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Special Report

Worry Free Now

Manifesto

Free Yourself from Useless Worry

Starting Today…

Joseph F. McCaffrey, MD FACS



Worry Free Now Manifesto 2

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_______________________________________________________________________Copyright JFM MD – all rights reserved http://www.JFMcCaffreyMD.com

Introduction

Worry and anxiety seem to be part of the world we live in, especially these days.It comes in all shapes and forms.

You’re teenager is late coming home and they’re not answering their cell. Where

are they? Who are they with? Maybe they were in an accident? Should I start

calling emergency rooms? What if…

There’s a rumor (again) about your company downsizing. Is it true? Is your job

on the line? How would your family survive if you did lose your job? Where

would you live? How…

You can probably add your own favorite scenarios. One thing about worry in

these situations is that it does absolutely no good. It is not a calm and rational

assessment of the situation to enable you to act appropriately. Rather, it

absolutely works against you.

I’ll explain some of the very real negative aspects of worry in the early part of this

report. More importantly, I’ll give you proven, powerful techniques that you can

start using today to free yourself from worry.

As you'll see, it is possible to take control of your thoughts and free yourself from

destructive worry.




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Soon you’ll be able to:

Assess situations accurately then calmly take the best course of action

Avoid the disabling affects of chronic stress on not only your mental but

your physical well-being

Focus on the present moment, free of disturbing thoughts about unlikely

undesirable futures

Exert absolute control over your tendency to worry

Enjoy life more fully as you approach it with a mature and balanced

outlook

There are life skills that we all need to develop to make the most of our lives.Controlling worry is one of them. Unfortunately, there’s no established

curriculum and the information we really need to know isn’t taught in schools.

But we can learn them. We can gather the tools we need to be able to adroitly

navigate the ups and downs of life. I’ve written this report to help you deal with a

problem that robs too many people of the ability to enjoy life – excessive worry.

If this is an issue for you, you may not even believe that it’s possible to stop it.

You may even think that worry helps you solve problems, or that it somehow

keeps bad things from happening.

I’ll show you none of those things or the other reasons people have for worrying

are true.

And I’ll show you what to do about it. You can escape the worry trap, starting

right now. Let’s get going…




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Worry and Anxiety

Worry… Anxiety… Dread… Feeling of impending doom…

Those aren’t pleasant feelings at all.

Worry destroys a person’s quality of life. When someone is in a worrying mode,

there’s no room for joy, relaxation, or any of the pleasant aspects of life.

In many situations, worry and anxiety are normal and appropriate. They are to be

expected and can even be useful. However like a lot of things in life, the

usefulness depends on balance. With worry, a little goes a long way.

Worry and anxiety are closely tied to the fight or flight response, the physical

changes that occur in our body when we face a dangerous situation. This natural

response puts us in the best possible state to either run away or fight for our life.

We can even see how a tendency to worry might easily have had a survivaladvantage back when our ancestors faced physical danger every day.

Fortunately, that’s no longer the case for most of us. The things we stress and

worry about today are not things that are going to kill us if we don’t deal with

them immediately.




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Worry could possibly be helpful if we can channel it into useful activity. Too

much, however, is detrimental. Excessive worry:

Leads to poor decision making

Causes physical breakdown and premature aging

Contributes to depression

Makes it impossible to enjoy the good in your life

Worsens your relationships with the people most important to you

If worry has gotten out of control for you, there are things you can do the rein it

in. In this report, I’ll give you powerful psychological tools to free yourself from

the bondage of free-floating anxiety and worry. Whatever your beliefs are now, itis possible to take control of your thoughts.

But one concern people frequently have that keeps them from even trying to take

control of worry is that it helps them stay safe. They feel they need to worry to

prevent something bad from happening.

But it that true? Could it be there’s a huge difference between appropriate,

sensible caution and needless worry? I believe there is.




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Appropriate Caution or Useless Worry?

Fear can be a normal and appropriate response to some things. For example,

having a fear response to a rattlesnake coiled on the trail suits the situation.

Having the same response to a garter snake that you know to be harmless

doesn’t really fit the situation. If it keeps you from going outside, it’s adversely

affecting your life.

How can you tell if the anxiety you feel is appropriate or not? Here are some

guidelines.

Does your response seem out of proportion to what you see other people

do in the same situation?

Does your worry intrude on your life? Does it keep you from doing things

you would otherwise enjoy? In the example above, worry is intrusive if it

kept somebody from going on a camping trip because they mightencounter a snake.

Does the worry feel like it’s controlling you, like there’s nothing you can do

about it?

Do you find yourself worrying all the time?

Is your tendency to worry persistent, your usual response to most things?

Obviously, worry is harmful to someone who does it to the extent outlined above.

If someone like that doesn’t get it under control, it can ruin their life and

negatively affect those they care about the most.




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It may be hard for someone trapped in endless worry to imagine, but IT IS

POSSIBLE TO ESCAPE!

Phobias vs. Generalized Anxiety

Before we get too far, I want to make a couple distinctions. Fear related to a

specific object or situation (like fear of snakes or fear of high places) is referred to

as a phobia. Although I won’t be addressing specific treatment of phobias, many

of the techniques I refer to can be useful for phobias. Also know that there are

several other specific treatments that I won’t be going in to here.

And remember that some degree of anxiety or worry may be appropriate in some

situations. It might even be helpful.

For example, an athlete or performer may feel a little anxious before a big event.

That’s understandable. The “nervous tension” can be helpful if the increased

energy is channeled into their performance. We can then think of worry as

excitement.

However, if they worry to the point of dread, worry even when the competition or

performance is in the distant future or past, or worry to the extent that they don’t

even perform, then clearly the worry is negatively affecting their life and needs to

be reined in.

This report will deal with generalized anxiety that impairs performance and robs

life of its joy. It will help you eliminate anxiety and worry that seems to crop up

persistently, repeatedly and feels out of control.

There are times when worrisome thoughts play like an endless loop recording –

the same thoughts playing over and over again.




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Worry can also be intrusive, cropping up even when the person is trying to focus

on something else. Worried thoughts can even seem as if they’re beyond the

person’s ability to control. It can get to the point that someone puts off starting

activities or avoids situations they fear might aggravate the worry.

Worry can even cause physical symptoms such as muscle aches and stiffness

due to holding increased tension in the muscles (someone who is psychologically

tense is physically tense as well). It can cause sleep disorders.

Sometimes it can seem as if the worry spreads until it affects all areas of a

person’s life.

Clearly, this is not a healthy situation. Not only does a person in this state feel

miserable, it affects their physical health as well.




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The Nature of Worry and Why People Do It

Worry isn’t something that happens to you. It’s a mental activity that you do. It is

under your control, only sometimes it doesn’t seem like it.

People who perpetually worry have a numbers of reasons for doing so.

Some believe worry actually helps them.

For example, they may think that persistent worrying will help them find a solution

to a problem. Or that they need to worry to be motivated to take action.

Another reason some people consistently worry is that they think it proves they’re

responsible and concerned. They may adhere to the self-defeating line of

thinking that says “if I expect the worse than I won’t be disappointed”.

Some have what amounts to a superstitious belief that worrying will somehow

protect them from something bad happening. In actuality, the opposite is more

likely.

Even if you don’t believe in the law of attraction or Job’s lament that “That which I

feared has come upon me”, worry is more likely to hinder than help.

I mean, do you really think that someone who’s been worrying for days about a

job interview, losing sleep over it and imagining the worst for themselves and

their family is going to make a better impression at the interview because of all

that worry? Not at all. In fact, the worry will probably harm their performance. A

person who goes into the interview well-rested, calm and confident is much more

likely to do well.




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One interesting phenomenon is that people involved in worrying often start to

worry about worrying. They worry about the worry affecting their health, both

mental and physical, about it taking over their mind, about their inability to control

it and so on.

Worrying about worrying is one sign that the worry monster may have gotten out

of control in your life.

So let’s be clear. The future will never be certain. We need to come to terms

with that fact and be OK with it. We also need to evaluate and respond to eventsin our life, some of which may be unpleasant and cause some degree of anxiety

and distress for a while. In limited amounts, it may serve us.

However, obsessive worry never serves us. It’s a monster we need to slay (or at

least banish from the kingdom if you don’t like that violent metaphor). Here’s

how you can free yourself from worry.




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How To Free Yourself From Generalized Anxietyand Excessive Worry

To begin, you need to believe that being free is possible.

One of the thoughts that many people have who struggle constantly with worry, is

that it is out of their control. They feel that they have to worry.

Sometimes they carry this belief because they can’t imagine another response to

a situation (“Who wouldn’t worry about a big midterm?”). Worrying is just what

they do. It’s an automatic response, a deeply ingrained habit for them.

Another reason for the mistaken belief that they can’t escape worry is that

they’ve been unsuccessful before when they’ve tried to stop “cold turkey”. That

is, when they tried to tell themselves to just stop worrying and couldn’t.

So before I tell you how to change the belief that you can’t control your worrying,

ask yourself right now how strongly you believe that worry can’t be controlled.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you agree with the statement:

“ My worrying is uncontrollable.”

Now that you know where you stand, let’s change that belief.

Remember that a belief is only a thought that you keep thinking. There are

several ways to change beliefs and we’ll use a couple of them here.




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Find the Example That Weakens the Belief

One way to weaken a belief is to find an instance where it’s not true.

For example, if you believe that all Ford cars are black, it’s hard to maintain that

belief after you’ve seen a blue Ford (although I’ve known some people who

would give it a good try :-).

So if you believe that worrisome thoughts have the ability to take over your mind

and are impossible to escape from, can you think of a time when that didn’t hold

true? Can you find evidence that it might not be true?

For example, have you ever been worrying about something, say while you were

driving, when something caught your attention and interrupted the worry? Has a

friend ever been able to make you laugh or start thinking of something else while

you were in the middle of a worry spell?

If that’s ever happened, it shows that worry doesn’t control your mind. It ispossible to shift from worry and anxiety to another state. As you find more

examples of times when you were to shift away from worrying your belief that

worry is uncontrollable will weaken.

Remember that worry is a thought activity and your thoughts are under your

control. You just have to know how to do it. The reason a lot of people think that

worry is uncontrollable is because they go about trying to change their thoughts

in a way that simply won’t work.




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With the next technique, we’ll work with the psychological fact that there really

isn’t a mental image for negatives, such as “no”, “not” and “won’t”.

For example, if I say “Don’t spill the milk” what picture do you get in your mind?

Naturally you thought of spilled milk – the “don’t” didn’t create an image of the

milk staying neatly in the glass or carton.

The same thing happens if you try to stop worrying by telling yourself you’re not

going to think or worry about whatever it is. That only maintains the worry.

Here’s a technique that will help you immediately start to get worry under control.You’re going to work with psychology, not against it.

At the beginning, someone who’s a chronic worrier may be almost afraid of

stopping. They’re not sure what will happen if they do. As I said earlier, some

people have mistaken beliefs about worry, such as it helps them find answers or

protects them from something bad happening.

A good way to handle such beliefs is to gradually change your worry habit. I’m

not going to ask you to immediately stop worrying altogether. Rather, the initial

aim will simply be to control worry. Because you’re not trying to stop completely,

the subconscious worrier isn’t threatened.

Right now I want to I'm going to give you a technique you can use immediately to

accomplish this.




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Worry Time

Here’s how to bring your worry under control: commit to limiting your worry to a

set time each day. That’s right, control worry by making a commitment to worry.

Pick a period of time in your day that you are going to devote solely to worrying –

you aren’t going to even try to do anything else. All you’re going to do in that

time period is worry as completely and as deeply as you can.

But that’s the only time you’re going to worry. If you catch yourself starting to

worry at any other time of the day, remind yourself that it’s not your worry time

and you need to Stop it! You’ll worry about whatever it is later. If you’re afraid

you might forget, make a note of it. (BTW – Bob Newhart did a funny skit about

“Stop It”. You can see it here: http://www.jfmccaffreymd.com/bob-newhart’s-two-

words.html)

You can decide for you just how long you think the worry time should be. You

may be more comfortable at first with a couple of “worry times” in your dayinstead of just one. I suggest starting with a period of twenty minutes or so once

a day, but you can pick the time and frequency that feels right to you.

You can make this worry period whenever you like, but it’s best if you make it the

same time and place everyday. I also suggest that you don’t do it just before

bed. The last thing you need to do is fill your mind with worrisome thoughts just

before you try to drift off to sleep. Even if you succeed in getting to sleep, your

dreams aren’t likely to be very pleasant.

Do you see how delaying worrying rather than trying to resist it sidesteps the

psychological blocks that make simply refusing to worry nearly impossible? You




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aren’t battling with yourself or any beliefs you may have that worrying somehow

helps you.

However, even as you indulge in worrying every day, this technique is the first

step toward freedom from inappropriate worry.

For one thing, the technique proves that worry can be controlled. If you postpone

worry even for a little while, you’ve demonstrated you control it.

Again, worry is an activity you engage in. It’s a thought process and the thoughts

are yours.

Here’s a common but mistaken belief: some people persist in worrying because

they think it somehow serves them or is a useful problem-solving tool. If this is a

belief of yours, you will need to change it before you can be truly comfortable

releasing worry.

Some variations on the belief that worry solves problems are that it motivates a

person to action, or it prepares them for the future.

To what extent do you think you agree with those statements or hold those

beliefs yourself?

A belief is only a thought we keep thinking. We found that one way to weaken a

belief is to find an example of when it wasn’t true. The “worry period” process

demonstrates that you can control worry, which automatically weakens the false

belief that worry is beyond your control. Now let’s see how you can shift the belief

that worry is useful.




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Changing Beliefs, Part 2

Another way to change a belief that doesn’t serve us is to challenge it, to

question its validity and ask what the evidence is for and against it. This is active

expansion of what we did earlier when we looked for instances that disproved the

belief that worry is beyond our control.

So if you somehow feel that worry is helping you, why do you think that? How do

you think worry helps you solve problems? What’s the evidence for that, and

could you interpret that evidence in a different way?

On the other hand, can you think of reasons why worrying might not help you

solve problems or work in your favor? Can you think of disadvantages to

worrying? Have you had situations where worrying didn’t help at all? Have there

been times when worry kept you from taking advantage of opportunities or led

you to make a poor decision?

You can consider worrying the worst form of fortune telling. It’s no fun and it’s

not very accurate. Here’s a quick exercise to demonstrate that fact.

Testing the Accuracy of Worry

Get two pieces of paper and a pen. Now recall some situation in the past that

you were worried about that is now resolved one way or the other. Don’t pick

one that did turn out to be a complete disaster. I refuse to believe that you only

experience the worst possible outcomes in your life.




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On one piece of paper, write down all your worries, all the possible disastrous

outcomes and consequences that you churned on about over and over. Capture

all the details of your worry and all your fearful predictions and the terrible

possibilities you visualized.

On the other piece of paper, write down what actually happened. Record the

actual facts, the reality.

Now compare the two. How accurate were your predictions? If you’re like most

worriers, you were remarkably off the mark. Even if the eventual resolution wasa poor one, I doubt that it was the worst one you had imagined. Most

experienced worriers easily create a multitude of horrible predictions that verge

on being beyond possibility.

So look at your predictions. Consider how inaccurate they were. Now ask

yourself some questions. Questions like: How can something so inaccurate be of

value to me? Could I find a process that might be more helpful and beneficial?

Also consider all the time you spent worrying. What was the quality of that time?

How did you feel when you were imaging terrible possibilities that, as it turned

out, never happened? Can you see how worrying significantly reduced the quality

of your life?

It may take a little time and some repetition to weaken your unhelpful beliefs

about worry. That’s OK. After all, you’ve held them without questioning them for

a long time. It may take time and experience to the contrary to let them go

completely.




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An Experiment On the Usefulness of Worry

After you’ve had some practice with the delaying worry method I told you about

earlier, you may want to conduct this experiment. Consider yourself a researcher

who is going to test the hypothesis that worrying helps you. Science in action.

The scientific method tests an hypothesis by making predictions of what might

happen in a given set of circumstances if the hypothesis was true, and then

looking to see what actually happens.

In this case, the hypothesis is that worrying helps you. If that’s true, then you

ought to have better outcomes when you worry a lot than when you don’t, right?

Let’s test that.

Here’s the experiment. For a reasonable period of time, say ten days, you’re

going to alternate between worrying and not worrying. On the days you don’t

worry, if a worrisome thought comes up, you put it off ‘till the next day. You’ve

had practice doing this with the worry time exercise so it shouldn’t be too difficultto do.

Especially since on the worry days, you’re going to go all out and worry as much

as you can. Let yourself have at it.

If you do this for ten days, you’ll have five days of worrying and five days without.

Before you start the 10 day experiment, write out your prediction of how you think

the worrying days and the worry-free days will turn out. What do you think will

happen? What will your day be like?




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Then at the end of each day, record as objectively as you can how your day

went. Write down things you accomplished, any problems that came up, how

you coped with them, the overall quality of the day and so forth.

On the worrying days, record if you think worrying had any benefits. If so,

estimate how important the benefit was on a 0 – 10 scale.

Similarly, on a worry-free day record any benefit you may have noticed and how

important it was on a 0 – 10 scale.

Most worriers predict that things will turn out better on the days when they worrythan when they don’t – they have the belief that worry serves them. The usual

observation is that there is no difference between the worry days and the worry-

free days or that the worry-free days turn out better. It might happen, but I’ve yet

to see someone consistently have better days when they worry.

That makes sense because when you get right down to it worrying isn’t a very

productive activity. When someone is worrying they really don’t get anything

done. As the saying goes: Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair – it will keep

you busy but it won’t get you anywhere.

You can also consider worrying a negative form of visualization – you’re

imagining a future you don’t want. If you’re going to spend time imagining, you

may as well spend it imaging what you do want.




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Letting Go

Although it often seems to people that worries somehow have power of their

own, as I’ve said repeatedly worrying is something we do-- not something that

happens to us. It actually takes energy to continue to worry. One way to stop

worrying is to just let it go.

Here’s what I mean by that.

Take a pencil or something you wouldn’t mind dropping and hold it in your hand

out in front of you with your palm facing down. Now squeeze it. Hard. Really

squeeze it tightly and hold on really tightly. Hold it… Hold it…

Now just relax and let go and notice what happens to the pencil.

It obviously dropped. It wasn’t holding onto you, it was the other way around. It

took energy on your part to cling to the pencil, and if you held it tight enough for

any period of time it was probably getting uncomfortable.

Holding onto worry is like that.

I want to put in a little aside here. Personally, I believe everyone would benefit

from practicing meditation. Some people find that idea easy to accept; others

consider meditation an odd practice or associate it with belief systems they don’t

agree with. So although I think meditation is helpful, I’m not going to specifically

teach it here. I’ll stick with secular scientifically validated techniques and methods

– essentially based on research into the relaxation response.

However, someone familiar with meditation practices may recognize similarities.

That aside over, here are some ways to let go of worry.




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One approach is to take on the role of an observer. You can observe the fact

that you are worrying. At first, you can get pretty caught up in worry before you

notice it and that’s fine – you’re changing old habits here.

When you do notice that you’re worrying, do just that – notice it. Observe the

worry as a thought. Label it as a worry and examine it like you might an

interesting rock. What does it feel like? What sensations in your body is it

associated with? Don’t identify with it or get caught up in it. Just observe its

presence.

Having observed the worry with some detachment, you realize that it is not anintrinsic part of you, the observer. It’s just a thought. You don’t have to keep

thinking it. You can let it go if you want to.

In meditation where one tries to achieve a thoughtless state they often use the

metaphor of treating thoughts as if they’re clouds and your mind is a room with

open windows all around. A cloud may drift in, but you don’t have to trap it. You

can just let it drift out the other side.

Another metaphor (can you tell that I like metaphors?) is that of sitting by a river

bank observing what’s floating by. Objects on the river represent thoughts or

worries. You might notice a lot of different boats and rafts and logs and other

objects floating by and that’s OK. You just don’t want to climb on board anyone

of them.

Of course you will. That’s to be expected. When that happens and you find that

you’ve allowed yourself to get caught up in a stream of thought, just gently say

“Oh, well” and get back on shore observing without attachment.




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The idea here is to let yourself know that you're not controlled by your worries.

You do have some choice in whether or not you decide to worry and you can just

as well decide not to worry.

Be Here Now – The Present Moment

Ram Dass popularized the statement “be here now” when he used thatadmonition to title a book years ago. It remains good advice.

We experience all of life in the present moment-- the right here and now.

When we remember something, we are recalling the past but we're doing it now.

Similarly when we imagine the future we’re worrying about the future but doing

that now as well.

When we’re either remembering or imagining, we're not paying attention to

what's going on right here now.

By the same line of thinking-- by paying attention to right here and right now we

can't be imagining the future and therefore we can't be worrying.

So one way to stop worrying is to pay attention to the here and now. Usually

present moments are pretty good.




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Breath Awareness

Again looking to meditation tradition for techniques, we can use breath

awareness as a way to hold our focus in the present moment.

The technique is simple. Without making any particular effort to breathe in a

certain way, just notice your breath moving in and out. You can also purposely

take a slow deep diaphragmatic breath. A diaphragmatic breath is one where

your abdomen actually expands as your breathing in. That means using your

diaphragm rather than just your chest to draw in air.

Also pay attention to the sensations in your body. Notice how cold or warm you

are. Notice how your clothing feels on you. Pick some object in the room to look

at intently, notice the colors and textures and the general shape of it.

As you're doing this, do you notice you can't be worrying at the same time you’re

intently focused on the present?

Both letting go and focusing on the present moment are fairly passive ways of

freeing yourself from worry. Now let's consider a more direct approach. Namely,

we are now going to challenge the worrisome thoughts directly.




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Challenging Worry

Let's begin with an overview. You know from your own experience that thoughts

generate emotions and these emotions can generate behaviors. Many people get

caught in a negative stress cycle. In this cycle, they experience the world through

their set of beliefs and assumptions. They react with negative automatic

thoughts and as a result experience negative moods and emotions.

Someone experiencing a negative mood and emotion reacts has a very different

internal state than someone experiencing joyful a mood and positive emotions.

The body releases vastly different compounds in response to those different

states.

As a result the negative moods can lead to a negative physical response. They

can be interpreted as another reason to feel stressed or they can lead to a

maladaptive behavior.

In other words, a situation might trigger negative automatic thoughts, which then

leads to negative mood, behaviors and outcome. Poor outcomes reinforce the

automatic thoughts and the cycle goes on.

On the other hand it's entirely possibly have a positive automatic cycle.

That is, someone could have a positive set of beliefs that leads them to have

positive automatic thoughts. The positive automatic thoughts can lead to a

positive mood and emotion. When you feel good physically, it’s easier to act

appropriately, competently and resourcefully. This increases the likelihood of a

successful outcome and therefore reinforces the positive automatic thoughts.




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It's clear that developing a positive cycle is desirable. Part of our purpose with the

exercises we've been doing is to gradually wear down the negative or panic

thought cycle to the point that it’s possible to replace it with a positive automatic

response.

To continue doing this, let’s work on challenging worry directly.

Psychologists would refer to the exercise I'm about to recommend as a form of

cognitive restructuring. As the name implies, "cognitive restructuring" changes

your way of thinking about a given subject. The aim is actually to make yourperceptions clearer, more accurate and more realistic.

As you’ll see, worry usually isn’t very accurate.

Earlier I recommended that you do an exercise where you confine your worrying

to a specific time each day. Now I am going to give you a few more specific

suggestions on how you can weaken worry during that worry time.

As you begin the worry session, I want you to write down what it is you’re

worrying about. Then write down each worrisome thought that you have on that

subject. Put on paper all the disastrous outcomes you dread.

After you’ve written all these thoughts down, take a look at them.

Ask yourself, what am I predicting is going to happen? How strongly do I believe

this will happen? What are my emotions and feelings about this?




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Also make an estimate of how strongly you believe the negative outcomes might

actually occur. What’s the likelihood that it might really happen? Estimate the

odds of the imagined outcome actually occurring. Express this as a percentage.

Zero means it would never happen and 100% means it will definitely happen.

Now that you can actually see what you’re thinking, your job is to question those

thoughts--that is challenge your worries.

Ask yourself what is the evidence for and against my prediction? How likely is

what I'm predicting really likely to happen? What's the worst that could happen?

If the worst actually did happen, what can I do to be able to handle it?

On the other hand, what's the best that could happen?

Now consider what really is most likely to happen. Usually you'll find that what is

likely to actually happen is far different than what you're afraid might possibly

happen.

After you’ve done this, give yourself an honest answer to the questions: “How

useful is it for me to worry about this situation? Is this really helping me?”

When you take the time to ask yourself these questions and write down the

answers you'll get a much clearer perspective on your worry. Very often the

situation will seem less fearful than it did when these thoughts were running

around in your head like a dog chasing its tail.

With the worry in a more accurate perspective now, consider how else you could

view the situation. What would be a more accurate way of thinking about it that




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would serve you? Is there a more balanced and helpful belief I could replace my

worry with? Is there a positive way to look at the situation that is still realistic?

This exercise is straightforward, but it is very powerful. However, the only way

you're going to realize its power is if you actually do it. You really cannot simply

read it and think that you know what it's like. Do it!

You'll notice some improvement almost immediately, but it's also an exercise

you'll get the most benefit from if you do it repeatedly. You will gradually be

chipping away at all your worrisome thoughts one by one.

A secondary benefit is that as you do this repeatedly, you will be developing a

new skill. That is, it will be easier and easier for you to challenge your thoughts

and see how realistic and accurate they are. You’re be able to recognize and

challenge unrealistic worry as it comes you.

You will also become very good at finding the thought that is more helpful, which

makes it more likely you’ll achieve a positive outcome.

This is the way you develop a positive thought cycle. You will find that it serves

you much better than your old habit of worrying.




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Problem Solving

Many people persist in the habit of worrying because they mistakenly believe is a

way to solve problems. It is not. It actually prevents real problem solving from

taking place.

When someone worries they'd generally have one disaster thought after another

playing in their mind like an endless loop recording. They often will focus on the

worst possible outcome and become nearly immobilized with the fear that it might

happen.

The anxious state that worry creates makes it almost impossible for them to think

clearly and see possible solutions. Worry actually impedes your ability to think

clearly and be creative. It’s called cognitive inhibition, but that’s a story for

another day.

On the other hand, problem-solving is a creative, constructive thought process. It

focuses on identifying what the situation actually is and what can be done aboutit. Mental effort is placed on looking for solutions not being anxious about the

situation.

In a problem-solving mode, we consider multiple options and their pros and cons.

We develop a strategy and action plan of how to best deal with the situation.

Effective problem-solving is a skill that can be learned. Here's one way of going

about it.

Pick a time when you can devote your full attention to solving the problem. You

want to be able to devote at least 15 minutes and probably a little bit longer to




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this activity. Any less and you won't have enough time to really develop your

thoughts.

Also, it's important to do this in writing. Issues can seem much larger when we

only think about them. We also have a tendency to get caught up in repetitious

thoughts. Writing them out on a piece of paper eliminates that.

As a first step, write down what it is you're worried about and ask yourself if there

is a problem to solve? It's useful to remember the serenity prayer here “Lord

grant me the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things

I can't and the wisdom to know the difference."

You can't solve a problem in a situation that you have absolutely no control over.

For example, if your daughter is having an outside wedding you might be

concerned about what the weather will be like on that day, but worrying about it

isn't going to change anything. All you can do is have a contingency plan (rent a

tent?) and then expect the best.

Similarly, there's no point worrying or trying to problem solve about other

situations over which in you have no control.

If it is a situation in which you have some control, you can problem solve.

The first step is to define the problem clearly. Be as objective as you can. Write

down the specific situation or behavior that you want to deal with. State the facts

of the situation without getting into emotions or subjective feelings.

Next, brainstorm. Write down as many possible solutions as you can think of. At

this stage force yourself to list as many as you possibly can. Even if a possible




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solution is pure fantasy and go ahead and write it down. If nothing else it may

stimulate further creative thinking.

Force yourself to continue to search for possible solutions even after it seems

you've exhausted all possibilities. It's at this stage that some of the really

interesting possibilities (the ones that would never come to you while you're

worrying) might come up.

Once you have a long list of possibilities, now is take the time to look it over.

Eliminate the ones that really don't appear very desirable or are completely

unreasonable.

Next, look at the remaining possible solutions and prioritize them in order of

preference or possible effectiveness. Look that list over and formulate a plan of

action.

The next step, of course, is to implement the plan, evaluate results and adjust

accordingly.

I think you can see that the process of problem-solving is very much different

than the process of worrying.

The idea that worrying is a form of problem-solving is a delusion and the sooner

one is free of that mistaken idea, the sooner they can begin actual problem-

solving.




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The Relaxation Response

People who worry chronically tend to experience physical tension their bodies.

This tension is not only uncomfortable and can lead to physical breakdown, but it

can also tend to perpetuate the worry itself.

When you're physically tense, the brain gets the message that something is

wrong. So learning to physically relax not only improves your physical health, it

helps bring worry under control.

Dr. Herbert Benson described the physiology of what he termed the relaxationresponse after studying meditators. However, the relaxation response is a normal

physiologic response and does not depend on meditation or a particular belief

system.

The relaxation response is a physiologic opposite of the stress response.

Obviously, we’re all familiar with the stress response - we have the opportunity to

experience it several times every day. It only makes sense to use the relaxation

response to counteract the effects of all that stress.

Only two things are required to experience the relaxation response: a point of

focus and a passive mental attitude.

The point of focus can be anything-- something visual or a thought. Meditators

often use a repetitive word or phrase as a point of focus. This verbal focal point

is called as mantra.

While it certainly is fine to use a phrase that has particular meaning to you such

as “The Lord is my Shepherd" or “Om”, it is equally effective to use a generic

term such as "one” or "peace".




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To elicit the relaxation response, simply keep your mental focus on whatever

phrase you pick. Expect that your mind will immediately wander. This is where

the next requirement for the relaxation response, namely a passive attitude,

comes into play.

When your mind wanders, simply notice it, say yourself "oh well" and gently bring

your mind back to your point of focus.

That's it. Just keep doing that for whatever period of time you choose. Start with

five or ten minutes and see if you can gradually build up to twenty.

You'll find that your mind wanders tremendously when you first try doing this.

That's fine. As long as you just casually notice that whenever you do and bring

your attention back to the point of focus you'll experience the desired physiology.

Muscular Relaxation

A good way to begin a relaxation response session is with muscular relaxation.

We get so used to carrying tension in our body that simply telling ourselves to

relax often doesn't work. However we're all very good at tensing up, so what

does work is to tense a muscle, feel the tension in that muscle and then relax

and let go.

Exaggerating holding the tension makes it much easier to release it.

To practice progressive muscular relaxations simply sit in a comfortable position.

Then, starting with your feet and working upward, gradually tense one muscle

group after the other. Hold the tension tighter and tighter in each muscle group

and then tighter still. Finally release it and relax.




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As you relax, you can imagine breathing in relaxation and breathing out any

reason for your tension.

Do that for each muscle group. For example, start with your feet, then your

calves, then your thighs, buttocks, abdomen, and so forth.

After you've worked through your entire body, you should feel considerable

physical relaxation. That is a good time to practice the relaxation response by

focusing your attention on a point of focus and maintaining a passive attitude.

One advantage of practicing progressive muscle relaxation frequently is that

you'll become very sensitive to sensations in your body. After you've had the

experience of muscular relaxation it's easier to realize when you're becoming

tense.

Many people who worry find that they chronically carry tension in their shoulders

and neck. Noticing when tension creeps into your body might tip you off to

situations that are troublesome to you that you weren’t even aware of previously.




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Take Care of Your Physical Health

Although worrying is a mental process, your physical well-being can directly

influence your susceptibility to it. It makes good sense to take care of yourself

physically and avoid some common mistakes that people make that make them

more susceptible to worry and it’s ill affects.

If I had to make one suggestion only it would be to exercise regularly. The

physical and mental benefits of exercise would make it a blockbuster drug if you

could get it in pill form.

Studies show that exercise is at least as effective as antidepressant drugs in

treating mild to moderate depression. It also stimulates the release of chemicals

in the brain that are associated with a sense of well-being. It lowers blood

pressure, helps control weight and even improves your sex life.

Exercising vigorously or simply going for a walk is a great way to defuse the

tension and nervous energy that can sometimes build up around a worrisomesituation.

Like a lot of physicians, I faced a malpractice suit several years ago. Exercising

every day helped me deal with the stress and keep my worry under control.

Along with exercise, diet is extremely important. Erratic eating and eating a diet

high in sugars and refined foods causes wild swings in blood sugars that can

make you feel irritable and anxious.

A diet high in fruits and vegetables, complex carbohydrates and lean proteins

has the opposite effect.




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Caffeine is a well-known stimulant. If you're feeling tense and tending to worry

you should be very careful just how much you consume. A cup or two of coffee a

day is probably fine, but you may want to experiment with doing without

completely and and see if you notice a difference.

Avoid alcohol. Taking alcohol may seem to reduce anxiety and worry because it

sedates brain function. However that affect is temporary and is likely to only

increase anxiety in the long run. In addition responding to worry by reaching for a

drink is likely to start you on the path to alcohol dependence and even abuse.

Drinking alcohol as response to worry it just isn't helpful. Don't do it.




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Getting Started

We’ve covered a lot a material here. Right now it may seem a little

overwhelming, especially the parts that may represent new ideas for you or that

may stretch your comfort zone a little.

If a particular idea or technique doesn’t appeal to you right now, that’s OK. But

don’t reject it permanently. Mentally put it aside for now and practice the

techniques that make sense to you now. Sometime in the future you can

reconsider the other ideas. As you grow and change, they may appeal to you

more.

One thing I do know is that these techniques work if you apply them. They’re

based on current psychological understanding and are the basis on many forms

of therapy that help thousands of people every day.

As I mentioned at the beginning, I think there are many life skills we need to

master to be able to live life well. Spending time in pointless worry is not living

life well. So if that is an issue for you, get started applying what you’ve learned.

A good place for most people to begin is the Worry Time technique – agree to

limit all your worrying to a set time and the rest of the time to live your life.

Once you’ve started doing that you can take some time to reflect on your beliefs

about worry and which ones you want to change. Remember that you’re

changing beliefs that you probably picked up without realizing what was

happening as a kid. The good news is that it’s easier to change these beliefs

than most people think, buy you do need to take the time to apply the methods I

showed you here.




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Taking care of your physical health with diet and exercise as well as meditation,

or at least using the relaxation response, is part of the overall package. It doesn’t

relate to reducing worry as directly as some of the other approaches, but you find

that feeling healthy and vital and stress-free makes it much easier to keep worry

under control.

Finally, I want to leave you with one of my favorite metaphors. I’d like you to

consider living your life as if it’s a work of art in progress.

Artists don’t always have a perfectly clear vision of what they want a work of art

to look life when they begin. Sometimes the ideas evolve as they work in themedium.

They also don’t expect the work to turn out perfectly on the first try. They

understand that it may take time and repeated efforts. Often they’ll do

preliminary sketches or try quickly put together models just to help them refine

their vision.

An artist’s skill as well as their discernment develop and improve with

experience. Over time and with continues practice, they become masters.

Masters never see their art as done. For them, developing and exploring their

craft is an ongoing process. Although they appreciate beauty and intermediate

works, they are always sensing how things can be refined even more and what

direction they’d like to go in next.

A master isn’t interested in the finished product; they’re interested in the process.




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Life is like that. There is no end point, no finally getting things lined up and

perfect and then continuing to live that way. As long as we’re alive, we will

continue to make distinctions and have preferences.

When we have a new experience, we become a different person with the benefit

of that experience. From that platform, we’ll evaluate things differently and make

different choices. Which will lead us to a new platform, from which we’ll…

And so it goes.

We’re always growing and evolving. So evaluate you life from the viewpoint of amaster artist. Consider how you’d like it to be and start moving in that direction.

Realize that your vision will evolve over time, but start going where you want to

now.

Develop the skills you need and refine your art.

I hope that some of what you learned here will help you create your masterpiece.

Stay well.




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Recommended Resources

The Wellness Book, Dr. Herbert Benson

Dr. Benson was the first researcher to recognize the relaxationresponse. He later used it as the central tool of The Harvard-Deaconess Mind-Body Institute. This book describes theircomprehensive program. As you might imagine, it cover therelaxation response in detail, but it also covers all other aspects oftheir program. The section on cognitive restructuring is especiallygood. It’s worth getting the book for that alone, but the rest is also

excellent.

The Panic Puzzle, Rich Presta

This program is a good adjunct to this report, especially for peoplewith extreme anxiety issues. It’s aimed at helping even people withsomething as severe as panic attacks. Although Mr. Presta isn’t aphysician, he has put together a comprehensive multimedia programthat includes several aspects of contemporary psychotherapy. It’s ahighly effective system. Click Here if you’d like to find out more.

The HeartMath Solution, Doc Childre

HeartMath is one of my absolute favorite techniques (so much so thatI went to the trouble of becoming a certified HeartMath instructor).HeartMath is based on physiology (heart rate variability and

interactions between the heart and the brain) that even mostphysicians aren’t aware of. There’s excellent science behind it and Ihighly recommend learning and practicing the techniques. Going to aseminar is probably the most fun way to learn, but you definitely canlearn it from this book.

http://www.panicattackrelease.com/panic-puzzle-wfnm.html

http://www.panicattackrelease.com/panic-puzzle-wfnm.html




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________________________________________________________________________ reviews, essays, school reports, etc. with credit being given to theauthor and source).

Medical DisclaimerThis report is intended for information purposes only. It is notintended as medical or professional advice. Always consult yourdoctor or therapist before beginning any treatment for yourself or aloved one to rule out any medical conditions.

Definitely speak to your doctor about the use of any medications orsupplements.

Excessive worry, anxiety, or phobias may be associated with medicalconditions. Diagnosing such problems is a complicated science andis definitely not the intention of this program. The purpose of thisreport is to provide healthy people with information about techniquesthat have been used by others.

No health claims are made for this program.

The author and publisher shall have neither liability nor

responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any of theinformation contained in this report.

The user assumes all risk for any injury, loss or damage caused oralleged to be caused, directly or indirectly, by using any informationdescribed in this report.

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