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1 A Timely Reminder

DESCRIPTION This activity offers a more effective incentive to implement learning points acquired during the training course. The activity requires some post-course work from the trainer.

OBJECTIVES By the end of this activity participants will:

Have completed a course of training.

Have discussed learning points gained from individual sessions, and the program as a whole.

Have agreed, with the group, on individual action plans to implement at the workplace.

Understand that at a given time in the future they will receive a “timely reminder” of what they agreed to do in order to make the training course worthwhile.

PARTICIPANTS Any number

TIME 30 to 60 minutes

RESOURCES Paper and pen for each participant

A stamped envelope for each participant

METHOD Step 1: Introduce the activity.

Notes

Each participant will be asked to state at least one positive learning point gained from the training they have just experienced. They will then be given paper and a pen and time to consider how the learning can be translated into real terms; i.e., how they intend to apply the training back at the workplace.

One of the problems facing any trainee is the lack of enthusiasm or commitment of management and co-workers back at their place of employment who

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50 Activities for Interpersonal Skills Training

METHOD(continued)

have not undertaken similar training. This can be a disincentive to trainees who return to work eager to apply newly gained skills or ideas that involve change. People who have not been exposed to training are usually reluctant to alter the status quo.

Notes

Introducing new ideas is a skill; others need to be motivated and to see the relevance to them of trying new approaches or systems. The group will share ideas on how this can be achieved.

Step 2: Ask participants to take turns stating something positive they will take with them from the course.

Notes

It does not matter if more than one participant has the same idea; if a participant can think of more than one positive element, so much the better. It is important that each person articulate, to the group, a learning point he/she may gain.

Step 3: Ask participants to consider, for a few min-utes, how this learning will affect their work when they return to their places of employment.

Notes

Allow 5 to 10 minutes for this part of the exercise. If they wish, participants can discuss this with a partner.

Step 4: Ask if anyone wishes to share ideas with the whole group; whether anyone foresees difficulties in putting their learning into practice.

Notes

Lead a discussion, encouraging participants to help each other by suggesting strategies for coping with potential obstructions to change.

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A Timely Reminder

METHOD(continued)

Step 5: Issue paper and a pen to each participant. Ask them to write a letter to themselves stating the positive elements of the training course, how they intend to put learning points into practice, and how they intend to cope with any obstructions they might have in making effective changes.

Notes

Allow 15 minutes for participants to complete these letters.

Step 6: Issue a stamped envelope to each individual. Group the participants into pairs. Ask them to print the name and home address of their partner on the envelope.

Notes

If the course has an odd number of participants, have one triad. It is important that the envelope bearing a participant’s name and address is not in his/her own handwriting.

Step 7: Ask participants to exchange envelopes and to put the letter they have written to themselves into the envelope bearing their own name and address. Seal the envelope.

Notes

When they have completed this task, collect the envelopes.

Step 8: Explain what will happen to the letters.

Notes

The trainer will keep the letters for one to three months and then mail them. (This is why a home address was requested. In many places of work, mail is opened centrally and this letter is for their personal attention.) It will be a “timely reminder” for partici-pants, when weeks/months have distanced them from the training, to receive a letter that will contain action plans that they wrote! It will also prove a useful

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METHOD(concluded)

evaluation of the learning that took place, its effec-tiveness in the workplace or, more importantly, the motivation of the individual to apply the learning.

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2 Actions Speak Louder

DESCRIPTION This activity demonstrates the power of non-verbal communication and body language in any social interaction.


Have observed at least one aspect of nonverbal behavior.

Realize that it is impossible to “say” nothing, even if words are not used in communication.

Have discussed the basic elements of body language and nonverbal behavior which help develop good interpersonal skills.

PARTICIPANTS 6 to 12 participants

This activity could be used for any interpersonal skills-related course, but would be especially useful for counseling or interviewing training programs.


RESOURCES Enough space for the group to work in pairs and for the operation of a CCTV camera

CCTV camera and playback facilities (see Introduction, page 4)

Flipchart stand, paper, and markers for trainer use

Observer sheets

Pencils/pens for observers

One copy of Handouts 2.1 and 2.2 for each participant

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METHOD Step 1: Introduce the activity without making explicit reference to the objectives.

Notes

Explain that during the exercise, participants will work in pairs, but that initially the group will be divided into two subgroups, A and B. The goals of the exercise will not be immediately clear to Group B, which will be asked, in the first instance, to wait outside the course room.

Group B will be left outside while their partners in Group A are briefed. On their return to the course room, the exercise will begin.

Inform participants that the exercise will be recorded on videotape and that part of the exercise will include a playback that everyone will be able to view.

Step 2: Divide the group into pairs. Ask one person from each pair to wait outside the course room, and form Group B.

Notes

If there is an odd number in the group, form one triad. Ask two members of the triad to wait outside the course room.

Step 3: Outline the activity to those remaining in the course room, Group A.

Notes

Explain that their role is that of observer. When their partners are asked to return to the course room, they should be welcomed and shown to their seat, but from this point all verbal communication must cease. For the next five minutes observers will record all nonverbal behavior and body language of their partner. They should not try to interpret the nonverbal signals at this stage; just record facial expressions, angle of head, posture, hand and foot movements, etc.

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Actions Speak Louder

METHOD(continued)

Step 4: Distribute Handout 2.2.

Notes

Allow sufficient time for observers to read Handout 2.2. While they are doing this, arrange chairs so that pairs can work together and Group B can be video-taped (see Trainer’s Notes). This will inevitably involve a close grouping of chairs to get everyone on camera, but a learning point can be developed later from this (see Handout 2.1).

Make sure that observers in Group A are absolutely clear about what they have to record during the following five minutes.

Step 5: Brief the participants who are waiting outside the course room.

Notes

Apologize for keeping them so long. Tell them that on their return to the course room they are to sit with their partners. They will have to wait a few more minutes while Group A completes part 1 of the exercise and should not communicate verbally with their partner until told they may do so.

Tell participants they may now return to the course room.

Step 6: Begin the videotape.

Notes

If possible, record the “settling in” period as well as the silent observation and recording of nonverbal behavior. After five minutes, end this part of the exercise and rewind the videotape.

Step 7: Explain the purpose of the exercise to all participants, informing Group B that their seemingly passive role has been videotaped and will be used to demonstrate nonverbal behavior.

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METHOD(continued)

Notes

During our waking hours, everyone constantly transmits messages in the form of nonverbal behavior. In any interaction, whether or not words are spoken, these messages are received and interpreted, usually at a subconscious level. It is often the body language—the gesture, facial expression, angle of head, etc.—that dictates how a communication is received. Actions, very often, speak louder than words.

Even when we are consciously trying not to communicate—trying not to give nonverbal signals—this very inactivity produces body language that sends strong messages to the receiver. This exercise will have demonstrated several aspects of nonverbal communication.

Step 8: Ask for responses to the exercise from Group B.

Note: If real learning is to be achieved, it is important for feelings of frustration, anxiety, annoyance, etc. to be expressed and resolved before continuing with the activity.

Notes

Questions you might ask:

How did you feel when you were waiting outside the course room?

Did you notice obvious signs of anxiety, annoy-ance, boredom, in your colleagues in Group B?

What were the nonverbal signs?

When you were first brought back into the course room by your partner, what were your feelings?

How did your feelings change as the exercise progressed?

Were you conscious that you were giving out nonverbal messages by your posture, attitude, facial expressions, etc.? If so, what was your body language telling your partner, and how did this show?

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METHOD(continued)

Step 9: Ask Group A observers how they felt during the exercise.

Notes

Did they feel self-conscious? Sorry for their partner who was unaware of the point of the exercise? Were they too preoccupied with the task to notice the effect it was having on their partner? Did their feelings about the exercise and its effect on their partner display itself in body language, etc.? How?

Ask the Group B partners whether their colleague indicated interest, sympathy, disregard, friendliness, support, etc., and if so, how it was conveyed to them by body language or nonverbal communication. What was the affect of these messages?

Typical responses might be:

Smiling Shrugging shoulders Raising eyebrows Mirroring body postures (to show comradeship) Sitting forward, toward partner Unconscious shifting of chair to a less confron-

tational position Expression of concentration/close scrutiny “Laid back” approach Unconscious shifting of chair away from partner

Step 10: Ask Group A observers, individually, for their perceptions of their partner’s nonverbal behavior.

Notes

This may be just a record of observed mannerisms, attitudes, etc., or it might be appropriate to begin to interpret the nonverbal signals received, checking with the partner for accuracy.

Step 11: List on the flipchart all nonverbal signals as they are reported by the observers.

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METHOD(concluded)

Step 12: Play back the video.

Notes

It is important that participants recognize their non-verbal behavior patterns and can see how these are likely to be “read” by others. It may be necessary, therefore, to stop and replay sections of the videotape to reinforce a learning point.

Step 13: Lead a discussion on how the nonverbal signals listed could be interpreted by receivers.

Notes

This discussion may have already taken place naturally during the observers’ feedback and replay of the video. If so, re-emphasize key points. If not, go through the flipchart list asking the group to suggest how each perceived signal could be interpreted.

Step 14: Distribute Handout 2.1, discussing any points not already covered in Step 13.

Step 15: Conclude the activity, referring back to objectives.

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TRAINER’S NOTES

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Handout 2.1

Body Language andNonverbal Communication

Every day we are unwittingly sending out nonverbal messages to the people we meet. For example, on greeting a friend, or a person toward whom we have no feelings of animosity, our verbal greeting is unconsciously accompanied by a spontaneous, rapid raising and lowering of the eyebrows. This eyebrow “flash” is a nonverbal message used by all primates to indicate to the receiver “I am a friend, not an aggressor” and is usually met with a return eyebrow “flash” in acknowledgement.

This all takes place without our being consciously aware of any physical movement or gesture. Most messages conveyed by body language and non-verbal signaling work at this level, as the previous exercise will have demonstrated. These messages are spontaneous; too close a study is not to be recommended as we would become self-conscious; our actions too contrived.

However, if we are to improve our interpersonal skills, there are several aspects of nonverbal signaling that we can be conscious of, and add to our verbal repertoire for more effective communication.

Eyebrows…are expressive and may be used to great effect in animated conversation. They can show concentration when drawn together; or can give the impression of scowling when drawn together and lowered. Nearsighted squinting can inadvertently give an inaccurate nonverbal message of unfriendliness or aggression.

Eyes…can smile, even when the mouth is not willing! Maintaining good eye contact during communication is important. When looking at the person with whom you are communicating, try to move your gaze, fairly rapidly, from one of their eyes to the other. Your own slight eye flickering gives the impression of sparkling eyes to the receiver—a positive image. This will come quite naturally after not too much practice.

During conversation, keep your gaze on the triangle created by eyes and nose of the other person. Eyes that stray downward from this area create feelings of unease in the receiver.

If talking to a group of people, make regular eye contact with everyone in that group to make each person feel acknowledged and valued.

Reproduced from 50 Activities for Interpersonal Skills TrainingSue Bishop and David Taylor, HRD Press, Inc., 1991

Handout 2.1 (continued)

Mouths…can smile, but the smile never reaches the eyes! Personal feelings of animosity or indifference are often reflected in this way, and quickly picked up by the receiver. Smiles that switch on and off as instantly as a light bulb are also quickly interpreted as insincere. Be natural; smile when appropriate; use your mouth to help create an overall picture of someone who is genuine and approachable. Relax the jaw. Try not to clench or grind your teeth as the muscles involved will show on the jaw line and give a message of aggression, annoyance, or unease.

Heads…at a certain angle can convey a message to the receiver. A thrusting posture can be seen as aggressive. A head held back can be seen as a sign of arrogance (looking down one’s nose). However, the angle of the head is used a lot and to great effect in active communication. For example, the slight tilting of the head to one side can indicate to the person talking that the receiver is not quite sure of that point and would like to ask a question. (This head movement is usually accompanied by a slight frown.)

Hands and Arms…are used to animate a conversation, but if used to excess can provide a distraction. Relax shoulders; try not to fidget or play with jewelry or hair, clothing, etc. as this gives the impression of unease or nervousness. The folding of arms is natural and comfortable for most people, but the extreme form of this—clutching oneself as if in Arctic conditions—is usually a sign of being unsure of oneself. It is a natural protecting of our soft underside (as opposed to our hard shell—the backbone) and the gesture is common to most mammals who curl up for protection.

Legs and Feet…are crossed for most people as this is natural and comfortable, but a twining of legs around each other has the same effect as clutching arms around your body; it indicates to the receiver of the nonverbal message that you are not at ease; it is a sign of tension. Swinging the foot while legs are crossed can be read as a sign of annoyance; a tapping foot indicates impatience.


Handout 2.1 (concluded)

Posture…of an upright and open stance should be practiced. However, your body can be used to good effect, in an interview situation; for example, when sitting slightly forward in the chair, leaning toward the person with whom you are communicating, and giving that person the feeling that you are alert and interested.

Other Aspects of NonverbalCommunication and Body LanguagePositioning yourself too far from a person distances you from the conversation and sets up communication barriers. Positioning yourself too close invades that person’s personal space, and you will find that they will back away. Interpretations of personal space vary from culture to culture, and in different situations. For example, we stand very close to total strangers on a crowded bus or subway, or in a line for the movies without too much concern, but if we chose to stand as close to a stranger in a large unoccupied room, she/he would feel threatened by our close proximity.

Sitting or standing face to face is confrontational for most people; it is preferable to sit or stand at right angles to the person with whom you are communicating. Side by side is a friendly stance, but not comfortable for conversation.

Sitting on a similar chair of equal height is the best position for adult to adult conversation. Sitting on a higher chair gives unconscious dominance; sitting at a lower level implies subservience (another analogy with the animal kingdom; dogs and cats cower or lie to the floor as a sign of subjection to a stronger, dominant animal).


Handout 2.2

Observer Sheet

Please read carefullyOn instruction from the trainer, your partner will return to the course room. Please welcome her/him back and invite your partner to sit down in his/her designated chair (without moving it because of the video camera angles).

Do not communicate verbally from this point on unless you are asked a direct question. Make notes of the following observations:

1. How does your partner appear when first entering the room. Is she/he smiling? Showing signs of agitation? What are these signs? Does she/he appear relaxed? How can you tell this from body language?

2. Does your partner attempt to move her/his chair to a different angle? Further away from you? Further away from a neighboring chair?

3. When your partner sits down, make note of his/her posture. Is he/she sitting upright? Slouched? On the edge of the seat? etc.

4. What is your partner doing with his/her arms and hands?



5. How are legs and feet positioned?

6. Is there any movement of arms, hands, legs, feet?

7. Note all facial expressions, change of posture or position, mannerisms, sighs, etc. for the duration of the five minutes.


3 Adjectival Alex

DESCRIPTION This light-hearted icebreaker may be used to start a course.

OBJECTIVES By the end of this activity participants will have learned and remembered the names of the trainer(s) and the other participants.


Appropriate for individuals who did not know each other, or each other’s first names prior to the course

TIME 10 minutes

RESOURCES None

METHOD Step 1: Explain the objective of the activity.

Notes

This is an adaptation of a children’s memory game that is played in various guises: “Grandma’s suitcase,” “I’m going on a trip,” or “I went to the zoo” where the first player says “I went to the zoo and I saw…” and names an animal. The second player repeats this and then adds another animal. The game continues, with each player taking turns naming the list of animals, in the correct order, and adding a new one.

In this activity, the participant to the left of the trainer states her or his first name, prefaced by an adjective with the same initial letter as the first name; e.g., desperate Dennis, jolly Julie, jaded Janet. Moving in a clockwise direction, the next participant must repeat the descriptive adjective and name she/he has just heard and add her/his own.

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METHOD(continued)

The next participant repeats the two names just heard and adds his/her own, and so on around the circle until finally the trainer attempts to remember all the names of the group, with the correct descriptive adjectives, in the correct order!

Step 2: Ask participants to think of an adjective with the same initial letter as their first name.

Notes

Use the term “first name” (or “given name”).

Ask participants to choose any appropriate adjective to describe how they feel at the moment. This has the advantage of giving the trainer valuable insight into the self-perceptions of individuals, but the disadvantage is that negative adjectives tend to influence attitudes in interpersonal relationships; i.e., “scatterbrain Sheila” may be subconsciously perceived as being careless by members of the group for the duration of the course). An alternative is to ask participants to choose a positive quality for their description.

Allow a few minutes for participants to think up an alliterative adjective. Make sure that everyone has thought of a description before moving on to the next stage.

Step 3: Begin the activity.

Notes

Ask the person on your left to introduce herself/ himself: “I’m ruffled Ruth.” Then the person to Ruth’s left says “This is ruffled Ruth; I’m marvelous Mark.” The person to Mark’s left says “This is ruffled Ruth, marvelous Mark; I’m valiant Val.” And so on around the group.

If anyone gets stuck, the group can join in and help.

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Adjectival Alex

METHOD(concluded)

Step 4: Conclude the activity after the trainer has a turn.

Notes

The activity ends when the turn reaches the trainer who should, by then, have remembered all the participants’ names. If the trainer gets stuck or confused, the group can help.

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4 Against All Odds

DESCRIPTION This activity helps those new to addressing groups to overcome distractions and to concentrate on content and presentation. This activity could be followed by Activity 23.

OBJECTIVES By the end of this activity participants will be trained in the skill of maintaining concentration and making presentations well, in spite of distractions.


Anyone who needs to address a group of people for-mally; e.g., after-dinner speeches, reports at meetings, lectures, sales presentations, etc.


RESOURCES Sufficient space and seating for the group to work in independent triads

Flipchart stand, paper, and markers for trainer’s use


Notes

One of the main fears expressed by people new to public speaking is, “I hope my mind doesn’t go blank and I can’t remember what I’m supposed to say.”

Part of the answer to this problem is, of course, to be well prepared. The presentation should be care-fully planned; succinct notes made for easy refer-ence during the talk, and the actual presentation rehearsed so that the material, timing, etc. can be adjusted. With this amount of preparation before-hand, the chances of going blank are minimized.

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METHOD(continued)

However, it is difficult to prepare for the unexpected. Many a public speaker has been distracted when, for example, a heckler interrupts or the staff continues to clear tables or serve coffee while the speaker is trying to deliver an after-dinner speech.

Most people will have experienced the annoyance of trying to give a presentation while members of the audience are having private conversations. There are many such distractions that can easily make a speaker lose his/her train of thought, resulting, at best, in a moment of panic quickly overcome and at worst, in embarrassed silences, much fumbling of notes, and lowered credibility. The quality of the presentation suffers, as does the confidence of the speaker.

This activity is designed to help concentration so that individuals can focus their thoughts inward to an extent where outside noise, disruption, or distractions can be ignored.

Step 2: Explain the procedure and timing of the exercise.

Notes

The group will be divided into triads. On instruction from the trainer, two of the triad members will sit facing each other and talk, simultaneously, on a given subject for two to three minutes. The third member of the triad will observe and record the extent to which concentration and good presentation can be maintained. The observer should note aspects such as facial expression, body language, and draw conclusions about why concentration breaks down (if it does). Roles will be rotated so that each person will have the opportunity to practice speaking twice and observe once.

Step 3: Divide group into triads. Give them the subject for the first round of simultaneous talking. Begin the exercise.

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Against All Odds

METHOD(continued)

Notes

Two of the triad should face each other, maintain good eye contact, facial expression, and so on, and talk simultaneously about: “a vacation that I have enjoyed, would like to take, or am presently plan-ning” (or a subject of the trainer’s choice, perhaps appropriate to the participants’ work situation).

Step 4: After two or three minutes, stop the mono-logues. Ask the observers to share their observations with their colleagues in the triad.

Notes

The speakers will want to discuss the difficulties they experienced and their perceptions can be measured against the observer’s views. Allow three to five minutes for this.

Step 5: Ask the triad to rotate roles. Give them the subject for the second round of simultaneous talking.

Notes

Again, this can be an appropriate subject of the trainer’s choice, or a general topic could be “A book, film, or play I’ve enjoyed.”

Step 6: After round two of simultaneous talking and feedback, ask triads to rotate roles for a final time. Introduce a new topic for simultaneous talking.

Notes

A general topic could be “A hobby or pastime.”

Step 7: As a full group, discuss the exercise, exploring the difficulties experienced by the triads and ways of overcoming them.

Notes


Was the exercise easier or more difficult than you imagined it would be?

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METHOD(concluded)

What made it easy (for some of you)?

What were the difficulties experienced? What got in the way of concentration?

Identify factors that might disturb concentration in an actual situation at work. (You may wish to record these on a flipchart.)

Are there any steps, other than practicing concentration that you could take to help overcome these distractions? (You may wish to record these on a flipchart.)

Step 8: If flipchart lists were used at Step 7, these could be reproduced as a handout for participants. Alternatively, participants could be instructed to copy these lists for their own use and future reference.

Notes

Handouts reproduced from participants’ own obser-vations are often more useful and meaningful because individuals will feel “ownership” of the work produced.

Step 9: Conclude the activity, referring back to the objectives.

Notes

Stress that the simultaneous speaking exercise should be practiced until individuals feel confident that, while maintaining a good style of presentation, they can keep their thoughts sufficiently internalized (within their heads) to withstand distractions.

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5 Are we both okay?

DESCRIPTION This activity introduces participants to two of the fundamental concepts that form the basis of the effective development and use of interpersonal skills.


Understand four life stances (the “OK Corral”).

Be able to recognize the characteristics of each stance.

Understand some basic rights in interpersonal relationships.

Be able to build more effective interpersonal relationships.

PARTICIPANTS 6 to 20 participants; any type

TIME 75 minutes

RESOURCES One copy each of Handouts 5.1, 5.2, and 5.3 for each participant


Notes

This activity introduces two concepts. The first is the “OK Corral” and the second is a “bill of rights.”

Step 2: Distribute Handout 5.1 and take participants through each quadrant of the “OK Corral,” the examples and the characteristics.

Notes

Allow 10 minutes for this.

Each of the four stances (represented by the four quadrants of the “OK Corral”) represents the way a person (or persons) relates to others. This stance concerns not just the language we use; it reflects the

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METHOD(continued)

attitudes, thoughts, feelings, and behavior in force at any one time. Language is largely a vehicle for expressing these stances.

It should be made clear that the stance that achieves effective communication and enhances interpersonal skills is the “I’m okay, you’re okay” stance.

Step 3: Distribute Handout 5.2 and discuss each “right” briefly.

Notes


This is a “bill of rights” that can be used by anyone who wishes to improve their interpersonal skills. It is not a list of tricks and techniques, but is rather a fundamental approach to communication that stems from basic human rights. It is effectively a guide to achieving the “I’m okay, you’re okay” stance that is about respecting one’s own rights as well as those of others.

It is, perhaps, especially important to stress two points. First, everyone has the same rights and exer-cising one’s own rights must not cause an infringe-ment of someone else’s. For example, making racist remarks grossly infringes on the rights of others and would therefore violate the bill of rights. Second, underline the importance of the last right, that one has the right to choose not to be assertive (otherwise the bill of rights becomes oppressive in itself). You might also wish to invite participants to clarify any-thing or suggest additions to the list of rights.

Step 4: Distribute Handout 5.3. As a full group, discuss each scenario and reach agreement on which stance it represents.

Notes

Allow 20 minutes for this. The suggested answers are:

1) I’m OK, you’re not OK.2) I’m OK, you’re OK.

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Are we both okay?

METHOD(concluded)

3) I’m not OK, you’re OK.4) I’m OK, you’re not OK.5) I’m not OK, you’re not OK.6) I’m OK, you’re OK.7) I’m not OK, you’re OK.8) I’m not OK, you’re OK.9) I’m OK, you’re not OK.

10) I’m not OK, you’re OK.

Refer to Handout 5.2 to help clarify if necessary and also to distinguish the link between the two themes of the activity. for example:


Whose rights are being infringed on in Item 10? Which rights are being observed/ignored in

Item…?

Step 5: Conclude the activity with a review.

Notes



Does anyone have any difficulty with all or part of the bill of rights?

Can anyone think of any “real-life” examples of when they felt that their rights had been infringed on?

Can anyone think of a “real-life” example of a situation where the stance was not “I’m okay, you’re okay?” What changes would be needed for the stance to have been “I’m okay, you’re okay?”

What are the problems, if any, in achieving a high degree of “I’m okay, you’re okay” interactions?

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Handout 5.1

Stances: The “OK Corral”

YOU’RE OK

I’M OK

I’m OK,you’re OK

I’m not OK,you’re OK

I’M NOT OKI’m OK,

you’re not OK

I’m not OK,you’re not OK

YOU’RE NOT OK

Examples and CharacteristicsI’m OK, you’re OK—I feel good about my own performance and the whole team is doing very well now.

Characteristics: Mutual respect, collaboration, constructive approach to problems and disagreements, optimism, confidence, refusal to put self or others down

I’m OK, you’re not OK—The boss really liked my effort. He didn’t say much about yours, though.

Characteristics: Smugness, superiority, competitiveness regardless of cost to others; will put others down readily and with enjoyment; hostility; constantly looking for errors by others; victimization and harassment of others

I’m not OK, you’re OK—Other people are so much better at their jobs than I am.

Characteristics: Feelings of inadequacy and powerlessness; withdrawal; undervaluing of own skills and abilities; running away from problems

I’m not OK, you’re not OK—We’ve made a mess of this project. It’s just terrible.

Characteristics: Hopelessness; sense of getting nowhere; “Why bother?”


Handout 5.2

A Bill of RightsEveryone has the right to…

Be treated as an equal, regardless of gender, race, age, or disability

Be treated as a capable human being

Say “no” without feeling guilty

State feelings and thoughts without having to justify or make apologies (so long as this does not infringe on the rights of others)

Change his/her mind

Say she/he does not understand

Ask for information

Make mistakes (and take responsibility for them)

Take time to make decisions

Set his/her own priorities and make decisions accordingly

Ask for what she/he wants (while acknowledging that the other person has the right to say “no”)

Decline to be responsible for other people’s problems

Look after his/her own needs, and to be alone if necessary

Choose how to behave/respond in a given situation, including the right to choose not to be assertive


Handout 5.3

ExerciseFor each of the following statements, place a check in the box for one of the four stances that you feel best represents that statement.

1. The boss who can’t delegate because she/he doesn’t trust anyone else to do the job as well as she/he does.

I’m OK, you’re OK I’m OK, you’re not OK I’m not OK, you’re OK I’m not OK, you’re not OK

2. The successful football team celebrating a good season together.


3. The speeding car driver confessing all to the arresting officer.


4. The winning football team jeers at the losing team.


5. The losing football team drowns its sorrows at a bar.


6. The doctor refers a patient to a specialist in coronary care.


7. “I can’t make any impact in this organization.”


8. “I’m far too old to learn how to use a computer.”




9. “How dare you?!”


10. The manager finds it impossible to refuse a request for annual leave even though it will cause severe staffing difficulties.



6 Belonging

DESCRIPTION This activity demonstrates the diversity of teams to which everyone belongs, and demonstrates an indi-vidual’s strengths and weaknesses as a team member.


Have identified the teams to which they belong or have belonged.

Understand the various and varying factors necessary for “belonging” to teams.

Have experienced the need for various criteria to be met before teams function efficiently.

Have had the opportunity to measure their own strengths and weaknesses as team members.


TIME 1 hour and 45 minutes to 2 hours

RESOURCES Enough space and seating for the whole group to work together and for subgroups to work on flipchart sheets

Flipchart stand and marker for trainer’s use

Sheets of flipchart paper and marker for each subgroup

Adhesive tape or other means of attaching flipchart sheets to the wall

METHOD Step 1: Explain the activity to the participants.

Notes

Most people have limited ideas of what teams are. At an interview, for example, when asked “How do you function as part of a team?” candidates often reply: “I work on my own, not as part of a team,” not realizing that a team can comprise just two

37


METHOD(continued)

people. The department in which they work is a team, as well as the other departments working toward a common goal.

Teams are not limited to the workplace. Home life is a form of teamwork; clubs and associations are, in a sense, teams to which rules apply and membership is accountable. Organizations such as building industry associations can be seen as teams to which one has to apply to “belong;” there are rules and regulations that have to be followed by members; everyone who belongs has a common objective, and so on—all aspects of teamwork exist.

This activity is in three parts. First, participants will work in small groups, each to produce a written list of every team, formal or informal, to which indi-viduals have belonged or do belong. It is not appropriate to reveal the second and third parts of the activity at this stage.

Step 2: Divide the group into two or three subgroups depending on the number of participants.

Notes

Put a sheet of flipchart paper and a marker on the floor or table for each subgroup. Do not hand either item to a member of the group or ask the subgroups to choose a person to record on the flipchart sheet.

Step 3: Have subgroups begin working, listing teams, formal and informal, to which they have belonged.

Notes

Give no further instructions; i.e., do not advise how the lists are to be completed chronologically, under headings “Formal,” “Informal,” etc. Leave the teams to decide how they will tackle the task.

Observe the subgroups closely. Who writes the list? Who initiates ideas? Who “chairs” the proceedings? Who supports ideas? Who clarifies ideas? etc.

Allow 15 minutes for the subgroups to complete their lists.

38

Belonging

METHOD(continued)

Step 4: Before looking at the flipchart sheets pro-duced by the subgroups, lead a discussion on how each subgroup functioned as a team (second part of the activity).

Notes


Did the person recording volunteer or was she/he volunteered?

What criteria were used for selection?

Was the recorder happy with the role?

Why (or why not)?

What power does the recorder have?

Should the recorder just write down team decisions, or should she/he seek clarification or interpret what is said?

Where can this skill be put to good use in the workplace? For example, note taking/minutes writing, report writing, research, etc.

In a similar way, ask each individual what team role they adopted and what this involved.

Who took the lead/chaired the discussion?

(To this person) Did you realize that you had adopted this role? Is this a role you usually adopt in teams?

Were your ideas adopted, adapted, or rejected?

What qualities are needed to lead teams?

Who spoke the most? Were your ideas adopted, adapted, or rejected?

Who questioned ideas that were presented? Who needed more information and asked for clarification?

Who supported, encouraged, or helped other team members?

Did anyone not contribute?

39


METHOD(continued)

Whose responsibility is it to ensure that all team members contribute?

Why is it important that all team members contribute?

Make sure that every participant’s contribution to his/her team has been acknowledged and discussed.

Step 5: Conclude the discussion.

Notes

Every member of every team has a part to play, is valuable, and should be made to feel valued. Each participant has proved valuable to her/his subgroup through active involvement or showing support by listening to other members.

The exercise will have shown natural strengths of individuals as team members and in some cases the need for adaptability and flexibility to meet this particular team’s needs. In other situations, with different combinations of people, roles will be altered or will need to be modified.

Individuals should recognize strengths, build up weaker areas, and sometimes risk putting themselves in unfamiliar team roles.

Step 6: Ask each subgroup to take turns presenting its list of teams to which individuals have belonged (third part of the activity).

Notes

As a follow up to the above, ask a group member who has never given a presentation to stand at the flipchart as his/her team’s representative, and explain the subgroup’s list.

Ask the subgroup to give constructive feedback on their colleague’s presentation. Make sure that each presenter hears positive advice and encouragement and leaves with confidence.

40

Belonging

METHOD(concluded)

Regarding the lists, encourage the presenter to explain the thought processes that went into including each contribution; e.g., why did the subgroup consider Neighborhood Watch, a civic association, on their church choir team? Who are the members of the team and what are their roles in it? Is it a team to which you have to apply, or do you automatically belong? What are the rules that govern membership?

Step 7: Conclude the activity by referring back to the objectives.

Notes

Everyone has belonged, and will belong, to various teams throughout life. There will be different sets of rules. There are some teams you are automatically part of, others to which you have to apply to belong. Some will be formal, others informal. Some will be connected with family life or social life, others will be connected with business or the workplace.

In every case, however, good interpersonal skills are of vital importance. Roles will vary within teams, and individuals should recognize their own strengths and consolidate them, learn to be flexible within teams to meet the common good, and acknowledge weaknesses and work toward improvement in these areas.

41

7 Circulating

DESCRIPTION This is an icebreaking activity that also enables the trainer to focus participants’ attention on the training session content. This does require some advance preparation (see Trainer’s Notes, p. 56). After intro-ductions, this should be the first activity of a course.


Have communicated with other course members.

Have experienced low risk self-disclosure.

Have voiced their opinions to one other person on training session topics.

Have begun to consider elements of the course that will be followed up in later sessions.

PARTICIPANTS Any number, any type

TIME 60 minutes maximum

RESOURCES Enough floor space for participants to form inner and outer concentric circles (see illustration in Trainer’s Notes). If there is enough space for chairs too, so much the better.

Set of prepared questions (see Trainer’s Notes).

METHOD Step 1: Divide the group into two, asking Group A to form a circle facing outward toward the walls of the course room, and Group B to form an outer circle fac-ing inward so that each Group B participant is face-to-face with a member of Group A.

Notes

See illustration. If there is an odd number of partici-pants, ask the extra person to join Group B in the outer circle. It is not crucial to the activity’s effec-tiveness of one person does not have a partner at this

43


METHOD(continued)

initial stage, but the activity will have to be “stage managed” by the trainer so that with each rotation (see Step 2 below), a different triad is formed.

Step 2: Explain the procedure and timing of the activity.

Notes

The trainer will call out a question that should be considered and discussed between partners. Individuals can be as honest and open in their responses as they like, as this communication will not be discussed in the main group. After 2 or 3 minutes, or as deemed appropriate by the trainer, the outer Group B will be asked to move in a clockwise direction so that they are now facing a different Group A member. With each change of partner, the two people should introduce themselves to each other before considering and discussing another question presented to the groups by the trainer.

The activity continues in this way with Group B moving one place around the inner circle in a clockwise direction with each new question for discussion.

Step 3: Ask the first question, reminding individuals to first introduce themselves (if not known to each other already) before considering and discussing the questions.

Notes

The first few questions should be nonthreatening and easy to discuss to “break the ice” and to familiarize participants with the system of rotating. As the questioning continues it can become increasingly course-oriented and probing so that, by the end of the activity, participants are tuned in to the overall purpose of the training session.

See Trainer’s Notes for suggestions about the type of questions to ask.

44

Circulating

METHOD(concluded)

Step 4: After 2 or 3 minutes, ask Group B to move one place in a clockwise direction. Ask another question.

Notes

The activity continues in this way until the ice is broken and all questions have been asked.

Step 5: As a full group, go through each of the questions again, asking for general responses from the whole group.

Notes

Individuals may volunteer their own perceptions, but it should be stressed that confidences should not be broken. It is at this stage that the trainer can begin to interpret the activity and the responses in the broader context of the whole training session.


45


TRAINER’S NOTES

46

Circulating

ADVANCE PREPARATION

This activity may be used solely as an icebreaker. The questions need not have any connection with the main purpose of the training session or course. Here are some you might use:

What is your favorite color and why?

If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be and why?

Responses to these questions can give the trainer valuable insight into the confidence and self-esteem of individuals within the group.

However, the activity has more meaning if the questions relate to the course content. The more subtly they relate, especially in the initial stages when the ice is being broken and participants are getting used to each other and the exercise itself, the more impact the activity will have.

Example: In a course for social or youth workers, or anyone who has contact with adolescents, the following question could be asked: “What clothes were in style when you were a teenager?”

Non-threatening in itself, this question is easy to discuss with a relative stranger. However, by following a line of questioning similar to that demonstrated below, there could be a meaningful debate on the social and environmental issues facing young people today.

This debate could bring out a realization that every generation of teenagers has had its own style of dress, perhaps outrageous to adults of the older generations. Why do adolescents feel the need to “be different” in this way? Are they making an implicit statement and, if so, what? Are they different, or are they in fact conforming to the “norm” of the day? Why do some teenagers feel the need to wear the current fashion almost as a uniform? What are the associated problems of obtaining these clothes? Has lack of sufficient money to buy clothes always been a problem for adolescents? Is it a greater problem for today’s adolescents? Why is this? What part does the media play in the requirement of teenage society to wear the latest trend?

Questions could continue on other social issues, which could lead to a discussion on misuse of alcohol, drugs, or tobacco through a process similar to that illustrated above. For example:

Did you smoke as a teenager? Why?

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? Were your ambitions realized? Were they realistic? How realistic is ambition for many of today’s teenagers? etc.

47


The above examples show how seemingly straightforward questions can lead to meaningful discussions of topics related to a training session. The same principles can be applied to any training course. Some thought and work in advance on the part of the trainer (at least six questions) can turn a basic introductory exercise into a powerful training experience, setting the tone for the whole course.

48

8 Course Content

DESCRIPTION This activity may be used at the beginning of any course, but is probably most appropriate at those which last more than one day and which focus—entirely or in part—on interpersonal skills. It may be used to help establish a climate of mutual respect among participants and between participants and trainer. It establishes an interpersonal skills model that should influence the way all participants interact for the rest of the course.


Have considered, discussed, negotiated, and agreed to mutually acceptable forms of interpersonal behavior to be practiced by participants and trainer throughout the course.

Have agreed to be bound by the group contract.

Be aware of the group’s responsibility for upholding the contract.

PARTICIPANTS Up to 20 participants; any type

TIME 40 minutes

RESOURCES Flipchart stand, paper, and markers

METHOD Step 1: Brief the group on the nature of the activity and the reasons for it.

Notes

People come to courses with a range of feelings, including: fear, anxiety, excitement, relief at being away from work, uncertainty, apathy, neutrality, and so on.

49


METHOD(continued)

Some of these feelings may stem from past experi-ences at courses, from other work-based courses, from college, from school, or from other kinds of training. These feelings exert a powerful influence on a course. They are important and deserve to be acknowledged at the outset of any course, and per-haps especially those that involve consideration of those which involve consideration of human inter-action because such interactions are affected by how people feel.

This activity takes one step beyond simple acknowledgment of how participants feel and tried to address, in a positive and supportive way, the factors that may cause people to find group learning unfulfilling or even alienating. Not an uncommon experience, sadly!

Step 2: Allow time for individual reflection on previ-ous group learning or training experiences. Each par-ticipant is to try to recall one course (or part of a course) that was beneficial and enjoyable and then to recall a group learning or training experience that “went wrong” at least for them.

Notes

Two minutes should be enough for this stage. It would be sensible before starting to stress that, although participants will be asked to talk about these experiences to one other person in the group (step 3), they will not be asked to share these thoughts with anyone else, or with the larger group.

Without seeking to influence individual thinking too much, but in case people have difficulty starting, you could suggest the kind of problem that is common; e.g., personal humiliation, feelings of inadequacy, failure to understand, effects of smoking on non-smokers, being patronized or put down, etc.

50

Course Contract

METHOD(continued)

Step 3: Divide the group into pairs (or use one or more triad if an odd number). Start dialogues in the pairs/triads. Each participant is to share these experi-ences and partners should try to help each other focus on why the experiences were positive or negative.

Notes

Five minutes should be enough for this stage.

People often feel vulnerable at the beginning of courses, especially when they do not know the trainer or each other. Fear of exposure or ridicule in front of a group is very real for many and should not be underestimated. There is thus “safety” in small group activity, particularly at the beginning of a course. Don’t be tempted to “join in” as a partner, because you are not on equal terms with the participants.

Step 4: Ask each pair/triad to agree to one aspect of behavior (on the basis of their discussions) that both would like the whole group to practice for the duration of the course.

Notes

Allow 3 to 4 minutes for this stage. If, in any pair/ triad, the issues identified are so different that it seems impossible to agree on one recommendation, ask for one anyway. If, by the end of stage five, any out-standing issues have not been identified by other pairs/triads, then you may invite further contributions.

Step 5: Invite contributions from each pair/triad in turn. Write each one on flipchart paper. Explain that these proposals will form the basis of a draft course contract, but that there will be negotiation before it is agreed on.

Notes

For an example of a typical course contract, see Trainer’s Notes.

51


METHOD(continued)

On the flipchart, only write down new proposals, and assure pairs/triads that it doesn’t matter if their recommendations are covered by those going before them, and it should not be a source of embarrass-ment. Check meanings if they’re not clear to you, and any apparent duplication—there may be subtle differences of meaning or emphasis. But whatever else you do, don’t probe as to the reasons for the recommendation. Accept reasons if offered, but challenging, trivializing, or using inappropriate humor at this stage will destroy the point of the exercise as well as call into question your credibility as an interpersonal skills trainer.

Step 6: Let each pair/triad consider if its members are willing to be bound by the recommendations so far recorded on the flipchart.

Notes

Allow 2 or 3 minutes for this.

Safety in small numbers again plays an important part here. Simply asking the group “Is everybody happy?” at the end of Step 5 will produce silence and possibly hostility, unless you have an unusually relaxed and open group.

Step 7: Reassemble as a full group. Clarify, negotiate and, if appropriate, amend the contract. Seek to gain individual and collective assent to being bound by the terms of the contract and agree explicitly to them yourself as well.

Notes

This is the stage when the most sensitive handling may be needed. For example, if one recommenda-tion is for a no-smoking rule in the group, how are you to deal with habitual smokers who cannot face the (probable) stress of a course without smoking? There are solutions, of course (smoking during breaks, allowing people short breaks out of the room occasionally, etc.), but try to ensure that each issue

52

Course Contract

METHOD(concluded)

is handled in such a way that people feel their views are valued, even if, for the good of the group, not everyone’s wishes can be fully accommodated.

Step 8: Display the final version of the flipchart prominently in the course room throughout the course.

Notes

Stress the following:

Because the contract now reflects individual and group concerns, each participant—and the group collectively, has responsibility to ensure compliance and to challenge any lapses. So, for example, if punctuality is on the contract, the group should not just leave it to you, as trainer, to deal with habitual latecomers.

You, as trainer, will also be bound by the terms of the contract.

As the course progresses, you, or any of the group, might wish to review the contract to see if it is being observed and, possibly, to renegotiate parts of it. This is not just your responsibility but the whole groups, which is why it is sensible to keep it on display until the end of the final day.

TRAINER’S NOTES

Example of a typical course contract (for trainer guidance only):

Confidentiality to be observed by trainer and all participants

No smoking except at breaks

Keeping to established starting and finishing times

No racist or sexist jokes

Full participation by all course members

Mutual support

No excessive drinking at lunchtime

53

9 Crossed Lines

DESCRIPTION This activity uses one of the basic ideas from Transac-tional Analysis (TA) to consider why communication between people is sometimes more difficult than expected.


Understand the concept of ego states.

Be able to analyze transactions between people in terms of ego states.

Be able to identify transactions that are “smooth” and those that are not.

Be able to improve interpersonal communications.


Any type, although the technique’s application is most likely to be of practical benefit to managers and supervisors

TIME 60 minutes

RESOURCES One copy each of Handouts 9.1, 9.2, and 9.3 for each participant


Notes

Transactional Analysis (TA) was developed by Eric Berne in the 1950s. It is a theory of personality and of communication and is thus very useful as an interpersonal skills tool.

Step 2: Distribute Handout 9.1. Explain the concept of ego states.

Notes


55


METHOD(continued)

According to Berne, everyone’s personality may be analyzed in terms of three basic sub-personalities, which he called ego states: parent, adult, and child.

The parent and child ago states are often further subdivided into Nurturing Parent (NP) and Critical Parent (CP), Adapted Child (AC), and Free Child (FC). We slip in and out of these ego states according to how we feel and think; the whole range is always available, although we may often continuously suppress one or more of the ego states. This may be conscious or subconscious.

The handout diagrams the ego states and also outlines the key features and typical language of each ego state. Use the handout to discuss each ego state one at a time.

Step 3: Explain the basic idea of a transaction.

Notes


Communication between two or more people involves transactions. One person sends a “stimulus” (e.g., a statement or a question) and a “response” is expected. The two taken together constitute a transaction. A conversation or meeting is thus made up of possibly dozens or hundreds of transactions.

Complementary transactions involve sending and receiving of stimuli between matching ego states, while crossed transactions involve ego states that do not match. Handout 9.2 gives an example of each type.

Step 4: Distribute Handout 9.2 and check that people understand the concepts of complementary and crossed transactions.

Notes

Allow up to 5 minutes for questions and clarification if necessary.

56

Crossed Lines

METHOD(continued)

Step 5: Distribute Handout 9.3. Ask participants to work on it in pairs and to agree on their answers right.

Notes

Allow 15 minutes.

Step 6: Using the pairs’ answers, discuss each question on Handout 9.3 in turn, analyzing the ego states and nature of the transactions.

Notes

Allow 10 to 15 minutes. The answers are:

T1 S: S AR: FC FC

T1 is a crossed transaction.

T2 S: AC NPR: NP AC

T2 is a complementary transaction.

T3 S: FC FCR: CP AC


T4 S: A AR: A A


T5 S: NP ACR: AC CP


T6 S: NP ACR: AC NP


T7 S: CP ACR: CP AC


T8 S: FC NPR: A AC


57


METHOD(concluded)

T9 S: CP ACR: AC CP


T10 S: A AR: A A


Step 7: Select one or two of the crossed transactions from the exercise. Ask the group for suggestions on how the initiator might improve matters with the next stimulus, or might have made a better initial response. Analyze these suggestions in transactional analysis terms.

Notes

Allow 10 minutes.

By way of example: In the case of T8, the initiator could next appeal to the adult ego state; e.g., “I am convinced the benefits would outweigh the initial costs.” It might also have been a more appropriate initial stimulus too!

Step 8: Conclude the activity by considering the practical advantages TA might have in situations requiring interpersonal skills.

Notes


How might TA help you to adapt if you do get unexpected responses, or responses that make you angry?

Are crossed transactions always an impediment?

How might TA help in planning an important meeting with a boss or subordinate?

58

Handout 9.1

Ego States

Parent Ego State CP NP

A

AC FC

Adult Ego State

Child Ego State

The "whole" personality

The Parent Ego StateThe parent ego state is characterized by attitudes and language that are associated with authority, such as parents, teachers, bosses, etc. When we are in the parent ego state we are likely to be using attitudes and language that are to do with:

Setting limits Advising and guiding Admonishing and criticizing Protecting and nurturing Perpetuating traditional behavior and attitudes Prescribing rules

The language used will be judgmental; e.g., “don’t,” “must,” “should,” “can’t,” “good,” “bad,” “ought.”

The critical parent subdivision uses behavior, language, and attitudes that are suggested by the title; for example, frowning and the accusing finger, judgmental and condescending views of others, and words like “ought,” “must,” “terrible.”

The nurturing parent subdivision uses behavior, language, and attitudes that are suggested by the title, for example a smile, the arm around the shoulder, obvious caring about someone else’s well-being, a concern with growth, and encouraging comments such as “Well done,” “That’s really good,” and “I’m proud of you.”



The Adult Ego StateThe adult ego state is rational and logical and does not involve bias or feelings. It has nothing to do with being “grown up” or mature in the usual sense of the word “adult.” The adult thinks things through, using available data and comes to decisions. It is an intellectual, perhaps rather detached, ego state.

The Child Ego StateThis reflects the child that remains in all of us. The behavior, attitudes, and language are those we used and experienced as young children. The child ego state is thus characterized by such factors as having fun, entering into things with energy and abandon, being uninhibited by complexities, but also by responding to authority figures by being polite, compliant, or rebellious.

The adapted child subdivision concerns behavior and language that seeks to gain either attention or approval from those in authority. It may be naughty or “goody-goody” to excess. The person who always says “Yes” in order to please is in the adapted child ego state, as is the habitual whiner.

The free child is not concerned with adult ways. She/he will behave in a natural, unspoiled way that has to do with having fun, exploring the unknown, trusting other people, and generally being happy. The free child will use language like “I want” or “Because it’s there.” Spontaneous emotional outbursts of laughter or crying are associated with this ego state.


Handout 9.2

Transactional AnalysisAn example of a complementary transaction between two people:

CP NP

A

AC FC

CP NP

A

AC FC

Adult to adult: “When will that report be ready?”

Adult to adult: “By tomorrow afternoon.”

CP NP

A

AC FC

CP NP

A

AC FC


Adapted child to critical parent: “You’re always on me!”

The initiator expects an adult response but does not get one.

Note: A transaction such as the one below is still crossed (even though the lines do not cross), because the ego states involved in the stimulus and response differ.

CP NP

A

AC FC

CP NP

A

AC FC


Free child to free child: “I don’t want to think about it. Let’s go out for a drink!”


Handout 9.3

Exercise

TransactionsDecide which of the following ten transactions are complementary (i.e., between matching ego states) or crossed (i.e., between non-matching ego states). Try also to identify the ego states involved. The following diagram may help you to plat the transactions:

CP NP

A

AC FC

CP NP

A

AC FC

(The first example, T1, is completed for you.)

Ego States

T1 Stimulus: “When will that report be ready?”Response: “I don’t want to think about it. Let’s go out

for a drink!”

This is a: complementary/ crossed transaction.(check the appropriate response)

A AFC A

T2 Stimulus: “How did I do?”Response: “You did okay.”


T3 Stimulus: “Let’s throw an office party!”Response: “Oh, for goodness sake, we’re far too busy!”




Ego States

T4 Stimulus: “Shall we work on this idea together?”Response: “When are you free?”


T5 Stimulus: “I’m worried about you.”Response: “There’s nothing wrong with me, unlike

some others around here I could mention.”


T6 Stimulus: “I’m worried about you.”Response: “I know my work is not up to speed at the

moment. Can I talk to you about it?”


T7 Stimulus: “Pull yourself together!”Response: “How dare you speak to me like that!”


T8 Stimulus: “I want a computer.”Response: “We can’t afford one.”


T9 Stimulus: “Your standard of work is absolutely appalling.”

Response: “Well, if that’s what you think, I shall resign!”




Ego States

T10 Stimulus: “Are you satisfied with your standard of work at the moment?”

Response: “Not really.”



10 Crosstalk

DESCRIPTION A very simple way of analyzing the number of inter-actions between participants of a small group, this activity highlights patterns that can be used to stimu-late discussion.


Be familiar with the sociogram technique and how to use it.

Have observed patterns of interactions in a small group.

Be able to suggest interpersonal factors that influence such patterns.

PARTICIPANTS 8 to 12 participants; suitable for anyone, although the technique’s most obvious application is for those who regularly work in groups or attend meetings

TIME 90 minutes

RESOURCES One copy of Handout 10.1 for each participant

Seating for six people who will form a discussion group, plus seating for the rest of the group as observers

Flipchart stand, paper, and markers


Notes

Between 4 (minimum) and 6 (maximum) partici-pants will be asked to have a discussion on a topic of their choice, which will be observed by the rest of the group. The activity will introduce a very simple analytical tool that anyone can use who wishes to maximize a working group or meeting’s creativity and effectiveness.

67


METHOD(continued)

Since the technique is extremely simple to use, you can reassure the group that those involved in the discussion will not be at all disadvantaged by not being able to practice its use on this occasion.

Step 2: Identify the discussion group and the observers.

Notes

Identification can be on the basis of self-selection (volunteers) or you may wish to set up the discussion group on the basis of factors already known to you that may produce the desired learning points. However, be warned that such manipulation does not always produce the anticipated effect! You can’t predict the outcome when group synergy is at work.

Step 3: Identify the discussion group and the observers.

Notes

Explain that you will allow them 2 or 3 minutes to select a topic for discussion, which could be a work-based issue or quite unrelated to work. It should, however, be contentious enough to sustain 10 minutes of discussion.

Allow the group to set up its own seating arrange-ments for the discussion, which may be formal (around a table) or informal.

Step 4: Brief the observers.

Notes

Remove the observers from the immediate vicinity of the discussion group.

Distribute one copy of Handout 10.1 to each observer. Explain that they will each be asked to complete a sociogram as the discussion progresses.

Using the completed example on the handout, explain that a sociogram is simply a “log” of who speaks to whom. In group discussions, it is unusual for individuals to address their contributions to the

68

Crosstalk

METHOD(continued)

whole group, although this is more common where someone is fulfilling a “chair” role. Each time a group member addresses a remark to another, the observers draw a line between the two people involved in the exchange.

Parallel lines are drawn every time later interactions between the same people occur. Each and every individual exchange is to be logged. As the example shows, the parallel lines produce a visually graphic analysis of the discussion.

Step 5: Bring the two groups together. Ask the discus-sion group to state their chosen topic and check that they are happy with their seating arrangements. Posi-tion the observers. Tell the discussion group that they have a maximum of 10 minutes for their discussion.

Notes

Observers should be positioned around the discus-sion group close enough to be able to understand the intention of individual exchanges, but not so close that they are a distraction.

Step 6: Conduct the discussion.

Notes

Stop it after 6 or 8 minutes if discussion flags, but let it run for 10 minutes if it feels right to do so.

Step 7: When the discussion is over, distribute copies of Handout 10.1 to the discussion group. Explain the sociogram technique, using the example.

Notes

Allow 5 minutes.

Step 8: Ask the observers to describe how easy or difficult they found the technique to use.

Notes

Allow 10 minutes.

69


METHOD(continued)


Was the sociogram easy to complete?

Was it easy to maintain?

Could you determine easily which comments were being addressed to individuals and which to the group as a whole?

Step 9: Arrange for all the completed sociograms to be displayed and observed by the discussion group.

Notes

Inevitably there will be some minor differences between the sociograms, depending on observer accuracy and conscientiousness, but broad patterns should be clear.

Step 10: Ask the discussion group to comment on what they see and then bring in the observers.

Notes

Allow 15 to 20 minutes for this stage.


Are there any surprises?

Do these sociograms seem to reflect what went on in the group? If not, why not?

Why were there so few/no transactions between…?

Why were there so many transactions between…?

Did anyone with a position of power in the organization (e.g., manager, executive, supervisor) influence the number of transactions directed to them?

How did the election of a “chair” (if any) influence the pattern?

Was gender or race an issue? For example, were some people a greater focus for transactions than women or black people?

70

Crosstalk

METHOD(concluded)

Did anyone in the group behave differently from their “normal” behavior? Why?

What other factors might have influenced patterns? Expertise? Technical knowledge? Assertiveness? Aggressiveness? Shyness? Ability with words? What else?

Take note of the issues that emerge in preparation for Step 11.

Step 11: Summarize the learning points on a flipchart.

Notes

Allow 10 to 15 minutes.

The learning points should be those that emerged during Step 9.

Possibilities could be:

The influence of organizational position/ seniority on the pattern.

The influence of gender or race—women or black people are often treated as less important.

Specialized knowledge and the extent to which it is valued and thus empowers an individual in a group.

The impact of personality/aggression/empathy and the extent to which they influenced and/or inhibited contributions.

The effect of body language.

The difference between judgmental and nonjudgmental remarks and how they affect subsequent contributions.

Departures from “normal” behavior and factors that may cause this.

These are just suggestions based on the most common outcomes.

71

Handout 10.1

Exercise

The Sociogram1. Enter the names of the discussion group members in the boxes below,

so that the diagram becomes a “map” of how people are sitting in relation to each other (see completed example).

2. Use the diagram below to record transactions, as shown in the completed example. A transaction is a remark addressed to one group member directly—thus a question and a reply would merit two lines.

3. Remarks addressed to the group as a whole are recorded differently (see example).



Completed Example

Kim

Chris

Sam

Ray

Val

Les

Remark addressed to a specific personRemark addressed to the group as a whole


11 Don’t Make an ASSof U and ME

DESCRIPTION This activity focuses on assumptions, presumptions, and stereotyping, and how they can affect interper-sonal relationships.


Realize that everyone makes value judgments against arbitrary criteria.

Recognize the range of criteria against which indi-viduals can be assessed.

Have begun to acknowledge areas where prejudg-ment can result in unreasonable bias, prejudice, or discrimination.

See that stereotyping and assumptions can alter our opinions of individuals, which may sometimes affect communication, and interpersonal relation-ships can suffer as a result.


TIME 1 to 2 hours

RESOURCES Space and seating for full group discussion and for three groups to work independently

Flipchart paper and markers for group work

Adhesive tape or other means of attaching flipchart paper to wall


Notes

This activity concerns assumptions and stereotyp-ing. Most people, if asked, would state that they would not make assumptions about a person solely on first impressions, that they are not bigoted,

75


METHOD(continued)

prejudiced, or discriminatory in their treatment of individuals.

In most cases, this is probably true, but if we are honest with ourselves, there is not one of us who is not influenced by some aspects of another’s appearance, lifestyle, or other factor, however fleeting that impression is. For instance, statistics have shown that people who wear glasses are generally expected to be more serious than those who don’t. When we meet a person for the first time and they are wearing glasses, does this affect our response to them—our style of communication—however slightly?

Experiments have also shown that people who are round shouldered and stoop, generally command less respect than those with straight backs and an upright posture.

We would all accept that this is not a fair or sound basis for value judgments, but the fact remains that posture can influence people’s opinions of indi-viduals. Can it also, therefore, affect interpersonal relationships?

There are many aspects to a person that can affect our perspective, and therefore our reactions to them. First impressions are important, but later in a relationship personal disclosures can also affect our response to a person; we may readjust our thinking about them, and this can alter our interpersonal communication.

Sometimes we discover from an outside source things about a person we thought we knew well. This too can alter the way we communicate with them.

Every individual will differ in his/her reactions, but without exception we all “judge” others against one or more subconscious yardsticks. This activity involves acknowledging these. Recognizing our own bias and intolerance, or conversely our partiality, and the reasons for these feelings, is an essential step in improving interpersonal and communication skills.

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Don’t Make an ASS of U and ME

METHOD(continued)

Step 2: Explain the procedure and timing of the activity.

Notes

The groups will be divided into three subgroups. Group A will discuss and list first impressions that may influence an individual’s response to a person; aspects such as posture, as explained in the introduction.

Group B will discuss and list any disclosures revealed by a person that may later influence an individual’s opinion of them; e.g., clubs or associations to which they belong.

Group C has, perhaps, the most sensitive if not the most difficult task. They will list disabilities that could affect communication between two people. The wearing of glasses was mentioned in the introduction, and some would consider poor eyesight a form of disability.

The groups will have 30 minutes to discuss and draw up a flipchart list for presentation to the main group.

Step 3: Divide the main group into three subgroups. Give each group with a sheet of flipchart paper and marker. Begin the exercise.

Notes

Make sure that each subgroup is aware of its task and that half an hour will be allowed for the lists to be completed. At the end of that time, each group in turn will present its work to the main group. Each subgroup should therefore appoint a presenter/ spokesperson.

Step 4: Give a time check after 25 minutes. After 30 minutes, groups should stop work. Instruct Group A to post their flipchart sheet on a wall in sight of every-one. The spokesperson from Group A will then pre-sent the group’s work explaining each item, the reason for its inclusion on the list, and the discussion that took place within the group.

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METHOD(continued)

Notes

The full group discussion should include the trainer. Depending on the content of the lists, discussion may remain at a fairly superficial level, but could develop into a debate where aspects of equal opportunity are considered.

The extent to which this is pursued must be dictated by the group itself and the lists produced and by the confidence of the trainer in controlling such a discussion. The trainer must be able to challenge assumptions and interrupt contributions that are potentially discriminatory, while encouraging posi-tive debate on the way that prejudice toward race, gender, age, etc. operate in society to the detriment of good interpersonal communication.

Step 5: Ask Group B’s spokesperson to post its list and to explain its contents with the main group.

Notes

The same criteria regarding equal opportunities apply to all three lists, and should be strictly adhered to by the trainer.

Step 6: Ask the final group to post its list and its pre-senter to explain its discussions on disability.

Notes

Disability is a sensitive area for discussion; it can be a cause for communication difficulties and/or breakdown. Acknowledging that there are commu-nication difficulties because of another’s disability can produce feelings of unease or guilt. It is for these very reasons that it is so important to discuss the effect another’s (or our own) disability has on communication and interpersonal relationships. It is also vitally important that the issues are considered in a sensitive, positive, and constructive way.

Step 7: Ask if there are any points not already dis-cussed but pertaining to assumptions and stereotyping that the group would like to examine.

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Don’t Make an ASS of U and ME

METHOD(concluded)

Step 8: Conclude the activity by referring to the objectives.

Notes

Participants should be aware that everyone, through conditioning, social background, education, etc., can be guilty of “labeling” individuals, and that this can affect how we converse with them. This is not a fault in itself; it is human nature.

Awareness is the first step toward positive action. By recognizing within ourselves where our prejudices lie, we can begin to consider how this affects our interpersonal relationships and look for ways of improving communication.

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TRAINER’S NOTES

The groups should be left to compile their own lists and to include items that they can confidentially discuss among themselves, with everyone attending. However, the following material, though not exhaustive, gives an indication of items that could be included.

Group A: First Impressions

NameGender (if unexpected)HairstyleHair color/lengthSkin colorRacial originFacial expressionHeightWeight

General buildPostureMannerismsAgeAccentClothingJewelryDegree of eye contact

Group B: Disclosures

AgeReligionSexualityCultural backgroundPolitical beliefsVegetarianGeneral healthMental healthSchoolingClubs and associationsNewspaper read

Television program choicesLike/dislike of animalsLike/dislike of childrenRacismChauvinismFeminismPossessionsFinancesMarital statusAttitudes to work

Group C: Disability

GlassesSight visual impairmentBlindHearing aidHearing impairmentDeafFacial disfigurementBody disfigurement

Speech impairmentStammerMental disabilityPhysical disabilityWheelchairTwitchMannerisms

80

12 Down the Line

DESCRIPTION This activity introduces participants to some basic principles of delegation.


Understand the basic principles of effective delegation.

Understand the individual, team, and organizational impact of ineffective delegation.

Be able to analyze their own delegation practice and to improve and monitor it.

PARTICIPANTS 6 to 20 participants Managers and supervisors

TIME 60 minutes

RESOURCES Prepared flipchart as specified in Trainer’s Notes

Flipchart stand, paper, and markers for trainer use

One piece of flipchart paper and marker for each of two groups


Notes

Refer to the objectives.

Step 2: Reveal the prepared flipchart (see Trainer’s Notes). Ask the group to agree on which statement in the “consequence” column matches one in the “approach” column (the items are not in paired order).

Notes

Allow 10 minutes for this step.

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METHOD(continued)

It is a lighthearted introduction to styles of delega-tion but it provides a useful introduction and focus. Participants should be clear about the distinctions between the four approaches and their conse-quences.

The rationale is as follows:

Approach 1 = Consequence CThe manager will not let go of anything because no one can be trusted to do it as well as she/he can. Subordinates thus do not develop skills of their own. The result is frustration, which often leads to people “voting with their feet.”

Approach 2 = Consequence DThe manager allows subordinates to make impor-tant decisions, but fails to ensure that they take responsibility for those decisions. This will ensure a cavalier approach to decision making with the chaos (anarchy?) that results from irresponsibility.

Approach 3 = Consequence BThe manager requires subordinates to carry out responsible tasks, but fails to give them the authority to do so effectively. They must always obtain authority for decision making from the manager. Such subordinates will feel “dumped on” by the manager because they are not trusted to do the job properly and are therefore only getting jobs that are not really important.

Approach 4 = Consequence AThe manager has handed over responsibility and authority—the ability to make decisions. Implicit in this approach is delegating of the right to make mistakes too. Individual development of the subor-dinate results and the manager is more effective.

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Down the Line

METHOD(continued)

Step 3: Divide the group into two smaller groups. Give a sheet of flipchart paper and a marker to each group. Ask Group A to identify and list the signs that they would look for in a manager who is unable to delegate. Ask Group B to identify and list the signs that they would look for in subordinates of a manager who fails to delegate.

Notes

Allow 10 minutes.

See Trainer’s Notes for suggestions of the kinds of issues that the groups should be looking for (see also Step 5). You might also suggest that, as a way of getting started, the groups think of managers they know who cannot delegate properly.

Step 4: Reassemble as a full group. Each group takes turns presenting its findings.

Notes

Allow 20 minutes total for two 10-minute presenta-tions, to include questions.


Do any items from one group’s list match another’s; i.e., approaches and consequences? If so, which and why?

Does anyone have personal experience of these failures? How does it feel?

What is the effect of poor delegation on a team? What is the effect of poor delegation on an

organization?

Step 5: Using the previous step’s presentations and discussion, derive a Manager’s Questionnaire on Delegation Good Practice. Write the ideas on the flipchart as they arise.

Notes

Allow 20 minutes.

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METHOD(concluded)

See Trainer’s Notes for an example of the kinds of questionnaire entries you might expect.

Step 6: If possible, arrange for information recorded on the flipchart to be distributed as a handout (or participants can take their own notes).

Notes

Groups usually place greater value on handouts that they have been directly involved in producing.

TRAINER’S NOTESDelegation

In advance of the activity, prepare a flipchart as follows:

Approach toDelegation Consequence

Manager gives tosubordinates:

Neither authoritynor responsibilityAuthority but notresponsibilityResponsibility butno authorityAuthority andresponsibility

1.

2.

3.

4.

A. Perfection!

B. Dumping!

C. Resignation(s)!

D. Anarchy!

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Down the Line

Some suggestions for a questionnaire on good delegation practice:

1. Are you often interrupted by subordinates asking you about the job; e.g., what, why, how, and who is to do it?

2. Do you have to decide all important matters yourself, or does your staff have some power over decision making?

3. Do you sometimes find yourself doing the job of one of your staff, when that person should be doing it?

4. Do you have time to plan your work and supervise and develop your staff properly?

5. Are you good at organizing the job to be done and leaving the details to the person who is to carry it out?

6. Are you a habitual “checker-upper?”

7. If you have confidence in your staff’s ability to do the job, do you show it?

8. Do you set standards so high that only you can obtain them?

9. Do you like to maintain an air of secrecy or do you give people all the information they need to do the job properly?

10. How often do you get your subordinates involved in thinking about a job as well as doing it?

11. How do you react when a subordinate gets it all wrong after you have carefully explained a job to him/her?

12. Are you always rushing around?

13. Do you delegate the “right to be wrong?”

14. Do your staff come to you with suggestions and solutions, or just problems?

85

13 Fact or fiction?

DESCRIPTION This is a simple exercise in logic and inference that enables participants to understand the ease with which assumptions can be made, based on insufficient factual information, and the consequences of acting on such assumptions.


Be aware that it is very easy to “read between the lines” and make assumptions about people and situations that have no basis in fact.

Understand the dangers of making assumptions.

Be able to guard against communication breakdowns due to false assumptions.

PARTICIPANTS Any number; suitable for basic communication or interpersonal skills courses

TIME 60 minutes


METHOD Step 1: Explain the procedure and timing of the exercise.

Notes

The group will be divided into pairs (one triad if there is an odd number). Each participant will be given a copy of Handout 13.1.

Allow a few minutes for everyone to read the first page which describes a sequence of events at a computer software company. Pairs will then discuss this scenario and answer the questions relating to it.

Allow 15 minutes to complete the questionnaires; a time check will be given after 10 minutes.

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METHOD(continued)

Step 2: Divide the group into pairs (one triad if necessary). Issue Handout 13.1. Ask participants to read the scenario on the first page.

Step 3: Ask pairs to discuss the statements relating to the scenario and to answer them as “True,” “False,” or “Don’t know.”

Notes

Every participant should complete an answer sheet. If partners disagree about a response, this difference of opinion can be discussed later as a group. “Don’t know” can be checked if participants are unsure of a response or if there is insufficient information in the scenario for them to make a judgment.

Step 4: Give a time check after 10 minutes. Allow another 5 minutes if necessary for pairs to complete their questionnaires.

Step 5: End the exercise. Discuss each statement with the full group.

Notes

Identify a pair and ask for their response to the first statement and their reasons for that response. Ask the main group if they agree; if not, why not, etc.

When the first statement has been fully discussed, move on to a different pair for their response to statement 2, and so on.

Step 6: Beginning with the presumptions discussed in the exercise, begin the discussion by asking partici-pants if they would be willing to share an experience when they made assumptions that created problems in the workplace.

Notes

Examples that frequently emerge are:

Mistaking the gender of a person; assuming, for example, that because of stereotyping, a secre-tary is a woman and addressing correspondence

88

Fact or fiction?

METHOD(continued)

accordingly, or assuming that the managing director will be a man. In the case of the sce-nario, assumptions about gender may have been made on the evidence of such things as status within a company (job title), ability to cope under pressure, temperament, ability to train/ discipline staff effectively, etc.

Jumping to conclusions from visual “evidence.” In the scenario, the arrival of (presumably) uni-formed security personnel may not indicate an escalation of trouble. Similarly, in the work-place, a staff member being called into the boss’s office does not necessarily mean that she/he is “in the know,” in trouble, or anything else we so readily assume.

Creating your own mental picture of a series of events, unwittingly adding additional informa-tion of your own, making assumptions where insufficient factual evidence is supplied. For example, there is evidence to show that if a sports car is mentioned in a conversation, most people visualize a red car, and if asked later, will state categorically that they had been told that the sports car was red.

The increasing inaccuracies of second-hand information.

Assuming that because you have thought about giving detailed instructions, or certain informa-tion to an individual, that you have in fact, done this.

Assuming that the person with whom you are communicating has the same sense of humor or is on the same wavelength as you.

Assuming that because the other person does not respond verbally to the contrary that she/he is in agreement with you.

89


METHOD(concluded)

Having a mental picture of a person with whom you converse by telephone, and being momen-tarily disconcerted when meeting him/her face-to-face; i.e., you have made inaccurate assump-tions about age, race, or appearance, etc. (This should not but could subsequently alter your style of communication and interpersonal rela-tionship with that person.)


Notes

Stress that is very easy to assume mutual under-standing, to assume agreements have been made, to make assumptions about individuals without having the full facts in our possession. To practice good interpersonal communication, we should be aware of these dangers and always ask for clarification and decisions or value judgments. Always check that you understand, and have been understood, by the other person(s).

Step 8: Conclude the activity.

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Handout 13.1

ExercisePlease read the following scenario carefully.

Chris Stevenson is the supervisor of a customer service desk in a computer software company. Chris has been asked to go into the manager’s office.

Chris is accused of failing to deal with an ineffective team member. Co-workers and customers are complaining about a lack of understanding of customers’ inquiries. Chris is told that the solutions being offered are based on inadequate knowledge of the software system and that the failure to listen properly is suspected to be a reflection of this inadequacy.

An hour later, in the cafeteria, Chris is seen to be uncharacteristically rude and angry, complaining about the standard of the food (which has always been regarded by management as offering excellent value) and the sloppy hygiene standards. A tray of food is dumped in the cashier’s lap as company security staff arrive on the scene. Chris bursts into tears.



Please answer “True,” “False,” or “Don’t know” to the following state-ments by placing a checkmark in the appropriate box.

1. Chris has been interviewed by a manager. True False Don’t know

2. The interview took place in the manager’s office. True False Don’t know

3. Chris is a woman. True False Don’t know

4. The ineffective team member is thought to be covering up inadequate knowledge of the software system.

True False Don’t know

5. At least one person is unhappy about the standard of service offered by at least one member of the customer service team.


6. The accusations are so unfair that, an hour later, Chris is venting pent-up anger on innocent cafeteria staff.


7. Chris’s complaints about food standards are unfounded. True False Don’t know

8. Chris has thrown a tray of food, in anger, at the cashier. True False Don’t know

9. The arrival of company security personnel signals an unpleasant escalation of the situation.


10. As the security personnel arrive, Chris realizes that the situation has gotten out of hand and breaks down.



Fact or fiction?

TRAINER’S NOTES

Fact or fiction?—Rationale

Only statement 5 is unquestionably true.

1. Just because Chris has been invited into the manager’s office does not mean that the manager has interviewed her/him. It could easily have been team members or other concerned co-workers.

2. Chris was asked to go into the manager’s office, but there is no evidence that she/he complied.

3. There is no evidence anywhere of Chris’s gender, and the emotional outbursts at the end of the scenario give no clues either way.

4. There is no evidence to link the complaint of ineffectiveness with the complaints from customers and co-workers. There could be at least two separate issues here.

5. This is true.

6. There is no evidence that Chris’s anger in the cafeteria is linked to the earlier meeting, which may have been perfectly well resolved. Chris’s anger may be about something else entirely, including genuine indignation at cafeteria standards!

7. Just because management is satisfied with cafeteria standards does not ensure that they are always met. Maybe on this occasion they have fallen below acceptable levels.

8. The dumping of the try could well have been accidental and there is, in any case, no statement attributing the dumping to Chris.

9. Security personnel may have just been coming in to have lunch.

10. Since we only have evidence of Chris’s anger, and nothing else, there is no reason to suppose that she/he feels the situation is out of hand. Perhaps the tears are of frustration, or indicate that Chris has a serious personal problem—we just don’t know.

The problem with this whole scenario is the assumptions that people make. It reads perfectly well and it is the kind of reporting that rapidly becomes accepted as fact. Inferences are made especially on observations of the way people behave and, as in this case, very wrong conclusions can be drawn.

93

14 A Gift from the Group

DESCRIPTION This activity ends any course during which the elements of supportiveness and trust have been developed between course members.


Have given positive written feedback to each of their colleagues.

Be in possession of a “gift”—a written affirmation of their positive qualities as perceived by their fellow participants.

PARTICIPANTS Ideally, no more than 8 participants; if used with a larger group, divide into two or more subgroups of up to 8 members

The activity is especially relevant to self-development courses, or one where personal awareness and confidence raising are key issues

TIME 30 minutes

RESOURCES One sheet of 8½ x 11 paper for each participant Pencil/pen for each participant Metal clip for each participant Clipboard or some other means for lap-top writing Seating in a fairly tight circle

METHOD Step 1: Explain the purpose of the activity.

Notes

This activity is designed to conclude a course. At the end of the activity, every course member will go away with a “gift” from his/her fellow participants. This “gift” will be a sheet of paper listing positive qualities or attributes demonstrated during the course, and as perceived by other individual participants.

95


METHOD(continued)

Step 2: Explain the procedure and the timing.

Notes

The trainer can include herself/himself in the activity, but this is not essential.

Each participant will be given a sheet of paper, a pencil/pen, and a metal clip, and will be asked to fold the paper into eight sections—in half, in half again, in half a third time, so that the paper has eight lengthwise sections in which to write comments. (See Trainer’s Notes prior to folding.)

They will be asked to write their name in the bottom right-hand corner of the sheet, then pass this paper to the person on their left. (Throughout the activity, papers will be passed in a clockwise direction.)

They will then write a comment about the person whose name is written on the sheet. The comment must give positive feedback to that person. It could be a personal quality that they have demonstrated during the course: friendliness, supportiveness, openness, a perceived attribute—“Obviously nervous, but willing to take a risk” for example; or an admired characteristic—clothes, smile, etc. The comments should be restricted to one or two sentences that can be contained within one of the sections on the paper. No more than two minutes will be allowed for each comment to be written.

The section containing the comment will then be folded over and kept anonymous and in place by the metal clip. (Participants may, if they wish, sign their comments, but this should be left to individual choice.) When every participant has written a positive statement about the person whose sheet they have, and on instruction from the trainer, the sheets will be passed in a clockwise direction, one place to the left, so that everyone now has a different colleague’s named sheet in front of them for positive comment.

The activity continues in this way until the sheets have gone full circle and participants have their own named sheet in front of them.

96

A Gift From the Group

METHOD(concluded)

Step 3: Arrange seating so that participants are sitting in a fairly tight circle. Distribute paper, pens, and metal clips. Begin the activity as described in Step 2.

Notes

Make sure that the last participant has completed his/her comment for that round, restricting the comments to one section of the paper, folding down and securing the paper with the metal clip, before giving the instruction for papers to be passed one place to the left.

Step 4: End the activity by ensuring that each participant is in possession of his/her own sheet, and by collecting the metal clips.

Notes

Sometimes participants want to read the comments of their colleagues there and then; others will prefer to take their gift from the “group” away to read privately. This should be left to personal choice, but the activity should stand alone and not be commented on further by the group or trainer.

97


TRAINER’S NOTES

How the sheets should look:

Initially

Sarah

Folds

1

2

3

8

In progress

7

8

Sarah

Sensitive to the needs ofothers

98

15 Giving Feedback

DESCRIPTION This activity should be conducted toward the end of any course; it identifies the positive advantages of giving and receiving feedback, while recognizing the risks involved. It offers tips on providing effective feedback and gives participants the opportunity to practice both giving and receiving feedback.


Be aware of the advantages of receiving feedback on request, not just after interviews or at appraisal.

Be conscious of the pitfalls involved in giving feedback and aware of methods of minimizing these risks.

Have practiced giving and receiving feedback.

Have derived learning points from this exercise and be able to offer suggestions on the practicalities of giving feedback in the workplace.

PARTICIPANTS Any number, any type

TIME 90 minutes

RESOURCES Space and seating for the entire group discussions, and for participants to work in pairs (because of the nature of the exercise, the pairs need to be spread out so that they are not overheard by colleagues)


Adhesive tape or other means of attaching flipchart sheets to wall

One copy of Handout 15.1 for each participant

99


METHOD Step 1: Introduce the activity, defining feedback and its usual applications.

Notes Feedback, given skillfully, whether positive or

negative, can be important and useful. It is a way of finding out another’s opinion of how we are performing at our job, how we function (as a training course participant for example, or as part of a team), how we are advancing in our careers, areas where there could be improvement, where further training, study, or application would be useful, etc. It is a way of learning more about ourselves and the affect our behavior has on others.

There are occasions when managers are expected to give feedback—after an interview, or as part of an appraisal. Because constructive feedback can increase our self-awareness, offer options that we are free to accept or reject, and encourage learning, feedback from others should be a right that we can request in our work order to help us develop.

Even negative feedback, given skillfully (suggesting options for improvement), can be important and helpful. There is a difference between negative feedback and destructive feedback, which is criticism unskillfully delivered, offering the recipient nothing on which to build. This activity looks at ways in which feedback can be given that, whether accepted or rejected, leave the recipient feeling valued and respected.

Step 2: Brainstorm the advantages of actively seeking feedback. Use a flipchart to record these for discussion.

Notes Instruct the group to name the advantages of asking

for feedback from co-workers or managers. These may include: To receive constructive comment on what I do

and how I do it To be reassured that what I’m doing is correct To be given ideas on how to improve

performance

100

Giving Feedback

METHOD(continued)

To have another’s view of my strengths and weaknesses

To look at alternative ways of working to see if self-perception matches how other people see me

To consider if there is anything about my image, behavior, attitudes, etc. that I could improve

Step 3: Brainstorm the risks involved in offering/ giving negative feedback. Use a flipchart to record these for discussion.

Notes

Ask the group to name the reasons one might hesitate in giving negative feedback. These might include:

The recipients may vehemently disagree They may become upset and angry I may not be able to cope with their upset/anger The recipients may become even more set in

their ways It might affect the relationship I have with them They may not like me anymore They may misunderstand what I’m trying to say They might distort what I’m saying to suit their

own needs Even if I give them feedback, it might not have

any affect on how they behave It will make me feel bad telling them something

they may find difficult or painful to hear

Step 4: Discuss and record the implications of not giving feedback.

Notes

There are few people who enjoy taking risks with relationships. Most of us dislike telling subordi-nates, co-workers, or friends things that might pro-voke their anger, feelings of indignation, or hut. How we give negative feedback is most important

101


METHOD(continued)

but first we should perhaps consider the implica-tions for that person and/or the relationship if nega-tive feedback is not given.

Reasons may include:

If feedback is not given there is very little chance of there being any change.

The other person might be unaware that there is anything wrong with his/her behavior or per-formance.

If feedback is not given as soon as appropriate, there is an increasing chance that it will eventu-ally become a confrontation. Small issues and emotions build up until we blow up!

At best the status quo will be maintained, but there will be no opportunity for the other person to learn and develop, or the relationship to grow.

At worst, the problems will develop and rela-tionships will suffer when we put up barriers by not sharing our feelings and perceptions with the other person.

Step 5: Distribute and review Handout 15.1.

Notes

Take the time to explain each of the tips because the next stage of the activity asks participants to prac-tice giving feedback to group participants, so it is important that they are confident about the “do’s and don’ts” of skillful, constructive feedback.

Step 6: Outline the procedure and timing for the next part of the activity.

Notes

Participants will work in pairs. Assuming that by this stage individuals will have realized the benefits that can be gained by asking for constructive feed-back from co-workers or managers, as a means of self-awareness, self-appreciation, and ultimately

102

Giving Feedback

METHOD(concluded)

confidence building, instruct participants to work alone at first.

Each person should decide how to ask his/her partner to offer constructive feedback on his/her functioning as a training course member. Participants should then concentrate on their partner and decide on the most useful positive and negative statement they can offer in response to the request for feedback which they will receive from them.

Allow 5 to 10 minutes for preparation, instructing individuals to think carefully about how to make the feedback clear, direct, and useful to their partner.

Step 7: Instruct partners to take turns asking for, receiving, and giving feedback verbally to each other.

Notes

After each has given and received feedback, individuals should consider how they felt about the experience, and discuss with their partner what they learned about giving and receiving feedback from this brief exchange.

Step 8: As a full group, ask if anyone would like to share learning points with the whole group.

Notes

The discussion should concentrate on the practical aspects of giving feedback and positive recommen-dations for more effective communication.

103

Handout 15.1

Constructive Feedback

The following is a long list of tips, but you will not need to follow them all every time! Some are general guidelines; others refer more specifically to formal post interview or appraisal feedback.

Give positive feedback before negative.

Most people response to praise, encouragement, and recognition. Preface negative feedback with a positive statement, and it is more likely to be favorably received. For example: “I’m very pleased with the way you’ve settled in—you’re really popular with the clients. I do feel, though, that you need to take more care with your paperwork…”

Encourage

If you like something about a person, or feel she/he has done something particularly well, recognize this, give positive feedback, and encourage the person to build on strengths.

Be specific

Avoid general comments such as “that was good.” Instead say what was good. Try to comment on observable behavior. Avoid commenting on something a person can do nothing about, on their apparent motives or shortcomings.

Concentrate on what can be changed.

Direct feedback only toward behavior that an individual can do something about.

Give details.

Detailed feedback provides more opportunity for learning. For example: “The way you phrased that question was helpful to the client because it gave him the opportunity to explain…”



Allow the other person to accept or reject your feedback.

You cannot impose beliefs, opinions, or attitudes on others. At best, demands for change are met with initial resistance; at worst, intran-sigence and feelings of resentment. Skillful feedback offers people information about themselves that they can consider and from which they can learn. Whether or not your feedback is acted upon is a matter for their decision.

Offer alternatives.

Turn negative feedback into positive suggestions. For example: “It would save time if you collated all the information first, rather than…”

Describe rather than judge.

If you evaluate, do so by referring to criteria that you saw or heard and the effect it had on you. This will be far more useful than offering value judgments and comments such as “that was awful,” or “that was really great.” For example: “The way you listened to my problem, the way you sat forward, your facial expressions, your obvious concern, made me feel important and valued as a person.”

Take responsibility for feedback.

Avoid “you are…” statements that suggest unanimous opinions of the other person. Open with “I think…” or “in my opinion.” It is important to take ownership of proffered feedback.

Leave the recipient with a choice, but try to make him/her aware of the implications of ignoring feedback.

Be aware that things may not change as a result of your feedback.

There is always the chance that the recipient will be annoyed or hurt by negative feedback, or that your relationship might change as a result. You need to weigh the pros and cons of not offering feedback before proceeding.

Check that you have been heard and understood correctly.



Ask whether or not the recipient agrees with your feedback.

Give the other person a chance to think about and discuss the feedback in your presence. She/he is unlikely to act upon feedback with which she/he disagrees.

Ask recipients if they have ever been given similar feedback before.

If they have, your feedback will reinforce the fact that some kind of change is needed (or if positive feedback, self-confidence will be enhanced by your reinforcement). If they have not, it will at least establish that the issue is between just the two of you.

Ask recipients to suggest alternative forms of behavior, etc.

The most positive step toward setting a clear objective about change is to enable people first to acknowledge the need for change and, second, to reach their own conclusions about how things could be done differently.

Ask recipients to specify what they intend to do differently, when they will put it into practice, and how they can find out if it has been effective.

Ask recipients to consider the consequences of not acting upon negative feedback.


16 Hole in the Middle

DESCRIPTION This activity provides a focus for looking at issues of power and how they operate in organizations, between groups, and between individuals. The original concept, which we have adapted, belongs to Arthur Shedlin and Warren H. Schmidt.


Be aware of how power and influence operate in organizations, between groups, and between individuals.

Be able to identify sources of power and the means by which power is exerted (influence).

Be alert to the dangers that exist when group or individual perceptions of power are different or simply not recognized.

PARTICIPANTS 8 to 10 participants (maximum) Managers and supervisors

TIME 1 hour and 15 minutes

RESOURCES Two rooms where two groups can operate without risk of being overheard by each other

One copy of Handout 16.1 for each participant in the Action Team

One copy of Handout 16.2 for each participant in the Strategy Team


Set of materials as specified in the Trainer’s Notes


109



Notes

Explain simply that you are going to organize a group activity. Do not refer to the objectives at this stage.

Step 2: Establish the Strategy Team and ask them to wait in the other room.

Notes

Allow the group to self select. Ask for volunteers who like the idea of planning a strategy. You need four people altogether. The room to which they go should contain a table and a set of materials as specified in the Trainer’s Notes.

Step 3: The remainder of the group makes up the Action Team. Give each a copy of Handout 16.1.

Notes

There should be a minimum of four, and a maxi-mum of six, people in the Action Team. Since they will have some time to wait, it would be sensible to make sure that the seating in their room is comfort-able.

Step 4: Move to the other room and give a copy of Handout 16.2 to each member of the Strategy Team together with individual materials as specified in the Trainer’s Notes. Place the template and the planning sheet on the table.

Notes

Be careful not to get caught up in questions from the Strategy Team. All the information they need is contained in Handout 16.2.

110

Hole in the Middle

METHOD(continued)

Step 5: The activity begins without any further com-ment from you.

Notes

Observe the activity and make notes if you wish. As long as the Strategy Team does not break its rules, it may be as creative as it likes. It could, for example, copy the planning sheet on to the template, or sim-ply draw another copy of the planning sheet. It can ask the Action Team in at any time, not just after the 25 minutes is up. These examples rarely happen, however.

Enforce the 25-minute time requirement specified in Handouts 16.1 and 16.2 if either team fails to do so.

Step 6: The activity ends when the Action Team has completed its task or fails to do so.

Notes

Do not intervene or assume the activity has ended until it is clear that the task is completed success-fully or the Action Team concedes defeat by so indicating to you.

Step 7: Ask the Action Team to say briefly how they felt while:

Waiting to be called in Being instructed Carrying out the strategy

Notes Allow 5 to 10 minutes. Unless the Strategy Team called in the Action Team

early on in the proceedings you will need to allow the Action Team to express anger, frustration, and resentment toward the Strategy Team. This will be seen to be one of the crucial learning points within this activity so don’t be surprised or worried by it.

111


METHOD(continued)

Step 8: Distribute Handout 16.2 to all group members. Use it to describe sources of power and influence.

Notes The model of power and influence used here is that

suggested by Charles Handy in his book Understanding Organisations. Handout 16.3 explains the diagram fully.

Step 9: Lead a discussion on power and influence particularly emphasizing:

How the model relates to the activity How power and influence operate in the

organization

Notes Questions you might ask:

What were the sources of power that the Action Team may have attributed to the Strategy Team?

Was the Strategy Team surprised at the reactions of the Action Team (if anger and frustration emerged)?

How could things have been improved? Were you (as trainer) seen as powerful? If so,

why? What were your power sources and influence methods? If you were not seen as powerful, why not? What did you do to diminish people’s perceptions of your power which, as trainer, is quite real?

Are people, in their day-to-day work, ever guilty of failing to realize how they are seen as powerful by virtue of position, authority, control of resources, or personality?

If we are seen as powerful by others in our organizations, is that power real?

How do organizations structure power? Can participants think of everyday examples of the power bases and influence methods suggested in Handout 16.3?

Are men seen as more powerful than women? Why?

112

Hole in the Middle

METHOD(concluded)

Are white people seen as more powerful than black people? Why?

What are the benefits (to us) of being seen to be powerful? Are these benefits open to abuse?

What are the drawbacks of being seen to be powerful?

Are there advantages in sharing power (real or perceived)? How might this activity have differed if the Strategy Team had adopted a more/less powerful role? How could they have done this?

To what extent does power and influence affect interpersonal skills?

TRAINER’S NOTES

This set of materials consists of the template and the planning sheet. Arrange to copy the template and planning sheet for the Strategy Team. Copy the planning sheet (e.g., by tracing) on to a sheet of poster board and cut out the 16 pieces in the shapes and sizes shown and place four pieces randomly in each of four envelopes.

113

Handout 16.1

Action Team Notes1. You are members of the “Action Team.” Your team will be

responsible for implementing a task for which instructions will be given to you by the “Strategy Team.”

2. The task will begin no later than 25 minutes from now.

3. You may be called in at any time before 25 minutes has elapsed so you should remain together as a group throughout this phase.

4. If you have not been called in at the end of 25 minutes, you should then report, as a group, to the Strategy Team in the other room.

5. Once 25 minutes has elapsed, no further instructions from the Strategy Team will be permitted.

6. You will be required to carry out the task as quickly as you can.


Handout 16.2

Strategy Team Notes1. Each member of your team, the “Strategy Team,” has an envelope

containing four cards. All 16 pieces together make up a design with a hole in the middle.

2. Additionally, your team has available, as part of its materials, a template showing the outline design and a planning sheet that shows how the pieces fit together in “jigsaw” fashion.

3. During the next 25 minutes, your team is to:

Work out a strategy for instructing the Action Team how the 16 pieces can be put together to make the design.

Instruct the Action Team in how to carry out your strategy.

4. Throughout this activity, the following rules apply:

You must keep all four of your own pieces in front of you until the moment when the Action Team is ready to begin its task.

You may neither touch, nor trade with, any other team member’s pieces during either the strategy-making or instruction phases.

The planning sheet may not be shown on the Action Team at any time.

You may not assemble the entire design at any time; this can only be done by the Action Team.

None of the 16 pieces may be marked in any way.

5. Once the Action Team has begun to assemble the pieces you may give them no further instructions.


Handout 16.3

Power and Influence

Force

"Exchange"

Rules andProcedures

Persuasion

NegativePower

Charisma

Environment

Physical

Resource

Position

Expert

Personal

InfluenceMethod (Overt)

PowerSource

InfluenceMethod (Unseen)



According to Charles Handy, power stems from the following sources.

Physical power

This is the power source of the bully and the terrorist. Luckily this is rarely a power source in the workplace!

Resource power

One person, team, or department has something that someone else wants. It is a common feature of organizational life. These resources are not just material. They can be related to status or belonging. It is important to acknowledge that possession of a resource that some-one else wants is not, on its own, enough. It must also be within the possessor’s ability to control the resource. An accountant may have access to the company’s millions but, if she/he is not able to make decisions on how those millions are spent, then there is no resource power.

Position power

One’s place in the organizational hierarchy is recognized by most people and accepted as valid. It assumes that there is another power source behind the next one up and, if the boss’s boss fails to support the boss, then the position power is invalidated. The person with position power has three prime ways in which to exercise resource control:

1. Possession of information—“information is power”

2. “Gatekeeper” to networks and people otherwise inaccessible to persons further down in the organization

3. Control and decisions over how things are done

Expert power

A person’s acknowledged expertise in a particular area is a source of power that has few needs for sanctions to maintain it and, as such, it is seen as being highly-prized. Individuals and departments may strive to establish themselves as “experts” in order to increase their status and power.



Personal power

Personality rather than position creates this type, often known as charisma.

Negative power

All of the above are probably recognized as legitimate power sources, even if we don’t like them or their influence methods (see below) may be sometimes questioned. Another power source that does not necessarily operate all the time is negative power. It is the capacity of someone to “throw a wrench in the works.” The office custodian may not have any of the power sources listed above in an organization, but she/he has considerable negative power. So does the secretary who filters mail and calls to the boss. The environment and flows of information can be considerably disrupted by people with minimal organizational power. When people are upset, demoralized, or bored, negative power can emerge.

How Power is Exercised:Methods of InfluenceThe diagram at the beginning of this document suggests that some power sources are most usually associated with particular methods of influence.

Force

This can be physical or economic. The latter is not uncommon in business.

Rules and procedures

These require someone to do something in a particular way—a common enough feature of society.

Exchange

This basis of most transactions where desired behavior is “bought” may be through promotion or giving status. The problem here is that the transaction ends after the exchange has occurred. Promotion does not guarantee that a manager will continue to behave in the way that the transaction sought to affect.



Persuasion

We all may aspire to this type as it’s based on logic and reasoned argument. However, the “bottom line” is often rules and procedures or force; the “friendly chat” often precedes the disciplinary procedure when persuasion fails.

The above influence methods are all quite evident to those involved. There are, however, other less obvious influences that are a reflection of the use of power.

Environment

The environment in which we work is a critical influence. At a simple level, we know that unacceptably loud noise will affect our work and our relationships with others. At another level, the “culture” of our organization affects the way we feel and behave. The physical environment and the ethos of the organization are both variable and controlled and how they are stems from people with influence.

Charisma

If we like someone’s personality, or if we trust and respect the person, she/he is likely to be influential on us without consciously exerting any such influence.

Influence, then, stems from power sources. Consider your own situation, those above you, and those below you. What kinds of power do you have access to? What about your boss? How strong and durable are all these influence methods? Does trust based on personality endure if that trust is broken? Do you ever use negative power or has it ever been used against you or within your organization?



Template



Planning Sheet


17 How shall I tell them?

DESCRIPTION Through this activity, participants are allowed to explore the relative advantages and disadvantages of the three main types of communication.


Be aware of the advantages and disadvantages of the three main types of communication and the importance of the context in deciding which to use.

Be able to decide upon the most appropriate form of communication to be used in given circumstances.


TIME 45 minutes

RESOURCES One copy each of Handout 17.1 and 17.2 for each participant

Three sheets of flipchart paper and three markers



Notes

Make reference to the objectives. You might wish to ask the group to identify the three main types of communication which are:

Written (to include letters and memos, reports, fax, electronic mail, etc.)

Telephone Face-to-face

125


METHOD(continued)

Step 2: Distribute Handout 17.1. As a full group, discuss and agree on the answers.

Notes

Allow 10 minutes.

The goal of the exercise is not to obtain the “right” answers, but to focus participants’ minds on why the answers may be seen as “right.”


Why did you choose to rule out that method? Why is that method better in that situation? What might happen if you used any of the other

methods? Why might that method help you to get across

your message more clearly? What barriers to effective communication might

that method create? Are there any circumstances in which it might

be useful to use a “rejected” method in the outlined situation?

How often do we base our use of communication method on what is available/ convenient, versus using the one that might achieve the best end result?

How might “best end result” be defined in each of the five situations described in Handout 17.1?

Step 3: Divide the group into three smaller groups. Issue a sheet of flipchart paper and marker to each group. Assign one of the three main communication methods (written, telephone, face-to-face) to each group and ask the groups to identify the advantages and disadvantages of their assigned method. Groups should write their lists on the flipchart paper.

Notes

Allow 10 minutes.

126

How shall I tell them?

METHOD(continued)

If necessary, you can ask the groups to assess the issues against the following criteria:

Efficiency Recipient reactions

Step 4: Reassemble as a complete group. Each group presents its flipchart page and the rationale for listing each entry under advantage or disadvantage.

Notes

Allow 15 minutes to include clarification and questions.


Did everyone agree on that?

How easy was it to categorize advantages and disadvantages?

Are advantages in one context disadvantages in another?

How important is the context in deciding the pros and cons of each method?

Step 5: Conduct a short general discussion.

Notes

Allow 10 minutes.

A summary of some of the points that most com-monly emerge is included in Handout 17.2, to be issued at the end of the activity. Emphasize that advantages in some circumstances may be disad-vantages in others. The group might be able to think of examples. Suppose that an advantage of written communication has been identified as “The recipi-ent can’t argue!” Could this ever be a disadvantage, and how? (Possibly, if your own ideas are only half-formed, a healthy argument can be very useful.)


How often do we actively consider which communication method is most appropriate to a given situation?

127


METHOD(concluded)

How do we normally decide (e.g., convenience, speed, what we’re most used to or comfortable with)?

What skills are needed to use each method effectively?

Do participants feel a need for further training/ development/practice in such skills?

How might this be achieved? How far does confidence and practice in a given

method influence its regularity of use?

Step 6: Distribute Handout 17.2 and conclude the activity.

Notes

Participants may add to Handout 17.2 anything that has emerged from the activity.

128

Handout 17.1

Exercise

Decide which form(s) of communication would not be appropriate in the following five situations and place an check () in the relevant column(s).

Wri

tten

Tel

epho

ne

Face

-to-

Face

1. You need to check an up-to-date catalog price.

2. You are worried by a subordinate’s attitude and performance at work. How would you arrange a meeting to discuss it?

3. You cannot attend an important meeting next month. You know that this will displease your regional manager at Head Office. How would you convey this and the reasons to her/him?

4. You have worked for a month on a project that your company supports, but some of the ideas will be seen as unusual and possibly risky. You can, however, demonstrate significant potential image and profit advantages. You need to alert the managing director to this before the main board meeting where your presentation is already scheduled.

5. A new directive from Head Office requires an immediate change in operations from your team.


Handout 17.2

A Summary of Features of ThreeMain Communication Methods

These features are not listed in terms of their advantages and disadvantages, since these depend on the context. They are, however, important and are worth considering. Please add any others that may have been discussed in your training course.

Written Telephone Face-to-Face


Better for detailed, com-plex material

Enables records to be kept and referred to

Can be corrected, up-dated and, generally, be more considered

Gives recipient time to think

Has greater status than other forms, especially if typed (neatly)

Keeps recipient at arm’s length

Defuses initial emotional responses

Various formats and lay-outs can be used to good effect, including diagrams

Impersonal Accuracy should be high Language can be used

more precisely to express ideas most effectively

Recipient cannot argue! More prone to elicit an

“official” response that goes “on the record”

People are more “tied” to the written word; less scope for argument over interpretation or what was actually said

People have a stronger commitment to what is on paper because of its perceived higher status

Quick Good for simple facts Good for dealing with

single issues Needs to be clear on

opening gambit Less directly personal

than face-to-face Useful for followup

action May be a resented

interruption for the recipient

Possibly cheapest Good for maintaining

established relationships Not possible to interpret

visual messages

Allows personality to show

More intimate Subtle (and unsubtle)

body language messages can be interpreted

Complex issues can be explored in depth

Easier to check understanding

Feelings can be communicated

Practical demonstrations can be given

Easier to take control (or to be dominated!)

Appropriate for discussion of confidential material

Allows for nuance Allows for uncertainty to

be expressed and dealt with

Handout 17.2


18 I wish you hadn’t asked me that!

DESCRIPTION A technique is provided through this activity for dealing effectively with questions and remarks that are perceived as personally intrusive.


Be familiar with the concepts of aggressive, passive, and assertive responses to intrusive questions.

Be able to distinguish between these responses.

Be able to deal effectively with questions that are felt to be personally intrusive.


TIME 90 minutes

RESOURCES One copy each of Handouts 18.1 and 18.2 for each participant


Notes

Assertive responses are not to be confused with aggressive responses. Assertive responses respect the rights of all concerned in an exchange and this activity will help participants to be clear about the true nature of assertive behavior.

Step 2: Distribute Handout 18.1. Discuss the concepts of aggressive, passive, and assertive behavior.

Notes

Allow 15 minutes.

Draw attention to the bill of rights (which forms part of Handout 18.1) and stress that the rights apply to both parties involved in any interaction (which

I wish you hadn’t asked me that!

METHOD(continued)

means that the exercise of one person’s rights must not negate or infringe on another’s).

Draw attention to the last right. If one felt obliged to be assertive all the time, this itself could be seen as oppressive and thus a denial of rights. (The bill of rights appears in Activity 5 also.)

If you wish to give examples of each, you could use the following:

A boss asks her/his secretary to stay late. The secretary has already made arrangements for that evening. Possible responses to the boss are:

Aggressive: “You’re always so unreasonable! How can you expect me to drop everything on such short notice? You’re the worst boss I’ve ever worked for!”

Passive: “Yes, of course” (then spends 20 minutes telephoning to undo arrangements and causing great inconvenience to several friends).

Assertive: “I know this is an important task, but I’ve made other arrangements for this evening. I will do it first thing in the morning.”

Step 3: Distribute Handout 18.2 and ask participants to work through it on their own.

Notes

Allow 10 minutes.

This exercise is self-explanatory.

Step 4: As a complete group, direct the two statements from Handout 18.2 to members of the group at random and ask each to give an aggressive response.

Notes

Allow 10 minutes.

135


METHOD(continued)

Use each statement 5 or 6 times, ensuring that everyone has a turn to respond. Get the group to comment on the responses and help participants to be clear about whether the response is truly aggressive or not. Look particularly for body language as well as for use of words.

Examples:

Statement 1 aggressive responses: “Tough!” “That’s your problem, isn’t it!”

Statement 2 aggressive responses: “That’s my business!” “Why should it?”

Step 5: Repeat Step 4, but this time ask for passive responses.

Notes

Allow 10 minutes and proceed as for Step 4.

Examples:

Statement 1 passive responses: “Yes, I know.” “I’m so sorry…”

Statement 2 passive responses: “I’m afraid that is possible.” “Oh dear, I hadn’t thought of that.”

Step 6: Repeat Step 4, but this time ask for assertive responses.

Notes

Allow 10 minutes and proceed as for Step 4.

Observe once again the body language being used. Assertive language can often be negated by passive or aggressive nonverbal behavior.

Examples:

Statement 1 assertive responses: “I know it will cause difficulty but I feel it’s time I moved on.” “I’m sorry you feel that way but I do need a change.”

136

I wish you hadn’t asked me that!

METHOD(concluded)

Statement 2 assertive responses: “No. My child care arrangements are very satisfactory.” “No, I take my work responsibilities very seriously.”

Step 7: Relate the activity to an actual experience.

Notes

Allow 20 minutes.

Ask participants for any examples they may wish to share of recent exchanges at work or at home where they feel they have failed to be assertive, or conversely, where they feel they have behaved assertively.


Can you describe the experience? How did you feel afterward? If your response was non-assertive, how could

you have responded more assertively? What experience do you have of assertive

behavior in others? What view do you have of such people?

Is anyone facing a situation in the future where they would like to be assertive? Why?

137


Behavior Types

Three contrasting behavior types may be identified in interpersonal relationships.

Aggressive

Aggressive behavior denies that other people have rights. It may be characterized by anger, hostility, bullying, shouting, threatening lan-guage, and nonverbal behavior, abuse, and a wish to punish or humiliate.

Some effects of aggressive behavior are: interpersonal conflict, subse-quent guilt, frustration, poor self-image, lost opportunities, stress, feeling of being out of control, dislike of others, loneliness and isolation, anger. Many of these apply to both the aggressive person and the recipient.

Passive

Passive behavior denies one’s own rights. It may be characterized by body language (e.g., downcast eyes), apologetic phrases, inappropriate acceptance of blame, use of phrases like “I wonder if…,” “Could you just…,” “I wonder if I could possibly…,” “Would you mind very much if…” and “Of course, it’s really not that important.” The underlying belief is that other people’s needs always take precedence; self-effacement is the order of the day.

Some effects of passive behavior are: interpersonal conflict, depression, helplessness, poor self-image, hurting self, lost opportunities, stress, feeling of being out of control, dislike of self and others, loneliness and isolation, anger with self.

Assertive

Assertive behavior acknowledges one’s own rights as well as those of other people. It may be characterized by confident body language (e.g., upright posture, good eye contact, a steady voice), and language that clearly articulates the speaker’s needs while acknowledging that others have needs too. Assertive behavior enables a person to present ideas effectively in a confident and straightforward manner. It leaves the speaker satisfied that she/he has been true to “thine own self” and it leaves the receiver(s) clear about the speaker’s needs yet does not feel threatened.


Handout 18.1

Some effects of assertive behavior are: solves problems, good feelings about self and others, feelings of satisfaction, is good to self and others, creation and maximization of opportunities, relaxed, calm, feelings of being in control of self.

As you can see, aggressive and passive behavior patterns are counter-productive. They lead to breakdowns of communication and cause “side-effects.” Assertive behavior patterns, on the other hand, can significantly enhance interpersonal communication and group effectiveness.

A “bill of rights,” which is commonly used in assertiveness training, is a valuable guide to identifying both your own and other people’s rights.

A Bill of Rights

Everyone has the right to…

Be treated as an equal, regardless of gender, race, age, or disability

Be treated as a capable human being

Say “no” without feeling guilty

State feelings and thoughts without having to justify or make apologies (so long as this does not infringe on the rights of others)

Change his/her mind

Say she/he does not understand

Ask for information

Make mistakes (and take responsibility for them)

Take time to make decisions

Set his/her own priorities and make decisions accordingly

Ask for what she/he wants (while acknowledging that the other person has the right to say “no”)

Decline to be responsible for other people’s problems

Look after his/her own needs, and to be alone if necessary

Choose how to behave/respond in a given situation, including the right to choose not to be assertive



Exercise

Imagine yourself on the receiving end of each of the two statements below. For each one, think of:

An aggressive response A passive response An assertive response

Write in the spaces provided.

Statement 1: “I hear you’re looking for another job. That’s really going to cause us a lot of trouble, you know.”

Aggressive response:

Passive response:

Assertive response:


Handout 18.2

Statement 2: “I see you’re a single parent. If we gave you this job, doesn’t that mean you’ll be off work a lot?”

Aggressive response:

Passive response:

Assertive response:



19 I Fear the Worst

DESCRIPTION This activity identifies a problem-solving and decision- making technique. It can also be a powerful way for managers and supervisors to reduce stress and feelings of isolation by beginning to make closer relationships, through a limited degree of self-disclosure, with others who may face similar problems. By self-disclosure we mean the process of talking with another about matters that are normally not revealed in everyday interaction. This is not of a very high-risk order in this activity, but it is best carried out where some degree of rapport exists between course members.


Have practiced a decision-making technique and applied it to an actual work issue.

Be aware of the extent to which self-disclosure can create rewarding interpersonal relationships and can help to minimize stress, feelings of isolation, and problem-solving blockages.

Have identified the interpersonal skills necessary to ensure the success of implementing the technique at work.


Appropriate for those responsible for making complex decisions

TIME 2 hours and 30 minutes


One sheet of flipchart paper for each participant

Marker for each pair of participants

Flipchart stand and marker for trainerReproduced from 50 Activities for Interpersonal Skills Training

Sue Bishop and David Taylor, HRD Press, Inc., 1991



Notes:

The activity is probably best introduced as an aid to decision-making. It has been successfully used by many managers to “unblock” themselves when faced with complex decisions. It is natural to become locked into the gnawing anxiety produced by the “What if…?” syndrome. We start to fear the worst and this brings not only stress but often the inability to make the decision.

This activity will give participants experience using a simple technique for analyzing the realities of the well-known “What if…?” syndrome.

Step 2: Ask the group to divide up into pairs (one triad will do if there is an odd number of participants).

Notes:

Pairing should be on a voluntary basis with individuals allowed to choose a partner with whom they feel comfortable.

Step 3: Distribute a copy of Handout 19.1 to each participant together with two sheets of flipchart paper and one marker to each pair (three sheets for a triad).

Notes:

Allow a few moments for reading.

Step 4: Explain that you will now allow each pair/ triad 90 minutes to explore the issues and questions raised in the exercise.

Notes:

Instructions for the exploration are contained in the preamble to the exercise.

144

I Fear the Worst

METHOD(continued)

Step 5: Start the exercise.

Notes:

Keep an eye on the pairs to ensure that judgments are being suspended in the early part of each exploration.

Give a time check after 45 minutes have elapsed.

Step 6: Stop the exercise. If possible, have a short refreshment break. Reassemble for some immediate reactions to the technique.

Notes:


Was that an easy exercise to carry out?

It was rooted in “real life;” did that make it any different from other types of off-the-job training activity? Why?

Was it easy to share the problem? If so, why? If not, why not?

Is it a technique you might use again? If not, why not?

If you would use it again, who would you discuss it with in the work situation? Or could it be done on your own? What would be the advantages and disadvantages of sharing versus doing it on your own?

Step 7: Try to determine the outcomes of the activity as far as the problems under scrutiny are concerned.

Notes:


Is the problem really as bad, after analysis, as it seemed on the basis of initial, unconsidered fears?

Does each person feel that she/he has identified some plan or action that might reduce the probability of the catastrophe happening or at least provide a measure of “damage control?”

145


METHOD(continued)

If not, what happened?

If yes, how does it feel to have some kind of contingency plan in mind should the worst happen?

Step 8: Now discuss the interpersonal relationships aspects of this activity.

Notes:


Is the idea of sharing a complex work problem with someone (probably) not directly involved with it a technique you already use?

If so, does it work? What are the beneficial effects? Are there any disadvantages?

If you haven’t tried it before, how do you feel about it now?

Is self-disclosure painful? Does it help toward a closer mutual understanding? Might practicing it as a conscious technique improve how you communicate or not? Why?

How do you feel about your partner now? Could you use his/her help again in a similar situation? Would you?

Decision-makers are often conditioned into thinking that admission of uncertainty or indecision is a sign of weakness. Is it?

We should, perhaps, have these discussions of problem analysis with our “bosses.” To what extent can we do this, in reality?

If today’s partner is not available, or is not appropriate, can you think of anyone else with whom you could develop such a relationship?

To what extent are feelings of isolation experienced by decision-makers in organizations?

146

I Fear the Worst

METHOD(concluded)

What interpersonal skills are necessary in each partner for this activity to be a successful tool? Try listing them. (They are likely to include such skills as empathy, listening, counseling, ability to be non-judgmental, sense of humor, and so on.)

Could such a skills inventory help to identify a potential future partner?

Does such a partner have to be a co-worker? What are the pros and cons of using friends, relatives, and other work contacts?

147

Handout 19.1

ExerciseIntroductionThe following activity will take you through a number of stages where you will examine the much-feared, often ill-considered, worst possible outcomes of a difficult or complex work decision that faces you now.

Each person will have 45 minutes in which to work through the steps in consultation with her/his partner; the whole activity will take 90 minutes.

If you are describing your problem, use your partner as a sounding-board, both to clarify the problem and to test possible consequences.

If you are listening, do it actively. Ask clarifying questions. Be non-judgmental, at least in the early stages of the activity. Be clear in your own mind and, as the discussion moves into stage three, start to challenge (supportively) assumptions or fears that seem unreal or exaggerated. They may not be; help your partner to establish their reality and degree.

Above all, do not be a threat to your partner. The problem itself may be a sufficient threat on its own, without your help!

Use the flipchart paper and marker at all stages if it seems helpful. You will not be required to display it or discuss it later.

Now decide who will go first.



Action1. Identify a real problem at work on which you are going to have to

make some sort of decision in the near future. Outline the nature of the problem—why it has arisen and the complexities—to your partner. Use the flipchart if you need to illustrate anything; this can often save a lot of words!

2. List on the flipchart the various courses of action open to you to deal with the problem.

3. List the worst things that could happen if your course of action went disastrously wrong. Imagine the worst possible outcome—be unbearably pessimistic!

4. Take each catastrophe in turn. Imagine it has actually happened. Use the checklist below to stimulate discussion with your partner.

How would you feel in this terrible situation?

Is it really so dreadful, or are your fears exaggerated? Where do your fears stem from?

Again assuming it has actually happened, what are you going to do now? What plans could you formulate? How are you going to cope with it?

What could you do to lessen its bad effects? You could try completing the sentence “Things might not be so bad if only I…”


20 I’d Like to Know

DESCRIPTION Questioning techniques intended for participants who are, or will be, involved in selection interviewing are reviewed in this activity. However, by amending the examples given on the exercise sheet, it can be applied to counseling, grievance, disciplinary, appraisal, or termination interviews.


Be aware of the different kinds of questions an interviewer can ask.

Have assessed the effectiveness of various types of questioning in differing situations.

Have discussed inappropriate questioning and looked at alternative ways of obtaining necessary information from the interviewee.


Appropriate for those new to selection interviewing

TIME 2 hours and 30 minutes

RESOURCES Enough space and seating for the entire group to meet together, and for up to four subgroups to be able to work independently (separate rooms not required if the main activity area is large enough)

Tables/clipboards or some other means for lap-top writing

Notepaper and pencil/pen for each participant

One copy each of Handout 20.1 and 20.2 for each participant

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METHOD Step 1: Introduce the activity, its purpose, and objectives.

Notes:

Poor questioning technique helps neither the inter-viewee nor the interviewer. It can limit the effective exchange of information. Inappropriate questioning can unsettle, even distress the candidate. In some organizations, this can result in repercussions for the interviewer; e.g., where the question of discrimination is involved. This activity addresses both issues.

Step 2: Distribute Handout 20.1 to each participant. Brief the group on procedure and timing of the first part of the exercise.

Notes:

Participants will be assigned to work in a subgroup of three to four people.

The exercise sheet is divided into three columns. A number of statements/questions is printed in the center column. Participants should not annotate columns 1 or 3 at this stage, but will discuss, in their groups, the advantages and/or disadvantages of using this questioning format in a selection interview. “Scratch” paper will be provided for notes.

Allow subgroups 30 minutes to complete this part of the exercise and will then be asked to report back to the main group; a spokesperson from each subgroup should be elected.

Step 3: Divide group into subgroups of three to four participants. Have subgroups begin working.

Notes:

Circulate around the subgroups, ensuring that they are “on target.” Give a time check after 20 minutes.

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I’d Like to Know

METHOD(continued)

Step 4: After 30 minutes, tell subgroups to stop work. Taking subgroups in rotation, ask for their responses to each of the statements/questions.

Notes:

There are no “right” or “wrong: answers to most of the examples given, but a consensus should be sought on good/bad technique, preferable approaches, and appropriate/inappropriate questioning formats (see Trainer’s Notes).

As each question/statement is discussed, participants may now add their own notes to column 3 on the exercise sheet. These notes are for their information only and can take whatever form is most useful to the individual.

Step 5: Distribute and review Handout 20.2.

Notes:

Allow 5 minutes for individuals to read and assimi-late this information.

Step 6: Tell participants that they are now to match each statement/question on Handout 20.1 with a ques-tioning technique as illustrated in Handout 20.2.

Notes:

Participants may work alone, in pairs, or in their subgroups. As with the first stage in the exercise, participants should make rough notes, but not annotate their sheets at this point. Allow up to 30 minutes for this part of the exercise.

Step 7: Using Handout 20.2 as the basis for discus-sion, the whole group should reach a consensus on which technique applies to each example.

Notes:

Participants may now complete column 1 on Hand-out 20.1, matching an agreed technique to each statement/question.

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METHOD(concluded)

Step 8: Draw group’s attention to any part of Handout 20.2 not already covered at Step 7.

Notes:

For example, trick questions or rhetorical questions may not have been fully covered. Ask the group if they can think of examples of such questioning.

Step 9: There are some types of questions that should be avoided; others that should never be asked at interview. Lead a discussion on inappropriate questioning.

Notes:


What lines of questioning should be avoided?

Response could be “interviewer’s own interest pursued at unreasonable length;” “Questioning irrelevant to the job satisfaction;” etc.

What questions should an interviewer never ask?

Responses could include “Questions that discriminate on the grounds of gender or race;” “Questions that violate legislation” (employment laws, etc.).

Do all organizations have the same “rules” regarding the above?

If it is necessary to gain information, but the interviewer feels that a direct question could be seen as discriminatory or unfair, what options are open to the interviewer?

What could an interview panelist do if she/he feels that another panelist’s question to an applicant is discriminatory or unfair?

Step 10: Address any further observations from the group. Conclude the activity referring back to the objectives.

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I’d Like to Know

TRAINER’S NOTES

There are no “right” or “wrong” answers to the questions in Handout 20.1. However, the following suggestions might be helpful:

1. A closed question. “Yes” and “no” responses have limited value, but such questions do at least have the merit of establishing facts quickly (e.g., “I understand from what you are saying that you prefer to work as part of a team, is that right?”). Such questions can summarize, can check mutual understanding, and can move the discussion forward.

2. Another closed question where only a subjective response is possible. Specific questioning would be more productive (e.g., “What is your typing speed?” or “What kind of typing do you do in your present job?”).

3. A direct, general question, but one that is perhaps too vague and that could unsettle the applicant. What type of personal information does the interviewer want? Far better to question a specific area (e.g., “Tell me about the work you have done since leaving school,” or “You say that you enjoy community work. Tell me a bit more about that.”).

4. An open, general question that is specific and gives the applicant a free hand to ‘sell” transferable skills. For example, if an applicant is treasurer of a local club, this experience would be useful in a job that requires these skills.

5. An open question, but a bit vague; the applicant could begin a long narrative giving a blow-by-blow account of every minute of the working day! The information required is better obtained if the question is phrased as suggestion 6 below.

6. A much better open question; specific, and requires expansion by the applicant.

7. A probing question that encourages the interviewee to give more information, amplify opinions, etc.

8. An open question, but too personal/blunt. Indirect questioning or alternative technique would be more appropriate if obtaining this information is necessary.

9. A probing question. As with suggestion 8, could promote hostility/defensiveness/unsettle the interviewee.

155


10. A linking question. Good technique. Shows interviewer has been listening. Moves interview forward. Provides continuity.

11. A reflective question. Repeating or rephrasing the candidate’s last words with a questioning inflection can be used to confirm the interviewer’s understanding, and/or to suggest to the candidate that the interviewer has not understood the information or requires more.

12. Another reflective question. Paraphrasing the interviewee’s point can be used to clarify understanding, or to stop any “waffling” by summing up and moving the interview forward.

13. A multiple question. Which question does the interviewer want answered?

14. A multiple question whereby two thoughts are expressed, but linked in a way that could produce a more meaningful response from the applicant.

15. A hypothetical question. Difficult to answer if the applicant has never been in this situation, but can be useful to test applicant’s problem-solving ability.

16. Another hypothetical question. This situation may never arise. In any case, it is a discriminatory question and should not be asked.

17. A closed, but also loaded question. It can be assumed that some importance is attached to the issue of smoking by the questioner, but the applicant does not know whether the person asking the question favors a smoker, or whether preference would be given to applications from non-smokers. It can unsettle an applicant to be put into this “Catch 22” situation.

18. As with suggestion 17, a loaded question, but useful to test whether the applicant has considered all aspects of the job. It gives the applicant an opportunity to demonstrate how she/he would overcome any foreseen difficulties.

19. A leading question, which indicates the interviewer’s own point of view, and puts the applicant in an awkward position if she/he disagrees.

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20. Better version of a leading question because the applicant is indirectly given the opportunity to show how a potential problem could be overcome.

21. A good general specific question.

22. An open, probing, but unfair question. Commitment to equal opportunities would have to be tested by more appropriate questioning.

23. A better example of a probing question. Good way to obtain more information from the candidate.

24. Vague request to answer a hypothetical question.

25. A forced choice question. There are other variables! An unfair/ discriminatory question.

26. Another forced choice question. There are pros and cons to both. Not a well-phrased question.

27. There are only two alternatives, so an appropriate use of a forced choice question.

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Handout 20.1

Exercise

Type ofQuestion Example Notes

1. Can you type?2. Are you a good typist?3. Tell me about yourself.4. Tell us how any of your

outside activities have relevance to this job.

5. What do you do in your present job?

6. What are the duties of your present job?

7. That’s interesting; could you tell me more about that?

8. Why did your career take a change of direction in 1987?

9. I’m interested to know why you left your job at Asquith’s.

10.

Earlier you mentioned your fund-raising work for charity. Could you tell us more about the work that you did on finance?

11.

Candidate: “I retrieved this information from bar codes.”Interviewer: “Bar codes?”

12 Interviewer: “So what



. you’re saying is…”

(continued)



13.

How do you prioritize your workload? Do you get help from your manager—and how do you deal with deadlines?

14.

What pre-requirements had to be met, and how did this affect your decision?

15.

You will be managing a small team. Supposing there was friction between two members of your staff. What would you do?

16.

If you had to choose between attending a firm’s seminar and looking after your sick child, what would your priority be?

17.

Do you smoke?

18.

What problems do you foresee in this job?

19.

Don’t you think that too much time is devoted to that issue?

20.

Surely it would be impossible to implement such a system with this size of department?

21.

What do you understand by the term “equal opportunities?”

22.

How do you implement equal opportunities



outside work?

(continued)




23.

Expand on that…give me some examples.

24.

Describe your possible reactions to…

25.

Are you married or single?

26.

Do you prefer working alone or with others?

27.

Would you prefer to work fixed or flexible hours?


Handout 20.2

Questioning Techniques:Types of Questions

Asking pertinent questions of the appropriate kind is half the battle in getting the required answers from interviewees. The following types of questions are options open to the interviewer.

Closed

Closed questions are those that can be answered by Yes, No, or a one-word response. These are of some value for quickly establishing facts, or confirming or summarizing answers to questions. The disadvantage of closed questions is that they may not encourage the interviewee to give a thoughtful, full answer. For this reason, closed questions should be used selectively and, where possible, followed up by an open question.

Open

Open questions begin with the words Where, Who, why, When, What, How, or phrases such as “In what way…,” (i.e., those that cannot be answered by Yes or No). Open questions encourage the interviewee to expand his/her responses, and often elicit feelings and attitudes as well as facts.

Direct

An open question requiring a direct response; e.g., “Why did you take that approach?”

General

Questions to ascertain a candidate’s understanding of a concept, system, or views on a certain issue.

Specific

Specific questions focus on the candidate’s understanding of a concept, system, or view.



Probing

This type of question elicits more information from the interviewee; e.g., “How did that make you feel?” “Can you tell me more about that?” “Why was that?” Probing questions should be used to clarify understanding of information already offered by the interviewee.

Linking

Linking questions are useful for making smooth transitions from one topic to another; e.g., “Earlier you mentioned filing. What system do you use in your present job?”

Reflective

The interviewer repeats or rephrases the interviewee’s last words with a questioning inflexion in the voice. This type of questioning is useful to clarify understanding and sometimes to encourage the candidate to say more. If presented in summary form, it can be used by the interviewer to “step up” the interview (e.g., “So you’re saying that you enjoyed this aspect of your work? What experience have you had in…?”)

Multiple

When more than one question at once is asked, or a question is long and complex, it is likely to confuse both the candidate and the person who asked the question. The candidate may well answer only the last part of the question, or the part that suits him/her best. One thought; one question should be the maxim with follow-up questions, if necessary.

Hypothetical

Questions that begin with “What would you do if you found that…?” Used sparingly, and with care, hypothetical questions can be useful to test the interviewee’s reactions, thought processes, problem-solving ability, etc. The trouble comes if a hypothetical question relates to the interviewer’s personal knowledge of an actual job or work situation. This line of questioning may prompt the candidate to guess—“take a stab in the dark”—to try to find the “right” answer.



Loaded

Used badly, loaded questions can unsettle the applicant—put her/him on the defensive. A well-phrased loaded question, to test the applicant’s ability to think through an issue, can be useful in selection interviewing (e.g., “We operate a no smoking rule in our office. What do you see as the advantages and disadvantages of such a policy?”).

Leading

A leading question such as “I think it’s appalling, don’t you?” is usually a poor choice because the required answer is indicated in the question. Leading questions can be used to good effect if structured to check a person’s knowledge or attitudes (e.g., “You wouldn’t exclude a client for that reason would you?”).

Imperative

These direct questions are of some value, especially if followed by an open question. Imperative questions are requests made in the form of an instruction (e.g., “Tell me how you would…”).

Forced Choice

The danger of asking an interviewee a question that requires making a choice in order to answer it is that there may be other options/broader issues involved (e.g., “Which do you prefer, typing or filing?”). The applicant may not have a preference, may dislike both, may like some aspects of either or both, etc.

A good question elicits the best response possible from a candidate. Think before phrasing a question, and ask yourself which of the above options is the most effective way of asking it.


21 Is there anybody there?

DESCRIPTION This activity shows that listening is a communication skill that should be learned and practiced. It also con-siders the barriers to listening and how they can be overcome. This activity could be followed by Activity 41.


Recognize the importance of effective listening in interpersonal communication.

Have examined the various environmental, psychological, and personal barriers to effective listening.

Have considered ways of improving listening skills.

PARTICIPANTS Any number of participantsSuitable for any type of participant. With minor adaptations in how the activity is introduced, it can be used on a wide variety of training courses from basic communication skill input to specific interviewing skills courses.

TIME 60 minutes

RESOURCES Flipchart stand, paper, and markers for trainer’s use One copy each of Handouts 21.1 and 21.2 for each

participant

METHOD Step 1: Open the activity with a short explanation of why effective listening is essential to good interper-sonal communication and why listening is often an underrated skill.

Notes:

At school we are taught to read and write. As small children, we learn speech from the adults around us and develop this skill, increasing our vocabulary as we progress through life.

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METHOD(continued)

Listening skills, however, is an aspect of communi-cation that is not taught and seldom practiced or developed. We tend to think that listening is a natural function—inborn, automatic. Provided we have no physical hearing disability, most of us assume that we already know how to listen, so why a training session on how to listen effectively?

Effective communication is a two-way process. We all admire and would like to emulate articulate, elo-quent speakers, but how often do we acknowledge that a person is a good listener? Speaker and listener are partners in communication, however, and both roles are equally important if full understanding is to take place.

Step 2: Explain why training in listening skills is necessary.

Notes:

Oral communication is an interchange between the speaker and the listener. There is little point in one speaking if the other is not listening and everyone must have experienced the hurt, annoyance, or demoralization when a person “switches off” from a conversation and stops listening or paying full attention.

Many communication problems can be traced to poor listening; in fact, the inability to listen effectively causes many of the problems we experience in our relationships with other people.

More credit is given to spoken aspects of communi-cation. Speaking is active; listening is seen as a pas-sive activity, which often results in conversations where two people deliver short monologues, both interested only in their own contribution, impatiently waiting for their turn to speak, not really listening to the other’s ideas or point of view.

We spend most of our waking lives communicating in one form or another. A survey has shown that on average, adults divide their communication time in

170

Is there anybody there?

METHOD(continued)

the following way: 9 percent writing, 16 percent reading, 30 percent speaking, 45 percent listening.

Nearly half our time is spent listening, yet most of us do not listen well, largely because we can think far faster than we can speak. In fact, our brains can process approximately 800 words in the time it takes us to speak 125 words, which gives our minds a lot of spare thinking time while we are listening to a person speak. While this spare capacity can be used together our own thoughts together in order to respond to the speaker or to evaluate what she/he is saying, it also allows time for the mind to wander. This is inevitable and natural, but with practice the spare capacity can be put to effective use; we can learn to daydream less and to concentrate more.

There is a difference between listening and hearing; they are two very different processes, yet it is often assumed that they are the same. Our ears pick up all the sounds around us, transferring these auditory messages to the brain for processing.

If we were able to listen to all these sounds at once, we would be concentrating simultaneously, for example, on bird song, traffic noise, the rustling of papers, the hum of office machinery, the buzz of a trapped fly against the window, etc., plus the voice of the speaker. It would be impossible to concentrate on all of these noises at once, so our brains select which of these sounds we will listen to at any one time. Listening is therefore a cognitive process that is under our control. We hear many things, but our listening is selective.

Listening should not be a passive activity. Effective listening requires concentration, energy, and a good deal of mental agility. In order to develop listening skills an awareness of what stops us from listening should first be considered.

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METHOD(concluded)

Step 3: “Brainstorm” barriers to listening.

Notes:

Ask the group to think of anything that hinders or stops us from listening, and to call out their ideas. List all of these on the flipchart, grouping them under headings such as Environmental barriers, Linguistic barriers, Psychological barriers, etc. if appropriate to the group (otherwise list ideas randomly).

Some barriers that might emerge are shown in Handout 21.1, which can be used as a trainer’s guide, but ideas should come from the group at this stage.

Step 4: Distribute Handout 21.1.

Notes:

For ease of reference, the barriers in the handout have been listed under headings. Go through it discussing any areas not already covered by the brainstorming session.

Step 5: Lead a discussion on why it is important to practice listening skills, and what can be done to improve effective listening.

Notes:

Do this either by an open discussion of the issues involved, or by using Handout 21.2 as a reference.


Notes:

When considering “How well do I communicate?” it is sometimes a good idea not to concentrate on how well our verbal and non-verbal messages are received, but to ask ourselves “How well do I listen to people?” because the role of speaker and listener are of equal importance in effective communication.

172

Handout 21.1

Barriers to Listening

Barriers to listening take many forms. It is inevitable that barriers will exist in any interaction, but anything that stops concentration, allowing the mind to wander off the topic, must be recognized and overcome if fully successful communication is to take place.

Environmental BarriersThe following, if encountered, can make us “switch off” from what is being said, to allow our minds to temporarily concentrate on our surroundings:

room too hot; too cold chair too hard; too soft lighting too bright; too dim drafts bad ventilation; stuffy/smoky atmosphere noise (a telephone) sights (a window cleaner) smells (of perfume fragrance/cigar smoke) interruptions

Linguistic BarriersLinguistic barriers originate with the speaker and make it difficult for her/him to be listened to:

jargon or specialist language complex sentences complex vocabulary patronizing manner delivery too fast/too slow and ponderous monotonous voice hesitant manner (too many “umms” and “errs”) inappropriate tone badly organized material delivery too loud; too quiet



Psychological BarriersEmotional states that are either brought to the communication (e.g., the listener is already upset or stressed) or result from it (e.g., something is said that provokes anger, disbelief, distress) can come between what is being said and effective listening and understanding:

own anxiety anger frustration (inability to get own views across) status difference prejudice perceived difference in class/ability/seniority/experience

Physiological BarriersThe physical condition of the listener can affect concentration and restrict the amount of information taken in:

headache fatigue discomfort, pain, illness poor eyesight hearing impairment

Some people may find it difficult to listen to a speaker who has a physical disability or speech impediment.

Perceptual BarriersThe speaker and the listener sometimes see the same situation from a different point of view and this can affect understanding (e.g., a short steward and management or parent and child). Examples of other perceptual barriers are:

social/cultural background differences attitude unexpected expectations are different appearance of speaker (scruffy, younger/older than expected,

green hair!) mannerisms accents



Content BarriersWhat the speaker is saying may also be a barrier to the listener:

subject of discussion doesn’t interest us speaker goes on for too long speaker is saying what we don’t want to hear (criticism;

suggesting change, etc.) you’ve heard it all before content too difficult/simplistic content repetitious

Personal BarriersThe listener may put up personal barriers:

preoccupied with own problems thinking about own response without hearing the speaker looking for every opportunity to interrupt monopolizing the conversation by trying to dominate speaking

time; i.e., impatience with the listening role


Handout 21.2

Why should we practice listening?

There are many reasons why listening skills are important:

What the person is saying is important to them. To give less than your full attention shows lack of respect for that person’s views.

If full attention is not given to all of what a person has to say, assumptions can be made that distorts full understanding.

Vital information can be missed if our minds get sidetracked.

If we concentrate fully on the speaker, we also “listen” to the unspoken message. We listen on two levels; first to the content—the words used—and second to the nonverbal signals sent out by the speaker, picking up clues from the gestures and facial expression. This second level of listening helps us interpret what the speaker is saying.

A good listener encourages and facilitates effective communication. Effective listening is an essential factor in interpersonal relationships.

How can listening skills be improved?What can be done to improve listening? The following are some suggestions:

Practice concentration. Listen to a television or radio program such as a news broadcast (a video or tape recorder will help). How much of a ten-minute broadcast can you remember?

Use spare thinking time more effectively. Think about what the speaker is saying; what words are being used; what her/his body language and nonverbal communication are telling you.

Practice mentally summarizing what the speaker is saying. In your mind, separate what is important from repetitious or supporting material. Listen for main ideas, principles, and concepts.

Listen analytically; can the speaker support her/his views? Where is the evidence for what is being said?

Without interrupting so that you can present your own views, join in the conversation by asking for clarification, summarizing the speaker’s views as you see them, to encourage the speaker to continue.



Make encouraging comments to let the speaker know that you are still interested and concentrating on what she/he has to say.

Maintain good eye contact. Show by your posture and facial expression that you are interested.

Remember that listening is not a passive activity. It is hard work and needs sensitivity, patience and, above all, practice.


22 It Looks Like This

DESCRIPTION This activity demonstrates the importance of logical thinking in effective communication, and to demon-strate the necessity of mutual participation if full understanding between the giver and receiver of a message is to be guaranteed.


Understand that assumptions cannot be made about the receiver of communication, their understanding of vocabulary or terminology or jargon.

Have identified the need to give instructions in a logical sequence.

Understand the importance of regularly checking to see that communication has been heard and understood.

Have recognized that there is joint responsibility between the speaker and listener in effective communication.


This activity has been used successfully in courses ranging from operations and clerical staff to junior management.

TIME 30 minutes

RESOURCES Paper (8½ x 11) for each participant

Pencil/pen for each participant

Copy of Trainer’s Notes


179



Notes:

Explain that the following exercise is about two-way communication, speaking and listening, and the ability to give and receive instructions.

Do not refer to the objectives at this stage.

Step 2: Explain that one person should volunteer; she/he will be giving instructions. Other course members will complete a task as directed by the volunteer.

Notes:

Ask the other participants to wait for a few moments while you brief the volunteer. Take her/him outside the main course room, taking with you a copy of your Trainer’s Notes. (Same exercise but versions are of different complexity. Use the one appropriate to the ability of the group.)

Step 3: Brief the volunteer.

Notes:

Give the volunteer a copy of the Trainer’s Notes. Explain that she/he will face the group so that the design on the plan cannot be seen by course partici-pants. The volunteer will instruct the group that they are to reproduce exactly, on a sheet of 8½ x 11 paper, the design shown on the plan.

These are the rules:

1. The volunteer must not, at any stage in the instructions, show the plan to the group.

2. The volunteer must not use her/his hands to “draw” the shapes in the air.

3. The volunteer can only use words to describe the design to be reproduced by the group.

4. The volunteer can check, at any time, with the group or individuals within the group that they have heard and understood.

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It Looks Like This

METHOD(continued)

5. The goal is that, at the end of the instruction, every participant will have reproduced exactly, in every detail, the design shown on the plan.

Allow the volunteer a few minutes to plan instruc-tions while the others in the group are briefed.

Explain that on returning to the course room, the volunteer will be giving instructions that the group has to follow. The task will be for each individual to reproduce, on a sheet of the 8½ x 11 paper, a design known only to the trainer and the volunteer.

Step 4: Brief the group.

Notes:

These are the rules:

1. The volunteer may not show you the plan; you are to work from her/his instructions only.

2. You may not show the volunteer your work or ask for personal guidance.

3. You may ask questions for the purposes of clarification or for an instruction to be repeated.

Step 5: Distribute a sheet of 8½ x 11 paper and a pen/pencil to each person. Ask the volunteer to return to the course room. Begin the exercise.

Notes:

Do not interrupt or interfere with the instruction or any dialog between the volunteer and participant unless to reinforce the rules.

Make a note of the instructions given; for example:

Whether or not the volunteer began by explaining the task to the group (setting the scene);

Explained his/her rules (organizational constraints);

Whether everyone understood the language being used (establishing parameters for the task).

Did the volunteer give the instructions logically?

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METHOD(continued)

Was all the necessary information given for satisfactory completion of the task?

Was there any confusion of ideas or sequencing? Did the volunteer check that the group or

individuals were coping with the task—at all stages, just at the end or not at all?

Did the volunteer seem aware of participants’ confusion (if any), anxiety (if any)? If so, how did she/he cope with it?

Observe the group members as the exercise progresses. Note the following:

Were there signs of confusion or anxiety? How did this manifest itself? Did everyone who seemed confused ask for

clarification or for a set of instructions to be repeated or rephrased?

Did everyone ask questions? Was there any cheating going on (looking at a

neighbor’s work or copying)?

Step 6: When the instructions have been completed, thank the volunteer for her/his part in the exercise. Instruct participants to put their versions of the plan on the floor in front of them. Ask the volunteer to hold up the original plan so that everyone can compare her/his work with the original.

Notes:

Allow sufficient time for all versions to be compared and for course members to “unpack” their experience of the exercise. Help by first asking the volunteer and then the group how they felt while trying to complete the task.

Questions you might ask the volunteer:

Were you surprised that so many (so few) people accurately reproduced the plan from your instructions?

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It Looks Like This

METHOD(continued)

Was giving instructions easier or harder then you’d imagined?

What were the problems you encountered? Did you expect more or fewer people would

have been able to reproduce the plan exactly from your instructions?

Did you feel that the group was with you, or were you frustrated that there was a communication breakdown with some people?

With hindsight, what could you have done to make your part in the exercise more effective?

Questions you might ask the group:

What sort of emotions did you experience while trying to complete this task? (Anger, frustration, anxiety, boredom, confusion, annoyance, are usually expressed and need to be discussed.)

Did you attempt to communicate these feelings to the volunteer? If so, how? If not, why not?

What was the result of your not addressing these problems?

How do you think the volunteer could have improved his/her instruction?

What could you, as the receiver of information, have done to help the communication process?

Step 7: Discuss your observation notes with the group.

Notes:

The exercise will provide different elements of confusion, and difficulties each time it is done. The most common mistakes on the part of the information giver are:

Begins instruction without giving an overview of what the whole picture will look like; e.g., “…will be made up of six joining rectangles that will fill your page” does not establish whether or

183


METHOD(continued)

not people are conversant with geometrical terms such as rhombus, parallelogram, or even rectangle or oblong.

Confuses three-dimensional images with two-dimensiona; e.g., “the shape is like a matchbox..or a domino,” does not give dimensions, so that some participants end up with a tiny version of the plan in one corner of the page while others run out of space.

Cannot think of ways to describe top and bottom, left and right, such as north, south, east, west; hands of a clock; etc.

Confusion between giver and receivers’ right and left.

Gives too much information at one time rather than in “digestible chunks.”

Fails to observe receivers of information to pick up nonverbal signs of annoyance or confusion.

Fails to ask/establish whether a piece of information has been understood and acted upon before going on to the next.

Jumps back and forth between pieces of information, rather than logical sequencing.

The most common failings on the part of the receivers of information are:

Passivity.

Reticence in admitting that they don’t under-stand certain words or terms.

Failing to say they didn’t understand certain instructions.

Reluctance to ask for information to be repeated, or better still, rephrased for better understanding.

Worry about getting “lost” or left behind, so resorting to secondhand information from a neighbor (possibly equally misinformed and inaccurate) or resorting to cheating.

184

It Looks Like This

METHOD(concluded)

Hoping that the giver of information will guess from their sighs, expressions, body language that they are confused or in some other way unhappy with the situation.

When these signs are not picked up, annoyance with, or rejection of, the instructor, exercise, or both when the onus is on both parties to com-municate for effective understanding.

Step 8: Ask the group whether they have experienced communication breakdowns similar to the one demon-strated in this exercise in the workplace. Discuss the implications for both giver and receiver of instructions.

Notes:

Group members can usually think of instances when, for some reason, they have been reluctant to confess that they have not understood instructions from others.

Most people can also think of occasions when they have left a situation thinking they have been understood, only to find out later that the receiver of their communication had misunderstood all or part of the instructions, often with disastrous results.

Step 9: Distribute Handout 22.1. Conclude the activity by referring back to the objectives.

Notes:

Make sure that the group realizes that for effective communication, the onus is on both the giver and receiver of information to work actively toward mutual understanding.

185


TRAINER’S NOTES

186

It Looks Like This

187

Handout 22.1

Memorandum

Some tips for instructors/givers of information:

1. Before beginning detailed instruction, give an overview of the whole (e.g., what the end product will be; what the final version will look like; etc.).

2. Explain why a task has to be completed in a certain way/sequence if this is appropriate.

3. Establish the receivers’ prior/existing knowledge of the subject.

4. Check that the receiver is conversant with the jargon/terminology you are using.

5. Give information/instructions in a logical sequence.

6. Give information in manageable amounts; check at regular intervals that the receiver has understood your instructions to date.

7. Observe the receiver who will give visible signs, through facial expressions/body language, of understanding, or alternatively, confusion.

Some tips for receivers of information:

1. Listen “actively,” asking for clarification where necessary.

2. Ask for clarification if you don’t understand certain words or terms.

3. Ask the instructor to repeat information, if necessary.

4. Do not rely on someone else being able to “fill you in” later; ask the instructor to repeat or rephrase anything about which you are unclear.

5. Do not assume that the instructor will understand your feelings through your expressions or body language. Unless you tell her/him that you are confused, annoyed, or unhappy, the giver of information may assume that instructions have been heard and understood.

6. Remember that communication is a two-way process, and the onus is as much on the receiver of information as the giver if effective understanding is to be reached.


23 Just a Minute

DESCRIPTION This is an activity for those involved with any form of public speaking who would like to improve their ability to concentrate and to “think on their feet.” This could follow Activity 4.

OBJECTIVES By the end of this activity participants will have practiced preparing for, and will have delivered, a short presentation with just one minute’s notice of the topic for the talk.


Suitable for anyone who has to address groups of people, respond to spontaneous questioning from the floor, give sales demonstrations, reports at meetings, justify her/his views in debate, etc.

TIME Minimum of 10 minutes, depending on size of group and the number of “rounds.”

RESOURCES Scratch paper for participant note-taking Pencils/pens for participants’ use Preprinted topic cards (see Trainer’s Notes) A watch or clock with a second hand

METHOD Step 1: Introduce the activity, its procedures, and timing.

Notes:

This is a very simple activity to enable participants to practice spontaneous speaking. Printed on the cards are general topics that everyone will know something about. Participants will be chosen at random by the trainer. The first participant chosen will be given a card from the top of the pile and will then have one minute to prepare a one-minute presentation on the subject shown.

191


METHOD(continued)

After one minute’s preparation time, the trainer will issue the second card from the pile to another participant and instruct the first participant to begin her/his one-minute talk to the rest of the group. The second participant has this one minute to prepare her/his talk. A third participant is chosen, given a topic card, and participant two is instructed to begin her/his presentation.

The activity continues in this way until either every participant has had a turn at preparing and delivering a short talk, until all the cards have been used (participants being chosen at random by the trainer, some or all of whom will have more than one presentation) or at the discretion of the trainer.

Step 2: Confirm that all participants understand the rules of the activity. Choose the first participant and give him/her a topic card and note paper, if desired.

Notes:

Make it understood that every group member will give at least one presentation to the main group. Scratch paper for notes should be available if individuals choose to jot down ideas for their talk. This should be optional. With only 60 seconds’ preparation time, many people prefer to speak spontaneously.

Step 3: After 60 seconds’ preparation time, give a topic card to the second participant. Instruct the first participant to begin his/her presentation to the rest of the group.

Notes:

Time the presentation exactly. The talk must be stopped after one minute has elapsed.

192

Just a Minute

METHOD(continued)

Step 4: Continue the activity, choosing participants at random and issuing them with the next topic card from the pile.

Notes:

If there are fewer than five participants, or if it is decided to allow at least some of the participants a second topic preparation and presentation, it would be advisable to recall individuals in an unpredictable sequence. This introduces another dimension if, after giving a presentation, a participant is asked to talk again almost at once. The adrenalin will have stopped flowing after the first presentation, and many people will be taken unawares by this turn in events. This unpredictable random choice keeps all participants alert to the possibility that they may be called upon next to contribute.

Step 5: End the exercise when every participant has spoken at least once. Discuss the activity.

Notes:


Was it difficult to concentrate on preparation while there was activity in the room (i.e., another presentation going on)?

What effect did the time constraints have on you? Can you think of examples in the workplace

where similar distractions and/or constraints might occur?

Did 60 seconds seem like a long or short time when you were giving your talk?

What was difficult about giving a presentation in these conditions?

How would it have been easier for you? Was it easy to listen attentively to someone’s

presentation, knowing that it would be your turn soon?

When could this sort of stress occur in the work situation?

193


METHOD(concluded)

Did you consciously relax immediately after your own presentation?

What affect did this relaxation have on your concentration (e.g., could you give an accurate account of the talk that followed yours)?

Again, can you think of work situations where this could be important?

194

Just a Minute

TRAINER’S NOTES

You will need to produce on separate sheets of paper or on cards at least as many topics as there are participants in the group. The following are suggested topics of a general nature. Depending on the group with which this activity is used, it may be preferable to have more specific, or work-related, topics, or even subjects of a more contentious nature.

CAPITAL CITIES

NEWSPAPERS

SPORTS

GARDENING

LANGUAGES

FITNESS

HORSES

MUSIC

ASTROLOGY

TOURISM

SPACE EXPLORATION

TRANSPORTATION

TREES

FASHION

VEGETARIANISM

GEMS AND JEWELRY

ENVIRONMENT

ISLANDS

FAMOUS BUILDINGS

TELEVISION

SOAP OPERAS

ADVERTISING

POETRY

SCULPTURE

COMPUTERS

PHOTOGRAPHY

DENTISTRY

SEAS AND OCEANS

195

Know Your Audience

24 Know Your Audience

DESCRIPTION This activity is designed to improve the confidence of those who have to talk to groups.


Be aware of the advantages of prior knowledge of the size and composition of an audience.

Have “experienced” the need for appropriate approaches, style of language, and levels of formality.


Appropriate for anyone who has to speak to groups


RESOURCES Enough space and seating for the group to work together and for up to five subgroups to be able to work independently

Flipchart stand, paper, and markers

Paper and pens for participants’ notes

Flipchart paper and marker for each subgroup

Adhesive tape or other means of attaching flipchart sheets to wall


METHOD Step 1: Introduce the activity, explaining its purpose and objectives.

Notes:

Public speaking, in whatever form, requires confi-dence. Confidence grows with practice and is increased enormously with careful preparation, research, and rehearsal, not just of the subject matter

197


METHOD(continued)

of the talk, but of the other aspects involved. This activity is about one of the most important aspects—researching your audience.

There will be times when you will know the people you are going to address; e.g., a demonstration of a new line to your sales team; times when you will know some of the people you are going to address; e.g., a speech at a wedding. There will be other times when you will know none of the people you are going to address; e.g., a talk at an international conference.

In written communication, a different approach to language, style, and formality is required, depending on the recipient. For example, a letter of application for a job would be written in a different style from a vacation postcard to your best friend. This principle should also be applied to public speaking. Suit your style to your audience.

Step 2: Brief the group on procedure and timing of the activity.

Notes:

Explain that the group will be divided into subgroups of 3 to 4 participants and each subgroup will be given a scenario on which to work. The time for this part of the activity will be 30 minutes. Examples of scenarios are as follows:

A group of overseas customers will visit your company and want a guided tour preceded by an introductory talk about your organization.

Representatives of a company similar to yours would like to learn about your office systems and practices.

Management students from the local college will visit your office as part of their word-study program to learn about your organization and its management structures.

Note: You will need as many scenarios as you have subgroups.

198

Know Your Audience

METHOD(continued)

Each subgroup will compose three separate opening paragraphs of a welcoming talk: one that is fully appropriate to the audience; one that is patronizing; and one that is wholly inappropriate (i.e., the same opening, directed at the same audience, in each of the styles indicated above). When subgroups are happy with their draft paragraphs, they should write them onto flipchart paper in preparation for presen-tation to the main group.

Step 3: Arrange the group into subgroups, ideally in clusters of 3 to 4 participants. Tell subgroups where they will be working.

Notes:

Subgroups should have sufficient space to work uninterrupted by the other subgroups and to work on their flipchart sheets (i.e., table or floor space).

Step 4: Issue paper and pens for notes, and flipchart paper and a marker for each subgroup. Issue separate scenarios to each subgroup. Have subgroups begin working (as instructed in Step 2).

Notes:

The trainer may advise on procedure, but should not help groups with the construction of their para-graphs, or offer additional information about the scenarios they have been given.

As the exercise progresses, subgroups will invariably discover that more information is required to perform their task well. If subgroups request more informa-tion, instruct that no further help can be given at this stage. Tell them to continue the exercise and to note these points as they arise for later discussion.

The three recorded paragraphs should be the com-bined work of the subgroup (i.e., if a subgroup of three participants decides that each member should compose one example, this version should be agreed to by the subgroup before recording on flipchart paper for presentation). Subgroups should nominate one member to make the presentation.

199


METHOD(continued)

Step 5: Each subgroup takes turns presenting its versions to the full group for comment and questions by group and trainer. Allow 10 minutes per subgroup for presentation and feedback.

Notes:

The work of each subgroup will be posted in view of the whole group. The spokesperson from each subgroup will explain why their paragraphs were constructed as they were and the discussions that took place within the subgroup.

During the activity it may have emerged that more information was needed in order to plan the script; e.g., size and composition of the group, prior knowledge of the subject, etc.

This is the key learning point: If groups did require more information, acknowledge this; have the presentation continue, but record these observations as they arise. Encourage/lead questioning about the thought processes behind the paragraphs produced.

Step 6: Continue discussion and record on the flip-chart any issues arising from the activity.

Notes:

If not begun at Step 5, begin a discussion on issues arising from the exercise and record a list of areas where prior knowledge of an audience should be researched. (This could be achieved by “brain-storming” if preferred.)


How did lack of prior knowledge of the audi-ence make you feel?

What are the possible consequences of poor audience research?

What factors influence the impact you have on your audience—e.g., choice of words, appearance, tone of voice, personal confidence?

How and when should you research your audience?

200

Know Your Audience

METHOD(concluded)

How do you prepare for the unforeseen—e.g., the group who arrives unannounced for the “off-the-cuff” demonstration; the last-minute “Would you stand in for Jack—he’s got the flu?”

Step 7: Distribute Handout 24.1. Compare it with the list generated at Step 6.

Notes:

Call attention to any points not raised at Steps 5 and 6. This is not an exhaustive list and can be supplemented by the group work at Steps 5 and 6. Compare the document with the groups’ work.

Step 8: Discuss any further observations made by the group.

Notes:

Ask for final observations from group members. Conclude the activity by advising that audience research is just part of the preparation required for confident public speaking. Summarize the session by returning to the activity objectives.

201

Handout 24.1

Know Your Audience

You may wish to consider the following questions when researching your audience:

Am I being asked to give a speech, talk, lead a discussion, give a demonstration?

Is the talk to be formal or informal?

What size of group will I be addressing?

Why are they attending; were they asked to be there?

What is the audience’s expectation of the talk?

Do all/any of them have prior knowledge of the subject?

What is the depth of their knowledge?

Is it an all-male, all-female or mixed group?

Is there a mixed age range?

Is it a mixed culture group?

Does the group have a particular political, social, or organizational stance?

Would a serious, anecdotal, or witty delivery be most appropriate?


25 Let Me Put That Another Way

DESCRIPTION This activity is designed to help participants develop clarity of expression through extended use of vocabulary.


Be aware of the advantages of using synonyms for clarity of expression.

Have practiced conveying an idea through careful choice of vocabulary and word association.

Have experienced how individuals understand words differently, depending on context, associa-tion, relationship between the communicators, etc.



RESOURCES Seating and tables for triads to work independently Set of word cards (see Trainer’s Notes) Paper for each participant to record observations


Notes:

The English language consists of thousands of words, many of which have several meanings, and unlike many foreign languages, synonyms abound. According to the Concise Oxford English Diction-ary, a synonym is “a word or phrase identical and coextensive in sense and usage with another of the same language…a word denoting the same thing(s) as another but suitable to a different context”

The exercise that follows will give participants the opportunity to practice their ability to use synonyms in order to facilitate understanding.

205


METHOD(continued)

When a listener does not understand what has been said, she/he will often ask for it to be repeated. A repetition using the same words as before is not, in fact, what is usually required. If there has been no understanding initially, a verbatim repetition will not help. It is more useful for the listener if the speaker is able to rephrase the communication using different vocabulary until he/she has been understood. The number of synonyms in our language makes this possible.

Step 2: Outline the procedure and timing of the exercise.

Notes:

The group will be divided into subgroups of three. If the group is not exactly divisible by three, there will be one or two subgroups with four participants.

Each subgroup will be given 9 (or 12) cards that will be placed face down on the table between them. One word is printed on each card. Each subgroup will consist of one giver of clues, A; one guesser, B; and one (or two) observer(s), C (and D). The roles will be rotated so that each person will have the chance to give clues to three words, to guess three words, and to observe, keep score, and give constructive feedback to the giver and guesser.

A picks up a card from the pack and looks at it. Neither B nor the observer(s) should be allowed to see the word. A gives B one one-word clue—a synonym—for the word printed on the card. The observer(s) will record the clue word. B must guess, from that one clue, what word is written on the card. If B guesses correctly, the A + B partnership receives 3 points. If B guesses incorrectly. A must think of another word, either another synonym or a clue word related to the original word on the card. Again, this word will be recorded by the observer(s). If B guesses correctly, the A + B partnership receives 2 points. If B guesses incorrectly, A gets one final chance to give a one-word clue. If B guesses correctly, the partnership receives 1 point, if

206

Let Me Put That Another Way

METHOD(continued)

incorrectly, the observers get a chance to guess, then to comment on why the communication was suc-cessful (or not) between A and B and to give con-structive feedback using their “observation sheet” as an aid to discussion.

A now picks up a second card from the pack, and the exercise continues as above.

A picks up a third card from the pack, and the exer-cise continues as above.

After the partnership has given clues and guessed three times with three different words, and the observer(s) has given final feedback on A and B’s performance, roles will be rotated so that B becomes guesser, A becomes observer, and C becomes the giver of clues/synonyms.

This sequence is repeated until every participant has had the chance to give clues, and to guess three words. The time allowed for this part of the activity will be 30 minutes or until every triad has com-pleted one rotation of roles.

Step 3: Explain the observer’s role.

Notes:

The observer is also the “director of observations.” It is her/his role to coordinate the exercise: to start proceedings; to ensure that the guesser does not see the word on the card; to allow only one-word clues and no other communication between the giver and the guesser; to record all the clues and responses; to record the scores of the partnership; to give feed-back after each word guessed and finally to lead a subgroup discussion on why a partnership “worked” or did not “work” in the context of the exercise.

Step 4: Divide the group into subgroups of 3 or 4. (If the group is not exactly divisible by 3, there will be one or two subgroups with four participants.) Place 9 (or 12) word cards on the tables of each subgroup.

207


METHOD(continued)

Notes:

Place the cards face down so that no one in the subgroup can see the words. If there are cards left over after distribution to the subgroups, they can be issued to subgroups as they complete their rotations so that, for example, A and B reverse roles to see if they improve performance when the giver/guesser tasks are reversed within the partnership. When the last subgroup has finished its initial rotation, however, the exercise should be brought to a close.

Step 5: Have subgroups begin working as described in Step 2.

Notes:

Instruct observers to start the exercise within their subgroup.

Observe subgroups closely to ensure that rules are being upheld and to ascertain when they finish the initial rotation. Distribute extra cards as available. Conclude the exercise when the final subgroup have completed their rotations and feedback from observers.

Step 6: Lead a general discussion on feedback from the subgroups.

Notes:


Were some partnerships more successful than others?

Was it because their words were easier? Were some partners more compatible than

others? Why? Was it difficult to find synonyms for some of

the words on the cards? Did you find that some words, which had a

definite meaning for you, meant something entirely different to another person?

Did this surprise you?

208


METHOD(concluded)

Can you think of occasions when the ability to think of synonyms, or alternative phrases, might be helpful to effective communication?

What lessons can be learned from this activity? How will you apply these learning points on the

job?

Step 7: Conclude the activity referring back to the objectives and the advantages of developing the skill of rephrasing for effective communication.

209


TRAINER’S NOTES

The following 140 words all have synonyms. Each word should be typed or written on a card; one word per card. You will need at least three word cards per participant.

STAMP

SPOON

JAM

HAIL

ENVELOPE

ABDOMEN

ARCHESTRA

HUNT

NOVEL

LUGGAGE

YOUTH

THEATER

SWING

STROKE

COPPER

HABIT

NOTICE

DEMAND

CRITICIZE

INFORM

REWARD

ROYAL

JUICE

JOGGING

HOLLOW

RESIDENT

LETHAL

FLY

LECTURE

FOLK

CONCERT

MONK

TONGUE

MILK

WARD

TICKLE

BULLET

RUMOR

STRING

STRETCHER

STRAIN

REPRIMAND

RATTLE

RASH

QUILL

MUTUAL

MAGNETIC

NOTHING

FIND

LIGHT

NUT

EFFECTIVE

TRAFFIC

COIN

TEACHER

ABBEY

EXACT

LOGIC

DESCRIPTION

TILL

CHAIR

TEMPLE

SURPRISE

VOCABULARY

LAKE

FIST

PIRATE

DIAL

SCHOLAR

AGENT

HOSTAGE

HABITAT

SCANDAL

WRESTLE

OVERCAST

ABOLISH

APPROPRIATE

MEMORY

PURR

NUCLEAR

RELIC

PLANE

TORCH

TIME

PROBABLE

PHYSICAL

RAMP

MUTINY

MAGAZINE

STREAK

RIPPLE

REPULSIVE

EXTRA

FUDGE

PEAK

PSYCHIATRIST

BLOSSOM

WASHING

MUG

SMELLY

210


PUBLICAN

FIT

PARTNER

DISH

FABRICATE

LETTER

MESSAGE

BANK

EXACT

ARRANGE

STICKER

DELEGATE

ALCOHOL

POWER

SCRUB

WARP

CLEAR

MATERIAL

CONVEY

OPINION

SECOND

OPERA

PAPER

GAS

PAINT

MEND

DEPARTMENT

SERVICE

FAST

LIMIT

SEW

FAIRY

FORAGE

EVENT

FLAUNT

REPORT

INTERESTING

ADDITION

AMBIGUOUS

CURRENCY

211

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