10-step guided training program companion guide · 10-step guided training program companion guide...

1 0 - S t e p G u i d e d t r a i n i n G p r o G r a mC o m p a n i o n G u i d e

■ Step-by-step techniques to manage stress and increase wellness

■ Tips, expanded information and journal questions to increase your learning and more completely integrate these lessons into your daily life

■ Tools to help you customize your own practice

FeaTuring:

Thich NhaT haNhPema chodroNJoN KabiT-ZiNN

& oTher leading wellneSS experTS

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we would like To expreSS our deepeST graTiTude To each oF The generouS and compaSSionaTe auThorS, arTiSTS and adviSorS who

helped uS in The developmenT oF relaxing rhyThmS 2.

T h i c h N h a T h a N h

J o N K a b a T - Z i N N

P e m a c h o d r o N

a d y a s h a N T i

r i c K h a N s o N

G a N G a J i

s h i N Z e N y o u N G

J o N a T h a N F o u s T

& s a l l y K e m P T o N

Their word comeS direcTly From The hearT and will provide you wiTh hourS oF inSpiraTion and moTivaTion aS you head down The paTh

Toward greaTer balance, peace and happineSS in your liFe.

alSo deep ThankS To our FriendS aT SoundS True wiThouT whom ThiS program could noT have happened aS iT haS.

published by wild divine, inc.po box 61072

boulder city, nv 89006copyright © 2015 wild divine, inc.

all rights reserved.

printed in the uS.

taBLe oF ContentS

welcome 4

mind-body Training 5

Step 1 Finding your breaTh 10

Step 2 mindFul breaThing 14

Step 3 leTTing go oF conTrol 17

Step 4 diScover your idenTiTy 20

Step 5 exploring your belieFS 23

Step 6 releaSe your worrieS 26

Step 7 SoFTen your hearT 29

Step 8 Forgiving yourSelF 32

Step 9 living a compaSSionaTe liFe 35

Step 10 awaken To your True naTure 38

WeLCome!we’re glad you’ve decided to take this journey with us. Together, we’ll be taking

an expedition through your heart and mind, to help you effectively choose hap-

piness. each step is designed to bring you closer to living the life you deserve –

one filled with joy, love and happiness.

In this journey, the first step is finding a way within. You begin by becoming

aware of the rhythms of your mind and body. as you progress, you’ll venture

deeper and explore the emotions that allow you to expand your boundaries

and grow fully into a peaceful state of being. worries, fears or other emotions,

which may have held you back, surface only to be let go. once you release what

no longer serves you, then you’ll move into the realm of life as it’s meant to be –

a life lived fully and filled with confidence, awakening and increased relaxation.

The way forward may seem uncertain at times. but if you can commit to spend-

ing time on yourself each day, you will look back and see you’ve come a great

distance. You will find yourself transformed from being uncertain - to one who

knows. And you’ll find you’re able to easily integrate this new relaxing rhythm

into your daily life.

How to USe tHiS GUide

We designed this Companion Guide for the relaxing rhythms 2 program so that you could cus-

tomize it to your own needs and personal style of learning. You can read it through once to get

the lay of the land, or read each section as you work your way through. return to it as needed for

additional ways to enhance your journey. included are several thought-inspiring Journal questions

for each of the ten lessons to help deepen and personalize your learning.

it’s especially important to say that your needs and journey will be individual. take what works

for you, and leave what doesn’t. What matters most is that you use this program to enrich and

expand your awareness, while deepening your sense of calm and peace.

there is no “wrong” or “right” way to approach these lessons- simply begin and adjust as you go.

You’ll be amazed at how simply tuning into the body and its rhythms can bring about a significantly

increased sense of health and well-being.

W h a t i s m i n d - b o d y T r a i n i n g ?

the concept of mind/body wellness springs from the widely held belief that your mental, emo-

tional, and spiritual self are not separate from your physical, flesh-and-blood self. They are all

deeply interconnected on levels you may not even be aware of yet.

While we may more easily accept the idea that physical pain can have emotional repercussions,

the reverse is also true: emotional disturbances can, and most likely will, have an impact on our

physical state. For example, have you ever ended up with a cold during a time of acute stress?

in this holistic philosophy, all components of the “self” are considered— it says that we are more

than what we think, what we feel, or what happens to us physically—that the “self” is the sum of

all of these components woven together.

HoW to uSe tHiS Guide 5

h o w t o a c h i e v e i t

the more attention and awareness you bring to what’s going on inside and around you, the less

likely you are to be driven by unconscious habits and thought patterns that may have a negative

impact on your physical and mental health. one easy way to begin to cultivate this connection

between mind and body is to bring yourself back to your physical self through “breathwork” and

meditative relaxation. the simple act of being aware of your breath or energy level on a daily basis

can have a considerable impact on how you think, feel, and act. in fact, with regular practice, you

may find you are less susceptible to stress, fatigue, and illness. The lessons in this program will

show you a range of different ways to strengthen your mind/body connection—and thus, your

overall health and well-being.

WHat iS Meditation

the age-old practice of meditation is an integral part of many traditions, both religious and non-re-

ligious. While there are thousands of different ways to meditate, at the core of each is the practice

of focusing and quieting the mind so that we can uncover and re-experience the eternal quiet and

deep wisdom within each of us. In this day and age, our busy lives are filled with so much sound,

movement, and activity that meditation is essential to help us go within, tune out the distractions,

and reconnect with our authentic self.

You don’t need any special training, religious background, or prior knowledge of meditation to

experience its benefits in your life. Everything you need to know you’ll learn right here. Sometimes

people who are new to meditation wonder if there’s some secret or trick to it, or if they’re doing

it right. the goal is not to do it right, but to do it regularly—because it’s with consistency that the

unlimited benefits of meditation are discovered.

6 relaxing rhythms 2

WHat iS BreatHwork

it’s been said that the breath is the link between the physical and spiritual. the simple act of tuning

in to your breath can have a profound effect on your mind and body; it can alter your brainwaves,

lower your blood pressure, and slow your heart rate.

Breath is also a vital tool in meditation. Paying attention to the natural in-and-out flow of each

breath gives your mind a place to return to and focus your awareness.

In this program you will learn different breathing techniques to help you relax your mind, release

physical tension, and create a sense of calm. By engaging in even just a few minutes of conscious

breathing, you help undo and even prevent the negative effects that stress can have on your

health. if you leave this program only having learned how to use your breath to experience a few

minutes of rich and utter quiet, you will have given yourself an invaluable gift to use for the rest

of your life.

WHat iS BiofeedBack

Biofeedback technology uses sophisticated electronic equipment to measure and monitor

changes in your internal physiological states. The measurements offer insight into what’s going

on energetically in your body, and provide a platform on which you can make positive changes to

your mental, physical and emotional states.

though biofeedback is usually done in conjunction with a professional biofeedback therapist, the

relaxing rhythms 2 program from Wild divine is designed so that you can take advantage of this

HoW to uSe tHiS Guide 7

effective technology on your own. Many biofeedback therapists have endorsed the Wild Divine

programs because they believe they provide powerful and effective ways to experience first-hand,

the connection between your mind and body. they also believe the knowledge that stems from

that experience can improve your overall sense of well-being.

T h e b i o f e e d b a c k i n W i l d d i v i n e

the biofeedback hardware from Wild divine, when plugged into your computer, allows you to

interact with the software. You will be able to witness the positive

effects of the practices taught in this program as they are dis-

played in different ways to you on the screen.

the heart rate signals taken from the iompro, iompe or Lightstone,

are then transferred into the program. With each inhalation of

breath your heart rate slightly increases and with each exhalation

it slightly decreases. So if you were to chart your heart rate onto a

graph, as you breathe in and out a sine wave pattern would begin

to form. now, the length of time for each breath cycle is what

the program measures. When you have those points at an equal

length of time, for example, of 10 seconds between each breath

cycle, you form a pattern of breathing called Coherence. this is

commonly referred to as the most stabilizing frequency and is

the source of many positive changes in the body. Coherence is

also the best tool for recovery from stress and creating a happier

mind and body. meditation tends to quiet the busy mind and body and helps produce that state

of Coherence.

in the relaxing rhythms 2 program are biofeedback Events. each event is meant to give you a dif-

ferent sort of training experience through a visual game format. Based upon the level of Coherence

difficulty measurement, as you breathe, relax and lower your heart rate, you will experience a change


or event onscreen in response to those same signals. in this way, the game becomes your per-

sonal coach to aid you in your efforts to meditate and restore your peace of mind.

any additional Frequently asked Questions or technical support for the relaxing rhythms

2 program or the Wild divine feedback hardware can be found at our support portal here:

http://support.wilddivine.com

W h a t y o u W i l l l e a r n

As you use the different programs from Wild Divine you may find some activities more challeng-

ing, while others will come naturally to you - this is normal. as you learn to control your energy

and state of mind, you may experience an internal shift – an “a-ha” experience where you’ll just

intuitively know how to do things. You’ll develop a natural sense of when to breathe more slowly

and deeply, or how to connect with a positive emotion. remember, the most important tools

you will take away from the Wild divine programs are not just those you use when seated at your

computer, but those that you take with you into your everyday life.

How to use this Guide 9

Step 1

FindinG Your BreatH

Our breathing has been automatic, since the first gasp of air we took at our moment of birth into

this world. So why now, are we suggesting it’s something that needs to be found? Because breath

is the life force that moves through us unceasingly, it’s one of the most amazing parts of life we

take for granted. Have you ever really noticed how often you breathe, how deeply you breathe

or where the initial breath begins? Some of us breathe from the belly, others from the chest, still

others almost from the throat. This is what is meant by ‘finding your breath.”

Finding your breath is a lesson in concentration. We begin by focusing on the ins and outs of the

breath and gain an intimate awareness of our breathing patterns. once we can identify the how

and where we can overlay that focus into the rest of our lives. everyday occurrences we may have

taken for granted, become more important. as we develop our awareness of how each breath

affects us, we may develop a deeper awareness of how certain people affect us.


N o T i c e W h e r e y o u r b r e a T h c o m e s F r o m

in everyday life, whenever we are fearful or stressed, our breath rate tends to quicken and each

breath we take gets more shallow. each quick intake of air coming from somewhere in the chest

area. Yet, watch a person deeply

asleep and notice how the breath

comes from a far deeper place. not

only are the inhalations stronger,

but each breath lasts longer than

they do when they are awake.

How can the rhythm of breath affect

our lives? What if, in a stressful sit-

uation, the first thing you did was

slow your breathing – take deeper,

longer breaths? Would it be possible

to reduce the stress of that situa-

tion? Can you change your breathing

pattern, make it more like a person

who is asleep to relieve the stress?

Scholars, teachers and meditators

say ‘yes’.

next we focus on where the breath goes and what sensations we feel as it reaches its destination.

as we use a laser like focus on the breath, we notice the usual pattern of distracting thoughts that

regularly cross our minds, begin to dissipate. We don’t have time to worry about the past or the

FindinG Your BreatH 11

future. the only thing important is the

steady in and out of our breath in this

moment right here and right now.

W h a T y o u W i l l l e a r N

achieving that focus is the reason for

meditation. in this step, these exercises

are meant to observe your breath and

become more aware of it. With deep,

rhythmic breaths, we go within, leave

the outside world behind, and stay

totally present in the here and now.

Breath is the entryway to your highest,

most profound self – the remarkable

being you were destined to be.

■ Where do your breaths originate? Belly, chest, throat…

■ What is your pattern of breathing when you are

peaceful and happy?

Journal QueSTionS


F e e d b a c k e v e n t : P a s s a g e w a y

in this opening feedback event, you will work with the breathing techniques you have learned to

open the passageway doors.

using a slow, relaxing, regular breathing pattern, concentrate on seeking the knowledge of the

world as it really is. Once fully open to the vast world of infinite possibilities, gaze into the blue

wonder, and allow your intuition to tell you what may be blocking you. When you have completed

this step you should feel yourself more aware of your breath, and how it centers your thoughts,

giving you a starting place as you begin this inner journey.

Learn the importance of focusing on your breath in this meditation by Shinzen Young, called the “Seekers Guide meditation.”

G u i d e d m e d i t a t i o n |

FindinG Your BreatH 13

Step 2

mindFuL BreatHinG

Here’s a situation most of us have experienced. You are driving down the highway, listening

to music or just thinking about nothing in particular and suddenly realize you’ve passed your

turnoff. Your body has been sitting in the driver’s seat, but who and what was driving? This

body/mind separation is a challenge we have in many parts of our lives, whether we are play-

ing with our children but distracted by our phones, talking to a colleague or loved one while

thinking we’re hungry or tired, or driving aimlessly down a road.

h o W T o i N T e G r a T e T h e m i N d a N d T h e b o d y

mindfulness is the key to having all parts of the self in one place. if your mind is thinking about

what happened in the past, it’s not in the present. if you are worrying about what will happen

tomorrow, you are not being present. the easiest way to practice mindfulness is with some-


thing that is always there – your breath.

Breathing is usually taken for granted

– an automatic body response. What if

you decided to be fully present for each

breath, thinking about that precious

life force entering your body, cleansing

everything in its path, then taking what

isn’t necessary out of your body? Breath

is the miracle of life. Be mindful of this

amazing life force and consciously cele-

brate its existence.


Learning mindful breathing has far reaching benefits. Once you discover the joys and benefits

of mindfulness, you can take the practice out into other parts of your life. mindfulness can build

stronger relationships. Your loved ones know that when you are with them, you are with them

body, mind and soul. mindfulness makes the world a more beautiful place. When you are taking

in the beauty of a sunset, colors seem brighter because your whole being is involved. practicing

mindful breathing keeps you out of the past and the future, and allows you to be in the present,

the only time, the only place that matters.

G u i d e d m e d i t a t i o n

in this meditation, Thich Nhat hanh takes “mindful Breathing” to the next level by integrating our breath with the importance of being mindful during everyday life.

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mindFuL BreatHinG 15

Journal QueSTionS

■ With whom in your life are you most present?

■ How would your relationships change if you were to practice mindfulness?

■ What would you have to do to stay more present in your life?

F e e d b a c k e v e n t : b l i s s f u l b u t t e r f l i e s

as you breathe mindfully, take a moment and fully appreciate your surroundings. When you

are fully present, you can become immersed in your immediate environment and notice things

around you in more detail. As you gently allow your breathing to fall in time to the butterfly, other

flying friends gradually join you. The beauty of nature opens to your full awareness and you are

rewarded with a glowing fire to enhance this blissful scene.

appreciation of the subtle beauty of life all around you is one of the greatest rewards of being

mindful in your everyday life.


Step 3

LettinG Go oF ControL

there’s a great paradox in meditation. on one hand you’re instructed to sit up straight, shut out all

distractions, breathe rhythmically and stop any thoughts going through your mind. on the other

hand, you’re taught that meditation is about letting go. How can you follow conflicting instructions

about time, place, posture and mind for meditation and let go? the answer is you cannot, nor is

it necessary. proper meditation is whatever takes you, personally, into the silence and gives you

peace.

m e d i T a T i o N i s l e T T i N G G o

When you come to the main purpose of meditation, it’s really about letting go – giving up control

of whatever is going on. Control is a central issue in many of our lives, a struggle most of us go

through. You trust people at work, yet you want things done right, so it’s difficult to delegate and

let go. You want your children to be safe, but want to allow them to grow, so control becomes a

LettinG Go oF ControL 17

delicate balance. We even try to

control things we have no control

over. try as you may, it’s almost

impossible to change some-

one’s mind, how they feel or their

beliefs. You can only control your

reaction to outside forces. in

meditation, you learn to release

control, to let go, and watch what

happens.


another way to think about ‘letting go’ is to ‘allow everything to be as it is.’ Letting go of control in

any part of life means acceptance of the way things are. You’ll find that when you are in deep, rest-

ful meditation, you no longer judge right or wrong, no longer wonder if you are doing it right, no

longer try to push away any thoughts – simply accept the time, the place, the meditation and the

meditator. There you will discover the deep pool of stillness meditation offers you, an exploration

not to attain something, not to change anything, but simply to be.

meditation teacher adyashanti encourages you to release control of the meditator in this lesson of “allowing everything to Be as it is.”

G u i d e d m e d i t a t i o n

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F e e d b a c k e v e n t : e m e r a l d c r y s t a l s

in this event, concentrate on letting go of something (or someone) you have tried to control for

too long. as you feel the physical release and the freedom of letting go, let this bring about a new

sense of peace in your life. When you release control it is like giving yourself, or someone you care

about, a gift. Let each of these four emerald crystals represent this gift as they slowly take their

proper place. one by one, as the crystals rise, feel the emotional release and allow yourself to

smile.

Journal QueSTionS

■ List 3 people, situations or outcomes you try to control.

■ are there other areas of your life that would work better if you let go of control? Which ones?

■ are you willing to relinquish at least some of the control and trust?

LettinG Go oF ControL 19

Step 4

diSCoVer Your identitY

Your ancestors, in part, gave you certain hair and eye color, body type and may have passed down some innate talent in your dna, but is that who you are? a common, true phrase is that we stand on the shoulders of our ancestors. But the choices we make in life, the paths we take, the people we associate with, the beliefs and attitudes we grow up with – those are the details that create our

destiny.

W h o a r e y o u ?

When we pose this question to ourselves, or someone else asks us, we usually answer not with

who we are, our true identity, but with what we do or what roles we play in life. in truth, whatever

label you or others have placed upon you is not who you are. try asking yourself, “Who am i”, and

notice what jumps out at you – a father, a teacher, a spouse, etc. those are roles you play in life

but none of them reveal your true identity. the only way to discover who you are is to go into the

depths of your inner being and, in the quiet, ask again.


in “discovering uncharted territory”, this guided meditation from Gangaji leads you on an inner journey to help you awaken to your true nature.|G u i d e d

m e d i t a t i o n


this step shows you how to slow down, step away from the outside world and go within. once you

are in the quiet space of meditation, you can repeat the question “Who am i?” a variety of answers

may, at first, drift across your mind. Allow them to appear, then release them into the ether. Ask

the question again and a deeper layer of answers will arise. as you allow the obvious answers to

appear, then drift away, deep insights will eventually come to you, definitions of who you are, what

your true role in life is and how you can express the person you were meant to be. Going within

is the place where your true identity will be revealed.

diSCoVer Your identitY 21

F e e d b a c k e v e n t : K e y t o d i s c o v e r y

There is a quiet, uncharted space within all of us. The path to discovery includes finding the key

that unlocks this inner dimension. take the lessons you have learned so far, and allow your-

self some quiet contemplation. as you do this, breathe, and watch as the key begins its journey

towards unlocking your own undiscovered treasures. use some of the journal questions to delve

deeper into awakening your true purpose; and even learn to visualize what that treasure box may

hold when you open it.

Journal QueSTionS

■ Make a list of the first 3 answers that come to mind when you ask, “Who am i?”

■ Which answers change, if any, after meditating?

■ How would you describe your true identity?


Step 5

eXpLorinG Your BeLieFS

When it comes to beliefs, there are two schools of thought. one says, “When i see it i’ll believe it,”

while the other says, “Whatever i believe, that’s what i see.” in spiritual teachings you are taught

that what is going on inside of your mind is out-pictured in your world. in other words, your beliefs

create your reality.

W h a T d o y o u b e l i e V e ?

Beliefs are usually long held opinions we learned from parents, teachers and other important peo-

ple in our lives. as children, we are taught certain things which we seldom question. the stove will

burn our hand. the light socket will hurt. Strangers may be dangerous. they become so embed-

ded in our consciousness, we seldom think about them until we notice patterns repeated in our

lives. We’ve had conflict with co-workers in several jobs, our relationships don’t end well, and we

“catch” cold every winter. When we choose to delve into our deepest nature, discover exactly what

we believe, they can surface into the light and we can then re-choose our personal reality.

eXpLorinG Your BeLieFS 23


as we move into the meditative portion of

this lesson, we’re asked to turn our atten-

tion to a place in our lives where we may

feel stuck. With careful guidance we’re

led to discover where, exactly, that sense

resides in our body, and to identify what

it feels like. the next step is to ask the

questions, “What would i have to believe

to experience this discomfort?”, “Where

did this belief come from,”… “is this true?”

We seldom question whether a long

held belief is a habit or a truth. once the

answer comes, we get to choose whether

to keep the belief or release it, freeing us

from the consequences of holding onto

that which no longer serves, creating dif-

ferent outcomes than in the past. in this

lesson, you get to re-choose whether you want to continue living in a reality based on long held

beliefs, or move into a new, brighter reality that defines the truth of your awakened self.

Jonathan foust explores in depth with “transforming Beliefs” to help identify in our lives what beliefs serve us well, and what others may need to be released.



F e e d b a c k e v e n t : F i e r c e o b s t a c l e s

Our beliefs often serve us well for many years or maybe our entire lives. Other times we find that

we need to release ideas or convictions which may be preventing us from a broader set of experi-

ences or joys in our lives. Conquering these fierce obstacles can be very challenging for each of us.

in this exercise, these forces are represented by a ferocious serpent, which is blocking your prog-

ress. in the face of such challenges, try to deal with them straight on, moving past your fears.

Breathe confidently, and watch as your obstacles remove themselves without being forced.

remembering the previous lessons in releasing control may be helpful to complete this event.

Journal QueSTionS

■ Have you noticed a pattern in your life you’d like to change?

■ What long-held belief might create that pattern?

■ are you willing to change your beliefs in order to change your life?

eXpLorinG Your BeLieFS 25

Step 6

reLeaSe Your WorrieS

T h e P a s T i s o V e r

Mindfulness – being present in each moment – is the key to happiness and fulfillment. If your mind

is filled with regrets, hurts, offenses, resentments or disappointments from the past, you carry those

negative emotions into every situation that arises. a great opportunity in business comes up but

you remember how disappointed you were when a similar opportunity fell through in the past. You

meet a new prospective partner but you still carry the hurt from the last failed relationship. it’s as if

you are carrying a heavy sack filled with long held pain. Are you willing to release the past?

T h e F u T u r e i s a c l e a N s l a T e

When you hold onto past hurts, the pain keeps you from trusting the future will be different.


You may begin to worry about your ability to

succeed, to win, to feel good. Held fears from

the past become worries about the future.

instead of taking one day at a time, living in

the present, your past becomes a projection

for your future. Yet, most of what we worry

about never happens. Worry is totally unpro-

ductive. it just keeps you from the thrill of

moving into the next beautiful moment of life.

are you willing to release your worries?


in this lesson you may discover past hurts and

resentments you thought you let go of long

ago and know that you don’t have to carry

them into today. Since the past cannot be

changed, why drag it into your present? You

will also see that worry can weigh heavily on you as well. as you learn to let go, release the past and

the future, you will begin to feel lighter, as if a heavy weight has been lifted from you. each moment

becomes new, exciting and you move into your newfound lightness with excitement, knowing that

you can create whatever you choose – today.

in this visual experience leader rick Hanson shares his meditation “Coming Home to Happiness” to help you release your worries of the past and the future.


reLeaSe Your WorrieS 27

F e e d b a c k e v e n t : r e c e i v i n g h a p p i n e s s

all of us wish for some sort of happiness in our daily lives, but often, it remains just out of reach

no matter how hard we try. In this exercise, practice letting happiness come to you, without effort.

Worries about the past or the unknown possibilities of the future interfere with our ability to enjoy

the here and now. instead of wishing for what you want, or don’t want, let yourself relax, breathe,

and focus on the feeling of being happy. as this feeling becomes more real and present, the bal-

loon will arrive, signifying your open acceptance.

Journal QueSTionS

■ What is one hurt or disappointment you have carried with you from the past?

■ What have you worried about most for the future?

■ What steps can you take to live mindfully in the present, freed from the past and future?


Step 7

SoFten Your Heart

When the driver in the adjoining lane cuts in front of you, or when a server in a restaurant acts

rudely, it’s not only easy to get annoyed, it’s part of being human. the challenge comes when you

continue to hold onto anger or annoyance. it’s not only unhealthy for you, it doesn’t take into con-

sideration the situation of the other person. What if the server woke up with a migraine headache

she can’t shake? perhaps the driver was on his way to the hospital to see someone gravely ill. What

if, instead of reacting negatively to some people, we could change their behaviors by extending

kindness and understanding.

W e a l l h a V e c h a l l e N G e s

We see only the outer layer of people, what they want to show the world. You no doubt have

had times when you felt depressed, sad or anxious, yet went on with your day, not sharing those

feelings. instead, you may have tried to put up a brave front. all of humanity experiences positive

and negative feelings. and sometimes anger or hostility is a cry for help. Without revealing your

SoFten Your Heart 29

pain, you would love for some-

one to understand. as soon as

you become willing to help heal

one person’s pain, you begin to

heal yourself.


in this lesson, through a Bud-

dhist meditation called Tonglen,

you will practice compassion or

empathy by recalling someone

close to you, perhaps someone who has caused you pain in the past. From the deep peace of

your meditation you will begin to take away their personal pain and send out love and forgiveness.

As difficult as this may be, when you are willing to view the world from another’s eyes and help

alleviate their distress, you will be the one who is rewarded the most. Your life will change for the

better. You’ll find yourself feeling lighter, more peaceful, while moving through the world with a

softened, more compassionate heart.

this live recorded talk with pema chodron helps you release pains of the past in “Softening the Heart”.



F e e d b a c k e v e n t : h e a r t F o u n t a i n

As we allow our heart to soften, and accept the world is it is, we allow abundance to flow into our

lives. This is the place to practice this essential concept. Water in a fountain flows naturally down-

ward, cascading its life-giving essence without being forced.

Learning to express empathy, kindness and opening your heart can be just like that. as you allow

your heart to soften and accept, you will notice the flow of water in the Heart Fountain will increase.

Let its healing energy represent the flow of peace, love and empathy towards others in your life.

Journal QueSTionS

■ Who, in your life, has caused you the most pain?

■ Have you ever wondered why they act the way they do?

■ are you willing to heal your own life by sending healing vibrations to others?

SoFten Your Heart 31

Step 8

ForGiVinG YourSeLF

the word “forgiveness” is one that carries great emotion. most religions teach that we are to for-

give – no matter what – yet it is a directive most difficult to follow. When we feel someone has

wronged us, waves of feelings well up inside. Some of us refuse to forgive, others find forgiveness

easy. Many people believe that forgiving someone else is letting them off the hook, when, in fact,

it is simply a practice that frees us to move on with our lives.

F o r G i V e W h o m ?

There are cases, of course, where certain random acts affect our lives and we have no control

over the occurrence. in other cases, hurt feelings come from missteps or misunderstanding in

relationships. Yet, any feeling of resentment, regardless of what happened, seldom hurts the

perpetrator. the bad feelings fester inside of you and can create stress, depression and deep

resentment. You are the one suffering the consequences of non-forgiveness. And when you


explore the situation more, you may find that the

one you are resenting is yourself. “How could i

let myself get roped into that?” “Why did i subject

myself to him/her – again?” When you think of

forgiveness as letting your own self off the hook,

the picture appears different.


We are all human and as such, make mistakes.

it’s important to allow yourself to make mistakes,

learn from them and move on. in this lesson

you will discover whom it is you are really unwill-

ing to forgive and hold the intention to, at least,

move towards forgiveness. in the silence you will

ask yourself where this resentment has located

itself in your body, what it feels like and what you

believe will happen if you let it go. Finally, you will

end the lesson with the affirmation, “Please allow

me to make mistakes.” once you realize everyone

makes mistakes, you can more easily accept your own errors and those of others. With forgive-

ness comes a newfound freedom and lightness of being you may never have had before.

Jonathan foust explores the profound benefits of the “Self-Forgiveness meditation” to heal and free your spirit, and move beyond old wounds.


ForGiVinG YourSeLF 33

Journal QueSTionS

■ Who in your life have you not forgiven?

■ How do you feel when you unintentionally hurt someone?

■ are you willing to practice forgiveness for yourself and for others?

F e e d b a c k e v e n t : b r i d g e o f F o r g i v e n e s s

Forgiving others is important, but forgiving ourselves is equally as important. as we learn to let

the pains of the past go we build bridges between others and ourselves. When we do this we can

unify the parts of ourselves making us whole, instead of divided. use this exercise as a metaphor

for repairing the bridges in your own life, and especially as a bridge towards forgiving yourself.


Step 9

LiVinG a CompaSSionate LiFe

Compassion is less a concept that needs to be learned, than it is an innate quality to be revealed.

it’s the warm feeling you get when you’re watching a young wife greet her soldier husband back

from a long deployment. You sense how difficult the separation was while you feel the love of their

reconnection. this is an example of compassion

c o m P a s s i o N s e r V e s o T h e r s a N d y o u a s W e l l

all religious traditions teach love, forgiveness and compassion. the practice of these qualities

touches both sides. Forgiving others can affect the perpetrator, but more so the one who forgives.

LiVinG a CompaSSionate LiFe 35

Love creates good feelings

in the lover and the beloved.

the thought and act of com-

passion is similar. that’s why

the dalai Lama said, “if you

want others to be happy,

practice compassion. if you

want to be happy, practice

compassion.”


You cannot give to others what you cannot give to yourself. to live a compassionate life, you

first must be patient, loving and compassionate with you. In this step we will meditate and affirm

self-acceptance, inviting the thought, “may i be loved and may i be at peace,” moving outward to

“may i be loving and may i be at peace.” it’s easier to feel and extend compassion to people who

treat you with love and kindness. However, selective compassion is not living a compassionate

life. a compassionate life is one that is all-inclusive - for everyone, everywhere, all the time. as with

all behaviors and attitudes, compassion begins from within. this is the value of contemplation,

affirmation and meditation.

in this “Compassion meditation”, Sally kempton takes letting go farther and encompasses the concept of loving yourself and others.



Journal QueSTionS

■ do you consider yourself a compassionate person?

■ are there times when you are not compassionate with yourself?

■ What opportunities are in your life where you can practice more compassion?

F e e d b a c k e v e n t : T e a f o r c o m p a s s i o n

In this final event, match your breath to the gentle movements of the fan, and visualize a wave

of compassion for everyone in your life, past and present. as this emotionally rewarding process

evolves, imagine your compassion as the fuel that allows you to brew, and share, a cup of magical

tea. Fanning the flame of compassion heals wounds and gives you a life filled with peace. Sharing

a warm cup of tea with others allows that warmth to spread to everyone around you.

LiVinG a CompaSSionateLiFe 37

Step 10

aWaKen to Your true nature

philosophers and cosmologists tell us we are not only living within the universe, but we are the

universe, made of the same stardust that created all the galaxies. How much more valuable would

you feel in the great scheme of things if you not only believed that premise, but really felt and

knew it to be true? In the busy, material world of good and bad, big and little, it’s difficult to step

up to our true nature. But in the quiet space of meditation, that’s where we can reveal who and

what we really are.

y o u r b r a i N o N m e d i T a T i o N

in order not to injure ourselves as we move through the day, we have to be aware of where our

bodies stop and objects begin. But in the inner world of meditation, there is no need for sep-


aration. Brain scans of meditators have

shown the part of the brain that is aware

of separation, shuts off. No longer do

you feel separated from any part of the

universe. instead, the powerful nature

that is you, is revealed.

WhaT you Will learN

For this lesson, you will relax enough to

go beyond the mind that separates, into

the space that feels like an integral part

of everything. You may visualize yourself

walking through a forest, feeling as if you

are one of the trees, or flowers or gen-

tle waterfalls that pours into a cool pond.

You not only feel the power of the cas-

cading water, but know that beneath the

surface is an abiding calm. the beauty of

meditation is that with enough practice,

you become adept at calling forth that

calm, that peace and that feeling of being not in the universe, but of it, anytime and anywhere.

In this final meditation, Jon kabat-Zinn shares with you the “Healing Lake meditation” where you learn to expand your body and spirit out into the world, learning to be at one with all.


aWaKen to Your true nature 39

Journal QueSTionS

■ What is your opinion of our place in the universe?

■ When have you felt a oneness with everything?

■ Can you consciously recapture that feeling?

c o N G r a T u l a T i o N sNow that you’ve completed the final lesson in this program we hope you’re becoming familiar with

your own natural relaxing rhythms and have begun to incorporate these lessons into your daily

life. now that you know what to do, you’ll be able to maintain the self-discipline to guide your prac-

tice with a firm but gentle hand. Be consistent – and above all, kind. Forgive imbalances, forgive

the emotions, and in fact, be gentler with yourself on those occasions than on any other. Your

emotions and reactions, while not always desirable, do play a role – to call your attention to things

that aren’t working in your life. If you view them as flags, not flaws, you are better able to use them

to regain balance and peace. the idea here is not to keep score, but to keep watch and to gently

adjust for the imbalances as they come, and be there to catch yourself when you fall.


c r e d i T s

we’d like to acknowledge the powerful and dedicated team of

people who helped to create this program and who wrote and

edited this training manual and brought it to life.

Special thanks go to our friends:

dr. marcia hootman – editorial concept writer

Sue balcer – page design and typesetting

Jean widner and Steve robertson – editing and biofeedback training information

cover, game and event images:

2015 wild divine, inc.

d i s c l a i m e r :

the biofeedback and mind/body exercises in this book and program are designed

for relaxation and for developing self-awareness. this program is for educational

and entertainment purposes only. this program is not intended to diagnose, treat

or cure any physical or mental health issue. the author and publisher accept no

responsibility for anyone as a result of the use or misuse of this program.

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