Word Painting

Writing more descriptivelyBy Rebecca McClanahan

Description• Description emerges from visual

detail, but includes aromas, tastes, textures and sounds of our world.

• Precise, careful observation unlock descriptive power

• Description may unveil the difficult, the ugly, even the unlovely

Character Profile she happened to be wearing a navy

blue Boston Red Sox V-neck, short-sleeve shirt emblazoned with the red ‘B’ logo in the center and the top of her white blouse peeking from underneath it. She also wore cream Capri pants with black sneakers without socks. The attire accentuated her slim, toned arms and legs. Her black, wire-framed glasses rested on her nose, complementing her pecan-colored face and dark, brown eyes. Her thick, black braids pulled back, expose a cheerful face as she recounts her allegiance to the Red Sox

Description as unlovely• Description may demand unrefined,

jagged, plainspoken and blunt prose

• Economy of words should prevail – house is better than domicile; prefer horse over equine mammal; red blood drips more resolutely than the sanguine flow of bodily fluids

• Fragments, a buzz saw, a rough edge, a painful cut – all these describe

Clip art for The Tell-Tale Heart

Description in motion

• Beyond precision, description should mobilize the story, not conceal or obscure the main idea

• But not just the correct name; select the word that will elicit the image, emotion or attitude required for the story

• Write for conciseness; know the correct terms for objects, people, places and events

Aristotle, 384-322 BC

Description in motion

Aristotle, 384-322 BC

• The pictures we paint should be motion pictures; a descriptive passage should push the plot along, nudging a character from here to there

• Description should create the illusion of movement and vitality to bring a static object to life

Description through verbs Restaurant patrons eat juicy hamburgers and crispy

fries or sip their favorite beverage while swaying to the rhythmic sounds of a live band. Club members relax in their private beach cabanas. You can almost touch the huge military vessels, cargo ships and private boats sailing by. A gentle breeze caresses your face and dances with your hair as you soak up the early afternoon sun.

Fort Story Travel Essay

Sound as description“An announcer blasts old and

current R&B and hip-hop tunes from the center of the square. . . Many family members joke with each other or recall old stories of how things used to be in Burton. The men serve as the primary cooks. Some sport football jerseys and brag about their grilling skills. Older men sit in the shade under tents or large trees just enjoying each other’s company.”

Live Event Essay

Description

• Make the reader see things; a salty kiss, a dancer’s leap, the fine brown hairs on a lover’s arms

• Effective description taps into the primordial senses evoking the physical world so the reader perceives via tastes, smells, sees and feels the scene

• Again, allow for the music of the language; the sounds and cadences of the sentences should reinforce the content of the description.

Metaphor and simile• Description must serve the larger story or be

discarded as excess baggage.

• Description frames the character’s or the narrator’s point of view.

• Use metaphor and simile, which, as Aristotle says, brings “metaphorical life to lifeless objects.”

Metaphor, simile and sound

“Walk and imagine the sounds of cannons, military aircraft, slave songs of rejoicing

or the sights from wartimes of long ago.”Fort Story Travel Essay

Simile and metaphor describeSo yesterday I returned to

thewilderness, my wilderness, bounding along on the dirt

trail, feeling free again, feeling

my anxieties vanish like

morning dew in the Texas sun.Source

Simile, metaphor and hyperbole

• Hundreds of descendants of the 100 original Burton Station families joke and remember the “bad and good old days” of back- and heart-breaking struggle! Struggles that may break a person of weaker character -- like glass -- into millions of pieces. In this case pieces of their spirit and soul.

Travel Essay

Simile, metaphor and hyperbole

“All I knew is that we were transfixed, this bobcat and I, one with another like lovers lost in each other's presence.”

I can't stand it. I'm a wreck without the wilderness. I long for the intoxicating scent of Bluebonnets, Primrose, Gayfeathers, Purple Horse Mints, Indian Paintbrush, Meadow Pinks and Black-Eyed Susans. I long for solitude. I long for my bobcat.

Source

Simile and hyperbole “The road wound through

rugged wilderness, traversing the Klamath Mountains. Paved and one-lane, with few turnouts and with gravel stretches in spots, Bear Camp Road climbs the crest of the Coast Range. It reaches over 4,000 feet in elevation. It's narrow, crooked, challenging, steep drop-offs are regular. It is nearly impossible to cross in winter.”Source

Description

• Description provides a palette for levels of mood or tone; dip your brush in one description and the sky darkens; in another, the sun breaks through.

• We must look, listen, taste, smell and touch the real world or the world of imagination. Or we can’t describe anything at all.

• Descriptive passages help the writer and reader shift gears in a story, changing its pace – slowing it down or speeding it up to create tension.

Environment as description

“Upon arrival at this historic place, you notice the gorgeous waterfront views at virtually every turn starting at the main entrance. Take exit 268, off Interstate 64 near the Hampton Roads Bridge Tunnel (HRBT). The HRBT connects Norfolk and Hampton in southeastern Virginia.

Once you find your way to the gray, serpentine ribbon of two-lane roads and bridges that leads to the entrance, I-64 and the Chesapeake Bay are to the right and spectacular greenery framing colonial brick architecture to the left. The sign at the entrance is the only indication this was an Army post. “

Travel Essay”