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Negotiating Leadership: A Better Life through Conflict

Jeff Hoffman Mary Kluz

February 28, 2013

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Session purposes and objectives

Raise awareness Self-awareness (skills and assumptions) Awareness of ways to deal with conflict

Provide concepts to help you deal with conflict Framework for negotiation

Develop practical ideas for managing conflict Time to practice some negotiation skills Opportunity to learn from colleagues

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Conflict and Negotiation

I’ve been doing it all my life!

Let’s make a deal…

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Big Al’s Used Car Lot

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A Seven Element Framework

InterestsInterests

OptionsOptions

CriteriaCriteria

CommunicationCommunication

RelationshipRelationship

AlternativesAlternatives

CommitmentsCommitments

If “YES”

If “NO”

Copyright © 2001 Robert Ricigliano. All rights reserved

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Relationship

Use “people” techniques, like listening, to deal with people Use problem-solving techniques, like identifying interests and

options, on substance Attack the problem, not the people

Separate the people from the problem/substance

people issues

emotions

trust

respect

substantive issues

money

schedules

terms and conditions Deal with each on its own merits

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CommunicationFacilitate Communication that fosters mutual learning

We each have a part of the complete picture in our heads.

A learning conversation helps us put the pieces together.

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Communication

Use communication techniques that foster learning Listen actively Balance advocacy with inquiry Explain your reasoning, inquire into

theirs Acknowledge and deal with partisan

perceptions

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InterestsDig for the interests that lie behind the demands.

Fears

Hopes

Needs

Concerns

People often present their position, favorable to their interests, without giving the feelings or reasoning behind that position.

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Interests

Ask: Why is that? What do you hope for? What would be wrong with…? Are you afraid something will happen?

Solicit their advice, “what would you do?” to start the conversation

Consider starting with a joint exploration of interests

Dig for the interests that lie behind the demands. Fears

Hopes

Needs

Concerns

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Options Try brainstorming:

No ideas rejected or criticized No commitments All ideas are recorded, but NOT who suggested them Generate as many creative ideas as possible

Instead of just one idea…

You first want to invent lots of creative ideas to choose from.

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Criteria

Criteria are used to ensure that we are treated fairly, and we are treating others fairly. Use criteria to persuade – they are the means by

which any agreement can be justified to constituents. Try the test of reciprocity Use criteria to reconcile conflicting interests Look for fair standards, precedents, procedures or

principles to help resolve disagreements

People want to feel they’re being treated fairly.

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It’s decision time!

AlternativesAn option you pursue WITHOUT the

agreement of the other party

CommitmentsAn option you pursue WITH the agreement of

the other party

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Alternatives

Reality-test their BATNA if you think it is worse than they think

Disclose your BATNA if it is better than they think Warn, don’t threaten

“if we don’t reach agreement, then it’s in my best interest to… VS. “unless you give in, I’ll hurt you by…

Know your Best Alternative To a Negotiated

Agreement

BATNAX

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Commitments

Talk first, decide later To start, make a joint commitment to the process Explore interests, options, etc before committing to substance

Wise commitments are Operational, implementable and mutually understood

Give the other party a stake in the outcome by including them in the process Commitment grows by being involved in the who process

Make wise commitments at the end of the process

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A Seven Element Framework

InterestsInterests

OptionsOptions

CriteriaCriteria

CommunicationCommunication

RelationshipRelationship

AlternativesAlternatives

CommitmentsCommitments

If “YES”

If “NO”

Copyright © 2001 Robert Ricigliano. All rights reserved

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Negotiation Review What did your partner do or say that

worked well in this negotiation? (each person share observations with partner)

Joint DiscussionWhat caused us difficulty?What helped us make progress?What might we do differently in the future?

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Follow-up Reflections for Group

How did my preparation impact on the negotiation? Insights for future?

What hindered or helped establish a working relationship?

How did I handle the other 6 elements in the negotiation?

Did we achieve a good outcome? How, and how do you know?

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References Fisher, Roger, William Ury, and Bruce

Patton. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. New York, N.Y.: Penguin Books, 1991.

Stone, Douglas, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. New York, N.Y: Penguin Books, 2000.