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DaleCarnegieBlog>DailyDoseofConfidence,HRIssueTips...>12TipsforNegotiatingandCompromisingwithDifficultPeople

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12TipsforNegotiatingandCompromisingwithDifficultPeoplebyCaug124

Negotiatingistheprocessofattemptingtoagreeonasolution.Compromising,orsettlingonamutuallyagreeablesolution,istheresultofsuccessfulnegotiations.Compromiseisallaboutbeingflexible.Itmeansbeingabletogeneratealternatesolutionswhenyouvehitthewall.Whetheritinvolvesapersonyoucantgetalongwith,anideayouknowwillworkbutthatothersarereluctanttoagreeto,achangeinofficesystems,oraturfwarthatneedsending,learningtonegotiateandcompromiseisessentialtoyoursuccess.

1.Haveapositiveattitude.Yourattitudeisessentialtotheoutcome.Youhaveamuchbetterchanceofcomingtoanoutcomeinvolvingmutualgainsifyouapproachthenegotiationasanopportunitytolearnandachieveawinwinoutcome.

2.Meetonmutualground.Findamutuallyagreeableandconvenientphysicalspacetomeetthatiscomfortableforallinvolved.Agreeonwhenyouwillmeetandhowmuchtimeisavailabletodevotetotheprocess.Wheneverpossible,dealwithnegotiationsfacetoface.Becarefulaboutusingthephoneandemail.Alackoffacialexpressions,vocalintonation,andothercuescanresultinanegotiationbreakdown.

3.Clearlydefineandagreeontheissue.Agreeonthestatementoftheissueusingsimpleandfactualterms.Ifthesituationismultifaceted,searchforwaystoslicethelargeissueintosmallerpiecesanddealwithoneissueat

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4.Doyourhomework.Taketimetoplan.Youmustnotonlyknowwhatisatstakeforyourself,butyouneedtoknowtheothersidesconcernsandmotivation.Takeintoconsiderationanyhistoryorpastsituationsthatmightaffectthenegotiations.Knowthemusthaves(nonnegotiableitems)andnicetohaves(negotiableitems).Determinethebestresolution,afairandreasonabledeal,andaminimallyacceptabledeal.

5.Takeanhonestinventoryofyourself.Determinetheleveloftrustyouhaveintheotherpersonandtheprocess.Beconsciousofaspectsofyourpersonalitythatcanhelporhindertheprocess.

6.Lookforsharedinterests.Getonthesamesidebyfindingandestablishingsimilarities.Sinceconflicttendstomagnifyperceiveddifferencesandminimizesimilarities,lookforcommongoals,objectives,orevengripesthatcanillustratethatyouareinthistogether.Focusonthefuture,talkaboutwhatistobedone,andtackletheproblemjointly.

7.Dealwithfacts,notemotions.Addressproblems,notpersonalities.Avoidanytendencytoattacktheotherpersonortopassjudgmentonhisorherideasandopinions.Avoidfocusingonthepastorblamingtheotherperson.Maintainarational,goalorientedframeofmind.Thiswilldepersonalizetheconflict,separatetheissuesfromthepeopleinvolved,andavoiddefensiveness.

8.Behonest.Dontplaygames.Behonestandclearaboutwhatisimportanttoyou.Itisequallyimportanttobeclearandtocommunicatewhyyourgoals,issues,andobjectivesareimportanttoyou.

9.Presentalternativesandprovideevidence.Createoptionsandalternativesthatdemonstrateyourwillingnesstocompromise.Considerconcedinginareasthatmighthavehighvaluetotheotherpersonbutarenotthatimportanttoyou.Frameoptionsintermsoftheotherpersonsinterestsandprovideevidenceforyourpointofview.

10.Beanexpertcommunicator.Nothingshowsdeterminationtofindamutuallysatisfactoryresolutiontoconflictmorethanapplyingexcellentcommunicationskills.Askquestions,listen,rephrasewhatyouheardtocheckforunderstanding,andtakeagenuineinterestintheothersidesconcerns.Reducetensionthroughhumor,lettheothervent,andacknowledgetheothersviews.Focuslessonyourpositionandmoreonwaysinwhichyoucanmovetowardaresolutionorcompromise.

11.Endonagoodnote.Developawinwinproposalandchecktomakesurethateveryoneinvolvedleavesthesituationfeelingtheyhavewon.Shakeonitandagreeontheactionsteps,whoisresponsibleforeachstep,howsuccesswillbemeasured,andhowandwhenthedecisionwillbeevaluated.Beopentoreachinganimpassefornoncriticalissuesyoucanagreetodisagreeonminorissues.

12.Enjoytheprocess.Lookatthebenefitsoflearningotherpointsofview.Peoplereportthatafterovercomingconflictandreachinganagreement,therelationshipgrewevenstronger.Reflectandlearnfromeachnegotiation.Determinethecriteriatoevaluatetheprocessandthesolution.

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GuyFarmer/June14,2010at10:39amGreatideas.Ivefoundithelpfulaswelltoworkondeepercommunicationandbuildingrelationships.Deepercommunicationisaboutpeoplebeingabletotelltheirstorywithoutanyoutsideinterference.Whenpeoplefeelheardithasasoothingeffect.Buildingrelationshipshelpspeopleconnectwitheachotherandcanbeaccomplishedbysettingupandenvironmentwherepeopleareencouragedtoengageinakindandwelcomingmannerratherthanasadversaries.Italsohelpsifleadersaretrainedinhowtodiffuseconflictratherthanperpetuateoraddtoit.

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