Writing SkillsMurder Mystery

Name: ______________________________________

POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS

POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS

Writing Task

Describe the setting in this picture in as much detail as you can.

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Punctuation4

Full Stops~ end of a sentence that is not a question or statement

Question Mark~ Indicate a question/express disbelief:~ Who else will be there?~ Is this really little Thomas?

Exclamation Mark~ Interjection/surprise/strong emotion~ What a triumph!~ I’ve just about had enough!~ Wonderful!

Comma

Punctuate the following sentences:

1. leave the room immediately

2. roses are red

3. we have a lot of trees in our garden they provide

Developing Skills:

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Full Stops~ end of a sentence that is not a question or statement

Question Mark~ Indicate a question/express disbelief:~ Who else will be there?~ Is this really little Thomas?

Exclamation Mark~ Interjection/surprise/strong emotion~ What a triumph!~ I’ve just about had enough!~ Wonderful!

Comma

Punctuate the following sentences:

1. leave the room immediately

2. roses are red

3. we have a lot of trees in our garden they provide

Fill in the appropriate apostrophes:

The class didnt go on the schools trip to the zoo because the school hadn’t ordered the company buses. However, the next days activities proceeded as planned. At the bus stop, before entering the zoos gates, the teacher said that students shouldn’t fool around, but that they must write down the animals habits. He would mark the pupils notebooks. The students attitude was positive. At the days end, the teacher felt that the childrens behaviour and discipline had been excellent.

Conventions of a Murder Mystery

What sorts of things might you normally expect to see in a murder mystery story? This about the sorts of settings there might be (including weather, sights, sounds, smells, tastes, textures, objects etc.), the kinds of characters you might expect (old/young, male/female, how might they move/speak etc.), and the kinds of events that might take place. Add all your ideas to the mind map below.

On the next page, start planning some ideas for the plot your story might follow.

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MurderMystery

Planning a Murder Mystery Story

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Setting:

Characters:

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Event:

Resolution:

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Developing Skills:Varying Sentence Starters

For a piece of writing to be interesting it should include a variety of techniques. This includes varying the way you start your sentences – if all your sentences start with ‘the’ or ‘I’, you writing will get boring very quickly!

To help you do this you can use iSPACE openers. Below is a quick breakdown of what iSPACE stands for.

I – ‘ing’ verbS – simileP – prepositionA – adverbC – connectiveE – ‘ed’ adjective

Throughout this booklet you will practice each of these types of sentence openers so that you will be able to include them in your writing.

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Developing Skills:‘ing’ Verb Sentence Starters

An ‘ing’ verb is a doing/action word ending with ‘ing’.

These sentences have two parts. One part of them, as in almost all sentences, contains the subject doing the action. The other part has an ‘ing’ verb. Here’s an example:

Waiting at the bus stop, I noticed a ten-pound note.

(Subject: ‘I’ – that’s the person who is doing the waiting and who notices the money.)

Usually, the verb is placed before the subject. Look at what happens if you switch the order:

I noticed a ten-pound note, waiting at the bus stop.

Can you see the problem here? It sounds like it is the ten-pound note that is waiting at the bus stop.

Here are the first halves of some –ing clauses. You make up the second halves. You are given the subject of the main clause – try to finish the sentence with your own ideas.

1. Sitting on the cushion, the cat ______________________________________2. Finishing her ice cream, Mavis ______________________________________3. Deciding it was getting late, I ______________________________________4. Hoping it wouldn’t rain, Mrs Pritchard

________________________________5. Jumping up onto the truck, Sam ____________________________________

Now think of 5-10 of your own sentences beginning with –ing verbs. You can choose your own verb or use some from the list below:thinking wondering diving sailing kicking washing gliding failing

straining printing clicking opening_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Sometimes our sentences sound silly if the –ing clause is left dangling. Look at the following three sentences where the –ing clause has been left dangling. Can you see why they don’t quite make sense?

Sitting on top of the hill, it started to rain. Walking down the road, the bus zoomed past Eating my ice cream, it fell on the floor.

For the following sentences say whether the –ing clause is a dangler(D) or makes sense(S).

Sitting by the lake, the fish were surfacing.

Watching all the clouds, I became dizzy.

Thinking of the holidays, the teacher grew dreamy.

Finishing his fish course, the pudding looked great.

Swilling out the sink, the dirt hardly moved.

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Finding and Using Effective Language

Read the extracts below and highlight/annotate any effective language.

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The Winter Queen by Boris AkuninChapter One

In which an account is rendered of a certain cynical escapade

On Monday the fifteenth of May in the year 1876, between the hours of two and three in the afternoon on a day that combined the freshness of spring with the warmth of summer, numerous individuals in Moscow's Alexander Gardens unexpectedly found themselves eyewitnesses to the perpetration of an outrage that flagrantly transgressed the bounds of common decency.

The public strolling the alleyways between blossoming lilac bushes and flower beds ablaze with the flaming scarlet blooms of tulips was smartly decked out: ladies holding aloft lacework parasols (to avert the threat of freckles), nannies minding children in neat little sailor suits, and young men affecting an air of boredom in fashionable cheviot frock coats or jackets cut in the short English fashion. With nothing apparently portending any disagreeable turn of events, a lazy satisfaction and gratifying tedium suffused the atmosphere, mingling with the scents of a mature and confident spring season. The rays of the sun beat down in earnest, and every last one of the benches that happened to stand in the shade was occupied.

Seated on one of these benches located not far from the Grotto and facing the railings so as to afford a view of the beginning of Neglinnaya Street and the yellow wall of the Manège were two ladies. One of them, a very young lady (indeed, not really a lady at all, more of a girl), was reading a small morocco-bound volume and glancing about her from time to time with an air of distracted curiosity. Her much older companion, wearing a good-quality dark blue woolen dress and sensible lace-up ankle boots, rotated her needles in a regular rhythm as she concentrated on knitting some item in a poisonous pink, yet still found time to turn her head to the right and the left with a rapid glance so keen that there was certainly no way anything the least bit remarkable could possibly escape it.

The lady's attention was caught immediately by the young man in narrow check trousers, a frock coat casually buttoned over a white waistcoat, and a round Swiss hat. He was walking along the alley in such a remarkably strange manner, stopping every now and again

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Frankenstein by Mary ShelleyChapter One

IT WAS on a dreary night of November that I beheld the accomplishment of my toils. With an anxiety that almost amounted to agony, collected the instruments of life around me, that I might infuse a spark of being into the lifeless thing that lay at my feet. It was already one in the morning; the rain pattered dismally against the panes, and my candle was nearly burnt out, when, by the glimmer of the half-extinguished light, I saw the dull yellow eye of the creature open; it breathed hard, and a convulsive motion agitated its limbs.

How can I describe my emotions at this catastrophe, or how delineate the wretch whom with such infinite pains and care I had endeavoured to form? His limbs were in proportion, and I had selected his features as beautiful. Beautiful! -- Great God! His yellow skin scarcely covered the work of muscles and arteries beneath; his hair was of a lustrous black, and flowing; his teeth of a pearly whiteness; but these luxuriances only formed a more horrid contrast with his watery eyes, that seemed almost of the same colour as the dun white sockets in which they were set, his shrivelled complexion and straight black lips.

The different accidents of life are not so changeable as the feelings of human nature. I had worked hard for nearly two years, for the sole purpose of infusing life into an inanimate body. For this I had deprived myself of rest and health. I had desired it with an ardour that far exceeded moderation; but now that I had finished, the beauty of the dream vanished, and breathless horror and disgust filled my heart. Unable to endure the aspect of the being I had created, I rushed out of the room, continued a long time traversing my bed chamber, unable to compose my mind to sleep. At length lassitude succeeded to the tumult I had before endured; and I threw myself on the bed in my clothes, endeavouring to seek a few moments of forgetfulness. But it was in vain: I slept, indeed, but I was disturbed by the wildest dreams. I thought I saw Elizabeth, in the bloom of health, walking in the streets of Ingolstadt. Delighted and surprised, I embraced her; but as I imprinted the first kiss on her lips, they became livid with the hue of death; her features appeared to change, and I thought that I held the corpse of my dead mother in my arms; a shroud enveloped her form, and I saw the grave-worms crawling in the folds of the flannel. I started from my sleep with horror; a cold dew covered my forehead, my teeth chattered, and every limb became convulsed: when, by the dim and yellow light of the moon, as it forced its way through the window shutters, I beheld the wretch -- the miserable monster whom I had created. He held up the curtain of the bed and his eyes, if eyes they may be called, were fixed on me. His jaws opened, and he muttered some inarticulate sounds, while a grin wrinkled his cheeks. He might have spoken, but I did not hear; one hand was stretched out, seemingly to detain me, but I escaped, and rushed down stairs. I took refuge in the courtyard belonging to the house which I inhabited; where I remained during the rest of the night, walking up and

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Dracula by Bram StokerChapter Three

I suppose I must have fallen asleep. I hope so, but I fear, for all that followed was startlingly real, so real that now sitting here in the broad, full sunlight of the morning, I cannot in the least believe that it was all sleep.

I was not alone. The room was the same, unchanged in any way since I came into it. I could see along the floor, in the brilliant moonlight, my own footsteps marked where I had disturbed the long accumulation of dust. In the moonlight opposite me were three young women, ladies by their dress and manner. I thought at the time that I must be dreaming when I saw them, they threw no shadow on the floor. They came close to me, and looked at me for some time, and then whispered together. Two were dark, and had high aquiline noses, like the Count, and great dark, piercing eyes, that seemed to be almost red when contrasted with the pale yellow moon. The other was fair,as fair as can be, with great masses of golden hair and eyes like pale sapphires. I seemed somehow to know her face, and to know it in connection with some dreamy fear, but I could not recollect at the moment how or where. All three had brilliant white teeth that shone like pearls against the ruby of their voluptuous lips. There was something about them that made me uneasy, some longing and at the same time some deadly fear. I felt in my heart a wicked, burning desire that they would kiss me with those red lips. It is not good to note this down, lest some day it should meet Mina's eyes and cause her pain, but it is the truth. They whispered together, and then they all three laughed, such a silvery, musical laugh, but as hard as though the sound never could have come through the softness of human lips. It was like the intolerable, tingling sweetness of waterglasses when played on by a cunning hand. The fair girl shook her head coquettishly, and the other two urged her on.

One said, "Go on! You are first, and we shall follow. Yours' is the right to begin."

The other added, "He is young and strong. There are kisses for us all."

I lay quiet, looking out from under my eyelashes in an agony of delightful anticipation. The fair girl advanced and bent over me till I could feel the movement of her breath upon me. Sweet it was in one sense, honey-sweet, and sent the same tingling through the nerves as her voice, but with a bitter underlying the sweet, a bitter offensiveness, as one smells in blood.

I was afraid to raise my eyelids, but looked out and saw perfectly under the lashes. The girl went on her knees, and bent over me, simply gloating. There was a deliberate voluptuousness which was both thrilling and repulsive, and as she arched her neck she actually licked her lips like an animal, till I could see in the moonlight the moisture shining on the scarlet lips and on the red tongue as it lapped the white sharp teeth. Lower and lower went her head as the lips went below the range of my mouth and chin and seemed to fasten on my throat. Then she paused, and I could hear the churning sound of her tongue as it licked her teeth and lips, and I could feel the hot breath on my neck. Then the skin of my throat began to tingle as one's flesh does when the hand that is to tickle it approaches nearer, nearer. I could feel the soft, shivering touch of the lips on the super sensitive skin of my throat, and the hard dents of two sharp teeth,

Key Elements of Descriptive LanguageLook at the extracts you have just highlighted and fill out the table below with some examples of each of the descriptive techniques.

Element of

description

What is it? Example

Sensory description

Descriptions of what you might

see/smell/hear/taste/touch if you were in

the scene being described.

Weather/ pathetic fallacy

Descriptions of the weather/ when the

weather is described as having emotions or taking

actions that normally would only be done by people (personification).

Ambitious vocabulary

The use of ambitious or

sophisticated words to create an effect in the writing. (e.g.

instead of describing

something as old it could be described

as ancient or decrepit)

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Figurative language

SimileMetaphor

OnomatopoeiaAlliteration

Personification

Developing Skills:Simile Sentence Starters

A simile is when you compare one thing to another using ‘as’ or ‘like’.

Using similes to start your sentences can be a powerful tool in your writing, helping to create a vivid atmosphere.

See if you can complete the simile openings below.

Howling like _________________, the wind whipped through the open door.As soft as __________________, his whispered plea was the only sound in the gathering dark.Quick as ____________________, she snatched the fluttering paper from the bough, and hungrily devoured the tiny scrawl that covered it.Trapped like _______________________________ they screamed for help.

Now see if you can create similes from scratch to open these sentences:

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________________________________________ the hunched figure dashed from tree to tree.________________________________________ ancient oak trees lined the winding path.________________________________________ she crept between the gravestones.

Using Figurative Language

S – simileM – metaphorO – onomatopoeiaA – alliterationP – personification

Write your own examples of figurative language that you could use in descriptions of your setting and character.

Figurative language technique

Example for setting Example for character

Simile

Metaphor

Onomatopoeia

Alliteration

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Personification

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Developing Skills:Preposition Sentence Starters

A preposition is a word that tells you about where or when something happened.

Another way to make your writing more interesting is to begin your sentence with a preposition.

Have a look at the examples below:

Before he could catch him, the mysterious man had fled through the window.

At the end of the dark alley stood a derelict shop.

As the sky darkened, rain began to pour down, soaking the passers-by.

Have a go at putting a preposition at the beginning of these sentences:

_________________________________________, the crows squawked and screeched their jarring song.

__________________________________________, a crumbling ruin cast a gloom over the town.

__________________________________________, the shrouded figure shuffled suspisciously.

Now write two of your own sentences, beginning with a preposition:__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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How to Structure a Setting Description

It is important to think about how you will structure your descriptive writing.

When describing your setting, try to go from the general to the specific. Start off your piece by giving a general overview of your scene; for example, as if you are viewing it from above. Each paragraph that follows should then describe one element of that scene in as much detail as possible.

Your general setting description may include details, such as: The time of day The weather Scenery (e.g. buildings, nature, property, etc.)

When you zoom in to specific aspects you should try to go into as much detail as possible, by describing things like the:

of whatever you are describing.

Try to be imaginative in the way that you're describing your scene by bringing in:

Figurative language (SMOAP) Senses Range of vocabulary

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Shape Size Colour Texture Material Lighting

Look at the image below and write a few brief sentences starting with a general description and then zooming in on a single detail:

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Atmosphere:In descriptive writing, atmosphere is created through: location, the time of day, the weather, the language used. Specific periods of time and types of weather have specific moods and emotions associated with them. These can be used to have a specific effect on your audience.

What moods/emotions might be associated with the following weathers and times of day?Midnight ________________________________________________Fog ________________________________________________Sunrise ________________________________________________Rain ________________________________________________

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Developing Skills:Adverb Sentence Starters

An adverb tells us how something is done. Adverbs usually end in ‘ly’ – e.g. swiftly.

Starting a sentence with an adverb makes a huge difference to the effect of the writing. Look at the sentence below without and then with an adverbial opening.

The man brushed the cobwebs from the safe.

Urgently, the man brushed the cobwebs from the safe.

Opening the sentence with an adverb can completely change how we picture the scene! Have a look at the adverbs on the next page. See if you can create 10 sentences that all begin with an adverb.

1. ______________________________________________________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________________________________________________

4. ______________________________________________________________________________________________

5. ______________________________________________________________________________________________

6. ______________________________________________________________________________________________

7. ______________________________________________________________________________________________

8. ______________________________________________________________________________________________

9. ______________________________________________________________________________________________

10._____________________________________________________________________________________________

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Aangrily anxiously arrogantly awkwardly

Bbitterlybleaklyblindly  boldly bravely briskly 

Ccalmly carefully carelessly cautiously cheerfully courageously 

Ddeliberately dreamily desperatelydaintilydangerously

Eeasily elegantly energetically enthusiasticallyexcitedly   

Fferociously  fiercely foolishly fortunately furiously  

Ggenerouslygentlygracefully gratefullygreedily

Hhappily hastily heavily helpfully helplessly hungrily

Iimmediately innocently inquisitively interestingly 

Jjealouslyjoyfullyjarringlyjauntilyjerkily

Kkindlyknowinglykeenly

Llazily lightly loudly lavishly

Mmadly miserably mockingly  mysteriously

Nnaturally nearly neatlynervously noisily 

Oobedientlyobstinatelyoddlyobligingly

Ppainfully  patiently playfully politely 

Qquicklyquietlyquaintlyqueasilyqueerly

Rrapidly regularly reluctantlyroughlyraggedly

Sselfishly silently slowly stealthily suddenly surprisinglysuspiciously

Tthankfullytriumphantlytantalisinglytactfullytearfullytenderlytensely

U

ultimatelyunabashedlyunbearablyunexpectedly unfortunatelyunimpressivelyunnaturallyunnecessarilyupliftinglyurgentlyusefullyuselesslyusuallyutterly

V

vacantlyvaguelyvainlyvaliantlyvastlyverballyviciouslyvictoriously violentlyvivaciously voluntarily

W

warmlyweakly wearily wetlywhollywildlywillfullywiselywoefullywonderfullyworriedlywrongly

Y

yawninglyyearninglyyieldinglyyouthfully

Z

zealously   zestfully    zestily 

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Similes

PersonificationSenses

Adjectives and adverbs

Time place and mood

Weather

Draw your setting or find and print a photo to stick in:

Describe your setting using the boxes; use as many language techniques as you can.

Developing Skills:Connective Sentence Starters

A connective is a word that is used to link ideas or parts of language together, and to give structure to our writing.

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CONNECTIVESfor starting sentences

ADDINGandalso

as well as moreoverin addition SEQUENCING

nextthen

first, second, thirdfinally

meanwhileafter

EMPHASISINGmost importantly

above allin particularsignificantly

indeednotably

COMPARINGequally

in the same waylikewiseas with

like

CONTRASTINGhoweverwhereas

instead ofalternatively

otherwiseunlike

ILLUSTRATINGfor example

such asfor instance

as revealed byin the case of

QUALIFYINGhoweveralthough

unlessexcept

ifas long asapart from

CAUSE & EFFECTbecasue

soas a resulttherefore

thusconsequent;y

Write five sentences that each begins with a different connective:_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Writing TaskDescribing a Setting

Write a detailed description of your setting in the space provided below. Include all the skills you have practiced so far. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

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____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Self Assessment

What did I do well in my description of setting?

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__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Which techniques did I use?

SimileMetaphorOnomatopoeiaAlliterationPersonificationAdjectivesAdverbsPreposition openings‘ing’ verb openings

What do I need to improve on?

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Developing Skills:‘ed’ Adjective Sentence Starters

‘ed’ adjectives usually describe a feeling or the way someone or something has been treated.

Using ‘ed’ adjectives to open a sentence gives an immediate sense of mood and atmosphere to a description.

Mystified, she followed the trail of breadcrumbs leading away from her front door.

Try using some of the ‘ed’ adjectives in the word cloud above to create your own sentences.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________

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Developing Skills:Commas

Commas are a piece of punctuation used: in lists, in direct speech, to separate clauses in a sentence, and with ‘however’.

Commas are an important piece of punctuation and using them can completely change the meaning of a sentence.

Add commas to the following sentences where needed.

1. When I get to the shopping centre I will go to the food court.

2. Tomorrow Wednesday we will take a trip to the zoo.3. I am good at mathematics science and English. 4. Paris France is my favourite place to visit. 5. Unfortunately my favourite colour was sold out. 6. My brother who is 22 years old graduated today. 7. The crowd yelled “Surprise!” as the party started. 8. I have to run to the store get my hair cut and eat

before ten. 9. I’m sorry I did not understand what you said. 10. After ten minutes I asked the nurse about the

medicine. 11. “Tom don’t do that!” said Mohammad. 12. Suddenly a loud crack echoed around the room.

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Punctuating for Effect

Read through the extract below and highlight where punctuation has been used to help build tension.

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THE TELL-TALE HEART by Edgar Allan Poe

1843 But even yet I refrained and kept still. I scarcely breathed. I held the lantern motionless. I tried how steadily I could maintain the ray upon the eve. Meantime the hellish pounding of the heart increased. It grew quicker and quicker, and louder and louder every instant. The old man's terror must have been extreme! It grew louder, I say, louder every moment! --do you mark me well I have told you that I am nervous: so I am. And now at the dead hour of the night, amid the dreadful silence of that old house, so strange a noise as this excited me to uncontrollable terror.

Yet, for some minutes longer I refrained and stood still. But the beating grew louder, louder! I thought the heart must burst. And now a new anxiety seized me --the sound would be heard by a neighbour! The old man's hour had come! With a loud yell, I threw open the lantern and leaped into the room. He shrieked once --once only.

In an instant I dragged him to the floor, and pulled the heavy bed over him. I then smiled happily, to find the deed so far done. But, for many minutes, the heart beat on with a muffled sound…

At length it ceased. The old man was dead. I removed the bed and examined the corpse. Yes, he was stone, stone dead. I placed my hand upon the heart and held it there many minutes. There was no pulsation. He was stone dead. His eve would trouble me no more.

Punctuating for EffectRead the passages below. How does the punctuation change the effect of the passage? Answer the questions.

(A)Was it too soon to worry? Who could tell? It was better to start worrying now and possibly come up with a solution than it was to not worry at all and to lose all of that valuable problem‐solving time. Wasn’t it? Oh if only he could be sure, he fretted to himself. If only he could ever know what was the right thing to do, and when was the right time to do it!

(B)He couldn’t tell if it was too soon to start to worry. On the one hand, the more time he invested in thinking about his problem, the more chance that he would come up with a solution. On the other hand, he saw no reason to spend time worrying only to find out that the problem might just go away on its own. He fretted to himself, wishing that he could know the right thing to do and the right time to do it.

1. What is the effect of the questions in version A?

A. They make the character’s thoughts seem more immediate to the reader.

B. They show that the writer wasn’t sure what he wanted to write.

C. They emphasize the character’s mental state.D. Both A and C.

2. Compare and contrast version A and version B.

A. The character seems a little more removed from his problem in version.

B. The character seems more distraught in version A.C. The character in version A is experiencing strong feelings

and the character in version B isn’t.D. All of the above.

3. What is the effect of the several very short sentences in version A?

A. They add to the reader’s feeling of the character’s uncertainty.

B. They create texture and interest by mixing short and long sentences.

C. They add to the tension of the passage.34

D. All of the above.

Developing Skills:Colons and Semi-Colons

Colon

Used to introduce a quotation. Used to introduce a list:

For lunch today I had: a cheese sandwich, a packet of crisps, a Fruit Shoot and an apple.

Used between two clauses when the second one explains or gives more information about the first:

Schools nowadays are much improved from previously: corporal punishment no longer exists, and teachers generally make an effort to involve and engage students in lessons.

Semi-Colon

Use to separate items in a list when each item is fairly long and complicated:

I did lots of things at the weekend: I went to the theatre with my friends; I visited my gran for Sunday lunch; I did a huge pile of marking; I created a PowerPoint presentation.

To separate clauses in a sentence when a sentence has two or more clauses which each have equal weight:

Mavis was a student at the local school; she was a hard-working and pleasant girl.

Reminder: The main clause in a sentence makes complete sense by itself. The subordinate clauses do not make complete sense. They need the main clause to add to their meaning.

A semi-colon is an alternative to a full stop when you want to make two short, related sentences into one long one:

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The impossible we do at once; miracles take a little longer.

Look carefully at the following examples and correct them by adding the colons and semi colons where necessary. At the end of each example is the number of corrections you will need to make.

Daniel slept soundly. Isobel was crying this was quite rare. (1)

There were a lot of things on Anna’s floor clothes, books, plastic bags, shoes, papers and a dirty coffee mug she had forgotten to take downstairs. (1)

There had been no possibility of taking a walk that day it had been raining steadily since dawn. (1)

The Kingsway School is great for many things the quality of the teaching, especially in English the excellence of the buildings the wonderful cafeterias, serving an array of healthy food the intelligence and helpfulness of the pupils. (4)

Each was silent, contemplating the next move Danielle sat motionless on the sofa, staring blankly ahead of her Belinda stood near the door, lazily turning over the pages of Good Homemaking Geoff gazed out of the window at nothing, sighing in dissatisfaction. (3)

Challenge: Create your own sentences using colons and semi colons.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Improving Vocabulary

The words you choose to use in your writing make an enormous difference to how effective it is. If you always use the same words, or always use simple words, your writing can quickly become boring!

Read the example below.

James saw the old house first. The gang walked through a gap in the wall and worked through the tangle of weeds until they stood before the enormous front door. James raised his hand and pulled on the handle. Slowly, the door swung open.

Replace the verbs in the extract below with more powerful verbs.

James the old house first. The gang through a gap in the wall and ________through the tangle of weeds until they ________ before the enormous front door. James raised his hand and on the handle. Slowly the door _________ open.

spotted/noticed/shuddered/trembled/shivered swaggered/strutted/sauntered/toiled/stumbled/struggled/dragged/tugged/yanked/creaked/groaned/drifted

Challenge: What is the effect of the new verbs you have chosen? Annotate your choices above.

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Add more sophisticated vocabulary by replacing the italicised words in the following sentences.

Use a dictionary/thesaurus to help you if you’re stuck.

All decked out for the party, the room looked great _________.

A shadowy figure looked _______ intently through the window.

It was a nice _________ day for a stroll through the forest; at least, that is how it seemed this morning.

Unsure of what had made the noise, she walked ________ more carefully.

In spite of the sadness in her eyes, the woman was pretty __________.

The unexpected movement had scared __________ him.

The big _________ house loomed out of the shadows.

Creeping in through every crack and crevice, cold _________ air surrounded them, slowly turning their fingers blue.

From deep in the darkness, a voice said _________ “I see you…”, sending shivers up my spine.

After we had caught our breath, we went ________ further into the city, hoping to lose our assailants.

Write two sentences of your own using more sophisticated vocabulary.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Planning a Monologue

A monologue is a piece of writing in which one person is talking, often to an imagined listener or audience.

You are now going to extend your story from the setting you described earlier, by writing a monologue from the point of view of a character of your choice; it might be the criminal, a witness, the investigating police officer – you choose!

Use these questions to help you to plan your own monologue:

Who is speaking in your monologue?________________________________________________________

What has happened before your monologue begins? What has this person witnessed/discovered/done?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

How is this person feeling? (Upset? Frustrated? Excited? Overjoyed? Angry? Bitter? Terrified?)________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Why are they feeling like this?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What sort of atmosphere do you want to create in your monologue?_______________________________________________________

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Writing TaskMonologue

Now write your monologue – aim to really sound like the person you have chosen and remember to include

description to create a vivid image for your audience!

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Test your knowledge!I-SPACE Sentence Starters Re-cap

Ing verb opener: Screaming, I ran from the zombies.Simile opener: As quick as lightning, I ran away.Preposition opener: High on the hill, stood a derelict house.Adverb opener: Cautiously, I approached the edge of the cliff.Connective opener: As long as I stayed silent I would live.Ed adjective opener: Exhausted, I ran to tell my Dad.

1. I began my journey. Use an –ing verb and extend the sentence:

_____________, I began my journey____________________________

2. I made my way across the fields. Use a simile and extend the sentence.

_________________, I made my way across the field ______________

3. The field stretched out before me. Use a preposition and extend the sentence.

__________________, the field stretched out before me ____________

4. I peered into the dark subway. Use an adverb and extend the sentence.

_____________, I peered into the dark subway____________________

5. My ears were alert. Use a connective and extend the sentence.

________________, my ears were alert__________________________

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6. I reached the other side. Use –ed adjective and extend the sentence.

____________, I reached the other side__________________________

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Test your knowledge!Reviewing Learning

Skills I have learnt:

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Things I have done well:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Things I still need to work on:________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Word Bank46Character

FoulHarmful

Appearance

UnshavenPatchy

Actions

CrawledLeapt

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Character

FoulHarmful

Appearance

UnshavenPatchy

Actions

CrawledLeapt

Instead of said…

Instead of

went…

accusedadvisedapologizedassuredbawledbetbraggedburst outchatteredchitteredclaimedcommentedconfidedcooedcroakeddeclareddisagreeddribbledexplainedgawkedgreetedgrumbledhintedhummedinquiredjeeredlecturedmentionedmumblednaggedobservedperplexedpointed outpromisedput inquietlyreasonedrelatedrepliedretaliatedsassedshouted

acknowledgedaffirmedapprovedavowedbeamedbleatedbreathedcackledcheeredchokedclarifiedcomplainedconfirmedcorrectedcroweddemandeddisclosedechoedexplodedgentlygrimacedguessedhissedhypothesizedinsistedjestedliedmimickedmurmurednoddedofferedpesteredponderedproposedpuzzledquippedreassuredremarkedreportedretortedscreamedshrieked

climbed

crawled

crept

dawdled

drifted

approached

biked

danced

drove

hiked

hopped

marched

bounced

crashed

dashed

darted

flew

flipped

galloped

floated

hobbled

paraded

pranced

rode

rolled

sailed

scrambled

shuffled

shifted

hastened

hurried

jogged

jumped

raced

rushed

shuffled

slid

strolled

travelled

trespassed

trotted

visited

skipped

sped

sprinted

swooped

thundered

tore

prowled

rambled

wandered

ambled

meandered

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