when words speak by

7/23/2019 When Words Speak By

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WHEN WORDSSPEAK(As It Was Written)

Nego True


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Copyright 2015 Nego TrueAll rights reserved


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DEDICATION

My first ever book, this moment alone is a blessing.Firstly, I'd like to thank Mai and Baba Hama Marange for raising me. As a kid

I didn't enjoy reading, but my house was consistently filled with reading materialthat left me feeling engaged and enlightened.

A massive thank you to my big brother, the better behaved half of me,

watching him succeed in his chosen course regardless of the trouble we were raisedaround in East London made me realise that any reason I had to not progress wasmerely an excuse.

A massive thank you to my baby sister Tinashe for being annoying enough toinspire me to write this, I Love You Kid.


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AS IT WAS WRITTEN

One of the most important things I've learnt as a Poet and a Spoken Word

artist in my brief time in this art form, is the power of pronunciation. I've chosen to

keep all of my poems in the initial form they were written in, words such as "want

to" may appear as "wanna". "Lemme" instead of "Let Me". I write how I speak, and

I hope my character, accent and personality resonates with you as you read through

my life in poetic form.


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Contents

Notes On The Fridge.................................................................Page. 6Man of The House......................................................................Page. 24Drifting..........................................................................................Page. 43Notes On The Table...................................................................Page. 54Short Poems About Everything and Nothing........................Page. 68We Raised Us...............................................................................Page. 74Rest In Paradise...........................................................................Page. 112


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When Words Speak By Nego True

3

Index Of Poems

#

2nd Place..................................................................Page. 27

22 Days.....................................................................Page. 17

5 Letters....................................................................Page. 122

A

Alone In China.........................................................Page. 118

Art..............................................................................Page. 72

B

Black...........................................................................Page. 70

Blame It.....................................................................Page. 7

Before We Meet........................................................Page. 22

Break Up Poem 'Sometimes'...................................Page. 63

Broken........................................................................Page. 114

Busy Person's Excuse...............................................Page. 28

C

Cycle..............................................................................Page. 109

D

Daddy Are You Proud Of Me?................................Page. 37

Dear Ladies..................................................................Page. 99

Discounts On Dreams...............................................Page. 96

DJ..................................................................................Page. 15

Don't Lose Her Trying To Keep Her.....................Page. 45


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Drifting............................................................................................................Page. 48

E

Every Word I Never Said.............................................................................Page. 57

Everything.......................................................................................................Page. 73

Eye Contact.....................................................................................................Page. 16

F

Family For Sale..............................................................................................Page . 25

Friends Support The Least When..............................................................Page. 97

G

Good Morning Text.....................................................................................Page. 10

H

Hunger............................................................................................................Page. 101

I

I'm Not Here To Tell You You're Beautiful............................................Page. 91

Ironic Love......................................................................................... ...........Page. 71

It's Not You It's...I Don't Know................................................................Page. 49

L

Last One Left.................................................................................................Page. 59

Let It Breathe.................................................................... .............................Page. 58

Let Me Go......................................................................................................Page. 44

Letter To My Little Sister.............................................................................Page. 31

Little Lies........................................................................................................Page. 62

M

My Girlfriend..................................................................................................Page. 19


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My Girlfriend Part 2.................................................................Page. 20

O

One Day...................................................................................Page. 13

P

Pick Your Poison....................................................................Page. 78

Problems..................................................................................Page. 50

Q

Quitting Is Optional.............................................................Page. 82

R

Rest In Paradise..................................................................Page. 73

S

Silence..................................................................................Page. 51

Stranger................................................................................Page. 8

T

Trust......................................................................................Page. 73

W

We Heroes Now..................................................................Page. 87

We Raised Us......................................................................Page. 75

Wear My Love.....................................................................Page. 11

Week After The Elections.................................................Page. 94

Whatever You Want To Be.................................................Page. 105

Where I'm From..................................................................Page. 69

When You Speak Of Me.....................................................Page. 55

Where's Ty?............................................................................Page. 116


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Chapter 1

Notes on the fridge.

..

Introduction

Love has always been an important factor in my life. I strongly believe

there are different types of love, from the love you have for your partner, to

your family, to your friends and even dare I say it, to your possessions. This

chapter contains the poems I've written during a long-loving relationship. I

remember exactly where I was when I wrote each poem, even '22 days'

(Which is a poem where I wrote a line each day for 22 days on how I felt

about my Mrs. and our relationship).

I believe love in itself is forever, yet showing it in your actions takes aconscious effort. It's vital to understand that our partners may not see love

in the same way we do. I know men that give their wife every gift money

can buy, yet if you ask her, she may think he doesn't love her, based on the

fact that she just wants time. It's important to take time out to communicate

with your partner and at the same time, make mistakes with them.

I don't know an article that can tell you what love is (in other words

they're all lying), we all have our own experience of it, this chapter is mine.

Love is far from perfect, but it's worth it.


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Blame It On

Blame it on the way the sun dances on your melanin,Or how your eyes manage to smile,And your lips tell me stories of places I've never been,

Blame it on the way you mother your friends,Or how your mere presence commands respect from men,

Blame it on the dance moves your mother taught you,Or the perfume she once bought you,

Blame it on our ability to speak without words,Blame it on the fact that I've known you through your worst,

Blame it on fate,Blame it on luck,Blame it on our ability to...

Blame it on time,Or how our lives somehow intertwine,

Blame it on chance,Blame it on how men have treated you in the past,

Blame it on my sense of humour,Or your lack of,Blame it on faith,Blame it on the history we've built,

Whatever you blame it on,I'm cool,Because it doesn't change the fact,

That I'm in love with you.By Nego True


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Stranger

Keeping your secrets is something I promise to do,But I understand why you're scared,Because you've learnt that trusting someone doesn't make them ashonest as you,

I know you want to open up to your closest ones,But the fact that they know you makes them prone to judge,So for tonight,

Just know it's us,And I want you to open up,So sip your wine and pretend to be drunk,

And we never have to speak about it again as you pretend to soberup,

Let's take the bus to nowhere just to speak about everything,

You understand that I understand you,It's okay for you to change,

You're quick to save the world,But won't ever ask for a hand to save yourself.

I guess it's hard to find peace, when every piece of you is dedicatedto saving everybody but yourself,

I understand you want to help everyone out but,Who's there to save the superhero when it all goes down?

When you feel like you need a shoulder that won't judge,And a mountain that won't budge,I'll be here,Ready to take on everything you're made of,


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I'll be your stranger,

Sometimes it's difficult to open up to the ones who know you,Because we know their expectations, so we don't want to

disappoint the one's we're close to,

But hear me out,

When your beliefs are in doubt and you feel like your friendsare few and far between,

call me,And we can have a one way conversation where I just listen

without response or reply,You can accept or deny,But I promise you,

The time we've known each other will not interfere with whatyou have to say,

Fall asleep on the phone if you have to,I promise to catch every tear that you claim isn't really a tear

and merely just your 'cold',I'll be your stranger!

By Nego True


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Good Morning Text By Nego True

I was sitting here thinking of ways to make you smile,

And it hit me,

What's the point in dating a poet if you don't get a random poem every once

in a while?

While you're sleeping, I'm up trying to build our future,

Sometimes I study random things so I can be our future children's

favourite tutor,

My role isn't to treat you like a possession,

But a blessing!

Everyday that I wake up,

You're the first thing on my mind,

The last thing at night,My fingers find peace in-between your hair,

And my chest finds peace underneath your ear,

Your smile makes the left side of your face crease slightly and I love seeing

it every time,

Your body fits so perfectly in my arms that I wish I could hold you every

night,

I've never known somebody I can laugh as much with,

My Lover, My Best Friend,

I can't wait till I can make you say "I do"

But for now, I hope you have a day as beautiful as you, Good Morning.


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Wear My Love

I'm not the romantic type,

I just happen to pay attention,

But let me paint a question,

When you get mad and you're tempted to flip,

If I kiss you from your neck to your lips

Will you forget what I did?

We've all got a past,

I'm trying to make you forget

Not regret those things,

I knew you were mine the moment you started speaking like me,

No knife and fork with the chicken

You even started eating like me,

You took my slang and claimed it as yours,

So I'll claim you as mine,

It's claiming time!


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I'll be that 'nothing',

What I mean is,

When you're with your friends and you start smiling away,

And they ask you what's making you smile and you say:

"Nothing"

I'll take the blame for that smile on your face,

Lay your head on my chest as I play with your hair,

The reason I always say "We" and not "I"

Is because I'll be standing with you when you're facing your fears,

I got you,

In the beginning you didn't know if I meant that,

So I spent everyday making sure I kept that,

I got you!

We know us best,

I'm trying to make you feel like you're on holiday at home,

So when your mum asks you why you're always laughing on that

phone, It's not a question, she already knows! - By Nego True


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One Day

One day I'm going to come get you,

We're going to order pizza whenever you want to,

You're going to ask me what I want whenever I say I love you,

One day we'll be able to take walks whenever you're feeling down,

A text is misleading,

Because I can't see your face when I read it,

One day we'll be able to roll over in our disagreements,

There's no splitting, so we're going to argue about who's family we're

visiting for Christmas,

Then laugh about how we made it this far,

One day you'll come home to complain about your bosses,

And how you think one girl at work doesn't like you because you made all

the profit,

And I'm going to ask you if you spoke to her about it,


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And you're going to say "No" but you saw it in her eyes,

One day,

I'm coming to get you,

See every day I work to kill my pride,

But one day I'm going to make you the happiest woman alive!

By Nego True


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DJ

You broke down how you felt to me,Hoping that I could help you,Even though we were inside,

The clouds played a big part in the scenery,The sound of the rain was your instrumental,

Forget every movie you've ever seen,Every article you've read,I'm going to show you what married life is,

Until you become sick of surprises,

I promise to treat you like the Queen you are,Your moans can be the neighbours background music,

One day you're going to wake up to your children saying

"Mummy, you sleep too much"

I promise to give you the background music you love.

By Nego True


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Eye contact

There comes a point where I look at you in your eyes,And just smile,

You always tell me to stop doing that,

"It's weird"

And even though I say "alright",

I'm really thinking,

'I've never seen anybody so beautiful in my life'

Even though my tongue can locate where your nerve is,

A mere conversation can still leave me nervous,

Sometimes I freeze in your presence,

Hoping my eyes can translate what my words miss,

I'm trying to give you everything you never asked for,

I'm not just talking holding doors,And holding my own on the dance floor,

It's funny how you can go from stroking my pride,

To long strokes through the night,

All from a conversation with our eyes,

I wish I could put into words what my eyes see,

And what my heart feels,Sometimes I freeze in your presence,

Hoping my eyes can translate what my words miss.

By Nego True


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22 Days

I promise to take care of you the best I can,

It's a blessing to be called your Man.

Today we didn't really speak and I apologise,

Yes I notice when you're peeking over my shoulder to check my

phone, you're not sly,

Today you done a poo while we were on the phone,

We're sitting in this room with silence as our background just mean

mugging,

But I guess these arguments just mean that we mean something,

I think you think I talk to others when times get hard,

In all honesty my phone just turns into a work line,

Sometimes I sleep without putting my phone on charge,I've got the best girlfriend any man can ask for,

Just got home late and hopefully you'll answer your phone just so I can

fall asleep with you,

The amount of times you told me you miss me,

You're mad judgmental at times lol (I only lol to avoid getting in

trouble for that statement)

Stop praying against people that need you to lead them through,

Stop rebuking the same people God wants you to reach out to,

You can't be everyone's everything everyday,

Your eyes make me smile,

You complain a lot,


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I'm grateful,

My Queen,

I plan to make you the happiest woman alive,

Love is worth it.

By Nego True


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My Girlfriend

My girlfriend seriously thinks she's funnier than me,

I'm not sure who gave her such confidence because it wasn't me,

We're best friends first, but this friendship does best when we're

loving in-between,

All them other couples are too formal,Sometimes I'm not sure if they're in love or employed,

We've argued before but even when it comes to an end,

It doesn't come to an end,

Then we make up,

Either way you cum in the end,

I've got the biggest crush on my own girlfriend,

My way of telling you that I'm grateful is,

Spending forever treating you like I'm still trying to chase you,

By Nego True


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My Girlfriend Part 2

I know I never say much and you say I lack emotions,

So I thought I'd put it all here in a poem,

So read this when the texts aren't enough,

Or as the years go past and you start to question us,

First things first you're not funnier than me let's get that straight,

And if I offer to buy you food and you say "no",

That does not mean you can take what's on my plate,

We stay up to talk,

Having debates like you telling me that my mum loves you more,

I never complain when guys move to you,

You get attention from left to right,

Of course they'll try,

You're beautiful,

And I'm not the only with eyes,

I messed around and found a winner,

I find it cute when I see these guys try move to her on Twitter,


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So they can keep trying I know you carry yourself like a Queen or

even better,

We sit and laugh about them together,

But you think my lack in emotions means I don't really pay attention,

Of course I get jealous,

You've got to think it through,

If I just flip on youts,

Without anything to prove,You'll think I'm rude,

And if I look like the bad guy, then he wins,

In all honesty I think all your friends are moving to you,

But I'm cool,

Because I've got something they'll never have,

You!

By Nego True


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Before We Meet

Dear Other Half:

Before We Meet,

Treat yourself before I steal that role off you,

Study,

Sleep,

Work,

Practice the sports you know I'm going to beat you at,

Then practice your speech about how you let me win,

Dance to your favourite songs in your room,

Don't stress yourself trying to find me,

I'll be there soon,

Don't try and become what you think I need,If you do change then I may not find woman behind the Queen,

I'm sorry for everything I can't protect you from right now,

But I promise, as soon as we meet I'll protect you from the clouds,

So before we meet,

Chase Your Dreams,

Live Your Life,

And I promise to do the same,

So when that glorious day does come,

We'll both be ready.

By Nego True


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Fill Me In

To_______

I ______ the way you _____,

The way you put ______ before you,

The way you ________ even when I _______________,

You filled a gap that I never knew was there,

And even though you lack _________________,

It makes me smile that you make it up with_______

So _______ with me until the _______________

And I promise,

I'll be here through the ____________

Ready To _____

I _________ you!

By ____________ and Nego True


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Chapter 2

Man of the house.

..

Introduction

From a young age I was obsessed with growing up. My parentsworked till late on weekdays so I had time after school to do

whatever I wanted. I remember sneaking into my dad's room whenI was really young just to try on one of his ties with my ManchesterUnited Football shirt. I didn't care about how it looked, I caredabout the status it came with. It made me think I could be 'TheMan'. I even put his belt around my baggy shorts and made my ownhole in the belt with a knife just so it could buckle around my small

waist. Again, I cared less for looks and more for status. Mysecondary school attempted to exclude me when I was 14,apparently selling sweets outside the canteen wasn't permitted. Thereason I say "attempted" is because I was also selling to theteachers, so they rewarded my silence with another chance. By thetime I turned 16 I thought I was a fully grown man. I treated myolder cousins like baby siblings. The term "Man of The House" wasless about gender in my household. I learnt the term from a show I

was watching at the time, I used to encourage my little sister to be a"better man than me". It's almost crazy to think that we lost out onour youth because we were preparing for adulthood.

I've been the most focused of my friends from a young age, Idon't get to 'hang out' or 'chill' as much as I'd like to, and thatbrings about conflict and misunderstandings. Some of the people I

was raised around think I've just neglected them. The truth is, I'vegot a dream, and if I don't succeed, nobody's going to do it for me.


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Family For Sale

I'm scared that one day when I have kids they'll tell their friends that

only their mum raised them,

Even though I slept in the same house that that they were raised in,

One day I'll get so caught up in providing,

That my wife will respond to questions on how good we are with

silence,Please!

Please!

Don't let the work take you away from the people you're working to

provide for,

I hope my Mrs. doesn't ever feel like she can't ring me because she

doesn't want to bug me,

I hope my future sons don't respond to the question of:

"Didn't we raise you better?"

With a "Whos we?",

Or I find something out about my children after my Wife because they

felt less connected to me,

I barely see my friends now and they tell me to "Keep working",

Apparently I'm not letting them down,

But I know my girl is going through pressure,

And I can't remember the last time she called me between lectures,

Understanding,


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She doesn't want to disturb me,

But if I'm honest, I prefer she did,

Truth is,

I want her to be a nuisance,

So from this day forward I'm making a national 'Just being you' Day,

Nothing special,

I'm just going to spend my time making sure you're okay,

No slacking around,When your girls ask you how you are with your Man,

I'm going to make sure your reaction is proud,

I promise to not let the work take me away from the girl I'm working

to provide for,

So this week, there's no gifts or presents,

My Gift, Your Presence,

And we are going to sit down and talk about every annoying thing your

teacher did through lecture,

How your boss could of done things better,

And then we are going to argue about how you beat me when we play

sports,

While I call you a cheater and as you roll up on me with my sweater,

We're going to turn off our phones and fall asleep together,

I promise to not let the work take me away from the people I'm

working to provide for!

By Nego True


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2nd Place

The expectations of being the younger sibling,Is something not everyone can live with,

I've spent my whole life chasing my brother,I only learnt to play basketball because I thought it would impress him,

We speak in insults to cover the obvious love,Separated by silence,Connected by blood,

The first hero I ever knew,I still can't confess it,

I saw how my brother's grades demanded attention,So I spent my childhood chasing perfection,

Being the younger brother means there's always a top score to beat,Even though I wasn't the smartest kid,

Everything I do is to prove to my parents that I can compete,But I'll always be chasing shadows on repeat.

By Nego True


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Busy Person's Excuse

Forgive me, I don't believe in this new trend of cutting off friends,

If you're with me in the beginning, you're with me till the end,

But you're right,

I need to stop making excuses,

And call more to see how you're doing,

I'll always have time for you, even though it doesn't seem that way,Sometimes I ring you late at night and we don't even speak we just sleep

until the day,

Forgive me,

Sometimes you Whatsapp me and yes I am online,

But I tell myself I'll respond as soon as I'm done sorting this out,

And on the way I tend to forget to rewind and reply,

I don't believe in cutting off friends,

If you're with me in the beginning, you're with me till the end,

I don't care if you don't 'add to me' and all those nonsense Tumblr lines,

I always hear people complain that their friends only ring them when they

need something,

I don't care if we haven't spoken in years,

You're my friend silly, you're supposed to ring me when you need

something,


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I'm not a 'snake' for not talking to you everyday,

If I was lucky enough to be able to chill with you all the time,

Then I wouldn't be lucky enough to earn a living from what I write,

I'm not busy because I want to,

I'm busy because I have to,

And one day we'll be able to celebrate that together, but right now I don't

deserve to,I had to turn down everybody telling me to turn up,

Maybe this is just another busy persons excuse.

But I know I've been working late, I don't need a reminder when I come

home,

When my days have been long and I ring you,

I want to hear less complaining and more "I miss you"s,

Talking to you feels more like a task these days,

You think me being away is because I don't care and I have to prove

otherwise without saying it to your face,

So everyday that I come home and I set time aside to speak to you at night,

That's my subtle way of saying I'm trying,

But I don't want you to feel like a task,

Because you think I'm ignoring you and I don't see that,

When I ask you to remind me it's not because I think what you said is not

important,


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It's because I know that it's something I'll end up forgetting and you'll end

up hating me for it,

So instead of talking I thought I'll put it all here,

Understand that I understand that what you ask of me isn't much,

But as everything builds up,

Sometimes I do forget,

That is not an excuse,

Just the truth.

By Nego True


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Letter To My Little Sister

Remember hearing our parents arguing after bedtime? It felt strange,

You'd crawl into my half of the bunk bed just to feel safe,

So I'd make a tent out of the quilts and tell you it's our fortress,

And as we'd hear footsteps I'd tell you to keep your voice down or talk less,

We played games to pass the time until you fell asleep,A few years later, who thought you'd be the one to lecture me,

I can't lie, I'm a hypocrite,

Because I used to be the biggest prick,

And I don't want my sister ending up with a guy like that,

I mean a guy like me,

Because I know what guys are like!

I just hope that's something you won't have to first hand see,

You always used to laugh when I'd trip up or hurt myself,

And I'd always hear you say something cheeky when I'd turn as well,

But what really makes me smile when I think back,

Is your silly theory of who I should date and bring back to mums flat,


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You'd meet a girl I'm talking to and then tell me after if she's good enough,

You'd say things like:

"She must think she's buff"

We'd laugh as you'd cuss her,

And even when I did fall like a sucker,And showed you my ex like I loved her,

No matter how much I was away, you knew I was still your big brother,

We don't need to spend time for you to know that!

I tell you:

"Call me when you need me"

So you never call because you don't want to seem needy,

That's my baby sister, I swear I love her,

And when people meet us they must think that we hate each other,

Because we greet with insults and shoves,

Our friends always watch confused but that's our equivalent of a hug,

I remember when so and so tried to bully you in year 6,

Hear this,

I sent 3 guys to tell him face to face that you're my sis!


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I guess that stopped it, because I never heard a word again,

I even took you to your first church event,

Back when I would sneak out to raves and you'd vouch for me,

You'd tell mum I'm at football,

Back when house parties were called shoobs,

Back when I was risking everything in the name of these hoods,

Me and David sneaking in late,

and you'd throw the key over the back gate,I'd slip in the house and count the steps,

Because we knew the 7th step always creaked,

It was peak,

But

It seems

girls these days know the price of their dream engagement ring before

they know the value of marriage,

Apparently there's a correlation between cooking and being married,

But before we get into that,

There's a couple of things I need to get out the way,

First things first,

I do not trust any of your guy friends,

That's something that I had to say,

And I definitely don't trust any of these girls that I think are leading

you astray,


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And I hate this growing up thing you've been doing recently,

How dare you get older,

I remember how you used to break things and then tell mum it was

me,

You'd be smiling as I'd be receiving the beats,

The cheek,

I remember how I hated looking after you,

Maybe I didn't hate it as much as I made out to,But when I knew so much about Hannah Montana and Kim Possible,

I needed an excuse,

You hate the fact that your friends think that I'm cute,

And I hate the fact that you borrow my clothes without putting them

back,

I think you're annoying,

And you think that I'm ugly,

Only one of us is lying,

And obviously that's not me!

But I think the hardest thing to take is that one day you're going to

have to leave this house and get married well,

Let me give you some advice on how to carry yourself,

First things first,

Being a female is not an excuse for you to raise your tone,

You raise your point,


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Before you raise your voice,

You were raised by men,

You weren't raised by wolves!

He raise his hand?

He weren't raised a man,

No,

He raise his hand,

We raise one back,

You've got an army for a surname and a soldier for a brother

and I will not!

I repeat,

I will not allow you to use your race or your gender as an excuse as to

why you cannot compete with the others,

Because every time you asked me a question I provided you with an

answer,

Even when I couldn't I provided you with the path to,

I won't just be your brother,

I'll play your father!

We raised us,

Love You Sis

By Nego True


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Daddy Are You Proud Of Me?

There's things our parents said to us growing up that they probably

think we forgot,

But as kids we soaked in those words you said when you were cross,

You see I forgive, I don't forget,

I live, I don't regret

And they might call me soft for writing this you see, but I just have one

question and maybe then I'll be free,

Daddy are you proud of me?

i

Juice in my cup, holding' back tears in my eyes,

I heard you and Mum arguing again non stop through the night.

I know it was about money, we've never really had a dime,

And I'm too young to work, so I'm considering crime.

I figured if I could provide for me, you won't have to,

I used to take your money when it was laying on the dresser, maybe this is

my fault too,

I don't know. Maybe I can buy myself my own school uniform, even give

back to you,

And if I'm honest I don't want to live that life, but I dunno.

Maybe if you and Mum had money then you'll stick around this time.

Maybe you'll be here on my birthday, maybe Mum wont cry.


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So I'm looking in the mirror like, this ain't drug money, this is dad couldn't

do it.

I still had to feed my Mum money, so I feed me now

so you and Mum can breathe.


ii

Sending money and spending time are not the same thing.

Because Mum played dad while you were looking after other woman's kids,

and you can skip the once a year calls on my birthday, I'd rather know if you

were meant to have me in the first place.

See Mum's always out working to provide and sometimes she goes over the

top with how she disciplines, but then I sit and think, she has to play the

man and woman without the help of a guy.

Sometimes I wish you were here.

But it's better that you're not if I'm real with it.

Because you claim you love me, but I saw you constantly making my mum

upset, then one day you disappeared and left me to deal with it.You want to know why I'm an idiot?

Because I'm with someone now and they're just like you.

Shouting abuse and with that same tongue, asking me what's wrong an hour

later, just like you. Doesn't understand that respect and fear are not the

same thing. Just like you. And when my friends are telling me that I need to


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up and leave and I bring it to conversation, I start to sit and think, I don't

think letting go is being free.

Because this must be love. I mean I learnt it from you.

And as stupid as it sounds. I still want you to be proud you had me.

So I've got one more question and maybe then I'll be free.


iiiI never knew you growing up, Mum never really mentioned you.

And it's not that I hate you but, If I had to choose the father of the year

between you and mum, then I'd choose everyone but you.

You told me, be everything I can be, when I finally met you.

I used to sit and think " I wanna be a father, but not like you. Grow up to

be a man, but not like you."

Do you know how many men would of killed to have a wife like yours but

not a dad like you?

So now I'm the man of the house,

and if anyone says I resemble my father in the slightest,

I tell them that I'm everything that's not you.

I'm nothing like you.

So I don't have one more question, I'm already free. I couldn't give a damn

if you were proud of me.


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iv

Whiskey in my cup, holding back tears in my eyes.

I watched you and learnt how to keep all the emotions inside.

You know, smile around guests but have no emotion when you're with your

own family, some call it pride.

People that meet me usually ask how I keep happy all the time.

I'm the one who makes all my friends smile,

I'm the one they come to for advice.I never tell you what's wrong, I just respond with "I'm cool"

Not because you're a bad guy Dad, I just don't want to disappoint you.

'Cause when you say "You can tell me anything" I know in my head I can't.

'Cause I've seen how you respond to smaller things, and I don't wanna take

the chance.

I got a hundred questions that I wish I could ask, but I just keep myself to

myself as the memories pass, headphones in, shut out from the world.

I wish I could of hired you when I was a kid. So I could of spent more time

with you, and did the things that fathers and sons did.

I always looked up to you, but you were always out of reach, I saw you as a

hero, but some heroes are unseen.

You taught me to be hard and you told me to believe.

I'm the man now Dad, people listen when I speak.

But that's not enough though is it?

Because I see you everyday and I still don't know you.

I studied hard and eventually worked.


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Even helped out a little bit in your church.

Respect and fear are not the same thing.

Well at least I learnt that for free.

So I've just got one more question and maybe then I'll be free,


v

Whiskey in my cup, holding back tears in my eyes.Everybody's complaining about their Dad, I just wish mine was alive.

I never had a lot of memories, but I cherish what I remember.

Your sister always tells me stories about you.

I know that she won't forget you.

See all these relatives say I look just like you

and sometimes I need guidance so I ask myself what you would do.

And if I'm honest I didn't get to know you how I should've known you and

that's what's really getting to me.

But I've done a lot since dad, and mum says that you'd be proud.

But we're still in the same flat, one day we'll be out.

And I'm not little no more, if only you could see.

Sitting by your grave, no one else but you and me.

And I wanna ask you one more question and maybe then I'll be free.


By Nego True


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Chapter 3

Drifting

..

Introduction

Love without direction is detrimental. The ability to love without some

form of emotional pain is borderline impossible, that's not an excuse to tryless, but an admission that we need to try harder. Love is not a fairy tale, it's

a lifestyle. There comes a point in any relationship where you question the

bond, when you start getting complacent with the efforts you make, you

drift. You can either let it continue, or take the signs as an opportunity to

strengthen your relationship. It may not be the things you've done,

sometimes our partners begin doing things that we thought weren't in their

character, such as lying, being disrespectful etc.

This chapter contains poems bout that stage.


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Let Me Go

When did the spark die?

I'm far from my last try,

But the same can't be said for you,

Don't hold onto me if you think there's doubt,

You blame our decline on time,

I don't need you to be here all the time,But your focus has left,

And if that's something you're not willing to accept,

Then you need to think of who's next,

The woman I fell in love with is too busy trying to keep secrets to keep

this together,

If you don't think you'll be here in the future then stop trying to take

things slow,

Stop trying to blame things on how you were raised at home,

Maybe you're still here out of love, maybe it's fear,

Fear of me being better with someone you don't know,

Fear that you won't find someone else that treats you how you're used

to in our home,

Whatever it is...You need to step up or step down and let me go!

By Nego True


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Don't Lose Her Trying To Keep Her

This one's for the guys,

I pray you don't lose your girl trying to keep her,

I hope you never hold your expectations so high,

That she feels pressured to lie just to meet them,

I hope she never has to open up to another guy,

Because she knows you'll throw it back in her face if she tells you

exactly how she feels inside,

I hope you never lose her trying to keep her,

I hope Sophia Thakur's poem remains just that,

And you never accidentally push her towards the one guy that you

know is secretly trying to move to her,

I hope you don't lose her trying to keep her,

I understand that it's standard to have standards,

But regardless of what another man says,

Sometimes we have to just trust,

I know it's hard to find the balance,

Trust me I do,

I hope you don't lose her by setting a dress code,

Just to avoid her flesh shows,

And end up focusing more on her best clothes,

Than her lack of smiles when she gets home,

I hope you don't lose her trying to keep her,


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I agree that there's is no excuse for lies,

But I hope when you hear her reasons, it doesn't make you realise that

this whole time it's been your mess!

I hope you understand that the reason she opens up to him and not

you, is not because she hates you,

More because,

She knows you so well that she's seen how you'll react!

Sometimes she needs someone to hold her hand,Please.

Please. Don't let it be another man's,

I hope your passion to speak to her every night doesn't become a task,

I hope she never has to ring another guy to get away from you,

Not because she hates you,

More because your conversations have become too scripted and she

needs someone to make her laugh,

I hope you never lose her trying to keep her,

But ladies,

Why do you always bring things up two days after we've spoken about

it?

It's not that we expect you to forget,

But your texts turn to notes about it,

I hope you don't lose us trying to keep us,

But back to the guys,

I hope your insecurities never intimidate the girl that you're dating


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I hope you understand the difference between keeping your girl secure

and becoming her security,

I pray you hold onto your keeper,

In all honesty this poem weren't for you,

I had to learn my lesson,

After I Lost Her Trying To Keep Her

By Nego True


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Drifting

My last stranger claimed she never lied, because she was good at

avoiding questions,

I pray you're the type to tell the truth without needing me to ask a

question to trigger the sentence,

The thing about laying with a liar is you have to lie to yourself to stay

longer,In all honesty,

I want you,

But

I'm forcing myself to trust you,

Because if I don't then it means I don't love you,

So please give me a reason to trust you,

Please

By Nego True


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It's Not You It's...I Don't Know

What's wrong with me,

Everyone else seems to get it right,

I've probably got the girl of someone else's dreams,

And all I can think about is how I can leave.

What's wrong with me,

I thought I loved this girl at the start.

Now I question why I ever took this path,Doesn't love last?

If this doesn't then it may be my last

love.By Nego True


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Problems

Sometimes I feel like the fires been reignited,

But I guess you can't reignite a match that's already been lighted,

So I'm laying here,

Distant to your thoughts and feelings,

Feeling as if I'm the only one trying to make this evening,

You respond to my touch as if I'm forcing you to be here,

Let's be clear,

I love you,

But how can I love someone that doesn't even want me to be near

I've tried everything,

But there's nothing you don't complain about,Maybe it's doubt,

Maybe you want to make it out,

Maybe I'm running out of questions,

I'll roll over now,

If there's love here, I'll find it,

Let's fall asleep in silence.

By Nego True


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Silence

I know you think it's normal but I know it's not,

I should never have to shout to get my point across,

It should never take me combating your disrespect with me

showing disrespect for you to understand why these things have an

effect,

This whole relationship is changing me,

This ain't the me that my family know,

I feel tired most days,

This makes my heart race,

I can say I know you but I'd be lying if I said I know myself nowadays,

You're quick to anger, quick to rage,

Me? I was calm and patient,

Until the days went,

And I realised you take my questions for allegations,

My silence for weakness,

Even when I go all out to pamper you,

You disregard it all and let simple questions anger you,

I know you, but I'm starting to question if I know me,

I'd tell you all this but, you either take it in 2 ways;

You get mad or walk away,


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And even though I'm the one feeling drained,

It's me that's going to have to fight for you to continue to stay,

So I'll probably stay quiet, cheer you up and make you smile about

things,

I make up my own flaws to make telling you yours easier on you,

Because you're quick to point out everyone else's problem but flip out

if someone else points out the problems in you!

By Nego True


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Chapter 4

Notes on the table

..

Introduction

Sometimes I believe that we fear the things that we secretlyknow we would do better without. The fear of living without what

you're used to can keep you in a position you don't need to be inlonger than you should be. I've never been one to commit easily,yet my lack of relationships has taught me a lot about how to treat

the woman I eventually give a ring to. Observing how other couplesinteract, also taking in my own flaws and mistakes in previous

relationships is helping me grow into the man I hope my wife willone day be proud of.

In order to get to this stage, I had to go through the 3 L's;love, lose and learn.

Each L is so vital to my growth going forward. To not onlylook at my ex's mishaps, but also mine. I know we're all quick to

blame whoever our past partner was, but at any stage of arelationship or life, there's things we could improve on, times whenwe don't pull our own weight. I'll admit that at first I put all of myenergy into blaming my ex, but two things came into play. One wasthat I only realised I was over her when I stopped hating her, andthe other....was that their was so much to learn from the time I

wasted (I mean invested) in her.During the break up I wrote poems, and said all the things Ididn't know how to word during the process. This may be the mostvulnerable I've been in this book, but it's worth it if you can takesomething from it in your own situation, whatever your situation,

you're not alone.True.


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When You Speak Of Me...

When you speak of me,

Please don't forget the memories we made,

The moments we shared,


When they ask about us,

Remember how we were and not how we ended,

I no longer have the energy for this fight,

It's no longer a question about who's wrong or who's right,

When you speak of me I can't change the narrative,

Maybe we're lucky we never had a kid,

No disrespect to you because you would've been an amazing mum,

But at least they wouldn't have to be split apart when the change did come,


I hope the effort I made makes a difference,

I hope the laughs I gave you still keep you in stitches,

I hope the poems I made you still give you tingles,

When you speak of me I hope our last form doesn't make you think I neverloved you,

When I speak of you,

Not a bad word will utter from my lips,

I will speak of all the amazing things you did,

Of course their were negatives,


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But we worked through them at the time so why would I now use them to

downplay the things we never did,

When I speak of you, I will speak of a Queen that just happened to make

some wrong turns,

When I speak of you I will speak of the best friend that was with me

through the worst,

When I speak of you I will speak of a tryer,

Because we don't always get things right,When I speak of us I'll tell them that sometimes you just have to let things

die,

And that I wish you the best with whoever you next let inside,

When you speak of me, please don't let your emotions tell the story,

And if they ask me what I've learnt, I'll let the man I become tell the story,

I'm hurt, but not bitter,

I promise to spend the time we've been given away making myself better,

So even if you speak of me as the worst, my actions can show otherwise,

When I went to wipe your tears you pulled back like it was the only thing I'd

left you with and you don't want to let go of it,

When you speak of me, remember I loved you, and at times Istill feel like I do.

By Nego True


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Every Word I Never Said

Recently I've been missing you,

But I'm the man now so I've got to act like I've got things to do,

I don't want to be like those other men,

So there's no in-directs on Twitter,

No emotions in my texts,

I mean, what more do you expect,I'm him!

You fell for me for my lack of emotions,

But now you hate the fact that I'm lacking in emotions,

Well to be honest, I'm not, I just choose not to show it,

I'm him!

I never told you exactly how I felt in the end,

I let the amount of time I invested in you talk,

The effort I put into getting to know you be my 3 words,

The amount of time I spent getting to know you as my girl, but firstly

my friend,

I never told you how I felt,

I let my actions talk and in the end,

I'm not sure if I miss you or the time we spent,

But...I promise you,

I meant every word I never said.

By Nego True


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Let It Breathe

Sometimes I think I'm just passing time,

Because even though I'm ringing her, I'm still thinking about you,

And how I wish we could of patched things up,

But I'm 5 minutes from phoning this new girl and in all honesty I wanna call

it quits, maybe wrap it up,

Because she's not you,Maybe me and her speak because I'm scared to be alone,

Maybe I'm just comfortable with her falling asleep on the phone,

But in all honesty, I know that I'll never call that house a home,

So I hope you don't hate me for saying I have to let 'us' go,

Most times we speak, you ask me questions I can't answer,

I tell you I'm not ready, but I probably won't ever be,

I don't want to hurt you so maybe I need to let it breathe

Maybe I'm holding onto you because I'm scared to let someone else

have you,

It sounds selfish but sometimes I wish I could go off and live life, put

you on pause, and one day return back to us,

To you...

But I know that's selfish,

And as hard as it may be,

We need to let us go,

Let it breathe By Nego True


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Last One Left

Secretly, the next time I see you I want to have everything in place,

Just so I can show you how much I've changed,

I think you think that I've moved on,

Because I don't ring, text or message you the number for my new phone,

Yeah I know those withheld calls are you,

And I know you think I've fully gotten over you,

I know because I think the same thing,

It still doesn't sink in,

So I'm up late at night,

Over thinking just to stop myself from over thinking!

Ironic I know,

A relationship consists of two people and I don't wanna be the last one left,

Because you're making steps forward and I'm stuck here,

I wonder if you once cared,

Maybe I sound soft,

But these are the things I won't say out loud,

All my status's are about achievements and how life is cool,


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In all honesty It's just my way of convincing me that I'm moving

forward without you,

I see that you're happy without me,

and I think about how fast you're moving on,

So in return I wrote this poem,

Just so I'm not the last one left,

I still get random impulses of missing you,

On your Insta hoping I don't accidentally double click when I'm scrollingthrough,

My mum's asking how you are,

I get on my terminator and tell her you're not around no more

She says:

"And who do you think that's because of"

I wish I could show you how much I've matured but at the same time I can't

reach out to talk,

Maybe pride's stopping me ringing you,

Because every time I think of you,

I pause and catch myself missing you,

I'm sure the feeling's not mutual,

But if I'm being truthful,

It would be quite cool,

If you'd barge in while I'm writing this piece and tell me the feeling's mutual,

Any moment now,

Any moment now,


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Wait for it,

I guess life isn't as good a movie as I thought,

But one thing I was taught,

Andrew once told me,

"We base relationships on movies,

When movies should be based on our relationships"

I only see two options whenever there's a gathering of one of our

mutual friends,

It's either show up looking like the man of the year,

Or make sure I'm not there,

More times I pick the latter,

Because I don't wanna see your face anymore,

In the end I hope you're blessed,

Thanks to time and life I know I won't be

The Last One Left!

By Nego True


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Little Lies

Yes, they're little lies,

But they make me wonder what you could be covering up,

This is not an attack on you, it's more a poem for my sanity,

Cause when two partners in a row lie,

I've started questioning if it's less you and more me,

Maybe I'm too harsh? Should I go more easy?

Maybe I'm giving you reasons to deceive me,

So I start letting things go that I shouldn't,

Just trying to be the good guy instead of the villain

You blame me,

Say love is about trust and you shouldn't feel so stressed as my girl,

That's true but, I dunno,

Maybe if you lied less then you'd spend less time defending yourself,

I think the craziest thing about this is that I'm still with you,

Tryna work on our issues

But I can't be direct without you thinking it's an argument

I started telling lies too,

But you're so caught up in keeping your lies in check that you can't tell the

ones that I do.

By Nego True


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Break Up Poem 'Sometimes'

It's been months since we last spoke,

Even longer since I've seen you,

I hear a couple rumours from a couple of your people,

I blank out everything now,

Sometimes I even question if I remember your face,But all it takes is one little thing for it to all flood back and I start re-living

the best of our days,

I called this poem 'Sometimes' because...

Well you'll get it by the end,

Sometimes I'm sure I'm over you,

I start telling my friends,

Like "Bro I don't think I could go through that again"

I tell'em that I wanna see you happy and I'm alright with letting you go,

But sometimes I go through a milestone and I think of every way of letting

you know,

So I start clicking on your Facebook even though you're never on it,

Start asking myself why I don't just ring you, sorry I'm being honest,

Sometimes,

I'll stare at your number telling myself not to call it,

So I'd ring you on withheld just to listen to you talking,

And here's me thinking I could never relate to Drake,


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That's a good lie,

Because the woman that I would try,

Is happy wit...

Yeah you get the picture,

But that's sometimes,

Because sometimes I'm talking to other girls seeing the potential in a new

one,

She's talking about our future and I'm listening, thinking we should'vebroken up sooner,

I'm sitting here like being single made sense now,

But that's sometimes,

Because there's always something that brings me back to how you made me

feel,

And sometimes I sit here blaming myself,

How did I throw it all away,

What do I need to change about myself?

And sometimes I think Na,

She lost out on me,

She was playing too many games, if anything I start to feel free,

Sometimes I think what we had was special and I don't see how you or I

could find another 'us' again,

Then I think bout being replaced and think every relationship must be the

same,

Sometimes I think I over think it too much,


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I never really speak out these days, I'm running out of people to trust,

And sometimes I think the only way we can get back together is if we get

over each other first,

I know I know, but...sometimes it makes sense,

Sometimes I delete your number,

I say that because I'll get all brave and delete it like "Yeah I did it"

But I know your number off by heart so it ends up back in my phone

anyway,Sometimes,

Sometimes I sit here thinking about you, and if you're thinking about me,

Then I think "Nah, she's happy without me",

Sometimes I feel to get up to go get you,

But it's not that easy,

Sometimes I wonder if you want your hero back, those hugs when you're

scared, motivation when you're worried,

Don't let me have time to myself,

Because that's when I think of you the most,

Late at nights when we should be on the phone

Or mornings feeling weird because we haven't spoke,

I'm starting to relate to songs that I used to think were just good musically,

Seems like a lot of singers went through this guess it wasn't just you and me,

Everyone's telling me that we've got a happy ending,

And sometimes I believe it,


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I used this poem as a diary,

A million memories guess I got to let them all pass,

At the time it felt like we were together forever now it's over, it feels

like it happened so fast!

Guess there's not always a happy ending but sometimes I wish there was

though,

Sometimes I can justify it,Sometimes I can't,

Sometimes I've got these girls telling me to get over you,

In all honesty I know they're just trying to get a chance,

Sometimes sometimes sometimes,

Sometimes I was in the wrong, sometimes you were,

But no matter how complicated things got,

I added you to my prayers,

And I'm living my life now,

I just pray that you're happy and whoever you end up with,

I just pray you have a beautiful future,

Now let me put this poem out before that last statement becomes another

sometimes!

By Nego True


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Chapter 5

Short Poems About Everything And Nothing

..

Introduction

Believe it or not, I think and write a lot. Sometimes poems don't get

finished, but most of the time I read them back and realise....That it'senough. I've spent days, weeks, months on poems, trying to get them

perfect. These aren't those poems, these are the one's that I wrote and knew

from the last word that I wrote that I've got across everything I wanted to

say in one swift go.


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Where I'm From

Where I'm from the ladies find comfort in their figure,

And the guys find security in counting figures,

I guess that's what happens when your town lacks in father figures,

They search for love in anyone,

I'm nobody's hero,My biggest fear is that I can't save everyone,

Everybody's asking me for bring-ins,

I pray you do it yourself and meet me in the middle,

The young are proud to say their age because they know they

have time to grow,

Whilst the old are ashamed to say their age when they know

they haven't done enough to merit the years.

By Nego True


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Black

Let me break down how much our minds have been messed up,We may be the only race,

That feels less safe,When we see someone that looks like us,

In A world where we have to type 'Black Lives Matter' because theworld believes opposite,

Kings and Queens, but yet we're treated like we're less than human,This is not some chip on the shoulder,

We'll stop tweeting 'Black Lives Matter' the moment we gettreated like we do,

I Understand That Reputation and Repetition makes stereotypes,But Our Successes Are Ignored,Whilst Our Failures Are Hyped,

But regardless of what they throw at us, we stand, we fight,

Our Future's Bright,Our Future's Black

By Nego True


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Daughters

We're too busy training our daughters to be mothers, that we

forget that they need to be kids first.

By Nego True

Ironic Love

She Fell In Love With The Idea Of Love,I Merely Fit The Mould She Created,

There's A Thin Line Between Adorable And Annoying,That Line Is Called 'Time',

Now The Reason You Hate Me,Is The Same Reason You Fell For Me.

By Nego True


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Art

These poems make pictures,Because when you play with words,

You have to paint them first,

I put my life into words,

They think it's easy but I've learnt,

That the greatest verse has to break you first,

Life holds no rehearsals,

We're searching for perfection but if their weren't any sinners,

Then what would the church do,

They say art is expression,

So if I punch a man to teach him a lesson,

Does it make me any less of a person?It's just a question,

What's art to me,

May not be art to you,

True

By Nego True


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Rest In Paradise

Can I Lie To You?

I'm Coping,Time's Precious,

I Just Wish You Could Outlive The Memories You Left Me With.

I hardly visit your grave site,

But when I do I sit talking to you like you're still here,

See you soon.

By Nego True

Everything

You'll lose everything trying to save everyone,

Please,

Live life before you write about it,

Everyone's Got A Dream,Not Everyone's Got A Plan.

By Nego TrueTrust

I just pray you reward my trust with loyalty.

By Nego True


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Chapter 6

We raised us

..

Introduction

'We Raised Us', I remember when I first conjured up this term. I was

12, my teacher had threatened to call my parents and the police because I'd

been selling sweets to students and 2nd hand phones to teachers. They were

concerned as to where I was getting the phones I was selling, I had

previously sold a BMX Bike to a teacher for her son's birthday so she stayed

silent throughout the meeting, hoping I wouldn't tell on her. The Principle

opened her mouth to imply that mine and my friends parents could never

encourage my behavior, so where did I get it from? And I answered with a

simple

"We Raised Us"

It's grammatically incorrect, but that didn't matter, she knew exactly

what I was saying. As young as I was, I understood that I had to take

responsibility for my actions where necessary. My parents did raise me well,

but there's also 12 hours in the day in which school and my town wereraising me. It may have been outside influence, it may have been animal

instinct, but whatever it was, I was confident in my ability to carry myself as

an individual from young. This chapter is the poems that show the rewards

and the sacrifices of the life I chose.


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We Raised Us

See, there's certain codes I was raised by,

And they refused to understand us 'cause we refused to change our

standards,

My little sister used to question why my room always had packages in it

And under my mattress was different,

I hope they understand where we came from before they judge us,

NFA was a one-off,

so

We were in court with the gloves off, never told Mum what we told Dad

'causeShe couldn't understand that what we'd done was to save us,

Forgive us before you forget us,

Lead us before you neglect us,

I guess we raised us in this town, some went jail, some got laid in the ground

and

Some changed up just to get change in this town,

They labeled us a unit,

But we called each other family,

I heard girls deny they were raised in this place,

Queens lost their crowns on the block staircase and

Bluetooth got me that footage back in Year 8


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I ain't saying no names,

But we were raised here,

We made heroes out of the olders, then we grew up and realised that there

was nothing they could show us,

They used the money to control us, the rep just to hold us,

I told my brother forget the town, do you and stay focused

And forget girls,

Cause round here they're either someone's baby sister or someone's babymother,

We've seen skets rebrand and then try to trap the brothers,

In fact, scrap speaking on this subject,

When your son comes home with a permission slip for a lesson trip,

You can't pay the school with a ten of piff,

What I'm trying to tell you is, rep won't pay your bills and the ends won't

feed your kids,

I've lost friends to this postcode split,

The road ting's sh*t,

Probably why I ain't involved in it, I'm the good guy but

Since '07 guys are still trying to tell me who I can and can't talk to,

I don't owe this town and I definitely don't owe you,

Every issue seems to start with P,

I can't take another RIP,

My girl always says I never really talk and I don't put how I feel in statuses

no more, everything's changed,


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I only put it in the music,

Hear my pain,

I had Ash living with me before he went jail, f*ck road,

So I got to make it before he comes home,

I need to make it out before Chucks comes home,

Ignore the views, ignore the buzz,

I made a living off of what I love,

Please don't take this as a boast, this is just talk,I'm planning a five city tour, I've never been nobody's support act,

So when you talk bad, remember what I did, what the flip is a diss track?

I remember going into overdraft to order a Big Mac,

Now my only stress is if my girl's present should be gift wrapped.

I'll give my brother everything even though we don't look alike.

Tell my little sister we're five shows from leaving the hood behind,

Even though I failed English Literature in school, it doesn't bother me

Cause now they study my poems in anthologies!

By Nego True


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Pick Your Poison

I want to ask you whats worse?A Pastor whose always lived with his son, but whose never been there

for his Son?Or a prisoner? Whos never lived with his sonbut has always been

there for his Son?

I want to ask you whats worse?A single Mother that spends 40 hours a week trying to feed her Son?

but never really gets to see her Son?Or a single Mother that spends 40 hours a week trying to see her Sonbut never really gets to feed her Son?

I'm trying to ask you,whats worse?Because the one thing Ive learned is that life is all about sacrifices,

Sometimes you have to put something Beautiful Last, to makesomething Beautiful Last.

You have to pick your poison.Would you rather give an alcoholic cocaine or a drug addict

Hennessey?

Im trying to ask you,whats worse?

Because theres a dangerous thin line between whats right and what

can be justified in your mind,

Let me explain,You walk into a jail cell

A murderer might tell you at least he hasnt raped anyone,And a rapist might tell you at least he hasnt murdered anyone,

They know theyre both wrong, theyre just trying to figure out whatsworse,


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Theyre trying to get you to pick their poison,

Because how do you judge whats right from wrong,

Is it based on your religion as it stands?Your moral high ground as a man?

The way you were raised by your family?or the law of the land?

Im trying to ask you whats worse?

Ill tell you my problem,I always say a prayer the night before court,

But I've never said a prayer the night before I got caught,

So I want to ask God "whats worse?"The man thats only ever said a prayer for the purpose of forgiveness?

Or the man that never said the prayer but he never did the crime tobegin with?

The rapper that you say is leading everyone to hell?Verses the fact that youre a believer that rebels?

The man that wont help his dying mother because he thinks God will?Or the man that wont help his dying mother because he thinks its

Gods will?

The man that wont help himself because he thinks God will?

Or the man that wont help himself because he thinks its Gods will?


Pick your poison;Is it love or lust?

Truth or Happiness?Peace or Justice?


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Let me explain,

Im not seeking success or even love yet,But when you lose your friend to some needless dumb kids, youre left

with one question,What comes first? Peace or Justice?

Because when the justice doesnt come you feel the need to take it intoyour own hands,

And when the peace doesnt come, you think its because the justicehasnt come yet,

So when you do everything in your power, to leave the personresponsible either in jail or dead and you realize it doesnt bring back your

friend,You realise you lost peace trying to chase justice,

But you do nothing and you lose justice trying to chase peace!


Ladies, do you make love trying to find it?

Ladies, you know when you think of your ex right?And you see him with a new girl and she isnt even nice on the

eyesight,Your friend calls you up and says,

She isnt even a 5? She isnt even the right size! She isnt even histype!

And your friend tells you that he "downgraded"

Basically, I want to tell you that if your basis for the fact that hedowngraded is the fact that her looks are basic, hes not the one that

downgraded,You picked your poison,

I let my mum down trying to save her,


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Raised in the church building by atheists,Dad was more concerned with showing face than he was with showing

faith,

I lost my friend young,Police got there too late to save him from the cemetery,

So when I saw my friend getting rushed I knew I had to jump in.Because If I rang 999, they aren't getting to me,

So its ride or hes getting buried. Fight or hes in a cemetery.I learnt young that theres a difference between whats right and whats

necessary,

I had to pick my poison.

So next time before you ask whats worse,You need to understand that theres a difference between whats right

and whats righteous,

Because whats wrong isnt always whats bad,

And instead of asking whats worseAsk what we can do for each other,

Because the more we ask whats worse, is the more we justify,Next time judge a mans intentions before his actions,

His reasons before his mistakes,Ill be the first to tell you Im a hypocrite.

Sometimes I tell liesI picked mine

Whats your poison?

By Nego True


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Quitting Is Optional

Quitting is optional,

Don't let anybody make you feel like a fool for not chasing your goals,

In-fact I'll give you three options,

You pick which one you want to blame for your lack of success,

Media, Society or the Government,

It's as easy as that,Don't worry about what you've been through,

Remember it made you stronger,

So let your kids also experience having to go through pain and hunger,

You can either invest and see a change in numbers,

Or you can buy chains in numbers,

There is no reason for you to succeed,

Well other than your mother, your siblings and your granddad that

passed,

But as you say...

they know your heart,

As long as you're happy, don't worry about doing exams and tasks,

Live the rest of your life without preparation,

Please

Play your part and pray you'll pass,

You can always tell your kids it was your skin tone that held you back



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Being average can't be that bad,

Stop worrying about silly things like financial freedom and good

education for your kids,

Let them Live,

In-fact,

Let them take care of you the same way you tried to take care of yours,

And for all those years mum struggled to stop you being poor,

hmmmmLet her struggle a bit more,

Don't worry about failing as long as you feel good,

You can either relax or revise.

I mean who needs grades when you have pride,


Stop stressing about being great,

Be average,

Let someone who actually deserves it, live the life you were meant to

live,

And take what you were meant to take,

You can either live the story or tell it,

Your Choice

By Nego True


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84

Has Anybody Seen Love?

I've been standing in the Church with my knees below the dirt,

Paid Tithes,

Prayed Christ,

"Please show me I've got worth"

Because they tell me that I'm saved but your Gospel's kind of Changed,

Judas is on the pulpit and Peter don't mind denying you,

Sorry I lied,

Caesar's still on the pulpit giving everyone a right to choose,And it's no longer Clear because everyone is repping you,

So they tell me Jesus is Love and Love is in the Church,

But every time I walk away there's one thing that I learn,

Your people are your people but they don't care about the people,

So how do you claim you Love an Invisible King?

But can't even be there for His Visible friends.

So I'm standing in the dust with my stick inside the mud, writing out

"Has anybody seen Love?"

Apparently the hood don't really love me, and my friends are seen as

worldly,

But as worldly as they are there's a number that would take a bullet for me,

And that ain't metaphorical,

Family that's the life,It's not egotistic or pride,

Growing up knowing one day your going to die,

But I guess the Church don't understand that because it's all bout financial

prosperity, health and a long life,


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Sometimes it feels like they don't believe Christians should die,

Like Martyrs are jus a YouTube vid and even though they're people who

loved Christ,

We're content with this Gospel that only leads to an earthly paradise,

Feels like it's everyman for themselves that's why I haven't seen my pastor

or anyone from my first church in a long time,

And the hood are moving snakey too,

They set my lil' man up and now he's serving 2 (years) so I look left to thechurch and see some people that couldn't hack the hood,

Rapping like they were on it but really they're only Gospel MC's because

they were fully shook,

Then I look to the hood and see uncertainty in how they look, so I'm

standing in the dust with my stick inside the mud,

Writing out


And it feels like everyone can point out a scripture for this thing called

Love,

Everyone else can tell me to put my faith in this King they trust,

And I'm sick of using all His people as excuses,

But if His Word is where the truth is,Besides the old school grammar and the new wardrobe I'm going to have to

be up and ruthless,

It's just a Bunch of re-quoting part-time happy people that if it came down

to life or death,

30 gold cold coins would turn them all Judas,


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Everyone will let me down one day or another,

But crying to yourself ain't going to change the way you suffer,

So as many times as your standing in the dust,

With your stick inside the mud,

Writing out


You need to look at how you Live,

Forget others and think about what you give,Because as much as people turn their back on you for the way you live,

You can show love no matter what you receive,

So next time you're standing in the dust with your stick inside the mud,

WRITE out

"Does anybody Need Love?"

Nego True


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We Heroes Now

I remember when I caught my friend posing,

She asked me why she don't look like the girls in Vogue and

I told her you'll never look like the girl on the poster,

Not Because You're Not Beautiful,

But because the girl on the poster doesn't even look like the girl on the

poster,Raise your chin,

And drop your fear,

Whether you stand up straight or arch your spleen,

You're still a queen,

We Hero's now,

We spend forever talking about how much our parents did,

Two jobs to raise their kids,

But sometimes we forget,

That eventually we'll have to play them,

We have to be the Hero's

My little man asked me why it ain't it cool to pay the bills and raise the

youth?

Why hasn't society made being a man cool?

I don't want an 'S on my chest'


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Burn the cape and drop the suit,

We men, taking responsibility is what we're supposed to do,

They were never around in the hood,

So they're rapping about giving back to make amends,

I sat these young men down to make them men,

You've got to understand that we're heroes

I could give my little brother money right now,

But he'll probably re-offend trying to make it stretch,

But if I give him nothing but sit him down,

Then he may never go jail again!

When your family need saving but your tested by a fool,

Would you risk it all just prove you're not soft,

I know you've got the heart to fight back,I just want to know if you've got the heart not to,

I tell him to let them rap about moving O's,

We moving homes,

They're running round like they've got a point to prove,

We running around proving points!

I am not saying stop trapping to make do,

I'm saying there's no batman to save you,


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Don't blame this on your father disappearing from your fam,

We Hero's now,

Step up and take his place,

No!

Step up and be the man!

I used to sell everything to everyone in my circuit,I never once moved with a purpose,

Saving to give my mother shoes and purses,

If I was in the garden of Eden I probably would of sold the fruit back

to the serpent!

Remember me!

I'm when the hero becomes the bad guy,

I pray you never follow me,

Just follow my words and be a better me,

Because I made the mistakes that allowed me to write this,

Remember Me!

We Heroes Now!

By Nego True


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I'm Not Here To Tell You You're Beautiful

How many likes does it take for you to be beautiful?

How many pictures do you have to delete before you realise your favourite celebrity

goes through the same things as you?

How many times are you going to re-upload your most liked picture,

Just to get likes quicker?

How many times will you step in those heels,

Just to add 100 filters to a heart...I mean a face that's already concealed?

Before you realise they never fell in love with you,

They fell in love with your editing skills.

I'm not here to tell you you're beautiful,

I'll let your favorite singer and your friends do that,

I just want to know how many people's opinions you need before you believe that?

Because, what's 100 likes when there's only one person you spend your

evening with?

What's 50 favourites when your favorite can't get through to you because you're

more concern

when words speak by

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