what they didn’t tell you about teaching
TRANSCRIPT
What they didn’t tell you
Except you still marking
You suddenly find yourself saying
“I can’t not on a school night”
“Friends become distant acquaintances
That you catch up with Christmas and Birthdays
You find yourself telling people the same thing in three different ways
When it’s the end of term
When it’s the
end of term
You won’t be doing this
You will be doing this
Or this
Teaching is like being a comedian
Your audience expects to be entertained
So expect heckling at every opportunity
Punters to talk over
you
Continual trips to the loo
The aroma of stale B.O.
Rustling of stashed
crisp packets
And if you are really nervous
They CAN smell your fear
And will turn into this
You must always be positive
Even when you want to
do this
When you go shopping
Spotting you will be
the highlight of their day
Except they don’t want
your autograph
They are just amazed you are actually a real person
If you are really hated or loved it will like having your own paparazzi
With your shopping trip documented on You Tube
So drive 40 miles away if you want any of these
Or these
And you will need to find alternatives to swear words
Fudge it!
Shoot
Oh Billiards
And learn a whole new version of the English language
You gypsy Chav
That’s so gay
Minger
But there are positives!
You get to watch interesting student debates
Attend inspiring meetings
Enjoy the thrill of not being listened too all day
Being spoken to like a piece of …
Endure teenage hormones that even parents don’t want to put up with
Have your performance constantly measured
But the ultimate in pleasure has to be . .
Just when you get teaching
sussed out
You get a new
Government initiative
That was ditched 15 years ago for what reason?
So why teach?
For love?
For respect?
For money?
The excellent pension?
NO ?
Well there is a credit crunch!
And finally what do you call a group
of like minded
teachers?
A whinge!
