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English 096

What to Avoid and What to Do

What to Avoid

Here is a short list of writing problems to avoid:

Avoid contractions. Formal usage forbids the use of contractions, and besides it just sounds better without

contractions. For example compare these two sentences:

With Contractions: Gottliebs right, but he shouldve also tried to consider other points of view becauseits onl fair to do so.

Without Contractions: Gottlieb is right, but he should have also tried to consider other points of viewbecause it is onl fair to do so.

Avoid !"# statements that wea$en our argument. %hrases li$e !" believe,# !" thin$,# !&he wa " see it,# !"t

seems to me,# and so on, all impl that the statement that follows is only our opinion as opposed to being anargued position or a statement of fact. For example, the following statement is wea$:

" thin$ people in 'os Angeles are right to worr about toxic waste dumps in their neighborhoods.

"f ou simpl leave off the !"# part, the statement is much stronger:

%eople in 'os Angeles are right to worr about toxic waste dumps in their neighborhoods.

Alternativel to leaving off the !"# phrase is to rephrase the sentence to give it some persuasive power as in thefollowing:

(ost readers agree that toxic waste dumps in their neighborhoods are a serious problem.

)ho would not thin$ that neighborhood toxic waste dumps are a serious problem*

Avoid using !ou# when ou mean a specific group of people or ourself. +se !",# or !%eople,# or !ne,# or

whatever designation is appropriate. For example, the following statement misuses !ou#:

)hen ou loo$ at the test scores, ou can understand the problems we face.

"n the above sentence, the first !ou# reall means the writer of the paper. However, to refer to the writersown opinion is usuall a wea$ argument. "nstead rewrite the sentence to impl that all readers would see thesituation in the same wa:

)hen one loo$s at the test scores, one can understand the problems we face.

A loo$ at the test scores reveals the problems we face.

As the consistentl low test scores reveal, we have serious problems.

(a$e sure the antecedent to each pronoun is clear. )hen in doubt use the noun. For example, the following

sentences are unclear:

(i$e taught Geoff how to live on the streets. He needed this to survive.

"n the above sentences, the !He# in the second sentence refers to (i$e, but it is obvious from the context thatthe writer intended !he# to refer to Geoff. &hese sentences could be rewritten as the following:

(i$e taught Geoff how to live on the streets. Geoff needed this to survive.

Avoid !telegraphing# the structure of our essa. "n other words, avoid using phrases li$e !"n this essa,# !(

thesis is,# !( next example,# and so on. &he arrangement of our ideas should follow our argument, and theconnection between our ideas should be argued not assumed.

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7/24/2019 What to Avoid and What to Do

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Integrating Text (Proper Quotation Techniques

)hen wor$ing with someone elses words, often it is necessar to directl 2uote those words 3place in 2uotationmar$s4. &here are good and bad was to do this. ver effort should be made to integrate the 2uoted text into ourown sentences. 5ometimes, ou will even need to ma$e slight changes in the 2uoted text to ma$e it match thegrammar of our own writing. 5hown below is an example of non6integrated text, ade2uatel integrated text andwell6integrated text:

Bad Adequate (barely) Good

!7 8//9, some schools housednearl twice the number of studentsthe had been designed to teach.#&his shows that schools in 'osAngeles were ver crowded.

According to Gottlieb, !7 8//9,some schools housed nearl twicethe number of students the had

been designed to teach# 39914. &hisshows that schools in 'os Angeleswere overcrowded and not gettingan better.

According to Gottlieb, !7 8//9,some schools housed nearl twicethe number of students the had

been designed to teach# 39914,suggesting that despite promises tofix the problem overcrowding hadactuall increased rather thandecreased.

"n addition, ou should avoid using long 2uotations. +se the appropriate !bits# and !pieces# to ma$e our point.emember, that ou determine the text ou feel ou need to 2uote.

What to Do

%lease familiari;e ourself with !5ome evelop our ideas 3see the handout on development4. 7e specific.

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