAVEIT, YOU NEED TO BE COMFORTABLEWITH IT. If you are uncomfortable with it,you will subconsciously, if not consciously,arrange for you to end up not having it.)

Situation B

You are out shopping with a friend and youfind that you have left all of your money athome. Your friend has sufficient to loan yousome cash for the afternoon. How would youfeel about asking to borrow fifty dollars?Would you prefer to go back home and pickup your own money?

(It is important for your own prosperity thatyou feel that you are worth helping out. IT ISIMPORTANT THAT YOU FEEL YOUDESERVE HELP, (AND MONEY) ASY O U R A B I L IT Y T O R E C E I V E DDETERMINES YOUR PROSPERITY.)

Situation C

Many people associate pover ty withspirituality. Their idea is that it is virtuous tobe poor.

How do you think God would feel, on findingout that you are making half a million dollarsper year? Do you think he would say, “Whata greedy pig!”, or do you think He would say,“Good luck to you! You must be doingsomething right.”

PROSPERITY AND FREEDOM FROMWANT DEMONSTRATE THAT WE AREBALANCED AS INDIVIDUALS. Thespiritual texts encourage us to give to the poor,not jo in them in their poverty.

An Attitude of Gratitude

It is imperative that we are thankful for whatwe have, not only from a spiritual point ofview, but also from a scientific point of view.The great spiritual teachers, Jesus, Buddha,Mohammed and others, have taught that weshould count our blessings. The wisdombehind this is that our mind is a magnet andwe gravitate toward what we think about most.

My observation has been that the universe isessentially fairly forgiving, but that if a personconsistently concentrates on what he doesn’thave, he will get less and less of what hewants. I have also found that those peoplewho have the most beautiful friendships arethose people who value them very highly.Those who lead active and fulfilling lives arethe people who are consistently rejoicing inwhat life gives them.

It appears that in many cases we are sociallyconditioned to look at the negative side of life.If there are ten things going right and onething wrong, we tend to draw attention to whatis wrong. When our child gets eleven out oftwenty in a math test, we don’t concentrate onthe eleven he got right, but on the nine that hemissed. When we have a headache, we don’tsay “My chest, stomach, legs and arms feelgreat!” We say, “My head hurts!” We worryabout the spot on our collar and don’t rejoicein the fact that ninety nine percent of our shirtis clean! Too many people believe that beingrealist ic and being rational is a matter offocusing on faults!

An attitude of gratitude ensures that our



attention is on what we want. As we seeourselves as living abundantly and richly, andrecognize what we already have, we set up aflow of good things coming our way. Moreand more often, we find ourselves in the rightplace at the right time.

What C an I Do?

Often the world teaches that life is a struggle.Many times that really feels true. That is onlybecause the way we have been taught to livediametrically opposes the way the universeoperates.

Have you ever said something like this toyourself: “I could really be a really greatmusician if I only had a recording contract?”The world would have us believe that we can’tbe something until we have the trappings thatshow we are that something.

According to Wally Minto’s book, AlphaAwareness, the universe works like this:

BEING ! DOING ! HAVING

The world teaches....

HAVING ! DOING ! BEING

So much time is spent trying to HAVE, thatwe never get to BE.

Looking at the above example in this light,first you would be a musician, then you wouldbe able to perform as a musician, then youwould have the things that a great musicianwould have.

To put it another way, rather than first bu ildour house (create it physically), draw up plans(create it on a mental level), or determine whatit will look like (create it sp iritually): we beginwith a feeling or idea of the type of house wewould like, then we draw up the blueprints,

and then create the house on a physical level.

Consider how easily things would go for youas you do things, if you first had an awarenessof what you want to do and a strongwillingness (emotion) behind that action. It’sso much easier to become a veterinarian, forinstance, if you started out being a veterinarianas a child. It’s the principle of faith, acting “asif” or “being the part”.

Realizing how creative we are , as we thinkabout the things we want, we will get morewanting. We must affirm and think as if wealready had what we want. Living in gratitudethat source has already given it to us is calledfaith.

Exercise:

Affirming The Perfect Day

Since what we focus our attention upon willgrow, it stands to reason that what we focusour attention on in the morning (or thebeginning of our day, whenever that may be)will manifest itself through the day. Therefore,we believe it is important to affirm your daywith intent at the opening of it. It has been ourexperience that your first thoughts of the daywill set the trends for that day. Consideraffirming your day into the positive right fromthe beginning.

The Perfect Day Affirmation starts out with agood positive statement. To make your ownstatement, use the following example:

(Notice that each sentence includes feelings,rather than details. Use this statement at thebeginning of each day and whenever you feelless than peaceful. It is a great way to expandyour mind and see the joyfulness around you.)

“I awake feeling grateful for the wonderfulrest.” (a statement of gratitude)

“I notice a calm and peaceful feeling in my



body.” (maybe an exercise of faith)

“I feel eager and grateful to start the day.” (astatement of gratitude)

“I feel centered and balanced from doing whatI love.” (Harmony)

“I look forward to all the new experiences Ishall have and all the love I shall give andreceive.” (Practicing my perfection)

“I realize that everything in the universe isperfect, and only perfect things happen tome.” (Negative and positive are for my growth- gratitude)

“I sense a direct connection to InfiniteIntelligence, and trust that I will be guidedperfectly as I use my intuition.” (Choice andaccountability - trusting)

“I am filled with joy and happiness and seemyself radiating that joy to everyone all daylong.” (Acting “as if” - faith. BEING thepart.)

My Perfect Day Affirmation:


(1) Here is a checklist of things you can do tobecome aware of this principle working inyour behalf:

a. Choose to be abundant and commityourself to doing whatever it takes. Replacenegative thoughts, statements and actions withpositive, loving ones. Have faith, acting as ifyou already have what you want.

b. Spend more time doing what you love.Express and develop your talents, and sharethem with others.

c. Constantly reaffirm to yourself that youdeserve abundance of all good thing.

d. Build a support system to help you developnew habits. Ask for assistance, knowing how

to ask for help builds our ability to receive.

e. Notice what works and do it! Observewealthy people, examine their positiveattributes and let them rub off on you.

f. Be thankful. Count your blessings. Listthem individually. Keep a journal of yourexperiences.

g. Continually stretch your belief system as towhat is possible. Awareness of abundance ismerely seeing we have all things already.

h. Blessing - bless seven other people andyourself with seven things that you want everymorning before you get out of bed. Bless yourcreditors as you pay your bills. Be gratefuland enjoy your creation.

i. Face every challenge with enthusiasm andcommitment.

j. Recognize that poverty is a mental disease.Life many diseases, it is curable for those whobelieve it can be cured. As with illness, ittakes effort, initiative, and courage to beat it--and if you give up, you’re in trouble . Nearlyall happy and prosperous people have beatenthe disease at some time in their life. You cantoo!

What you feed - will grow!

(2) Many people have developed negativeattitudes toward money. Most of us need todevelop a more positive relationship withmoney. We live in an abundant world andmoney is simply a form of energy that werelate to along with many other lifeinvolvements. Money is simply energy and bycreating a more constructive relationship withit we increase our manifestation of abundance.



Abundance is not just money, but money is aconstructive way of practicing abundance.

Sit quietly for a few minutes with pen andpaper. Let thoughts come to you, in a natural,unforced way, with money. Speak to money asif it were a person and let it speak to you. Hearmoney respond to your thoughts about it. Letmoney tell you how it operates in your life; letit have a voice so it can speak to you and tellyou what it has to say to your so it can helpyou. Think of money as a friend who wants torelate to you positively and write down itsmessages to you.

When writing is finished continue with thismeditation:

(3) Visualization:

Become more aware of wanting to let go ofthe obstacles to your living a more abundantlife. Through the dialogue you had withmoney, you have become aware of some ofthe attitudes that need to be changed. You areaware of how letting go of some of theseattitudes and becoming aware of them is a new

beginning to a more prosperous life.

You have been so accustomed to thesethoughts and beliefs that these obstacles havebecome a part of your inner landscape, butnow you are doing some digging out ofentrenched ways of living and clearing themout.

You know it’s time to say goodbye, so you aregoing to recognize these obstacles and beliefsand tell them goodbye in a letter.

You take the steps toward creating a betterrelationship with your abundance and realizemoney is your friend. Money wants to getunblocked in your life. You begin with: DearObstacles, Dear Poverty Attitudes, Dear Lackand Limitation, however you wish to addressthem.

Release the letter in anyway that appeals toyou. Some save the letters in journals to charttheir progress, others burn them in a finalritual letting go, and others even mail the letterto their lack with no return address so it cannever find it’s way back to them. Burning theletters seems to work the best.

(4) Shifting A Lack Paradigm

Objective: To assist in shifting any negativityconnected with creating abundance - from theold way of thinking to the new way ofthinking. This pencil and paper game assistsus to see the distinction between the old wayof lack thinking and the new way ofabundance consc iousness . Enga gingparticipants in analysis and choice regardingboth the old and the new helps them realizewhat the shift to an abundance paradigmmeans. When a person exercises choice, theparadigm shift becomes easier to understand.Seeing the composite “old” and the composite“new” helps to reinforce the comparison andclarify the new way of thinking being, andmanifesting.



Procedure:

Pick the terms below that fit you now, placingeach term in the appropriate column, OldWay or New Way. We suggest that you crossout each term you’ve placed as you use it.

low trust high trust

wanting “being the part”

lack gratitude for all

things

life is a struggle do what you love

hate to pay bills grateful for credit

worthless I deserve

confusion and a l i g n m e n t a n d

resentment peace

helpless empowered

Notice where these are for you, or write in

your own words.

YOUR INTENTION IS EVERYTHING.

OLD WAY NEW WAY



Health and Healing



Health and Healing

The idea that energy follows thought becomesreadily apparent in the study of the Principleof Health and Healing. Stated simply: themind directs the body; you direct your mind.

Recently the field of knowledge about healthcalle d psyc hosomatic med icine hasexperienced growth and acceptance as morepeople have become aware of the mind/bodyconnection. This knowledge states that manyor most of our troubles manifesting asphysical symptoms have their origin in mentalor emotional disturbance.

All illness has its primary origin in the mindrather than in the body. Although a person’sphysical health can be imperiled by certainemotions, this concept goes beyond thephysical level.

Pain results from an imbalance somewhere inyour being. It is the evidence of some form oftoxin. It may be toxic food, toxic emotions ora toxic relationship. Physical pain warns thatsomething is toxic in the body. Symptoms caninclude headache, diarrhea, constipation,cold s, allergy, indigestion, and weightproblems.

Physical pain has its valid, positive point. It iscontinual feedback to tell us what to do andwhat not to do.

Whenever we eat too much or we don’t getenough sleep or a part of our body is gettingworn out or something is broken and needs arest, our marvelous automatic alarm systemlets us know.

Our experience of emotional pain operatesalong the same lines. If we are hurtingemotionally, it is a message that we need tochange our approach or see things differently.If we feel hurt, let down or dumped bysomeone in our life, the message may be,“Love those in your life without expectations.Accept them as they are and take what they

want to give witho u t judgement .”Alternatively, the message may be, “Don’t letthe actions of others destroy your own self-esteem.”

If your house burns down or someone stealsyour car, you may well experience emotionalupset. This is human. If you choose to learnfrom the situation you may well discover thatyou can live happily without the things towhich you were so attached. The emotionalupset may cause you to reassess yourpriorities. I don’t mean to say that we shouldlive without houses and cars. The point is thatsuccessful people learn from such experiencesand adjust their values so life’s hiccupsbecome less painfu l.

Emotional upsets generate powerful and lethaltoxins. Blood samples taken from personsexperiencing intense fear of anger wheninjected into guinea pigs have killed them inless than two minutes. Imagine what thesetoxins can do to your own body.

Every though that you have affects your bodychemistry within a split second. Rememberhow you feel when you are barreling down thehighway and a big truck suddenly brakestwenty meters in front of you. A shock waveshoots through your whole system. Yourmind produces instant reactions in your body.

The toxins that fear, anger, frustration andstress produce not only kill guinea pigs, butkill us off in a similar manner. It is possible tobe fearful, anxious, irritated and healthy at thesame time. It is not just difficult, it isimpossible. Simply put, your body’s health isa reflection of your mental health. Sicknesswill often then be a result of unresolved innerconflicts which in t ime show up in the body.

The mind-body connection is such that if, forexample, we want to avoid something, veryoften our subconscious mind will arrange it.



Once we recognize that these things happen tous, we are half way to doing something aboutthem.

Our belief system and our expectations cankeep us sick. If our sister says, “I’ve got thishorrible cold and you’ll probably get it andfeel horrible,” then we become susceptible tothe illness. We get sick in part because weexpect it.

There is also evidence to suggest that we mayget a disease because our parents had it andwe think it is inevitable. We carrysubconscious patterns or programs around onour brain cells that keep us either healthy orsick. Some people say “I never get colds” andnever get them. Others say “I always get atleast two colds per year” and they succeed.This is not coincidence.

As children, we learn quickly that being sickis one of the most effective ways of gettingattention. For some of us it is the only way.When we become sick, our friends and familyrally around and immediately we feel moreloved and reassured. Some people neverbreak this pattern and for a lifetime manage tofall ill, fall off ladders and break legswhenever they feel ignored or unloved.Clearly, this is much more an unconsciousthan a conscious behavior. However, the factremains that those people who feel loved andsecure have far less illness and “accidents”than those who don’t.

Repressed feelings and emotions affect ourhealth. The victim pattern, “don’t worry aboutme. I’m not important” or “I’m used to beingignored and disappointed” or “I’ll just sit herewith a smile on my face and stew inside” isthe beginning of disaster. To be healthy andenergetic, we must maintain positive emotionsand we must be expressing our feelings. It isalso very important to believe we DESERVEto be healthy. If we harbor any subconsciousfeelings like, “I’m not a nice person” or “I’vedone a lot of bad things” or “I deserve to be

punished,” then a classic way to suffer isthrough ill health - sometimes for a lifetime.

If we are not doing he job or leading the lifewe enjoy, our mind is constantly holding thethought, “I wish I wasn’t here.” As our bodyis a slave of the mind, our body will then startgetting us out of whatever we want to get outof. The first step is illness. The morepermanent solution of death.

In looking at the mind--body connection, it iseasy to see how much our body is affected byour mental state. Our subconscious mind ismonitoring our healing processes everysecond of the day. Your body is continuallyrebuilding and its rebuilding blueprint comesfrom your mind.

When your wounded finger heals, whatcontrols the binding of the new cells? Whatintelligence is it that ensures that when youlose a finger nail, it is another finger nail yougrown on the end of your finger, and not abladder? Something has to be controlling allthese things! Let us not take the miracle ofour physical being for granted!

Your mind is the architect of our body andyour body is a reflection of your thoughts. Ifyou are consumed by fear and anger andunexpressed emotion, your body will reflect it.The “disease” of the mind becomes “disease”in the body.

Our Health is Our Responsibility

What we focus on expands. Visualize ourperfect, healthy self on all levels and act “asif.” Having good physical, emotional, andmental health gives our spirit a more powerful,energetic place to dwell. Our entire being actsas a unit. The health of one level influencesthe health of the others. It is a system ofoperations, each affecting the others.



To heal any disease, whether mental,emotional or physical, go to the source of thecondition and change the perception. By ourbecoming quiet, (meditation and listening), thespirit can assist us in changing the perceptionthat is creating the disease.

Consider that when you give your illnessenergy, it will grow. Consider, further, whatyou may be doing to yourself by “owning” anillness: i.e., “my ulcer,” “my liver condition,”“my manic depression,” etc. By owning anillness, you feed it, give it energy and make itreal. A change of perception might rid you ofthe illness and return you to health. Perhaps ifyou called the illness a condition of yourbody, a manifestation of your process ofthought: “My body has experienced a livercondition in the past and now I choose to getthe message it has for me and move on.” Thisstatement accurately describes the situationwithout attachment, puts it into the past whereit belongs, takes responsibility for theemotional condition causing the physicalmalady, and exercises faith to heal.

To begin the healing process, avoidsquelching or hiding emotions and feelings.Reclaim your health by being responsible forit. Rapid Eye Technology is one quick andeffective method to discharge pent-upnegativity and mis-perceptions and return toyou the responsibility for your own health.

We heal ourselves by recognizing our ownworth; we heal others by recognizing thewholeness and divinity within them. When weperceive health in another we heal ourselves.We make health real in others by believing intheir health. This is the basis for healing in anymode or model. Faith healing, the curing ofdisease by supernatural means, might beconsidered the natural means of healingregardless of the method. In other words, it isour own innate process that creates the healthwe experience.

Letting go of our perception of what health

looks like can be very healing to our ownbeing. Many of us spend our energy lookingoutward to see if those around us are healthyor ill. By doing so, we exert our energies in aprocess called judgment and labe ling.Consider what might happen to you if youwere to release this pastime and begin toperceive those around you as whole andcomplete, full of love and light.

Stress

Stress is a physical and emotional reaction tochange – whether positive or negative. Thefight of flight reaction kicks in, preparing yourbody for action: your muscles may tense, yourheart may “race,” you may breathe morerapidly, and sugars and fats may be releasedinto your bloodstream for quick energy. At thesame item you may experience a wide rangeof feelings, from anxiety and worry toexcitement and anticipation. Your actions mayalso reveal telltale signs of stress: fidgeting,racing around, snapping at others, or eatingmore than your body needs.

Stress vs. Distress

Not all stress is bad. In the short run, stresscan help you be more alert, efficient, andproductive. How negative your stress reactionis depends on many things: how often itoccurs, how intense it is, how long it lasts, andmost important, how you perceive the stressfulevent.

Short surges of stress can add zest to your life,helping your body mobilize to meet specificdemands.

When you don’t have a chance to recoverfrom stress, your physical, emotional andmental resources become depleted, leading toillness.



Why Manage Stress?

You can’t eliminate stress all together. Butyou can manage it. You can do this by takingtime out from tension and with relaxationtechniques . L i s tening t o ho w yo ucommunicate with yourself and others andusing social and physical buffers against stresscan also help. Some of the payoffs ofmanaging stress are: a stronger immunesystem for fighting disease, lower risk of heartdisease and other chronic illnesses, and overallbetter health. Other benefits include improvedrelationships and reduced burnout in both yourwork and personal life.

How Stress is Unique

Public speaking may be thrilling for you, butfor the next person, the experience may be asterrifying as standing in front of a firingsquad. The events that trigger your stress andreaction to stressful situations are unique toyou.

The following checklists may help you betterunderstand your stress triggers and reactions.Simply being aware of them may lower yourstress by helping you identify changes you canmake.

Check those on the list that have caused stressfor you in the last six months.

Daily Hassles

� Misplacing or losing something

� Getting caught in a traffic jam.

� Waiting in line

� Oversleeping

� Disagreeing with a co-worker

� Running late

� Missing the bus

� Forgetting your purse or coat

� Coming home to a messy house

� Having car trouble

� Getting a traffic ticket

� Having argument with spouse or child

What have we missed that is on your list?

Major Events

� Marrying

� Being laid off or fired

� Expecting the death of a friend, familymember, or co-worker

� Moving

� Having a baby

� Going to war

� Having surgery

� Divorce or breaking up

� Going to jail

� Changing jobs

� Starting school

� Receiving a diagnosis of a seriousdisease

� Having your children leave home (orcome back)

� Fighting with the IRS

What have we missed that on your list?



Ongoing Problems

� Money or credit problems

� Noisy or nosey neighbors

� Chronic illness

� Disability

� Crime in the neighborhood

� Eating disorder

� Unsatisfactory job

� Shaky economy

� Poor housing or living arrangements

� Alcoholism or drug addiction

� Physical, emotional, mental orspiritual abuse

� Poor relationships with friends orfamily

� Raising children through theadolescent years

� Having someone dump on you


Identifying Your Stress Reactions

In the last exercise you gave some thought toyour stress triggers. Now focus your attentionon your unique reactions to stress, sometimescalled a stress “signature” since no two arecompletely alike. Read the list below, checkoff the physical, mental, emotional andbehavior reactions you typically experiencewhen you are under stress.

Your Physical Reactions

� Headache

� Muscle tension or cramps

� Dry mouth or bad breath

� Racing heartbeat

� High blood pressure or heart burn

� Cold or flu

� Diarrhea

� Clammy hands

� Constipation

� Teeth grinding

� Skin rash

� Back pain

� Stomach ache or vomiting

� Chest pain

� Laryngitis

� Shaky hands

� Blurred vision

� Insomnia

� Fatigue

� Dis-ease in the body


Your Thoughts and Feelings

� Irritability

� Anxiety

� Forgetfulness

� Depression



� Apathy

� Nervousness

� Worry

� Confusion or spacy

� Excitement

� Hopelessness

� Cynicism

� Resentment

� Fearfulness

� Hostility

� Difficulty concentrating

� Racing of obsessive thoughts


Your Actions

� Withdrawing from close relationships

� Snapping at others

� Overeating or under-eating

� Being accident prone

� Completing tasks with difficulty

� Trying to do several things at once

� Talking very fast

� Watching more television

� Smoking cigarettes

� Drinking alcoholic beverages

� Taking tranquilizers or other drugs

� Blaming others

� Crying easily

� Compulsively drumming your fingersor flickering your hair.



Drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, sex, food– all canbecome crutches used to stand up to stress.Because they may temporarily calm yournerves, satisfy your urges, or make you feelmore relaxed, you may think they really dohelp.

But crutches, whatever the type, may mask thedeeper symptoms of stress. And when abused,they can lead to even more stress. They maymake it more difficult for you to live up toyour responsibilities, leading to physicalburnout. Or they may become an all-consuming addiction.

Identify whether or not you’re proppingyourself up with a crutch, and find othermeans of support. Then you can learn to“walk” on solid ground without the faultysupport of a stress crutch.

Releasing The Tension

When you need to break the stress ‘stranglehold,” you can use a variety of relaxation



techniques that give your body time out. Youdon’t have to use all the techniques on thenext few pages; try them for a week and findthe ones that work best for you. Practice themonce or twice a day or when you feelparticularly stressed.

Deep Breathing

This might be a good technique to use if yourespond to stress with fast, shallow breathing.It’s a good foundation for other techniques,and you can do it anytime, anywhere.

1. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position

2. Place your hands on your stomach

3. Inhale slowly and deeply through you’rebreathing into your stomach; hold your breathfor a few seconds.

4. Exhale all your air slowly through yourmouth while pursing your lips; this helpscontrol how fast you release the air.

5. Repeat steps three and four several times

Stretching ExercisesStretches are easy to learn and are one of thequickest ways to loosen “knots” in yourmuscles. Depending on where you “hold”your tension, try a variety of differentexercises. The stretches below work on twocommon “hot spots” – your shoulders andback.

Shoulder Stretch

1. Extend your arms in front of you atshoulder height and interlace your fingers.Take a deep breath and exhale slowly.

2. Turn your palms outward. Lower yourchin to your chest and extend your arms

forward. Take a deep breath and exhaleslowly.

3. Take a deep breath and exhale slowly,hold for ten to twenty seconds.

Back Bend

1. Stand and place your palms on your lowback. Take a deep breath and exhale slowly.

2. Slowly lean your upper body backwithout over-arching your neck; hold for 5seconds. Take a deep breath and exhaleslowly.

3. Now slowly lean forward until you feelyour low back muscles stretch; hold for 5seconds. Take a deep breath and exhaleslowly.

Humor

In Norman Cousins’ book Anatomy of anIllness”, he tells how he recovered from acrippling disease to resume a healthy, normallife. His main medicine--laughter in largedoses. Cousins believed that his seriousapproach to life had precipitated his illnessand figured he could reverse the conditionthrough laughter. He watched Marx Brothersmovies and Candid Camera tapes until boththe symptoms and the pain disappeared. Hedemonstrated what people have said for years,“Laughter is the best medicine.”

When you laugh, all kinds of wonderful thingshappen to benefit your body and mind.Endorphins are released in your brain whichgive you a “natural high” and your respiratorysystem gets the kind of workout that it mayget from jogging.

Laughter relieves pain. You can only laughwhen you are relaxed and the more relaxed



you are the less pain you feel; so funny booksand movies are ideal pain relievers. In fact,you can’t get ulcers and laugh at the sametime--you have to choose one or the other.The same goes for other illnesses. We oftenget sick by taking ourselves and life tooseriously. What we need to do is laugh to helpus stay healthy.

Let us assume that you are broke and you havejust smashed your car, you are going through adivorce and the roof is leaking. If all that isgoing on, why make things worse by beingunhappy as well?

Progressive Relaxation

Progressive relaxation is a process oftightening and releasing and feeling thedifference between the two sensations in yourbody.

1. Tighten your hand muscles while making afist. Feel the tension in your hand and holdthis position for a few seconds.

2. Relax your fist, letting the tension meltaway. Notice how your hand feels lighter;your forearm may also feel lighter. Imagineyou are a rag doll with no bones in your body.

3. Notice the difference between tense andrelaxed states. Was your hand throbbing whentense, warm and tingling when relaxed?

4. Repeat these steps with each muscle groupin your body; your arms, face, back, neck,chest, stomach, legs and feet.

Autogenic

If thinking about something tastes sour makesyour mouth water, then you may understandhow Autogenics works. Autogenics is atechnique that uses mental commands to

reverse physical symptoms such as cold orclammy hands. By telling yourself you feelwarm and heavy your body begins to relax;your body learns to follow your thoughts.

1. Sit comfortab ly, loosen any tight clothing,close your eyes and clear your mind.

2. Mentally focus on your right arm, repeatingto yourself, “My right arm feels warm andheavy,” until it feels warmer and heavier.

3. Repeat the same command with the rest ofyour body until you feel completely relaxed.

Visualization

Like Autogenics this technique builds on theprinciple of “mind over matter.” On the“wings” of imagination, your mind travels to apleasant safe place, producing sensations ofrelaxation in your body.

1. Sit or lie down in a relaxed position.

2. Picture a tranquil setting such as a sunnybeach to feel particularly relaxed.

3. Visualize feeling calm, warm and relaxed.

When Your Mind Wanders…

During relaxation techniques, you may findthat your mind keeps wandering. This driftingcan interfere with your ability to relax. Withpractice though, you can learn to focus yourmind.

You Can Do This…

• Accept that a certain amount of mind-wandering is normal. Don’t waste timepunishing yourself for it.• Bring your mind back gently to a favoriteimage: a gently flickering flame, bubblesrising to the surface of a glass, your baby’sface.• Whenever possible perform a rhythmicactivity like jogging before hand, which mayhelp you focus on breathing and clear yourmind.



Listening to Your Self

You just learned how to use the power of yourmind during relaxation techniques. Nowconsider the power of your mind’s voices inyour everyday life. Whether or not you realizeit, your internal voices–your self-talk– andhow you communicate with the rest of theworld can affect your level of stress. Learn toidentify, listen to, and change the negativevoices you hear.

Your mind had a continuous “tape” running. Isyour tape playing negative self-talk or positiveself-talk? The next time you catch yourselfmuttering about the incompetence of thedriver ahead of you or your own inferior IQlevel, put the thought on “pause,” then rewindand erase! Next, put a new message on thetape. See if you recognize any of the morestrident voices.

It’s a Black and White Life

This voice oversimplifies life: it says thatsituations are always black-and-white, either-or, yes-or-no–with nothing in between. Thisshortsighted view traps you into thinking youhave few options to choose from. It doesn’tallow you to dream, to problem-solve, toenjoy the richness of life.

Perfection–and Nothing Less

Expecting perfection in yourself and others isa sure setup for failure. In fact, perfectionismleads to procrastination, which leads toparalysis. These voices also often translateinto “should” talk: “ I should never makemistakes.” “People should always treat mefairly.” “Life should be easy for me.”

Molehills That Are Mountains

When you can’t separate the big stuff from thesmall stuff, molehills quickly turn intooverwhelming mountains. Don’t wait for atruly major event, such as a life-threateningillness, to put things in perspective for you andmake you down play the insignificant problemin your life.

The Center of the Universe

If you think things are always your fault, youmay have put yourself at the “center of theuniverse.” You may blame yourself for others’moods and feelings, especially when its’ssomeone you’re very close to. Realize that yourally don’t have that much power. It maycome as quite a relief.

A View of the World That Works

Stress-resistant people share certainperspective that may make them healthier.They see change as a challenge, feel a sense ofcommitment to something, and have a feelingof being in control of their lives. Take yourcue from these people Especially rememberthat even when you don’t have control overevents, you do have control over yourreactions to those events, which can greatlylower your stress level.

Recognizing Your Choices

Here’s an exercise to help you counteract oneform of negative self-talk: black-and-whitethinking. Use this exercise to help you beginto see the wide, colorful spectrum of choicesyou have for dealing with the stressors in yourlife. Often you can take action, But even whenyou can’t, you can change your thinking tohelp you reduce stress.



Recognizing Your Choices

Here’s an exercise to help you counteract oneform of negative self-talk: black-and-whitethinking. Use this exercise to help you beginto see the wide, colorful spectrum of choicesyou have for dealing with the stressors in yourlife. Often you can take action, But even whenyou can’t, you can change your thinking tohelp you reduce stress.

Stressors You CAN Control

Make list of the stressors in your life that youhave some control over. They might be dailyhassles, ongoing problems, or more rarely,major events.

Example:

1. Car trouble

Action You CAN Take

Take one or two of your stressors and generateas many options for action as you can. Writedown whatever comes to mind. Don’t edit;one idea may lead to another.

Example:

1. Get car fixed.

2. Set up appointments for regular automaintenance.

3. Use public transit more regularly.

4. Buy a more reliable car.

5. Take auto maintenance classes.

Stressors you CAN’T Control

Now list the stressors in your life that youthink you have no control over. You may find,however, that you can move some of theseinto the first category: stressors you cancontrol. For example, you may feel helpless todo anything about a bad relationship, bu t, infact, you can always end or change therelationship.

Example:

1. Being laid off.

Thoughts You CAN Change

Generate new ways of looking at theseproblems. At first glance, the stressful eventmay have no redeeming qualities whatsoever.Think again. Is there anything to be gainedfrom this experience?

Example:

1. Can taker opportunity to review my careerpath.

2. Can spend more time with my children.



3. Can take a class during the daytime.

Talking Back

You’ve read about a few different types ofnegative self-talk and begun to counteract onespec ific type: black-and-white thinking.What’s your negative self-talk? Listen toyourself over the next week, and write downwhat you’re saying. Give the voices a face. Doyou recognize anyone else talking besidesyourself? Your parents, your spouse, yourboss? Next, do your best to swap the negativeself-talk for positive self-talk.

Your Negative Self-Talk

Your Positive Self-Talk

If you’re telling yourself…

“I never do anything right. I’m such an idiot.”

“I can’t believe this is happening!”

“This always happens to me.”

“If only I would have…”

“There’s no point in getting my hopes us.”

“Why don’t they understand me?”

Then substitute with…

“So, I’m not perfect! I do lots of things right,and some things very well.”

“If I can do something abut a problem, I do it;otherwise, I try not to worry.”

“Some problems are inevitable. Good thingshappen in my life too.”

“I’m learning to be gentle, forgiving, and kindto myself.”

“I try to be optimistic about life and towelcome new challenges.”

“Everyone has a different view. I usually canlearn something from others, even from thosewith whom I disagree.



Styles of Comm unication

Learning to listen to the voices inside is onlyhalf the battle. The other half involvesimproving how you communicate with others.When you disagree with someone, do you feelanxious or frustrated, your stress levels risingalong with your blood pressure? That’s whatcan happen when either you or the otherperson uses an aggressive, passive-aggressive,or passive style of communication. Anassertive style of communication creates lessstress.

Aggressive

Aggressive communication conveys anattitude of intimidation, leading to badfeelings on both sides, and possibly evenabuse. While you’re verbally abusing another,though, you’re physically abusing yourself:your heart rate may increase and your bloodpressure may rise.

Passive-Aggressive

Passive-aggressive people believe they have aright to their feelings, but don’t express themopenly, Instead, they resort to covertcommunication: talking behind backs, makingexcuses, being indirect. This doesn’t lead toresolution of problems, so stressful situationsare more likely to occur.

Passive

People who believe they don’t have the rightto their feelings or opinions may not expressthem at all. A passive person is much easiertarget for exploitation, which is a definiteformula for stress.

Assertive

This is the ideal: expressing your rights andfeelings without infringing on the rights ofothers. When you believe you’re equal toothers, you can disagree openly, say ‘no”without flinching, and more often see theresults of your actions.

Styles Exercise:

Learning to identify effective and ineffectivecommunication styles can help you recognizethem in yourself. Read the statements belowand write in the style of communication eachrepresents. Then practice being assertive inyour everyday life: say what you mean, butspeak with respect for yourself and for others.If you need help learning this skill, considertaking an assertiveness training course.

1. “Do I have to do everything myself? I toldyou I needed that report by the end of theday.”

2. “No one ever pays attention to me. Do youthink it’s because I don’t have an outgoingpersonality?”

3. “I can understand why you want to go to theparty with your friends honey. But we didagree to make this a family night since it isyour mother’s birthday.”



4. “I can’t believe he’s treating me like this.How do I deep ending up with these guys whothing they’re God’s gift to women? Did I tellyou how his last relationship ended…?”

5. “I really think it’s time to disclose theproposed merger. Now, I know you disagree,so let’s talk about it some more.”

6. “Where did you learn how to drive, youidiot! Go take a remedial driving class!”

7. “Because I said so!”

8. “Oh, that’s okay. I don’t mind doing thedishes again. I know your favorite program ison. Did you like what I fixed for dinner?Honey…honey?”

9. “I’d like to talk with you about how I’mfeeling in this relationship. Is this a good timeto talk?”

You’ve begun to build some solid skills formanaging stress. Now erect some social andphysical buffers, or insulation, against stress.They won’t eliminate stress, but can help youbetter weather its effects. Creating a balance inyour life can cushion you against boredom,isolation, or lack of purpose, and improveyour self-esteem. Taking good care of yourbody can create better protection against thephysical assaults of stress.

Create a Balance In Your Life

Putting all your eggs in one basket is usually abig mistake. It only increases the strain onyou. But varying your activities and interesthelps fulfill your many needs for achievement,recognition, creative expression, andemotional support. And when one area of yourlife isn’t going well, you have other areas tofall back on.

Family and Friends

As “social animals,” we need to feel involvedwith others. Having strong connections withfamily and friends provides the kind of caringand support people need as an emotionalbuffer against hard times.

Personal Time

Everyone needs quiet time alone. Time foryourself allows you to reflect on yourrelationships, your career path, your financialstatus, your health, and the overall direction of



your life. But time alone isn’t just for seriousthoughts: have fun too.

Work

Work–inside and outside the home–provides asense of productivity and achievement mostpeople need to feel good about themselves.Participating in professional associations isone way to enhance the quality of your work.

Community Involvement

Pursuing a political cause or helping peoplewith special needs allows you to givesomething back to the community. Helpingothers may have a unique payoff: it may helpput your own life into perspective.

Spiritual Involvement

Whether you define it as belief in a higherpower, connection to the earth, or simply amoral consistency in what you think, feel, anddo, spiritually can provide a sense of meaningand purpose in your life.

When Work Takes Over

Work can be gratifying, and usually it’s afinancial necessity. But it can take over yourlife. If you’re pu tting all your eggs in thisbasket, take another look. You’re not working;your job is working you.

You can do this…

• Take breaks, get away from the workplaceduring your lunch hour, and don’t put offtaking your vacations.• Learn how to ask for help. When youdelegate, be sure to give up both theresponsibility and the authority for carryingout the task.• Take a time-management course. It mayhelp you learn how to prioritize better.

• Focus on the outcome of your work, not justthe task.

Building Blocks for De-stressing

Help build strong bodies four ways–withfitness, food, fun, and forty winks (or more).Stress is hard on your body, but you can buffersome of it’s effects by exercising, eatingnutritionally balanced meals, having fun forfun’s sake, and getting good rest.

Fitness

Aerobic exercise such as biking or joggingoffers many stress management benefits. Itreleases pleasure-pro ducing hormones,strengthens and relaxes muscles (much likeprogressive relaxation), and gives you moreenergy. The rhythmic quality of many types ofexercise, such as biking, walking, orswimming, also can produce a type ofmeditation in motion.

Food

Balanced meals provide the energy you needto meet the day’s physical and mentalchallenges. High-energy foods includecomplex carbohydrates, such as potatoes, rice,and whole-wheat bread, and fresh fruits andvegetables. Limit caffeine, a stimulant thatintensifies the stress response, and sugar,whose quick-energy fix backfires, making youmore tired.

Pets Keep You in the Pink

They purr, sing, hop, dance, or wag their ta ilswith unconditional joy. Who can resist thatanimal magnetism? Pets are often a savinggrace in the face of stress. In fact, they mayeven lower your blood pressure or decreaseyour number of doctor visits. They provideemotional benefits, too, often givingunconditional love. If you can’t have a pet of



you own, volunteer for someone who needshelp with one, or pay regular visits to a pettingzoo or pet store. You may find that caring forplants can provide many of the same benefits.

Fun

Don’t feel guilty about having fun. Just enjoyyourself. You can justify having fun for fun’ssake: it’s usually good for you. Diving, cardgames, gardening, puzzles, artwork, bowling,music–whatever you enjoy–can provide atremendous physical release. And creativeexpression–whether it’s artistic, musical, orathletic–can bolster your self-image too.

Forty Winks (or more)

To ensure good rest and revitalization, go tobed at a regular time each night, don’t drinkcaffeine or alcoholic beverages beforebedtime, and don’t exercise at the end of theday. When you can, take naps for quick,midday refreshers. And when under stress, getan extra hour of sleep at night.

Setting Realistic Goals

If you wanted to play the piano, you’d acceptthat some time and effort were required,wouldn’t you? Building stress managementskills also requires practice, so be realisticabout setting goals. To ensure success, make acommitment , try new techniques, andpractice, practice… and practice some more.Also, try the tips below for a more “polishedperformance.”

Commit to Change

Making changes in your stress habits is similarto making any other change: you have toreally want to do it. Commit to making achange. Don’t try to do everything all at once,though. Prioritize, focusing on those skills youwant to build first, and give yourself credit foreven the smallest of changes.

Try New Techniques

By now, you may know which stressmanagement techniques work best for you.But try a technique for at least a week beforegiving it up. It may take that long to getcomfortable with something new. For extrahelp on sharpening your technique, refer tothis workbook as needed, check out otherresources, or work with a mental healthprofessional.

Practice, Practice

As with building any skill, you need practiceto become proficient. Recognize that everyonelearns at a different rate, so give yourselfplenty of time to improve. And remember thatimprovement usually comes in spurts. Be asconsistent as you can, but don’t “beat yourselfup” if you miss a “practice session.” Thatundoubtedly will defeat your whole purpose!

Extra Tips

• Do at least on thing you enjoy every day.• When feeling stressed, close your eyes andslowly repeat a calming word or sound overand over again out loud to help quiet yourmind.• When your faced with a task you dread, getit over with early in the day.• If world events are interfering with yoursleep, avoid the news, especially at night.• Prepare for the next day by planningbreakfast, making lunch and ironing yourclothes the night before.• Keep duplicate house and car keys in yourwallet for those stressful times when you lockyourself out.



Stress Buster Exercise

Here’s a chance to practice solving stressfulproblems. For example, if your goal is to quitfeeling rushed on your way to work, you canprepare for work the night before or leave forwork 15 minutes earlier. Pretend you’re acontestant on a game shoe, and play thefollowing game, matching solutions to thestressful situations at the left. This game maygive you some ideas for handling your nextstressful day.

It was the worst of times…

That’s how it usually feels when you’ve had abad day. The situations below are typicalscenes from a day in the life of a stressed-out-person.

1. I can’t seem to get to work on time. It’s asthough my body is programmed to arrive 15minutes late, which always starts me off on thewrong foot.

2. I have an uncanny ability to choose theslowest moving lines at the grocery store,which put me on a slow burn all day.

3. My boss seems to think I’m WonderWoman. I don’t want to be uncooperative, butshe just keeps giving me more work. Whatshould I do?

4. There’s never enough time to do the thingsI want to do. But I can’t give up anything.

5. As I stood to make my presentation, mymind went blank and my eyes glazed over. AllI could see was my job going up in smoke.

6. Is it too much to ask? All I want is to leavethe house once without having to go on ascavenger hunt for my keys.

7. I’ve got a deadline tomorrow. I know I’mnot going to meet it. There’s a lot riding onthis. I don’t want to turn in a half-bakedproject, but I can’t get it done. Help!

8. Can you believe it? They just showed up onmy doorstep unannounced –and I didn’t haveone free minute to spare.

Select Your Solutions

It’s your turn to problem-solve. What wouldyou do in each of the situations? Rememberthat there may be more than one right answerfor each situation. Or, you may think of othersolutions altogether.

A) Buy an answering machine and let it pickup calls on evenings when you’re busy.

B) Be direct. Express your feelings. Come upwith some alternatives.

C) Turn back in this workbook and try thisexercise again!

D) Write your weekly goals in a notebook andcarry it with you. When you think ofsomething to add, jot it down. When youcomplete a task, cross it off your list.

E) Focus on what you can do to prepare

F) Put your alarm clock across the room soyou have to get out of bed on time.

G) Give yourself enough time betweenappointments. If you think something will take2 hours, allow an extra 30 minutes.

H) Try deep breathing, visualization, or astretching exercise.

I) Organize your house and office so thateverything has a logical place.

J) Always keep reading material with you soyou never feel as though you’re waiting time.

K) Plan ahead. Don’t wait until your gas tankis on reserve, your stamps have run out, oryour deadline is one day away.

L) Light some candles, put on some softmusic, and take a hot bath.



Harmony and Rhythm



Harmony and Rhythm

This principle is strikingly illustrated byplacing a handful of iron filings on a thin sheetof metal and playing a certain musical notenear the sheet. Wondrously, the filings arrangethemselves into a pattern. Change the musicalnote and the filings rearrange themselves intoanother pattern. Every sound has itsvibrational pattern, and the visible filingsdemonstrate the invisible pattern of the sound.

Our thoughts are like the sound, and thecircumstances in life are like the iron filings.The filings have no volition or will of theirown. They simply fall into the vibrationalpattern of the sound. In the same way,automobiles, money, food, jobs, andrelationships have no particular will of theirown. Their nature is to follow the direction ofthe waves of thoughts that we radiate.

Some say, “Look what I created!” Anotherway that could be said might be. “Look what Iattracted!” The word circumstance neatlydepicts the process: circum means around;stance means stand. Circumstances are theconditions that stand around us, magnetized tous by the central core of our thought-forms.Change the thoughts at the center of theenergy field, and we change the conditionsthat stand around us.

There is a basic rhythm to all God’s creations- including us. We notice it when we are quietenough to listen. Each of us has a naturalrhythm. Life is simple when we hear, feel, andfollow in harmony and rhythm. Meditationand visualization improve the ability to hear,feel, and become more sensitive to our innerself and the world around us. As we practicebeing quiet, the inner self teaches us and wewill see that miracles are natural expressionsof love.

Often a piece of music is called beautifulbecause of the interplay and harmonious

synchronization of the notes. In fact, somemusic (such as Baroque) can actually programor format a person’s brain to facilitatelearning. This harmonious interplay extendsbeyond music for our ears. The infiniteintelligence of the universe is behind therhythm and harmony we need in our life. Aswe become more practiced in using theseprinciples, we realize the natural guidance isalways there for us, forming a life into adivine pattern.

To increase our harmony and rhythm we canincrease our understanding of the informationwe receive from our five basic senses: touch,sight, taste, hearing and smell. Then we canbecome more aware of our other senses, suchas intuition and awareness of energy . Whenwe are in harmony with these principles wedraw upon the powers of nature or heaven. Weare aware that all is in harmony; that all thingswork together for our good. When we react toanger, confusion, anxiety, or fear in anotherperson, we encourage the other person tobelieve he is presenting the truth. Anotherresponse is to disregard the illusion the otherperson is expressing and see him as perfectand joyful.

We occasionally fall into the temptation toperceive ourselves as unfairly treated. We canbe treated unfairly only by ourselves. We areonly victims of the world, if we think we are.Rather than what others or the world do to us,it is what we believe they have done to us, orwhat we believe we have done to ourselvesthat make up our problems. Deprivation is thefeeling we experience when we feel we areisolated or separate. We then project blame,anger. hate to others. They pick up the signaland play a part for us so we can feel that ouranger, hate, or sadness is justified . This signalis a vibration we radiate in our energy field.It’s a little like a call to others to come and



play with us (something akin to “choosing upsides” in basketball or some other team sport).The signals we emit are received, processed,and reacted upon by those seeking that signal;they are tuned in to our broadcast, ourvibration.

This ability to draw conditions to us hastremendous practical implications. It meanswe can use our thoughts to create the life wewant. It means that we can really change forthe better. It means that things no longer havepower over us, for we realize that they are justthe manifestations of our thoughts, andnothing more. They are thought forms reactingto the signals we project.

The principle of Harmony and Rhythm isperhaps best expressed in the magic of music!Music is a powerful influence in our dailylives. There are three basic ingredients ofmusic: melody, harmony and rhythm. Melodyand harmony are universal in nature. The solarsystem maintains its order because of thevibrations of each individual planet. Theycomprise a chord of music which is unique toour place in space.

Rhythm belongs to the earth. It is the methodwhereby a song is broken up into measuresand notes are assigned different values oftime. It is the rhythm or beat of a song whichinvoluntarily sets your toe to tapping. It is theingredient of time.

There is another ingredient of music which isabsent in some music. When it is present, itchanges lives. Even plants and animalsrespond to it! What is this fourth ingredient? Itis LOVE! When music contains this element,it performs miracles! It sets into motionnatural forces which begin a tumbler-likeaction, a turning of the tide in the lives ofpeople.

Research into the science of sound, orvibration, helps us understand that creatingmusic requires the interaction between theright and left brain. In a very real sense, music

transcends the mind and goes directly into theheart!

Music is an integral part of RET processing aswell as the cognitive work. It can be apowerful way to access the ability to feel inclients who have endured so much pain thatthey have dissociated from life and become“past feeling.”

While listening to music can penetrate eventhe hardest heart, the activity of creatingmusic, expressing oneself through music,develops a person’s ability to organizecreative thoughts and to express themeffectively. It doesn’t seem to matter whetherthat creation of music is in the form ofhumming a tune or in performing in a concert.Feeling will happen!

Researchers have studied Baroque music todiscover why it is so powerful in assisting inlearning. The combinations of notes, and thepatterns of the music create order in the brainin much the same way a computer formats adiskette to implant a grid or map which willallow information to be stored in a locationwhere the computer will know precisely whereto go to retrieve it.

Why is order so important? To create is toorganize that which is unorganized. There isno judgment between order or chaos, both arenecessary to the process of growth andcreativity. To make use of the information weaccumulate throughout our lives, we need tobe able to retrieve it. If there is no order, no

system for storing and retrieving thatinformation, it is much like a file cabinet withno separate folders, just piles of stuff. Weknow it’s in there, yet we aren’t able to find it.

People with Alzheimer’s disease are losingthis grid pattern, this map for how to store andretrieve information. Remarkable results arebeing achieved with Alzheimer’s patientsthrough the use of music technology.

An interesting phenomenon is occurring. The



elements of the earth, the minds and hearts ofthe people on the planet are beginning topolarize. There is a gathering of order, agathering of those who follow the principleswhich created our universe. There aremultitudes of people making a choice fororder.

What is left is chaos; that which is in conflictwith order. Each person is responsible to makeconscious choices about the level of vibrationswhich influence them.

When all our levels are in alignment (physical,emotional, mental and spiritual), we are intune. We will feel in alignment with theuniverse and the principle of harmony andrhythm. We have once again aligned with theone song.

“You are apart of the universe, no less thanthe stars and trees, and you have a right to behere. And whether it is clear to you or not, nodoubt he universe is unfolding as itshould...”. --Desiderata

We are part of the universe and our lives aregoverned by he same laws that govern the restof the cosmos. We need to keep a balance asdoes the rest of nature. We take time to growand time to heal. Our lives will always movein cycles because that is the universal law. Weneed time to rest and recuperate, as do allother living things.

TAKING TIME

Nature always takes her time. Great oaks don’tbecome great overnight. They also lose a lotof leaves, branches and bark in the process ofbecoming great . Diamonds aren’t formed in aweek either. Everything of value, of beauty, ofmajesty in the universe took time to becomeso.

So it will be with our own growth anddevelopment. Let us recognize the way thingswork down here, and so be gentler on

ourselves when assessing our own progress. Ittakes time to build confidence, to build ahealthy body or a positive outlook. It takestime to build a business of value or to createour own financial independence. In the realwor ld there are very few instant, overnightsuccesses. Inner work is a life-style.

CYCLES

As sure as the earth revolves around the sunand winter follows the spring, so must our lifemove in cycles. So there will always be easytimes and there will be hard times, as sure asone season follows another. One of the greatchallenges of life is dealing with the winterwhile you are waiting for things to et better.Things will get better. They always do. Thetrouble is hat many people give up and gohome too early. The tide will always turn.

REST

Nature has a rest from time to time. The soilneeds a rest, bears and snakes hibernate; evenfish sleep with their eyes open. We can learnfrom this approach. We need to take time out;to rest, to review, to ponder, to be.

If you decide that you are indispensable andthat you must always have your nose to thegrindstone, then you can live your life likethat. Your belief that you can never rest willbe your reality until such time as you decidedifferently.

When we do make rest a part of our life-style,like the soil we become so much moreproductive when we work. Having said this, Ibelieve that as humans we are engineered forenterprise and activity.

Relax and Let Go

Have you noticed what happens when you aretrying really, really hard to remember



something or to hit a baseball just right orsolve a problem? Invariably, you don’t get theresults you want.

In their search for ideas and solutions toproblems, most people note that they havetheir greatest success while they are engagedin activities where they are naturally relaxed.Hence they have their brain gems in theshower, in the bath, in bed, in the toilet: placeswhere we relax easily.

To understand the scientific angle, when werelax, our brain rhythms move into a slowermode-- the alpha mode--where we are far moreable and creative. Results come easily. Whenyou step into a warm shower, you naturallyrelax. In bed, the same happens; and so youwill find you get ideas in bed! You can bevery creative in the bedroom. You are open toideas in the toilet, because you have to relax inthere just to get the job done!

Of course, physical relaxation is equallyimportant for peak performance. As we relaxour physical body, our whole metabolismcomes into balance; our blood pressure drops,our breathing becomes deep and easy, and theorgans in our system work harmoniously.

On a broader scale, the same picture emerges.We get the best results in our lie when we areprepared to go with the flow. This meansfinding the delicate and elusive balancebetween effort and relaxation, betweenattachment and letting go. It is no simple thingto achieve!

Again, we can take our lead from nature. Thebirds and the animals work, but they don’twork day and night. Even the soil needs a restevery so often. That one gets us into troubletoo! We plant beans on the same plot fortwenty three consecutive years, we cram theearth with chemicals to keep them popping up,and wonder why the beans taste worse thanthe fertilizer . Everything needs a rest.Everything takes time to regenerate, to havean ebb and flow.

Benjamin Hoff wrote a wonderful book, “TheTao of Pooh, “ in which he expounds theEastern philosophy of “Tao”, as intuitivelyapplied by Pooh, the all time favorite “bear oflittle brain”. He suggests that we can learnmuch from Winnie the Pooh’s easy, accepting,uncomplicated philosophy--“while Eyeorefrets, and Pig let hesit ates and Owlpontificates... Pooh just IS.”

Hoff writes: “When we learn to work with ourown Inner Nature, and with the natural lawsoperating around us, we reach the level of WuWei. Then we work with the natural order ofthings and operate on the principle of minimaleffort. Since the natural world follows thatprinciple, it does not make mistakes. Mistakesare made--or imagined-- by man, the creaturewith the overloaded Brain who separateshimself from the supporting network ofnatural laws by interfering and trying toohard.”

We love Pooh because he doesn’t try too hard.He lives in the present moment. He just is.



Assess Your Priorities

Here’s an opportunity to see how well you’rebalancing the priorities in your life. First, seehow much energy you’re currently putting intoeach of the major areas of your life. Using thekey below, decide whether you’re making it alow, moderate , or high priority. Next, assesseach area’s true level of importance to you.Using the key again, decide whether you wantto make it a low, moderate, or high prio rity.Remember, your priorities may change.

KEY

Low = L

Moderate = M

High = H

Major Priorities EnergySpent

Level ofImportance

Family

Friends

Significant Other

Time alone

Recreation

Exercise

Hobbies

Work

Volunteeractivities

Spiritualinvolvement

Make an Action Plan

Unfor tunately, the urgent often overwhelmsthe important in our lives, much as thesqueaky wheel gets the grease. The lastexercise may have revealed a differencebetween the amount o f ener gy you’recurrently putting into certain priorities and theamount you’d like to devote. Your mission,should you choose to accept it, is to changethat pattern where you can. Pick three areasyou’d like to improve and list some goals.Then rank those goals in order of mostimportant to least important to help you knowwhere to start.

Areas toImprove

List Goals Rank Goals

1.

2.

3.




(1) What aspects of your life flow inharmony?

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

(2) What aspects of your life are out ofharmony?

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

(3) How could you br ing these aspects of yourlife into a harmony and rhythm that works foryou?

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Choice brings freedom...



Journey Drumming

Why is it that indigenous cultures rely soheavily upon drumming? Virtually everyAmerican Indian tribe, nearly all Africantribes, most South American Indian groups,and the Australian Aborigines includedrumming in their most sacred ceremonies.Even in modern Western society the drum isimportant in music. It seems to do more thanhold the beat of the tune. It is as though it getsinto our very being. We feel the beat.Indigenous cultures utilize the drum to enteraltered states of consciousness (ASC) in orderto do work of a spiritual nature. Is theresomething in this drumming that can be usedby the technician? Could this be a tooloverlooked because of its origin in “lesser”cultures?

Melinda C. Maxfield, Ph.D., in her 1984doctoral dissertation, Effects of RhythmicDrumming on EEG and S ubje ctiveExperience, introduces us to The Journey ofthe Drum. Journey drumming consists of aregular drum beat of a pattern that duplicates acertain brain wave frequency. The brain wavessought for are:

Delta waves at 4 Hz or 4 beats per second.This wave is associated with sleep orunconsciousness.

Theta waves at 4 to 8 Hz or 4 - 8 beats persecond (a fast drum beat) are associated withstates of reverie and hypnogogic dreamlikeimagery.

Alpha waves at 8 to 13 Hz or 8 - 13 beats persecond are associated with states of relaxationand general well-be ing. Alpha generallyappears in the occipital region of the brain (thevisual cortex) when the eyes are closed.Consciousness is alert and unfocused, orfocused on the interior world. It is the world ofRET.

Beta waves at 13 Hz or higher are associatedwith active attention and focus on the exterior

world. It is also present during states oftension, anxiety, fear and alarm.

Research has confirmed that such spiritualpractices as yoga and meditation producechanges in the electrical activity of the brain,leading to an increase in alpha and thetarhythms. Theta is found to be a characteristicbrain wave pattern of long-term meditators.Further, shamanic drumming, in the majorityof cases, consists of a steady, monotonousbeat of 3 to 5 beats per second, or at thefrequency of theta waves.

Dr. Maxfield’s research supports the theoriessuggesting the use of the drum by indigenouscultures in ritual and ceremony has specificneurophysiological effects. Drumming has theability to elicit temporary changes in brainwave activity. Thereby facilitating imageryand possible entry into an ASC especially theShamanic State of Consciousness (SSC). Hereare her subjective results:

A pattern that incorporates approximately 4 to5 beats per second is the most inducting fortheta gain.

Drumm ing in general, and rhythmicdrumming in particular, often induces imagerythat is ceremonial and ritualistic in content andis an effective tool for entering into a non-ordinary or even when it is extracted fromcultural ritual, ceremony, and intent.

The pattern of the drumbeat as it relates tobeats per second can be correlated withresulting temporary changes in brain wavefrequency and/or subjective experience,provided the drumming pattern is sustained forat least 13-15 minutes.

The drumming also elicits subjectiveexperiences and images with common themes:

a) Loss of Time Continuum

b) Movement Sensations:



i) body parts pulsating or expanding

ii) pressure on the body or parts of thebody

iii) energy moving in waves throughthe body

iv) sensations of flying, spiraling,dancing, running, etc.

c) Energized

d) Temperature Fluctuations (Cold/Hot)

e) Relaxed, Sharp/Clear

f) Discomfort (emotionally or physically)

g) Out-of-Body Experiences or Visitations

h) Images:

i) Vivid Imagery

ii) Images of Natives

iii) Images of Animals/Landscapes

iv) Images of people: past, faceless,teachers, nonnative drummers, etc.

v) Images of a journey

vi) Non-Ordinary or Altered States ofConsciousness (ASC)



Listening

Many years ago, a wise king set out to teach his son, the crown prince, the wisdom necessary for himto become a great ruler. To do this, the king thought to send the prince to the forest alone for oneyear. The instructions the wise father gave the son were to return to him in exactly one year anddescribe the sounds of the forest.

The dutiful son did as his father bade him. He went to the forest and listened for all the sounds hecould hear. He returned in one year and happily told his father what he had heard: leaves rustling inthe wind, leaves falling to the ear th, birds singing, bees buzzing, insects whirling and chirping, smalland large animals coming and going, waters gurgling up from crevices in rocks.

But the king was not pleased. He frowned and admonished his beloved son to go back to the forestand listen some more, and when he had discerned the true sounds of the forest to return home againto report his observations. So the boy went back to the forest.

He sat alone beside huge trees and lay in the forest grasses, pondering his apparent lack ofunderstanding. After many days and nights, the prince began to sense a strange awareness about him.He knew that at last he could return to his father with honor.

So the young boy ran home, bursting with the excitement of his new learning. He came to his fatherand reported that finally he had heard the leaves of the trees awakening in the morning dew, thesound of the woodland flowers opening and closing, the clamor of ear th as it bared itself to thewarming rays of the noonday sun, the heartbeats of a thousand animals and birds. His father waspleased.

“My son,” said the king, “to hear the unhearable is one’s best discipline for being a great leader. Thebest rulers must truly hear unspoken joys and pains of their people. It is easy to hear the obvious andthe superficial, but great kingdoms are built only by hearing the secret sounds of those around you.You have learned well the wisdom of the forest for your lifelong journey.”

When we all become quiet enough and listen to our spirits - we will know ourselves and ourjourneys. Rapid Eye and the Life Skills, if done with a desire to heal, can change our lives and bringus to the pure love of the Christ Energy that heals us on all levels. We love you…



READING LIST

THOUGHT

Rapid Eye Technology by Johnson

You Can Have it All by Patten

Conversations with God by Richard Neal

Goodbye to Guilt by Jampalski

You Can Heal Your Life by Hay

PERCEPTION

Instant Rapport by Brooks

The Four Fold Way by

The Results Book by Minto

Love is Letting Go of Fear by Jampalski

The Road Less Traveled by Peck

CHOICE & ACCOUNTABILITY

The Healing Power of Humor by Clein

You’ll See It When You Believe It by Dyer

Real Magic by Dyer

Winter’s Flower by Johnson

Homecoming by Bradshaw

CAUSE & EFFECT

Babies Remember their birth by Chamberlin

Ageless Body Timeless Mind by Chopra

Quantum Healing by Chopra

Creative Imagery by Fezzler

Birth and Relationships by Ray

ABUNDANCE & GRATITUDE

The Celestine Prophecy by Redfield

Return to Love by Mary Ann Williams

The Power of Unconditional Love by Keyes

HEALTH & HEALING

BodyMind Workbook by Shapiro

Hands of Light by Brennan

Light Emerging by Brennan

Light The Medicine of the Future byLiberman

Eye and Brain by Gregroy

HARMONY & RHYTHM

The Seven Spiritual Laws by Chopra

The Wizard Within by Chopra

Merlin by Chopra



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Perception

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Covey, Stephen R. The Seven Habits of High lyEffective People.

Morgan, Marlo. Mutant Message DownUnder.

Patent, Arnold M. You Can Have it All.

Robbins, Anthony. Unlimited Power.

Sacks, Oliver. Awakenings.

Truman, Karol Kuhn. Feelings Buried AliveNever Die.

Choice and Accountability

Sears, Enter The Zone.

Hay, Louise L. The Power is Within You

Jampalski, Goodbye to Guilt.

Jampalski, Love is Letting Go of Fear.

Johnson, Ranae, Winter’s Flower

Course in Miracles, Accept This Gift.

Cause and Effect

Brooks, Instant Rapport.

Brennan, Barbara Ann. Hands of Light.

Capacchione, Lucia. Recovery of Your InnerChild.

Eadie, Bettt. Embraced by the Light.

Eden, Donna, Energy Medicine

Kelder, Peter. Fountain of Youth


Chopra, Deepak. Ageless Body, Timeless Mind

Pattent, Arnold, You Can Have it All

Pattent, Arnold, Money and Beyond

Robyns, Anthony, Awaken the Giant within.

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Health and Healing

Chopra, Deepak. Perfect Health.

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Lawlor, Robert. Sacred Geometry.

McWilliams, John-Roger & Peter. You Can’tAfford The Luxury of a Negative Thought.

Harmony and Rhythm

Ballam, Michael. Building A Musical First AidKit.



Bennette, Joseph, Holographic Cookbook

Chopra, Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.

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Horan, Paula, Empowerment through Reiki

Krieger, The Therapeutic Touch

Spalding, Baird, Life & Teaching of theMasters of the Far East (5 volumes)

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13111967 rapid eye movement workbook

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