Ugh,sunlight!We’resurprisedyoustillboughtthisaftergettingaclearlookathowhideouswetrulyare.Thanksforyourcharity. Forallthosewhohavebeenclam-oringfortheHawkstotradeKhabibulin(we’renotmentioningnames,butitrhymeswith“FairyPozner”)FridaynightagainstthePenswouldbeExhibitAastowhynot.WementionedthisonthestatspageonFriday,andnowitgraduatestothefrontpagetoday.CristobalHuet,forthemostpart,hasbeengoodtoverygood.Itshouldalsobemen-tionedthatduringthe2ndperiodagainstPittsburghhecameupwithsomebigsavestokeeptheHawksinit.ButtheHawkswouldnothaveneededkeepinginitifHuethadnotletintwo--arguablythree--baby-asssoftgoals. WeunderstoodQputtinginAnttiNiemiinthe3rdperiod,butitwasatleastfiveperiodstoolate.Huethasnevershownhecanhandleamajorworkload.Itbearsrepeat-ing:Huethasneverplayedmorethan50gamesinayear.He’salwayssplittime,andthrivedwhiledoingso.NiemishouldhavegottenastartagainstMinnesota--wherehebarelywouldhavehadanythingtodo--orinNashville,iffornootherreasonthantogivetheHawksasparkinagamewheretheywereclearlyroadweary.TheAmazingCristobaljustcan’tperformaftertwoorthreestartsinarow,whichmakesusawfullyurpyaboutturningoveraplayoffruntohim(Granted,aplayoffscheduleisdifferent--farlesstravel,noback-to-backgames,andeachteamisonthesametravelschedule).GoodthingtheHawksarepayinghimsomuch,then.City Slick Captain Ontheoppositeendofthespec-trum,JonathanToewsputonatourdeforceonFriday.Infact,he’sbeendoingthatforthebetterpartofsixweeks.Itwasmorethanjusthishat-trick(shouldhavebeenfour).AsfrequentcontributorMattMcCluresaid,“IfyouplayedadrinkinggamewhereyouhadtotakeadrinkeverytimeToewsemergesfromabattleontheboardsorthedefensivezonewiththepuck,you’dbebathinginyourownvomitbythesecondperiod.” CaptainMarvelwassimplyEVERY-WHEREagainstPittsburgh.Startingplays,finishingthem,keepingthemgoing.SomewereworriedthattheHawksactuallymightnothavea#1center,insteadofbeingshorta#2.Toewshasquitesimplyputthattorestthepastfewweeks,andwithauthority.Withouthis12-gamegoaldroughttostartthe

season,Toewswouldbestaringhisfirst40-goalseasonintheface.Wearetrulyblessedtohavehim.When Dogs Get Wings Tothisafternoon,andthevisitfromtheLosAngelesKings,whocanonlybedescribedasaroyal(cheeky)painintheassfortheHawks.Acoupleweeksago,whentheKingsthrewupsevenwinsoutofeight,therewasarealbuzzaboutaplayoffspot.That’sbeentemperedabitbylosingthelastfouroffive.TheKingsfindthemselvesfourpointsoutofthe8thseed,withfiveteamstoleapover.InGaryBettman’severybody-gets-a-trophyworld,that’sanawfullybigtask(Seri-ously,whothefucklikesthissystem?Wheredoeshegethisnumbers?Deerfield?) However,thisteamishardlythedisasterthatsomehadpredicted.Partofthereasonforthosepredictionswasagoaliesitu-ationthatwascrap-tacular.Fittingly,therea-sonforthesmallrenaissanceinthenewyearisnewfoundsteadyplayinthatareafromoneJonathanQuick(GodknowswegotenoughofitinJanuary),andimprovedplayfromErikErsbergLettuce.Quickhasbeenprettystellarinthelastfourgamessinceafullbodydry-heaveagainstAtlanta,wherehewaspulledaftergivingupthreegoalsonsevenshots.Hestopped39of41ScumshotsonFridaynight,soexpecttoseehimtoday. TheKingshavesomeimpressive,youngtalentupfront--DustinBrownandAnzeKopitarmostnotably.Butit’salongthe

bluelinethattheKingshavereallystartedtogrowsomething.KyleQuincey,DrewDoughty,andJackJohnsonforaburgeoningtriumverate(what?)thatonedaysoonmayrivalKeith,Seabrook,and...um....Keithagain.Quincey’sbeentherealsurprise;pluckedfromScumonwaiverswhentheyranoutofspaceforhim(yes,they’dratherhave78-yearoldJudasCheliosthanthiskid),he’sputup30assists,andlookstobearealplayer.Shut Him Down, The Ones With The Crown TheHawkshavestruggledwiththeKingsforacoupleseasonsnow.Lastyear,theysplit,thoughoneoftheHawks’winsshouldn’tcountastheyblewafour-goalthirdperiodleadandescapedinOT.Therewasalsothe9-2shellackinglastNewYear’sDay,andtwo5-2lossesthisseason.Partly,theHawkshavejustnotshownupagainstateamtheymustthinkisinferiortothem.Secondly,theKingsareprettysounddefensively--moresonowwithbettergoaltending--andtheHawkshaven’tputintheefforttobreakthemdown,atleastnotfor60minutes.TheKingsalsofinisheverycheck(knownattheSt.LouisPlan),whichweknowtheHawksdon’thandletoowell.However,thelasttimethesetwoteamsmet,whentheHawksfinallygotgoinginthelast30min.,theKingsweremauled.L.A.hasalsohadaproblemputtingafull60minutestogether.IftheHawksdoso,we’llhavetwomorepoints.

-Gov.BobbyJindal

We See It Right, We See It Well, And We’ll Save You From Your Hell

committedindian@gmail.comMarch 1st, 2009

The Committed Indian

The REal Fan’s Program

DOWN WITH THE KINGS (FOR ONCE)

$3

secondcityhockey.com

$3

“You know Cris, some men can go more than twice in a row!!”

The following is an actual email I sent to Tom O’Grady, Executive Pro-ducer of Gameday Presentation.Dear Mr. O’Grady, Good day, sir. My name is Sam Fels, and I am one-half of the Blackhawks Blog Second City Hockey (Ed. note- I didn’t want to mention I write this for fear that the Hawks organization may want to “kick it old school” and make my life a living hell outside the UC). I am writing to you today because I feel I have a pretty good feel for the pulse of Hawks fans, and there’s an issue which is grating on all of us. I feel it is my duty as a spokesman for Hawks fans everywhere to communicate to you our feelings. It’s our goal song, Mr. O’Grady. Frankly, it sucks. I’m sorry to use such a coarse term, but there simply is no other way around it. Believe me, I’ve heard it described in much worse tones, including some that made children cry. But making more children cry is the goal song. I’m not sure what you were going for here. Happy? Okay, I guess. But this is happy in the way that guy in your office who’s always cheerful. Do you know what people want to do to that guy? Pull out his esophagus. Nobody likes the stupidly-happy guy. And that’s what the Fratellis’ song you’ve chosen is. A goal-song should be loud, jarring, raucous, euphoric. After all, this is celebrating a moment that only happens a few times a night. A goal is an event, a jarring event. The song you’ve chosen isn’t loud, or contain any attitude whatsoever. This is hockey; it’s all attitude. A hockey goal song should make you want drink beer and spill it down your chest. It should produce adrenaline. Your current song makes me want to drink tea,

and ponder my emotions. There are plenty of examples of good goal-songs around the league. The Rangers use an original composition that provides a sing-along part, which I think is what you were going for. But theirs contains power chords and drips with spunk. Yours drips with poodle turds.

If you don’t want to go that route, you could copy some other teams. Both Philly and Anaheim use Pennywise’s “Bro Hymn,” which also has a sing-along chorus-thing. That’s not bad, but we’d like to be original. So we have some suggestions. Personally, I would love to use Pantera’s “Walk”. I understand if you think this might scare mothers; heaven forbid their kid listens to anything dangerous, i.e fun. But you could still be dorky, as you are now, if you changed the chorus to “Re’...spect! Hawks!” If you want to go really underground, frequent contribu-tor Matt McClure is clamoring for you to use Naked Ray-gun’s “Soldier’s Requiem.” They’re even a Chicago band. But we understand if you would like to go with something

a little more user-friendly, and well known. How about “Pump It Up,” either Elvis Costello’s or the Mudhoney cover? “Search and Destroy” by the Stooges? These are perfect. Or you know what, Mr. O’Grady? You don’t even need a goal song. Most fans have expressed a desire for Frank Pelico to just play Here Come the Hawks, or whatever he feels. We don’t need a song to make us feel excited. Whatever you decide, sir, this song has to go. We’re the laughingstock of NHL fans. We deserve better. Please, listen, and lose it.Oh, and can the Hawks hit the ice to “Youth Gone Wild” again?

FROM THE EDITOR

Sam Fels

NHL STANDINGS

W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY 1 Boston 42 12 9 93 215 142 21-4-5 21-8-4 2 Washington 40 18 5 85 211 182 25-6-1 15-12-4 3 New Jersey 40 19 3 83 193 153 21-10-1 19-9-2 4 Philadelphia 33 17 10 76 198 175 18-8-4 15-9-6 5 Montreal 34 22 7 75 194 189 20-6-4 14-16-3 6 NY Rangers 32 24 8 72 159 175 19-10-4 13-14-4 7 Florida 31 23 8 70 171 173 17-8-5 14-15-3 8 Buffalo 31 25 7 69 182 175 17-12-2 14-13-5 9 Carolina 32 27 5 69 169 186 17-13-1 15-14-4 10 Pittsburgh 31 26 6 68 191 195 17-12-2 14-14-4 11 Toronto 25 26 12 62 191 227 11-11-8 14-15-4 12 Ottawa 23 28 10 56 152 176 13-11-6 10-17-4 13 Tampa Bay 20 30 12 52 156 198 11-12-8 9-18-4 14 Atlanta 23 34 6 52 188 221 11-17-2 12-17-4 15 NY Islanders 19 36 7 45 150 204 13-13-5 6-23-2

W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY 1 San Jose 42 10 9 93 205 148 26-2-3 16-8-6 2 Red Shite 41 14 8 90 234 187 24-4-3 17-10-5 3 Calgary 37 18 6 80 195 175 22-7-4 15-11-2 4 HAWKS 34 17 9 77 201 153 15-5-6 19-12-3 5 Vancouver 31 22 8 70 183 174 15-11-4 16-11-4 6 Columbus 31 25 6 68 167 173 19-10-2 12-15-4 7 Anaheim 31 28 5 67 180 188 15-13-3 16-15-2 8 Nashville 31 28 4 66 159 172 19-11-2 12-17-2 9 Minnesota* 30 25 5 65 153 141 18-11-5 12-14-0 10 Edmonton* 30 26 5 65 170 186 14-12-4 16-14-1 11 Dallas 29 25 7 65 178 187 17-11-4 12-14-3 12 St. Louis* 27 26 8 62 170 180 16-11-5 11-15-3 13 Los Angeles 26 26 9 61 158 175 13-13-8 13-13-1 14 Phoenix* 27 30 5 59 158 190 17-12-2 10-18-3 15 Colorado 28 34 1 57 169 200 17-14-0 11-20-1

PUCK DROP

Eastern Conference Western Conference

TOP 10 LIST

Top 5 Reasons We Hate Afternoon Hockey5. Do you have any idea how late we were out last night?4. Sunlight tends to...well, kills us3. Arena full of kids means we get dirty looks from parents after we let loose the string of obscenities that watching Buff skate causes2. If we start drinking at 2pm Sunday, Monday morning will be hell1. Does West Madison really look good in the light?

Top 5 Reasons We Love Afternoon Hockey5. Straight from the call girl’s place to the UC without showering4. Gets us out of whatever “brunch” is. Seriously, brunch? What is this, New York?3. If we start drinking at 2pm Sunday, Sunday night will be interest-ing2. Teaching kids how to properly call Frolov “fuckwad”1. Hair of the dog and hockey!

Michal Handzus, a.k.a Ol’ Dump In His Pants, C, Los Angeles: What was your favorite moment of the Handzus in Chicago era? All eight games of it, that is. If you want to know why we’ve dubbed him thusly, watch #26 skate today. He moves around the ice as if he just

soiled himself. Maybe he did, and that might explain why it’s so hard to knock him off the puck. Who the fuck wants to get that close to him? Anyway, Zeus chased the money out to LA, where he’s been what he’s always been, a pretty solid center, but an overpaid one at $4 million. Would have been nice to see what he and Havlat could have done together if either could have stayed healthy.

*late game not included

Chicago Blackhawks 34-17-9

# Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary (Cap Hit)

88 R Patrick Kane 5'10" 187 20 58 20 35 55 1 36 10 0 3 180 11.1 $3,725,000

24 R The Perfect Beard 6'2" 217 27 60 20 33 53 19 22 5 0 3 182 11 $6,000,000

19 C Captain Marvel 6'2" 209 20 60 25 27 52 12 41 9 0 6 153 16.3 $2,800,000

32 L VerStud 5'10" 180 22 57 16 28 44 14 49 4 4 2 94 17 $491,667

51 D 51 Phantom 6'0" 188 29 60 7 34 41 6 18 4 0 1 78 9 $7,142,875

10 L The Sharp-Shooter* 6'1" 197 27 54 23 15 38 2 39 8 0 4 163 14.1 $3,900,000

36 C Dave Bolland 6'0" 188 22 60 14 23 37 20 34 0 2 4 85 16.5 $845,833

16 L Nails 6'2" 198 23 60 10 25 35 23 22 0 0 1 141 7.1 $1,550,000

2 D Duncan Keith 6'1" 194 25 56 7 25 32 30 36 2 1 1 114 6.1 $1,475,000

25 D Cam Barker 6'3" 213 22 47 4 26 30 -2 49 4 0 1 62 6.5 $2,768,587

33 R Dustin Byfuglien 6'3" 247 23 55 10 12 22 -1 66 3 0 2 147 6.8 $3,000,000

22 R Troy Brouwer 6'2" 213 23 51 8 14 22 13 46 3 1 0 97 8.2 $675,000

7 D Brent Seabrook 6'3" 220 23 60 5 11 16 18 47 2 1 0 99 5.1 $3,500,000

46 C Colin Fraser 6'1" 188 23 60 5 10 15 7 46 0 0 0 44 11.4 $500,000

55 L Ben Eager 6'2" 220 24 56 10 4 14 9 116 0 0 0 60 16.7 $568,000

43 D James Wisniewski 6'0" 207 24 29 2 11 13 8 14 1 0 0 67 3 $900,000

8 D Matt Walker 6'3" 214 28 48 1 9 10 14 60 0 0 0 62 1.6 $600,000

37 R Adam Burish 6'1" 189 26 44 5 3 8 7 69 0 0 2 65 7.7 $712,500

23 D Aaron Johnson 6'1" 211 25 28 3 5 8 18 24 0 0 1 20 15 $600,000

28 R Craig Adams 6'0" 197 31 36 2 4 6 -3 22 1 0 0 38 5.3 $600,000

5 D Brent Sopel * 6'1" 211 32 23 1 1 2 -4 8 0 0 1 15 6.7 $2,333,333

11 R Jack Skille 6'1" 208 21 7 1 0 1 -3 5 0 0 0 12 8.3 $1,275,000

Totals/Averages 6'1" 203.75 24.38 199 355 873 56 9 1981 10.05% $44,119,795

# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary

39 Nikolai Khabibulin 6'1" 209 36 29 1673 2.37 17 5 5 1 870 66 0.924 0 2 6 $6,750,000

38 Cristobal Huet 6'1" 205 33 33 1884 2.32 17 12 3 3 863 73 0.915 0 0 2 $5,625,000

31 Antii Niemi 6’2” 204 25 34 1924 2.4 17 12 3 3 885 77 0.913 0 0 2 $488,000

Totals/Averages 6'1" 207 34 1 22 2.73 0 0 1 0 6 1 0.833 0 0 0 $12,375,000

TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $57,283,000

CAP SPACE: $274,000**space also affected by buyouts and injured players

16 years ago, David Stern sent me to ruin the NHL. I have done every-thing I can think of to drive the core

fan away, strip hockey of all that’s great about it, and eliminate any at-tention by the mainstream media...

I am so close to completing the task Stern charged me with....

*injured

Injury ListBrentSopel-Out(Talent)PatrickSharp-Out(Knee)NikolaiKhabibulin-Questionable(groin?)

Probable LinesLeft Wing Center Right Wing

22Brouwer 19Toews 88Kane16Ladd 36Bolland 24Havlat

33Byfuglien 32Versteeg 11Skille37Burish 46Fraser 55Eager

Probable Pairings2Keith 7Seabrook

51Campbell 8Walker43Wisniewski 25Barker

On Hockey Night In Canada last night, Al Strachan reported (so take it with at least three grains of salt) that Coach Q and Campbell are having their differences, so while the Hawks aren’t shopping Soupy, they won’t hang up on you either. It’s extremely unlikely that anyone would take that contract, though we’d love the space. Campell has definitely had a hand in the power play’s turnaround, and his exit would leave only Keith with any sort of speed from the blue line. But it’s clear Q isn’t enamored, as he booted 51 off the first PP unit on Friday, and hasn’t played him on the PK in months. Though the flexibility is tantalizing, the precedent of shipping out a free-agent signing mere months after bringing him in will leave the Hawks with a rep that will make future free agents think twice, or saddle the Hawks with cumbersome no-trade clauses. Stay tuned.

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# Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary (Cap Hit)

11 C Anze Kopitar "A" 6' 3" 219 21 61 19 31 50 -16 20 7 1 3 179 10.6 $956,000

23 R Dustin Brown "C" 6' 0" 207 24 59 23 25 48 -6 54 7 0 5 241 9.5 $3,175,000

24 R Alexander Frolov 6' 2" 204 26 61 26 20 46 -2 22 11 1 1 135 19.3 $2,900,000

28 C Jarret Stoll 6' 0" 214 26 61 15 21 36 5 54 7 0 0 127 11.8 $3,600,000

12 L Patrick O'Sullivan 5' 11" 190 24 60 14 22 36 1 16 2 1 1 197 7.1 $2,925,000

27 D Kyle Quincey 6' 2" 207 23 58 3 30 33 0 47 2 0 2 124 2.4 $514,000

26 C Michal Handzus 6' 4" 218 31 61 11 17 28 -8 22 3 1 3 108 10.2 $4,000,000

19 L Kyle Calder 5' 11" 177 30 56 7 14 21 0 33 2 0 1 73 9.6 $2,700,000

8 D Drew Doughty 6' 1" 203 19 60 4 14 18 -8 42 2 0 1 98 4.1 $3,475,000

17 R Wayne Simmonds 6' 2" 181 20 61 5 9 14 -7 48 1 0 1 90 5.6 $822,000

9 C Oscar Moller 5' 11" 180 20 31 6 7 13 -2 14 5 0 0 62 9.7 $786,000

5 D Peter Harrold 5' 11" 188 25 53 3 8 11 -10 20 1 0 0 77 3.9 $583,000

6 D Sean O'Donnell 6' 2" 230 37 61 0 10 10 4 56 0 0 0 22 0 $1,250,000

2 D Matt Greene "A" 6' 4" 234 25 61 1 9 10 -2 95 0 0 0 56 1.8 $1,150,000

54 R Teddy Purcell 6' 3" 202 23 20 1 6 7 -2 2 0 0 0 29 3.4 $63,900

42 D Tom Preissing ** 6' 0" 197 30 22 3 4 7 -7 6 2 0 0 40 7.5 $2,750,000

7 C Derek Armstrong 6' 0" 197 35 37 4 1 5 -12 51 1 0 1 28 14.3 $1,500,000

15 C Brad Richardson 5' 11" 184 24 23 0 4 4 -4 11 0 0 0 29 0 $588,000

3 D Jack Johnson 6' 1" 225 22 20 3 1 4 -12 29 2 0 0 27 11.1 $2,150,000

21 D Denis Gauthier Jr. 6' 2" 220 32 49 1 2 3 -8 60 0 0 0 29 3.4 $1,931,000

41 L Raitis Ivanans 6' 4" 256 30 60 2 0 2 -7 115 0 0 2 20 10 $600,000

13 R John Zeiler 6' 0" 204 26 23 0 0 0 -3 37 0 0 0 2 0 $702,000

Team Totals/Averages 6’ 1” 206.23 26.0 154 258 412 876 55 4 1833 8.40% $39,120,900

...IS THIS THE YEAR?

# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary

32 Jonathan Quick 6' 1" 216 23 24 1254 2.49 8 9 4 0 525 52 0.901 0 0 2 $488,000

31 Erik Ersberg 6' 0" 168 26 26 1447 2.49 13 9 1 3 699 60 0.914 0 1 0 $700,000

Team Totals/Averages 6' 2" 186 27 3593 2.75 26 26 9 5 1663 159 0.904 0 1 4 $1,188,000

TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $44,149,000

CAP SPACE: $12,551,000**space also affected by buyouts and injured players

Hell Damn Ass Kings 26-26-9

** injured

Injury ListTomPreissing-Out(Head)RaitisIvanans-Questionable(UpperBody)

Probable LinesLeft Wing Center Right Wing

23Brown 11Kopitar 24Frolov12O’Sullivan 26Handzus 17Simmonds19Calder 28Stoll 54Purcell41Ivanans 7Armstrong

Probable Pairings8Doughty 3Johnson27Quincey 21Gauthier2Greene 6O’Donnell5Harrold

One reason the Kings have given the Hawks so much trouble is that they’ve drilled them in the face-off circle. They’ve gone 81 for 121 in the two game, for a paltry winning pct. of 66%

Johnson has been woeful at even-strength, but he’s been their best player with the man-advantage, according to Behind The Net.

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This has been dropping ever since the Labarbera trade to Vancouver. Quick has been almost half a goal better than Labarbera.

Letters to The EditorDude, Your program rocks. You’re officially one of Hell’s most psy-chotic devils. May the maggots in your eyes eat your brain and shit them out your ears. I hope you burn and cough and choke and tear for the rest of humanity. Rock on. Sincerely,James Wisniewski

To Sam. Your book is good. Jonathan Toews.

Dear Editor, Really really really like your pro-gram “The Omitted Finland”. I love how you come up with whacky nick-names like Captian Hilarious, Harp Looter, and 23 Skiddoo. And boy does the word Asshat take me back. Reminds me of Karpotsev. Anyway, Stan, just thought I’d drop you a line and say keep up the good work. Sincerely, Pat FoleyBlackhawk announcer

Dear Mr. Fels, I’ve recently been made aware of your magazine and all the harsh criti-cism you’ve thrown my way. While I may not agree with everything you say, I am intrigued by some of your thoughts. I would like to buy a subscription to your newsletter at no less than 4 million dollars and have it count against next years cap. I’m gonna run off Duncan Keith if it’s the last thing I do. And it probably will be. Sincerely,Dale Tallon

Dear Editors of The Committed Indian, Thanks to you, my 9-year old son has been running around calling everyone and everything “fuck-wad.” How dare you sell your filthy little rag to a child? Have you no decency, sirs? My son claims his father gave it to him, but surely no one as mature and upstanding as my husband would do such a thing.

Sincerely,Janice ThompsonHighland Park, IL

*big ups to Adam for helping out with this.

Dear Sam,Your program is the best. I had to Stop It Right Here the first time I read it! Now I look like I was shot out of a cannon when I run to buy it! I tell ya, you guys really have stick-on-stick, stick-on-puck! Get me the next one EEEEEMEDIATELY!

Yours,Eddie Olczyk

Dear Sam,

Uh, will you buy us beers?

Sincerely,Josh Harris, 16-year old Hawks fan.

Dear Mr. Fels, I was recently showed your “Ask The Ice Crew” section, and I think it’s important to inform you that I am not Russian, but Argentinian. You’re not even close. I mean, you missed by an entire fucking ocean! And hemisphere! You couldn’t be more off if you drove your car off a cliff while putting a dildo in your ear and singing Ratt songs. Sincerely,Yanina of The Ice Crew

Dear Sam,I spent over $200k on your educa-tion, and all I got was a moron standing in the cold and a dumbass photoshop of John McDonough bragging about his “hot white mouth sanitizer”.

Mr. Obama, where’s my bailout?

Sincerely,Your mother

Dear Josh,

Fuck and yes.

Sincerely,Sam

What To Watch For: More than recent Hawks games. The Kings are an unpleasant bunch to play against, they finish their checks and never stop being in your face. They have a few players who have sampled knuckles on more than one occasion.

Greene, Armstrong, Simmonds all could go, and we haven’t gotten to resident mongaloid Ivanans. Could get one today..

Team Opp PPG PP%DET 275 76 27.6WSH 265 65 24.5SJS 274 67 24.4BOS 245 56 22.9PHI 234 52 22.2

ANA 242 53 21.9CHI 264 56 21.2BUF 279 58 20.8STL 260 54 20.8MIN 248 50 20.2ATL 255 51 20LAK 276 55 19.9NJD 226 45 19.9TOR 259 51 19.7VAN 266 50 18.8

Team OPP PPG PP%OTT 251 47 18.7MTL 286 53 18.5CGY 270 49 18.2EDM 278 47 16.9NYI 250 42 16.8TBL 265 44 16.6COL 255 42 16.5DAL 263 43 16.4PIT 271 44 16.2

CAR 292 46 15.8FLA 237 35 14.8PHX 259 36 13.9NYR 260 36 13.8NSH 249 34 13.6CBJ 263 33 12.6

Power PlayTeam TS PPGA PK%MIN 219 27 87.7NYR 252 32 87.3CGY 267 36 86.5NSH 274 44 83.9BUF 252 41 83.7SJS 238 40 83.2BOS 231 39 83.1STL 271 46 83PHI 303 52 82.8MTL 284 49 82.8FLA 248 43 82.7NYI 268 47 82.5NJD 245 44 82LAK 266 48 82OTT 260 48 81.5

Team TS PPGA PK%CBJ 256 48 81.2CHI 255 49 80.8TBL 306 61 80.1WSH 309 62 79.9PIT 258 52 79.8

ANA 312 63 79.8DAL 233 48 79.4CAR 236 49 79.2COL 240 50 79.2VAN 277 58 79.1PHX 227 49 78.4EDM 262 58 77.9DET 258 58 77.5TOR 239 60 74.9ATL 271 69 74.5

Penalty Kill

GAME FIGHT TIME Bloody Nose

Black Eye

Bruised Ego

Just Dancing

Analysis

11-29-08 Fraser vs.Simmonds

1st.18:05 √ A spirited if not eventful bout. Fraser

lands some nice shots early, Simmonds some late, and Dan Bernstein uses this

as evidence that hockey players and fans are racist.

11-29-08 Walker vs.Ivanans

1st.1:58 √ √ A day after taking on Parros, Walker

encounters SoCal’s other slob, and lands some solid rights. Walks in a decision.

2-23-08 Seabrook v.Brown

2nd.3:57 √ Brown charges from San Diego to hit

Toews, and Seabrook responds with some nice rights before a quick take-

down.

1-1-08 Koci v.Ivanans

2nd.4:04 √ √ Two people who don’t matter wail on

each other for a bit.

HAWKS vs. KINGSFight Stats provided by Hockeyfights.com

The Fight Card

Spotlight

Dustin Brown

We wouldn’t be shocked if Dustin Brown also slobbers during games. Those of us in real hockey markets always end up furious that a player like Brown plays in a non-hockey market, where he clearly isn’t appreciated. Surely if Brown played here, he would be everyone’s favorite Hawk. Brown does everything so high-octane, L.A. coke dealers are tired of the calls from customers telling them they want whatever Brown’s on. He is always the most noticeable player on the ice. He’s either taking a shot, barreling to the net, or barreling over someone. He’s a fucking pinball. Brown has never seen a hit or a shot he didn’t think was worth taking. He leads the Kings in shots by over 40, and in hits by over 70. Brown has gotten better every year, and he very well may be playing on the other wing opposite Patrick Kane on Team USA’s second line at next year’s Olympics. Here’s yet another player that Bettman and his marketing cronies would be wise to get out there, instead of ped-dling the cold steak that is Sidney Crosby. Brown is young, fast, skilled, would run over his girlfriend to get to the net, and a leader. He was named Kings’ Captain at the beginning of the year, and will be the centerpiece -- along with Kopitar -- of their franchise for a long time. He’s the total package, as he can play any style of game, and the type of player the NHL should ac-centuate, but sadly, hasn’t.

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KNOW THY ENEMY

Hawks-Kings: the Last 4

Jan. 29th, 2009: Hawks 2, Kings 5This will be a continuing theme: Hawks don’t

bother with an effort against a team they feel is be-neath them, and it’s too late when they get it going.

We hear Randy Newman too many times.

Nov. 29th, 2008: Hawks 2, Kings 5See Jan. 29th.

Feb. 23rd, 2008: Hawks 6, Kings 5 (OT)Same pattern in reverse. Hawks jump out to 5-1 lead after two, go into pathetic shell and cough it up in last minute. Sharp saves some blushes by winning it in OT, but this was still a stupid occa-

sion.

Jan. 1st, 2008: Hawks 2, Kings 9Toews gets hurt, Hawks’ season never recovers.

Didn’t exactly help the hangover from New Year’s Eve, did it?

This afternoon, Matt from from Life In Hockeywood (www.lifeinhock-eywood.com) joins us to fill us in on the Southland Hockey Club.

Q: You guys are making a pretty decent run at the playoffs, when you were picked to be bringing up the rear. How has this happened?A: After last season, the Kings could really go nowhere but up. The Kings have been stockpiling talent in the minors, and continue to do so. It’s Dean Lom-bardi’s belief that you must rebuild a franchise from the inside out, and he’s doing this. That kind of tinkering takes time. Some fan estimates give Dean a 5-year window that the Kings will seriously contend for the Cup. Depending on who you talk to, this is either Year Two or Three. Seeing that he came in 2006 and it’s 2009... you do the math. The fact of the matter is: they are ahead of the curve. These players are hungry now, and want to win now. You get enough young, hungry talent together and sooner or later, you’re gonna get a team that wants to compete, odds be damned. That is what the Kings are this season. It’s quite refreshing to see.Getting Drew Doughty has made a huge difference. Potential can only get you so far in the NHL. If you have what it takes, you’ll produce on the ice. It happened with Kopitar a few seasons back out of camp, and it’s happened again. You listen to some fans, and they’ll say Doughty is the second coming of Christ. But realis-tically, he has got the skills to become an All-Star defenseman for years to come. And I firmly believe he should win the Calder Trophy this season. I believe in it so much that I wrote a blog about it... (blatant blog pimping!!!) http://lifeinhock-eywood.com/2009/01/04/calder2.aspx Getting Quincey has been a godsend as well. Thanks Detroit.Obviously, Marc Crawford didn’t have Quincey and Doughty to play with, but what has Terry Murray done differently this season?Coach Murray really has focused of the defensive aspect of the Kings. This team is built around young talent, many of which haven’t been taught in intricancies of playing defense at the NHL level. They have always been able to score, last season they were ranked middle of the league in goals. This season, their scoring is down, but their two-way game has picked up. Case in point: Anze Kopitar. The Slovenian player’s points have dropped considerably, but he’s chipping in other ways that you don’t see on the stat sheet, which, unfortunately too many fans worry about. He’s become pretty good defensively, and as soon as his on-ice conditioning improves, he’ll return to form. It’s a hard thing to teach these young players better habits. It’s slow, but they are responding.We saw enough of Jonathan Quick the last time we played. Is he the longtime answer in goal? Is Ersberg? Or is there another possibility?God, this is a toughie. How many teams can you say would be better with a bet-ter goaltender? The Kings have had crap, honestly, the last few years. Then this year, the herd was still being culled when Johnny Quick was brought up. And he’s played remarkable. As far as I’m concerned, the job is Quick’s until some-one else makes a case. I like Iceberg as well, but Quick is that much better.Next season, we should see a more determined Jonathan Bernier out of train-

ing camp, and challenge Quick for that starter’s spot. This which will make the team that much better. Believe me, as a Kings fan, we’ve been waiting a long time to have this kind of problem. There’s nothing wrong with having too many goaltenders, right?Jack Johnson has had his struggles this season, along with injuries. What’s the forecast for his career?The hype is he’s going to be the next Ray Bourque. The reality is, and I’m just spitballing here, is that JMFJ will not sign a long-term deal with the Kings. He played at Michigan, he bleeds red and white and his heart is in Detroit. I’m sure he’d love to play for them some day. So, while he’ll be a gamer in L.A. and give his all, his stint in L.A. may already be predetermined. Personally, I’m hoping he and Doughty hit it off and become the wickedest blueline ever. But I think he’ll give Detroit a hometown discount and sign there. I really do.We have loved Dustin Brown for years, though good lord has he been a pain in our ass at times. Only now is he just getting the pub he deserves. You guys watch him every night, is he that ace?Dustin Brown is the real deal. But, he was given a lot of responsibility this season, handed the reins as the youngest captain in franchise history. He’s now going to need to bring the same intensity in the locker room as he does on the ice. That could prove to be exhausting. Dustin, as is the case with many players, is far different off the ice than on. He’s quite reserved in person, very polite. But you get him on the ice, and he hits everything in the different jersey. It’s going to take a season or two for him to really grab this team and make it his own. But he might not even get that. Kopitar has shown signs of becom-ing a solid captain as well, in this his first season as an alternate. He often is the last to leave the ice and really fills that cheerleader role a great captain can do. If Kopitar winds up taking the C from Brown, the last thing you’ll see is Dustin get pissed. In a way, he can now focus on what he does best: play vicious hockey on the ice. And I think that might suit him more. The editor of this worthless rag spent last season in Los Angeles, and was surprised as how knowledgeable and passionate Kings fans are, while being equally sickened by the idiocy found in Anaheim. What’s it like living in the same town (sort of) with those tools?When those dreaded Ducks hoisted the Cup, the pain was excruiating. All those years of making fun of them was known shot back by those hardcore fans. Good thing there wasn’t too many of them. Anaheim has a huge bandwagon fanbase, so it still was fun making fun of these fans in their crispy-ironed jerseys. Plus, the new jerseys look like a giant Spork! They just can’t look cool either way.I wrote a blog about those kind of Ducks fans (more blatant blog pimping!!!) http://lifeinhockeywood.com/2007/06/06/how-to-deal-with-those-kind-of-ducks-fans.aspx. It sums up just how stupid these fans really are. There are some real knowledgable Ducks fans, but they are few and far between . It does kill me to see that Stanley Cup banner up there in their rafters. It should kill every hockey fan. But they got one before the Kings, and that’s what matters.

NAME QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 GFON/60 GAON/60 +-ON/60 GFOFF/60 GAOFF/60 +-OFF/60 RATING

Aaron Johnson -0.04 -0.07 11.78 4 1.27 2.73 2.17 1.78 0.4 2.33

Andrew Ladd 0.11 0.1 12.77 3.58 1.99 1.59 2.46 2 0.47 1.13

Adam Burish -0.08 0.13 7.13 2.94 1.17 1.76 2.78 2.08 0.7 1.06

Ben Eager -0.11 0.01 8.07 2.7 1.22 1.49 2.86 2.07 0.79 0.7

Matt Walker -0.03 -0.07 13.74 2.97 1.67 1.3 2.56 1.92 0.64 0.66

Duncan Keith 0.09 -0.01 18.42 3.14 1.89 1.24 2.79 2.18 0.61 0.64

Dave Bolland 0.12 0.2 12.49 3.42 2.2 1.22 2.54 1.92 0.62 0.6

Martin Havlat 0.07 0.1 13.47 3.4 2.26 1.13 2.52 1.88 0.64 0.49

Colin Fraser -0.11 0.05 7.73 2.63 1.45 1.18 2.81 2.11 0.7 0.48

Troy Brouwer 0.01 -0.19 11.47 2.51 1.36 1.15 2.84 2.07 0.77 0.38

James Wisniewski -0.01 0 14.45 2.52 1.48 1.04 2.84 2.08 0.76 0.28

Kris Versteeg 0.04 -0.22 12.33 2.78 2.17 0.61 2.83 2.02 0.81 -0.2

Jonathan Toews 0.03 -0.17 13.14 2.94 2.32 0.62 2.71 1.86 0.85 -0.23

Brent Seabrook 0.1 0.2 16.65 2.44 1.89 0.55 2.97 2.05 0.92 -0.37

Patrick Kane 0.04 -0.14 13.96 2.64 2.34 0.3 2.67 1.9 0.77 -0.47

Brian Campbell -0.02 -0.03 17.55 2.84 2.38 0.46 2.74 1.75 0.99 -0.52

Patrick Sharp -0.02 -0.03 13.25 2.52 2.26 0.25 2.9 1.83 1.07 -0.82

Dustin Byfuglien -0.01 0 11.99 1.95 1.76 0.19 3.19 2.15 1.04 -0.86

Cam Barker -0.04 -0.04 13.38 2.44 2.63 -0.2 2.86 1.61 1.25 -1.45

Craig Adams -0.14 0.13 8.05 1.28 1.7 -0.43 3.15 1.98 1.17 -1.6

Jack Skille -0.03 0.21 8.9 0.96 3.85 -2.89 2.89 3.37 -0.48 -2.41

Hockey SabermetricsCHICAGO

Every game, we provide you with the Behind The Net numbers. These are at even strength, 5-on-5. Key: QUALCOMP- A measure of the quality of competition each player faces on the ice. Calculated by averaging +/-/60 for opponents on the ice against player. QUALTEAM- A measure of the quality of teammates each player plays with. Calcu-lated by averaging +/-/60 for teammates on ice with player. TOI/60- Time on ice, per 60 minutes, that player spends on ice at full-strength. GFON/60, GAON/60- Goals for and against team per 60 min. player is on ice +/-ON/60- Team’s Plus/minus, per 60 minutes, while player is on ice. +/-OFF/60- Plus/minus of team while player is off ice, per 60 minutes. RATING- +/-ON/60 subtracted by +/-OFF/60.

Player GFON/60

Cam Barker 10.23

Patrick Sharp 8.61

James Wisniewski 7.83

Patrick Kane 7.49

Jonathan Toews 7.2

Dustin Byfuglien 7.1

Troy Brouwer 6.45

Brian Campbell 6.45

Duncan Keith 6.37

Martin Havlat 6.24

Kris Versteeg 6.11

Brent Seabrook 6.01

Player GA/60Andrew Ladd 4.22

Adam Burish 4.5

Brent Seabrook 5.22

Aaron Johnson 5.42

Duncan Keith 5.57

Brent Sopel 6.43

Colin Fraser 6.66

Matt Walker 6.95

James Wisniewski 7.26

Kris Versteeg 7.66

Dave Bolland 7.67

Cam Barker 9.65

Power Play RatingsThis is a measure of a team’s

goals-for per 60 minutes of player being on the ice on the power play.

Penalty Kill RatingsThis measures how many goals a team gives up per 60 minutes the

player is on the ice on the PK.

Corsi RatingShots attempted for a team vs. how many are attempted against while a given player is on

the ice, per 60 min.

NAME CORSIJames Wisniewski 22.8

Jonathan Toews 15.1

Martin Havlat 14.6

Troy Brouwer 13.1

Adam Burish 12.5

Brian Campbell 12.4

Andrew Ladd 12

Patrick Sharp 11.9

Patrick Kane 11.5

Brent Seabrook 11.2

Duncan Keith 11.1

Kris Versteeg 10.9

Cam Barker 10.2

Dustin Byfuglien 10

Dave Bolland 9.4

Aaron Johnson 8.9

Ben Eager 8.2

Matt Walker 6.8

Colin Fraser 4.6

Craig Adams -0.2

Penalties Drawn vs. Taken

NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60

Jack Skille 4.8 0

Kris Versteeg 1.6 0.7

Adam Burish 1.4 1

Ben Eager 1.4 2.6

Colin Fraser 1.4 0.5

Patrick Kane 1.4 1.1

Patrick Sharp 1.4 0.9

Dave Bolland 1.3 0.6

Craig Adams 1.3 0.9

Andrew Ladd 1.2 0.6

Troy Brouwer 1.2 0.9

Martin Havlat 1.1 0.6

Dustin Byfuglien 1 1.4

Jonathan Toews 0.9 0.7

James Wisniewski 0.7 0.7

Brian Campbell 0.5 0.4

Aaron Johnson 0.4 2

Matt Walker 0.4 0.6

Duncan Keith 0.2 0.8

Brent Seabrook 0.2 0.9

Face-offsPlayer Face-Offs Taken FO%

Jonathan Toews 937 53.4

Colin Fraser 621 47.0

Patrick Sharp 556 46.0

Kris Versteeg 197 44.2

Dave Bolland 873 43.8

Total Rank: 28th 46.9

Hockey Sabermetrics

Player GAON/60

Jarret Stoll 2.6

Jack Johnson 4.17

P. O'Sullivan 4.5

Matt Greene 5.13

Dustin Brown 5.21

Tom Preissing 5.33

Drew Doughty 5.53

Sean O'Donnell 5.86

Denis Gauthier 6.17

Kyle Quincey 6.68

Michal Handzus 7

Power Play RatingsThis is a measure of a team’s goals for per 60 minutes of player being

on the ice on the power play.

Penalty Kill RatingsThis measures how many goals a team gives up per 60 minutes the player is on the ice on the

Corsi RatingThis measures how many shots are attempted

for a team vs. how many are attempted against while a given player is on the ice, per 60 min.

NAME CORSIAnze Kopitar 13.1

Kyle Quincey 11.3

Patrick O'Sullivan 10.9

Tom Preissing 10.4

Kyle Calder 9.7

Edward Purcell 8.8

Dustin Brown 7.6

Oscar Moller 7.6

Peter Harrold 7.3

Jarret Stoll 5.8

Alex Frolov 4.8

Drew Doughty 3.1

Derek Armstrong 2.7

Sean O'Donnell 2.5

Matt Greene 2.5

Denis Gauthier 1.7

Wayne Simmonds 1.5

Michal Handzus -4.3

Raitis Ivanans -7.4

Jack Johnson -8.8

Penalties Drawn vs. Taken

Pretty self-explanatory. A measure of penalties drawn vs. taken, per 60 min.

NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60

Dustin Brown 3.5 0.8

Patrick O'Sullivan 1.9 0.4

Oscar Moller 1.4 0.8

Anze Kopitar 1.3 0.3

Raitis Ivanans 1.3 3.5

Derek Armstrong 1.3 2.1

Kyle Calder 1.2 1

Edward Purcell 0.9 0.3

Michal Handzus 0.9 0.6

Jarret Stoll 0.8 1.9

Alex Frolov 0.7 0.7

Wayne Simmonds 0.6 0.9

Peter Harrold 0.6 0.8

Denis Gauthier 0.6 1.3

Drew Doughty 0.5 1

Matt Greene 0.4 1.6

Jack Johnson 0.4 1.5

Kyle Quincey 0.2 1.1

Sean O'Donnell 0.1 0.5

Face-offsPlayer Face-Offs Taken FO%

Jarret Stoll 861 57.1

Michal Handzus 975 53.6

Derek Armstrong 150 52.7

Anze Kopitar 1016 50.9

Total: Rank: 4th 52.5

Player GFON/60

Jack Johnson 10.28

Michal Handzus 9.65

Kyle Quincey 9.5

Alex Frolov 9.42

Jarret Stoll 9.09

Peter Harrold 7.99

Dustin Brown 5.87

Patrick O'Sullivan 4.84

Drew Doughty 4.71

Anze Kopitar 4.51

Tom Preissing 4.48

NAME QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 GFON/60 GAON/60 +-ON/60 GFOFF/60 GAOFF/60 +-OFF/60 RATING

Jarret Stoll -0.03 0.13 11.09 2.39 1.77 0.62 1.81 2.55 -0.74 1.36

Sean O'Donnell 0.04 -0.07 15.84 2.17 1.8 0.37 1.83 2.66 -0.83 1.2

Patrick O'Sullivan -0.03 -0.11 13.43 2.68 2.46 0.22 1.68 2.3 -0.61 0.84

Kyle Calder -0.05 0.16 11.8 2 1.82 0.18 1.88 2.4 -0.53 0.71

Kyle Quincey -0.04 -0.01 15.28 2.3 2.23 0.07 1.81 2.38 -0.57 0.64

Matt Greene 0.01 0 16.38 1.92 2.1 -0.18 1.97 2.5 -0.53 0.35

Dustin Brown -0.02 0.17 13.51 2.94 3.16 -0.23 1.62 2.08 -0.46 0.24

Oscar Moller -0.04 0.11 9.99 1.74 1.74 0 2.22 2.33 -0.11 0.11

Alex Frolov 0.03 0.05 13.41 2.2 2.64 -0.44 1.85 2.23 -0.38 -0.06

Edward Purcell -0.07 0.1 9.59 1.56 2.19 -0.63 1.35 1.85 -0.5 -0.12

Wayne Simmonds 0.04 -0.03 12.05 1.14 1.63 -0.49 2.26 2.62 -0.37 -0.12

Michal Handzus 0.04 0 11.76 1.76 2.34 -0.59 2.03 2.36 -0.33 -0.25

Drew Doughty 0.02 0.16 16.28 2.15 2.7 -0.55 1.89 2.1 -0.21 -0.34

Peter Harrold -0.08 -0.3 10.25 1.1 1.88 -0.77 2.06 2.43 -0.37 -0.41

Anze Kopitar 0.01 0.2 14.27 2.55 3.24 -0.69 1.67 1.93 -0.26 -0.43

Denis Gauthier -0.13 -0.27 11.3 1.73 2.6 -0.87 2.02 2.32 -0.3 -0.57

Raitis Ivanans -0.09 -0.46 6.24 0.48 1.6 -1.12 2.23 2.44 -0.21 -0.91

Tom Preissing -0.11 -0.26 11.52 2.13 3.55 -1.42 1.84 1.76 0.08 -1.5

Jack Johnson 0.02 -0.01 16.37 1.28 3.3 -2.02 1.93 1.93 0 -2.02

Derek Armstrong -0.08 -0.33 7.67 0.85 3.38 -2.54 2.36 2.63 -0.27 -2.27

LOS ANGELESEvery game, we provide you with the Behind The Net numbers. These are at even strength, 5-on-5. Key: QUALCOMP- A measure of the quality of competition each player faces on the ice. Calculated by averaging +/-/60 for opponents on the ice against player. QUALTEAM- A measure of the quality of teammates each player plays with. Calcu-lated by averaging +/-/60 for teammates on ice with player. TOI/60- Time on ice, per 60 minutes, that player spends on ice at full-strength. GFON/60, GAON/60- Goals for and against team per 60 min. player is on ice +/-ON/60- Team’s Plus/minus, per 60 minutes, while player is on ice. +/-OFF/60- Plus/minus of team while player is off ice, per 60 minutes. RATING- +/-ON/60 subtracted by +/-OFF/60.

Referee Stats For The HawksReferees 1st NHL

GameHawks Games Hawks PP’s Hawks

PK’s Pens/Game Hawks PP/Game Hawks PK/

GameW L OTL

2 Fraser, Kerry 1980 3 14 17 10.3 4.7 5.7 3 0 0

3 Leggo, Mike 1997 3 10 15 8.3 3.3 5.0 2 0 1

4 McCauley, Wes 2003 5 11 14 5.0 2.2 2.8 2 2 0

5 Rooney, Chris 2000 1 4 1 5.0 4.0 1.0 1 0 0

6 Marouelli, Dan 1984 3 14 11 8.3 4.7 3.7 1 2 0

7 McCreary, Bill 1984 4 17 15 8.0 4.3 3.8 2 3 0

8 Jackson, Dave 1990 5 23 20 8.6 4.6 4.0 3 1 1

10 Devorski, Paul 1989 2 9 13 11.0 4.5 6.5 1 1 0

11 Sutherland, Kelly 2000 1 5 8 13.0 5.0 8.0 0 1 0

12 Koharski, Don 1981 4 19 20 9.8 4.8 5.0 3 0 1

13 O’Halloran, Dan 1995 4 22 17 9.8 5.5 4.3 2 1 1

14 LaRue, Dennis 1991 5 22 22 8.8 4.4 4.4 3 0 1

15 Auger, Stephane 2000 4 17 13 7.5 4.3 3.3 3 0 1

16 Shick, Rob 1986 1 2 2 4.0 2.0 2.0 0 0 1

18 Kimmerly, Greg 1996 5 26 25 10.2 5.2 5.0 3 2 0

20 Peel, Tim 1999 2 13 13 13.0 6.5 6.5 1 1 0

21 VanMassenhoven, Don 1993 3 10 5 5.0 3.3 1.7 2 0 1

23 Watson, Brad 1996 2 7 4 5.5 3.5 2.0 1 0 1

25 Joannette, Marc 1999 2 13 5 9.0 6.5 2.5 1 0 1

26 Martell, Rob 1996 1 3 1 4.0 3.0 1.0 1 0 0

27 Furlatt, Eric 2001 6 27 26 8.8 4.5 4.3 2 3 1

28 Lee, Chris 2001 1 5 4 9.0 5.0 4.0 1 0 0

29 Walsh, Ian 2000 1 1 3 4.0 1.0 3.0 0 1 0

30 Hasenfratz, Mike 2000 3 22 13 11.7 7.3 4.3 0 1 2

32 Kowal, Tom 2000 4 13 10 5.8 3.3 2.5 4 0 0

33 Pollock, Kevin 2000 3 10 12 7.3 3.3 4.0 1 1 1

34 Meier, Brad 1999 4 14 20 8.5 3.5 5.0 3 1 0

35 Warren, Dean 1999 - - - - - - - - -

36 Morton, Dean 2000 2 16 10 13.0 8.0 5.0 0 1 1

38 St Laurent, Francois 2006 2 14 15 14.5 7.0 7.5 1 0 1

39 Dwyer, Gord 2003 3 16 15 10.3 5.3 5.0 2 0 1

40 Kozari, Steve 2006 4 26 20 11.5 6.5 5.0 2 2 0

42 O’Rourke, Dan 1999 2 11 13 12.0 5.5 6.5 1 0 1

43 Pochmara, Brian 2006 1 4 7 11.0 4.0 7.0 1 0 0

45 St. Pierre, Justin 2003 6 29 26 9.2 4.8 4.3 3 1 2

NHL LEADERSPoints

Player Team P

1 Evgeni Malkin PIT 892 A. Ovechkin WAS 813 S. Crosby PIT 794 Zach Parise NJ 765 Pavel Datsyuk DET 7533 Patrick Kane CHI 55

Goals

Player Team G

1 A. Ovechkin WAS 452 Zach Parise NJ 383 Jeff Carter PHI 364 I. Kovalchuk ATL 345 P. Marleau SJ 3421 J. Toews CHI 25

GAA

Player Team GAA

1 Tim Thomas CBJ 2.062 Steve Mason CBJ 2.143 Pekka Rinne NSH 2.154 N. Backstrom MIN 2.245 M. Fernandez BOS 2.248 N. Khabibulin CHI 2.31

SV%

Player Team SV%

1 Tim Thomas BOS .9332 T. Vokoun FLA .9273 Pekka Rinne NSH .9264 N. Backstrom MIN .9255 N. Khabibulin CHI .924

I’m coming up on my tenth year living in New York. While I love the city and think it’s one of the greatest cities in the world, in no way do I consider myself a New Yorker. I am, and shall always be, at least in this cluttered and sticky mind, a Chicagoan living in New York. Thus I get a lot of Grief when things go wrong for us in the Second City.

Our governor comes to mind. But the governor of New York is only governor because the last governor had a hooker problem, so that quickly goes away. There was the whole Eli vs Rex thing but Eli won his Super Bowl and I just let that one go down as a loss. Then there’s the Cubs......

Finally, my New York friends get around to the Blackhawks, and for the life of them they don’t understand how so many people can hate the GM of a team any city would love to have. Young passion-ate, talented players who work hard, play right, and are all under 25 (O.K., not all, but you get the point.) This is probably the most ideal team to have in the NHL and yet everyone wants the head of general manager Dale Tallon.

It was understandable to hate the decision to take Tallon out of the booth and put him in the front office. Yet another Wirtz-Pulford Stooge was the general unfair thought at the time. When Tallon took over for the awful, awful, and let me just say again, awful Mike Smith. things were bleak. It was even more understandable after Tallon’s free agent signings stunk up the UC.

But Tallon learned from his mistakes. He even has admitted as much. He has dedicated toward building this team through the draft. And man, has the draft produced. A lot of people tack up Tallon’s success to “...lucking out on Kane and Toews.” These people are wrong, plain and simple. Dave Bolland, Duncan Kieth, Brent Seabrook, and Kris Versteeg (though he was a trade) have all had their time in the “invaluable”

role as well. Almost every trade has worked out well-Sharp, Havlat, the aformentioned Versteeg, the fifth grader we’re eventually going to get for Byfuglien- right?

Tallon’s not perfect. The goalie situation is silly (although productive). Brian Campbell, while being a very good addition to the team, was given way too much money.

This is where Blackhawk fans jump in with both feet. They’re so terrified of losing some player due to salary cap restric-tions in two years that they can’t enjoy what’s in front of their face right now. When you talk to Blackhawk fans -- or blog with them as the case may be -- you get the impression they’d rather watch the Blackhawks lose and be right about Dale Tallon then to have the Blackhawks win and admit they were wrong.

Crazy.

Hopefully a good run of April and May Blackhawk games changes the tide. Or maybe Bill Guerin on Mar. 4th. Whatever it is, I hope some people take a look at what Tallon and his staff are doing with this Blackhawk team.

As for me, well, my Rangers fan friends have Scott Gomez and his 10 goals and $7-mil per year contract for another 5 years. Underachieving Chris Drury and his $7 million for another 3 years, and Wade Redden and his -20, $6 million+ contract for another 5. Those conversations don’t last long either.

Adam Fels lives in New York, after raising himself and his little brother in the standing room of the Old Stadium. The latter went on to start this complete waste of time. If you’d like to tell Adam thank you for turning the editor of this into an official drain on society, albeit a hilarious drain on society, you can reach him at felsster@gmail.com

If you’d like to contribute to our silly little rag, please send sub-missions to committedindian@gmail.com. All guest contributors will have a chance to win a free jersey from Triple Threat Sports!

The Committed IndianWe’re freezing our ass off so you can laugh yours off

Defending Your GM

Adam Fels

The Other Brother

The Making of The Chicago Blackhawks

YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT2008-2009 Brian Campbell (BUF 6th round 1997

Cristobal Huet (LA 7th round 2001)Matt Walker (STL 3rd round 1998)Aaron Johnson (CLB 3rd round 2001)Antti Niemi (Undrafted FA)

2007-2008 Patrick Kane (1st round) Ben Eager (PHO 1st round 2002) from PHI for Jim Vandermeer (FA PHI 2000)Craig Adams (HAR 9th round 1996) from CAR for future considerations.Andrew Ladd (CAR 1st round 2004) from CAR for Tuomo Ruutu (CHI 1st round 2001)

Brent Sopel (VAN 6th round 1995)

2006-2007 Jonathan Toews (1st round) Martin Havlat (OTT 1st round 1999) from OTT and Bryan Smolinski (BOS 1st round 1990) for Tom Preissing (FA SJ 2003), Josh Hennessy (SJ 2nd round 2003) and Michael Barinka (CHI 2nd round 2003)Kris Versteeg (BOS 5th round 2004) from BOS for Brandon Bochenski (OTT 7th round 2001)

2005-2006 Jack Skille (1st round) Patrick Sharp (PHI 3rd round 2001) from PHI for Matt Ellison (CHI 4th round 2002) and CHI 3rd round pick 2006

Nikolai Khabibulin (WIN 9th round 1992)

2004-2005 Cam Barker (1st round)Dave Bolland (2nd round)Troy Brouwer (7th round)

2003-2004 Brent Seabrook (1st round)Dustin Byfuglien (8th round)

Colin Fraser (PHI 3rd round 2003), Jim Vandermeer (PHI FA 2000) and 2004 2nd round pick from PHI for Alex Zhamnov and 2004 4th round pick (WIN 4th round 1990)

2002-2003 Duncan Keith (2nd round)James Wisniewski (5th round)Adam Burish (9th round)

COACHESHead Coach-Joel QuennevilleAssistant Coach-John TorchettiAssistant Coach-Mike HavilandAssistant Coach- Marc BergevinGoaltending Coach-Stephane Waite

GM HISTORYDale Tallon (2005-Present)Bob Pulford (Too Fucking Long, Too Many Fuck-ing Times)Mike Smith (2001-2004)Bob Murray (1999-2000)

info in part provided by hockeyreference.com

The Making of The Los Angeles Kings

YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT2008-2009 Drew Doughty (1st round) Brad Richardson (COL 5th round

2003) from COL for 2008 2nd round pickJarrett Stoll (EDM 2nd round 2002) and Matt Greene (EDM 2nd round 2002) from EDM for Lubomir Vis-novsky (LA 4th round 2000)Denis Gauthier (CAL 1st round 1995) and 2010 2nd round choice from PHI for Patrik Hersley (LA 5th round 2005) and Ned Lukacevic (LA 4th round 2004)Sean O’Donnell (BUF 6th round 1991) from ANA for conditional 2009 pick

Kyle Quincey (DET 4th round 2003) off waivers from DET

2007-2008 Oscar Moller (2nd round)Wayne Simmonds (2nd round)

Kyle Calder (CHI 5th round 1997)Michal Handzus (STL 4th round 1995)Tom Preissing (SJ Undrafted FA 2003)Erik Ersberg (Undrafted FA)

2006-2007 Patrick O’Sullivan (MIN 2nd round 2003) and 2006 1st round pick from MIN for Pavol Demitra (OTT 9th round 1993)Jack Johnson (CAR 1st round 2005) and Oleg Tverdovsky (ANA 1st round 1994) from CAR for Eric Belanger (LA 4th round 1996) and Tim Gleason (OTT 1st round 2001)

Raitis Ivanans (Undrafted FA)Teddy Purcell (Undrafted FA)John Zeiler (PHX 5th round 2002)

2005-2006 Anze Kopitar (1st round)Jonathan Quick (3rd round)

Peter Harrold (Undrafted FA)

2003-2004 Dustin Brown (1st round)2002-2003 Derek Armstrong (NYI 6th round

1992) from NYR for 2003 6th round pick

2000-2001 Alexander Frolov (1st round)

COACHESHead Coach-Terry MurrayAssistant Coach- Mark HardyAssistant Coach- Jamie KomponGoaltending Coach- Bill Ranford

GM HISTORY2007-Present: Dean Lombardi1998-2007: Dave Taylor

info in part provided by hockeyreference.com

Playing at home............ 15-5-6Playing on road........... 19-12-3Scoring first.......... 23-5-3Opponent scores first........ 11-12-6Shoot the puck bimbo scores...... 4-1-1Shoot the puck bimbo doesn’t score...... 11-3-5Shoot the puck bimbo blows editors of Commited Indian..... 0-0-0ANYONE blows editors of Committed Indian ................. 0-1-0Playing on a Monday.............. 2-2-1 Playing on a Tuesday................ 5-2-0Playing on a Wednesday........... 7-1-2Playing on a Thursday.............. 2-3-0Playing on a Friday................ 4-3-3Playing on a Saturday............. 7-4-3Playing on a Sunday................ 7-2-0Savard changes lines during game... 1-2-1Coach Q keeps lines as they are..... 33-15-8Are out-muscled by opponent.... 10-13-4Outshoot opponent....... 23-10-4Are outshot by opponent.... 11-7-5Havlat shies from contact......... 16-6-6Patrick Kane scores............... 11-4-2Jonathan Toews scores.......... 11-1-5Martin Havlat scores............. 12-4-1Patrick Sharp scores............ 15-3-2Dustin Byfuglien scores......... 6-1-1Dustin Byfuglien turns down a hit...... 27-13-7Andrew Ladd scores............. 9-0-1Dave Bolland scores......... 10-1-2Adam Burish scores....... 3-2-0, and totally ruins that joke51 Phantom scores....... 3-2-1Duncan Keith scores........ 4-3-0Brent Seabrook scores...... 4-0-1VerStud scores.... 10-4-1Troy Brouwer scores.... 7-0-0Scoring a Power Play goal....... 25-5-8Not scoring a Power Play goal... 9-11-1Allowing a Power Play goal...... 13-14-9Not Allowing a Power Play goal....... 21-3-0Scoring a short-handed goal........... 6-2-0

Allowing a short-handed goal......... 2-2-1Taking 30 or more shots......... 25-12-7Taking less than 30 shots..... 9-5-2Allowing 30 shots or more...... 16-6-5Allowing 30 shots or less......... 18-11-4100 Level doesn’t cheer for anthem. 15-4-61st of a back-to-back...... 4-4-32nd of a back-to-back..... 7-4-0Opponent played night before.... 8-3-1Taking more than 5 penalties..... 16-13-4Taking 5 or less penalties.... 18-4-5Seabrook gets a flat-footed penalty.... 8-4-4Burish takes a penalty....... 7-5-2Keith takes a penalty......... 10-3-2Sharp takes a penalty....... 10-2-2Toews takes a penalty..... 8-4-2Havlat takes a penalty.... 5-3-1Sopel takes a penalty...... 3-2-1Sopel looks 6 steps slow...... 7-5-551 Phantom blows a coverage...... 23-14-8Toews is trying too hard...... 3-7-2At least 1 fight in 300 Level... 3-2-4No fights in 300 Level..... 12-3-2Playing Eastern Conference..... 7-2-3Playing Western Conference..... 27-15-6Playing Central Division...... 4-6-5Playing Northwest Division.... 12-5-0Playing Pacific Division 11-4-1Playing Atlantic Division 1-1-2Playing NASCAR Division 3-1-0Playing Northeast Division 3-0-1Playing in October.... 4-3-3Playing in November.... 6-3-3Playing in December...... 10-1-1Playing in January..... 7-6-1Playing in February..... 7-4-1Playing in March...... 0-0-0Playing in April...... 0-0-0UC plays really stupid goal song..... 15-3-6Huet’s five-hole open like Lindsay Lohan’s..... 3-9-3

Getting obliterated on face-offs....... 13-10-4Are even close on face-offs..... 21-7-5Eddie O tells crew to “stop it right here!”.... 29-15-9Eddie O tells us D have the forwards and forwards have the D during 4-on-4........ 29-15-9Pat Foley screws up a name...... 32-14-9Ice Crew wear skirts....... 6-1-3Ice Crew wear pants....... 3-1-0Ice Crew wear shorts.... 6-3-3Member of Ice Crew hilariously falls on her shapely ass.... 0-1-0Leading after 2 periods...... 28-2-3Losing after 2 periods...... 2-10-3Tied after 2 periods......... 4-5-3In overtime.......... 3-4In shootout....... 2-5Cam Barker plays....... 27-13-6Cam Barker is in Rockford due to GM incompetence..... 5-2-3Lacking a #2 center........ 34-17-9In 1-goal games..... 7-6-9In 2-goal games...... 11-5-0In 3-goal games....... 7-4-0In 4+ goal games...... 8-2-0Scoring 3+ goals..... 32-4-4Scoring less than 3 goals...... 2-12-4PA plays Ministry....... 0-0-0PA plays Modern Cock-Rock..... 15-5-6PA plays Classic Cock-Rock....... 9-4-6PA plays P.J. Harvey........ 0-0-0Fraser fights...... 7-2-1Burish fights....... 5-2-0Seabrook fights..... 0-0-0Barker fights......... 0-0-2Buff fights......... 1-0-2Sharp fights........ 1-0-0Eager fights.......... 9-1-1On Comcast...... 26-9-6On WGN....... 8-5-3On Vs........ 0-2-0On NBC.... 0-1-0Judd Sirott hates Adam Creighton 34-17-9

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