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What am I missing?

If anyone was to ask what do I believe in? Who do I believe in? I would quickly

respond, God. Why, because thats my natural answer & almost half the worlds

natural answer. My upbringing was in that environment, I was raised around people

who had strong beliefs & understandings with and of God. I never disagreed withtheir beliefs because its also what I believed in.

When I was younger, I believe I had a stronger belief in God. I opened myself up to

him and allowed him to use me in whatsoever way he pleased. As I began to grow

and ventured out into the world my mind became distracted and open, being filled

with various other things prior to what I knew. Never did I explore but I did,

however, given myself options to what may or may not be the truth.

I believe Gods power runs predominantly overall; reason being is simply because

without him, our existence could not occur, but whos to say my belief is correct or

has any truth in it. No one, because no one knows whats beyond the mortal world;no one can explore the spirtual world.

As a young teen, I always had disbelief in compromising with God. In my opinion,

compromising with God, only results in an unbalanced receival of blessings God

hands out daily. For example, a man is in dyier need of a job but unable to get the

job because he lacks qualifications needed. Upset and disappointed the man prays

to God asking to give for a take, saying he would promise to stop doing this or

that in return he would receive the job. Days after, the mans prayer was answered

but forgets all about the promise made to God; leaving the other end of the rope

undone. I believe that God does see through a white lie & he does know what the

future holds but he gives you the option to choose the path to take & how to use hispowers for your will being, in return for praise.

We have all heard or read Matthew 17:20, And Jesus said unto them, Because of

your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed,

ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall

remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. Ive come to the understanding

that everyones faith varies. We all have our different views on life & religion.

My views sometimes confuse the people I love, causing them to wonder if I have

faith at all. I do have faith; it may not be as much as the one you possess but its

enough to obtain mercy from God. God sees something in me no man canunderstand and so He chooses to deal with me differently. For every thought that

flows thru my head, God has already proccesed it out in His, making paths &

opening doors.

I find it hard to step out of Gods way for him to fight battles, not because I rather

fight them on my own but because I dont know when the right time is to do so.

What has always confused me throughout my life is the saying let go and let God.

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As a mortal, I make myself avaiable for God to work with and thru me. If a man does

not start of the job God can not finish it because it trails an trublations are made for

you to go thru, so determining when my work is done & to let God handle the rest is

a challenge.

I am only human and yes we do know right from wrong and have been taught theways of life thru Christ but only God can see a pure heart which truly desires Him. I

hope one day, I will better understand my spiritually yearning for God and be able

to open my soul freely to Him. Each man stands alone with God; we have to know

Him for ourselves. So what am I missing? Why do I still feel empty?