VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY

HANOI UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUDIES

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Inter-cultural communication

ASSIGNMENT

TOPIC:

INFLUENCES OF AGE AND STATUS ON ANGLICIST AND VIETNAMESE PEOPLE’S WAYS OF REFUSING A

REQUEST

Group 1 – Class e20

Hoàng Thị Diệp

Bùi Nguyễn Trà My

Phạm Thị Nhàn

Đặng Hà Phương

Hanoi, Friday October 28th , 2011

TABLE OF CONTENT

Part Page

I. Introduction

II. Theoretical back ground

1. Speech act

2. Request

3. Refusal

4. Refusing a request

III. Strategies used in refusing a request

1. Flat refusals

2. Expressing doubt

3. Negating the presupposition of the request

4. Asking for reciprocity

5. Asserting condition

6. Back-request

7. Offering excuse

8. Self-abasement

9. Showing concern to hearer

10. Passing the ball to other(s)

11. Offering medium help

12. Delay

13. Paying lip-service

14. Token acceptance

15. Borderline refusals

IV. Analysis samples

1. Introducing the survey and research methodology

2. Influences of age and status on the informants’ use of refusing strategies

3 Similarities and differences of Anglicist and Vietnamese

4 Some common structures/ expressions in Vietnamese and in English.

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V. Conclusion

VI. Appendixes

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I. Introduction

In order to improve communicating and avoid cultural misunderstanding when refusing a request we did this inter-cultural assignment. We chose the topic is that Influences of age and status on the informants’ use of refusing strategies. From those things we can distinguish refusal ways between Anglicist and Vietnamese and draw out some common structures in the real life.

II. Theoretical background

1. Speech act

In order to accomplish some purpose in communication, people do not just talk but they are assumed to perform some action with talk.

John Austin, a British philosopher, was the first to draw attention to many functions performed by utterances as part of interpersonal communication. In his book “How to do things with words” (1962) he has put forward the notion of “speech act”. His theory was further developed and presented more systematically by other philosophers of language, John Searler. There is close link between speech acts and language functions.

“Speech act may be formulated as an action performed by the use of an utterance to communicate”. In other words, utterance not only contains a message but have a social force in them.

Speech act is a unit of speaking and performs different function in communication. Austin believes that a single speech act actually contains three separate but related acts locutionary act, illocutionary act and perlocutionary act and he introduces a threefold distinction among speech acts. Locutionary act is an act of saying something with a sense and reference. Illocutionary act is the function of utterance that the speaker has in mind, the communicative purposes such as promise, inform, question, etc... perlocutionary act refers to the hearer’s recognition of the illocutionary like feeling annoyed, being persuaded, etc…

2. Request

In everyday relationship with people, we often find ourselves in situation where we need to ask someone for something. It is noticeable under the form of questions but some requests are naturally in form of commands or also in form of simple declarative statement that express a desire or wish.

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3. Refusal

Refusal is a communicative act or more specifically a responding act because it is indeed produced in reply to an initiating speech act.

According to Wierzbicka (1987:94), “refusing means, essentially, saying ‘no, I will not do it’ in response to someone else’s utterance, in which he has conveyed to us that he wants us to do something and that he expect us to do it.” You have the need to express a negation of the request. Hence, Verschueren (1985 in Wierzbicka 1987:96) claims: “refusing is negative response to directives (e.g. request)”.

4. Refusing a request

Refusing a request is always associated with requesting. While request are pre-event acts, refusals are post-event acts. Requests are initiations and refusals are negative responses. Negative responses to request do not fulfill the illocutionary intent of the request and the outcome of the interaction is such that addressee or the speaker or both are under no obligation to carry out a certain action.

In everyday life, refusing takes place too frequently but it is sometimes not easy to be performed, refusing a request can be regarded as rude acts or face threatening acts. Refusals undermine the face of an interlocutor because they run contrary to the wishes of the hearer. Turning down a request demands some form of empathy.

Our study focuses on refusing a request across Vietnamese and Anglicist languages and cultures.

III. Strategies used in refusing a request

According to Phan Thi Van Quyen, there are fifteen refusing strategies

1. Flat refusals:

A flat refusal is one, which gives the requestor almost no further chance to insist. It is generally considered to be a high face-threatening act and thus, is difficult to be performed by the speaker.

They can be:

- polite language (usually preceded by an apology):

+ Sorry, I’d rather you didn’t

+ (I hope you don’t mind, but) I’d rather not.

+ Thật tiếc quá nhưng cháu không thể cho bác mượn xe được

- common language (usually preceded by an apology):

+ I’m sorry, I can’t

- off record:

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+ Don’t you have legs?

+ Mày mơ à?

- on record:

+ No, I really can’t. I simply don’t give time to questionnaires.

+ Tôi không thích làm việc này

- colloquial language:

+ No way

+ Chịu thôi

- rude or even insulting language:

+ No, piss off

+ Come off it

2. Expressing doubt

The speaker want to imply that the speaker refuses the request just because it is not something important, necessary or appropriate to do, not because they are unhelpful. Negative exclamations are also made.

Eg:

- You must be joking. Why should I do it?

- Có nhất định phải làm không ạ?

- Vớ vẩn, khi nào thật cần hãy gọi cho tôi.

3. Negating the presupposition of the request

The requestor assumes the fact that the requestee can do the thing for them, or has the thing they want to borrow.

Eg:

- Sympathize with me! It is my uncle’s motorbike.

- Xe của tớ bán rồi!

4. Asking for reciprocity

According to Brown and Levinson, “by pointing to the recipient right of doing doing Face Threatening Acts to each other, the speaker may soften his face- threatening acts by negating the debt aspect and/or the face-threatening aspect of speech acts. Be more open when asking for reciprocity in English, but less favored in Vietnamese. According to Esther Wanning’s remark in his book “Culture shock! America” (1991:140): “We ourselves do not wish to be indebted to anybody else.”

Eg:

- Get out of it. Would you let me use yours? I don’t think so.

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- Mình mà ngồi làm bản điều tra này cho cậu thì tí nữa cậu phải đèo mình vào trường nhé.

5. Asserting condition

In order to refuse to do something undesirable, people sometimes give conditions for their acceptance. Whether they do it or not depends on the requestor’s accomplishment of the condition for acceptance. The speaker knows the requestor is unable to meet the condition and will ask others people for help.

Eg:

- If you have driving license.

- By law, riders must ride their own motorbike.

6. Back-request

Be more employed in Vietnamese than English is. This strategy is tentative only and may be accompanied by an excuse for refusing or deference to hearer to minimize the imposition on hearer.

Eg:

- Oh, come on. You can do it yourself, can’t you?

- Điền luôn hộ anh đi. Chú hiểu anh quá rồi mà.

7. Offering excuse

This strategy is the most commonly used in both English and Vietnamese. Vietnamese give a series of reasons at a time to appeal for understanding and sympathy. Various excuses relates to the some common reasons such as business, illness, obligation…

Eg:

- Sorry, I have a terrible headache today.

- I’m sorry, but I have already got a heaps pf work/ amillion things/ tons of things to do.

- Bác xem đấy cháu bận tối mắt tối mũi.

8. Self-abasement

Interlocutors who are not willing to comply the request often resort to declaration of this strategy. It means humbling and abase one’s self, one’s capacities and possessions or raise the other’s self, capacities and possessions. Requestee tell white lies to prove her/him is not qualified enough to meet the demand. It can resuce the degree of face threatening so this strategy is a face-giving act, a negative politeness strategy and maxim of modesty. Vietnam culture tends to go to greater lengths and more popular than Anglicist cultures.

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Eg:

- I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get it done.

- No, I’m not really good at this sort of thing.

- Em có biết gì đâu mà điền.

9. Showing concern to hearer

Implying that speaker is willing to cooperate but he has to refuse for the benefit of hearer.

Eg:

- You are not old enough to drive so … No!

- Xe tớ đang hỏng, tớ sợ cậu đi lại mang họa.

10. Passing the ball to other(s)

The request is passed to another person who is implied by the requestee to be more relevant to the request. This strategy help to save face of both the requester and requestee as it gives them a way out and frees them from indebtedness to the other.

Eg:

- Perhaps, Angela could do the survey for you.

- Get Mom to do it for you. I’m busy.

- Sao bác không nhờ chị Lan. Chị ấy tiện đường hơn cháu.

11.Offering medium help

To redress the potential threat of an Face- threatening act like refusing; requestee may try to demonstrate his good intentions to satisfy requester’s positive face wants:

+ What requester wants?

+ What requestee wants?

+ What requestee will help to obtain?

Stress requestee’s cooperation with requester in another way.

Eg:

- I am sorry I cannot, but I will give it to someone who can.

- You can’t take my car but I’ll drive you to where you want to go.

- Để tớ nhờ người khác hộ cậu cho.

12.Delay

In order to be socially regarded as being nice, people may avoid refusing a request outright. Requestee give the requester the hope that the complied by then. This strategy do not challenge any of the request’s pragmatic presuppositions and it implies

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that speaker is not refusing but postponing the decision-making. It uses definite time such as: tomorrow, in an hour or so, this evening…

E.g.:

- Maybe I can go in an hour or so.

- I really can’t today. How about tomorrow?

- Bây giờ tớ đang làm việc để tối về tớ làm cho.

13.Paying lip-service

In paying lip-service, the time is indefinite, for example: sometime, some other time, next time, later…

This way sounds polite and helpful but vague and the act is most unlikely to be performed. It does not challenge any of the request’s pragmatic presuppositions. And implies that speaker is not refusing but postponing the decision-making. The requestee expresses willingness/wish to help and regret that they cannot help for some obligation.

E.g.

- I would if I had time. Thanks for asking.

- I’m really busy now. Come back sometimes soon.

- Khi nào rảnh, em điền giúp cho.

14. Token acceptance

It comes from the desire to accept or appear to accept the request. The requestee commits himeself to the compliance to a request but not do it.

E.g.:

- I will see what I can do.

- Nice try.

15. Borderline refusals

It can be described as reluctant acceptances which still give room for refusals. We can divide into 2 ways:

+ Acceptance with reluctance/hesitation

Eg:

- I am using it but you can borrow my car if you need it right now.

+ Acceptance with warning

Eg:

- I trust you but if something happened it would be terrible

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- Xe mình dạo này hay trục trặc lắm đấy, nhưng nếu cần bạn lấy mà đi cũng được.

IV. Data analysis

1. Introducing the survey and research methodology

We collected verbal utterances from 16 Vietnamese informants and 16 Anglicist informants. We have a survey with five following situations. These situations aim to find down the variation in ways of refusing a request basing based on age and status. So in some situations, the requesters and requestee are in different age and status levels.

Our surveys come from 16 Anglicist informants and 16 Vietnamese informants, we collected 160 utterances. However, not everyone feel it comfortable when refusing a request, they also fill in our survey the positive responses for some situations.

2. Influences of age and status on the informants’ use of refusing strategies

A colleague asks if you could help her/him a project. You do not want to help him. What will you say to refuse his request?

- In this situation, the requester is at the same level of status as the requestee. For this situation, 2/16 Anglicist refuses by direct refusals (negatives expression without “no” directly) compare to 14/16 use offering excuse complex (which mix with some other refusing strategies). For Vietnamese, all the refusals is offering excuse complex and in those refusal, there is one combination between offering excuse and passing ball to other.

You are working with heavy workload documents. Your son comes to ask you if you could help him solve a difficult Math exercise. You cannot stop working to help him. How do you refuse?

- In this situation, the requester is at lower level of age and status than the requestee.

Delay strategy is used frequently in this situation for both Anglicist and Vietnamese. Apart from that, there are 5/16 Anglicist refuse by direct refusals but still do not put the word “no” in the refusals. The same number for Vietnamese but in passing the ball to other strategies.

You have just bought a new car and your friend asks you if you could lend him your car because he wants to drive his girlfriend to the countryside at weekend. Actually, you do not want to do that. What will you tell him?

- In this situation, the requester is at the same level of age and status as the requestee. 10/16 Anglicist offer excuse complex. 1/16 Anglicist and 1/16 Vietnames refuse with

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flat refusal “No”/ direct refusal. And the major part of Vietnamese answers is offering excuse because they have to use their car for private purposes.

Your boss wants you to go with him to have dinner with partners. You do not want to go. What will you reply?

- In this situation, the requester is at higher level of age and status as the requestee. For Anglicist, there are two informants do not want to refuse, they think that is your job, you can not refuse your boss so the remain is 14/16 and both of 14 answer is offering excuse, mostly because of another appointment. For Vietnamese, almost the answer is offering excuse because of their bad health and some passing ball to others. There is one answer talk about her limited ability and it is classified as self-abasement strategies.

Your mother asks you to go shopping with her, but you want to stay at home. What do you tell her?

- In this situation, the requester is at higher level of age and status as the requestee.

Amazingly, all the answer come from Anglicist and Vietnamese informants is offering excuse and delay.

3. Similarities and differences between Anglicist and Vietnamese people in refusing a request

Chart 1: Occurence of refusing strategies in all situations of Vietnamese

15%0%

4%

0%

0%

45%

3%

3%

1%

9%

0%

10%

6%

0%

4% Flat

Expressing doubt

Negating the presupposition of therequestAsking for reciprocity

Asserting condition

Offering excuse

Back-request

Self-abasement

Showing concern to hearer

Passing the ball to other(s)

Offering medium help

Delay

Paying lip-service

Token acceptance

Borderline refusals

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Vietnamese prefer using four following refusing strategies most:

+ Offering an excuse

- “Mình rất tiếc không giúp được. Đợt này mình cũng đang bận.”

- “Anh/ chị ơi, tiếc quá! Hôm nay em phải hoàn thành một báo cáo quan trọng.”

+ Flat refusals:

- “Tớ rất tiếc không cho bạn mượn được”

- “Con không đi cùng mẹ hôm nay được đâu.”

- “Tớ không thể giúp cậu được.”

+ Passing ball to other

- “Anh cử người khác giúp em nhé.”

- Bố đang bận quá! Con nhờ chị giải cho.

- Chị B làm tốt hơn em.

+ Delay

- “Tuần sau mình cho bạn mượn nhé”

- “Bố đang phải làm việc. Con thử suy nghĩ tiếp theo các hướng khác xem rồi sau đó bố con mình cùng giài quyết nhé!”

- “Hôm nay con hơi mệt mẹ ạ. Mai con đèo mẹ đi nhé !”

Chart 2: Occurence of refusing stragies in all situations of Anglicist

29%

4%

1%

0%

0%25%

5%4%

0%

7%

1%

12%

12%

0%

0%

Flat

Expressing doubt

Negating the presupposition of therequestAsking for reciprocity

Asserting condition

Offering excuse

Back-request

Self-abasement

Showing concern to hearer

Passing the ball to other(s)

Offering medium help

Delay

Paying lip-service

Token acceptance

Borderline refusals

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Anglicist prefer using four following refusing strategies most:

+ Flat

- “I’m really sorry I can’t”

- “Sorry but I can’t help you”

- “I’m sorry I don’t have time to help you”

- “No. I do not want to”

+ Offering an excuse

- “I’m really sorry but I already have plan tonight. It my husband’s mother birthday party which I have to attend.”

- “I’m sorry but I don’t feel very well today”

- “Sorry. I cannot make it. I have to go to visit my cousin”

+ Delay

- “In two minutes, in two minutes”

- “Can we do it tomorrow please. Today is not good for shopping because of weather…”

- “I’m sorry mum. Would you mind if we go tomorrow?”

+ Paying lip- service

- “I feel sick these day. May be another time.”

- “I will have you next time”

Chart 3: Ranking of occurrence of refusing strategies in English and Vietnamese

05

101520253035404550

Fla

t

Negating t

he

Assert

ing

Back-r

equest

Show

ing

Off

ering

Payin

g lip

-

Bord

erlin

e

Refusing strategies

Percen

tag

e

Anglicist

Vietnamese

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It is noticeable from the chart that Asking for reciprocity, Asserting condition,

Showing concern to hearer, Token acceptance, Borderline refusals are not used to Anglicist. There are some refusing strategies Vietnamese also do not use such as Expressing doubt, Asking for reciprocity, Asserting condition, Offering medium help and Token acceptance.

In short, there are many ways to refuse but the indirect refusals are preferred more than the direct refusals for both Anglicist and Vietnamese along with all situation (in those, the age and status of requestor are as equal as or higher/ lower than the requestee). Both of Anglicist and Vietnamese not only use separate the indirect refusal ways, they tend to use the combination of excuse refusal and the other ones.

For examples:

Refusal - Bố đang phải làm việc. Con thử suy nghĩ tiếp theo các hướng khác xem

rồi sau đó bố con mình cùng giài quyết nhé!

Refusal strategies

Offering excuse Back request Delay

Refusal - Con hỏi bố nhé. Mẹ đang bận quá!

Refusal strategies

Passing ball to other Offering excuse

Refusal - I am tired tonight And do not want to go shopping

May be tomorrow

Refusal strategies

Offering excuse Flat refusal Delay

Refusal - I am tired to go shopping today

Let’s do it some other day

Refusal strategies

Offering excuse Paying lip- service

4. Some common structures/ expression in Vietnamese and in English

4.1. In Vietnamese

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In Vietnamese, a study by Nguyen Phuong Chi (1997) shows that refusing is almost a negation of request. Therefore, it is noticeable that very common refusing utterances are in form of negative imperative and declarative with such words as không, không thể, thôi, đừng, chẳng… or negative interrogatives with such structures as: sao có thể, sao được, gì được, tại sao. Refusals can be soften by the use of “courteous” words as redressive element like đáng tiếc, đán buồn, xin lỗi, xin bác thông cảm, tha cho em…

In fact, during the time we do our survey and ofcourse in the daily life, we find out the same result as Ms.Chi.

For examples: (From our survey and daily conversations)

Mình sợ là không được, vì…

Có thật không? Mình mà làm được cái này á?

Mình không chắc có làm được không

Tiếc nhờ bây giờ tớ phải

Sao không nói sớm, bây giờ tớ bận mất rồi

Mình cũng biết là cậu … nhưng mà mình cũng không giỏi cái này

Thế thì phải xin lỗi cậu rồi, tớ phải…

Cái này thì tớ làm ngon nhưng mà … hôm sau được không?

Tớ phải nói trước là không hoàn thành sớm được đâu, dạo này đang bận …

Thông cảm cho mình, đợt này mình phải…

Đừng nhờ em, em chẳng biết cái gì đâu!

4.2. In English

Anglicist also refuses the others’ request in the ways avoiding the impression of direct confrontation or discourtesy. So it becomes less challenging to the request and more acceptable for the requestor. According to graduate paper of Phan Thi Van Quyen, she shows us that some common refusal to a request may contain features of delay: hehh, uhm…the use of mitigated refusal: “I don’t think I can”…hesitations: “Let’s see”… an explanation of the refusal or saying with their reluctance.

For examples: (From our survey and daily conversations)

I’m afraid I can’t… because…

I wish I could …

I’m sorry but…

I can’t because…14

I regret to say that I’m unable to help you

Sorry but I …

No way!

Pull the other one!

You must be joking. How can I help you with…

Can you please check with other….?

Sorry. May be next time I’ll help you.

V. Conclusion:

As a matter of fact, what to say and how to say a refusal depend very much on the relationship among interlocutors and the context and content of the request, etc; however in this study, we only focus on the age and the status of interlocutors.

By doing inter-cultural communication survey, we identify and discuss the some kinds of refusing a request and how the age and status among interlocutors affect the way they refuse others. The older and higher status person feels free to refuse a request in all kinds of relationships they suggest an alternative or future acceptance. On the other hand, the younger and lower-status person tends to be more carefully, they usually employ excuse refusals. At last, though Anglicist and Vietnamese have very different culture but may be in this field, we find that they deal with a request in the same way. Anglicist and Vietnamese do not only use separate the indirect refusal ways, they tend to use the combination of excuse refusal and the other ones.

V. Appendixes

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SURVEY SAMPLES

INTER-CULTURAL COMMUNICATION SURVEY SAMPLEWe are students coming from Hanoi University of languages and international studies. We are doing a survey in intercultural communication about how people’s age and status influence their ways of refusing a request

Here are some questions. Please fill in your answer.

1. A colleague asks if you could help with his/her project. You do not want to help him. What will you say to refuse his request?

……………………………………………………………………………………………

……………………………………………………………………………………………

2. You are working with heavy workload documents. Your son comes to ask you if you could help him solve a difficult Math exercise. You cannot stop working to help him. How do you refuse?

……………………………………………………………………………………………

……………………………………………………………………………………………

3. You have just bought a new car and your friend asks you if you could lend him your car because he wants to drive his girlfriend to the countryside at weekend. Actually, you do not want to do that. What will you tell him?

……………………………………………………………………………………………

……………………………………………………………………………………………

4. Your boss wants you to go with him to have dinner with partners. You do not want to go. What will you reply?

……………………………………………………………………………………………

……………………………………………………………………………………………

5. Your mother asks you to go shopping with her, but you want to stay at home. What do you tell her?

……………………………………………………………………………………………

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Thank you for your enthusiastic help. Please fill your personal information in the gap follow.

Gender: Female/ Male

Nationality:

Mother tongue:

Age range:

20 – 25 □ 26 – 30 □ 31 – 40 □ 41 – 50 □ >50 □

Occupation:

BẢN KHẢO SÁT CỦA BỘ MÔN GIAO TIẾP LIÊN VĂN HÓA16

Chúng tôi là sinh viên Đại học Ngoại ngữ - ĐHQGHN

Chúng tôi đang làm khảo sát của môn Giao tiếp liên văn hóa với chủ đề : Tuổi tác và địa vị có tác động thế nào đối với cách từ chối một lời yêu cầu

Sau đây là các tình huống chúng tôi đưa ra. Hãy điền câu trả lời của bạn.

Tình huống 1: Một đồng nghiệp nhờ bạn làm giúp anh/cô ấy một phần trong dự án. Nếu bạn không muốn làm, bạn sẽ trả lời thế nào?

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Tình huống 2: Bạn đang bận rộn với công việc của mình thì đứa con trai lớp 1 của bạn nhờ giải giúp bài toán khó. Bạn sẽ nói thế nào để từ chối?

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Tình huống 3: Bạn vừa mới mua một chiếc ô tô mới. Bạn của bạn muốn mượn xe để đưa cô bạn gái đi chơi. Bạn thực sự không muốn cho mượn. Bạn sẽ trả lời thế nào?

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Tình huống 4: Sếp bảo bạn đi ăn với đối tác cùng sếp mà bạn lại không muốn đi. Bạn sẽ đối phó thế nào?

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Tình huống 5: Mẹ rủ bạn đi mua sắm, nhưng bạn lại muốn ở nhà. Bạn sẽ trả lời thế nào?

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Cảm ơn bạn đã giúp đỡ chúng tôi hoàn thành bản khảo sát. Xin vui lòng điền một vài thông tin theo mẫu dưới đây:

Giới tính: Nam/Nữ

Tuổi:

Nghề nghiệp:

REFERENCES

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1. Sarfo, Emmanuel (2011). Variations in ways of refusing requests in English among members of a college community in Ghana.

2. Quyen, Phan Thi Van. Cross cultural differences in refusing a request.

3. Speech acts: Refusals. Retrieved from http://carla.acad.umn.edu/speechacts/bibliography/refusals.html on 2nd November, 2011.

4. Cross- cultural communication handouts for sophomores at Hanoi University of languages and International studies.

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