{ U r Speaking – God is listening…so r others The influence of what we say and how we say it – James 3:1-12.

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<ul><li>Slide 1</li></ul><p>{ U r Speaking God is listeningso r others The influence of what we say and how we say it James 3:1-12 Slide 2 1. Criticizing. Criticism involves superior attitude judgmental statements that belittle and put down a person. "Don't do it that way", "You're wrong", "You're not very good at...", 2. Labeling. Labels are names that defines who the labeller says someone is. An extreme form of labels is name-calling. "You're a jerk", "You are silly", and "I think you're mean" are some examples of labeling 3. Condescending the motive is to displaying a patronizingly superior attitude. Now thats much better I know you could do it! 4. Ordering. Orders are controlling statements that seeks unquestioned compliance. They are akin to dictatorship. "Go wash the dishes", "Stop complaining", and "Stop fighting with..." Communication Roadblocks Slide 3 5. Threatening. A threat is similar to an order, except it has emphasis on punishment. "Go wash the dishes or I won't cook for you tomorrow night", "Stop complaining or you'll be sent to your room", "Stop fighting with... or you'll 6. Polarized Speaking in absolutes and extremes. Deadly M.O.A.N.S. Must. Ought. Always. Never. Should. You will NEVER get this right! You always 7. Questioning. Rhetorical questions is one common form of poor questioning. Examples include, "Why do you disobey me?" "Why do you always do wrong?" and "What about my needs? Didnt I tell you.. Communication Roadblocks Slide 4 8. You communicate that others are incompetent only you can get it right. Also that they had malicious intent. Why do you always do that! 8. Criticizing, Judging, Blaming You communicate that others are incompetent only you can get it right. Also that they had malicious intent. Why do you always do that! 9. Advising Giving solutions What you should have done said is Here give me that that this is how this should be done 10. Spiritual Manipulating attempting to get our own way by using this is the will of God God want s me to go on this trip Surely God does not expect us to live in this house!? 11. Rejecting-withdrawing dismissing Communicates we are not interested in the feelings or situation of another. What did you expect? I told you soYou seem surprised? Well its too late to cry about it now! Communication Roadblocks Slide 5 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. Religious outward conduct of what is proclaimed to have taken place in the heart Tight rein bridle, restrain, guide (James 3:2) Deceive to use tactics that gives a distorted or false impression James 1:26 Slide 6 James 1 maturity and wisdom is gained through the purpose of God in suffering (1:1-12), through the presence and provision of God in temptation (1:13-18) and through the Word of God in obedience (1:19-27) As a teacher James wants believers to understand how to gain maturity and wisdom Slide 7 James 2 maturity and wisdom is gained through our faith lived out in love (2:1-13) and our faith lived out in works (2:14-26) As a teacher James wants believers to understand how to gain maturity and wisdom Slide 8 James 3 maturity and wisdom is gained through a believers influence by how they speak (3:1-12) and by how they speak with their life (3:13-18) As a teacher James wants believers to understand how to gain maturity and wisdom Slide 9 Our words are an influence that can misdirect or direct others (3:1-5) Our words are an influence that can destroy others (3:6-8) Our words are an influence that can describe who we really are to others (3:9- 12) James 3 maturity and wisdom is gained through a believers influence Slide 10 { Maturity and wisdom is grained through a believers influence by how we speak Our words are an influence that can misdirect or direct others James 3:1-5 Slide 11 Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. 3When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. James 3:1-5 Slide 12 1. As a teacher our words can misdirect or direct others 2. As a bit our words can misdirect and direct others 3. As a rudder our words can misdirect and direct others 4) As a boast our words can misdirect or direct others James 3:1-5 - Our words are an influence that can misdirect or direct others Slide 13 From the fruit of their mouth a person's stomach is filled; with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:20-21 Whatever a teacher one says to impact others will also leave an indelible impression on themselves what they will reveal who we really are People feed on what we say People will always eat of our tree it influences their behavior 1. As a teacher our words can misdirect or direct others Slide 14 ( 1) Teacher can make it about themselves I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will not welcome us (3 John 9) (2) A teacher can plant seeds of detachment Satan (Gen 3:1-6; 2 Pet 2:1-3) Questions Gods Word Strategically zones in on prey Twists Gods Word Questions Gods goodness You cannot really trust God with that which matters most Subtly introduce (covertly-stealth) Heresies- strong distinctive, carefully self chosen opinions deny Christ contradict, disown misdirect from Christ 1) How a teacher misdirects Slide 15 (3) Because people seek out teachers like them (2 Tim 4:3, cf Isa 30:10) For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear They say to the seers, "See no more visions!" and to the prophets, "Give us no more visions of what is right! Tell us pleasant things, prophesy illusions (Isa 30:10) 1) How a teacher misdirects Slide 16 ( 1) They agonize over the Scripture through study (2 Tim 2:15) (2) They have lived and live what they say and teach (2 Tim 2:15) approved (3) They cut the word straight (4) They do shrink back, hesitate from proclaiming the WHOLE Will and PURPOSE of God (Acts 20:27) they dont choose there favorite verses! (4) They fear that they will be held accountable before God Himself (James 3:1) (5) They know that what they say with their lips has the power to influence (James 3:2) 2) How a teacher directs Slide 17 Bit and the rudder must overcome contrary forces Bit (3:3 when we put a bit in the mouths of horses to make them obey us) - tame a wild horse so that it does not go off the path and direction in which the rider needs to go Rudder (3:4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.) - fight the winds and currents that would drive it off course. Both can have devastating effects if misdirected 2. As a bit and 3. a rudder our words can misdirect and direct Slide 18 An evil man is ensnare and trapped by his sinful talk (Prov 12:13) (upper and lower jaw done! (cf. 18:7) In the path of the wicked lie thorns and snares; but he who guards his soul stays far from them. (Prov 22:5) Words can misdirect by ensnaring or entrapping a person in (1) Attempting to satisfy immediate lust - easy sex (Prov 7:7-27 (v23); (2) Seeking to make foolish business decisions and seeking quick wealth (Prov 6:1-2, 1 Tim 6:9) putting security for some can entrap 2. As a bit our words can misdirect and direct 1) How, like a bit not controlled, can our words misdirect? Slide 19 (3) Ventilating our anger and take issues into our own hands Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18, cf. Moses: Ps 106:32-33, Num 20:9-12) (4) Foolishly and strategically sets our own world view and opinion. No one can reason with us! A fool's mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul. (Prov 18:7) and (5) Lying about their contempt and intolerance for others. They rally people around them they can slander about. Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips and spreads slander is a fool (Prov 10:18) 1) How as a bit not controlled, our words can misdirect Slide 20 In Contrast: as a bit can guide as horse on the right path, how much more can a parent and mentors direct (influence) their children mentees with their speech? Train a child in the way he should go, When he is old he will not turn from it (Prov 22:5-6) (1) Steer Train Set the course (2) Strategy in the way (3) Structured thinking life when they are old (4) Security - They will not turn from it 2. As a bit our words can misdirect and direct 2) 1) How, as a bit that is controlled, can our words direct? Slide 21 (1) Steer Train Set the course Calibrate the compass bearing: inaugural process life is the testing ground)- Speak to them on purpose for a purpose bigger than oneself Prov 1:8, 4:1, 4:10 contrast 10:1, 19:13 Speak to about becoming servant leaders: (Mark 9:33- 37, Dont steer them to be famous celebrities but focused servants! (Matt 19:13-15 contrast with 16-25; Matt 20:20-28) 2. As a bit our words can misdirect and direct 2) How, as a bit that is controlled, our words can direct Slide 22 (2) Strategy in the way Speak to them about how to be Gods Ambassador to their hurting peers (Deut 6:4-8) (2 Cor 11-21); how to face suffering and mature, how to take care of the afflicted, poor, widow and orphan (Isa 58) (3) Structured thinking life when they are old Conditioned Service and Obedience (4) Security They will not turn from it Spiritual guarantee not that they will not fail but they will understand how to control what they say and do (Warning Prov 5:11-13) 2. As a bit our words can misdirect and direct 2) How, as a bit that is controlled, our words can direct Slide 23 As in an inexperienced steersman a ship can be driven by strong winds therefore a rudder can misdirect a ship; Likewise an immature person can allow external circumstances and internal immaturity to misdirect others by what they say This can be done through a lie, a careless word, an offense, deceit, gossip or slander can misdirect someone off course. This is the description of a fool one who is entitled, contempt, intolerant, need to be right, blind, lack humility to be taught 3. As a rudder that is not controlled so our words can misdirect and direct 2) How can our words as a rudder misdirect? Slide 24 (1) Pr 18:2 A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions. (1) Pr 18:2 A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions. We are strategically focused on our own agenda at the expense of others even if it means shipwrecking others (2) Prov 15:2 We are exposed for who we are but in contempt we do not care. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge but the mouth of the fool gushes folly. 3. As a rudder that is not controlled so our words can misdirect and direct 2) How can our words as a rudder misdirect? Slide 25 (3) Prov 15:28 The heart of the righteous weighs it answers but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil We dont stop to think and discern what we say (4) Prov 12:16 Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult. We intimidate others, need to be right, develop critical spirit, intolerant, lack self control, feed on an offense and blame For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. (Matt 12:34) 3. As a rudder that is not controlled so our words can misdirect and direct 2) How can our words as a rudder misdirect? Slide 26 As a rudder a timely word can navigate and direct another person through storms of life Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Prov 4:23) The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent, and their lips promote instruction (Prov 16:23) May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. (Ps 19:14) 3. As a rudder that is not controlled so our words can misdirect and direct 2) How can our words as a rudder direct? Slide 27 (1) We are authentic especially when a friend is failing or stumbling Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. (Prov 27:6) (2) We have the courage to warn undisciplined life My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins James 5:19-20, cf. Matt 18:15, Prov 9:1-10) 3. As a rudder that is not controlled so our words can misdirect and direct 2) How can our words as a rudder direct? Slide 28 Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults; whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse. 8Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you. Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning (Prov 9:7-8) Prov 15:12 A mocker resents correction, a mocker will not consult the wise Slide 29 Our tongue is a member 1) as a part of a greater whole attached to the heart) 2) it is designed We live in a clutter of followership Look at me originally small part Greek - melos - to bring harmony (Eph 5:19) To boast To lift the neck up high in order to exalt to bring into focus what was done for glory Our tongue may be small but it can boast about great things that the body or works have done! BUT a caution just as a bit controls the mighty horse and the rudder the might ship we must direct our tongue about WHO we boast about. 4) As a boast our words can direct other to ourselves or God James 3:5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts- Slide 30 Only submission to the Holy Spirit and a correct motive should the tongue boast My soul shall boast in the LORD (Ps 34:2) This is what the LORD says, Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, or the strong man boast in his strength, or the rich man boast in his riches, (v24) but (1) that he understands and knows me, (2) that I am the LORD (3) who exercises kindness, justice (misphat) and righteousness (tsedaqah) on earth (in the earth) (4) for in these I delight, says the LORD (Jer 9:23-24) This is what the LORD says, Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, or the strong man boast in his strength, or the rich man boast in his riches, (v24) but let him who boasts...</p>

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