What NOT to Do What NOT to Do When Your Husband When Your Husband

CheatsCheats

By Lisa PennBy Lisa Penn

http://How-to-Save-Marriage.orghttp://How-to-Save-Marriage.org

You world is You world is crumbling down crumbling down under your feetunder your feet. . You You have recently found have recently found out that your out that your husband is cheating, husband is cheating, or has cheated in or has cheated in the past and now the past and now you are this nonyou are this non--functioning mess of functioning mess of rage, shock, rage, shock, sadness, low self sadness, low self esteem and despair.esteem and despair.

If that’s not enough, If that’s not enough, when your husband when your husband cheats – cheats –  It makes you feel lonelier than  It makes you feel lonelier than you have ever felt before.you have ever felt before.

Your instinct tells you to run and tell Your instinct tells you to run and tell someone. Anyone.someone. Anyone.

You want to tell your best friend, a close family You want to tell your best friend, a close family member, or at least get some revenge and post member, or at least get some revenge and post his name and picture on Cheatersville so that his name and picture on Cheatersville so that everyone knows his lying and cheating wayseveryone knows his lying and cheating ways..

If you don’t confide in someone, you may explode If you don’t confide in someone, you may explode from the internal pressure and strife. Right?from the internal pressure and strife. Right?

I urge to wait a minute and think twice.I urge to wait a minute and think twice.

Confiding the details of your Confiding the details of your husband’s affair to friends husband’s affair to friends and family can be and family can be DANGEROUS and destroy any DANGEROUS and destroy any chance of saving your chance of saving your marriagemarriage. .

The Danger of Confiding The Danger of Confiding Your Husband’s CheatingYour Husband’s Cheating

Having someone to Having someone to support you going support you going through this awful through this awful crisis is very crisis is very importantimportant. . What What could be possible could be possible wrong with pouring wrong with pouring out your hurt, anger out your hurt, anger and disappointment and disappointment to other people in to other people in your life? your life?

I will tell you what’s wrongI will tell you what’s wrong: :

It will make things It will make things worseworse..

That’s right, read it again if you want – That’s right, read it again if you want – It WILL make things worseIt WILL make things worse. . And And

These are The ReasonsThese are The Reasons: :

1. Bad Advice1. Bad Advice

You are at a very vulnerable place right nowYou are at a very vulnerable place right now. . You You may think that everyone is thinking more clearly than may think that everyone is thinking more clearly than you and know better than you what to do right nowyou and know better than you what to do right now..

In a real effort to help you, your confidant will In a real effort to help you, your confidant will attempt to give you advice about what to do right attempt to give you advice about what to do right now. For example, I can almost guarantee that he or now. For example, I can almost guarantee that he or she will immediately advise you to end your marriage she will immediately advise you to end your marriage because “Once a cheater always a cheater”.because “Once a cheater always a cheater”.

It won’t take long for you to discover that just about It won’t take long for you to discover that just about everyone has an opinion, which is generally based on everyone has an opinion, which is generally based on what they themselves would do—in a perfect worldwhat they themselves would do—in a perfect world

Besides the fact that this “Once a cheater” cliche is Besides the fact that this “Once a cheater” cliche is total BS, the problem with this type of advice is that total BS, the problem with this type of advice is that they they don’t really know much about your marriagedon’t really know much about your marriage. . They don’t know about the process that led to this They don’t know about the process that led to this crisis, they don’t know how if feels and they don’t crisis, they don’t know how if feels and they don’t know how much you want to protect your family from know how much you want to protect your family from destruction.destruction.

2. Future Resentment2. Future Resentment What if you CAN save What if you CAN save

your marriage? What if your marriage? What if your husband and you your husband and you can heal your can heal your marriage, make it marriage, make it better than ever and better than ever and prevent this from ever prevent this from ever happening again? happening again?

If your husband finds If your husband finds he will be hated where he will be hated where ever he sees your ever he sees your family and friends, family and friends, your chances of saving your chances of saving your marriage will be your marriage will be reduced dramatically.reduced dramatically.

No matter what anyone says, in many No matter what anyone says, in many cases a marriage can survive an cases a marriage can survive an affairaffair. . But if you reveal his cheating to But if you reveal his cheating to your best friend, for example, she will your best friend, for example, she will probably hate him forever, right? probably hate him forever, right? Meanwhile your marriage is restored, Meanwhile your marriage is restored, but your best friend may not want to but your best friend may not want to come to your house ever againcome to your house ever again..

It’s important to think about It’s important to think about irreversible outcomesirreversible outcomes when confiding when confiding in someone that is a part of your daily in someone that is a part of your daily life.life.

3. 3. Hurting Your ChildrenHurting Your Children

If you want to save your marriage and If you want to save your marriage and if you care about your children, they if you care about your children, they must never find out about thismust never find out about this. . You You will forgive him with time, whether will forgive him with time, whether you stay together or notyou stay together or not. . But your But your kids will never forgive himkids will never forgive him. . Do you Do you want that for your children? A father want that for your children? A father they will resent for life?they will resent for life? If you confide If you confide with someone your kids know – He or with someone your kids know – He or she may blurb it out accidentally one she may blurb it out accidentally one day. Take that into consideration too day. Take that into consideration too

How to Choose Your How to Choose Your Confidants WiselyConfidants Wisely

Sharing your marital problems, your hurt emotions Sharing your marital problems, your hurt emotions and uncontrolled anger with your friends and and uncontrolled anger with your friends and familyfamily is a bad idea is a bad idea. If you feel you have to do that, . If you feel you have to do that, at least ask them, before you start sharing, to just at least ask them, before you start sharing, to just listen to you and help you find a positive way to listen to you and help you find a positive way to deal with these negative emotions. Tell them that deal with these negative emotions. Tell them that “as for advice on what to do, I am going to work it “as for advice on what to do, I am going to work it out on my own”. out on my own”.

Another option is to confide with Another option is to confide with other other women that went other other women that went through the same thingthrough the same thing. . There are There are plenty of amazingly supportive  plenty of amazingly supportive  marriage forums onlinemarriage forums online..  It’s a safe   It’s a safe place to vent and learn from other place to vent and learn from other people’s experience, anonymouslypeople’s experience, anonymously..

But the most important thing But the most important thing to do right now…to do right now…

is focusing on healing yourself is focusing on healing yourself ((firstfirst) ) and your marriageand your marriage. . There There are are important steps you have to takeimportant steps you have to take if you want to have a chance of if you want to have a chance of saving your marriage after an saving your marriage after an affair.affair.

And you have to start – Right And you have to start – Right Now. (Only if you want a Now. (Only if you want a chance to save your marriage)chance to save your marriage)

Click Here Click Here to find a very good to find a very good place to start – Right Now!place to start – Right Now!