week in review aug. 10-16, 2014

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Women’s Intercultural Center Aug.. 10-16, 2014

What will your legacy be? Unseen Beauty: Recycling & Repurposing Response to Robin William’s death New school focuses on health & science 4 ways to help women self-promote State Line Service (Girls Scout) meeting Public Notices What others say about us Dates to remember

Plus

La Clinica de Familia

Health Fair

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A place where WOMEN learn and work together to develop their SOCIAL, SPIRITUAL, ECONOMIC, and POLITICAL POTENTIAL.

Letter From the E.D. Each person leaves a legacy—a single, small piece of herself, which makes richer each individual life and the collective life of humanity

as a whole. - John Nichols When Carter passed in December, I realized that when people die, their eulogies celebrate life very differently from the way we define success in our everyday existence. Eulogies redefine success beyond money and power to include well-being, wisdom and our ability to wonder and to give a key editorial focus. It's easy to let ourselves get consumed by our work. It's easy to use work to let ourselves forget the things and the people that truly sustain us. It's easy to let technology wrap us in a perpetually harried, stressed-out existence. It's easy to miss our lives even while we're living them. Until we no longer live them. Our eulogy will be the only mark down of what our lives were about. The eulogy is the foundational document of our legacy, of how people remember us, of how we live on in the minds and hearts of others. And it is very telling what you don't hear in eulogies. You almost never hear things like: "Of course his crowning achievement was when he became Director of Marketing." Or: "What everybody loved most about her was how she worked through lunch. Everyday." Or: "She was proud that she always forgot her anniversary because she always put work first before her husband." Or: "He didn't have any real friends, but

he had 600 Facebook friends, and he responded to every email.” Or: "But she will live on, not in our hearts or memories, because we barely knew her, but in her PowerPoint slides, which were always perfect." No matter how much a person spends his or her life burning the candle at both ends, chasing a toxic definition of success and generally missing out on life, the eulogy is always about the other stuff: what they gave, how they connected, how much they meant to the lives of the real people around them, small kindnesses, lifelong passions and what made them laugh. So the question is: “Why do we spend so much time on what our eulogy is not going to be?” "Eulogies aren't résumés," David Brooks wrote in June. "They describe the person's care, wisdom, truthfulness and courage. They describe the million little moral judgments that emanate from that inner region." And yet we spend so much time and effort and energy on those résumé entries, which are gone as soon as we die. Even for those who die with amazing résumés, whose lives were synonymous with accomplishment and achievement, their eulogies are mostly about what they did when they weren't achieving and succeeding at least by our current, broken definition of success. For example, I looked at Carter’s eulogy, most people that didn’t know him thought that he was about making and spending money, but when our eldest son, Saif, rose to memorialize him at his memorial service at the Women’s Intercultural Center, that’s not what he focused on. He said, “My dad was my superman. His character is the foundation of my conscience. He was an exceptional man that was always there for me when I needed him and always gave me the opportunity to shape my life the way I saw fit without question.

It is hard to believe that he passed away so young, at times I still have a hard time believing that he is gone. His legacy lives through my brother and I and I hope to make him proud. I hope to have the charisma and charm he had with people. I hope to make an individual’s day brighter like he did when he spoke to people. I hope to be an amazing dad like he was to me. I hope to love someone as much as he did. I remember him telling my mom once that he never loved a woman as much as he loved her. He said marrying her was the best thing that ever happened to him. My dad was an exceptional man and he will never be forgotten.” Our son made sure in his eulogy that people knew that his Dad was a husband and a father who knew the true value of family and love. No matter who you are, in the minds of the people you care about most will be the memories you built in their lives. In her 1951 novel Memoirs of Hadrian, Marguerite Yourcenar has the Roman emperor meditating on his death: "[I]t seems to me as I write this hardly important to have been emperor." And Thomas Jefferson's epitaph describes him as "author of the Declaration of American Independence and father of the University of Virginia." No mention of the presidency. The old adage that says we should live every day as our last means that we shouldn't wait until it's our last day on Earth to begin prioritizing the things that really matter. Anyone with a cell phone and a full email inbox knows that it's easy to live while not being aware we're living. We need to live in a way that's mindful of what our eulogy will one day be. Every day we actually add to our eulogy. The question is how much we're giving the eulogizer to work with.

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Just months before the historian Tony Judt died of ALS in 2010, he gave an amazing interview to Terry Gross on NPR's Fresh Air. She asked him about his spiritual beliefs. He replied: “I don't believe in an afterlife. I don't believe in a single or multiple god head. I respect people who do, but I don't believe it myself. But there's a big "but" which enters in here: I am much more conscious than I ever was, for obvious reasons, of what it will mean to people left behind once I'm dead. It won't mean anything for me, but it will mean a lot to them, and it's important for them, by which I mean my children or my wife or my close friends, that some spirit of me is, in a positive way, present in their lives, in their heads, in their imaginings and so on. So in one curious way I've come to believe in the afterlife as a place where I still have moral responsibilities, just as I do in this life except that I can only exercise them before I get there. Once I get there, it'll be too late. So no god, no organized religion, but a developing sense that there's something bigger than the world we live in, including after we die, and that we have responsibilities in that world”. So whether you believe in an afterlife, as I do, or not, by being fully present in your life and in the lives of those you love, you are creating your own afterlife and writing your own eulogy. It's a valuable lesson, even more so while we have the good fortune of being healthy and having the energy and freedom and lack of impediments to create a life of purpose and meaning. It shouldn't take a near-death experience to remind us of what we're all going to lose one day. According to Colors magazine, something called "living funeral therapy" is becoming increasingly popular in South Korea, which has the highest suicide rate of developed countries. It can involve actually getting in a coffin and having it nailed shut, to experience a glimpse of the finality and closure of death. One operator sometimes has the participants

make a list of the people in their lives who matter to them. One woman said the process made her realize she'd been neglecting her husband. "I feel like I've been reborn," she said. "I want to call my husband, to tell him 'thank you,' and 'sorry.'" It's an extreme method, and hopefully most of us won't need to be nailed shut

inside a coffin to get a sense of what we really value. But the good news is that if you're reading this, there's still time to live up to the best version of your eulogy.

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Fair participant is happy to have learned about WInC and with the book she received as a gift from us.

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La Clinica de Familia in Anthony, NM hosted a Health Fair during National Health Center Week. The event took place at 855 Anthony Dr. on August 12th from 10 am to 2 pm. Basic health screenings, free immunization, blood pressure and glucose checks, as well as a variety of informational booths, food, raffles, prizes were provided by over 22 agencies that included the Women’s Intercultural Center (WInC). The final count for the health fair attendees was 232 community members. WInC staff and volunteers enjoyed visiting with current/former participants and introducing new people to the organization and building new partnerships.

Blanca Garcia, WInC Zumba Instructor, gave a class.

Magali Almaraz, WInC staffer, relaxes after setting up our booth.

Mary Carter, WInC Executive Director, comes in to help.

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Portrait made out of fabric scrap and a book.

Gift bag made out of old photos. Gift bag made out of an old newspaper and ribbon.

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Blast from the past: Nancy Green concert for WInC participants.

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We all desperately want to be happy. And like Will Smith portrayed in a movie, happiness isn't guaranteed. We have to pursue it. And at the Women’s Intercultural Center (WInC) we’d like to live in a world where happiness is as easy as buying a soda in a vending machine, but it's more difficult than that. Unlike a math test, there's no right answer when it comes to depression. But our participants know what it feels like.

It’s more than just not being happy. It's like you can't bring yourself to be happy. You look at the things that you once really loved and enjoyed, and you just can't find enjoyment in them anymore. Sometimes you can't eat, sometimes you can't sleep, and sometimes you can't even move. And then your friends get mad at you because you don't go out as often or you don't want to respond to phone calls. You just can't hold a conversation and suddenly, you're the problem, you're the downer. You really want to go out and have fun, but your body just doesn't allow you to as if something

inside you is just forcing you to be down like that's the normal thing to do, and everybody else just doesn't get it. And it's not that you ignore your family because you don’t love them or other people because you don't like them. It's just that you don't want to go through the same conversation over and over again.

'Want to go out?' No, I'm not feeling that well. 'Why? What's wrong? What can I do to help?' And that's the problem - you don't even know what you want. You don't even know what's going to make you feel better. You just feel trapped. And then what doesn't help is the people trying to tell you how to feel or what to feel or give you solutions that you know aren't going to work. And they get frustrated because they want to help you but they can't. And the words that made you feel this way, the words that make you hate the person that you are just get louder. And all within a matter of moments, it feels like you're drowning. And outside there's just so much light and everything is so bright and you

just wish that somebody could just dim the lights, please. You try to ask yourself what happened between now and then, but sometimes there is no explanation.

You can have everything you want in the world and still feel like you have nothing. Depression is indiscriminate. It doesn't matter how much or how little you have in your life. It can find you. And now, it seems Robin Williams committed suicide due to depression. Nobody really knows for sure if he actually took his own life or that the cause was depression. All it proves is that one of the funniest men in the world could not defeat the monster that is depression. It's not a joke. But the only reason we know how this feels is because we’ve been there with our participants. Overcoming depression was one of the primary reasons WInC was founded. In the last couple of years we’ve expanded our educational components on mental health to help our participants identify depression in their family and friends and to actually learn how to help them. Asking a family member or friend what they need and when he/she doesn’t know can be an angering feeling to the individual trying to help. And yeah, they get frustrated because they can’t help the person they care about. And then when they figure it out, it’s too late. Irma participated in our Mental Health Promotora program. She bravely shared how she was literally dragged to the Center by one of her close friends. And how coming here and participating with her peers helped her get through her depression. She shared how it impacted her ability to care for herself, her family and her ability to realize that her daughter was getting bullied. It is through the WInC peer support network and the program that she was able to overcome it.

Response To Robin Williams' Death

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New school focuses on health sciences The first day of school for more than 150 students in southern New Mexico was fraught with nerves, questions about class schedules, hurried good-byes to parents – and lots of talk about health.

The new Health Sciences Academy charter school opened its doors in Santa Teresa, serving students in grades seven to 12, with an eye on integrating health topics into core curriculum and preparing students for careers in health occupations.

The school is getting off the ground following news that New Mexico State University will host a private College of Osteopathic Medicine on its campus in 2016.

The school is designed to attract students into health careers amidst a longstanding, statewide shortage of health care workers that is poised to widen as Baby Boomers age and the Affordable Care Act broadens Medicaid coverage to an estimated one-third of New Mexicans. The state ranks 31st in its physician-population ratio, according to the Association of American Medical Colleges.

Students at the Health Sciences Academy

started classes to the scraping sounds of remodeling still going on in half the building and with a grand opening ceremony that was attended by Congressman Steve Pearce, NM State Representative Doreen Gallegos, Sunland Park Mayor Peralta and many others.

Laura Padilla brought her daughter Eddena to her first day of seventh grade at the Health Sciences Academy. Padilla said she enrolled her because of “the great opportunities she is going to have.”

“She wants to be a veterinarian,” Padilla said. “I think it’s a good start.”

Several parents – many arriving in scrubs before they headed to health care jobs – said they liked the idea of the charter school’s smaller class sizes and career-focused curriculum.

The Health Sciences Academy, was founded by Albuquerque residents – Raphael Nevins, Lorna Samraj and Nancy Duhigg, Southern NM resident Carmen Burciaga and the Women’s Intercultural Center Director Mary Carter with the support of the participants of the Women’s Intercultural Center. The school draws students largely from southern Doña Ana County.

Counselor Dorise Lamoreaux helps a group of students find their classrooms on the first day of school at the new Health Sci-ences Academy charter school in Santa Teresa on Monday.

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Four Ways To Help Emerging Women Self-Promote

When Mary Carter, Executive Director of the Women’s Intercultural Center, first came first came to the Center, one of her peers told her she should be less self-promotional.

She was disturbed by this comment. Why would a woman criticize another woman for taking ownership of an important win she accomplished? Why would she be criticized for her unapologetic use of personal power? Having worked in male dominated environments Mary didn’t understand why some of her peers rejected her for not following the female template of humility and modesty.

Study after study concludes that women hesitate to self-promote even though doing so is a critical path to leadership. Why do women hold back? And is anyone really being helped when women silence themselves?

Digital marketing expert Maggie Fox says, “I don’t care how distasteful you find it….Women who want to “change the ratio” but don’t self-promote are letting all of us down.”

The following are four ways we can support other women in self-promoting and start to change the paradigm:

1. Convince her that her performance won’t speak for itself. Speaking about one’s career accomplishments is only one part of articulating career goals and attaining them. Remind female colleagues that their strong performance is like a powerful Maserati, but her ability to self-promote is the gas in the tank. Being conversant in her value is the thing that’s going to move her from A to B.

2. Urge her to publicize wins. When your peer tells you that she got an accolade from a client or saved the company money in operating costs, why not prompt her to share it? Encourage her to put it in the company newsletter or feature it as a Q&A on the Intranet. The best self-promoters showcase their accomplishments as best practices from which everyone can learn.

3. Encourage her to take risks. One critical way women can promote themselves is by raising their hands for

increasingly difficult opportunities. Often, in order to get a plum assignment, we have to demonstrate and discuss why we’re the best person for the job and recount our biggest coups. By nudging her toward a risk you’re showing her that you believe in her abilities to do well.

4. Sponsor her success. If it’s true that a woman’s greatest source of career capital is a powerful sponsor, why not be one? Use your “juice” to promote another woman’s accomplishments. Fight for her candidacy to run a key project, bring her to a high-level meeting she wouldn’t otherwise be privy to, and build awareness of her accomplishments. You can even make a deal with her that you’ll work to promote her, but only if she learns to speak about her value with confidence.

At WInC we promote participants to help them attain success and encourage them to promote other women. In owning their successes they have increased their self-esteem and advanced in the employment areas they have chosen to follow.

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Mental health is just as important as physical health. If you, or someone you know is suffering from depression, there is help out there. For more information visit http://answers.usa.gov/system/templates/selfservice/USAGov/#portal/1012/article/5028/Mental-Health?fromQuery=mental%20%20health

When you feel like you’re spiraling down—or if you’ve got a friend or

family member who does—the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) is there to help you through. .

State Line Service Unit (Girls Scout) meeting

WInC is the place where community organizations meet.

I like doing community service here because every-one is really nice and helpful. Mary and Magali are good at explaining to other people what they do here. the time I was here was very helpful to me because I got to do my community service hours fast and with out any problems, I even learned new things, like being patient and how to talk to be more social . ~Danny, WInC Volunteer

Mental health is just as important as physical health. If you, or someone you know is suffering from depression, there is help out there. For more information visit http://answers.usa.gov/system/templates/selfservice/USAGov/#portal/1012/article/5028/Mental-Health?fromQuery=mental%20%20health

When you feel like you’re spiraling down—or if you’ve got a friend or

family member who does—the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) is there to help you through. .

State Line Service Unit (Girls Scout) meeting

WInC is the place where community organizations meet.

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Interested in teaching a class, scheduling a workshop, presentation or training at WInC? We are always searching for Volunteer Instructors to teach in their areas of expertise. For more info, contact Magali Al-maraz, Program Coordinator at 575-882-5556 or via email at [email protected]

dates to remember For additional information please contact us at 575-882-5556 or the contact number listed next to the event announcement.

August

Save Money, Save Energy Presentation by the El Paso Electric Company in coordination with SoAHEC from 10-11am. The

presentation will provide you tips on how to save energy and money, inform you about company rebates, and address electrical safety for your home. For more info call Magali Almaraz at 575-882-5556.

Aug. 22

September Basic Computer Class by Community Action Agency of Southern NM

(CAASNM) from 9am-12pm. In this course, participants will learn the fundamentals of computers and get hands-on experience with Windows 7. You can register for the class online at www.surveymonkey.com/s/AnthonyWIC or call CAASNM at 575-527-8799 ext. 110 to register for the class.

Sept. 2 & 3

Introduction to the Internet by Community Action Agency of

Southern NM (CAASNM) from 9am-12pm. In this course participants will be given an overview of the Internet and what's available on it. Search engines, Email, and online forms will be covered. To register call CAASNM at 575-527-8799 ext. 110 or register online at www.surveymonkey.com/s/AnthonyWIC.

Sept. 3 & 4

Estate Planning Workshop presented Estrada Law, P.C. from 2-3:30pm. Learn the fundamentals of state planning.

The workshop will cover wills and trusts, asset protection, nursing home issues and Medicaid planning. For more information call Magali Almaraz at 575-882-5556.

Aug. 26

Fall Semester Registration from 8:30am-7pm. New classes for the semester include Healthy Lifestyle, Go Green & Save Green, American Sign Language, Spanish Reading Class, and Basic Sewing. For more info call Magali Almaraz at 575-882-5556. Registration fee is $5.

Aug. 17-Sept. 2

Aug. 2

Selecting a Computer by Community Action Agency

of Southern NM (CAASNM) from 9am-12pm. This course provides the information you need to select a computer and find an appropriate Internet Provider Plan. To register please call CAASNM at 575-527-8799 ext. 110 or online at www.surveymonkey.com/s/AnthonyWIC.

Sept. 9 & 10

How To Take An Online Class by

Community Action Agency of Southern NM (CAASNM) from 9am-12pm. Students take a practice Online Course which will help them gain experience and skills with important online training tools. They will learn how to succeed in an online learning environment and discover where to find information about the many courses offered online. To register call CAASNM at 575-527-8799 ext. 110 or online at www.surveymonkey.com/s/AnthonyWIC.

Sept. 11 & 12

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Women’s Intercultural Center WHERE IT STARTS

303 Lincoln Street / PO Box 2411 Anthony, NM 88021

575-882-5556 Fax: 1-866-285-7245

www.womensinterculturalcenter.org

week in review aug. 10-16, 2014

Documents

real people

individual life

carters eulogy

eulogies arent rsums

collective life of humanity

broken definition of

toxic definition of

real friends