January 28, 2018

Message Series: Betrayal Message #4 Betrayed By His Roommates

Larry Thorson

Genesis 40:1-23

Bible Study

Genesis 40:1-4

This month we’re studying the life of Joseph in the book of Genesis as a case study on the effects of betrayal. We’re living in the era of the #MeToo movement where hundreds of women are finally feeling empowered to come forth and tell their story of betrayal by men in power positions. That’s an important movement because betrayal has deep, far reaching consequences to a society as a whole. And while it’s not just women who are being betrayed, it’s nice they have a more significant voice now.

Thus far in the journey with Joseph we’ve seen how he was betrayed by his 11 brothers and then later his boss’ wife. Today we’re going to read about how he gets betrayed by a guy he actually helped encourage.

We begin in Genesis 40:1. Some time later, the cupbearer and the baker of the king of Egypt offended their master, the king of Egypt. 2 Pharaoh was angry with his two officials, the chief cupbearer and the chief baker,

A cupbearer’s job was to sample the king’s wine before he partook of it

because a king was often the target of assassination attempts. The easiest way to knock a king off would be to poison his wine. So a king really needed to have a lot of confidence in his cupbearer.

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I guess the second easiest way to assassinate a king in those days might have been to poison his food. So we also have the chief baker awaiting trial for apparently disrespecting the king.

3...and put them in custody in the house of the captain of the guard, in the same prison where Joseph was confined. A few weeks ago we looked at how Joseph had risen up through the rank of prisoners to actually be able to work in the king’s palace. But a perceived pass at the boss’ wife in one unsupervised moment, landed Joseph in this prison with the cupholder and baker. But it doesn’t sound like it was much of a high security prison, more like a house for the privileged felons while they awaited trial.

4 The captain of the guard assigned them to Joseph, and he attended them.That means Joseph was the slave assigned to wait on these high profile Egyptian prisoners. This would have enabled him to build relationships with some of the elite who had run afoul of the king and who might be able to become his advocate with the king if they were acquitted.

After they had been in custody for some time, 5 each of the two men—the cupbearer and the baker of the king of Egypt, who were being held in prison—had a dream the same night, and each dream had a meaning of its own.

6 When Joseph came to them the next morning, he saw that they were dejected. 7 So he asked Pharaoh’s officials who were in custody with him in his master’s house, “Why do you look so sad today?”

Think about that question. Was Joseph their pastor or therapist? Of course not. He was their servant. Yet Joseph reached out in a caring way to the prisoners he was assigned to wait on. He didn’t have to do that but he did. He showed concern. Remember that about him.

8 “We both had dreams,” they answered, “but there is no one to interpret them.” Is that ever a concern for you? I have dreams all the time and I don’t care whether I receive an interpretation or not. Recently after Christmas was all done and put away, I dreamt that I was in the Christmas play here at the church with the children and forgot the piece of paper with my lines on it. What would be the interpretation of that one? Who cares?

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Then Joseph said to them, “Do not interpretations belong to God? Tell me your dreams.” Let’s explore that for a moment. The Bible says God is all knowing so of course God would know the interpretations of all dreams. But God doesn’t always release those interpretations. Joseph was implying that if he went to God, the interpretation would be released for him.

In a lot of ancient societies, like those of Egypt and Greece, dreaming was considered a supernatural communication or a means of divine intervention. People with spiritual powers were expected to be able to provide divine meaning to dreams.

A 2009 paper by Carey Morewedge and Michael Norton in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that most people believe "their dreams reveal meaningful hidden truths." In one study conducted in the United States, South Korea and India, they found that 74% of Indians, 65% of South Koreans and 56% of Americans believed their dream content provided them with meaningful insight into their unconscious beliefs and desires.

The majority of those surveyed put more importance on dream content than to similar thought content that occurs while they are awake. In one study in the paper, Americans were more likely to report that they would miss their flight if they dreamt of their plane crashing than if they thought of their plane crashing the night before flying (while awake), and that they would be as likely to miss their flight if they dreamt of their plane crashing the night before their flight as if there was an actual plane crash on the route they intended to take.

But they found that not all dream content was considered equally important to us. Participants in their studies were more likely to perceive dreams to be meaningful when the content of dreams was in accordance with their beliefs and desires while awake. For example people were more likely to view a positive dream about a friend to be meaningful than a positive dream about someone they disliked, and were more likely to view a negative dream about a person they disliked as meaningful than a negative dream about a person they liked. Interesting.

9 So the chief cupbearer told Joseph his dream. He said to him, “In my dream I saw a vine in front of me, 10 and on the vine were three branches. As soon as it budded, it blossomed, and its clusters ripened into grapes. 11 Pharaoh’s cup

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was in my hand, and I took the grapes, squeezed them into Pharaoh’s cup and put the cup in his hand.”

Would that have been a positive or a negative dream? It was about a fast growing grapevine that seemed to instantly produce grapes. That’s pretty positive. The cupholder would once again have the Pharaoh’s cup that had been taken away from him during his imprisonment. That’s a positive change. And he was able to personally put the cup in Pharaoh’s hand. So it looks like he’s going to get coveted job back. I’d say that’s a very positive dream wouldn’t you? ` 12 “This is what it means,” Joseph said to him. “The three branches are three days. 13 Within three days Pharaoh will lift up your head and restore you to your position, and you will put Pharaoh’s cup in his hand, just as you used to do when you were his cupbearer. That could have been a good guess interpreting that dream on Joseph’s part except that he put a time limit on his interpretation. When Joseph said the three branches represented a specific time period of three days to be fulfilled. It would be just a guess if it didn’t happen within three days.

14 But when all goes well with you, remember me and show me kindness; mention me to Pharaoh and get me out of this prison. 15 I was forcibly carried off from the land of the Hebrews, and even here I have done nothing to deserve being put in a dungeon.” This was Joseph giving his very best plea for help. He had stopped, showed compassion by asking the cupbearer why he had a long face and then gave him a favorable interpretation of his dream. In our minds, a good deed should be worth at least one good deed in return, right? If you let someone cut in front of you in line, they should at least say thank you and show a little gratitude right? They shouldn’t act like cutting in front of you was an entitlement for them.

16 When the chief baker saw that Joseph had given a favorable interpretation, he said to Joseph, “I too had a dream: On my head were three baskets of bread. 17 In the top basket were all kinds of baked goods for Pharaoh, but the birds were eating them out of the basket on my head.” Would that have been a positive or negative dream? On his head were three baskets of bread. Not bad. Since he was a baker it might mean he was at least going to be making bread again. In the top basket were all kinds of baked goods for Pharaoh. Great. That’s his job. But birds were eating the bread out of his basket. The king wouldn’t want to eat bread that birds had pecked over. I would say this doesn’t sound like a very

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positive dream.

18 “This is what it means,” Joseph said. “The three baskets are three days. 19 Within three days Pharaoh will lift off your head and impale your body on a pole. And the birds will eat away your flesh.” Clearly, not what the baker wanted to hear.

20 Now the third day was Pharaoh’s birthday, and he gave a feast for all his officials. He lifted up the heads of the chief cupbearer and the chief baker in the presence of his officials: 21 He restored the chief cupbearer to his position, so that he once again put the cup into Pharaoh’s hand—

Joseph’s dream interpretation was right on the mark down to the day. That’s impressive. Does it impress you? 23 The chief cupbearer, however, did not remember Joseph; he forgot him. Realize that the chief cupbearer never promised Joseph he’d put a good word in for him as far as we know. So technically he never betrayed Joseph. While he got a few extra days of peace knowing that the dream was a good one, Joseph didn’t actually do anything to get the cupbearer his job back. Besides, sticking up for the man who made an apparent pass at the boss’ wife like Joseph might be a little dangerous. What Joseph did was show that he was in touch with God. But as far as an Egyptian would have believed, some foreign guy’s god like Joseph had nothing to do with his good fortune. So Joseph can’t really blame the cupbearer for betraying him can he?

Application

This little disappointment with the cupbearer on its own might not have meant anything under normal circumstances. But after being betrayed by his family, sold into slavery, and betrayed by his boss’ wife, this was one more nail in the coffin of his emotional well being. It might have felt like everyone truly was against him or at least that no one cared about him. Ever have that feeling?

Think of betrayal as an open wound on your leg. I remember the first time I met Jackie Rocket from this church in a rehabilitation facility. She told me of a large hole in her leg that just wouldn’t heal. It wouldn’t even close up or make any progress toward healing. It was frustrating for her because doctors wouldn’t release her to go home until that hole was closed. That’s

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how betrayal is in our heart. Sometimes that hole won’t close right away. Left untreated, it’s an opening for dirt and debris to move into our soul and infect our whole being. Unfortunately with holes in our soul they aren’t as visible as holes in our leg so no doctor will make you seek healing for it.

If you or someone you know is suffering from a betrayal that someone they trusted did to them, I want to affirm that Jesus can be the solution for that healing. But rather than being a pie in the sky, give your life to Jesus and all your problems will fly away, I’m going to suggest that what Jesus does for us is give us something called “core value.” Core value is what we live for and it’s the key factor that helps us heal from betrayal.

Our core value is that factor that gets us out of bed in the morning. It’s often stripped away in a betrayal. For example a wife may have as one of her core values being a loving, faithful wife and friend to her husband. When she discovers he’s been unfaithful to her that key core value for her is damaged.

Core value, in order to help us heal after a betrayal has to be regularly cultivated like a garden is cultivated. Betrayals cause us to believe lies about who we are. A scorned wife may think she’s no longer attractive or intelligent. Someone loses their job in a coup may start to think he or she should have been fired.

To cultivate what we know to be our core value means we have to focus our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors on increasing how we perceive the value of our experiences. We also have to stay true to what we believe to be most important to us. The more we can do this, the stronger our core value will grow and the less likely we’ll feel devalued, inadequate, or unlovable as a result of someone’s betrayal behavior against us.

If Joseph was going to heal from his series of betrayals and rejections he would have to consciously stay true to whom he knew he was. There are a lot of paths to help us do that. Steve Stosney in his book Living and Loving after Betrayal: How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment provides some steps to take. I’ll summarize just two that we’ll look at briefly:

1. Honor the most important thing about you as a person.

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What would be the most important thing about Joseph as a person? His coat of many colors? Of course not. His prestige as the favored son of his father? Oh no. That can all be stripped away and for him it was.

The most important thing about Joseph as a person is that he was made in the image of God. Everytime he could look in a reflection he could see God. Unfortunately we usually value ourselves not based on that view but based on how much money we make, how many friends like us on Facebook or how many people we can influence. But Jesus didn’t die for our millions of dollars or our Facebook friend list or our influence. Jesus died because we’re a piece of God and God sees that in us.

I’ve come to better understand and feel what that means since I first looked into the face of our grandson for the first time and I saw expressions of my mom in his face and realized that a piece of me is in that child. God sees a big piece of the Godhead in your face.

So what would you say is the most important thing about you as a person? And there are other things. Are you a caring, kind person? Are you an inquisitive person? Are you a quiet person. Write down what you would say are the important things about you as a person. As pastor I read a lot of obituaries and it’s always interesting to read how a person’s life is summarized in two or three paragraphs. How would you describe yourself in two or three paragraphs? So honor the most important thing about you as a person.

2. Prove to Yourself That You’re Worthy

In this church we know Christ died for us to make us worthy before our Creator. Somehow, that becomes a pie in the sky all will be fine when we die kind of thing that doesn’t always seem to impact our present. We can make it impact our present by proving it to ourselves. We can prove to ourselves that Christ has died for us.

Joseph lived many years before Christ so he didn’t know that Christ made him worthy. That was even pre Ten Commandments. He’s worked hard, he’s been kind, he’s asked for very little and yet over and over he’s been treated as if he’s not worthy of anything good. So like someone who has to

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live this life without knowing that Jesus made them worthy, Joseph would have to prove to himself that he’s worthy by doing something that would make him feel lovable and adequate. We can make that decision whether we feel like it or not. We can prove to our self that we’re respectable, valuable, and lovable by one simple step; respecting, valuing, and loving others.

If you’ve been betrayed and hurt by someone, the tendency is to lower yourself to that level and betray and hurt someone else instead of respecting, valuing and loving others. When we stoop to that level it ultimately makes us feel unlovable and inadequate and less able to prove to ourselves that we are worthy. But when we’ve been betrayed it’s hard to respect, value and love others.

To get out of that vicious cycle of being betrayed, betraying someone in revenge and being betrayed again we need to remind ourselves of who we are. We can do that by writing a declaration of who we are and reading it aloud, with all the conviction we can muster. For example: “I know that I am worthy of respect, value, and compassion, because Jesus died for me. I know Jesus died for me because I feel compassion for the distress and pain of my loved ones and, when possible, try my best to help.”

Now, you may not be feeling compassion for anybody at the moment because betrayal strips our emotions. But the act of saying it aloud plants and cements the idea in our minds.

Next, on a piece of paper, describe that declaration in actual behavioral terms: How will I show respect, value, and compassion for loved ones? (Example: I will talk to them the way that I want them to talk to me. I will let them know that I care about their well-being. I will show that I want to help when they are in pain or distress.)

As we do the things we wrote down, we’ll find a sense of personal power that comes from doing what we sincerely believe is the right thing. We then become less dependent on the response of others, who may not be able to validate us. In other words, an unfavorable response from others will be disappointing but will not make us feel unworthy of respect, value, and love.

ConclusionWe know the good news is that in Jesus Christ we are made worthy.

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That never changes whether a close friend betrays us and tells us otherwise. The bad news is that we have to convince our brain and our heart that Christ has made us worthy especially after a betrayal.

We know that God causes all things to work for the good of those are called by God. What we don’t know is how God might turn a betrayal in our life into something positive.

After the cupbearer forgot about Joseph, Joseph was cast off to the dungeon. Some time passed and the king had a dream about a famine that he couldn’t interpret. No one could interpret it. That’s when the cupbearer remember Joseph. The king brought Joseph out of the dungeon where Joseph interpreted the dream as a prophecy of a coming seven year famine. He warned the king to stockpile the storehouses during the seven good years which he did and also restored Joseph to one of the highest positions in the land. It was that famine that brought Joseph’s brothers to Egypt begging for food and ultimately reconciled the family.

What looked like another rejection of Joseph by the cupbearer, God used to bring reconciliation for him. Remember God works out all things for our good to those are called by God. You can convince your battered soul that nothing will separate you from the love of God. You don’t have to be dependent on the response of others for your validation. God has provided us with everything we need.

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IF YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW HOW TO GET STARTED IN FAITH

1. Recognize that everyone has sinned and fallen short of God’s ideal Romans 3:23-24

2. Know that the wages or payment for sinning is death Romans 6:23

3. But God loved us so much that He sent His only Son to die for usRomans 5:8

4. It is our responsibility to accept Jesus Christ as our Savior and allow Him to become the master of our life

Romans 10:13

Invite Jesus into your heart by praying something like the prayer below… “Dear Lord Jesus, in many ways I have sinned against you. I am sorry and want to turn from my sinful ways. I invite you to come into my heart and begin to make me like yourself. I commit my life wholeheartedly to you now. Thank you for saving me.”

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