who’s the boss

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  • 1. Effective Parenting Strategies

2. Lack of Structure/Routine Lack of Consistency Using punishment instead of positivereinforcement Fear Unrealistic expectations 3. These are NOT the same thing! DISCIPLINE = TEACHING 4. SET FIRM, LOVING LIMITS USINGENFORCEABLE STATEMENTS MEAN WHAT YOU SAY AND SAY WHAT YOUMEAN SELF CONFIDENT, RESPECTFUL ANDRESPONSIBLE YOUNG ADULTS 5. IMPORTANT TO KNOW WHAT ISDEVELOPMENTALLY APPROPRIATE FOR YOURCHILD KNOW YOUR CHILDS TEMPERMENT(SPIRITED, SENSITIVE, EASY, DIFFICULT) 6. Recognize and reward good behavior Catch them being good What is your definition of good behavior? 7. BE NICE ! AVOID YELLING AVOID INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE BE MINDFUL THAT YOU ARE YOUR CHILDS ROLEMODEL RESPECT SHOULD BE A COMMON THEME 8. Lack of ConsistencyBetween married parentsBetween divorced parentsBetween parents and other caregivers 9. Avoid Meaningless ConsequencesFollowing through is essential-mean what yousay! Use Natural Consequences 10. DIFFERENT THAN THREATS NOT DRIVEN BY ANGER 11. PICK YOUR BATTLES! Offer Choices when Reasonable BUT NotEverything is Negotiable Red Light, Yellow Light, and Green LightBehaviors 12. PLAYING NICELY (BY HIS/HER SELF OR WITHOTHERS) SHARING COOPERATING WITH REQUESTS 13. Annoying but Acceptable!Whining, Pouting, Clinging, GrabbingOur Goal is to Modify These BehaviorsThese are NOT Time-Out worthy. SaveTime-Out for the Red Light Behaviors 14. DISTRACTION Great for younger children Swap the desired item for something moreacceptable Use Humor always a great toolSing a silly songMake up a game (clean up, bedtime) 15. Behaviors Which are NEVER AcceptableSafety IssuesRespect IssuesFamily Rules REQUIRES A TIME OUT OR CONSEQUENCE 16. Time In is a Positive Parenting Strategy Uses tiny bits of play and encouragement when your childis behavingAttention (smile, wink, thumbs up, brieftouches)Praise praise the actionDont go overboardPraise good tries A steady stream of time-ins help preventtime-outs! 17. HAND CHECKS-Visual way of rewarding good behavior-Use a washable marker and make a mark on theback of your childs hand when they dosomething good.At bedtime, count the checks and recallwhat he/she did to earn each one 18. Star Charts PlayOutside play, when possibleCreative activities art projects, pretendreading 19. KEEP IT SHORT (5-10 MINUTES)AdvertiseKids get to choose the activityWatching TV is NOT Special TimeHave a clear beginning and endDont punish your child by taking awayspecial timeDont do it right before bed 20. Adapted from Toddler 411www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/.../tips/toddler-discipline/ Anticipate conflictTransitions, tired, hungry Pick your battlesSaying no too often becomes likebackground noise Dont negotiate or make false promises Dont yell, but DO change your tone 21. USE ONLY FOR RED LIGHT BEHAVIORS ONE MINUTE PER YEAR OF AGE USE SHORT EXPLANATIONS USE A TIMER TO SIGNIFY THE END OF TIMEOUT 22. Common behavior strategy in previousgenerations NOT RECOMMENDED AT ANY AGETeaches children that hitting is acceptableAlways used when parents are angry, andmay lead to abuseIt DOESNT workDamages childrens and parents self esteem 23. Although children thrive on routine andconsistency, they WILL be resistant to yournew parenting strategies DONT GIVE UP!!!!! It may take 20 trials ofa new strategy before your child gets it 24. SPEND SPECIAL TIME WITH YOUR CHILD ENCOURAGE FAMILY FUN NIGHT VACATIONS 25. Use a variety of strategies to impact yourchilds behavior Not every technique works every time Give yourself credit for the good parentingyou do HAVE FUN 26. Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline, MDand Jim FayToddler 411 by Denise Fields and Ari Brown, MDThe Happiest Toddler on the Block by HarveyKarp, MDSupernanny 27. ILLINOIS MASONIC PARENTING CLASSES773-296-7340 1,2,3 MAGIC: EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE FORCHILDREN 2-12. TW PHELAN, 2004 BECOMING THE PARENT YOU WANT TO BEL. DAVIS, BROADWAY BOOKS, 1997 28. YOUR PEDIATRICIAN AT KIDS FIRST!!!!WE ARE HAPPY TO DISCUSS YOUR CHILDSBEHAVIOR CONCERNSDEVELOPMENTAL PEDIATRICIAN REFERRAL, IFNECESSARY 29. WWW.KIDSFIRSTPEDIATRICPARTNERS.COM